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{
"query": "Anyone planning a no-buy for next year? Or Anything simliar? \n\nI am thinking of trying one out after 2 years of a ‘buy nothing new’ streak. My fashion budget is usually only $300 a year, but just for the sake of cutting down on waste and on possessions I am thinking of doing a 6 month no-buy. I just want to learn to stop hunting for new things and be happy with what I have.\n\n\n**Review of my two years of buy nothing new:**\n\n\nWhen I first started, I was working part time and going to school part-time. I had a lots of time and was able to find a lot of cool stuff. The thrift store near me does half-priced Mondays, and I happened to have time to shop on that day. Also, I was working high-level retail sales the previous year so I had lots of cool stuff(75% discount with 1 free item per month). Once my cohort started, I had like zero time/energy to shop and stuck with poshmark since I was so focused on academic achievement. First year, since I had more time I spent more(around $330/20 items), but all of those were low cost buys. With poshmark, I spent more per piece, but less over all($173/6 items) Now that I am working, I have the time but I also wear a uniform to work so its not like I really need to have any new stuff. So I thought I would try to level up challenge wise and try a buy-no period out.\nNo-Buy/Low-Buy/Buy-Nothing new 2020",
"chosen": "I will try!!! I have spent far too much money on clothing in 2019 in hopes of getting my wardrobe to a more adult place. Only thing I plan on buying in 2020 is a cuyana leather tote. In 2019 I cut out Amazon/ASOS (+ all fast fashion), and buying makeup I don't wear/need, so I feel like I can do it!\n",
"rejected": "I tried a few months of no-buy in 2019, and when I \"fell off\" I ended up going a bit wild and figured since I'd messed up already, there was no point in not going all out and spending hundreds! So clearly, that didn't work out. 😕\n\nI think I'm going to try a low-buy/no-buy-new for a few months in 2020, and extend the goal as I go. Committing to a year didn't work, but a month or two at a time is a little more doable. I hope. My closet is packed and I need to save money for some trips I have planned...\n"
},
{
"query": "I mean in all ways from thieves to spills that stain and everything in between. I recently brought a Prada Vela backpack and I'm in the process of finding a local store to buy a long wallet in person (the retail selection online seems limited, mostly sold out). These are my first *designer* pieces and I want to make sure I treat them right and beyond that keep them for many years to come. Not just because they're expensive but because I bought/am buying them to commemorate a sizable step in my professional life that I want to look back on for many years to come :) I am a college student but atm I'm hired by a company and plan to alternate between this and a different (brown) bag.\n\nThis is the first... anything really I've owned more expensive than my TI-84+ and I spazz out over losing even that.\n\nSooo, how do you care for and maintain the integrity of your more expensive items? What steps do I take to prevent or strongly discourage theft? Any tips appreciated!\nWhat do you ladies do to protect your investment pieces?",
"chosen": "I'm not sure exactly how this works, but in my industry (makeup artistry) many women are able to take out insurance on their kits. If you have designer pieces, I'm pretty sure you can insure those as well.\n\nIf I remember correctly, most are insured under your home insurance (fire/ flooding). That's something that you can possibly look into through your own insurance company :)\n",
"rejected": "THEFT - I live in a pretty bad/high theft area - my main thing is I don't buy anything that can be readily identified as designer brand/expensive. Walk down the street with an LV tote, everyone's going to know. Walk down the street with a Kate Spade/Prada bag where the label can be easily hidden (by turning label inwards, or literally just positioning your arm over it). I wouldn't take anything expensive anywhere where I constantly do not have a hold on it - I would never put it down even for just a second. Which sounds very paranoid I know, but that's just how I am.\n\nStore in dust bag, away from direct sunlight. I keep mine safely in a box in the back of my cupboard.\n"
},
{
"query": "I have only met one girl who plays games, so I'm interested in finding out what other girls play. \n\nPersonally I've played paladins, fallout, skyrim, black ops zombies, COD, Zelda and etc. \n\nIm just all over the place. What are you guys?\nWhat do all you girls on here play?",
"chosen": "Botw, stardew valley, Guild wars 2, fallout 3, the Witcher 3, dragon age inquisition(2nd run). Are currently what I have installed/playing. \n\nI don't know if this counts as all over the place? I try to play what's good/worth the time. I made the mistake of being a little brand loyal with the last mass effect and it really screwed me over, so lesson learned.\n",
"rejected": "Right now I’m stuck in a never-ending loop of various Assassins Creed games (can you tell by my URL?) but I love multiplayer Diablo whenever my buddies are in town and kicking their butts in Mario Kart if they ever dare challenge me. 😈\n"
},
{
"query": "Hi FFA, \n\nI am excited to be starting a new job soon and I am doing the dreadful interpretation of the organization's dress code. When I visited for the interview, clothing ranged from business professional to jeans and sandals. Needless to say, I'm at a loss. \n\nOf course, I reached out to HR and I am getting the actual guidelines, but in the meantime, what are your experiences starting a job and interpreting the dress code? Any missteps?\nParsing your company's dress code:Share your lessons learned",
"chosen": "Err on the side of too formal, even if it feels boring. Dress pants and button ups are hard to fail. \n\nDon't wear anything that would appropriate in a gym or a club. \n\nNo visible underwear (bra straps, etc)\n\nNo stains, tears, or holes.\n",
"rejected": "I started a at company yesterday that is “dress for your day.” What is that?! I am in a position that interacts with the exec staff often and look a little younger than I am, so I am going with business casual and then jeans on Fridays. Otherwise I would probably dress smart casual. I know how you are feeling—I saw several people wearing Tevas and in my last company any kind of flip flops would have been a definite no!\n"
},
{
"query": "Curious to know what you feel really defines your style! Let's have a share party.\nLadies of the Alt/Punk/Goth/Emo/Dark Colors Style Persuasion: What are your favorite pieces?",
"chosen": "Sounds boring but black pantyhose. I keep the ripped ones in a separate drawer as the undamaged ones so I can coordinate my outfit depending on the occasion.\n",
"rejected": "I have a public facing job, so here's my corporate dark list:\n\n* Almost all items in black, navy, burgundy, or olive, or a few light neutrals.\n* Cuts for basic wardrobe workhorses are fairly typical corporate - pencil skirts, button downs, trousers, sheath dresses.\n* Shoes are subtly alt - boots, pointy oxfords and the like. No ballet slippers or heels, though I do have some simple loafers that I love.\n* Some funky cardigans and scarves - drapey waterfall elements for the swoosh factor\n* The details are spot on - edgy jewelry (amber in simple settings, a big wooden cuff ring, a simple but pointy cuff bracelet and the like), winged eyeliner with dark eyeshadow, nails in odd colors (I'm sporting a dark purple at the moment, I've done gold, olive, teal, and blue without raising any boss eyebrows - but I think it's important that the nails are never chipped, I keep them perfect).\n\nThe details, colors, and drapey elements keep my inner dark goddess happy. The cuts keep my boss happy. The overall vibe really works well.\n"
},
{
"query": "Personally, I think it's going to bomb. I mean, I liked Dragon Age: Origins, but it just seems like every sequel since then is aiming for a different/smaller/(more)niche audience and that the sales are going to show for that. It definitely did for Dragon Age II.\n\nTheir PR team isn't really anything to write home about either. But like I said before, that's just my expectation. I want to hear everyone's; good, bad, optimistic, indifferent, etc.\nWhat are everyone's expectations for Dragon Age: Inquisition?",
"chosen": "I'm pumped! I'm going to Gamescom next week and hope to sneak a peek. But unfortunately it'll come out around the time I have to write my Bachelor's thesis, there is gonna be some conflict of interest...\n",
"rejected": "Aren't you just a ray of s sunshine. :p\n\nFrom what I've seen, I'm expecting an absolutely gorgeous game. From what I've heard, I'm expecting an intriguing story. From experience with BioWare, I am expecting wonderfully written and believable characters. \n\nMost of all I'm expecting to live and breathe this game for at least two months. :) It's going to be engaging and *fun*.\n"
},
{
"query": "PIPER! I love it so much! I was looking up girl names and this one just *spoke* to me. It was a brilliant moment. It's got the perfect amount of spunk for my personality ;). What'd y'all think?\nI decided my new name!!!",
"chosen": "That's Agent Scully's daughter's name!\n",
"rejected": "I like it!\n\nDid you try to keep initials or just whatever name you loved?\n"
},
{
"query": "Hi, so I’m finally out of a very bad depressive phase and I wanna start gaming again, I’m very limited right now only having a switch and a pc (I’m super bad at pc games so if you recommend something pc please make it something simple) I just really wanna get back into being a gamer girl I once was! C: \n\nIf it helps I really like RPGs, Hack n slash, adventure/puzzle games, tell tale games, and any kinda fun relaxing game.\n\nThe only games I cannot play are FPS, I get really bad motion sickness to the point where I puke from them (some other games too but it’s more tolerable) no clue why this happens but yea lol.\nNeed Game Recommendations",
"chosen": "Not a girl, but my favorite title on the switch has been Stonefly. It was something nice to look forward to during a dark time for me last year. You play as a girl who is trying to find her dad's stolen project, which is a mech designed to fight bugs and traverse the forest. BTW you're tiny. It's very fun and flowy and the music is great. Neat story, and you feel yourself getting more in tune with the controls as you play. Worth the spend.\n",
"rejected": "Final fantasy 14 is really great! But has a bit of a learning curve. But there are TONS of nice people in game that can help you dip your toes. Some servers are more geared towards told play, others areore raid/PvP oriented.. Some are just chill casual\n"
},
{
"query": "For example, estrogen is also important for bone synthesis. So, do bones ache more, trans men? Or do your bones ache less, trans women? This type of things which are like not directly observable unless told.\n\nNSFW effects are also welcome\nHi, everyone talks about growing books when taking E or growing beard when taking T but what are passive effects you faced after HRT?",
"chosen": "I have not experienced bones aching ever in my life, before or after hormones.\n\nThe effect of testosterone no one seems to talk about until someone asks (and the everyone says \"oh, yeah, that totally happened to me\") is thicker fingernails and sometimes nails growing faster. Most other things I can think of get talked about if you spend time in transmasculine spaces.\n",
"rejected": "common misconception, estrogen doesn't grow books it merely grows pages which can later be bound as books but can also be used for smaller works like pamphlets or magazines \n\ngenerally sufficient levels of either primary sex hormone prevents worse bone density, so usually thats not an issue.\n\nI guess my sense of smell and taste have changed a fair but on estrogen, its not radical or anything but Ive gone from preferring the darkest possible roast to a lighter roast with coffee, i'm less fond or licorice, etc. \n\ni get colder easier and all the time\n"
},
{
"query": "I saw a segment on “Good Morning America” (maybe the “Today Show?”) that featured UV protective clothing and they conducted a test that measured the temperature of the clothes after 10 mins of sun. They found that different brands provided different levels of heat protection in addition to UV protection. For example, one shirt was at 92F, another was at 83F, and her cotton shorts was at 100F (rough temperature estimates based on my memory). All this is to say that it got me thinking. \n\nSo my questions to FFA are:\n\n(1) What UV protective clothing keeps you cool while out and about doing active things like hiking?\n\n(2) What UV protective clothing would you wear out for a summer brunch?\nWhat UV protective clothing do you recommend?",
"chosen": "Uniqlo makes some of their basic cardigans, pullovers, and tees with UV protection. The line is called UV Cut. It’s really nice if you want something that has protection but doesn’t look like athletic wear.\n",
"rejected": "I think Athleta has UV protective clothing that you can wear in nicer settings \n\nI haven’t personally shopped there though\n"
},
{
"query": "This thread is for simple style questions that you may have, especially those that don't warrant their own thread. We all want a diversified opinion, so feel free to answer any questions (of which you know the answer).\n\nExample questions: What are your favorite black boots <$250? What should I wear on a date? Are there any good white t-shirts?\nSimple Questions - September 05, 2016",
"chosen": "Ladies who walk to work, how do you arrive without looking like a sweaty mess? I just took a walked to find my workplace for tomorrow and my back was completely soaked from my sweat. Do you usually go to a nearby washroom and change?\n",
"rejected": "Since I try to create my own style by building first on the basics I have encountered a huge obstacle in the last months. I literally can't find to buy anything that is neither 70s or 90s fashion, or anything that is trendy right now.\n\nI have searched online, in stores both in Western and Eastern Europe, I am close to having a breakdown. My problem is that those trends or those pieces do not represent me in any ways and I'm in serious need of basic and timely articles.\n\nThe colors seem to be also non existent or just a few shades, I have no idea what to do anymore. I'm really willing to invest money in good pieces if I could find some! Please, any piece of advice is highly appreciated! thank you!\nI'm also 23 so I wish to dress appropriately for my age\n"
}
] | 4
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3895
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[
{
"query": "Hello men of Reddit :) \n\nI have a very high libido, and I think this is a problem in my relationships. \n\nMy last relationship ended after 2.5 years in part because I wasn't sexually satisfied by him, and he preferred masturbating/porn watching to having sex with me. It hadn't always been like that; in the beginning, we had sex a few times a week, but it dwindled down to a couple of times a month, which was extremely difficult for me, as I felt undesired.\n\nI have been dating my current boyfriend for about 3 months, and while sex with him is great, it's not as frequent as I'd like. I have communicated to him that if I could, I'd have sex at least once a day (multiple times a day on days off/weekends etc), and that I want a guy who is as into me as I am into him, sexually.\n\nHe actually just told me this morning, \"when it feels like a chore, I don't feel like doing it.\" \n\nHelp!! I don't want sex to feel like a chore - I feel like I'm creating the exact environment I want to avoid! How can I fix this? What am I doing wrong/what can I do to change my behavior and make it more fun/natural than chore-like? Has anyone else been in this situation?\nSex as a chore?",
"chosen": "Just wondering, as you've said this happened before, is it your libido that makes you want to have sex daily, or does sex mean something else to you? Like do you think if you don't have sex daily, you are unloved/undesirable?\n",
"rejected": "maybe you need to find a lover. if you love someone you naturally want to please them. also helps to talk which is much easier when love is involved. sounds like you just want to fuck. much more in life than that.\n"
},
{
"query": "A coworker once told me I do a lot of things with \"style\" and and that I always look really cool when I do it. What about you guys?\nWhat's an unusual compliment you received that you really liked",
"chosen": "This is something I told someone else that I didn't mean as a compliment, but their response was \"That's the best compliment I've ever received.\"\n\nI told him I had gone to a conference about how our lives are like a story, and we develop our own character by who we spend the most time with. So I told him I wanted to hang out with him more.\n",
"rejected": "Not sure if it is particularly unusual, but I was told I’m a “renaissance man” because I have a variety of hobbies/interests/skills.\n\nI’m not a handyman or artist, but I do beekeeping, some gardening (mostly growing native milkweeds), wildlife photography, and freediving to name the most prominent.\n\nI suppose I really liked it because I don’t have typical “masculine” skills and it was nice that someone at least recognized that I have a skill set regardless.\n"
},
{
"query": "As I was reading comments about men not taking NO for answer when picking up women, I realized that I haven't even tried to charm woman once in last three years (m29).\n\nSo how about you, normal people, how often do you try that? What are some normie numbers?\nHow often do you try pickup women?",
"chosen": "I've never tried. I am not physically attractive, I have difficulty noticing/reading social cues, and I am not an expert conversationalist by any stretch.\n\nCombined, I see no point in trying to approach. I simply lack what is needed to make that work.\n",
"rejected": "i asked out a girl 1 timein the past two years and it went poorly lol\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm just wondering if it's an aim thing or something. Seems like if men could pee with the seat down it would save either of us from having to touch the seat to either lift it or put it down.\nWhy can't men pee with the seat down?",
"chosen": "Take a garden hose turn it on full blast and then slowly shut off the water. Same general idea. I suppose we could sit down to pee but there's some stigma attached to that and frankly it's easier not to.\n",
"rejected": "Why don't we pee with the seat down? because we don't need to. I ain't wasting my time dropping trow just to pee.\n"
},
{
"query": "My girlfriend and I are studying abroad in different places, and a couple of days ago she jokingly mentioned how much Denmark (where she's studying) sucks because its harder to get guys to buy her drinks. I told her I was uncomfortable with this, because 1. Its unfair to the guy and 2. Because accepting a drink sometimes comes with expectations that could turn into a bad situation. She eventually agreed to only accepting drinks from guys if she told them that she had a boyfriend and they still wanted to buy her one (if they want to waste their money it's fine by me), but she made it seem like I was being incredibly irrational. Am I being irrational, or is this a reasonable concern?\nUncomfortable with my girlfriend accepting drinks from guys at the bar: am I being irrational?",
"chosen": "She shouldn't be accepting drinks period, and should be immediately shutting them down. Sure sounds like that's not what she's doing. (This is part of why I never dated women who went to bars or clubs.)\n\nShe honestly probably enjoys the attention, which is another thing I find shady.\n\nAnd this doesn't even address the possibility that the drink someone gets her is drugged.\n",
"rejected": "Girls that try to get guys to buy them drinks make me glad I'm an asshole.\n"
},
{
"query": "I personally hate guys asking ..Tell me about yourself or what you wearing ...🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️\nSO guys ..what's a question you hate/dislike the ladies asking and why ?",
"chosen": "Okay guys look as a lady I’m sorry okay?\n\nI think we’re curious creatures that have to many thoughts in a day and we like to pick your brain to understand you.\n\nMy poor boyfriend comes home from work and when I ask him what he wants to eat tomorrow he’s I don’t care \n\nIt’s hard to adjust too \nBut I’m my own experience it’s us just trying to know you and take care of you.\n",
"rejected": "How tall are you?\n"
},
{
"query": "I've just asked the women this on askwomen and I'd like a male perspective. So which tv character would you have sex with? And why do they ring your bell?. so to speak.\n\nPs thanks for reading and possibly answering.\nWhich tv character would you have sex with and why?",
"chosen": "She's not on tv anymore but Ariana Grande. Now Sarah Hyland.\n",
"rejected": "Bernadette from the Big Bang theory. \nBrilliant. Ambitious. A little shy, but crazy enough to still be lots of fun. \nFreaking gorgeous. Solid career. Body like woa. Smarter than most. \nI want one.\n"
},
{
"query": "I have three, the first one is maintaining eye contact for a long time, never got that one. All girls who did it didnt like me apparently. Second would be touching you for no reason, had a girl touching my elbow with her face randomly in a social situation. Add to that the puppy eyes and approaching me out of the blue, it was embarrasing to see her acting so rudely with me later (even though the fault was mine, too pushy).\n\n\n\n\nNone of these were indicators of the woman liking me as the belief goes, what are yours?\nMen, what hints/reactions from women do you absolutely not get?",
"chosen": "Honestly, a lot of the \"flirting cues\" that I see in Askmen(touching her hair, touching you, or laughing at what you say) I don't find to be true. Most of the time, when I do that, its just because I'm comfortable with you, not necessarily attracted. This applies to other girls too.\n",
"rejected": "Basically, all of them. Every woman is different. What one woman considers hinting, another woman considers \"just being friendly\", or \"casual innocent flirting\" with no end goal to it. You can't win.\n\nThat's why I no longer respond to hints.\n"
},
{
"query": "What you do when your parents tease you about not having a girlfriend considering your age and that you should have a girlfriend long time ago and you are still single ?\nWhat you do when your parents tease you about not having a girlfriend ?",
"chosen": "Double down and tell them you're gay.\n",
"rejected": "Date a bunch of bitches to get back at them. Protip: start doing drugs to assert dominance. ^(Don't actually do this stuff...)\n"
},
{
"query": "So I was watching the republican debates with someone yesterday and they were talking about immigration. My republican friend started talking about how it was not fair that they become legal citizens so on and so forth. Perfectly reasonable points. But then he said \"If they were allowed to vote the republican party as it is now would completely disappear and that scares me\". I was like \"But isn't that what is supposed to happen, when the views of the nation change so to should the elected officials?\". He got kind of quiet after that and I realized \"Holy shit, he is against it because he is afraid of other peoples views having the level of power his have now\".\n\nI know I have had these issues when it comes to Women's issues, mainly because I was angry I was not getting laid and I now recognize that was most of it. \n\nSo men, when have you held a view that you thought was reasonable, but was actually just justifying racism, sexism, etc.\nMen of reddit when have you held a view that seemed reasonable but eventually realized that it was based in racism/sexism/etc?",
"chosen": "I used to be a libertarian.\n\n*shudders*\n",
"rejected": "A view doesn't have to be unreasonable just because it's sexist/racist.\n\nIt's perfectly logical for women to be more afraid of men than other women when walking home at night. That doesn't mean it isn't sexist.\n\nStatistically, it makes sense for a person to be more afraid of blacks than whites. It's still racism.\n\nOptimally, sexism and racism shouldn't exist, but as the world works right now it's not unreasonable to hold racist/sexist thoughts. I think what matters the most is that you don't let them control you, and realize the inherent moral wrongs and negatives in having them.\n"
}
] | 6
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[
{
"query": "For me it’s not caring about social connections or work experience during my college years - silly of me, but it just keeps coming to me.\nWhat is something you really regret?",
"chosen": "Nothing really I just live my life.\n",
"rejected": "Not participating in offline events to meet new people and friends. Now I'm lonely\n"
},
{
"query": "Title pretty much says it. I thought it would be interesting to get the perspective of the opposite sex.\nWhat are some things women do with GOOD intentions that drive you nuts/turn you off? [x-post/AskWomen]",
"chosen": "trying to not 'emasculate' me when I actually need help.\n",
"rejected": "When they go out of their way to be \"one of the guys\".\n\nYou love strip clubs? Oh really? Most guys don't even \"love\" strip clubs. It's usually a male bonding thing where you're trying to cheer or a buddy up or send him off to marriage. I never brag or talk about going to strip clubs, so why do you?\n\nOh you're a big football fan? I notice you never chime in when we're talking about the offenses or defenses or a players performance from this week-to-last, but you talk about everything else throughout the entire game.\n\nIt doesn't make her a lame person or make me want to end a friendship (I know they're just trying to seem cool, or easy-going), but it's always something that makes me cringe a little and turns me off.\n"
},
{
"query": "We're having a small baby boom in my extended family and my cousin was complaining the other day about all her favourite names being taken by our older cousins one-by-one. I haven't really given it too much thought, but it would be interesting to hear what you have to say.\nGuys, do you have any names picked out already for your future children?",
"chosen": "I do. My last name is Cole and I want to have a boy and name him Keli (Kelly) - Think girl names for boys sound pretty cool.\n",
"rejected": "I've always liked the name Jazz for some reason, could be my son's name, or if I have a daughter name her Jasmine and call her Jazz\n"
},
{
"query": "(Seen on r/askwomen, thought it might be fun to see how the responses might be different)\nSatan opens \"Heck,\" the less severe circles of Hell. What goes on there my dudes, aside from the obvious unadulterated thermostat tampering?",
"chosen": "This time there's nothing but 10mm sockets.\n",
"rejected": "You have to sit next to the most beautiful demoness in Heck for 2 hours. All the while you have to fart.\n"
},
{
"query": "let me preface this by saying no this is not a joke.\n\nI should start with the basics and some disclaimers. I was born female. I am romantically and sexually attracted to men. I am not a tumblr socialjustice type. still, while honesty is welcome, please don't be rude. to any trans people reading if anything I say offends you I'm sorry I really am, I just want some answers to my question.\n\nnow then. I'm what is known as a person with transgender history. for years I identified as male and had gender dysphoria (discomfort or disgust with the female aspects of my body and existence, basically). that's how I saw myself, as a guy. I considered myself transgender and socially transitioned. this means that I started presenting as male - I ticked male on forms, dressed in men's clothes, used men's bathrooms, bound my chest, cut my hair short, changed my name to a man's name, all the people in my life referred to me using male pronouns, the works. I was my brother's brother. my father's other son. the funny thing is I actually am very feminine looking and quite attractive (just being honest). it was a huge irony at the time and I constantly got told that I made a \"hot girl so why would you do this to yourself\".\n\nwhile I sought a referral to things like counselling and psych, I never actually did any medical transitioning for fear of something called \"trans regret\", which is when someone \"de-transitions\" - they medically transition (surgery and/or hormones etc) but then change back because they feel they made a mistake. I never took any hormones. I never had any surgery. My female body is one hundred percent untouched and intact.\n\njust as well I was so cautious and didn't jump into anything like that because here we are today years later. I identify fully as a girl. I wear feminine clothing and makeup and have female pronouns and a girl's name. guys hit on me in bars. I no longer feel trans or male or masculine and I no longer feel dysphoria with my body. why this is I cannot say I just know that this is where I am now and that I'm happy, and fully comfortable about being a girl. if I didn't tell you about my history you would never know from looking at me.\n\nso that is my strange journey (if you have any questions feel free to ask, just don't be a dick). now on to my issue. I don't tell guys I see casually or have one night stands with my history. I don't want to lie to them or be dishonest but if you're just a fuck then why bother, it's not like you disclose your full medical history to one night stands or friends with benefits.\n\nbut I feel like for anyone I would start seeing on a serious level, it would be the honest thing to do to tell them. it's a part of my past, I'm different today but not ashamed of it, and I'd feel like they'd have a right to know. my question to you is this: if a girl you'd been dating for a while, who you thought things might go somewhere with and you quite liked her, if she turned around one day and was like hey we need to talk there's something I have to tell you, and told you what I just said up there, what would you do? would that completely freak you out and you'd run outta there without a backwards glance? I get it, it's a hell of a thing to be told and the average joe would be like WHAT THE FUCK. I'm just wondering are there any guys out there that WOULDN'T think I'm a total freak and would still consider seeing me romantically? this is something I stew over quite a lot.\n\nthanks for your time.\nI used to want to be a guy and identified as trans --dealbreaker?",
"chosen": "I'd have a ton of questions, specifically about what made you change your mind. I'd fear it was indicative of an insecure/indecisive personality.\n",
"rejected": "If you're anatomically a girl now, always have been, and have no plans to change that, then it's no dealbreaker to me.\n"
},
{
"query": "How do you feel about others using them? Are they annoying, or do they evoke another kind of emotion? Are you more or less likely to talk to someone who uses emojis?\nHow do you feel about emojis in online dating profiles?",
"chosen": "It's the 21st century. We're not communicating with Hieroglyphics. \n\nIf I were to send you a message, you better use at least some words in your response.\n",
"rejected": "As long as it doesn't reach \"SIGN ME THE FUCK UP, GOOD SHIT! 👀👀👀💯💯💯💯👌👌👌👌👌\" levels, I won't think much of it. If there's an emoji after every line of information... just why?\n"
},
{
"query": "It's not too often that I dress in a certain way to impress a guy but I find it interesting and sometimes helpful to know what guys aren't into lately and why?\nWhat are some current women's styles/trends that you can't stand?",
"chosen": "Bald heads.\n\nIm just not a fan.\n",
"rejected": "Nose, cheek, eyebrow, tongue, bellybutton, nipple or clit piercings. \n\nTattoos. \n\nLet me be clear. It's your body, you want them you go right ahead and be you. We'll still be friends. \n\nI just find them incredibly off putting and unattractive.\n"
},
{
"query": "Please state where you live too! Ideas to talk about: People, Culture, Sites, Landscape! Whatever comes to mind! Thanks\nPeople who have travelled to the UK but are from abroad, What differs and similarities do you see between your country and the UK?",
"chosen": "My home country is Palestine.\n\n- The fact that everyone speaks English and all the signs are only in English and shit was weird but expected. \n\n- The sweet sweet equality in the UK. Palestine has patriarchal bullshit like most Arab countries\n\n- People in the UK seem much more cold and unfriendly\n\n- I went to London and the sidewalks were very clean. It was odd but nice\n",
"rejected": "I'm from Melbourne (Aus), and spent the first 3 days of my 6 week Europe trip in London. \n\nThe cities are basically the same - relatively clean, concrete, steel and glass everywhere. Seemed to be a lot more trees around London though, and it's not set out as nicely as Melbourne (which is fair, Melbourne's only a couple hundred years old and the CBD is built in a grid). \n\nFound it adorable catching the train and hearing the announcements every 10 minutes about the heat and to stay hydrated (I think? It was a few years back) when it was only about 30-35 degrees.\n"
},
{
"query": "could be anything from moving across country to a job offer\nWhat is the biggest leap of faith you've taken and how did it turn out?",
"chosen": "I quit my job, broke up with my GF, and moved halfway across the country for school. Its going.\n",
"rejected": "I just got out of a messy relationship, so I was kind of down. I had a good job at a machine shop in the chrome department. It had health insurance, dental, lots of over time and vacation, I also fucking hated it. So the combination of the break up, working a third shift job I hated, very little sleep for months, so I realized something had to change and it was going to happen on its own. I always wanted to work out west, I was a snowboard instructor for 8 years at that point, and I had some certs. So with some help of my friend I got a great instructor job at his resort. Im getting up to three times what i made at the chrome shop, i get to board everyday, i work with a lot of great people, my bosses are awesome, ive met some very impressive people. Im glad i took the chance, i was very afraid that i would be getting into a job that wouldn't pay me enough to make it, but i did. After all that ive done at the ski school i even have an award named after me. Feels awesome\n"
}
] | 6
|
{
"logprob1": -7.152557373046875e-7,
"logprob2": -6.375,
"signal": 6.374999284744263
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00015926361083984375,
"logprob2": -10.75,
"signal": 10.74984073638916
}
| 4.374841
| 2
|
2257
|
[
{
"query": "Thought it would be interesting to get some feedback on what you guys consider to be red flags or more normal behaviour. I'm having some issues in my relationship where i have found myself stopping and thinking, would the other majority of other men put up with this?\n\nSome examples\n\n\nShe accepts free drinks or even food from guys when out at bars with her friends and I'm not there\n\nFlirting with guys at bars, e.g going up to them and playfully taking their hats etc.\n\nLogs onto her ex boyfriends facebook account to look through his stuff\n\nGets very annoyed if any girl was to come up to me to talk to me when we're out at a bar\n\nIf we have an arguement she will talk trash about me to her friends, I feel like this is bad as it just makes them look at me in a poor light\n\nWill reply to messages from guys who were trying to fuck her just before we got together. Like they will onviously message her drunk or something saying 'hey whats up' and she will still bother to reply.\n\n\nWhat of these would you guys see as no-no's in your relationship? And out of interest what are some other subtle red flags you have come to notice over the years.\nMen of reddit, what are some of your relationship red flags?",
"chosen": "If she's rude to wait staff or service people \n\nIf she talks shit about all her exes\n",
"rejected": "constantly going from relationship to relationship with little to no personal growth time being single in between is a massive massive red flag for me.\n"
},
{
"query": "There seems to be lot's of stories about guy's misinterpreting women's advances. Or stories about how guys feel hopeless with the opposite sex. \n\nWhat are some of your stories where everything went perfectly? How did you 'seduce' her? Was it luck, or a carefully orchestrated plan?\n\nPlease feel free to brag a bit, everyone needs to get props for when something goes well :)\nWhat is the smoothest thing you've ever done and had it work?",
"chosen": "Not me, but I watched my brother make this play and it's become a family legend.\n\nAt a bar with my brother, Dana. We finish shooting some pool and head over to the bar for another round. As we're waiting to get served, Dana starts chatting up this girl that was standing next to us. He just smiled at her and said \"Hi my name's Dana, what's your name?\" and immediately she lights up and responds \"Hey, my name is Dana too!\". My brother, without missing a beat and with balls of absolute steel, goes \"No way! I've never made out with another Dana before, want to make out?!\", smiles, and leans in a bit for a kiss. She went for it. He ended up going back to her place and I took a taxi home. Sometimes I really wish I had a girl's name too...\n",
"rejected": "This guy came over to watch Netflix and we were on two different couches and he stole the blanket I had and I tried to take it back. He pulled it back hard and pulled me on top of him. He was like \"fine, we can share.\" and sat up and pulled me next to him and put his arm around me. We ended up making out. \nI had no idea he even had the slightest interest in me.\nSo, as a female, this is the smoothest thing a guy has done.\n"
},
{
"query": "Recently ended things with a great (28yr old) guy I was seeing due to his stagnant lifestyle. He works only on weekends, lives in the basement of his dads house, plays video games and watches movies all week. He does this til about 7am and then wakes up at 1 or 2pm.\n\nWhen I ended things, he agreed with me that he's become too complacent with his life, and was disappointed that I decided to end things instead of addressing it to him first. We got on well, and he said he would've been happy knowing a person he has feelings for wants to help. Moreover,that you'd think a person who really cares about you, would stick it out and try to be a motivator instead of jumping the gun and leaving (as I did). \n\nI've been in a couple of relationships before where I took on a nurturing/rehabilitating girlfriend role, and frankly, I wouldn't mind meeting a guy who just has his shit together. Am I wrong? Should I have stuck it out to be a 'motivator'? He made me feel a little guilty about it. What're your thoughts?\nHave you ever changed your lifestyle because of a woman?",
"chosen": "I don't think it's possible to change a man who doesn't want to , but it is possible to be the one who lights the fire under a man who does.\n",
"rejected": "Becoming the \"motivator\" just makes you the target, and puts you into an ugly mommy role that you don't want to be in. Ultimately it will be counterproductive.\n\nIf he, any he in the world, gets his shit together on his own time, and in his own way, he'll own that activity for himself. That's very important.\n"
},
{
"query": "Or maybe you realized it really WAS correct. Please share whatever you think is pertinent. Thanks guys!\nWhat misconception did you have about women that you realized was incorrect as you got older?",
"chosen": "I did not realize how close the vagina was to the butthole.\n",
"rejected": "That women didn't care about looks. I think there would be less \"nice guys\" if people stopped peddling that bullshit and told dudes to change their appearance instead of \"be themselves\" when it came to advice for attracting women.\n"
},
{
"query": "Depending on the movement of course. If it's a normal movement, I just take off my shirt. However, if it's one where I'm going to be there a while and I'm going to have shoot something out, I'll get fully naked. Take my socks off too.\nHow naked do you get when you poop?",
"chosen": "I never understood people who get naked to poop. I just pull my pants/shorts down mid thigh and go. Sometimes I might already have my shirt off, so that's about as naked as it gets.\n",
"rejected": "What the fuck?\n\nI just pull my pants down. You're only going to be in there for five minutes, what the fuck are you getting naked for?\n"
},
{
"query": "We all know ladies look for trash cans in the bathrooms and sheets that aren’t indicative of a 10-year-old, but what are some things you’d like to see in HER house or apartment?\nWhat kinds of green flags would you like to see in a woman’s place?",
"chosen": "A pool table.\n",
"rejected": "A little bit of a mess at least. A sterile extremely organized neat place would probably mean we wouldn't do well in the long run. \nAny signs of a hobby especially sports. \nA dog or dogs. \nKinda realized that I'm just describing what I saw when I came over my SO's apartment for the first time.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm asking this question because I'm straight and don't really get it why it's so popular since I don't share this sentiment.\nStraight guys, why is lesbian porn so popular among heterosexual men?",
"chosen": "There’s really no mystery: women are attractive.\n",
"rejected": "Why are two slices of pizza better than one? Why are two scoops of ice cream better than one? Why does posi-traction on a plymouth work? It just does\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm an American living in Europe and have been somewhat taken aback by the cultural differences when dating. In the US, I often spend time wondering whether the guy likes me or not, if we're exclusive, if we're \"official\" or not, and so on. Whereas here, once you hook up with a friend, they're your SO.\nHave you ever had to deal with cultural differences when dating and what was it like?",
"chosen": "I moved from the UK to Northern Europe and dating here has been much more pleasurable. Mainly because there seems to be no stigma about women doing the asking here, and no arbitrary rules about how many dates you have to wait before you sleep with someone or how many \"proper dates\" you have to go on before you get to the fun part of lying around watching movies and having sex. (Definitely not implying that everybody has these rules or follows them in the UK, they just seem to be a bit more prevalent).\n\nI would agree that people here are far more upfront in letting you know how they feel about a relationship. Not really something I've had to \"deal with\", because I much prefer it this way. The upfrontoness does mean that there is a less \"softly softly\" approach to telling someone what you don't like about them, which was a bit jarring until I got used to it.\n",
"rejected": "Briefly dated a Mexican girl. Her family was pretty great, but the get-togethers were overwhelming. A small gathering with just the nuclear family and cousins could easily be 100+ people. But it was nice how they could be friends with their family - my cousins were always just strangers I saw at Christmas.\n"
},
{
"query": "I FIRMLY believe that cake is inferior to cupcakes. I can and will fight about this.\nDudes, what arbitrary thing do you have an extremely strong opinion on?",
"chosen": "My hatred of Chocolate Chip, Cinnamon Sugar, Rainbow, and Funfetti Bagels. Bagels should be savory, that's what sets them apart.\n\nWHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE; Bagels are meant to be savory! Chocolate chip bagels, rainbow bagels, even blueberry bagels are pushing it. Go eat a fucking donut you lunatic. It's probably less calories anyway. FUCK!\n",
"rejected": "THEY WERE ON A BREAK!\n"
},
{
"query": "It's not too often that I dress in a certain way to impress a guy but I find it interesting and sometimes helpful to know what guys aren't into lately and why?\nWhat are some current women's styles/trends that you can't stand?",
"chosen": "Bald heads.\n\nIm just not a fan.\n",
"rejected": "Nose, cheek, eyebrow, tongue, bellybutton, nipple or clit piercings. \n\nTattoos. \n\nLet me be clear. It's your body, you want them you go right ahead and be you. We'll still be friends. \n\nI just find them incredibly off putting and unattractive.\n"
},
{
"query": "Hello all! I consider myself a feminist and a MRA (ally? I don't know what you call it if your a girl who is a MRA) and I have always wondered why these two groups have such distaste for each other. If you do dislike feminism, please explain why.\nAre you a MRA? If so, do you dislike feminism?",
"chosen": "Not an MRA but I do agree with several of their points, the issues I have with feminism aren't with the egalitarian principles but with the cultish culture that it has developed.\n\nSeveral aspects as seen as beyond questioning (patriarchy, that women are always the oppressed class, etc.) and to even question these tenets is considered an act of misogyny in the eyes of the collectives.\n\nI also dislike it's expansionary and colonial behaviour, feminist groups attempt to take control of other non gender issues and then reframe them from a feminist perspective while I fell that it is gender issues that should be taken and reframed from a egalitarian/humanist perspective.\n\nTL;DR: Feminist groups were a useful but imperfect tool in dealing with a social issue but are sorely outdated and need to concede all ground to more soundly developed egalitarian groups.\n",
"rejected": "MRAs and 3rd wave feminists are two sides of the same coin, in my opinion.\n\nBoth have some valid arguments, but the ones that speak the loudest are radical, and very whiny.\n"
},
{
"query": "I had two and another half of a chipotle burrito to see if i could do it. I did it but felt like crud for like two days. I would not recommend.\nMen: Whats the most you have eaten in one sitting, what did you eat, and how did you feel afterwards?",
"chosen": "I ate 77 wings at an all you can eat night at a local restaurant. I went with some football teammates. What started out as a regular bash night turned into an impromptu offense vs defense competition. We called it a draw at 77. He went outside and threw up. I considered myself victorious.\n",
"rejected": "Like...on an lazy boy? Or a restaurant booth?\n"
},
{
"query": "I feel like everyone in my life kind of forgets about me unless I reach out to them. If I don’t reach out to them it could be weeks, or months before i’d even hear from them. Some people I just gave up on because it is exhausting. What would you do in my position?\nHow do you deal with people not talking to you unless you contact them first?",
"chosen": "This is just part of finding your true social circle. Honestly, 3-4 good friends is all most people can realistically entertain deeply intimate relationships with, at least in my mind. I am very extroverted in person, but I couldn't keep up that with a plethora.\n",
"rejected": "I recognize that life gets more complicated as you get older. We all end up with more responsibilities and have less time for friends. It's not so much if they don't reach out to me, it's what happens when I reach out or vice versa. Do we end up talking or getting together right away? Do we say we want to make plans that never materialize? \n\nAs you get older I've made it more about the quality and depth of interactions versus the quantity and try not to keep a scorecard of who's reaching out, because I know for a fact I'm bad about it too.\n"
}
] | 9
|
{
"logprob1": -7.152557373046875e-7,
"logprob2": -6.25,
"signal": 6.249999284744263
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00014019012451171875,
"logprob2": -9.75,
"signal": 9.749859809875488
}
| 3.499861
| 3
|
10809
|
[
{
"query": "Starting second year of uni soon and I am living with 6 other girls with me being the only guy. Feeling a bit worried that I'm going to end up feeling isolated and excluded and really miss male company. Any advice?\nMen of reddit who've been the only guy in an all girls house, how did you cope?",
"chosen": "Oof. This sounds so amazing on paper but it's the complete opposite irl. Gl using your dirty af bathroom. Hope you have your shots.\n",
"rejected": "I hid my own toilet paper in my room.\n\nI used the shower and bathroom at the gym... seen way too many horror shows in the bathroom after a gal decides to have period shits.. shower for an hour then \"forget\" to flush and leave for work.\n\nLived with 3 girls in university. Never again. Horror show after horror show and then there's all the \"she said.. like he said..like she said.. like he said.. like she said.. like she said..like omg.. then she like said\"\n"
},
{
"query": "Fiancee and I got into a little conversation about our sex life and whether we do it more or less than the average couple in a year. We estimate to have had sex at least 100 times in the past year. We have been together for 11 years. We're just wondering what the average is to have something to compare to out of sheer curiosity. Any insights?\nThose in long term relationships, how often do you have sex?",
"chosen": "no idea about years but we have sex about 3 times a week due to her being in university and not having much time.\n",
"rejected": "Been with her for 13 years, married 4. I'm lucky if I get laid once every couple months. A blowjob is but a distant memory. \n\nYearly numbers.....maybe 10 times a year, but if the planets align properly throughout the year and my advances aren't shot down.\n\n😕\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm turning 19 and have been doing this since I was a kid. My fingers look terrible.\nMen who had a nail-biting habit, how did you overcome it?",
"chosen": "One day I got fed up with it and just decided to stop.\n\nTook three weeks before it became natural not to bite them and I had to put quite a bit of effort into forcing myself not to, to be always vigilant, but was worth it.\n\nNow I have the opposite problem, sometimes I have my nails grow so much my female friends comment on it!\n\nBefore that I tried to stop for years. I tried everything and nothing worked because I never put real effort into it. I expected some miracle way to make myself stop, but there's no other way than to make the decision and stick with it despite all temptations.\n",
"rejected": "I was eating ice cream and chipped a tooth. Once i realized how it happened the fear has kept me from doing it ever since.\n"
},
{
"query": "you know how girls care a lot about a guy they like to be treating their friends well and getting along well with their girlfriends, and they get excited when their friends tell them they like the guy.\n\ndo guys care about this? if a girl you like gets along with your buddies and they like the girl, is this necessarily a plus for you? Do you care about the opinions that your friends have about the girl?\nguys do you value when a girl gets along with your buddies?",
"chosen": "Well of course. I'd have a very hard time being with someone that couldn't stand being around my friends and vice-versa.\n",
"rejected": "No! I hate it when they get along, because then I have to worry about her sleeping with them.\n\n/s\n"
},
{
"query": "It's a whole different world. I have been out of the dating game for a long time, the bar scene is not really me so I decided to join online dating. I have been on for a week and have zero clue on what I am doing.\n\nI have surprisingly had three women ask to go meet up, I have only asked one and I don't think she is ready.\n\nI am taking my damn sweet time, but the only females that want to go out are honestly not my body type. They are *cute* and all and maybe I am being a bit shallow - but being a 130 pound dude, I am just not attracted to the larger ladies. Am I wrong to be a little picky? I am here to meet someone to get romantic with, not to meet nice friends...\nMen who have tried online dating...",
"chosen": "I met my girlfriend on OKCupid. We've been dating for a little under two years now. What I liked about online dating is that it allowed me to be as picky as I wanted.\n",
"rejected": "I actually set up an okcupid account a few days ago. I sent out about 15 messages, got two responses, they didn't go anywhere; it's been uneventful. \n\nYes, I sent the messages to attractive girls, but I'm a pretty attractive dude. I'm 6'4\" ~210lbs. muscular, and decent enough looking. I've gone on dates with girls both more and less attractive than the girls I messaged, yet it's not gone anywhere. I think it's a mixture of 1) not having any real decent pictures of me (I've been steadily loosing weight and getting more muscular over a few years), and partially because they can simply go find some more attractive guy with the click of a mouse. Kind of frustrating, but not the end of the world. Guess I'll just go back to trying to get numbers at bars.\n\nI'm going to leave my profile up for a few more days and see if I get any more responses, but I'll probably end up deleting the thing by the end of the week.\n"
},
{
"query": "No judgement here. I'm just curious how well sex ed and/or life has taught men from different walks of life about this aspect of female biology.\nWithout Wiki'ing it, what do the men of reddit know/think is true about the menstrual cycle?",
"chosen": "Follice stimulating hormone (which I believe is secreted by the pituitary gland) causes the maturation of an egg as well as causing the ovaries to start secreting Oestrogen. The release of Oestrogen causes FSH production to halt, whilst increasing the production of Lutenising Hormone (Also in the pituitary gland). Lutenising Hormone causes the mature egg to be released from the follicle, leaving behind a remnant, which develops into the yellow body, which begins to secrete Progesterone. Progesterone is responsible for maintaing the lining of the uterine wall, whilst reducing the production of LH and FSH. If the egg isn't fertilised then the yellow body eventually decays and Progesterone production ceases. Causing the uterine wall to break down, resulting in a period. \n\nI wasn't taught this in any kind of lesson, just natural curiosity on my part (which may result in some bits being wrong).\n",
"rejected": "I don't really know that much. I know it is the body letting eggs go and something about linings. I'm pretty happy to stay ignorant on this subject until maybe I have a daughter. I just know that when I have a gf, I usually install an app so that I know when to be careful. Also, my last gf was fine with me mentioning that she was being so emotional, but I think that is fairly rare.\n"
},
{
"query": "Mine isn’t that hard to explain. We all know those bouncers in nightclubs you see in cartoons or comedies or whatever. You know, big, burly, broad-shouldered black guy that looks *mean*. Then they speak and for whatever reason their voice sounds like a dogs squeaky toy and are sometimes stupidly soft spoken, and happens to be a an emotional hugger with a heart of gold? or something along those lines... \n\nYeah, I’m afraid to say I embody exactly this and my voice never caught the drift that I went through puberty. Definitely a hugger not a fighter. My application to be the baddest guy to step onto the football field was apparently rejected and here I am, a big ass guy who likes cats, writing music, hates violence and prefers to talk it out instead of fighting (black Buddha as a friend once told me in high school) . Gotta say though, I’m fine with this.\nDo you happen to fulfill a stereotype or trope in anyway? If you do, what is it?",
"chosen": "The girl everybody underestimates because she likes pink and wearing skirts and heels on a daily basis. Ugh.\n",
"rejected": "I wear a lot of plaide shirts, like indie music, play piano/guitar/uke, like hanging out in cafes, do not drink alcohol/do drugs and wear beanies/hats.\n\nHelp! Am I turning Hipster?\n"
},
{
"query": "What are some of your biggest sexual fantasies? Do all guys have the \"dirty school girl\" fantasy? Or the girl on girl?\nGuys what are some of your biggest fantasies?",
"chosen": "Carefully hidden public stuff- to do things in plain sight and not be noticed.\n\nSadly this is something my SO is totally not OK with.\n",
"rejected": "Never working in a cubicle again... ever.\n\nAnd then going on a series of adventure like Indiana Jones or if we can swing the space travel by then, Han Solo.\n\nI also always wanted to be a bounty hunter or contract killer for the mob. That would be sweet.\n\nBut mostly never working in a cubicle.\n"
},
{
"query": "Just curious because my boyfriend is rather keen to get it on and, I (female, by the way), have a rather low libido. I usually give in once or twice a week but he seems to want to have sex every day.\nHow often do you want/have sex and how old are you?",
"chosen": "19, single, virgin.\n\nI WANT to have sex every day - but not in a \"God I just want to get my rocks off right now\" way (well, that happens but) in a \"I want to have someone who likes me enough to let me inside them\" sort of quasi-emotional way. I want a monogamous partner who is crazy about me and wants to jump my bones all day.\n\nIn the meantime, I can satisfy my own sex drive.\n",
"rejected": "32 year old male. Good health, good diet, I regularly hike 8 to 15 miles a weekend or cycle 3 to 4 times that if I'm not hiking. \n\nI have an extremely low, virtually nonexistent sex drive. I'll have an actual desire to have sex maybe once or twice a year. I have not had sex in maybe 10 or 11 years. My life is happy and I'm very content.\n"
},
{
"query": "When i was growing up, I was told to have a firm handshake. I really tried, But it seemed like older men knew this also, and they would squeeze my hand in a way where i had no chance to get a proper grip. After years of limp wristed handshakes, I decided \"From this point on, Ima really get in there and get that first squeeze in and not allow them to incapacitate my hand\"\n\nSo, Nowadays when im going in for a handshake, i make sure to make the first squeeze, So my handshake wont be ruined.\n\nAny stories you guys would like to share?\nTell me about your handshake experiences.",
"chosen": "I was at a concert once and this guy was hitting on my girlfriend pretty aggressively while I was at the bar. I'm not a confrontational guy at all so when I got our drinks I handed hers to her and then introduced myself to the guy, looked him in the eye, and gave him a really firm handshake. He got the idea, and I got one of the very few badass moments in my life.\n",
"rejected": "Who even thinks about this stuff?! It's just a fucking handshake, I do it and 5 seconds later it's forgotten about.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm about to start a graduate job soon and it will be a considerable jump in pay compared to what I am used to... It's making me nervous about if I am really worth the salary. Is there anyone out there who feels they get paid more than they should? And to graduates, do you think most people could do your job? Thanks\nHow much do you earn and do you think you deserve that amount?",
"chosen": "I make 50k a year and my company covers all my living expenses. 99.9% of the world wouldn't do what I do though so I feel I deserve it\n",
"rejected": "I make 40,000 USD before tax. Take home about 27,000 USD.\n\nI am a frontline response Constable in New Zealand.\n\nI should earn far more. Like.... Double.\n"
},
{
"query": "A little background:\n\nMy Girlfriend is out of town, and my buddy offered to go with me. It is a work party at a fancy restaurant, banquet style, probably 8 to a table. No dancing required. Would it look weird to show up with another guy, as a guy myself, or would it be better to go solo?\nWhat are your thoughts of bringing a male friend to a work Christmas Party?",
"chosen": "the +1 is for dates. most would find it odd to bring a friend, some might find it an abuse of the invitation.\n",
"rejected": "I never bring friends/SO to work parties. They don't know anyone there and they are usually bored/uncomfortable.\n"
},
{
"query": "I own a VERY small fitness apparel company that is moderately successful (in the fact that we are self-sustaining and don't need to keep dumping money in).\n\nWomen make up about 99% of our customer base -- our shirts are fitness-themed, and they are VERY high quality at $20 (which compared to our competitors, is a lower price point).\n\nMy problem (and question) is that men don't buy sh*t, and I can't figure out why. They are good shirts, at a good price -- yet sales are almost null in that department.\n\nSo, men, why is this?\n\n\n**After almost 100 comments, I want to say THANK YOU! And I also want to throw in the loop...hats. Do you wear one? Would you buy one? Etc.**\nTried to post this in r/fitness and was told to post here -- What will make you buy ~$20 fitness shirts?",
"chosen": "That doesn't seem unreasonable, if you are providing dri-fit etc. For gym though, I'll wear any t-shirt really, it's in the AC. It's only when I play sports outside that I need to be able to effectively control body temp, how much I sweat etc.\n",
"rejected": "I do like wearing fitness shirts because I like the way performance fabric reacts to getting sweaty better, and I like sleeveless shirts for exercise. However, my collection of them is pretty much from stumbling across them at target on sale or clearance. I really don't care what they look like, as long as they don't look dumb or have a big logo on them (I hate paying to advertise for people), but aside from that, it's just functional for me.\n"
}
] | 7
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000009059906005859375,
"logprob2": -9.25,
"signal": 9.249990940093994
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000335693359375,
"logprob2": -4.25,
"signal": 4.249664306640625
}
| -5.000327
| 5
|
126847
|
[
{
"query": "Is there a specific item you're looking for and can't find? Want to help fellow FFAers in their search for x? This is the thread to do it in!\n\nIf you're asking for help, please also try and answer others' requests! This only works if we all help out.\nFind Fashion Friday - November 04, 2016",
"chosen": "Lord, all I want for Christmas this year is a pair of high waisted VELVET trousers in my size (UK16) that won´t look like something my mother worn in mid 80s. Help???\n",
"rejected": "Headed to Paris for Christmas and would like to get a warm, classic coat in a neutral color for the trip. Does anyone have recommendations < $150?\n"
},
{
"query": "Just a thought I had while I was reading a post today about some offline sexist encounter: do other Asian girl gamers experience much sexism while gaming or in game stores? Reason I bring this up is 'cause I haven't (minus some eye-rolling but infrequent and harmless flirting in old Guild Wars). I always figured I was on the lucky end of encounters and felt bad for other chicas who weren't, but now I'm wondering if it may be because I got some other stereotype slapped on me (\"Oh, she's Asian? Well yeah she can totally play video games\"), though one I'm not sure is even popular or ever relevant to be honest.\nQuestion to other Asian girl gamers",
"chosen": "I'm half japanese so usually people just come up to me and say \"what are you?\" and then I tell i'm I'm happa. I live in the mid west so they don't understand this shit. \n\nThey ask me about japanese culture and I'm like \"I don't fucking speak japanese and I've only been there 3 times\". They then try to say anime phrases to me after I say I don't speak japanese. I then respond by asking if they want to ask me if I speak celtic too because I'm half scottish. And it's always guys. Women never do this. And asian women just are like \"oh she's happa\" and move on.\n\nThe only people who are condescending about my lack of trivial knowledge in japanese culture are non asian men. I've even been told to \"stop calling yourself japanese\" and this just pisses me off. \n\nI have a\"double eyes\" which is actually a common trait for Japanese women. I have the exact same facial features as my mother, I just avoid getting tan because of skin cancer worries so my skin is very light. But because a bunch of anime watching assholes have an idea in their head that all asian women have a certain type of eyes, I don't look asian at all. But when other asian people see me, they always can tell that I'm happa. \n\nThe whole thing just gives me an identity crisis every fucking time because a bunch of non asian assholes try to tell me they know more about japanese culture than me. Congratulations you watch too much anime and have no appreciation for your own heritage, so you steal mine. \n\nI came out of a japanese vagina, there is no plane of existence where knowing a lot about japan will make a non japanese person more japanese than me. My family didn't get stuck in camps and have their only relatives in japan die in Hiroshima so a few generations later a bunch of non japanese people could steal the heritage that they were afraid to embrace. \n\n\n\n**Sorry for the rant. I just hate anime bros.**\n",
"rejected": "My best friend is Korean and even though she likes Starcraft, she gets a bit self-conscious about her skills because people seem to assume that all Koreans are born with a high APM. :\\\n\nShe already encounters a lot of people commenting that her English is good (yeah, maybe because she grew up in Oregon?). But then we started going to cons and suddenly she had to deal with strangers calling her \"kawaii\" as well. The things people are willing to say to complete strangers, geez... *shakes head*\n"
},
{
"query": "I’m a guy and I’ve been seeing this Transguy for about a month now and he’s been getting more and more sexually aggressive towards me because I don’t want to have any sex until I get to know someone a lot better, my days of cruising and Grindr hookups are long past and left me not wanting sex. \n\nBut he’s been agitating more and more to have sex and has started forcibly kissing me and grabbing my crotch, I tell him no and he stops so he hasn’t done anything rapey. But it just keeps escalating and I don’t know how to tell him I just don’t want to have sex with him, not because he’s trans but just because I don’t want to with anyone right now. How do I tell him?\n\nTL;DR My FTM bf really wants sex but I don’t\n(Throwaway Account) An FTM guy I’ve been seeing has started to get really sexually aggressive and I don’t know how to tell him no.",
"chosen": "\"Hey! It seems like we both have different kind of views on this relationship, but no is no. This isn't going to work out if you wont care about my boundaries.\"\n\nRe; basically you would treat him as any other person who would attack your boundaries.\n",
"rejected": "Sorry if this seems like an obvious question, but does he know any of this? Like have you guys talked about how you feel about sex, or that you're wanting to wait? Because if not, it's probably worth sitting down to talk and telling him. Otherwise he may not know (not that it's ok to push anyway, but).\n"
},
{
"query": "Anyone else having this problem? Doing my best not to panic. I'm not having much luck finding info online.\nMy pharmacist just told me that my injectable Estradiol valerate has been discontinued by the manufacturer",
"chosen": "try switching to a different concentration. I've had no problem getting the perrigo 40mg/ml generic.\n",
"rejected": "I've been reading about shortages of injectable estradiol valerate for a couple of years now. One thing said to ask about switching to estradiol cypionate, as it does the same thing (dosage may be a bit different tho) and is more readily available.\n"
},
{
"query": "This thread is for simple style questions that you may have, especially those that don't warrant their own thread. We all want a diversified opinion, so feel free to answer any questions (of which you know the answer).\n\nExample questions: What are your favorite black boots <$250? What should I wear on a date? Are there any good white t-shirts?\nSimple Questions - May 18, 2017",
"chosen": "Has anyone purchased Outdoor Voices leggings? What do you think about the fit and length? Are they very true to their measurement sizes? Comfortable?\n",
"rejected": "I'm going to a wedding in Texas in mid-June and am a bit confused by the dress code and invite. The wedding is at 3pm in a Catholic church, but the reception isn't until 7pm and the dress code is formal. Would it be appropriate to wear 2 different dresses then? Formal to a church seems...odd.\n\nAlso, the bride is of Mexican descent and I'm not sure how that may/may not affect the ceremony. I'm used to Irish Catholic or nondenominational weddings.\n"
},
{
"query": "I think that we'll hold them twice a month for now. If there's a lot of participation, we'll increase them to once a week. \n\nThe old rules still apply:\n\n\nRules\n---\n\nThe “winner” will be selected by committee based on the following criteria:\n\n1. How closely it caters to our personal interests. Anything J. Crew will, of course, instantly capture the password/faux vote.\n1. Inventiveness\n1. Something else totally subjective\n1. A random die roll\n1. Phase of moon\n\nThose 5 will be combined into a composite score and then thrown away. As with “Whose Line Is it Anyway?” the rules are made up and the points don’t matter. Go out and have fun!\n\nIf you have a theme you'd like to see featured in a contest, feel free to post them below!\nTheme contests are back!",
"chosen": "I think it would be fun to do challenges based on common questions we get here (like the wedding challenge last time?). We could do a meet the boyfriend/girlfriend/SO's parent's for dinner, New Year's Party Outfit (I know I won't be going out..but it'd be fun to pretend!), Christmas present opening outfit, outfits that would be related to a specific profession (like working in a lab, working at a daycare, working as a CEO, working at a fashion magazine...). I'm really excited for these to come back! I hope I can participate this time!\n",
"rejected": "Ooh also- is the voting committee mods or just whoever's on IRC at the time? Or... can I apply :D\n"
},
{
"query": "Guys, it’s so fun. I’m a giant ball of clinical anxiety and even I enjoyed it. I only ever had 1 view at a time but dude, I’m so happy and proud of myself. 😭\nI just streamed for the first time!",
"chosen": "Awesome! I’m so happy for you. I want to stream also but I’m a bad gamer. I don’t think people want to watch me die all the time lol\n",
"rejected": "I started streaming a few nights a week a couple months ago and so far, it's been ok. I've gotten a couple of comments that I felt went too far, but otherwise no issues. It honestly is so much easier to interact with people in chat than to just fill any silence with talking. I do a gaming channel that is 100% just for fun; my gaming skills are mediocre at best :) . Point of all this: Keep going, have fun and don't stress if you aren't the next big thing!\n"
},
{
"query": "My psych professor gave me this beautiful gem last week. \n\n\"It's not my business what you do with your personal life.\"\n\nI'm not trying to make it his personal business in asking him to respect my pronouns, what the actual fuck?\n\nAnyway, what are some of the more creative reasons that you've been given for not having your pronouns respected?\nWhat are some bullshit reasons people have given for not respecting your pronouns?",
"chosen": "Had an english professor tell me she has never once even heard of the word 'they' in modern times and that it is archaic and old-fashioned. Surprisingly she wasn't that good of a teacher, either, who woulda guessed\n",
"rejected": "On my using they/them:\n\"I speak English, not tumblrish\".\nWhat a beautiful human being that was. Luckily the threat of head office intervening on my behalf stopped that quickly.\n"
},
{
"query": "And I could CRY it's so beautiful and amazing. I've barely scratched the surface on this game and I'm obsessed. Ocarina of Time was my favorite forever, it couldn't be touched. But this... O\\_O \n\n\nI'm just shocked by the game and I can't believe I haven't played it until now. I'm playing it AS SLOWLY as possible to savor it all lol. \n\n\nAlso , this is one of my first posts, I think?? I can't remember. It's been so long since I signed up and/or looked at this thing. I hope I'm doing all this right. \n\n\nSo... HI!!!\nI finally got a Switch... AND BOTW...",
"chosen": "Literally the only reason why I want a switch. But I wanna play it so bad\n",
"rejected": "It's so good!! I have about 150 hrs in it and no where close to being finished. There is so much to explore and do! I love just running around the map and doing whatever. Enjoy!!\n"
}
] | 4
|
{
"logprob1": -8.344650268554688e-7,
"logprob2": -6,
"signal": 5.999999165534973
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0002040863037109375,
"logprob2": -8.25,
"signal": 8.249795913696289
}
| 2.249797
| 4
|
5713
|
[
{
"query": "Do we men have any other interests? Are we good for anything else that make us \"men\"? C'mon guys.....I'm scrolling down the posts and it seems everyone here is ruled by that little guy in our pants.\nWhy are all the AskMen questions about women and sex?",
"chosen": "lol that’s funny this is the first one I’ve seen that’s referencing sex today, that said an interest in sex doesn’t make someone a man, it’s make someone human. This is just a place for people to ask men questions so if they wanna ask about sex cool if they wanna ask about something else even more cool, we can’t really tell people what they wanna talk about imo.\n",
"rejected": "Agree it seems that many of the questions are about women, dating or sex. But IMO those are topics that all men struggle with regardless of age. And the “ask women” subs seem like it’s women talking to women...guys questions are deleted by mods of not replied to. There are a lot of men trying to figure out the opposite sex, and this is an anonymous platform where they can seek advice. Again, Just my two cents.\n"
},
{
"query": "Thanks for the upvotes but it would be more awesome if you guys leave a comment. :)\nWhat sexy surprises did your significant other absolutely love? [copied from AskWomen]",
"chosen": "Touching his taint/the backside of his balls. Full body shivers, aww yiss. Surprise, motherfucker!\n",
"rejected": "Vaginal orgasms. They were apparently really really rare for her.\n"
},
{
"query": "I am 30 now and find myself thinking that there has to be more to life than this daily repetition and the societal treadmill. I feel so dang stuck.\n\nI am currently a nurse and live in an apartment in the city. 5 days a week I go to work, get a workout in at the gym afterwards, go home and eat dinner, then sit on the couch and wonder what else to do. I have a girlfriend. Hang with friends every couple weeks. Try to travel every couple months. \n\nBut yet, every day feels the same. This process of work, gym, sleep, repeat until the day I die just seems so incredibly mundane and depressing. Especially after cutting back on drinking alcohol. I’m not finding meaning in any of it. Wondering what those of you who have experienced this have done to find meaning and/or happiness? I want to be a happy and vibrant person that is happy with life, but I am struggling to get there.\nMen, what has helped you to find meaning/happiness in life?",
"chosen": "I was raised to be religious and I thought I “found God.” When I was 14, I licked pussy for the first time. I realized that god isn’t in Heaven - she’s between a lady’s thighs. I committed to kneeling to “god” ever since then. Whatever happens, pussy will always taste amazing.\n",
"rejected": "Build something. Find purpose. Create. Do more things you love\n"
},
{
"query": "These days it seems like the topic of discussing tv shows is pretty much unavoidable. I feel a bit left out when this happens in social situations, but not interested enough to be bothered with actually watching something. I usually just keep quiet when/if it comes up, and don't volunteer the information unless pressed.\nMen in your 20s, do any of you not follow a single show? How does it go for you in social settings?",
"chosen": "32, and yeah, it's a problem. I kind of fell out of the habit of watching TV when I was in college and didn't have one.\n\nI watch some sporting events and movies and Netflix, but if you ask me about the latest episode of The Big Bang Theory or Game of Thrones or Mad Men or something, I haven't seen it. And, for those shows, I haven't seen the old ones either.\n\nI'm not pretentious about it, or I try not to be. But it's hard to say \"Oh, I don't watch television\" without sounding like \"Television is for common people.\" I mean, I don't think I'm better than anyone for not playing television. I mostly play video games instead. That's hardly high brow entertainment.\n",
"rejected": "I watch a lot of TV, but don't particularly like talking about it with others (unless we're watching together, though I prefer to watch alone- when you have company there are better things to do).\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm 31F, recently ended a 2.5 year relationship. \n\nI know that if I want to do the husband and kids thing, I should probably stop messing around. But at the same time, really I just want a healthy relationship with someone I connect with to do cool things with. \n\nI've gotten some good advice from friends, but I'd love to hear what Reddit has to say about it.\nWhat can a woman in her 30s do to be marriage material?",
"chosen": "I'm sure I'll get down-voted, but here goes... Start paying more attention to the not-so-good-looking guys you see. If they're still single in their 30s, they are probably a lot more interested in a real relationship. Women are almost as bad as men at tending to judge potential dates by their looks, so good-looking men don't have to worry much about it.\n",
"rejected": "Don't have kids, weigh less than 150 pounds, and don't look borderline disfigured. That'll put you in the top 10% of 30 year old women.\n"
},
{
"query": "I mean she's never asked me that before, is this a normal thing for boyfriends to do? I'm scared.\nMy girlfriend has asked me to wax her asshole, what do I do men?",
"chosen": "How about waxing her asshole?\n",
"rejected": "If it was me, I'd book her an appointment wherever they take care of that kind of thing.. Leave that shit to the professionals, I would probably fuck it up somehow\n"
},
{
"query": "Mine: I dress casually - t-shirts and gym shorts when I'm out in public, and pajamas at home. I despise being formal and will only do so when necessary for work. Idgaf if that makes me less datable, it's important for me to be comfortable with what I wear.\nWhat's an unattractive personality trait you have that you refuse to change to become more dateable?",
"chosen": "I have a dry sense of humor that few can really get on board with without knowing me for a bit, and women seem to have a particularly hard time with this. It confuses a lot of people and can sometimes make me seem like an idiot or an asshole, but I think it is a big part of who I am and don't want to change it.\n",
"rejected": "Generally I don't leave my house unless its to go to school or the gym.\n\nIts not really that I don't want to change it, its more that I don't know how to change it.\n"
},
{
"query": "Like in your eyes she's the most beautiful thing in the world, and other guys are just like \"meh\"\nYou ever been super attracted to a girl that , not that many other guys also found attractive?",
"chosen": "I often find myself attracted to girls that are a bit quirky in appearance, I suppose I like 'cute' girls more than what's popular. I like girls with a 'look' as it were. For instance, I don't think Megan Fox is hot. I mean she is, technically, but I can't picture her in my head. I just see an average Maxim Magazine girl, they're interchangeable. Another example, I liked the mechanic girl from Firefly way more than the companion/escort girl who was \"supposed\" to be hot. Also really attracted to Amy Poehler. I don't have a type per se, but a lot of times a friend will see a girl and be all \"she's so hot\", and I'm thinking she looks like a bitch face stripper.\n",
"rejected": "There's a girl at my gym who can really pump iron. She's in what looks like her late twenties, but looks like she has been bodybuilding her whole life. She's always there everyday, lifting and getting bigger and bigger, and she's always wearing tight shorts and a sports bra that looks like it can tear off her massive chest at any moment. I think she's so beautiful and her incredible strength and muscles drive me crazy. And when she flexes in the mirror! Oh LAWD! But my friends think she is very intimidating and scary.\n"
},
{
"query": "I have a friend who cries from just about any disney movie. Yes he's a guy. Clearly he cries more than the norm.\n\nBut how many times have you guys cried from watching a movie?\nI know there have been a lot of \"how often do you cry?\" questions. But what about from movies?",
"chosen": "Pretty often. Never outright sobbing but tears and being choked up. \n\nLast night I was watching a movie where the protagonist dies from a drug overdose, his friend finds him on the ground and he chokes up, he says \"only posers die, you're not a poser\". \n\nCouldn't stop how I felt, didn't try to.\n",
"rejected": "I cried at the end of Futurama's Jurassic Bark episode, and I won't ever try to deny it.\nThe last movie that did it was Bicentennial man. Something about the existentialism and finding your place in life was just right.\n"
},
{
"query": "So we're watching Californication last night, and Charlie Runkle at some point says he's getting a \"shame boner\", and my wife asks me if that's really a thing. So I say yeah, guys can get boners for all sorts of reasons. Then this morning over on r/sex there's a thread about a guy who gets \"love boners\".\n\nSo it's got me thinking, what are the various kinds of boners that guys experience?\nMen, let's talk about varieties of boners",
"chosen": "\"I just had sex\" boner: You've already splooged and he's like \"Go again?\" and you're like \"Fuck you, boner. You're going to slip away just as I get inside her. Stop trying to trick me.\"\n\nConsoling Boner: Gf's sobbing uncontrollably, maybe she wants to fuck...\n",
"rejected": "Fear boner!!!!!\n"
},
{
"query": "I was scrolling down one question about peeing when someone said \\`\\`there is a point between your balls and your anus where, if you press it, you will empty your bladder (because you always have a little amount of pee there after peeing)\n\nThat dude saved my life, hands down, my underwear smells quite better rn\nWhat is something r/askmen taught you are grateful for?",
"chosen": "you can make an erection go away by flexing every muscle for 30 seconds. first thing I do every day before I pee.\n",
"rejected": "it taught me to be grateful that my friends are mature, reasonable people, because there are a lot of men who aren't.\n"
},
{
"query": "I've been researching purchasing a car within the next year. I have no debts, still live at home, and have a job that pays above 60k. I'm still living at home to jump start my retirement savings and to build a large cash balance for a house down payment in the next 4-5 years. \n\nI've been shopping vehicles in the 25-30k range. My gf always seems to have a passive aggressive attitude towards me financing this amount for a vehicle. Meanwhile, she talks about engagement rings in the 10k range, which I think is ridiculous. \n\nWe've been together for a couple years, but we don't have any plans for marriage any time soon. She is planning to travel for work for a years time, so I feel there is no rush to wed. \n\nIs this a relationship/communication issue, or am I not seeing things correctly here?\nHow critical are you of your SO's spending?",
"chosen": "Unfortunately I can be pretty critical of her spending. But we are pretty early on, do not live together, do not share finances.\n\nWhat kind of car does she think you should buy? Why? Why are you looking in the 25-30k range? I make a bit less than you and got a great car for ~18k.\n\nYes, 10k for a ring seems a bit crazy but if your car is approaching luxury, then it seems you have some compromising to do.\n",
"rejected": "Not at all. My wife is the banker. I haven't paid a bill in almost a decade - she budgets and plans our spending (mostly of bills, but yeah) and takes care of most of that. She is unfailingly conservative. I had to go out and buy one of those pregnancy body pillows behind her back because she thought it was too expensive. It was like $60. \n\nShe has called me before to ask if it was okay if she spend as little has $20-$30. My answer 100% of the time is \"it's your money too hunny.\" We have a joint account and she makes good money. No idea. \n\nOnly downside is I am occasionally eye rolled for getting coffees a few times a week. Not about the cost really, but because she finds it annoying to put a couple bucks on her spreadsheet over and over.\n"
},
{
"query": "I've noticed that when it comes to dating and getting around, opposites seem to attract. My latino friends tend to do better with white women than with the typical latina while my white friends tend to have it much easier with latin women than white women. \n\nI even see it among whites for example, Mediterranean/swarthy women prefer blonde and lighter featured men (they go crazy for blue eyes) while blondes love a John Stamos lookalike or a darker featured white male like Jon Hamm. \n\nWhat has your experience been?\nMen who have dated or been around a bit, how do the types of girls that generally take a lot of interest in you look like compared to how you look like?",
"chosen": "I'm Arab and I tend to attract Russian, Serbian, Polish and Ukrainian women for some reason, also I'm white and don't look Arab at all, but they seem to like the fact that I'm Arab for some reason. Do I care? Nope.\n",
"rejected": "Who do I attract? No one especially, unless I really am missing all the signs.\n"
},
{
"query": "For me it's Nobuo Uematsu, without a doubt. Playing many of the video games he composed the music for as a kid (and even still now) so many of his pieces really evoke some strong nostalgic feelings from me, and his music is so beautifully composed and spectacular in general.\n\nAlso - there are so many! Hundreds! I don't think I'd ever get bored.\nYou can only listen to one band/artist/composer's music for the rest of your life. Who do you choose?",
"chosen": "Probably slipknot. They have a lot of songs I can relate to. If I want a softer song, I can just listen to to snuff or vermilion pt. 2. Then the rest is just to get me pumped.\n",
"rejected": "Miles Davis was had such a diverse career, I can't see why not to put him.\n"
}
] | 9
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000025153160095214844,
"logprob2": -8.75,
"signal": 8.749974846839905
}
|
{
"logprob1": -8.344650268554688e-7,
"logprob2": -5.875,
"signal": 5.874999165534973
}
| -2.874976
| 4
|
4229
|
[
{
"query": "Some background on me:\n\n I am 21 years old, going into my 7th semester of college, where I have not done that well in the past (1/2 the way done so far). I am going part time to school now and taking up a part time job because of this, but I have my tuition subsidized by my parents and some loans. I have received counseling on anxiety and executive functioning, but to no real avail.\n\nDespite this, I have had women in my life who were, somehow, attracted to me (I'm not awful looking and people enjoy my company enough). I always end up kind of just leaving it be because I don't feel like I am accomplished enough to date someone.\n\nShould I try to get over these feelings or am I being too harsh on myself?\nShould I not date until I have my shit together?",
"chosen": "Ok, bear in mind I'm speaking from the perspective of a 45 year-old, so this might not necessarily apply.\n\nSeems to me that everyone deserves love and/or companionship just because they are human. You don't have to be perfectly settled with all your life's complexity completely resolved in order to have a healthy relationship or to just casually date, for that matter.\n\nJust be honest with yourself about what you want and need and communicate that to whomever you choose to turn your attentions (if you opt to date at all).\n\nIf you have limited time because you need to study, let them know up front. They may have limited time as well, or perhaps be ok with only seeing you a couple of times a week. Just be honest and communicate openly.\n\nTL;DR - figure out what you want and need and communicate that honestly and openly if you choose to date.\n",
"rejected": "There was a thread a few weeks ago on who knows which sub where someone asked a similar question. Should you wait until your done with college, have a good stable job, are moved out, etcetera, to start dating?\n\nMotherfucker no. Dating is sort of a skill. Not in the way a PUA sees it, but it requires practice. At least I'd like to think so. If you wait too long you might have trouble putting yourself out there. It's just my opinion but I wouldn't do it.\n"
},
{
"query": "I've been seeing this guy for about ten months. It fizzled out because for me, it wasn't any fun - no common interests whatsoever. So I said \"I don't think we should see each other anymore.\" At first he said \"Okay.\" I thought it was done. Then he called and I didn't answer. He called several times and left messages. I finally answered and he started talking as if I never broke up with him. He started with \"I miss talking to you\" and then started chatting as if everything was the same as before. I felt annoyed and told him I don't think it's a good idea to continue spending time on the phone together. He asked me if I'd agree to see him if he wanted to give me a hundred dollars. I asked him if he was soliciting prostitution, and he said \"No.\" As a friend knowing that I'm having a little financial trouble, he just wanted to help out. I told him I didn't think it was fair to him. I appreciate the kindness, but I cannot accept his offer.\n\nSo, men ... got any ideas about this? I know it's all just supposition because nobody is in another person's head, but I'm wondering if you men can tell me what you think he was thinking? I felt kind of sorry for him, and realized that I can't continue spending time on the phone & in person out of pity. I think a clean break is the best scenario, considering that I've determined we have absolutely nothing in common. I ultimately felt like he was pestering me and I needed to shoo him away ... like an annoying fly. That's when I broke it off.\nWhen I said \"I don't think we should see each other anymore,\" he asked me if $100 would entice me to seeing him. WTF?!",
"chosen": "Possibility one is he's a creeper, possibility two is he's hoping that spending more time with him will change your mind and is just doing anything he can think of to make that happen. possibility three is that he's super awkward and doesn't really understand social interactions between people.\n",
"rejected": "I'm knid of hoping a post shows up in /r/askwomen from a guy asking how much money it would take to get them back together with an ex\n"
},
{
"query": "Assume you met through online dating and this is your first time meeting in person.\n\nI run into a lot of problems with awkwardness when dating, both on my side and on men's. I read that giving the guy a platonic hug at the start of the date can help reduce awkwardness by establishing (at least on my side) that touch and closeness are okay. My first thought after reading that was \"That makes a lot of sense, but it sure sounds creepy.\" Right now my thinking is that if it was the guy who asked for the date, I can feel safe assuming he likes me enough that he'd be happy if I hugged him, but I wouldn't feel safe assuming that if I was the one who initiated the date.\n\nSo, guys of /r/AskMen, what would you think of a girl who hugged you to introduce herself at the start of a first date? Would she seem creepy or desperate? Or might it make you think she was \"easy\" (please be honest on this one.)\n\nAlso, if you're from Toronto, could you please say so in your answer? I live in Toronto, and I've been told the dating culture here is unusually cold, so I'm especially interested in the opinions of guys from here. But definitely still interested in the opinions of guys from anywhere.\nHow would you feel if a girl opened a first date with a hug?",
"chosen": "I am not a huggy type person and would not initiate one but i wouldn't have an issue of a woman i just met did\n\nsome people just really like to hug and it never really bothered me\n",
"rejected": "I'd hug her back so I can feel her boobs against me.\n"
},
{
"query": "I've always wondered what the average is with most guys. I definitely know that I am in the extreme minority, as I'm 23 and I've only been with one women (my soon to be wife). So how many people have you been with?\nMen of Reddit, how many sexual partners have you had?",
"chosen": "0 so far and I'm 24.\n",
"rejected": "One. My wife. Zero regrets.\n"
},
{
"query": "Some people have really strange ideas about what is important when choosing a bf/gf.\n\nSeveral women I was on a date with were surprised I didn't care what kind of beer they drank or if they drank at all. How is this in any way important? Could these other guys only afford one case of beer at home and had to make sure a potential mate would drink the same stuff they liked?\n\nAnother guy said he stopped talking to a someone because she had never heard of a certain musician.\n\nWhat is the most trivial thing you have heard of for not wanting to date someone?\nWhat is the silliest reason you have heard for not dating someone?",
"chosen": "Women refusing to date men under 6'0. It's not a \"height preference\", it's shallow. It's also hypocritical since women shame men for being shallow about height\n",
"rejected": "I won't date any woman who gets seasick.\n"
},
{
"query": "I accidentally spilt some hot tea on a friend once. It was horrible, and he jumped up immediately, and rushed to get cold water. I felt really bad and apologized. :/ What about you?\nWhat is the worst thing you have done to another person?",
"chosen": "I broke my brother's arm and a leg. Two separate incidents.\n\nThe first time we were bouncing on a trampoline and he thought it would be a fun game to get underneath, push up with his feet on the bottom of the trampoline popping up in different places (who could see this going wrong?!?).\n\nAnyway after a while of my sister and I bouncing and trying to land on the humps, I finally managed to jump on a hump with all my weight. Sure enough my brother's leg snapped and he got carted off to a hospital.\n\nSecond time was when we were much order and were wrestling in our parent's bedroom. I pushed him and he landed on the bed and broke his wrist.\n\nI am a bad older brother :/\n",
"rejected": "Attempted murder. Luckily I failed, and he was pretty forgiving.\n"
},
{
"query": "Right now my wife is my dependent, and our relationship is amazing. I truly feel like I have a purpose and I love taking care of my wife. Not only do I take care of her, but she also takes care of me in other ways. I’m so happy I could die right now (not that I want to). \n\nI’ve wanted a wife since I was 18. I am now 27. It has been my dream to support my family with the fruits of my labor and to be the sole provider. I honestly thought it would never happen until I met my now wife.\n\nI figured that a woman would never agree to be a housewife nowadays, but I got lucky and found a gem. \n\nDo you think that this lifestyle is ideal for you and how so?\nHow do you guys feel about being the sole provider for your household?",
"chosen": "I’ve been the sole provider for my family for 25 years. It works wonderfully for us.\n\nMy wife is the engine for our life. I provide the fuel.\n",
"rejected": "If you don’t have kids she isn’t a gem, she’s a leech. Stay at home mom is a thing. Stay at home wife or girlfriend is just a piss take. And she’s probably fucking someone else while you’re at work.\n"
},
{
"query": "If you believe this saying, how do you visualize this working? Inquiring minds want to know!\nThere's the common idea that women can get laid whenever they want. Um, how? No really... how?",
"chosen": "I think it's better stated in a relative way than as an absolute: a woman at a certain level of attractiveness will almost always have an easier time finding casual sex than a man at a similar level of attractiveness. This means comparing an average man with an average woman, a below average woman with a below average man, or an above average man with an above average woman.\n\nAs for how you physically do it? Dating websites, bars/pubs/clubs, hookup apps like Tinder. In all of these places, women are more likely to be offered casual sex, and if they approach strangers for casual sex, they're more likely to succeed.\n\nWomen can make points about how their ability to find casual sex doesn't mean much if what they really want is a relationship, and that's very true. If you don't want causal sex for that (or another) reason then that's entirely fair. But I don't think that anyone can reasonably deny that women have an easier time finding sex.\n",
"rejected": "Shy awkward single women have mediocre options.\n\nShy awkward single men have no options.\n\nYou can't find someone you like for casual sex? I can't even find someone I don't like for casual sex!\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm 22 years old(m) and I'm wondering what should I try to focus on at this age? I'm working right now but I feel like I should be doing more\nWhat should I be focusing on my life at the age of 22?",
"chosen": "One idea — saving money. Like, save until it hurts and open an IRA or some other retirement plan.\n",
"rejected": "dancing, cocaine and hang gliding.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm curious and wanted to do a poll.... Why do you like to ejaculate on a woman? \nWhat do you get from it? \nWhat's your favourite body part to do it on?\nDo you like ejaculating on a woman?",
"chosen": "I much prefer to finish inside them, the level of intimacy is much higher.\n",
"rejected": "The last time I shot on a girl's face my ex looked like she had been beaten. Her eye was all blood shot and she could barely open it. I must have some salty-ass jizz.\n"
},
{
"query": "Currently I use Adidas Moves but i am looking to switch to something different, any suggestions?\nWhat does everyone use for cologne?",
"chosen": "Soap and unscented deodorant. Sharing this because it is a \"scent choice\" and not STFU to cologne wearers. \n\nI've had constant positive feedback from several women who got close enough to tell me how much they liked my \"clean\" smell. My partner will get close daily just to smell me. It makes her very happy.\n\nWhy this helps you OP: If you make sure you smell like clean OP after a shower you can then shop for many colognes and get great effect out of applying a tiny bit.\n\nCologne isn't mandatory but if you start with a clean base you can use it to add a flourish and reward for anyone you let close. Don't broadcast at a great range, reward those who are drawn in. \n\n...and you can have more than one to use sparingly for events as whim decides.\n",
"rejected": "Prada - Luna Rossa Sport\n\nAventus - Creed\n\nBleu De Chanel\n"
},
{
"query": "I had my last relationship 6 years back and have only been on one date since. I find it hard to believe that a man would want me (gay guy here). And I had a late start with sex too. It's all unfortunate. Hit me up with what y'all have gone through.\nMen who got a late start dating, how's that going for you?",
"chosen": "Not sure what you call a late start or not. I had my first kiss at 17. Girlfriend broke up with me at 18. Was still single and a virgin. After that I dated here and there but never got laid. Summer after freshman year of college I had a drunken one night stand with a friend and lost my virginity at 20. But then I went straight into not getting any. After that I would go out and occasionally fool around with women but they'd never want to go all the way. These were often women who were just drunk and having fun and not really interested in dating me. Which is ultimately what I wanted.\n\nDidn't have sex again for another year and a half at the age of 21. Since then I have had sex regularly. My confidence with women has improved a ton. Although having confidence around women doesn't really matter now because I am engaged.\n\nI have no idea if this is helpful. Probably not. I'm certainly not the worst case but there were certainly times where it seemed everyone else was dating/getting laid and I was certainly not. But it got better for me, and it has gotten better for others. I hope it gets better for you.\n",
"rejected": "Surprisingly well, actually. Background; fucked up childhood, emotional issues. Then therapy. Now 38 and catching up to everyone else, experience-wise.\n\nMore first dates in any month of the last year than my entire life before that point. Less second dates than I'd like but more than I'd ever hoped for before. More fooling around, too. I'd *prefer* to have dated 25 years ago instead of suffering abuse and buying the bullshit religious line my crazy parents fed me, but I am doing pretty well all things considered.\n\nAs a bonus, plenty of younger chicks still think fit older dudes are hot. So that's nice. Pretty sure that works for gay dudes too.\n"
},
{
"query": "I have (at least in my opinion) an awesome life. I am a professional skydiver (tandem instructor, video guy, teacher, etc.) and live a life according to that. I travel a lot, I have awesome friends, I see a lot of stuff that other people will never see in their whole life and alltogether it could not be more awesome. I think my life is pretty close to perfect. Except that one thing...\n\n\nI noticed that about 2 or 3 years ago (when I made some decisions that brought me where I am today) I started to attract women. Lots of them. Not that I want to complain about that, but the point is that I do not feel like they want to spent time with me for who I am but for the lifestyle I have. They want to get their part of my adventure, they want to tell their friends about the amazing stuff their \"boyfriend\" (this is normally a one sided view of the situation - I did never ever consider one of the girls I have been dating my SO) is doing and I usually start to feel like a trophy after some time which will ultimately result in me getting bored of and dumping or at least showing disinterest in them. I simply have problems with respecting somebody that does not contribute anything to a \"relationship\" except good looks and the lust for excitement.\n\n\nHas anybody ever experienced the same? Does this ever change or are you totally OK with that?\n\n\nP.S.: What \"lifestyle\" is for men, might be \"good looks\" for women... Correct me if you think I am wrong.\nDo you mind if women date you just for your lifestyle?",
"chosen": "As long as they don't mind if I bang 'em just for their body.\n",
"rejected": "I've played in bands for the past fifteen years or so. I can totally identify with what you're saying about being a \"trophy\" and kind of wanting in on your lifestyle - for me that would be turning up to gigs and being \"the singer's girlfriend\" and being able to tell other girls that. There's definitely a certain kind of girl that goes after band boys too.\n"
},
{
"query": "I know how there is a multitude of things to do to care for you face and other body parts. There are all the facial cleansers and creams, but are there stuff for penis? Does anyone buy creams for penis care? What your dick routine?\nGeneral Dick Care?",
"chosen": "Soap + Water = Clean dick.\n\nElectric razor to trim the bush.\n\nDone.\n",
"rejected": "I'm a female, but my partner applies coconut oil at least once per day, usually post shower. It helps keep things smooth and happy - he's prone to a bit of dry skin, and this has really helped. I've also noticed that jerking dry makes it worse, so if I'm giving him a hand job (and know that that's ALL we are doing), I use lotion with it. It feels nice and gives some extra moisturization.\n"
},
{
"query": "It's not too often that I dress in a certain way to impress a guy but I find it interesting and sometimes helpful to know what guys aren't into lately and why?\nWhat are some current women's styles/trends that you can't stand?",
"chosen": "Bald heads.\n\nIm just not a fan.\n",
"rejected": "Nose, cheek, eyebrow, tongue, bellybutton, nipple or clit piercings. \n\nTattoos. \n\nLet me be clear. It's your body, you want them you go right ahead and be you. We'll still be friends. \n\nI just find them incredibly off putting and unattractive.\n"
}
] | 12
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00015926361083984375,
"logprob2": -5.25,
"signal": 5.24984073638916
}
|
{
"logprob1": -8.344650268554688e-7,
"logprob2": -5,
"signal": 4.999999165534973
}
| -0.249842
| 2
|
10581
|
[
{
"query": "I need present ideas and it got me thinking?\n\nWhat is an expensive version of an everyday product that made you rethink that product?\n\n&#x200B;\n\nFor instance some guys will say that once you buy silk or expensive nice underwear they will never go back to normal cheap underwear. Any other ideas?\nWhat is an expensive version of an everyday product that made you never go back?",
"chosen": "Now that I’ve used a bidet I will always own one.\n",
"rejected": "Toilet paper.\n"
},
{
"query": "hey guys. I'm 26 and my little brother is 24. He has been dating the same girl since they were 14. This girl just went on vacation with our family in july, she lives in my parents rent house, our whole family loves her. my brothers birthday was 3 days ago and she went all out searching for gifts he would love.\n\nBrother just called me (2 am here) so upset because he found out she has been texting his best friend from high school (a guy obviously) and sending him \"seductive\" pics as he phrased it. My question is how can I help him? what does he need to hear from me right now? Brother and I have a really great relationship and obviously I love him so much and I'd do anything for him. I'm really worried because he has sort of been isolating himself the past few years and his gf is one of his only friends. How can I encourage him and be there for him right now?? We live in separate towns about 2 hours away.\napologize in advance for grammar/etc. its the middle of the night and I'm upset that I can't help.\nhow can i help my little brother",
"chosen": "thanks askmen. this is my first time posting here and you guys did not disappoint\n",
"rejected": "Get em drunk and bad mouth the broad.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm just wondering if it's an aim thing or something. Seems like if men could pee with the seat down it would save either of us from having to touch the seat to either lift it or put it down.\nWhy can't men pee with the seat down?",
"chosen": "Take a garden hose turn it on full blast and then slowly shut off the water. Same general idea. I suppose we could sit down to pee but there's some stigma attached to that and frankly it's easier not to.\n",
"rejected": "The stream is not always reliable. We can make adjustments, but that first shot out of the gate is a bit unpredictable. Plus, we've got the shake at the end, and that just tends to send piss all over the place.\n"
},
{
"query": "Ok, I'm an Asian girl lives in England but not from China and don't speak a word in Chinese but some guys just assume that I'm Chinese and say Ni-hao to me on streets. I just want to know why they do this. Do they find it funny or trying to be a racist or what? I won't be offended whatever you tell me so please tell me what you guys think. Thanks.\nI'm Asian girl and I'm fed up with some random non-Asian guys randomly say Ni-hao (Hello in Chinese)to me on streets. Why do they do this?",
"chosen": "Can I ask where in England? I'm English and went to a university with a large amount of Chinese women students and didn't encounter that phenomena (maybe I wouldn't look for it).\n\nFrom a guess I'd say they find it funny and believe because it's funny they get to ignore the fact it's racist. \n\nSo from a little corner of the UK... erm sorry, and I hope otherwise people are making you welcome!\n",
"rejected": "I own a little store in Canada, and I've travelled a bit, so I've picked up a few words in a few different languages. I've also got a pretty good ear for accents. Not always 100%, but if someone has a strong accent and I'm in doubt, I usually ask them where they're from.\n\nWhen they leave, I try to say something in their language. Whether it's \"auf wiedersein\" for the Germans \"sayonara\" for Japanese, or \"adieu\" for the French speaking folks...most if not all people seem to like it, and I only do it if I'm certain I know where they're from.\n\nI certainly hope I'm not offending anyone, just making a little extra effort to make them feel welcome.\n"
},
{
"query": "Mine isn’t that hard to explain. We all know those bouncers in nightclubs you see in cartoons or comedies or whatever. You know, big, burly, broad-shouldered black guy that looks *mean*. Then they speak and for whatever reason their voice sounds like a dogs squeaky toy and are sometimes stupidly soft spoken, and happens to be a an emotional hugger with a heart of gold? or something along those lines... \n\nYeah, I’m afraid to say I embody exactly this and my voice never caught the drift that I went through puberty. Definitely a hugger not a fighter. My application to be the baddest guy to step onto the football field was apparently rejected and here I am, a big ass guy who likes cats, writing music, hates violence and prefers to talk it out instead of fighting (black Buddha as a friend once told me in high school) . Gotta say though, I’m fine with this.\nDo you happen to fulfill a stereotype or trope in anyway? If you do, what is it?",
"chosen": "The girl everybody underestimates because she likes pink and wearing skirts and heels on a daily basis. Ugh.\n",
"rejected": "White male engineer who somewhat frequently ends up accidentally, \"man-splaning,\" not because I genuinely think that I know better or that others don't know I just really enjoy sharing the knowledge I have accumulated. I believe knowledge is power and I want others to have that power too. Sometimes I just get too excited to ask if that person already knows or wants to know about that subject.... \n\nI'm usually pretty good with social and body queues too (counter to the stereo type) but when I'm excited I can miss them and go on till just after their eyes glaze in the, \"okay I'm really bored and need to find a way to cut this guy off\" way. \n\nI usually try to make a somewhat smooth but rapid topic change and ask them something that will give them an opportunity to talk instead but it's clearly too late. Nobody seems terribly put off but I feel acutely aware of the stereotype in that moment.\n"
},
{
"query": "Mine, \n \nI started a new job in construction from working in a comfy desk job. I gained a ton of weight while working at the desk job and have since starting losing weight to the point you can see it. Ive been feelin pretty dope. \n \nWelp, was in the kitchen with the missus and she waa complimenting me. Telling me how she can see ive lost weight, most recently in my legs but not so much in the stomacn area. \n \nI said \"i dont know i used to be pretty fuckin fat\" \n \nShe replied immediately \"oh i know\". \n \nSo, yeah, thats where im at.\nWhat blow to your ego/confidence have you taken most recently?",
"chosen": "i sent a meme to a group chat and got silence ^^fucking ^^normies\n",
"rejected": "Monday, for some reason I was real horny all day at work and was craving my girlfriend. We spent all work day sending naughty things to each other, keeping things hot. She comes over and I'm ready to make her eyes roll back. We get to my room and start to get into each other. Now, my SO has eczema and for some reason, when we took off her pants, her legs started itching out of nowhere. On top of that, since we're getting a bit of a heatwave this week, it was pretty hot in my room, even with the fan on (AC, for some reason, doesn't vent well into my room). Anyways, after that scratching session, we start up. Since I've been raging all day, after about a few minutes, I feel myself already about to bust. When I pull out, she gets irritated because she's sweaty and itchy and she was about to cum but I pulled out. \n\nThat sucked. We ended up just laying there afterwards, a bit awkward. Sucked that I built up all day into that shitshow and I couldn't perform to get mind off being sweaty and itchy.\n"
},
{
"query": "I saw this post over on AskWomen and I saw a lot of people mentioning the women's side of roles in relationships and how dumb they were\nI.e. Women clean the table after holidays while men watch games. Women are expected to remember birthdays/holidays and send the cards and gifts. The woman's jobs aren't as important as the man's thus if he has to move for work, the woman has to quit her job. Etc. etc. \n\nWhile I almost entirely agree that all the things they mentioned are idiotic traditions in relationships, there was a strong bias toward what the *woman* has to go through. I was curious then, to see what men had to offer on the same subject. \n\nWhat are some traditional roles that men receive in relationships that you think are dumb/wrong?\nWhat are the worst traditions in relationships that you wish didn't exist? (X-post from r/AskWomen)",
"chosen": "Men always have to initiate the relationship and are the ones to have to take the risk of rejection. \n\nMen are expected to be the deciders and come up with ideas. The whole \"do you want to get dinner?\" thing comes to mind, but I see this all the time in other aspects. \n\nWe're expected to pay for more things and in somes cases all of the things.\n",
"rejected": "I wish men would take women's hoodies.\n"
},
{
"query": "Thank you for all your responses. \n\n23.\nCherish every moment you have with your loved ones, because it will end one day, and that day may be filled with regret.\n\nSadly I'm heading towards regret.\nHow old are you and what is the most important thing that you've learned so far about life?",
"chosen": "27 - Live life for you. Forget all the bullshit and do what makes you happy.\n",
"rejected": "33.\n\n* Anger is a poison you drink expecting the other person to die.\n\nOther things I've learned:\n\n* Figure out if you're an introvert or an extrovert. Knowing this about yourself can highly influence how you organize your life.\n* Create systems for yourself to remember everything.\n* Mistakes and problems aren't bad. They just mean you're moving forward. You can't stress about the 'bad' decisions you made in the past- you would have made other mistakes if you did it differently.\n* People who don't keep learning get left behind.\n* Above all else- don't lose your sanity.\n"
},
{
"query": "Are there cases when this isn't true?\n\nETA: Is there a difference in the answer when considering emotional v physical cheating? \n\nI find this fascinating, I'm not actually looking for advice applicable to my life at the moment.\nIf he cheats with you, he will cheat on you?",
"chosen": "If he cheats with you, he's showing that he doesn't object to cheating. So what reason would he have NOT to cheat on you? He approves of cheating, he thinks cheating is fun, why wouldn't he do something he approves of which is fun?\n\nI suppose there might be cases where it works out, but they probably post over in r/chastity.\n",
"rejected": "If you stay together long enough, he will eventually cheat on you whether he cheated with you or not. \n\nIf you stay together long enough, you will eventually cheat on him. \n\nThat's not as important as you think it is. What important is whether you will be be good to and for each other.\n"
},
{
"query": "A lot of guys I know have basically given up trying to get women. I can't count how many times I've heard guys say they're going to throw in the towel with dating: disregard females, acquire currency, and wait until the female peers hit 30 and get desperate as their looks (99% of their overall market value) take a sharp decline.\n\n The following are common complaints I hear. They don't necessarily represent my views. I think many of them are just lame excuses for guys who can't admit that they're not attractive to women.\n\n* **Women are too choosy**. Lots of women give off the impression that they'll settle for nothing less than Mr. Perfect. Guys learn this by getting repeatedly rejected despite their best efforts at self-improvement, and by listening to women describe their ridiculously high standards. \n\n* **Women aren't approachable.** I agree with this one. The average lady I see during my daily routine is staring at her phone screen and/or has headphones in her ears. It's rare that I see a woman who gives off the vibe that she'll be receptive to a rando striking up a conversation with her.\n\n* **Women have a self-entitled attitude.** They want to be our equals yet they want special treatment from us. They want relationships to be a one-way street where they control us.\n\n* **Women want \"jerks\", \"bad boys\", etc.** This seems to be true. Timid and passive men need apply. The problem is that timid and passive men don't want to change the way they are.\n\n* **The laws are skewed in favor of women.** Obviously this is true and a good reason to eschew marriage. We have a gyno-judicial system that royally fucks men over.\n\n* **Feminists have told us that women are happy being strong, independent individuals, that men are evil, that marriage is slavery, etc.** Really no point in pursuing women if this is true.\n\n* **Women are willing to fuck us outside of a relationship.** Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?\nAre men giving up on women nowadays?",
"chosen": "I know 2 guys who act like this about women, and both of them happen to have had really bad relationships in the past, both being cheated on and were hurt deeply. Ever since, both have started seeing women as inferiors, to be used only for sex. I think it's a defense mechanism and a sign of weakness and immaturity.\n",
"rejected": "Maybe you and your friends are having trouble finding women who want to date and/or fuck you because you view women as a monolithic group of herd animals that should behave predictably when cornered with flowers and a steak dinner. You have to take people one at a time -- you can't expect all women to like or want the same things, just like you can't expect all black people to act a certain way, or all Jewish people, or all disabled people, or all people who seem to fall under any other social category.\n\nPeople don't like to be judged based on external characteristics that they can't control (sex, gender, race, ability, religion, sexuality, etc), and judging from your post, it sounds like you are trying to make sweeping generalizations about what people want based on these superficial categories.\n\nMaybe you and your friends have trouble building happy & healthy relationships with women because they are put off by your reductive worldview or sense of entitlement to female companionship. Maybe you're not attractive. Maybe you're awkward. Maybe you're annoying or needy. There are a lot of reasons why you could be spurned by those you desire -- if you and I were on a first date, for example, and you started dropping these points, I would be incredibly put off by the extent to which you were stereotyping me.\n\nIt's true that women don't need men anymore. We can get the same jobs and earn the same money and support ourselves -- but that's a good thing. No romantic relationship should be built on financial necessity. Happy relationships are built on a mutual desire to spend time together, and I'm guessing no women want to spend time with you and your friends because you make them feel flawed or like inferior human beings. Try treating your lady friends as your equals -- as individuals with valid feelings and motives worthy of your respect, just like those of your male friends -- and see if you don't have more luck.\n"
},
{
"query": "This is probably a common question so I apologise in advance but I need help. I recently became a bit more social and started hanging out with some old friends (guys). So far I'm getting texts from these \"friends\" that are a little uncomfortable to me. And I've had one \"friend\" touching me trying to get into me. I just said \"what are you doing\" and he stopped. These guys are all good at other times. But I can't help feeling like cutting them off and going back to being a loner just so I don't have to deal with rejecting them. What do I do? How to let these guys down gently without being a bitch? I've already told them I don't want any kind of fling with anyone. Ugh!\nHow do I make it clear that I'm not interested in sex with friends that are guys?",
"chosen": "If you're a girl, you've just discovered the unpleasant truth that even most guys who are just friends with you might just want to fuck you; there are too many guys like that in this world. Tell them to respect your boundaries or GTFO.\n\nIf you're a dude...frankly, I have no bloody clue what to say to this, since the the one gay friend I am close enough with to talk about that shit often jokes that sometimes all it takes to be attracted to a guy sexually is knowing that he's part of that small minority too. Gay dudes, especially in red states (my friend lives in Georgia) have a problem of availability.\n",
"rejected": "Tell them straight. Leave literally nothing to guess-work.\n"
},
{
"query": "When youre dating, sleeping and/or in a relationship in her 30s how does it differ to women in their 20s?\n\n&#x200B;\n\ndetailed and thoughtful answers are appreciated\nWhat are the differences in dating women in their 20s vs 30s?",
"chosen": "A very substantial amount have 2 - 3 kids and are looking for a cash cow for said kids you being the cash cow. Those that don’t have kids are desperately looking for someone to marry and have kids with quickly, but there is a small portion who are like neither of the 2 I just described who are very smart, wonderful women to be around ! That’s who you should go for!\n",
"rejected": "This is something I've been thinking about for awhile now to be honest because it's super relevant to me. \n \nI'm 32 and I was single the past 3.5 years. In my 20s I was in 3 relationships all of them being over 2 years in length. I didn't \"give up\" these 3.5 years of being single, but I was definitely over searching for love for awhile; I just focused on myself. Slept around a lot, started loving myself, thought for sure I would never get involved with anybody under 30. But here I am, dating a 22 year old who completes me in every single way *especially* sexually an shared interests. The 30+ girls I've hooked up with the past year are nothing like me at all. I am incredibly active in the music/events/arts scene, going out until the weekend hours of the morning while my younger 20 somethings friends would be long asleep and the 30+ year olds would for sure be sleeping. I simply don't vibe with the older crowd as I feel like I'm very young at heart. I truly believe age is just a number. Sure, statistically speaking it would be hard to find a girl like this one at her age, but they exist if you're looking for very specific things and never settle for anything less.\n \nSide note: we can't really generalize age groups like we once used to. I personally feel that the younger crowds these days, while lacking in some life experience, are still very evolved humans; much much more evolved than I can say I was at 22. A lot of them have an incredible wisdom that I can't quite fathom, maybe social media and being raised around such exposure at a younger age has crafted them much differently.\n"
},
{
"query": "I want him to feel special, included and to know how much I appreciate him.\nI'm having a baby in 10 days. What can I do for my husband to show how much I love him?",
"chosen": "Be a loving person to him and the baby.\n",
"rejected": "You are probably feeling a lot of emotions right now seeing how you are 10 days from labour so that is probably the cause of this. \n\nBut if you really want him to feel special and show that you love him, let him be your hero. Ask him to comfort you when you're in pain and such. Don't abuse his loyalty but make him feel like he is helping.\n\nThat is what I would want at least.\n"
},
{
"query": "When I say a lot I mean so many hobbies that you have no way of juggling them all properly. I realized recently that I have so many interests that there is no way I could give the proper amount of time to each of them in order to be really good at any. Jack of all trades. Master of none sort of thing. \n\nSo for those renaissance men of AskMen: how do you do it? How do you keep all your hobbies and skills sharp while having so many?\nDo you guys have a lot of hobbies/interests?",
"chosen": "Nope. I'm a pretty simple guy in the most difficult way.\n",
"rejected": "By staying off the computer as much as possible.\n\nThe thing is that you don't need to spend shitloads of time every day to become decent at something. To become great, you need a lot of time. But \"Pretty good\" just needs like 30 minutes per day, and then stick to it every day.\n\nFor example, fun things i do in a regular day:\n\n* Piano ~30 mins\n* DuoLingo ~20 mins\n* Working out ~2 hours\n* Cleaning ~10 mins per day (Makes a HUGE difference at home)\n* Checking sales on local supermarkets and figuring out what new things i can cook ~30 mins\n* Practicing drawing ~10 mins\n* Studying\n\nAnd i still have too much time to waste in this godforsaken place. I'm trying to make it less and less every day because i know that every minute i waste here, is a minute i could be using to learn something i want to learn. \n\nThere is always time, you just need to get your priorities straight. We waste hours upon hours every day. Just imagine where we could be if we didn't.\n"
}
] | 11
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00016021728515625,
"logprob2": -6.625,
"signal": 6.624839782714844
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00005221366882324219,
"logprob2": -7.75,
"signal": 7.749947786331177
}
| 1.125108
| 2
|
3632
|
[
{
"query": "For a young guy, say 16 to early 20's, what are some not so obvious tips you can give them to improve their overall hygiene?\nWhat are some hygiene tips you can give someone young that might not be obvious?",
"chosen": "\\-Wash your towels! I shower twice a day (I live in a tropical climate and move around all day) and never use the same towel twice. Also, buy good towels. I have had the same 7 in rotation for 12 years now.\n\n\\-Get a 'skin thing' going for the overnights. I use a charcoal scrub on my hands and a mix of face stuff (not like a mask or anything...not that those don't work) that keeps me hydrated. I've never been greasy and am more prone to drying out than to packing in too much moisture. Don't be afraid to go to ULTA (they are a cosmetics store in the USA) and just ask one of the people who sells makeup. It's not the most comfortable thing to do, but it works.\n\nI use Dermalogica products every night. A little costly, but they work and I have horrible skin.\n",
"rejected": "Change your sheets and pillowcases once a week, so you’re not rolling around in your own oils and dirt\n"
},
{
"query": "i am a full time college student and i work on saturday and sunday. i am devoting MY time, energy and money to buy new clothes and to work out at the gym. so when a girl drops the boyfriend bomb on me, i will excuse myself from the conversation, go home for the day and try again when I have free time.\n\nso why do girls think i owe them friendship? they text me saying they thought we could be friends, but i am not looking for friendship. i just want a girlfriend\nwhy do girls get so upset after I drop all contact with them after they say they have boyfriends",
"chosen": "You're indicating that this person is interesting, worth talking to, and then immediately leaving when it's apparent you're not getting your dick wet and this person has no other value to you.\n\nI realize you're not necessarily just trying to get laid, but this is essentially what it looks like.\n",
"rejected": "How long do you play the faux friend game? 5 min or 5 weeks?\n"
},
{
"query": "As heterosexual guys, have you ever seen a girl naked and thought her breasts were ugly? Can breasts be ugly or are you basically universally attracted to them?\n\nI don't know if this is a dumb question, just legitimately want to know!\nOn the Topic of Breasts...",
"chosen": "If there's a problem, it's usually the nipples.\n",
"rejected": "Yay, more insecurities!!!! Thanks, AskMen!\n"
},
{
"query": "My boyfriend says he spends a lot of his time during sex focusing on not cummimg rather than enjoying the moment. A second immediate round is out of the picture because he gets depleted. If anyone else has had similar experiences, how do you manage to have enjoyable sex without focusing on not cumming the whole time?\nMen of Reddit who focus on not cumming quickly quickly sex, how do you \"let go\" and enjoy the moment?",
"chosen": "Encourage him to do other none-penetrative stuff that you enjoy. A lot of guys don't get that penis in vagina isn't the entirity of sex, and what people call foreplay isn't just a warm up for the main act.\n",
"rejected": "I get my girl off with foreplay. Once I know she's had at least one, I can relax enough to enjoy it.\n"
},
{
"query": "I have raised my son on my own since he was an infant and we have a great relationship. He has just gotten his first girlfriend and I’ve noticed captions on his social media are quite sad. For example “she’s too good for me, I hope I don’t lose her”, “I really want a long relationship, I hope she doesn’t leave me”, “I can’t believe she wants to be with me”. I don’t want him to feel like he has to be a sad guy to get girls to like him. I want him to understand that she is with him because clearly she thinks he’s great and interesting and that she wants to be with him as much as he wants to be with her, but I know he will think that I’m just being classic mum, and I think everything he does is awesome and that he’s the most handsome boy in the world (which I do). How do I broach this subject with him and give him confidence in a dad way?\nAs a single mother, how do I teach my teenage son to confidently date and interact with girls?!",
"chosen": "There are two books called No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover and Models by Robert Manson. He can listen to them both on audible. \n\nThey are not about pick up artist stuff or women hating stuff... it’s about how having a sense of self, direct honesty along with a lack of neediness and clingy ness will allow you have more success with women and more successful relationships. That clingy stuff won’t work. It’s like repellent to women and a recipe for misery.\n",
"rejected": "This might hit a sensitive place but you have to take into account that he never experienced the love of another paternal figure (in this case a father), so him seeing someone else give him affection other than you will be huge thing to unpack and he will think that he doesn't deserve it. I'm 16 and my father was/is barely present for me on an emotional level and as a kid, on physical levels. I'm struggling with the same thing your son is going through but I keep on reminding myself that this person loves me because they saw me as an amazing, interesting and smart human being, while in fact I'm not.\n"
},
{
"query": "I've just asked the women this on askwomen and I'd like a male perspective. So which tv character would you have sex with? And why do they ring your bell?. so to speak.\n\nPs thanks for reading and possibly answering.\nWhich tv character would you have sex with and why?",
"chosen": "She's not on tv anymore but Ariana Grande. Now Sarah Hyland.\n",
"rejected": "Bernadette from the Big Bang theory. \nBrilliant. Ambitious. A little shy, but crazy enough to still be lots of fun. \nFreaking gorgeous. Solid career. Body like woa. Smarter than most. \nI want one.\n"
},
{
"query": "A little backstory: I’m a Mid 20s F here, who is pretty inexperienced when it comes to all things dating. Doesn’t mean I haven’t gone out and spoken to men, am awkward, can’t hold a conversation, or anything like that. I’ve just been more about my career and setting up my future, so while I’ve done that I’ve neglected other parts of my life such as romance. I’m currently opened to dating and don’t mind meeting people, but with that also comes with the questions of how many people you’ve been with or what happened with your last relationship. I’m honest and just say that I was never really focused on chasing a relationship or a quick fuck for that matter (which there is nothing wrong with that, it’s just not what I’m after currently) so there’s not a lot of experience on my part in that realm. My inexperience usually isn’t a problem with the men I’ve met but there are some men that completely steer clear of me after hearing that, or think I’m lying or joking considering my age and the time we live in. I don’t take offense to it, since they have voiced that they don’t want to be a teacher. I completely understand and respect that they were honest with me. So my question I guess is what’s your guys’ opinion and take on inexperienced women?\nMen who’ve been with the “inexperienced girl” how was that like for you?",
"chosen": "I'll tell you what, spending an evening making an inexperienced girl into a somewhat more experienced girl beats the hell out of spending it on reddit.\n",
"rejected": "I prefer it, honestly. I realize I'm in the minority for saying so, but I wouldn't date someone unless she was inexperienced simply because I don't really have any experience either and am not interested in being with someone more experienced whose expectations and past partners I'm going to be compared to.\n"
},
{
"query": "I know it's hard to listen to, but I feel like I can get critical clues and red flags about them. For example, why they dumped a person could tell you what their priorities are.\nDoes anyone else find a girl's relationship past actually helpful in determining what type of person they are?",
"chosen": "It can give you an idea of what to keep an eye out for but in the end you are better putting your focus and energy into what that person is doing now. People make mistakes, people's perspectives change and people grow up. If you are going into a relationship and gauging that person by their past and not their current actions and the interactions they have had with you then I think things have a pretty short life span. \n\nI feel like this is even more important for the people who have those red flags in their history. If you never give people the chance to be somebody different how are they supposed to grow. I know it drives me absolutely insane when people judge me based on my past decisions because well I've made a lot of crappy shitty ones. \n\nIf you are curious about something like what their priorities are, just ask and you will get a more accurate. Basically your critical clues and red flags are just your own assumptions until you have talked and asked the other person about them.\n",
"rejected": "Does your credit score matter?\n"
},
{
"query": "Hi ! \nI keep seeing here that there are a lot more men on dating apps than women. Technically, as there should be as many single men and women, this does not make sense.\nIs it that women are raised to be emotionally sufficient while men often only confide in their SO?\nBit dating apps are a lot about sex and hookups so that for me has to play a big part into this.\nAlso, I do not buy into the \"women have THOUSAND \" of men to talk to, if so, most of these men are pretty much talking to any available woman, which says more about the men than the women...\n\nWhat is your perspectives on that?\nwhy is it that men are so-called \"desperate\" to be dating (see dating aps for instance)",
"chosen": "i had a Girlfriend she was single and how i see her a Average Girl. We talked about why I'm single and i tell why I'm Single and that online Dating doesn't work for me. She don't believe it so i tell her that she can see it, that we both making a Tinder account and she sees that it doesn't work for me. After a Month we look at our Accounts and she sees that i only had 3 Matches, she had over 60 matches.\n\nWoman on Dating apps get really flooded with Matches, that's true.\n",
"rejected": "A point of pride for a man is to court a beautiful woman.\n\nA point of pride for a woman is to not need a man.\n\nThere ya go.\n"
},
{
"query": "I don't know if it's just the area where I live, but I would swear people have gotten meaner over the last couple of years. Being polite seems to turn people off now while being snarky is in. People seem to like to tear each other down now for fun. Maybe I'm talking out of my ass here, but what do you guys think?\nIn what ways have you noticed society getting meaner?",
"chosen": "People are the same as always IRL— happy and cheerful. But I’m also very friendly in RL so that probably makes them reciprocate. Only online or in traffic are people assholes IME\n",
"rejected": "With younger people it’s like “if you don’t think exactly how I think you’re a horrible person and everything that’s wrong with this world “ you can’t have a differing view or opinion without being the bad guy.\n"
},
{
"query": "\"Do you like that?\" \n\"Mmm yeah\" \n\"What do you like about it?\" \nThis is when my brain empties and every response comes out like a question... \n\"It's deep?\" OR \"Ummm....everything?\" \n\n\nMy boyfriend and I have been together a few years now and one of the things I have found I struggle with is dirty talk. I don't know what I should be saying because every time I say something, I feel like a complete idiot. Please men, help a sister out! What do y'all wanna hear? Does it depend what position you're in or will anything press your buttons?\nMen, what do you want to hear in bed?",
"chosen": "\"Shut the fuck up and fuck me\" would be an appropriate response\n",
"rejected": "Silence, I have problems sleeping without it\n"
},
{
"query": "Instead of bullet dodged, the bullet hits you right in the face.\nWhat's your \"I did NOT dodge the bullet\" story?",
"chosen": "This is very embarassing but when i was young, for some stupid reason i thought \" maybe playing the drums isnt that hard \" and signed up to a child band even though i had never touched a drumkit ever before\n\nNeedless to say, the first day of rehearsals was some of the most cringe-y moments of my life, turns out playing the drums is very hard and i was very stupid\n",
"rejected": "'Sure I'll go for a walk with you' to a friend of a friend kinda late at night. \n\nGot raped.\n"
},
{
"query": "I have a thing with this girl and I'm not to sure about some stuff so I'm just trying to see if there are some red flags I'm missing. And your welcome to share stories:)\nWhat are the BIGGEST red flags to look for when interested in a girl or dating a girl?",
"chosen": "* She talks about her ex, especially in a bad light constantly: watch out.\n",
"rejected": "Easiest way to spot flags is to have 6-8 drinks with her and remain amicable and as pleasant as possible. If she starts raging out, throwing her toys or generally losing her shit, she has some underlying shit thats shes covering but which wont be fae hiddwn once youre going steady.\n\nSource: frequent firsthand experience\n"
}
] | 5
|
{
"logprob1": -8.344650268554688e-7,
"logprob2": -4.375,
"signal": 4.374999165534973
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00018024444580078125,
"logprob2": -4.75,
"signal": 4.749819755554199
}
| 0.374821
| 7
|
86
|
[
{
"query": "I'm back home for the holidays, and I have noticed that all of the older men in my family all piss very loudly. My dad's (50ish) generation and up. The violent displacement of the water is heard several yards away. \n\nFour of the six people that do this are veterans, so that might be connected...\n\nI talked to my cousins and \"cool uncle\" about it and we decided that they probably don't aim at the water and not the porcelain when peeing. \n\nWhere do you aim when peeing, and how old are you?\nHow do you pee? Do you actively try to bounce your pee off of the porcelain instead of aiming directly into the water?",
"chosen": "I pee as loudly as possible in public. It's a matter of establishing dominance. I want to out-pee anybody within earshot. \n\nAt home, I actually sit down. I had my appendix removed when I was a teen and couldn't pee while standing up for a good while. After that I realized that I'm too lazy to pee standing up at home.\n",
"rejected": "I try to angle the steam at the side walls towards the back of the bowl. This allows the pee to disperse along the bowl and flow into the water. I rarely ever have any splash back or drips along the rim. \n\nI did the same at urinals, it's a pretty good universal strategy.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm 31F, recently ended a 2.5 year relationship. \n\nI know that if I want to do the husband and kids thing, I should probably stop messing around. But at the same time, really I just want a healthy relationship with someone I connect with to do cool things with. \n\nI've gotten some good advice from friends, but I'd love to hear what Reddit has to say about it.\nWhat can a woman in her 30s do to be marriage material?",
"chosen": "I'm sure I'll get down-voted, but here goes... Start paying more attention to the not-so-good-looking guys you see. If they're still single in their 30s, they are probably a lot more interested in a real relationship. Women are almost as bad as men at tending to judge potential dates by their looks, so good-looking men don't have to worry much about it.\n",
"rejected": "Don't have kids, weigh less than 150 pounds, and don't look borderline disfigured. That'll put you in the top 10% of 30 year old women.\n"
},
{
"query": "I have seen many a married man say that they dont like kids but never heard the \"afferwards\" if they had them.\nMen who dont like kids/babies but ended up having them... what are your thoughts now?",
"chosen": "I never saw myself as a father. I hated kids. Had an oopsie (well being horny and stupid is more like it) and had a daughter, something in me changed. Then had a son. I don't want any more kids, but I do enjoy kids. My daughter is now a teenager and all her friends call me dad, which I find kind of funny and cool. \n\nMy favorite age of kids is 2-6, they're just so fun at that age.\n",
"rejected": "I was ambivalent about kids, I knew I wanted to continue the family name but I just really didn't *like* kids. \n\nSo when the g/f said she was pregnant, it was a shock to say the least, but it focused the mind to say the least and we decided to do things properly. Six months later we were married and had bought a house ready for the new arrival. \n\nThe next two years were hard, it was a one bedroom house so the boy was sleeping in the same room and it paid havoc with my sleep. I averaged around 4 1/2 hours broken sleep per night. \n\nDespite the sleeplessness and the financial ruin, I can confirm it IS worth it. We've moved house and the boy has his own room and is a really good sleeper. \n\nHe's 3 1/2 now and much more interactive now, we play, laugh, build blanket forts, watch thunderbirds and mythbusters together. Don't get me wrong, it's hard work to say the least (it's like hostage negotiation with a highly unstable terrorist) but worth every minute of the hard times when he tells me he loves me or tells me he missed me when I get back home. \n\nTl;dr, if you think you're a not a natural dad, you'll be surprised what you're capable of when you're exhausted, skint and a father.\n"
},
{
"query": "For my friend, it was some stranger at a redlight calling him a pussy and saying his girlfriend was a slut who cheats behind his back.\n\nHe said he was pissed that the guy had said that in front of his girlfriend and me and that he felt like he would have fought that guy if it had been face-to-face. He said he felt emasculated in particular by the stranger catcalling his girlfriend while he was right there with his hand on her shoulder.\n\nPersonally, I feel like he shouldn't have let any of that total stranger's words get to him, and that he definitely shouldn't have felt riled up to the point of wanting to fight.\n\nThoughts?\nHow would you react if a stranger insulted you and your girlfriend in public?",
"chosen": "Point and laugh.\n\nThe one time this happened with me (it really doesn't happen often) it was really funny. Drunk dude said something to me about the girl I was with (don't remember, probably called her a slut or something). I chuckled, 'cause I don't care about the opinions of others, but my girl... Whooo boy. Did she care. If this drunk dude was trying to pick a fight with me, he missed. He picked a fight with the girl, and it was glorious.\n\nShe stormed up to him, starting jamming her finger into his chest and kept pushing him back. All the while yelling and screaming and calling him names, belittling his manhood, the whole nine yards. Within seconds the entire bar patronage (closing time outside bar) was enjoying the show.\n\nAt one point, one of the girls friends asked me if I was going to step in and protect the girl I was with. I simply asked why. She seemed to be doing fine on her own, and I was enjoying the show.\n\nEventually, dudebro's friends dragged him away to the laughter of the crowd. And then the girl and I went home and had glorious angry sex.\n\nLong story short (too late), point and laugh, then sick my girl friend on them.\n",
"rejected": "Its a total stranger. Who cares.\n\n\nAt the same time I understand being offended by it. Ive had 'nigger' yelled at me before by a passing car on the street. I'm half black and barely even dark, thouhh I did have a wicked fro. That moment has left a lasting mark on my brain. I know its just idiots yelling stuff from the sàfety of a moving car, but if that light turned red I know I wouldve started smashing windows and painting their car a new colour... at the same time if that light turned red im not sure what wouldve happened to me alone at 2 am.\n"
},
{
"query": "i never feel sexy and it's no fun. i feel like the world has decided that i'm some kinda monk with celibacy or something, or worse sometimes i feel like some kinda creep or whatever. kinda hurts my self esteem. \n\ni see lotsa empowerment stuff online that's woman focused and it's great and i like it, but not sure how to apply that to me as a male. \n\nwhat do you do when you wanna feel sexy?\nwhat can i, a man who hasn't had an intimate experience for three years, do to feel sexy?",
"chosen": "You need a make over. This is more involved than just a shower and brushing your hair. You need a hot steamy shower and to exfoliate, try a nice sugar scrub. Then some expensive lotion to moisturize your skin. Go to the hairdresser and get a trim and request a head massage. Get your eyebrows down and a shave where they put those warm white towels on your face. \n\nFigure out what your best asset is and show it off. Is it your calves? Do you have nice biceps? Buy an outfit that shows it off and make sure the color of the shirt accentuates your skin tone. Make sure your shoes are new and new socks too. \n\nNow you have to go somewhere , where you can flaunt yourself. Depending on your age, this could be a bar, nightclub or the mall. Look people in the eye and smile at them knowing you look like a million bucks.\n",
"rejected": "Get a good suit, I was surprised how good I felt when I put it on.\n"
},
{
"query": "I love hearing people's stories on the beauty of life. Be it young, old, male or female. Everyone has their own. My parents for example were robbed of their money during hitchhiking to Germany and were left stranded on a gas station. They got picked up by a friendly German grandpa who offered to sleep them over in his house. He introduced them to his family, they went hiking in the mountains, explored a city and had a lot of fun. In the end he gave them some euros because he felt bad he couldn't drive them back home but wanted to make sure their honeymoon will be a one to remember. What's yours?\nWhat's one memory that you have that is so positive it keeps you going even in the worst times?",
"chosen": "When I brung my mom back from a dark time in her life without knowing it, I was only 9 I think.\n\nShe had gone through a divorce with that I know now is her soulmate (they are once again toghether) and she still kinda lived at his house to take care of my half siblings and other stuff. My stepdad then was seeing another woman who was also kinda living there sometimes. Most of the time it was all 3 of them.\nThen my mom moved in with a man she met close where I love with my dad and the man she was with wasen’t really the best, his house was a mess, etc. \n\nThink at that point she was sleeping less, seeing her children less, including me. She might have also turned to drinking but only alone and in small portions.\n\nI apperently said that I knew she and her ex would get toghether once again but that might just have been to be niece to her idk. She keeps asking me sometimes how I knew and I still dont know why so I just say that I knew, that’s all.\n\nThe thing that made her brake through her darkness was when I suddently called her in the middle of the week and asked her if I could come stay with her for the weekend( I rarely saw her at that point) even though the place she was living at sucked, it was a mess and there wasent anything to do. That’s what she tells me atleast what happened and I love younger me for that.\n\nSorry for the lenght but you asked😊\n",
"rejected": "One time I went to my Mom's house and our yorkie had just had a litter of pups a few weeks earlier. I go in and lay on the living room floor. The only light in the room is the christmas tree and all these little fur balls scrambled from under the tree and started crawling all over me. Lots of little puppy smooches and laughter. It's my happiest memory.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm 22 years old. I work as a web dev, I have no degree yet (was in conscription till last year, Israel), this is a job I landed purely on self practice and because it's an interest of mine. I read books, I'm an avid fan of music, I'm learning to play guitar, I have long-term goals in life. I like coming up with ideas, I love movies, I love learning how things work. \n \nBut generally, I'm not a very good conversation. I'm not sure where the barrier is. I meet up with people, and generally I love listening more than talking, unless someone is finally interested in something that I'm passionate about, which is so, so rare, that normally I don't talk much about what I like to do because it bores people. They nod and agree, say \"that's cool\", but I can see the look on their face that say it's their politeness talking. \n \nWhen I ask other people about what they do, they usually tell me about it in a short, uninviting sentence, I try to inquire more and be interested but they mostly shut me out and give me straight, short answers. \n \nWhat am I doing wrong? I can't have a good conversation for the life of me. It's not an anxiety problem, I have no problems talking to people. I look into their eyes, I don't shy around. I'm no better when texting, so it's not that I can't handle the face to face part. Phone calls are usually awkward or straight to the point, I don't like talking on the phone much. I'd prefer face to face. But I suck at it. \n \nWhat do I do?\nGuys, how can I be less boring?",
"chosen": "Nope, not too much. At least I don't think so. My best stuff are usually quotes ):\n",
"rejected": "keeping up on current events helps... read the news, develop your opinions on things so you can speak about them when the subject comes up.\n\nIt also helps to have a sort of off beat hobby or something you are into. Thats not a must, but if you do something out of the ordinary folks will want to know about it, or how you got into. Like bee keeping or something haha. Music is fine, but a lot of people play instruments, not terribly interesting. Now if you collect something interesting thats cool.\n\nJust some ideas.\n"
},
{
"query": "Wet BBQ, or Dry BBQ? There's one answer. \n\nAnd what's your ideal BBQ spread?\nIn honor of July 4th AskMen, it's time for the important questions. How do you like your BBQ?",
"chosen": "One answer?!?! You know they give the death penalty for treason, right?\n",
"rejected": "Like so many things, it's so much better when wet.\n"
},
{
"query": "I've just asked the women this on askwomen and I'd like a male perspective. So which tv character would you have sex with? And why do they ring your bell?. so to speak.\n\nPs thanks for reading and possibly answering.\nWhich tv character would you have sex with and why?",
"chosen": "She's not on tv anymore but Ariana Grande. Now Sarah Hyland.\n",
"rejected": "Bernadette from the Big Bang theory. \nBrilliant. Ambitious. A little shy, but crazy enough to still be lots of fun. \nFreaking gorgeous. Solid career. Body like woa. Smarter than most. \nI want one.\n"
},
{
"query": "Just turned 20 and want to make the next few years some years to remember, any advice?\nHow can I make the most of my twenties?",
"chosen": "Sleep around with different women\n\nTry drugs\n\nTravel\n",
"rejected": "Take care of your body, not just working out (but you should do that too), but don't rat it out with alcohol or smoking and such. You'll thank yourself later. Start eating the right way now so that it's a habit by the time you're in your 30s. \n\nDate more, or at least approach more, so you don't regret not getting experience sooner.\n\nTry and finish college now while you can function on zero sleep for days. That will also come back to bite you if you do it later in life.\n"
},
{
"query": "language* \n\n@#$%!\n\nI love language stuff, thanks for all the responses! I read all of them (almost) :D\nThose of you who speak 2+ languages, how does your personality change between languages, and do you feel that a particular languages highlights a part of your personality more?",
"chosen": "I speak English and Dutch fluently, and I must say I'm a lot more suave in English. Flirting in Dutch just sounds corny and I get self-conscious about how lame my own language is.\n",
"rejected": "I speak English, French and Greek fluently and there isn't really a big difference in my personality when I switch between languages. I am a little better at wordplay in French but that's pretty much it I think\n"
},
{
"query": "Back in highschool I became friends with my neighbor who was a girl scout and on the softball team. One of my favorite memories with her is when she showed me how to make a tampon bomb in a similar vein to a Molotov cocktail. Evidently she learned it at a girl scout camp out and the softball girls played with them for fun. 10/10 made many flaming hand grenades with her and had a blast literally.\nWhat's the most interesting \"girl secret\" a female friend or SO has enlightened you on?",
"chosen": "You can use your tiddies to launch soap in the shower. I had read it on tumblr or something and when I brought it up she was all too happy to show me.\n",
"rejected": "Girls poop too\n"
},
{
"query": "Was it by choice or no? Did you find that there were still viable women out there to date/have sex with? Did you ever end up settling down?\nMen who were/are still single at 30. How was it?",
"chosen": "Can confirm. Am 24 and am trying to pick up someone who's over 30.\n",
"rejected": "31 and single. Not by choice. Plenty of viable women out there to date. Plenty to have sex with I’m sure, but I don’t follow rules #1 and #2 to have that option.\n\nI’m jealous of those that are 30+ and single and OK with it. I’m officially the last of all my friends that is not married. I hate that most nights I have to entertain myself. I am doing my very best to not be desperate, but it’s hard with these nights be stuck home alone\n"
},
{
"query": "what advice would you give a 22 year old woman who wants to wait until marriage for sex and is starting to get into the dating world? Thank-you.\nWhat dating advice would you give someone who has never dated?",
"chosen": "Its supposed to be fun, to many people make a big deal out of it and forget to just enjoy getting to know someone.\n\nAlso the majority of your dates will never lead anywhere, don't take it personally, that's just how things go.\n",
"rejected": "I'd say you should be very upfront about your feelings regarding marriage and sex. This will be a deal breaker for a lot of people, so it makes sense to filter these people out so you can find what you're looking for. Some people are likely to say they're okay with this arrangement but not really be. They should absolutely believe you when you tell them what the ground rules are, but some of them won't, so it may pay to make this clear early and often. Are you religious? If so, it may help to start looking in that setting. It may also make sense to sign up for some dating websites so you can look for people with similar life goals and interests. Always a good idea to meet up somewhere in public when you're first meeting with someone. Good luck!\n"
}
] | 2
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000141143798828125,
"logprob2": -4.5,
"signal": 4.499858856201172
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00018024444580078125,
"logprob2": -6.375,
"signal": 6.374819755554199
}
| 1.874961
| 11
|
6387
|
[
{
"query": "I (24/f) am going on a date/meet up with a guy I met online very soon and I honestly just wanna know how the heck do I conduct myself, what do I talk about etc. he's 8 years older than yours truly and I'm honestly not well versed in older guy talk lol. Now, I realize it's not that big an age gap, but being a generally awkward, shy, reserved person, this might prove to be quite difficult for me to navigate. Some pointers would help a great deal. This may sound like a really pathetic thing to ask, but this is the first time I'll be going on a date in all of my 24 years. So, some advice/tips could really come in handy. Maybe some of your turn ons and turn offs, dos and don'ts etc. \n\nThanks! \n\nFollow up question: would you even consider being with someone who doesn't necessarily have their shit together? Because I feel I'm at that stage right now, and maybe someone in their 30s just doesn't have time to deal with that and wants someone more stable. May be over thinking things but it's kind of an insecurity of mine.\nOlder men of reddit, what topics of conversation typically interest you on a first date? And I know it'll obviously differ from man to man, but I'd be interested just in some examples. And by older guys, I mean 30 and above.",
"chosen": "(46 here) Be yourself, relax. Keep it light, mention your job, but don’t go into a huge amount of detail unless he asks. Talk about your interests, what you do for hobbies, your life philosophy.\n",
"rejected": "I tend to push women away by doing it but I typically want to know interesting shit that I probably shouldn't talk about. My go to example was asking a girl what happened between her and her former fiancé. \n\nBasically, I want you to show me why I should spend time with you. If you put on a likeable façade by not trying to show realness, it probably is not going to work out. \n\nYou would have to define what having your shit together means to you for me to answer that question.\n"
},
{
"query": "Whether it's the company picnic, the Christmas party, or just the manager who's decided it'd be a great team-building exercise to all get together for happy hour after work, do you guys have any particularly effective ways of getting out of \"mandatory fun\"? I have two jobs, so I have the built-in excuse that I literally have to be somewhere else and can't get out of it, but I know at some point they're going to expect me to plan my schedule at Job 2 around some event and get mad at me if I don't play ball.\n\nEven if I didn't have a second job, I still wouldn't want to be there unless I was being paid overtime; you cut into my personal time, you're gonna see my motivation go completely into the toilet and eventually wonder why I'm looking for work elsewhere. I'd like to avoid that.\n\nAnyone with experience at this got some good advice? Or just want to threadjack and talk about Weird Al Yankovic's 2014 album of the same name?\nMen whose workplaces have \"mandatory fun\", how do you get out of it without getting canned?",
"chosen": "Mandatory fun was an ok album. Not his best, but good.\n",
"rejected": "My last boss in high-tech called an all-hands meeting to record the entire company doing the 'Harlem Shake.' I noped, snuck in the men's room, and fucked around on Reddit for half an hour.\n"
},
{
"query": "My morning commute is littered with reasonably well dressed men wearing tattered backpacks, some which look like they came straight out of dumpsters. Surely white collar guys can afford something nice, so why cart around your son's dirty gym bag? Is it a code? Do they not give a single heck? Help me out here, I must know WHY.\nbusinessmen wearing sh*tty backpacks, WHY?",
"chosen": "I personally would never wear one going into the office, but I don't care what anyone else does. Now I stand out because I have a smart looking leather bag/briefcase that I wear across my chest while traveling and then carry as a briefcase when walking into the office.\n",
"rejected": "Because that bag comes off first thing in the office, and first thing at home. It doesn't matter what it looks like.\n"
},
{
"query": "i decided i'm going to start stepping out of my comfort zone and trying to approach guys at bars first (for reference i'm a 25 year old female). i'm sometimes shy with men at bars due to some general confidence issues i'm still trying to get better with. however, tomorrow is my birthday and i'm trying to change up little things in my life such as things like this, because i've never actually approached a man first before. so, what's something attractive a woman could do if she took the initiative to talk to you first at a bar?\nmen, what is the most attractive thing a woman can do if she approaches you at a bar first?",
"chosen": "Eye contact and smiling is enough to get a mans attention.\n",
"rejected": "happy birthday.\n\nstir my drink with her finger, then taste her finger, while maintaining eye contact.\n\nyeah, that would do it.\n"
},
{
"query": "How did you become boring? Were you always boring? Are you capable of NOT being boring? Are you OK with being boring? What disadvantages are there to being boring?\nAre you a boring person? If so, why?",
"chosen": "I'm pretty boring from an outside perspective. I wasn't always boring, but then I went to med school and 95% of my time went into studying. The remaining 5% goes into working out and running, both of which I tend to do alone as there's nobody around at my level of either. I don't really watch much TV or Netflix, haven't seen movies in a year or so, and most of my social interaction is with medical field people so I have nothing much else to relate to people. It's ok I guess.\n",
"rejected": "I don't feel boring just disconnected because my interests are not the same as many of the people around me.\n"
},
{
"query": "I am 33 and have never really used lotion in my life. This year, the weather changing has made my skin particularly dry/itchy and a lot of people have told me I should try lotion. Problem is, I am kinda lost when it comes to knowing what a good lotion is for this issue due to never using lotion before. What are some of your favorite brands to use? I figured I would ask here rather than just try a bunch of different ones until I find one I like. I'd rather take targeted suggestions and start from there. Any input is appreciated, thank you in advance for your guidance.\nGents, what lotions do you use/recommend for someone dealing with dry skin in this cold weather?",
"chosen": "I use a body lotion by Bath and Body Works. It's from their men's line of products called Noir. It's a great scent and it works for me.\n",
"rejected": "Raw shea butter. I've seen it work miracles, from vanishing scars to pulling imbedded coral out of skin. Amazing stuff.\n"
},
{
"query": "Possibly nearing the end of my current career and have many interest but most of them don't really have much of a demand anymore. Would like some ideas a what's out there and worth it.\nWhat are some high demand college degrees that have a future?",
"chosen": "Trade Schools \nLook at machinists, they're in high demand, and as others have said, plumbers, electricians, etc. are pretty recession proof\n",
"rejected": "Anything you excel at, seriously. Even if engineers are in high demand, if you barely scrape through school and aren't very good it doesn't matter about the job market. If you're a wizkid Art student you can find a really great job even though the 'market' seems bleak\n"
},
{
"query": "Let's say she came onto you but you weren't attracted sexually or preferred to stay friends. How did it go? \n\nI had to do it once, many years ago. I handled it awkwardly, she had a good cry but in the end, we stayed friends and she found someone else.\nAnyone ever had to reject a female friend romantically?",
"chosen": "On a several occasions. None of them handled it well. Got slapped by one. Had one key my car. Had one try to get me fired. I don't believe women handle rejection well especially if they are above average physically. If I had handled any of these situations like them I'd be labeled creepy douchebag that needed therapy.\n",
"rejected": "Also in high school. I had a crush on this hot girl in one of my classes. I would hang out with her and this other girl and we would do assignments together and stuff. The other girl was quite overweight and not too attractive. \n\nSo one day the hot girl I had a crush on approaches me with a letter that she wrote. I was like \"Ooh, she feels the same way about me!\" It turned out to be a letter about how the unattractive girl has a crush on me. That girl was there as I read the letter and I had to tell her I wasn't interested and she burst into tears.\n"
},
{
"query": "My boyfriend and I and some of our friends were sharing funny sex stories and apparently during the night while I sleep, I hump his leg (ie rub my clitoris against his leg if I happen to be sort of lying on or against him) untill I orgasm. Yep, like a dog. So embarrassing! My boyfriend says he thinks is adorable and funny but it kind of bothers me. I feel like I am molesting him without his consent kind of. I mean he said he would just wake me up or gently push me of. But it still kind of bothers me. I was raped when i was 17 so consent is big for me and I am worried that he is secretly disturbed by my behavior or something. IDK it just bothers me. Not sure what my question is really, just ranting and looking for different viewpoints.\ntechnically, am I molesting my boyfriend?",
"chosen": "I would say as someone who hasn't been affected by sexual assault, if he has no problem with it, it's fine. Would it make you feel better if he promised you he would wake you up and make you stop if he had a problem with it?\n",
"rejected": "If it makes you uncomfortable how he stands on the issue, then ask him. He has already said that he's okay with it. If you aren't sure, then clarify it. If you want to do something like it, get in close and whisper in his ear and ask if it's okay. Seriously, you can probably turn him on quite a bit by doing so. \n\nAsk him, if he says no, then don't. If he says yes, then go ahead. Watch for him freezing up or hesitating. If you see those, ask him if you should continue. If he does then stop. \n\nYou've raised an issue of consent, and as a man I thank you for it. Keep the lines of communication open.\n"
},
{
"query": "So I (32m) started a new job where I met this older woman 46, whose been showing me the ropes of the job.\n\nWe get along really well despite the age gap. We share a lot of the same life philosophies and have had many similar experiences and really click on a personal level. I ended up looking up to her more than just in a work way.\n\nI found her attractive the first time I saw her and found her admirable considering the things she's been through. But my feelings were that of how you would crush on a teacher. Didn't really think much of it aside from checking her out on the sly occasionally and knew nothing would come of it.\n\nAnyway, she asked me to get a drink after work one time. Didn't think anything of it, we were purely platonic and I get drinks with men and woman all the time and it never feels like anything other than platonic.\n\nWhile we were out, we talked a lot about our personal lives and shared a lot of deep feelings on life. Still, didn't think anything of it. I have these talks with a lot of people.\n\nBut it wasn't until we were talking about interests and laughing that I realized this felt like a date. And realized I actually liked her more than just a crush. I actually started to have feelings for her.\n\nI figured it was just one sided and me just being stupid. But the next time we got a drink she actually brought up that she sensed there was a mutual attraction between us.\n\nI was pretty floored and bumbled around like an idiot. But she said she's not in the position to have anything right now at the moment because of her recent divorce and didn't want to scandalize her kids with a new person in their lives. So I don't think anything more will happen.\n\nI feel pretty upset with myself for developing feelings and getting myself in this situation.\n\nI'm definitely not lonely or desperate and jumping on the first thing I see. I've actually had a pretty healthy dating life the past year, but never really clicked with any of the girls.\n\nNow I meet this woman and all of a sudden I like her. I feel like an idiot. I dated all these woman before her and never clicked with any of them like I do with her. In fact, I never gave a shit about any of them. Not in a I wouldn't care if they got hurt way, more in a I wouldn't care if we broke up way.\n\nIf any of my friends were in my position I would tell them to get over themselves and don't get caught up in anything.\n\nBut sense I'm in it, I feel like it's more complicated than that.\n\nGive it to me straight Reddit. Call me a moron and bring me to my senses and move on from this.\nHave you ever dated a significantly older woman? How did it go?",
"chosen": "You never said how old you are. You need to think about what you want in life. Which head are you thinking with, here? I'm not saying either way, just put more thought into this.\n",
"rejected": "Sounds like an opportunity for FWB or casual relationship for both of you. The age gap is an issue only if you make it one. \n\nShe is being honest about her current situation and not looking for a relationship, but someone she trusts to spend time with.\n\nGive it a shot, just don’t expect a full relationship with her.\n"
},
{
"query": "To clarify - I meant for example pictures of family or a bird or the sky.\n\nBut since we're heading that way - why don't you like having your picture taken\nApparently I'm not the only man who never takes photos - Askmen, why don't you take photos?",
"chosen": "Cause I dont have crippling narcissism and often photos of oneself is the first step in getting validation via said photos. Personally I take a photo for two reasons, generally: 1) I'm in a cool place, in which case look at this cool place around me, or 2) I've met/am with someone famous or notable, in which case look here at this notable person I am with. Other than that.....I just don't understand what non narcissistic reasons you could have, other than the occasional \"one for the family/memories\" which is a lot more understandable. But a selfie or a picture EVERY friday you go out? Pathetic\n",
"rejected": "i have a living in the moment thing. i dont have an issue taking pics of cool shit i see but i have to purposely remind myself to take photos of me.\n"
},
{
"query": "I think this is kind of a running joke in pop culture, that men would \"love\" to get the kind of objectification that women complain about. I'm just wondering if there's truth to that joke/stereotype, or if men feel more similarly to the way women seem to often feel.\n\n\"Objectification\" can be kind of abstract so I hope it is okay if I provide a few examples just to help the discussion, although if you want to ignore the examples and just talk about your experiences/thoughts on objectification that's great too.\n\nExamples: \n\n* You overhear two female friends talking about your body in a sexual way, like, \"I hope we see [you] at that party and he's wearing tight pants!\" or \"I hope his outfit shows off his amazing sexy arms.\"\n\n* Your boss implies that you you got an office near theirs because she (or he? does it make a difference?) likes to look at you\n\nWhat is your reaction? Do you feel flattered or uncomfortable or something else?\nMen, what are your thoughts and feelings about being objectified/sexualized?",
"chosen": "If I experienced objectification as often as attractive enough girls do, I'd probably love it for the first few months. Right now I'd actually love to have comments made about my body, as I've been working hard at the gym for a while now. But I do think it would get old.\n\nI don't think girls mind having their bodies admired. After all, most of them spend considerable amounts of time on hair, skin care, make up, and time at the gym. I can see why many girls are jaded to it though - catcalling and lewd comments can get old and people want to be valued as something more than eye candy.\n",
"rejected": "I've never been sexualized or objectified in any way, ever, so it would be a nice thing to experience.\n"
},
{
"query": "Example:\n\n(IT/CS/Soft)- Diversity Requirements and H1B limitations are a joke. The candidate with the most skill should be hired, not one who fills in the \"diversity requirements\". If that candidate is foreign or local, white or asian it doesn't matter\nMen, what is the strongest or most controversial opinion you hold in your field?",
"chosen": "Advertising / Digital Experience Design\n\nBanner ads are stupid and not necessary.\n",
"rejected": "PHILOSOPHY IS VERY FUCKING IMPORTANT!!! \n\nIt's not directly my field, but I'm not very far and I like it. I'm still what you can call a n00b, but I'm really passionate about it, and my blood boils whenever I hear someone saying that philosophy might be fun but not useful, or something along those lines.\n"
}
] | 9
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00005888938903808594,
"logprob2": -5.125,
"signal": 5.124941110610962
}
|
{
"logprob1": -9.5367431640625e-7,
"logprob2": -8.375,
"signal": 8.374999046325684
}
| 3.250058
| 3
|
7043
|
[
{
"query": "Please help. We've only been on two dates. He hosted and had activities in mind for us and stuff. What have been your favorites!?\nWhat has been your favorite date?",
"chosen": "01/30/2021 - that was the day my little angel was born\n",
"rejected": "Axe throwing is always fun, see if any bars/breweries have axe throwing.\n"
},
{
"query": "I had a dream last night where the vet we usually take my beagle to told me that she wasn't going to make it (for reasons unknown) and she had to be put down. Problem was, *I* was the one who had to kill her, and with a *hunting knife*.\n\nThe following dream was bloody and depressing and when I finally woke up I grabbed her from the foot of my bed and hugged the shit out of her. I've been with her all day now.\n\nThe point is, I feel super uneasy and sick to my stomach now, and have all day. Tell me a story about when this has happened to you, or just you're worst nightmare.\nHave any of you ever had a nightmare that was so bad you were shaken up for all of the following day?",
"chosen": "Yep. Typing on mobile so forgive typos. \n\nI was at the movie theater watching some movie. I heard the shower running behind the theater's emergency exit door. I get out of my seat and walk down to the door. I open it to find myself in my bathroom with the shower on. I know my wife was showering but I don't see her shadow. I pull back the curtain to see my wife floating face up in the water. Her lips are blue. Her eyes are wide open. I wake up screaming with tears in my eyes. I couldn't go back to sleep that night.\n",
"rejected": "Yes, I've had that happen lots of times. I dream nightmares too often, and I don't know why. The pillow is the only thing that accepts my huggage. Though I don't kill people in my dreams, I almost always dream that I get stabbed by poles and knives, also being humiliated by the people closest to me. \n\nDreams are sooo spaced out it makes me wonder if I am mentally stable or if my brain is playing games with me. Perhaps I really am crazy, but my brain lets all the steam out while I sleep so I can be normal the morning after!\n"
},
{
"query": "My singing voice is garbage, i cant write lyrics, i cant play an instrument, and I can't read music, but for as long as i can remember i loved music and wanted to tell stories with music. Except im bad at it, and thats making me frustrated and depressed. Any tips for an aspiring songwriter?\nMusicians of askmen, what are your tips for an aspiring songwriter who is bad at music?",
"chosen": "Practice. They say it takes about 10,000 hours to become expert in something, everyone sucks to begin with - hard work is often mistaken for natural born talent.\n",
"rejected": "Start writing crappy songs.\n\nKeep practicing and getting feedback.\n\nEventually start to improve.\n"
},
{
"query": "In shows there are 3 guys and 1 girl. At parties there like 4 guys for every girl. It seems like there would be a 50-50...\nWhy do there always seem to be more guys than girls?",
"chosen": "In tv, I think it's like that because when there is a majority of women, people consider it a girl show. Same with race, when the majority of the characters are black, people call it a black show. I think it sort of broadens the potential audience in a way when the majority of main characters are white males.\n",
"rejected": "Best guess: Because the attractive girls might be home with their boyfriends, and the unattractive girls might be too shy to attend?\n\nMore likely: Confirmation bias and/or tunnel vision on your part. You're likely acutely aware of how many guys are there and remembering them more. Back in my day I went to tons of parties and the split was generally pretty even. \n\nHowever I will say that \"huge group of girls\" type outings typically land at a club instead of a house party because often when women get gussied up they wanna shake their groove thangs and drink fancy drinks. I found it much more common for women to show up to house parties as a group of two or three, and for guys to show up in larger groups.\n"
},
{
"query": "By this, I'm talking advice that makes you sound crazy, but has solid reasoning behind it. It could be about anything, as long as it matches that criteria. I don't have advice like this to give out myself, but was randomly curious as to what you guys had.\nWhat's your one \"you laugh, but I'm serious\" piece of advice?",
"chosen": "Some of the best food you will ever eat will be random shit you pull out of the fridge and throw together on a whim.\n\nLearn to cook, learn how flavors work together, and start experimenting.\n",
"rejected": "to get laid easily do one of 2 things. Treat a princess like a whore or treat whore like a princess\n"
},
{
"query": "I am curious, I've read several posts from men wondering what they are doing wrong in regards to relationships and they analyze what they are told during the breakup. I know when ending a relationship I tend to place the blame on myself to soften the blow, but is this the best approach? Would it be more beneficial to be blunt and tell you the real reason even if it might be hurtful? I would never say anything just to hurt someone's feelings, but if the reason I am breaking up with you is that you are too clingy, or you don't make time for me or your lack of common sense is super annoying or whatever the case may be, would that be better than \"we just want different things\" or \"I just need some space right now\"?\nMen of Reddit, how do you want to be dumped?",
"chosen": "I would prefer to know the reasons behind the state of our relationship. Don't worry about hurting my feelings, you(probably) already did that by breaking up with me. Just give me your honest opinions and be firm.\n",
"rejected": "I prefer the \"death with a bang, not a whimper\" approach.\n"
},
{
"query": "UV Volt:\n\nUV Blue, Mt. Dew Voltage, lemonade, an orange or lemon, optional: blackberries and blueberries. \n\nPut UV Blue in freezer overnight, everything else should be chilled. \n\nOptional: muddle blueberries and blackberries at the bottom of the glass. \n\n2 parts UV Blue, 3 parts Mt. Dew Voltage, 1 part lemonade. \n\nStir. \n\nGarnish with slice of lemon/orange peel, squeeze the oils over the top of the drink. \n\nLazy Aztec:\n\nKahlua (I prefer French Vanilla), Half & Half, cinnamon, optional: allspice, nutmeg, pumpkin spice. \n\nOver a full glass of ice, pour one part H&H, then 2 parts of Kahlua, then one part of H&H. Stir until mixed. Add a small amount of Kahlua after you stir, no further mixing. On top of the ice, sprinkle cinnamon. Other spices can be added if desired.\nWhat's an alcoholic cocktail you invented and want to share?",
"chosen": "Cake batter:\n\n* 1/2 part French Kiss vanilla liqueur\n* 1/2 part vanilla vodka\n* 3 parts ginger ale\n",
"rejected": "I doubt I was the first person to try these combos but:\n\nWhiskey, cloudy apple juice and ginger beer is pretty good.\n\nAlso dark rum, pineapple juice, ginger ale and lime juice, in something like a 2:6:4:1 ratio. Bloody good without the rum too.\n\nWhite Russians with vanilla vodka are great too and have resulted in many a pleasantly messy evening.\n"
},
{
"query": "Yes, this is a x-post from the one thread in AskWomen.\n\nI'll answer here, there isn't anything I can think of that's sexier that would require her doing something with me or for me soooo ladies please tell me. (And yes if I'm not attracted to her I'll get a momentary eh feeling but after that passes it'll be really hot)\nWould you like to know a female friend of yours masturbates to you?",
"chosen": "I'd be flattered as long as it's like \"I think about you while masturbating.\" \n\nNot \"You remember that little orange light you saw outside of you window last night at 3 AM? That was the end of my post-spank it cigarette.. I really like your curtains, by the way.\"\n",
"rejected": "I would like it so much that I would probably masturbate to the thought of her masturbating to me. Hell, just thinking about the chance that any of my female friends might be masturbating to me makes me want to masturbate.\n\n Fuck, I need to get out more...\n"
},
{
"query": "Curious to learn more about everyone's hobbies, how they were introduced to them, how it has impacted their life, etc!\nMen - what are your hobbies?",
"chosen": "Weight lifting, I'd love to be able to get back into woodworking but I don't have the time.\n",
"rejected": "World building.\n\nI eventually want to write my own fantasy novel, but I just don't have time right now.\nSo I have been slowly developing the world that I want my novel to take place in. Developing the cities with their own history and developing the races that I want to be living in my world.\n\nit's not the most conventional hobby, but it is still a lot of fun.\n"
}
] | 1
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00023174285888671875,
"logprob2": -7.875,
"signal": 7.874768257141113
}
|
{
"logprob1": -9.5367431640625e-7,
"logprob2": -8,
"signal": 7.999999046325684
}
| 0.125231
| 7
|
10776
|
[
{
"query": "So, I have a roommate and recently (last two months) she's been staying here nearly every night and I'm lost here. At what point is it considered her place of living? Should she start paying her way? What's the process with this and how do I go about this?\nAt what point should your roommates girlfriend start paying rent?",
"chosen": "If she's acting more like a resident than a guest. Guests don't use our groceries, or sleep there more than a couple nights once in a while, or store things there. If you leave a curling iron and toothbrush in the bathroom long term, you've stopped being a guest. \n\nThey need to get their own place. Or she should just go ahead and move in and quit paying rent wherever she actually lives. Or she should go the fuck home. \n\nAlso, if you're renting, there's a good chance they're in violation of the lease. \n\nCheck the lease, see what you find, talk to them about it. Consider moving out with someone else as a potential contingency.\n",
"rejected": "Many lease agreements specify how often an overnight guest is allowed. So, check your lease agreement.\n"
},
{
"query": "Given that these are the ages that guys are no longer in a setting like college where they are surrounded by a lot of women around their age who are single like them but at the same time, guys are more established at this age too.\n\nHow do they usually end up meeting their future wives?\nStatistics say most guys get married in their late 20s to early 30s, how do they usually end up meeting their future wives?",
"chosen": "I met my wife aged 28 (she was 26). We both taught at a university, though in completely different departments so there was no work awkwardness. Just passed 10 years together :)\n",
"rejected": "Most of my friends married in their early 20s to their high school sweethearts. My older brother met his first wife at work. Then he reconnected with his high school gf at church. I don't go to church, and I've worked with all guys for the last decade. I'm sensing a pattern.\n"
},
{
"query": "This is in regards to me having never met someone I was physically or romantically interested in, although I feel like I should have by now. It isn't causing me deep emotional distress or anything, I just don't care at all about it, that's the part which seems odd to me. What are other people's experiences in this field? Is this actually not normal or am I over-thinking it?\nHow normal is it to have never met someone you were physically or romantically interested in by the time you were 19?",
"chosen": "I'm 24. I did date once but only very briefly. I've basically never met anyone i was interested in.\n",
"rejected": "I'm 21 and I've only been seriously interested in a relationship 1 time in highschool. I don't think it's normal or usual but I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I do sometimes see women who I think are pretty but I never see them really as potential partners.\n"
},
{
"query": "For me it's really anything nostalgic, sometimes when I'm writing a song I'll break down, a lot of things with relationships, and watching soldiers coming home videos. I also cry while imagining powerful things like one time I imagined watching my father through the crack of a bedroom door playing guitar and singing my future children to sleep just like he did to me when I was little. This happened during my cousin's baptism. I just saw my uncle holding my cousin and watching my grandfather shed a tear I just bawled my fricken eyes out.\nAlright men, what types of things make you cry?",
"chosen": "Realizing how lonely I am.\n",
"rejected": "Yesterday, sort of. Definitely teared up.\n\n Looking at a picture on google streetview that showed the house I grew up in with the beautiful front yard and my mother sitting outside reading a book or doing some knitting.\n\nthe picture is from 2009. She passed away from cancer in 2012 and we sold the house a year or two later because we couldn't afford to repair/maintain it and living in it would be impractical and increasingly uncomfortable.\n"
},
{
"query": "I've had a long life with many adventures.\n\nBut I accurately portrayed Gordon Freeman in a film (with crowbar and goatee and everything), and I consider that to be one of my shining moments of cool.\n\nHow about you?\nHumblebrag time. Men, what's the coolest thing you've ever done?",
"chosen": "Drove around at 2am and explored some woods to find an abandoned drive in movie theater. That was a pretty cool adventure.\n",
"rejected": "Saved my friend from falling to death off a rock face.\n"
},
{
"query": "Thank you for all your responses. \n\n23.\nCherish every moment you have with your loved ones, because it will end one day, and that day may be filled with regret.\n\nSadly I'm heading towards regret.\nHow old are you and what is the most important thing that you've learned so far about life?",
"chosen": "27 - Live life for you. Forget all the bullshit and do what makes you happy.\n",
"rejected": "The most important thing I've learned about life is the inevitability of death and how to use that as fuel for personal growth. \n\nEvery day I see people in various stages of life and death. We wait, worrying about the inevitable, when in reality every moment is a precious gift. Not that we must constantly wander from extreme pleasure to tremendous experiences or ignore planning for the future. Only that we can have a better everyday if we realize it is fleeting. I can enjoy an episode of Netflix, but it's not just procrastinating on life. It's part of life. I can enjoy a walk in the park, a laugh with friends, a workout, a grilled cheese sandwich. \n\nIt's all... Better, when I am aware it is fleeting and pay attention to my existence. I've heard it called mindfulness. Inevitable death makes everything meaningless, but if everything is equally meaningless it is my own will to decide meaning. Very freeing, death is. \n\nI'm 25.\n"
},
{
"query": "Thank you so much to my fellow men and women who took the time to respond and share some of their life experiences. I learned a hell of a lot more than I was anticipating to learn, that's for damned sure.\nWhat hard lesson did life teach you that made you a better man?",
"chosen": "Trust in experience. Not necessarily age.\n",
"rejected": "Success is not measured by how much effort you put into something. Get too hung up on one thing and you might ruin it despite giving it your *everything*. That is not to say effort does not matter, so I am not discouraged from making one. It does however mean that I have learned when to call it a day and move on to something else. This goes for pretty much everything.\n"
},
{
"query": "This question is of course directed at those who won't date fat women. I'm aware that this does not apply to ALL men. \n\nI get that people are attracted to all different shapes/sizes but it never occurred to me until recently that someone might be instantly repelled by how someone *used* to look.\n\nThere is a tiny scene on the show How I Met Your Mother where one of the characters (Barney) is desperately trying to \"score\" with different women only to *finally* find a hot girl who is interested in him. But she passingly mentions she used to be 300lbs and that's enough to put him off.\n\nI'm nowhere near 300lbs but I did put on weight due to illness last year. Been working my arse off trying to lose it all. Thinking of this scene kind of made me feel like shit.\n\nThen yesterday I saw a thread on a fitness site with a girl asking advice on how to \"break it\" to her boyfriend that she used to be fat.\n\nI want to be clear that I'm not trying to lose weight to look desirable to men. It's for health and the GREAT feeling of going to a clothing shop and being able to wear whatever you want. \n\nBut if the answer to the title question is a resounding \"no\" I'd be interested in the rationale. Fear of loose skin? Fear they'll put the weight back on?\n\ntl;dr If you went on a date with a hot girl and found out she used to be 300lbs, would it put you off? And your reasoning?\nWould you date someone that USED to be fat?",
"chosen": "Barney, the guy who's for comedic purposes a disordered sexist pig of a human being?\n",
"rejected": "Why not? I used to be fat. I'd be pretty pissed if someone refused to date me because I learned about nutrition in my twenties as opposed to my teens.\n"
},
{
"query": "I (F/20) downloaded Tinder a couple of days ago under the impression that it was an app for hooking up and not anything serious. Surprisingly a good portion of the men I have matched with and talked to have said they are on Tinder looking for girlfriends, dates, relationships. Not necessarily just sex. \n\nWhich got me to wondering, how many guys use Tinder for something deeper than sex? And why use Tinder rather than more traditional, less appearance based sites/apps?\nMen on Tinder: Do you use the site for hookups or relationships?",
"chosen": "Well, it *is* predominantly a hookup app, and was initially intended for that purpose. I've concluded that if men are saying they want a relationship, they're probably just saying so since they think it'll get the girl to \"hang on\" the conversation.\n\nThen they hookup and the guy fades away.\n",
"rejected": "I use it to swipe, that's it.\n"
},
{
"query": "Extreme in the sense that sometimes one wrongly puts more or at least too much blame on oneself wrt a situation and how it turned out or decision they made or had to make\nDo you take extreme ownership/responsibility for your actions? How has that worked out for you in life and mentally?",
"chosen": "No. I'm not Jocko Willink.\n",
"rejected": "Define \"extreme\".\n\nI know when I mess up. I admit my mistakes and, instead of coming up with excuses, I go and try to fix it, if possible. If not - I face the consequences. Either way, I make sure to learn from my missteps.\n\nIt is what it is. It's better than trying to convince both myself and others that whatever happened wasn't my fault. I'd rather face trouble than lie to myself or others.\n"
},
{
"query": "You know the ones. You've all had a few drinks. Someone says something trivially wrong or patently absurd and you just can't help yourself by questioning it. They double down and it all goes in wild directions for about 40 minutes before anyone calms down.\n\nGood topics for banter are also welcome\nWhat have been your most entertaining but pointless arguments you've had with your mates?",
"chosen": "Gorilla vs bear\n",
"rejected": "I'm a big Batman fan. My friend is a huge Spider-Man fan. We were once a tad drunk and started discussing about who was hotter: Bruce Wayne or Peter Parker. We're both straight.\n"
},
{
"query": "I am creating a podcast about masculinity in films. I want to cover films that I believe every man should watch in his lifetime. So far, here’s what I have in mind for discussion:\n\n- Rocky\n- The Godfather\n- The Searchers\n- Shane\n- The Princess Bride (yes, that’s right)\n- Braveheart\n- The Patriot\n- True Grit\n- Star Wars (*Episode IV*)\n- No Time For Sergeants\n\nI want to add more comedy films, as well as a variety of genres. What “manly” movies do you enjoy, or do you feel every man should see at least once?\nWhat are some “manly”movies you enjoy?",
"chosen": "Pitch black (2000). \nJust ignore the sequels though, and do us all a favor.\n",
"rejected": "Princess Bride is the manliest movie ever made.\n\nFor the purpose of saving myself some typing I'd like to add to this list anything that stars Arnold, Clint Eastwood, Denzel Washington, Harrison Ford, or John Cena.\n"
},
{
"query": "asked the same question on ask women and now i want youe opinions\nguys with high standards what do you bring to the table ?",
"chosen": "This Charizard card.\n\nI could ramble on about my salary and deadlifts, but really it all pales in comparison.\n",
"rejected": "I'm not going to get involved in something that isn't a net positive for me, so from that standpoint it doesn't matter what I bring to the table. Not having much to offer may prevent me from getting into a relationship that I *would* find valuable, but I don't see why avoiding relationships that are net negative for me is a bad thing.\n"
},
{
"query": "A few of mine:\n\n\n- cheers to living, loving, drinking, and fucking\n\n- cheers to lesbians and virgins, thanks for fucking nothing\n\n- cheers to all the fallen homies (referred at both dead and alive)\n\nEveryone loves a good toast, what are yours?\nMen of Reddit, what are your favorite toasts to make when drinking with friends?",
"chosen": "\"When you're getting wasted, time isn't wasted.\"\n",
"rejected": "May the jaws of death have cotton teeth.\n"
},
{
"query": "My best friend has gone off the radar for like 6 months since he got a gf. He barely answers messages and never initiates hanging out anymore. We’re all in our late twenties so I get that we’re in a time period where we get married and relationships get serious, but it’s still a dull situation. I’ve been in long term relationships and always made time for my closest friends, even in the honeymoon phase\nHow do you guys handle it when your friend goes off the radar when he gets a girlfriend?",
"chosen": "Some ppl just don't have time to juggle more than one close relationship. I just let them do their thing.\n",
"rejected": "He's my friend, I expect it. First off I'm happy that he's found someone that he wants a relationship with, and not selfish about them being off the radar. \n\nAnd they do the exact same when it's me that goes off the radar, we're friends no matter what.\n"
},
{
"query": "In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.\n\nI know it’s just a stereotype that men constantly want sex and women always turn it down. However, am I doing something wrong?\n\nI’m fine with a 2-3 times a week. We have needs.\nMen, how often do you want to have sex?",
"chosen": "maybe 1 once a month if they want to\n",
"rejected": "*In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.*\n\n*However, am I doing something wrong?*\n\nAre you initiating the sex, or are you just waiting for him to take the lead and when he doesn't you assume he doesn't want to have sex? It's quite possible he did want more sex but thought you didn't, so he didn't bother trying.\n\nLikewise, guys will sometimes avoid it if they're stressed, not feeling great, etc. Not necessarily because they don't want it, but because they're worried they won't be able to perform and it'll be very embarrassing.\n"
}
] | 7
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000009417533874511719,
"logprob2": -4.5,
"signal": 4.4999905824661255
}
|
{
"logprob1": -9.5367431640625e-7,
"logprob2": -5.875,
"signal": 5.874999046325684
}
| 1.375008
| 8
|
5320
|
[
{
"query": "I just sneezed while taking a piss and got really fucking upset about it.\nWhat small thing irrationally pisses you off?",
"chosen": "People who do not follow the line marking when turning at intersections, and come into my lane. You don't cross the dotted line on straight roads, why do you have to do it at an intersection?\n",
"rejected": "Chronic throat clearers. Especially the really heavy nasty loud throat clears. It's fucking disgusting.\n"
},
{
"query": "For friends and strangers. And pretend this is during **non-covid** times.\nWhen talking to someone, regardless of gender, how often do you make physical contact with them during the conversation?",
"chosen": "Never. I also limit eye contact and stay at least 4 feet away.\n",
"rejected": "A lot tbh, I do it subconciously mostly butrarely with people I don't know well. My mum's quite touchy so I guess I got it from her.\n"
},
{
"query": "20M. So, last year I had a shitty job with bad hours while I went to school. My first term was bad, I got 2 D's and a C. I thought I could improve so I tried it again for a second term, but again I noticed my job had been affecting my grades. \n\nEver since last term, I quit my job and I did very well last term and am currently doing very well this term with all A's and B's. However, I'm at the point where I've spent a majority of my savings from my old job so I know I'm gonna have to look for a new job soon, but I'm scared that if I get hired somewhere my grades will go down again, and at this stage in my college career I can't let that happen if I want to accomplish the goals I have in mind.\n\nI still live at home, and I have good supportive parents who understand my situation, but they keep telling me if I don't find a job, how am I gonna move out when it's time for me to transfer colleges? They're completely right but I'm just really nervous about the whole situation. How can I try to find time for a job while going to school full time?\nThose of you who work while going to school full time, how do you do it?",
"chosen": "Honestly just sucking it up and dealing with it. It sucks but it's for the best.\n",
"rejected": "Right now I'm working just short of full time (so I'm not getting any of those benefits but working about the same hours) and taking 16 credit hours of classes.\n\nI basically just don't sleep, stress 24/7 and consider dropping out or quitting all the time but never actually do because I need money and everyone's pressuring me to complete college\n"
},
{
"query": "You know that feeling? Where you just feel \"home\"? You can go hours not saying much , or get really excited about something small, or act really weird around them and feel comfortable?\n\nI just got out of my first breakup and I'm devastated because the girl felt like home. I travelled all over Europe with her and never felt homesick. I always felt cozy and safe and comfortable like I never have felt . But it seemed to have nothing to do with compatibility on paper.. on paper, we weren't crazy similar, you know?\nHow rare is it to find \"home\" in a girl? Is it different each time?",
"chosen": "Feeling like this is more about how you feel and less about the girl. When you're fully invested in a girl you will feel more comfortable around her because you're letting your guard down. \n\nThis really doesn't have much to do with any the girl is doing/saying.\n",
"rejected": "you'll find it again, man, no worries.\n\nTruth is there is no one single \"THE ONE\" for you.\n\nThere are plenty of awesome, cool, down to earth girls out there who will love and cherish you.\n\nIt may seem bleak now, but from personal experience you;ll come to find that.\n\nIf you have the qualities and you embody them, you will attract someone with the same ones and it will be awesome.\n\nI was single for a while and dated a slew of women who never just clicked and connections just fizzled.\n\nBut recently i met a woman who blows all of them out of the water and who I'm in love with, she is eveerything I could ask for in a girl and more.\n\nHowever, if we ever broke up, I'm sure there are plenty of girls out there of the same caliber, because there are good people in this planet who seek the same as other people.\n\nJust how you might think you are a good catch, there are plenty of dudes out there with the same caliber so....they;re out there man, you will find your home again.\n\nIt takes some time, but you will get there.\n"
},
{
"query": "i dont want to post this on /r/relationships because i feel like this sub is more supportive.\n\nive read the FAQ and people say cut contact, which i have, but i cant remove her from my class. im forced to hear/see/smell her\n\ni've tried resolving it, talking to her etc. shes just a stubborn arrogant stuck up cunt. so all I can do is just move on, my only problem is that i dont have any friends, i have gym, im studying atm. what else can i do to keep my mind busy? i live alone so its not like even my mum could distract me. im open to any suggestions.\nmen, bros, hermanos, how do I move on when my ex is in my CLASS?",
"chosen": "Get yourself Rosetta Stone and start learning another language. Pick up a musical instrument. Work out all day, every day. You need to force yourself to stay busy and focus on other things, it surely won't be easy but that is the only way through this.\n",
"rejected": "Be polite and treat her like a stranger.\n"
},
{
"query": "I always turn down girls with horses in their profile pictures. No exceptions.\nWhat was your pettiest reason for turning someone down?",
"chosen": "Spitting on the sidewalk, that's just barbaric. Also, loud chewers. That sound is grating to me.\n",
"rejected": "The other day I swiped left on someone because I didn't like her coffee mug.\n"
},
{
"query": "I wouldn't necessarily say I'm trying to be, I just come off as being quite flirty. I have predominantly male friends because of my interests and I can make friends easier in class with guys. I would categorize myself as \"friendly\", but most people tend to call me \"flirty\". I'll generally say that I make a lot of different friends in random places, but I'm only hitting on people a portion of the time. A lot of times I'm just being friendly.\n\nHow do men see me and is this necessarily a bad thing? How do you distinguish a girl as flirty or just friendly?\n\nI'll give an example of me being outwardly flirty. In one of my classes, I saw this cute guy, so I sat next to him. I started a conversation with him and we became friends. We ended up meeting up to do homework. I suggested we hang out for non-school related reasons and he said sure. We never did and he started to make less effort to sit next to me. Well, he seemed like he was blowing me off, so I decided to sit next to this other cute guy in the same class. I started to flirt with him also and he ended up finding and adding me on Facebook. I've started to sit with him instead in class. Mind you, I sometimes sit with my other friend in the class that happens to be an attractive male also that I met in a different class this semester. The original guy I sat next to has started to sit on the opposite of the room and doesn't ever say hi to me anymore unless I acknowledge him. \n\nWhat does this make me look like and is it really that bad that I'm that flirty with nearly everyone?\n\n**I've read through the additional posts. I guess I was originaly taken aback by the varying in responses because ask men tends to give fairly consistent advice. I definitely think some people prefer flirty girls and others want nothing to do with them. It's a personal preference and you can't appease everyone. Thanks for your honest critiques and affirmations.**\nIm a flirt. How do men see me?",
"chosen": "Well firstly it's going to make me cautious of your interactions with your male friends. I'd likely be less trusting of you should we start to enter some kind of romantic or sexual relationship and therefore I'd keep you an arms length away. But I doubt we'd ever get to that point because I'm also going to assume your flirtations with me don't necessarily mean that much since you're flirting with everyone.\n",
"rejected": "If you're flirting, we think you're into us. Here's the problem, I don't know that you flirt with all of your friends when I meet you. I just think someone's interested in me.\n\nWhen you start to show that sort of interest in someone else, I become confused and probably lose interest myself. It's not worth the hassle to get involved with someone who involves themselves with so many people. So all this does is punish people who don't show their interest in pursuing a relationship with you early.\n\nI'll just say that it's hard to be friends with someone like you, for someone like me because over time I start to get attached, or start to question your intentions with your actions. Although that isn't your problem, it's just I'd sometimes have to be distant from you to remind myself there's nothing going on there. That might just be something about me in particular, it's just easy to get confused you know, I just don't flirt with my friends. I definitely won't tell you that its necessarily a bad thing, though, especially if it's not causing you or the people around you social problems.\n"
},
{
"query": "In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.\n\nI know it’s just a stereotype that men constantly want sex and women always turn it down. However, am I doing something wrong?\n\nI’m fine with a 2-3 times a week. We have needs.\nMen, how often do you want to have sex?",
"chosen": "maybe 1 once a month if they want to\n",
"rejected": "*In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.*\n\n*However, am I doing something wrong?*\n\nAre you initiating the sex, or are you just waiting for him to take the lead and when he doesn't you assume he doesn't want to have sex? It's quite possible he did want more sex but thought you didn't, so he didn't bother trying.\n\nLikewise, guys will sometimes avoid it if they're stressed, not feeling great, etc. Not necessarily because they don't want it, but because they're worried they won't be able to perform and it'll be very embarrassing.\n"
},
{
"query": "one item in particular is this blue short sleeve sweater I love when I go grocery shopping from club Monaco I cant find another one anywhere online anymore!. \n\nI feel like I need to just take her phone for ransom until she returns it\nwhat would you do if a girl keeps taking over your favourite shirts and sweater?",
"chosen": "\"Thats theft. I would never let a girl disrespect me like that. HUGE red flag. Run.\" - some redditor\n",
"rejected": "Just give her something else you own that you care less about.\n\nAll of my boyfriend's tshirts/ sweatshirts/ sweatpants are equally oversized and cozy. I like it because it's his, not because it's a *specific* piece of clothing. \n\nJust say something like \"Hey, I need x-piece-of-clothing back for something. You can take whatever one of these sweaters to wear from my stash.\"\n\nor if she's borrowing way too many things at once \"dude, I need clothes too. I love seeing you wearing my stuff, but can you just take a coupe of things so I can still clothe my body.\"\n"
},
{
"query": "I don’t have a girlfriend, have t found the right one yet.\n\nAll my friends are not in the same city I live in for at least the next month. What are somethings I can do alone outside, to just have some fun and also possibly to meet someone.\n\nFor reference, I’m a 22 year old at Uni.\nWhat are something’s to do alone?",
"chosen": "I just want to say how proud I am of this entire sub that nobody's said masturbation.\n",
"rejected": "Sailing. Check and see if your uni has a sailing club. I can't say it's great exercise but it's a lot of fun and you can race small boats all by yourself. If your uni does have a club/team, you can likely get checked out and then go sailing whenever you want.\n\nAs a side note, sailing is a good life skill and women love boats.\n"
},
{
"query": "I recently was at a party where my friend was grilling food and I mentioned how awful I am at it. This led to many jokes at my expense. I was wondering if others ever feel like less of a man because they aren't very good at doing certain \"manly\" things.\nIs there something you can't do but other men can, which makes you feel like less of a man?",
"chosen": "Can't grown a beard, can't seem to get girls.\n\nOther than that i can drive stick and giant trucks/off-roaders/tractors, can maintain mechanical things and even repair them with duct tape and string if needed, can maintain a decent yard and cultivate stuff, i cook decent meals and drink alcohol while looking good in a suit.\n\nI also can't, for the life of me, see the appeal of watching most sports (versus actually playing a sport). For example, playing some rugby or soccer is fun enough, as are most sports, but watching them happen on the TV/in a stadium is just boring to me.\n\nExcept for motor sports.\n",
"rejected": "Drive a stick :(\n"
},
{
"query": "I am 14 and I love my girlfriend, I don't think I could live without her. \n\nI can't drive to see her, sleep next to her, take her to cool places, or even buy her some wine (she wants to try it). \n\nDo you think dating gets even better when you are older or is it better when you are not as old? Do you enjoy your dates now or when you were younger? (I've herd you have less energy as you get older)\nDoes dating get even better when you get older?",
"chosen": "Just some facts to think about.\n\nThe older a woman is, the more baggage, crazy, wrinkles, fat, and other men's kids she's likely to have. Harsh, but true. My username will check out HARD because you are NOT allowed to criticize women under any circumstances. Just watch, the butthurt downvotes and whiny comments (2 so far) below will prove it:\n",
"rejected": "It gets way better. \n\nFor one, your parents no longer have any say. They can't force you to break up or \"take a break\" if you do poorly at work.\n\nThere are no rules about displays of affection in the real world. Sexually repressed, middle aged teachers won't chase you down and scold you for holding hands. \n\nIt's your car to do whatever you want in, it's your phone to send whatever you want with, it's your life to do whatever you want.\n\nHang on tight kid, your 20s will be the best years of your life.\n"
},
{
"query": "I was thinking flowers or something like that. Do men enjoy receiving flowers?\nMy boyfriend's birthday is this weekend and I'd like to send him a surprise at work. Any ideas?",
"chosen": "I deliver flowers for a living. I've done it for about a year now, and I can count on one hand the amount of times that I've delivered flowers to a male that wasn't a sympathy arrangement (death in the family), or they were in the hospital. The ones that weren't sympathy or a get well arangment were very awkward, and the guy usually seemed like \"uhhh *really*?\". \n\n\nI have delivered gift baskets to guys before, and they were much happier getting that than flowers.\n\nBesides I can just imagine the kind of crap that would be said in some work environments for getting flowers.\n",
"rejected": "Personally, I love to get flowers. (Well, at least in theory, it's never happened in real life...) If I got flowers at work, I'd put them on my desk and brag to everyone who stuck their head in my office that they were a birthday present from my girlfriend, I don't care how \"unmanly\" it is.\n"
},
{
"query": "I've been told that I have a very serious face that comes off as a bit intimidating. How do I come off as more warm and inviting?\nHow do I stop looking so serious/intimidating to men?",
"chosen": "Unless you can kick my ass, you’re not intimidating. Women really need to stop telling each other that.\n",
"rejected": "Clown make up, lingerie and a leg cast will do wonders\n"
},
{
"query": "Like everything is about competition or the ego is everything\nWhat false paradigms of life did you buy into ?",
"chosen": "The problem lies in the fact that niceness and strength/confidence often come into conflict, and it's easy (and thus common) to pick one and neglect the other, even if it's entirely possible to do them both and get a reasonable balance.\n\nI agree that it's wrong to say \"being nice isn't attractive\". That's why I usually say \"niceness is fine, and in fact it's good, as long as you don't take it so far that you sacrifice other things like strength/confidence\".\n",
"rejected": "That because I was the old son I had to be married and have a kid first.\n\nYounger brother beat me to the punch, but realistically I just wasn't ready. He's much more of a homebody, I'm much more of an adventurer.\n\nBut the upside is I get to be a bomb ass uncle to a stinking cute nephew. :)\n"
},
{
"query": "My girlfriend and I found out she was pregnant in the middle of July. We’ve always had an amazing sex life and I’ve never had any issues maintaining an erection when with her. Recently she went to the beach on vacation for 5 days. While she was gone I masturbated a lot and stressed out about stuff at home involving her and her pregnancy, our apartment, etc. The first night she got back, I couldn’t get an erection. Since then, we’ve had sex a few times and about half the time I can’t get hard or hold the erection. I keep thinking back to that first night with problems. Am I screwed and is this the future of our relationship?? Should I talk to a mental health professional? I’m really freaking out. Thanks for any advice.\nHow do you deal with Erectile Dysfunction at a young age?",
"chosen": "Stop jacking off. That will solve half your problems. The other half is likely related to performance anxiety. Due to the initial event, you are subconciously conscious re: underperforming. It happens to the best of us. What you should do besides not masturbating is exercising, keeping hydrated, get good sleep, and flirt with your woman. It'll blow over.\n",
"rejected": "Happens to most guys sometimes. If you're young and healthy, 99% it's going to correct itself in a few weeks.\n\nIt's all in your head.\n"
}
] | 2
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00023174285888671875,
"logprob2": -5.125,
"signal": 5.124768257141113
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000335693359375,
"logprob2": -7,
"signal": 6.999664306640625
}
| 1.874896
| 13
|
6451
|
[
{
"query": "I just sneezed while taking a piss and got really fucking upset about it.\nWhat small thing irrationally pisses you off?",
"chosen": "People who do not follow the line marking when turning at intersections, and come into my lane. You don't cross the dotted line on straight roads, why do you have to do it at an intersection?\n",
"rejected": "Chronic throat clearers. Especially the really heavy nasty loud throat clears. It's fucking disgusting.\n"
},
{
"query": "Did you regret it? Move back? Miss home? Please share your experiences\nGents that left the US, what were your reasons?",
"chosen": "I grew up on the Quebec border and moved to the other side after school for employment reasons, plus I love Montreal. It's still basically home, but still foreign. I get the best and worst of both worlds. It's difficult when it comes to the \"code-switching\" when I cross the border to either side-everything is just slightly different, and it's frustrating when people don't understand the simple things that another person on the other side takes for granted. It's incredibly frustrating talking to Americans in the middle of the country who think the world ends at the border.\n",
"rejected": "I moved to Mexico City when I married my wife. It took about a year to get acclimated but I love it here. Have no plans to go back.\n"
},
{
"query": "It's not too often that I dress in a certain way to impress a guy but I find it interesting and sometimes helpful to know what guys aren't into lately and why?\nWhat are some current women's styles/trends that you can't stand?",
"chosen": "Bald heads.\n\nIm just not a fan.\n",
"rejected": "Nose, cheek, eyebrow, tongue, bellybutton, nipple or clit piercings. \n\nTattoos. \n\nLet me be clear. It's your body, you want them you go right ahead and be you. We'll still be friends. \n\nI just find them incredibly off putting and unattractive.\n"
},
{
"query": "I have zero intention to follow through with it. Namely because I care for the people around me, especially my SO who I could not think of hurting in that way\nWhy do I keep thinking about I could end my life?",
"chosen": "It's called intrusive thoughts. It's the same reason you sometimes think about chucking the baby you're holding or jumping off a balcony you're standing on. It happens to everyone, but as long as you understand that you shouldn't act on them, then you don't need to worry.\n",
"rejected": "Could be call of the void.\n"
},
{
"query": "Mine would be to have dueling with wax bullets like the short lived Olympic event as a legitimate way of settling beefs. It would be dramatic enough to satisfy people, but no-one would actually die. Plus it would make office drama more interesting.\nWhat archaic practice would you want to have become popular again?",
"chosen": "Non-modern architecture. All these concrete and steel buildings are the opposite of aesthetics\n",
"rejected": "Being on time to social engagements. I don't know what happened, but it's somehow become acceptable in the 20-30 age range to just casually be 15 to 45 minutes late for dates or meetings.\n"
},
{
"query": "For me it would be my sense of humor. I've \"out competed\" countless male model looking guys for hot girls because I can out-funny them\nWhat is something about you that the other guys can't compete with?",
"chosen": "My job. I'm in my early 20s and make damn good money as a military aviator. I have job security and guaranteed promotions. I'll make 100k by the time I'm 26. More importantly than the money though, I absolutely love my job and it brings a level of happiness and genuine satisfaction with my life that clearly shows in my relationships.\n",
"rejected": "I have really long eyelashes. Doesn't particularly give me an edge over anyone, but if it's a measuring contest I'd probably win.\n"
},
{
"query": "If someone you liked a lot told you they have an STD, in a very honest and intimate setting, would you back out?\n\n** One that you cant cure\nAre STDs a deal breaker for you?",
"chosen": "Depends on the kind.\n",
"rejected": "What STD? Is it treatable or curable? How did they catch it? How easily can I catch it? Does this mean we always have to use condoms for our entire relationship?\n"
},
{
"query": "I told my friend I was on first date with woman( cute woman, very funny and intelligent) I met her couple days ago and during that date she told she doesn’t see me as sexual partner because I didn’t met her requirement (Her requirement was: must have master degree, good-paying job, living in a house NOT apartment, well spoken English, travel place to place, and able to take care of her.) although she told me I didn’t met her standards, she want to continue dating me multiple time. Sadly, I told her this wasn’t right for me to continue date with her if I wasn’t able have sex with her because I didn’t met her standards. \n\nAfter I told my friend about my date, he called me an asshole because I stop dating the woman over sex. Was my friend was right that I was being an asshole toward the woman I was dating?\nMy friend told me I was asshole for ending the date with a woman because I didn’t met her requirements to have sexual relationship with her, How do I persuaded my friend that what I did was right for me ?",
"chosen": "She sounds very close minded and pretentious. Don't waste your time\n",
"rejected": "You did the right thing. \n\n\nMay I ask OP, did she have similar qualities or just ridiculously high standards for herself.\n"
},
{
"query": "How often do you go? How long is your hair? Do you use any product? Do you get any specials? How much do you usually pay?\nHow often do you get a haircut?",
"chosen": "once a year in January. New year new hair. then i let it grow and do it again the next year.\n",
"rejected": "Once a year. Grow it out then get it cut for summer.\n"
},
{
"query": "What is your key of never running out of things to talk about.\n\nI feel like I reached a point where we talked so much that I cant think of anything else to talk about except just general day stuff. I need to figure this out on how to prolong our conversations for we don't get bored and ruin the relationship.\nMen of reddit how do you keep conversations fresh with girlfriend?",
"chosen": "You focus on yourself and you help your girlfriend focus on herself. \n\nWhen there's two people constantly growing, experiencing new things, pursuing their dreams and doing things they want to do, you don't run out of conversation topics. \n\nIf you have nothing to talk about, it probably means you're not doing much to help yourself be the best you can be.\n",
"rejected": "Get her to join reddit.\n"
},
{
"query": "I personally loved it and definitely thinks it’s some of his best music yet.\nFans of Travis Scott, what did you think of Astroworld?",
"chosen": "i’m a little bit let down, some nice moments but it seems like he can’t wow me like he did with DBR and Rodeo. Travis was way better when he was Travi$\n",
"rejected": "Better than BITTSM, but I'm convinced he'll never top Days Before Rodeo.\n"
},
{
"query": "These days it seems like the topic of discussing tv shows is pretty much unavoidable. I feel a bit left out when this happens in social situations, but not interested enough to be bothered with actually watching something. I usually just keep quiet when/if it comes up, and don't volunteer the information unless pressed.\nMen in your 20s, do any of you not follow a single show? How does it go for you in social settings?",
"chosen": "32, and yeah, it's a problem. I kind of fell out of the habit of watching TV when I was in college and didn't have one.\n\nI watch some sporting events and movies and Netflix, but if you ask me about the latest episode of The Big Bang Theory or Game of Thrones or Mad Men or something, I haven't seen it. And, for those shows, I haven't seen the old ones either.\n\nI'm not pretentious about it, or I try not to be. But it's hard to say \"Oh, I don't watch television\" without sounding like \"Television is for common people.\" I mean, I don't think I'm better than anyone for not playing television. I mostly play video games instead. That's hardly high brow entertainment.\n",
"rejected": "Why would discussing TV need to be the root of a social situation? Many people do not follow sports, but a lot do and yet they find enough to converse about.\n"
}
] | 4
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000858306884765625,
"logprob2": -7,
"signal": 6.999914169311523
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00004076957702636719,
"logprob2": -4.25,
"signal": 4.249959230422974
}
| -2.749955
| 7
|
7721
|
[
{
"query": "I just sneezed while taking a piss and got really fucking upset about it.\nWhat small thing irrationally pisses you off?",
"chosen": "People who do not follow the line marking when turning at intersections, and come into my lane. You don't cross the dotted line on straight roads, why do you have to do it at an intersection?\n",
"rejected": "Chronic throat clearers. Especially the really heavy nasty loud throat clears. It's fucking disgusting.\n"
},
{
"query": "If you had to recommend a video game to someone and your life depended on them enjoying it, what would you recommend?\n\nI would recommend Bioshock and Bioshock Infinite, solely on the story itself.\n\nOther honorable mentions: \n\n\n-Skyrim\n\n-Smash Bros Ultimate\n\n-Halo CE and 2\n\nPS: if anyone has played bloodborne should i buy a playstation just to play this game lol\nWhat do you believe is the BEST video game ever made?",
"chosen": "The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time\n",
"rejected": "Mass Effect Trilogy, and within the trilogy ME3's the best\n\n&#x200B;\n\nBut Bioshock Infinite (Elizabeth might be my favorite female character in any game ever) and Persona 4 Golden are in my Top 3 as well\n"
},
{
"query": "Over this last week for Thanksgiving, my father visited. I was noticing signs of dementia. He was contantly telling the same stories over and over again. He couldn't remember things we told him even 5 minutes ago. \n\nHis mother had alzheimer's. How can I convince him to go see the doctor?\n\nBTW, he is REALLY young. He's not even 60 yet.\nHow do I convince my father that he needs to go to the doctor?",
"chosen": "Does he have insurance? When was the last time that he's been to his GP? Is he on any kind of medication?\n",
"rejected": "Tell him it was his idea to go to the doctor.\n"
},
{
"query": "This can be any exercise routine at all, whether it is daily, every other day or weekly. For context, I am a university student so won't have much money or free time to sink into this, but I don't want my body to degenerate into a fleshy pile of goop either. \nAny replies would be appreciated.\nLet's take a break from all the relationship posts here- Men, what's your exercise routine and how would you recommend an amateur get into it?",
"chosen": "5/3/1 Boring But Big\n\nI started out with Starting Strength a long time ago, and I got stronger than I ever thought was possible...after only 1 year.\n\nThen I got heavily into nutrition science, and got shredded to the bone.\n\nI enjoy pushing myself and seeing what is possible, the gains come slower now, but I still want to be the strongest I can be and I love going to the gym, lifting for an hour and then being done. I lift between 3 and 5 days a week depending on nutrition and life.\n",
"rejected": "Does your university have some sort of gym or do they offer classes? that is often the best way to stay in shape. My recommendation is for you to try out a few classes, see if you find one you like and stick to that. Running is also always a possibility and doesn't cost too much.\n\nAnyway, my schedule is always changing but for the next few months I expect it to look something like this:\nmonday: capoeira\n\ntuesday: gym + hiphop dancing\n\nwednesday: Boxing + Ballroom Dancing\n\nthursday: gym + hiphop dancing\n\nFriday: rest\n\nSaturday: Boxing+gym or running\n\nSunday: Yoga + sometimes gym\n"
},
{
"query": "So obviously no guns, lethal or not. I want close quarters combat answers, and unique ones at that. I dig use a top answer would be a baseball bat, so open up your mind a bit.\n\n\nI would maybe saw a Fire Extinguisher would be a good choice, plus it provides abkuabke safety in case of a fire. They're hefty and can project chemicals that can leave someone choking for air, allowing you to make an escape with a smoke (well, not really smoke) screen or go on the offensive while they're choking. Just make sure it's the right type of extinguisher and that it's not one of those babysized ones.\nWhat's your preferred non-projectile combat object of choice and why?",
"chosen": "I think knives are a good idea. Big fuck-off shiny ones. Knives that look like they could skin a crocodile. Knives are good 'cause they don't make any noise, and the less noise they make, the more likely we are to use 'em. Shit 'em right up. Makes it look like we're serious. Guns for show, knives for a pro.\n",
"rejected": "While you were busy picking up girls and having a normal life, I studied the *blade*. While you were in school learning practical worthwhile things, I honed my skills on the *blade*. Now that the world is on fire and everything is fucked, you come to me for protection, because I know the *blade*.\n\n/r/justneckbeardthings\n"
},
{
"query": "Examples: Water and Electricity should never be mixed, if you become lost in the woods stay put, don't try to pull a small piece of timber through a circular saw, when mixing water and acid always add the acid to the water and never the other way around, etc. Just general things to prepare any kid or teenager for adulthood.\nWhat are some important safety lessons all fathers should pass on to their kids?",
"chosen": "Teach them how to handle a gun safely.\n",
"rejected": "Honestly physics related things.\n\nKids can be really dumb when it comes to what will happen if I do X. Lots of things that seem like they might be safe, add some sort of movement into the mix and kids can get hurt pretty bad.\n\nOne time when I was growing up my friend and I were putting some particle board on the side of my 2 story treehouse. I thought it would be totally fine to drop the piece of wood since my friend was in the middle of the yard, way away from where I was dropping it. Gravity falls straight down, right? Sure, but the wind swept under it and it changed from a downward drop to a J shape curve, flying way out into the yard and hitting my friend directly in his shins. IDK how he didn't end up with 1 or 2 broken legs, tbh. I thought I was being careful at the time.\n\nWhen kids have a good grasp on physics they tend to get hurt a lot less.\n\nOh and if your kids are going to play soccer drill into their heads **DO NOT FIGHT FOR HEADERS WHEN THE BALL IS IN THE AIR.**\n\nOne of the last soccer games I referee'd 2 13-ish year old girls were going full blast 100% to fight for a ball in the air. Head contact. Hard. The girl laid down on the field unable to move for like 30 minutes or more. Went off in a stretcher from an ambulance. The girl FOR SURE had a concussion and I HOPE it was only a bad concussion because honestly I never heard the end of the story of what happened to her. All I know is everyone involved was rightly freaked out at this kid being severely hurt.\n\nTeach your kids they don't have to be 'the hatchet' as my dad used to call it. Sports are for fun and learning. If youre teaching your kids to attack and brutalize other kids youre doing a dogshit job as a parent. Unfortunately, at least where I'm from this is very common. Ive had kids do all sorts of nasty shit to me or my teammates when in sports. Ideally your kid should both not be the aggressor AND also be watching out for people like this.\n\nAnd, if they are boys; I would just go straight into Karate/Judo. And stick with it till they are \n"
}
] | 1
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000030994415283203125,
"logprob2": -9.75,
"signal": 9.749996900558472
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000141143798828125,
"logprob2": -12.25,
"signal": 12.249858856201172
}
| 2.499862
| 4
|
9109
|
[
{
"query": "I just sneezed while taking a piss and got really fucking upset about it.\nWhat small thing irrationally pisses you off?",
"chosen": "People who do not follow the line marking when turning at intersections, and come into my lane. You don't cross the dotted line on straight roads, why do you have to do it at an intersection?\n",
"rejected": "Chronic throat clearers. Especially the really heavy nasty loud throat clears. It's fucking disgusting.\n"
},
{
"query": "For me it's Nobuo Uematsu, without a doubt. Playing many of the video games he composed the music for as a kid (and even still now) so many of his pieces really evoke some strong nostalgic feelings from me, and his music is so beautifully composed and spectacular in general.\n\nAlso - there are so many! Hundreds! I don't think I'd ever get bored.\nYou can only listen to one band/artist/composer's music for the rest of your life. Who do you choose?",
"chosen": "Probably slipknot. They have a lot of songs I can relate to. If I want a softer song, I can just listen to to snuff or vermilion pt. 2. Then the rest is just to get me pumped.\n",
"rejected": "Miles Davis was had such a diverse career, I can't see why not to put him.\n"
},
{
"query": "one item in particular is this blue short sleeve sweater I love when I go grocery shopping from club Monaco I cant find another one anywhere online anymore!. \n\nI feel like I need to just take her phone for ransom until she returns it\nwhat would you do if a girl keeps taking over your favourite shirts and sweater?",
"chosen": "\"Thats theft. I would never let a girl disrespect me like that. HUGE red flag. Run.\" - some redditor\n",
"rejected": "Just give her something else you own that you care less about.\n\nAll of my boyfriend's tshirts/ sweatshirts/ sweatpants are equally oversized and cozy. I like it because it's his, not because it's a *specific* piece of clothing. \n\nJust say something like \"Hey, I need x-piece-of-clothing back for something. You can take whatever one of these sweaters to wear from my stash.\"\n\nor if she's borrowing way too many things at once \"dude, I need clothes too. I love seeing you wearing my stuff, but can you just take a coupe of things so I can still clothe my body.\"\n"
},
{
"query": "As in \"I normally like Marilyns, but right now I'm with a Jackie\"\nUsing only celebrities as examples, what is \"your type\" and how do your current and/or past SOs compare?",
"chosen": "My two top favorite, jaw dropping, heart stopping, pussy wetting celebrities are Idris Elba and Chris Hemsworth. Those are my ideal type of men.\n\nBut one of my past SOs was a Larry the Cable Guy. Another is just an average white guy... maybe the guy who plays as an extra in a movie. My current SO is an overweight Floyd Mayweather.\n",
"rejected": "My physical type for relationships seems to consistently be olive-skinned brunettes with slender legs and nicely shaped butts. If I had to name a celebrity, I'd go with Mila Kunis.\n\nPersonality-wise, I've always liked laid-back women who aren't afraid to be goofy/are comfortable who they are.\n\nMy wife's a goofy, fun, caring olive-skinned brunette with legs for days and a beautiful butt, so I'd say she fits my type to a tea.\n"
},
{
"query": "My friends and I were talking about that recently, all of them (male) said it was a no go. They said maybe meet at the middle with a hyphen last name: ex. Joseph Gordon-Levitt \n\nWould this be a deal-breaker for anyone? If she was unwilling to meet in the middle\n\nJust wondering what everyone else thought.\nWhat would you do if your wife wanted the kids to carry her last name?",
"chosen": "Hyphenate would probably be what I'd suggest. I don't care if my wife switches names, but I would want my kids to have my family name in some way.\n",
"rejected": "Well, seeing as her family has a rather \"ringing\" name around these parts and that would help our kid get ahead in life, no problem.\n\nHyphenation would also be OK.\n"
},
{
"query": "I just got a gift card from work for that amount and was wondering what would be a good purchase for about that much money.\n\nSomething in the gadget category would be ideal.\n\nDisclaimer: Not a fan of Apple products.\nFellow gents, what would you buy for approximately $450?",
"chosen": "- New graphics card\n\n- New speakers\n\n- New monitor\n\n- Chromebook(s)\n\n- Mechanical keyboard\n\n- New desk\n\n- New chair (herman miller Aeron)\n\n- Tempur-Pedic mattress pad (nothing else compares, changed my life)\n\n*Note that you probably can't buy all the things on this list with $450\n",
"rejected": "You could get a pretty great point and shoot camera for that price.\n"
},
{
"query": "Assuming she broke up with you. Also assuming you didn't \"fight\" for her.\nAfter a break up, has a girl ever said \"You should have fought for me\"?",
"chosen": "Ex-wife started an online fling with some guy and pulled this one on me later. Needless to say, everything was my fault in that relationship.\n",
"rejected": "After 10 years with my ex-wife she started talking about divorce. I was devastated. I begged, pleaded and tried to change everything about me that she didn't like for the next 8 months. This included physical things like wardrobe and haircut to the way I spoke to her and how I treated her friends. I totally quit playing video games, fishing and my comic book collection got put into storage and was treated like something to be ashamed of. After 8 months of this shit I finally said, \"fuck it I am done go get the damn divorce and never talk to me again.\" One of the last things she told me was that I didn't try hard enough, I laughed in her face. That was 5 years ago, and now I am happier than I ever remember being in my whole life.\n"
},
{
"query": "I just today had to issue a medical withdrawal to my college due to depression. I’m really feeling hopeless, and just kinda hope someone can share a story where they were able to either return to their education or become successful outside of the degree from a similar situation.\nMen who have had to leave college, how did it turn out?",
"chosen": "I dropped out for similar reasons. I spent 3 of the 5 darkest years of my life in college, not knowing what to do and being depressed, switching majors at least 8 times, ending up on academic probation twice. I figured that if I couldn't commit to a major by my third year, I was done wasting money.\n\nI can't and won't speak for others, but I come from a stereotypical Asian family where higher education was everything. I faced a lot of stigma when I came home empty-handed, on top of beating myself up over my failure. Fortunately, a lot of people were eventually able to look past that. I worked a couple of shitty jobs before I found a job I liked that gives me benefits and 2 types of bonuses.\n\nIf those 3 out of 5 years have taught me anything, it's that it's important to be going for the right reasons. I think I went just because it was expected of me, not for me personally. I think about going back someday when I have the right reasons because I only need to complete a major now, but I think don't think slaying this great beast and putting it to rest is a good enough reason. You can't heal where you got sick, and I'm afraid of being sick again lol.\n\nIf I could give advice, it's to not beat yourself up. Psyche yourself up for a comeback, ingrain it in your head, even if you don't believe in it, and then work for it. Also, when something looks overwhelming, dismantle it visually/mentally and then work at it piece by piece, one step at a time; it's a hell of a lot less stressful when you do lol. Constantly improve yourself.\n\nDo what makes you happy.\n",
"rejected": "Several of my friends were forced to take year long medical leaves. One returned and ended up graduating with us, in many ways it felt like he'd never left. He described the experience as one of the best things that could have happened to him, he took the time to collect himself and came back a better man. Decently high up software engineer at a company I wouldn't mind working for myself. \n\nAnother spent his time in Chile on a farm doing odd jobs. He had a similar retrospective thanks for the ordeal. Graduated near the top of his class, went to Stanford for a PhD in one of the most prestigious programs in his field.\n\nIt's quite possible to bounce back if you return at full force.\n"
},
{
"query": "A lot of women complain about men not taking no for an answer when it comes to rejection, if you’ve been one of these men or are one of these men, what has been your reasoning behind your response?\nThis isn’t aimed at all men but if you’ve dealt with rejection negatively, why?",
"chosen": "The one time I handled it negatively, I was being lead on a lot. To the point that this girl was all over me, slept in the same bed as me one night, and woke me up just to passionately kiss me. So I asked her out and she said she wasn't into me. Made zero sense and it short circuited my brain so much that it made me angry that she rejected me, instead of being happy that I got something out of that friendship. It also didn't help that it was shortly after my relationship with a super abusive woman ended.\n",
"rejected": "I’m a man and I deal with rejection just fine.\n"
},
{
"query": "One of the big Internet stereotypes is a Nice Guy. He's passive, bad with women, tends to get upset when they're not attracted to his qualities like kindness. \n\nI've heard a couple of theories on this. A lot of Reddit believes it's because these guys are actually sexists and manipulative people. Others are more sympathetic. What do you think causes Nice Guys to behave like they do?\nIn your opinion, what causes \"Nice Guy syndrome\"?",
"chosen": "Unwillingness to take risks, fear of rejection, desire to be wanted the most, and growing up on a steady diet of being told that being nice will get you what you want and every single woman is a special and fully formed person with thoughts and feelings and you have to care about them all.\n\nAdd in a mix of not working out, poor diet, and spending more time playing vidya than socialising and learning to dust themselves off when they get knocked, and you've got yourself a Nice Guy.\n",
"rejected": "Former Nice Guy here. I had no idea how to attract women and when I asked my friends (girls really liked having a guy friend that didn't hit on them. Which made me feel special. Which is *not* the same as attraction) they told me to listen, be nice (like a martyr), don't hit on a women that doesn't want it (I couldn't tell either way, so it became \"don't hit on women\"), and \"just be yourself\" and eventually someone would come along and want me.\n\nYeah, that never happened. It was all crap. Here's a crappy analogy, because I love crappy analogies.\n\nDon't ask a deer how to hunt deer. The deer doesn't think about how to hunt itself. And definitely don't get mad at the deer for giving you terrible advice.\n\nAsk a hunter.\n\nMy advice for Nice Guys?\n\nStop focusing on external things, like women. Focus on becoming your best self. Stand up for yourself. Set realistic boundaries for your time and your energy. Value yourself above the girl you are interested in. If you are friends with a girl and want more, tell them immediately. Don't be ashamed of your natural impulses. Don't hide the fact that you're a normal male with normal male urges, and you crave intimacy just like everyone else.\n\nThe worst that can happen is she'll say no and not be your friend anymore. But if you want more from her and don't tell her, then you are already not her friend anymore, and you are disrespecting her choice in the matter.\n\nSave yourself the years of pining and heartache. Be honest with people. And never take it personally when they're not interested. It's not their responsibility to be attracted to you. Take personal responsibility for your own level of attractiveness, and work *hard* to increase that level.\n\nAnd for fuck's sake, stop complaining. It is an attraction killer, and it does nothing but waste time. You've got one life to live, quit wasting those precious days. Quit bitching about problems. Focus on creating solutions.\n\nLearn another language. Travel. Work out. Meet new and interesting people. Become an interesting, attractive \n"
}
] | 1
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00000762939453125,
"logprob2": -8.375,
"signal": 8.374992370605469
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000006556510925292969,
"logprob2": -12.5,
"signal": 12.499993443489075
}
| 4.125001
| 8
|
9819
|
[
{
"query": "I just sneezed while taking a piss and got really fucking upset about it.\nWhat small thing irrationally pisses you off?",
"chosen": "People who do not follow the line marking when turning at intersections, and come into my lane. You don't cross the dotted line on straight roads, why do you have to do it at an intersection?\n",
"rejected": "Chronic throat clearers. Especially the really heavy nasty loud throat clears. It's fucking disgusting.\n"
},
{
"query": "Assuming she broke up with you. Also assuming you didn't \"fight\" for her.\nAfter a break up, has a girl ever said \"You should have fought for me\"?",
"chosen": "Ex-wife started an online fling with some guy and pulled this one on me later. Needless to say, everything was my fault in that relationship.\n",
"rejected": "After 10 years with my ex-wife she started talking about divorce. I was devastated. I begged, pleaded and tried to change everything about me that she didn't like for the next 8 months. This included physical things like wardrobe and haircut to the way I spoke to her and how I treated her friends. I totally quit playing video games, fishing and my comic book collection got put into storage and was treated like something to be ashamed of. After 8 months of this shit I finally said, \"fuck it I am done go get the damn divorce and never talk to me again.\" One of the last things she told me was that I didn't try hard enough, I laughed in her face. That was 5 years ago, and now I am happier than I ever remember being in my whole life.\n"
},
{
"query": "So, when I was a senior in HS, I started dating a girl who was a sophomore( I was 17/18 and she was 16) and it worked out pretty well. We continued on from HS into college and know I'm a sophomore and she's a senior. I'm going to turn 20 and was wondering, is this relationship considered common/fine? I always hear about creepy guys in their 20's going after HS girls and I don't want to be lumped into that category.\nWhat are your thoughts on continuing a relationship from HS into college?",
"chosen": "You were dating her when you were both in HS so it isn’t much of a problem in my eyes, also, you aren’t going after her if she is already yours. You are only 2 years apart and that isn’t that much.\n",
"rejected": "You're less than 2 years older than her, there is nothing creepy about that, when people talk about people in their 20s going after highschool girls, they're thinking about 22+ year olds going after 16-17 year olds.\n"
},
{
"query": "Long story short, I am utterly mad about one of my colleagues, he hasn't told me he has a girlfriend but as I learnt when he added me on facebook, he has a girlfriend in America (we're in Britain) yet he flirts with me all the time. I don't want to harm their relationship, but I think about him all the time so I am rather quietly hopeful, and I know how horrible it sounds I feel horrible for it. But anyway, what are your pros and cons in long dist relationships. If you're in one, how do you overcome the issues? Thank you!\nMen, what are your personal pros and cons of long distance relationships?",
"chosen": "Pro: relationship\n\nCon: long distance\n",
"rejected": "Con: Your girlfriend isn't around. \n\nPro: Your girlfriend isn't around.\n"
},
{
"query": "Since we have a thread for the opposite, let's hear some positives about some lesser known cities.\nWhat's the most underrated city you've visited?",
"chosen": "Asheville, NC is a really cool small city.\n",
"rejected": "I loved Cleveland. It has the feel of a big city but without the traffic and huge, suffocating crowds (I'm from Chicago). Right by the lake, all four sports stadiums right next to each other, reasonable prices, I don't understand the hate.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm interested in the perspectives of each party in these sort of relationships!\nWomen and men who believe in traditional gender roles in relationships: What do you get out of the relationship? What do you expect your partner to put in?",
"chosen": "The frustrating thing in my experience is that some women want the best of both worlds. They'll play that 'Be a man' card when it suits them. Like wise they'll say 'It's 2017 stop acting like a caveman.'. It's a manipulation tactic whether they're doing it consciously or not.\n",
"rejected": "If/when we have kids I believe that at least one parent needs to care for the children full time. Due to the nature of the industry that i work in, it would be entirely possible for me and my hypothetical partner to alternate yearly as the breadwinner and main parent respectively.\n\nAlso no question my children MUST carry my last name. Which surprisingly has been claimed to be my most controversial view.\n"
},
{
"query": "Extreme in the sense that sometimes one wrongly puts more or at least too much blame on oneself wrt a situation and how it turned out or decision they made or had to make\nDo you take extreme ownership/responsibility for your actions? How has that worked out for you in life and mentally?",
"chosen": "No. I'm not Jocko Willink.\n",
"rejected": "Define \"extreme\".\n\nI know when I mess up. I admit my mistakes and, instead of coming up with excuses, I go and try to fix it, if possible. If not - I face the consequences. Either way, I make sure to learn from my missteps.\n\nIt is what it is. It's better than trying to convince both myself and others that whatever happened wasn't my fault. I'd rather face trouble than lie to myself or others.\n"
},
{
"query": "Looking to expand on some new experiences. Personally, I would recommend skydiving, eating sushi and getting waxed.\nWhat is something everyone in this sub should try at least once?",
"chosen": "Jump off a cliff (a safe tested one of course)\nSuch an amazing feeling, so much adrenaline!\n",
"rejected": "Spend a few days in the wilderness.\n"
},
{
"query": "Per the discussion in another thread: The requirement for males in America is that they must register between the ages of eighteen and twenty-six for Selective Service--to not do so is illegal. However, there are certain circumstances where some men do not qualify (ie. immigrants arriving over age 26, mental/physical disability or impairment). What is your story?\nU.S. Redditors: Did any of you not register for Selective Service? What happened?",
"chosen": "I have never heard of this and I was born and raised in the US. I know I can’t serve even if this is in fact true because I have a metal plate and screws in me.\n",
"rejected": "the people here who don't recall probably did it as part of the litany of paperwork that comes with highschool graduation/college registration. you can't get federal student aid if you don't.\n"
},
{
"query": "My morning commute is littered with reasonably well dressed men wearing tattered backpacks, some which look like they came straight out of dumpsters. Surely white collar guys can afford something nice, so why cart around your son's dirty gym bag? Is it a code? Do they not give a single heck? Help me out here, I must know WHY.\nbusinessmen wearing sh*tty backpacks, WHY?",
"chosen": "I personally would never wear one going into the office, but I don't care what anyone else does. Now I stand out because I have a smart looking leather bag/briefcase that I wear across my chest while traveling and then carry as a briefcase when walking into the office.\n",
"rejected": "Another issue is that the perfect backpack is stupidly difficult to find sometimes. Most people are pretty specific about size, comfort, types of pockets, etc so it can take a while to find a replacement. It's enough of a hassle though that most people, myself included, just end up holding on to the ratty one for a lot longer until they absolutely have to deal with finding a replacement.\n"
}
] | 1
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00001049041748046875,
"logprob2": -7.25,
"signal": 7.2499895095825195
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000263214111328125,
"logprob2": -5.375,
"signal": 5.374736785888672
}
| -1.875253
| 8
|
3916
|
[
{
"query": "No restrictions on era, sport, etc. As long as it is a real person living or dead, what defines a great athlete is left open ended.\nWho is the greatest athlete of all time, and why do you think that?",
"chosen": "Bo Jackson. Cmon now let's not kid ourselves here. Would've been a HOFer in both MLB and NFL if he stayed healthy. Bigger,faster,stronger than anyone on the field. Any sport he would've gone into he would've excelled. \n\nBo Knows\n",
"rejected": "**Michael Schumacher**\n\n- Not only because he was a great Formula 1 driver, but he helped a lot in research and it was at the factory working with engineers 12 hours/day. (he has over 20 brevets small inventions in road security and stuff like that)\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm nearly 40 and I am a work from home software engineer. Looks don't matter to me much. Most of my cloths I bought when I was 23 to 25 and the rest are random star wars, disney and marvel shirts family keep buying me.\n\nWhere do I shop for jeans? Good looking fitted shirts and stuff that mak me look 40ish instead of 14?\nWhere do grown men (25-40+) with decent style shop for clothes, and what do you wear?",
"chosen": "Wear whatever the fuck you want, and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.\n",
"rejected": "My wife says that it looks like a toddler picked my cloths out that I wear. I’m 37 years old. She’s probably right but I also think a toddler picked how she thinks each and everyday.\n"
},
{
"query": "Mine isn’t that hard to explain. We all know those bouncers in nightclubs you see in cartoons or comedies or whatever. You know, big, burly, broad-shouldered black guy that looks *mean*. Then they speak and for whatever reason their voice sounds like a dogs squeaky toy and are sometimes stupidly soft spoken, and happens to be a an emotional hugger with a heart of gold? or something along those lines... \n\nYeah, I’m afraid to say I embody exactly this and my voice never caught the drift that I went through puberty. Definitely a hugger not a fighter. My application to be the baddest guy to step onto the football field was apparently rejected and here I am, a big ass guy who likes cats, writing music, hates violence and prefers to talk it out instead of fighting (black Buddha as a friend once told me in high school) . Gotta say though, I’m fine with this.\nDo you happen to fulfill a stereotype or trope in anyway? If you do, what is it?",
"chosen": "The girl everybody underestimates because she likes pink and wearing skirts and heels on a daily basis. Ugh.\n",
"rejected": "I wear a lot of plaide shirts, like indie music, play piano/guitar/uke, like hanging out in cafes, do not drink alcohol/do drugs and wear beanies/hats.\n\nHelp! Am I turning Hipster?\n"
},
{
"query": "I’m most curious about those who got hitched after less than 6 months.\nMen who married their SO after a short time dating, how did that turn out for you?",
"chosen": "She finally told me 10 years later she only was with me cause I was tall and skinny and I had good genes to make babies.\n\nWe got engaged 10 months after meeting and 6 months after that married\n",
"rejected": "Married after six months dating\n\nJanuary 1st it will be 40 years married\n\nFour kids and 10 grandchildren later we are still happily married. \n\nI won the lottery.\n"
},
{
"query": "With E3 happening my wallet is looking sad for the future. I'm an Xbox One owner and am looking forward to Battlefield 1, Titanfall 2, Recore (possibly), Scalebound (maybe... the E3 content wasn't too great), For Honor, and probably CoD. I always say I won't buy the next CoD, but I always do. I actually like Black Ops 3.\nWhat upcoming video games within the next year are you excited about?",
"chosen": "Prey (although it's out in 2017). Footage wasn't as cool as original e3, but still should be interesting.\n",
"rejected": "The new Zelda looks really solid.\n"
},
{
"query": "My family is Polish, and naturally my last name is hard to pronounce - let alone spell. I’m also assimilation complete as I identify as an American since I was born and raised here. I don’t even speak Polish. \n\nNormally this wouldn’t be much of an issue, but in my career (medical doctor), I’m going to be referred to by my last name by my patients almost exclusively. Some people in my life have mentioned that name recognition is actually pretty important in medicine, which makes me wonder if changing my name ( or at least truncating it) would be worth it. \n\nThoughts?\nMen with long, confusing ”ethnic” last names, what is your opinion on changing your name?",
"chosen": "Dr. K or Dr. L is the easiest thing around this. Coach K is a great example. Coach K or, Mike Krzyzewski, pronounced Sha-chef-ski, just goes by Coach K.\n",
"rejected": "Ukrainian Canadian here. My last name looks easy, but it’s amazing how many people can’t pronounce it. I’m proud of my heritage, and the accomplishments of my family, as I’m sure you are of yours, I would never change my last name for the reason you are considering it.\n"
},
{
"query": "So I've been talking to this girl for 2-3 weeks. Not gonna lie, she's cute af but she's how do i say different. I don't know if she's bipolar or just a bitch sometimes. Like we're texting and i have to go and she'll tell me to stay and give her attention. Eventually when i text her a few hours later she becomes a bitch (\"oh now you wanna talk\" or \"go text some other bitch\"). I aint got no other bitches haha. Sometimes she's fine and we'll text like normal but other times its like what i said above. Ive never been in a relationship so idk what the fuck is happening.\nHow to deal with girls who think they're princesses?",
"chosen": "King that chick. If she wanna be a princess she gotta respect the King.\n",
"rejected": "How to deal with them? That's difficult man. Women like this have been conditioned from a very early age so basically it's part of their character. My gf who is a lot younger than me is exactly the same. Only today she questioned me why it took me so long to reply to a text..\n....i was at work. Any reasonable person would of realised that but not her. When you delve into their background and ask questions you can normally see a pattern. My gf dad basically treated her like a princess. Even when she was been rude or nasty he still treated her this way. \n\nFrom what your saying it could also be a bit of insecurity and neediness. But it still not healthy especially in a relationship. \n\nSo my advice would be not to accept it. If she gets bitchy call her out on it. It should work in your favour cause if you do it in a stern manly way and not a shitty way it will be attractive to her. She wants to feel a man's strength and not for him to be her bitch. So if you think your strong enough then go for it but be warned that she may not change and she may get worse so keep a distance and take things slow. Nip it in the bud now and see how she reacts. If she gets worse then move on man cause she will cause you a lot of hassle.\n"
},
{
"query": "I am close to marriage age. I was watching a documentary on Netflix that kinda has me a little more scared of such an commitment than I was before, from the way I seen how celebrities like Kobe and other men were cleaned out. Thats scary in some ways.\n\n \n \nBut that brings something up. Why didn't those male celebrities also get a Prenuptial Agreement? Had to be a reason that even they didn't do it. They have money for legal advice from the best personal lawers, who would have likely suggested it unless there was a bad side to it that they told them to no do it. \n \nthats what I want to know of. Whats the reasons a Man shouldn't get a prenuptial agreement? \n \nOr do you think all men should get one? Opinions/Advice appreciated.\nHi Men! Question: is there a reason a Man shouldn't get a Prenuptial Agreement?",
"chosen": "If your future wife is super rich.\n",
"rejected": "Depending on the state a judge can basically decide it doesn't matter and throw it out of consideration. \n\nIt's also planning for failure which, for me, isn't something I want in a relationship.\n"
},
{
"query": "Hello Askmen, I have a problem and would like some much needed advice. I am in university and have the charisma of a potato. You've heard this story before. Awkward as fuck, spaghetti in pockets. \n\nSituation: Like this guy. He's super cool, super intelligent, seems really nice, and has the best smile in the world. He's in three of my classes, but I can never really find a time to talk to him.\n\nProblem: I'm nervous as hell. I have never asked a guy out, and since I have no experience with going out of my way to meet people, I have no idea of how to go about it. I added him on Facebook but he barely goes on, so I would feel weird messaging him when he doesn't even go online. As for classes, he usually sits alone with music or studies so I don't really feel right bothering him. \n\nWhat should I do? I will regret this if I don't go for it, but I need some help for this situation. I want to have the courage to befriend and maybe even ask him out. Is there a way to approach him without seeming creepy or forced?\nHey Askmen, how do you go about befriending guys?",
"chosen": "You need to at least talk to him. You guys share multiple classes, so you should be able to handle at least that much. Chat him up and then ask him if he wants to go out for a drink.\n",
"rejected": "You do the same activity as them and then drink a beer with them afterwards.\n"
},
{
"query": "In high school and university everybody has essentially the same socio-economic status. It's not possible to compare houses, jobs, cars, wives or children because nobody has these things.\n\n\nAs you progressed through your 20s and 30s, the divergence increases as everybody is earning full time and no longer in education.\n\n\nThe question is, when you see a friend who you haven't seen since high school, how much attention is drawn to how successful each of you are? Is there any competition - subtle or obvious? Is it weird?\nGuys over 25 - do you find yourself comparing your life with friends from school?",
"chosen": "Always. My best friend is married, has a nice place and has a great job (Not saying mine isn't great, but he is better off than I am - He is 25). A guy on my old hockey team just bought a house, making a lot more than I (Programmer - I am in IT) and is getting married soon. \n \nI am here, 27, single, living with my parents.\n",
"rejected": "28 here. \n\nI see a lot of people who are married off, kids, new houses, etc.\n\nFor the first couple of seconds, I honestly get bothered. But then remember that we're all trying to live life here and that everyone's story is different.\n\nSo no, not really.\n"
},
{
"query": "So ive been playing ice hockey for about 9 years now. I play in the \"best\" league as a goalie. But i just dont feel like i have the passion for the sport i loved anymore and the motivation is just not there, and high school is about to start in two weeks and im already a bit stressed about everything. It takes about 20-30 minutes to drive to the hockey trainings and i have about 6-10 practises a week. Another reason i dont really want to play hockey anymore is that my teammates are not counting on me at all. And sometimes they just say some pretty mean things to me lmao. Ive talked to coaches but nothing has been done. And still my parents, and the coaches are counting on me to do it. And i still love working out, going to the gym and i have a new passion and that is to become a commercial pilot, been intrested about flying for 5 years already but now it has become a passion and something i want to do. I havent talked about this with anyone yet but just want to hear some opinions.\nHow do i quit a sport i dont enjoy anymore but some important people are still counting on me to do it?",
"chosen": "I assume that your team carries 2 goalies. So if you were to quit, would the coaches be able to find another to replace you? Also how many games do you play in a season? If you quit and they can't find another, would your partner be able to handle the entire season and practice? If not then I'm going against the grain and say you have to grind it out and play for this last season. Sometimes we have to bite the bullet and do things, even if you don't feel like it, because people depend on you. In your case you play the most important position on the ice.\n",
"rejected": "Fellow hockey player here who played at a high level. Three factors come to mind that non hockey people rarely realize unless they’ve played at a high level: \n\n1) Goaltenders are often weird. Not in a bad way, but you guys are a separate breed in and of itself. It sounds to me like your teammates are just having fun and doing some lighthearted chirps but you’re still young and may not be the most secure in this. Realize they probably aren’t trying to be mean to you; it’s just how we have fun as guys. \n\n2) Goalies are the most important players on the ice; you can single handedly steal games so you’re definitely important. It can be tough facing that speeding rubber all night, is your defense not doing it’s part? Almost all goalies are heated if they have to deal with odd man rushes all night.\n\n3) How much do you enjoy being one of the boys? As you know hockey is all about bonding with the guys on the team. The camaraderie and brotherhood out there is something people who haven’t played high level team sports just don’t realize. There are lots of guys who don’t thrive in the locker room environment with a bunch of rowdy athletes. Do you just not feel comfortable in this world? If so, a lot of younger kids stop playing sports once their teenage years hit for this reason.\n\nI see you’re based in Finland and you say you’re in the highest league. You Finns are a factory at producing the best netminders. Are you the next Pekka Rinne? If so, don’t quit! Assuming this isn’t the case, I would consider taking a season off since you sound burnt out.\n"
},
{
"query": "Reading some of the threads on here, they're too focused on relationships! Tell us about a time where you were happy you didn't have a gf. \n\nA friend of mine broke up with his crazy controlling gf last year and to cheer him up, a buddy and I started working on plans to take him to Vegas. A week later, they got back together and she had \"vetoed\" the trip, saying she wouldn't let him go to Vegas with us because she doesn't trust us with him. \n\nI felt sorry for him on so many levels. glad I didn't have someone I had to consult with before going on a trip. Past that, felt bad for him that he defined his life during that time by his relationship with her to the point where he would allow her to define his relationship with his friends and veto a trip. \n\nSo, what's your story about being happy single?\nSingle men, stop feeling sorry for yourselves! Tell us about a time you were happy you weren't in a relationship?",
"chosen": "Whenever I just sit down and play a video game from start to finish. I like that shit more than is healthy.\n",
"rejected": "Last time I was single- being on tour with my band, and our buddies in another, driving up and down the country playing shows, getting shirtless and jumping around. Good times.\n"
}
] | 2
|
{
"logprob1": -9.5367431640625e-7,
"logprob2": -4.75,
"signal": 4.749999046325684
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00005888938903808594,
"logprob2": -8,
"signal": 7.999941110610962
}
| 3.249942
| 9
|
128586
|
[
{
"query": "As you might notice from my flair (or from my previous post), I am possibly FtM. I've grown up, obviously, with people using she/her/hers pronouns for me. I have never really felt discomfort at all with those pronouns. I don't have any feelings toward them, at all, tbh. It's just..meh. I'm used to it, and so it doesn't bother me. Recently, a few close friends have started using he/him/his pronouns for me per my request, and I actually do like it. But, maybe it's because it's just something new, for me?\n\nSo, I guess my question is this...does it bother most trans people (before they come out) when the \"old\" pronouns were used for them? Or, for some trans folk, is it kinda like, \"eh, whatever\" and not really have any feelings, good or bad, attached to it?\nQuestion about pronouns",
"chosen": "Some people get bothered, some people don't.\n\nYou do you.\n",
"rejected": "The longer I identify as trans the worse my reaction is to being referred to as she/her. At first it didn't bother me but I can only take so much now. It varies for everyone.\n"
},
{
"query": "This thread is for individual style questions that you may have, especially those that don't warrant their own thread. We all want a diversified opinion, so feel free to answer any questions (of which you know the answer). To get the best responses, please include any relevant details such as your budget, where you live, and what stores are avaliable to you.\n\nExample questions: What are your favorite black boots <$250? What should I wear on a date (or to another specific event)? Are there any good white t-shirts?\nDaily Questions - March 29, 2019",
"chosen": "I’m good at shopping for literally everything but blouses. I have no idea where to look. I went to the mall yesterday and found myself getting so frustrated with every shirt I tried on. Where do you get your favorite “jeans and a nice top” top? \n\nFor reference I have a long torso. 5’8” 165 lbs\n",
"rejected": "I have pretty bad scarring on the backs of both my shoulders, particularly on the upper part of the shoulder blades (basically the part of the back that shows when you wear a racerback/sports bra). While I'd love to have the self confidence to own them and show them, I'm not at that point yet...but I really want to wear strappy dresses! What are your favorite shirts to layer under strappy items? Alternatively, are there any brands you know of that have items that cover the back but are still trendy/interesting? Any advice would be appreciated! :)\n"
},
{
"query": "Hey, guys! Sorry I've been kind of spotty on posting this recently. I started a new job, and I tend to have meetings from, like, 10am onward.\n\nPost something for which you would like to find some inspiration (ex. maxi dresses or pencil skirts) or just post some looks that inspire you!\nPost & Request Inspiration Photos",
"chosen": "I'm looking for some inspiration photos for activewear. I would like to develop a solid wardrobe of active clothes (running tights that don't necessarily look like it, slouchy tops, knits, layers, etc.) that I can wear every day. I'm not sure if this is descriptive enough, but I'm having a hard time finding inspiration photos. Everything I have found on pinterest is straight forward workout gear that I wouldn't necessarily want to wear to the grocery store or dropping kids off at school. Thanks in advance!\n",
"rejected": "Plus-sized minimalist fall inspo?\n"
},
{
"query": "I've had the worst luck with spending long hours playing MMOs both at my desk on my desktop and in bed with my laptop. At my desk I have this old wicker chair with a ripped \"cushion\" and I can't afford a new chair.\n\nIn bed I need to use a mouse with my laptop so I have to lie on my right side, pile up pillows behind my back and under my mouse arm, and then just kind of play all twisted and uncomfortable. Not to mention the back problems, I'm not getting any younger. :p\n\nThere's got to be a better way. Has anyone found it?\nHas anyone found a comfortable position for PC gaming in bed?",
"chosen": "In bed? I prop a ton of pillows up on the headboard, then another firm pillow under my knees.\n",
"rejected": "I use a light but huge flat wooden bead sorting tray, plus lots of pillows. They also sell actual \"laptop desks\"- both in beside-the-bed/couch hospital types, and truly lap top varieties- that I'd imagine would be perfect for it.\n"
},
{
"query": "I went to support group a yesterday and was told by the person running it \"you are feminizing to quickly. I'm worried, you shouldn't be this far ahead.\"\n\nThere's only two other transgirls that show up occasionally (monthly meetings). One of them is apparently on a super low dose (from 1mg/day to 2mg a day at 6 months) and still T dominate. I'm not even sure the other is on HRT. Neither of them are putting in any vocal work, so of course compared to those two I seem like I'm blazing ahead.\n\nI'm doing DIY due to being on my parents insurance and them not being supportive, which has gotten me serious pushback in the group. But I kinda like being DIY cause it's given me access to cypro and allowed me to control my own dosage via bloodtest information (currently at 2mg 4x a day).\n\nI do plan on going legit soon-ish cause DIY is $$$. But even then, i'm going to push hard for injections and my current dose levels. I also plan to stay on DIY cypro cause it's illegal here in the states.\n\nI talked to a few friends who have been around in the community for nearly a decade. They told me to tell him off, that i'm doing just fine. I'd have to say I agree, it seems like the group has bought into the \"slow and low\" method, which is BS designed to placate trans people.\nmy support group is gatekeepy?",
"chosen": "I thought I was getting a similar talk recently from another transwoman, at least that’s how it started out. After listening for a bit I realized that her main concern wasn’t that I was feminizing too quickly, but that it wouldn’t be very long before I could pass for cis, and she wanted to know whether or not I would still come around whether I went stealth or not. Most of the people in her group are older and non passing, and I guess previous trans girls had left once they fully transitioned. \n\nHard to say if that’s what your conversation was about, but very weird for someone to imply that they had more insight into your transition than you do.\n",
"rejected": "Honestly, it just sounds like they're jealous of your progress and trying to hold you back. If you can't find a better group, maybe just be more selective about what you share. That really shouldn't be something you need to do in a support group, but sometimes it is.\n"
},
{
"query": "I came out to my mom on Mother's day, Sunday, and she was was very accepting. I have my older Lesbian sister to thank for making it easier for me to do. I feel very lucky. \n\nDo you have a LGBTQ+ family member that blazed a path for you or helped you out in a big way?\nDid anyone in your family come out before you, making it easier for you?",
"chosen": "I think I'm that person in my family. I'm the second oldest cousin next to my brother, and I feel like me being bisexual and transgender has kindof shown my cousins how accepting my family are and that it's okay to be LGBT.\n",
"rejected": "Both my older brothers are gay, but it still didn’t make it any easier for me to come out as trans :”) mainly because it was just irrational fear.\n"
},
{
"query": "Anyone else already have weird interactions in college/school in general? Or any recent weird stories you'd like to share? Here's mine:\n\nSo I'm MTF but still in the closet (for the most part) publicly, only my family and close friends know. Just started the first day of my last semester before I focus full time on transitioning for a while to hopefully come back as the real me. But I am going through the semester still mostly portraying as a boy. But I am growing out my hair, I have long well kept nails that I use clear coat/protection nail polishes on and I am wearing more feminine clothing not full on obviously girl wear but more towards androgynous to make myself feel better and what I thought wouldn't get any attention.\n\nI did get several weird looks especially at my hands because, but I thought it's just in my head or it's just that they're slightly confused but nothing to worry about. But, I sit down for my last class of the day, a talkative girl sits beside me and we talk for a little while before the professor comes in and starts. We have a pretty pleasant conversation, but the direction of the conversation is more like two girls talking rather than what my past experiences have been which are more like they're thinking \"I am talking to a guy I can't act flirty, have to be dry\" or \"I am going to act super flirty\" which feels great honestly, one of the only conversations I've had with a girl I didn't know without feeling like I am being immediately assumed as a possible mate or something. I just figured she thought I was a feminine gay man or some other stereotype people like to assume, but I don't care because I think there's no way she could think I'm trans. But after the class ends I turn to her to say see you next class because she was nice and I like to be friendly with the students around me, she immediately says \"Do you do your nails?\" I just say \"Oh, oh yeah I do.\" (trying to be super casual like) her \"So you paint your nails? You clear coat your nails?\" me \"Yeah... Yeah I do...\" her \"Sorry to seem creepy I just saw your nails and thought 'those look way longer than they should be' why do you keep them so long why do you paint your nails?\" me \"I just like to keep them well kept.\" her (with a super like wtf/weirded out face) \"Okaaaay?.. Okay?.. I guess, see you next class.\" This is in the middle of a cramped class room with students trying to get out all around us and she was very loud...\n\nAre even subtle things like nails that obvious? I'm sure she didn't think \"this is a trans person.\" But either way I was treated a bit like an alien... I really don't want to trim my nails or stop using clear polish because they're my favorite physical thing about myself right now and are a great source of determination/strength for me. But I don't think I want to have to explain myself or be bombarded with questions that draw attention to me all semester...\nFirst day of school = first day of stares and questions... \"Do you do your nails?\", \"Yes.\", Why?\", \".....\"",
"chosen": "ugh fuck her. thats some annoying shit. that wasnt even subtle. that was straight up fucking rude of her.\n",
"rejected": "I'm not going to make excuses for the girl she pushed way to hard but i would like to give you some advice for next time, don't cover it up own it. she could tell that you were lying that's why she reacted that way. but if you just own it there are enough cis guys that like to paint there nails no one is going to really care.\n"
},
{
"query": "I like to wear leggings to do quick errands on my days off but after gaining weight I don’t feel comfortable or confident in them anymore. What other bottoms can I wear?\nWhat is a comfortable alternative to leggings and yoga pants?",
"chosen": "Madewell Roadtripper Jeans\nThey look like regular denim but feel like leggings. So comfortable but less form-fitting than leggings.\n",
"rejected": "I have a pair of the dress pant yoga pants from betabrand and despite their truly stupid marketing etc. I love these pants.\n"
},
{
"query": "This thread is for individual style questions that you may have, especially those that don't warrant their own thread. We all want a diversified opinion, so feel free to answer any questions (of which you know the answer). To get the best responses, please include any relevant details such as your budget, where you live, and what stores are avaliable to you.\n\nExample questions: What are your favorite black boots <$250? What should I wear on a date (or to another specific event)? Are there any good white t-shirts?\nDaily Questions - June 21, 2019",
"chosen": "Has anyone bought Native Shoes Audrey d'orsay flats? They make popular kids shoes, but have a couple styles for adult women. Wondering how comfortable they are, and if they look too much like crocs IRL (made from same material).\n",
"rejected": "Best source for high quality wide pintuck pants? (Found this term in another thread.) No polyester, Preferably a linen or cotton twill or blend. Quality more important than price.\n\nI like the 40s vintage pants but all reproductions I’ve found are made of cheap synthetic material. I’m glad this style is finally coming back and I want a good source to buy them in every color!\n"
}
] | 1
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000058650970458984375,
"logprob2": -5.25,
"signal": 5.249941349029541
}
|
{
"logprob1": -9.5367431640625e-7,
"logprob2": -4.75,
"signal": 4.749999046325684
}
| -0.499942
| 7
|
130260
|
[
{
"query": "Hi ladies! I'm looking for a little bit of help. I love dresses because they are 1) simple (I can put on one item of clothing and look put together? Sweet!) 2) comfy, 3) they make me feel pretty and 4) they can be more forgiving than pants in some regards.\n\nHowever, it seems like so many dresses don't meet the wear-to-work criteria. I'm tall and it's very difficult to find knee length dresses. What brand and style (wrap, sheath, etc) dresses are your favorites?\n\nI work in a business casual environment and I love the idea of wearing neutral faux wrap dresses and making them more interesting with accessories. I'm not a fan of restrictive dresses- I think all of my dresses are very comfortable and it's one of the things that drew me to them!\n\nThanks for your help!\nWhat's your favorite wear-to-work dress?",
"chosen": "Limited wrap dresses (if you can snag one before they go out of business) and WHBM sheath dresses (often with a cardigan or blazer thrown in top) are my go to's. Even better? Neither are in a fabric that wrinkle, so you can throw them in a travel bag and they come out fine!\n",
"rejected": "I'm shocked to say this but lula roe's \"Nicole\" style is insanely comfortable, flattering, and covers all the modest areas to be work appropriate.\n"
},
{
"query": "I was just browsing Pinterest and I really like the trend of a little lace bralette peaking out from a shirt. \n\nAt the same time, I kind of feel too old for that now? I'll probably do it anyways because fashion restrictions are silly.\n\nBut, to those of you who are moms, what trends do you feel like you shouldn't try? Or do you have those feelings at all?\nFashion as a Mom",
"chosen": "I will admit to feeling strange about this issue, but I think it has more to do with my difficulty accepting aging than with anything anyone else might think, or with being a mother. \n\nFor instance, I just ordered some of those leggings with sheer panels. I feel like I look really good in them. I would've worn them 10 years ago without a second thought, and felt like the shit, to boot. So I think, why should I not wear these? \n\nBut then I catch a glimpse of my face, and I feel down. I don't look 25 any more, at least not to myself. I have no way of knowing how old I look to others. I'm not terribly mussed over someone looking at me and thinking \"Hey, she's not as young as I expected her to be from her outfit!\" but I will admit to wishing I looked younger. \n\nWhenever I put on clothes marketed toward younger women, I feel this way. So maybe this has nothing to do with being a mom, and everything to do with being in my 30s. I'm not saying I won't wear the leggings, because I will, but I'll be aware that I'm wearing something intended for someone younger.\n\nWhen I see pictures of movie stars out and about, or women with kids in real life going about their business, I never *ever* look at them and think \"she's too old to be wearing that\" or \"she has a kid, she shouldn't dress like that.\" So I don't know why I put those parameters on myself. I just feel sad sometimes when I see myself aging -- I wish so much I were one of those women who love their gray hairs and wrinkles. But honestly I'm not. I don't think it has to do with being feminist or un-feminist, because my husband feels the same way. He hates his gray hairs. He doesn't like getting lines on his forehead. We are both people who have gotten attention for our appearances, rightly or wrongly, and seeing those appearances change is hard. \n\nPlease, no downvotes for my honest opinion on this sensitive subject. Any bodily change you go through can be difficult, even with a generally positive mindset. I also felt like after my pregnancy, I suddenly got gray hair, I \n",
"rejected": "I don't consider anything that's flattering off-limits. I think the notion that mothers should dress differently than before they had kids is total malarkey. Just wear whatever makes you feel beautiful and confident!\n\nThat said, I'd probably only do a lace bralette if it were a *really supportive* lace bralette.\n"
},
{
"query": "This thread is for simple style questions that you may have, especially those that don't warrant their own thread. We all want a diversified opinion, so feel free to answer any questions (of which you know the answer).\n\nExample questions: What are your favorite black boots <$250? What should I wear on a date? Are there any good white t-shirts?\nSimple Questions - December 17, 2016",
"chosen": "Not really \"fashionable\" but I'm interested in getting some matching Christmas pajamas for my husband and I. Amazon has some options but the prices are WAY too high ($50 each). Does anyone have any suggestions? Otherwise I'm just going to the local Fred Meyer lol.\n",
"rejected": "To give you a little background - I love Dagne Dover. Obsessed. I purchased the original 15\" tote when they first launched and while I loved the compartments, it wasn't reasonable for everyday use as I didn't need my laptop with me daily and wasn't working in an office setting. I ended up selling it on Poshmark and buying myself the Mini Tote which has been my Holy Grail purse for a year. Fast forward to today - I recently started a new position that gave me a company laptop that I need to take back and forth to home once a week or so. I immediate ordered the 13\" Tote and was ridiculously excited...only to find out that the eyeball measurement of my laptop was off by one inch and I actually have a 14\" laptop 😒. Obviously it does not fit in the laptop compartment but can fit in the main compartment. Dagne's awesome customer service sent me a return label and shipped me out a 15\" same day. Now I'm stuck with a dilemma...my laptop now fits in the compartment but I'm still kind of cringing at the size. \n\nHas anyone kept the 13\" Tote and just floated your laptop in the main compartment? Is that reasonable or do you wish you had the 15\"? Arghhh so torn.\n"
},
{
"query": "I've read a lot about wearing a self-imposed \"uniform\" as one method of reducing decision fatigue and it's an idea that I've been interested in for a while. \n\nHowever, I'm not sure exactly how one would start. If you can scrap much of your existing wardrobe and start over (or if you naturally gravitate toward a uniform), it seems easier. But what if your wardrobe is a little more all over the place? \n\nIf you wear a \"uniform\", how did you start? Do you adhere to it all of the time, most of the time, only in certain situations? Also, how specific are the items? I know that some people will have 5 of the exact same shirt, pants, etc. while others will have variations on the same items. When you come across an item that you love, but it doesn't fit into the \"uniform\", do you pass it by or buy it anyway?\nFor people who wear a \"uniform\", how did you start?",
"chosen": "When I switched from a lab job to a desk job, I was lucky enough to pretty much have a blank slate- I didn't really have much biz-caz clothing (except for that one outfit I had to give seminars and the like) so I was able to build a work wardrobe from scratch. \n\nDue to my natural tendency to impulse buy things I think are pretty without much thought combined with the fact that my job was going to require me to leave the house at like 6:15 am, I decided a uniform wardrobe was the only way for me. I didn't want to wake up 30 minutes earlier than I absolutely had to, just to agonize about what I was going to wear that day. \n\nI started by restricting color- I started out basically only wearing black, grey, and burgundy/wine (though now this has expanded to include forest green, navy blue, and white) in order to give myself more possible outfits with fewer pieces. Then I found a two styles of pants that were comfortable fit well (the Pixie and the Harper from Old Navy; both were cheap enough for me to buy multiples right off the bat, and come in a variety of colors and patterns) and several blouses (I favor the shells from Express, both the tank top styles with the jersey back and the short-sleeved all satin-y ones.) I also bought a few dresses in neutrals and cardigans in blacks/greys with varying textures to add interest, and that was it. I now have several work outfits that make me look vaguely put together, and they all take the same amount of effort throw on as jeans and a t-shirt. \n\nI started pretty strict with my work uniform, but as I've gotten more comfortable, I've been able to add some variation (I recently bought a chambray shirt and I feel like a goddamn maverick) but get dressed with the same amount of ease. Good luck!\n",
"rejected": "You mention wanting to reduce decision fatigue. My suggestion won't necessarily eliminate/reduce it, but it does confine it: I work Monday through Friday, and I pick out all of my outfits on Sunday. There's a general forecast for the weather out by then, so I have some idea of how to dress and I give myself one Hulu episode of The Good Place (or other half hour sitcom) to pick all five outfits, including any accessories. I try not to deviate from those outfits all week (occasionally, something will come up and I'll need to make a substitution, but not often)...I started doing this last fall and it's made a huge difference. I have more time in the morning, for one. I've also noticed that when I'm not rushing to grab the first thing my hand lands on, I gravitate towards certain colors and materials. I don't know that I'll ever go full uniform, but in shopping, I've been more aware of them. Like, every Sunday, I start in the chambray/denim shirt section of my closet. Obviously, that's my happy place, so maybe that's what I should look at when I'm shopping...This may not be helpful for you at all. But that's one way I'm working on being overwhelmed everyday.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm building up the courage to go to the library soon, in the daylight. I've been outside late at night, which weirdly feels safer, since no one can see me as easily, those few who are out. I've also been to one or two queer spaces, like drag shows and costume parties. But I have yet to go OUT out. Like, casually. Around regular people. During business hours. \n\nThis will be the first time I'll do things like order coffee, or pass people on the sidewalk. Stories about other first times in public, good or bad, would help me feel a bit of camaraderie when I step out the door :)\nWhat was your first time going out into public like presenting authentically?",
"chosen": "Its been so long I cant truly remember. Might have been as early as 2011. I think I went swimming and wore a bikini top but shorts on my bottom. I was totally nervous the whole time.\n",
"rejected": "I laugh about it now.\n\nI chose Walmart, bc ,*Walmart*; I went shopping for groceries and was wearing a new, Sunburst Yellow blouse with a new black pleated skirt; I looked good *and I knew it!*\n\nSomewhere in the Soup section, some kid, maybe 4-5?, wearing bumblebee pjs in her mother's cart looked at me and her eyes lit up as she asked, \"Are you a Bumblebee?\"\n\nAnd I was immediately *soooooooo* self conscious! I mean, I already *was*, but had managed to be kind of confident - and all it took to undo that was an innocent question by a toddler! I was *stuck in Walmart*, and *everybody thought I looked Iike a bumblebee*, and I could have died going through the self-checkout line.\n\nTook me two years to wear yellow and black together again, but as I said, I really do laugh at myself now.\n\nNot to worry; it's gotten SOOOO much better now than in 2011 - when *every* tv channels' nightly news was about Bathroom Bills. \n\nFew people will even give you a second glance, nobody will care, and nearly everyone is friendly and supportive. You'll have SO MUCH FUN being Yourself, I *promise*!\n"
},
{
"query": "So far I'm out to most of my friends who I can 100% trust but I'm still so nervous with a lot of my other friends, most of whom I have no idea where they stand on trans issues. They were all fine with me being queer (some of them took a little bit of time to come around) but eventually everyone was fine with it. \n\nI want to find a way of working out where they stand so I can work out if it's going to be safe for me to come out to them, I'm getting so antsy being closeted. \n\nDoes anyone have any suggestions? I'm stuck. Thanks!!\nWhat's a good way to work out how my friends feel about trans people without outing myself.",
"chosen": "There's plenty of new stories you could bring up, like mention a trans related article or a documentary and see what their opinions are. That's how I did it, talking about the news is an everyday thing so they'd have no reason to be suspicious or anything. \nBest of luck :)\n",
"rejected": "Personally, if they can't take you being trans, perhaps they're not so great friends after all :(. I wouldn't want to hide something from people I'm friends with because they basically hate the very being I am. Each to their own.\n\nI'd go, \"I met a new friend yesterday and turns out they were trans (or any variant). They seem pretty nice...etc\" and see how they respond. But if they're not very upfront about it, then you can try asking \"what do you think?\" but that is sort of suspicious. \n\nI don't doubt that if they have strong feelings about trans people, that they will be loud about it.\n"
},
{
"query": "This thread is for simple style questions that you may have, especially those that don't warrant their own thread. We all want a diversified opinion, so feel free to answer any questions (of which you know the answer).\n\nExample questions: What are your favorite black boots <$250? What should I wear on a date? Are there any good white t-shirts?\nSimple Questions - May 18, 2017",
"chosen": "Has anyone purchased Outdoor Voices leggings? What do you think about the fit and length? Are they very true to their measurement sizes? Comfortable?\n",
"rejected": "I'm going to a wedding in Texas in mid-June and am a bit confused by the dress code and invite. The wedding is at 3pm in a Catholic church, but the reception isn't until 7pm and the dress code is formal. Would it be appropriate to wear 2 different dresses then? Formal to a church seems...odd.\n\nAlso, the bride is of Mexican descent and I'm not sure how that may/may not affect the ceremony. I'm used to Irish Catholic or nondenominational weddings.\n"
}
] | 4
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00023174285888671875,
"logprob2": -5.5,
"signal": 5.499768257141113
}
|
{
"logprob1": -9.5367431640625e-7,
"logprob2": -4.75,
"signal": 4.749999046325684
}
| -0.749769
| 2
|
1502
|
[
{
"query": "Example is it’s acceptable for girls to dye their hair, do their nails, and do their eyebrows\nWhat physical features are socially acceptable for a guy to fake",
"chosen": "I fake big muscles by being fat and a jawline by having a beard.\n",
"rejected": "It’s okay for guys with dad bods to suck their tummy in a little bit to make them look less plump.\n"
},
{
"query": "Really a question for men and women but I'm seriously considering leaving my job. I'm a 28 year old Chief Engineer for a Marriott franchise and have been for over 4 years. The pay is ok and getting better but the stress of being on call 24/7 is really starting to get to me. I lose sleep at night worrying about a hotel and it's driving me fucking nuts. Also, Ive noticed I'm harder on myself than I have ever been. One little mistake and beat myself up over it even though Ive already fixed the problem. Maybe it's turning into depression, who knows? The only time I feel happy is when I'm playing music with some friends(drummer). It's the only thing keeping me sane at the moment....\n\nWith my skill set/liscences/degree I could think of more than a few routes that I could go opening a new business and working for myself. Has any of you left a good paying/stable job because of stress? Did you start something on your own or work a less important/stressfull job? How did it work out for you? Any advise would greatly be appreciated.\n\nSide note, I'm pretty good with electrical and repairing computers. I've also been studying basic programming on my own and thought about transitioning into the IT world. Any IT professionals enjoy thier career? What's the stress vs pay like? \n\nAgain, thanks for taking the time to read this and any advice given.\nAny of you left the \"corporate world\" because of stress?",
"chosen": "It wasn't particularly stable or well paying, but I left a job that was putting me on a path to being pretty well established in the corporate world. I worked for a youth leadership nonprofit and met with some pretty important people pretty regularly as a result (fun story - at one point I was scheduled to give a speech to the Business Council of Cote d'Ivoire while on a trip there, but it was cancelled because a civil war broke out). I left because I just fucking hated so many things about it. I was effectively on call 24/7 as well and felt like I spent my entire time fixing everyone else's mistakes. It was a job that was doing a lot of good for other people and I occasional have pangs of guilt about leaving, but I got so depressed doing it that I put on about 40 pounds and basically never went anywhere except my bedroom and the office.\n\nI quit that job in 2011 aged 24, and now two years later I am a successful professional poker player and aspiring screenwriter, who sets his own hours, makes better money than he ever has before, knows exactly what he wants to do with his life, and has a lower day-to-day stress level than anyone else he knows.\n\nI recognise that I was lucky enough to have another option, but nonetheless I would wholeheartedly recommend that anyone in their twenties who feels even a bit of doubt about their career choice, just pack it in and find something else that you would do for free, and figure out a way to make money out of it. There's always a better way, a more creative and innovative way to make money from the skills you have, even if its doing a job that hasn't even been invented yet.\n",
"rejected": "I left the military for your exact reasons. Don't feel ashamed about wanting to leave. You aren't failing yourself.\n"
},
{
"query": "Has the gesture run it's course in society? What if he were to withhold permission, would you still propose? Discuss!\nWhat do you think about asking a girl's father for permission to propose?",
"chosen": "I think it's outdated and dumb. When I have a daughter, if her S.O asks me for permission to marry her, i'll think he's dork.\n",
"rejected": "I think it disrespects the girl's own choice more than it respects the father's wishes.\n"
},
{
"query": "Just to clarify, by 'sex' I also include oral. I'm just wondering. I realize that not all men are sex machines, but I also understand that sex is an important part of a relationship, and people are going to wait to experience it with their partner eventually (assuming you're not asexual). How long would you, as a man, be willing to wait? Would you be all right with your girlfriend having hangups or issues surrounding sex? Would you be willing to be patient with her if she needed it? How big of a deal breaker would it be for you?\nHow long would you be willing to wait to have sex with someone you cared about?",
"chosen": "Very recently, I dated a gorgeous 23-year old woman (I'm 27) who was sexually assaulted back when she was in high school, by a teacher nonetheless. It caused her to have very negative perceptions of both men and the idea of any sort of sexual activity. We took things extremely slow, which I didn't mind at all because she was an incredibly sweet, beautiful individual. It wasn't until a month and a half into our relationship that she burst into tears as we were making out while I was moving my hand around her slowly, she completely tensed up, and she confessed her history to me. I had no idea she was a virgin, let alone had a history of being molested in her past. \n\nAfter sitting in bed for an hour and calming her down/ talking things out, she felt a million times better coming clean about things. She claimed she felt extremely inadequate being so shy and taking things so slow, and constantly told me things like \"I deserve better.\" The truth was, I didn't mind it, because to me, she was everything I had been looking for and was completely worth the wait. I don't pursue relationships for sex, and the only thing about her that concerned me about her was her instability and self-esteem issues because of her past... The sex hangup was simply a byproduct of it, and something that truly didn't bother me.\n\n A few weeks later, it was my friend's New Years party, we both went and got a little buzzed, came back to my apartment, she told me she loved me for the first time, and wanted to \"get her virginity out of the way with me. \" Most guys would think I was crazy, but I told her I wouldn't take her virginity while either of us were under the influence and with everything she'd been through, especially after she had just told me she loved me. I told her we could work our way up to it until she knew it was what she wanted. I didn't want to have the guilt of ruining a very vulnerable and impressionable girl's life anymore than it already had been from some scumbag teacher back in high school. Of course I was crazy about this \n",
"rejected": "Honestly, I don't think I'd want to wait more than 3 months. I'm tired of being a virgin, and I get that sex isn't everything, but I'd probably find it impossible to think about anything but \"when are we *finally* going to have sex\" until we did.\n"
},
{
"query": "Totally caught myself practicing horse neighing sounds during my morning commute.\nWhat's the oddest thing you've done while driving alone?",
"chosen": "Dude this just made me laugh so hard. Holy shit. \n\nProbably talked to myself about some strange topics or had full length conversations with myself in a language I was trying to learn for practice.\n",
"rejected": "Fell the fuck asleep.\n\nDon't do that. You just might die.\n"
},
{
"query": "I’ve only had 3 girlfriends and I literally just asked them “will you be my girlfriend” usually after kissing or sex but now that I’m older it feels a little weird.\nHow do adults ask someone to be their girlfriend?",
"chosen": "Im 32 i've used \"I want to make this exclusive\" \"do you want ( i'd like) to make this official\" \"are we boyfriend girlfriend now\" \"do you want to be my girlfriend\". \n\nI've never thought of it as an adolescent only thing. I'd rather be straight forward and clear and ask the question outright. I hate the whole game about saying something without saying it. Just ask the damn question.\n",
"rejected": "My wife still makes fun of me for this from back when we first started dating. I didn't have a lot of dating experience when we got together so I didn't know you needed to address it like that in order to make it official. We'd been dating for a while, hadn't had sex yet but had gotten very close, but I didn't realize the old high school ritual of having to ask \"Do you want to be my girlfriend?\" still applied.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm a tutor for my college's athletic department and this summer I've been tutoring some football players in Anatomy and Physiology.\n\nSo the boys I tutor were learning about bones and I was trying to get them to remember that every time you see \"osteo-\" that probably means bone. One of them mentioned osteoporosis because their girlfriend's mom just got diagnosed with it, so I used that as an example. I explained the condition to them, why it's more common in women, how it can have genetic factors, etc. One of them asked if there are ways to prevent it, so I told them I've heard calcium supplements and weight-bearing exercises are good. \n\nOne of them went home and told his girlfriend- with no context- that she really needed to start working out more. I don't think she was amused. What's the dumbest/most insulting thing you've ever accidentally said to a woman?\nWhat is the most accidentally insulting thing you've ever said to a woman?",
"chosen": "\"I had a still birth.\"\n\nMe: \"Congratulations!\"\n",
"rejected": "When I was in the 9th grade I had no idea how to talk to people or socialize, in English class there was this girl who wore just a ton of makeup everyday for what's called a \"Natural look\" one day she came in with no makeup and I said \"Wow, you look different today, like in a bad way\" as soon as I said it I knew I fucked up but I ahdnt developed a filter yet\n"
},
{
"query": "I always hear it's food. Yet I'm beginning to believe it's throught his cock.\n\nWhat's the truth?\nWhat's the way to a man's heart?",
"chosen": "By being my lady when we're out, my buddy when we're chilling, fun in bed (but that part is pretty minimally required, I have a high drive and some crazy interests but the whole thing is pretty low on my priorities) and knowing when to leave me the hell alone. I don't care if you cook/clean/mom or any of that stuff (while I won't take the whole load on myself, I will take most of it) but be mine, be fun, act like you give a damn, and learn how to detect when I feel like focusing on my task/activity without me having to be an asshole and make you go away. I cannot STAND it when someone is up my ass 24/7. We all need attention, cuddles, validation, conversation, etc. But some of us need 'me time' too. Don't make me be an asshole just to get an hour or two of peace when I want to read, fix something, or play a game. If I come home from a 10-12 hour shift and give you greets, kisses, and a little chatter when I come in the door, respect my need for 30-60 minutes of chill-the-fuck-out. If I spend 6 hours laying around talking with you about all the random shit I don't care about, but do it because I care about *you*, don't get all shitty when I get up to go to the other room to do my own thing for an hour or two before bedtime. You don't own me.\n\nAnd for the love of god, turn the fucking TV off once in a while. I don't like noise. Noise is distracting, annoying, and eventually infuriating. If you wake up at 3am and turn the TV on at the foot of the bed, we're going to have a bad time. There's a living room. Take your woke-up ass to the couch.\n\nYeah, I'm kind of a dick.\n",
"rejected": "They way to a man's heart, or anyone's heart that is, is to make them feel safe and loved for who they are. That even if the world were to end, you'd be standing by their side, holding their hand.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'll start that I've found cycling to have an incredibly elitist community, one that's obsessed with spending money on the latest gear and bitching about everything.\n\nImprov is ok, a lot of great people but some really awkward socially unadjusted people.\n\nBrazilian Jiu Jitsu is a great community, I've heard some gyms can be elitist and unfriendly but the ones I've been in everyone is friendly and awesome and are really inspiring in the amount of effort they put into the sport.\nWhich hobbies have great communities and which hobbies have terrible communities?",
"chosen": "I love soccer but too many soccer fans here in the States are gigantic douches. Average fans of mls teams make me want to reconsider my interests.\n",
"rejected": "I find that the outdoors have great communities. Long trails have ridiculous levels of support and trail magic. There are several houses on the PCT that are just open to people. Old hikers and friends/family of current ones supply trail magic- free food, sodas, beer, water caches, etc. Supposedly there's a ridiculous amount of trail magic on the Appalachian Trail.\n\nIn general, I find that outdoor communities are very open and accepting. There's a reality that there really aren't many people who are really into the outdoors (stuff like backpacking and more aggressive dayhikes), so they tend to get really excited when someone shares their interest. However, don't show up to hikes you can't handle. Anchors are hated.\n"
},
{
"query": "I have zero intention to follow through with it. Namely because I care for the people around me, especially my SO who I could not think of hurting in that way\nWhy do I keep thinking about I could end my life?",
"chosen": "It's called intrusive thoughts. It's the same reason you sometimes think about chucking the baby you're holding or jumping off a balcony you're standing on. It happens to everyone, but as long as you understand that you shouldn't act on them, then you don't need to worry.\n",
"rejected": "Could be call of the void.\n"
},
{
"query": "I've just asked the women this on askwomen and I'd like a male perspective. So which tv character would you have sex with? And why do they ring your bell?. so to speak.\n\nPs thanks for reading and possibly answering.\nWhich tv character would you have sex with and why?",
"chosen": "She's not on tv anymore but Ariana Grande. Now Sarah Hyland.\n",
"rejected": "Bernadette from the Big Bang theory. \nBrilliant. Ambitious. A little shy, but crazy enough to still be lots of fun. \nFreaking gorgeous. Solid career. Body like woa. Smarter than most. \nI want one.\n"
}
] | 8
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000591278076171875,
"logprob2": -10.25,
"signal": 10.249940872192383
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000010728836059570312,
"logprob2": -8,
"signal": 7.999998927116394
}
| -2.249942
| 2
|
4697
|
[
{
"query": "I just turned 21 and just bought my first beer for myself, a Leinebkugel's Summer Shandy. So I'm curious /r/askMen, what was the first drink you bought at a bar?\nWhat was the first drink you bought at a bar?",
"chosen": "I worked at a bar, as a bartender, before I turned 21. A few months after I stopped taking shifts there, I stopped in to buy a burger off the owner. He wouldn't sell to me because I'm under 21. I asked him if he was serious. He was a rather timid worry-wart of a guy and he was being dead serious. He thought he could get in trouble, even for selling a burger to a minor. So I shrugged and went next door to eat. A week later, I walked back in, ordered the exact same burger and a shot of Sambuca. He started giving me the same song and dance until I showed him that, in the intervening week, I had turned 21. \n\nI really thought that'd be worth a free shot and a burger but no, fucker charged me.\n",
"rejected": "At a bar, I think it was vodka cranberry, because I didn't know any drink names and felt that was safe.\n"
},
{
"query": "I've been able to do this for as long as I can remember, and wondered if men also had their own way of pleasuring themselves without the use of their hands.\nSome women, including myself, can orgasm by crossing their legs and squeezing their inner thigh muscles. Do men have their own hands-free, male equivalent?",
"chosen": "Huh, TIL. I hadn't heard that before, is that something a lot of women can do? When I was in my early teens I could just hump the air and the friction between the head of my dick and my boxers would be enough to make me cum.\n",
"rejected": "Did you just post this to piss off every guy in the world? because that's how you piss of every guy in the world!!!\n"
},
{
"query": "By realistically I mean not someone like Nikola Tesla who would be 156 this year but someone who could believably still be around.\nWhich famous person do you wish were still alive? (realistically)",
"chosen": "Mac Miller for sure. He’s better than all the Lils or the Bust Down guy. I love his last album and I’m not even his fan, he made good music.\n",
"rejected": "Waylon Jennings.\n"
},
{
"query": "We have a planned trip coming up, and she is making assumptions (correctly) that I will be proposing to her.\nHey guys, how can I throw my girlfriend off the scent of my planned marriage proposal to her? (Serious)",
"chosen": "Go to a public place and start the conversation with \"Look, you're an amazing person but I don't think this is working out like we both have pictured it.\" Make sure to sound melancholic.\n\nAt this point, she'll be thinking you're breaking it off with her. Depending on what kind of person she is, you may want to protect your face from the incoming water splash.\n\nThen quickly change it to \"So, I've decided to take the next step and because I love you so damned much, I want you to be my wife.\"\n\nPresent ring.\n\nRecord it to watch a full range of emotions cross your future wife's face in about 10 seconds.\n",
"rejected": "Why does it have to be a surprise? You can't propose without the drama, suspense, tension?\n\nPropose at the airport on the way there, problem solved, great vacation guaranteed.\n"
},
{
"query": "Advertizing, Pop Culture, Mass Media, Click-bait Journalism, Political Theatre, Slacktivism, the Latest Fads, etc\n\nHow do you avoid the mind numbing effects of these repetitive institutions?\nHow do you personally sidestep mass/pop culture?",
"chosen": "I fast fwd through commercials on don't listen to the radio. click-bait articles don't bug me much. I'm interested in everyone's opinions on things before forming my own. That's a big reason I find liberals and conservatives to be equally retarded.\n",
"rejected": "I just keep doing my own thing. I know what I like, what I believe in and know what to wear.\n"
},
{
"query": "Maybe this is a case of me just getting older but when I was younger, people used to moon each other. Like I remember a guy getting in trouble for mooning a teacher in school or people dating each other to moon the cars on the road.\n\nWas it just me or does this still go on? Anyone any good stories?\nWhat happened to mooning?",
"chosen": "A good moon is still appropriate from time to time. A few weeks ago I did a fast. A friend of mine teased me with pics of the pizza he was eating. I responded with a picture of my butt.\n",
"rejected": "what's mooning?\n"
},
{
"query": "I am a 24/f and pretty inexperienced and want to feel a little more confident in my bedroom performance with my SO. I want to surprise him with something unexpected and hot but not weird.\nIn your sexual experience, what is the sexiest thing a girl has done to you?",
"chosen": "So normally I like being the dominant one. But there was this girl I was with for a while, small, short cute type girl. Well one time she just gets this look like she's being overwhelmed by carnal lust or something. She got super dominant and rough with me and totally took controls and holy shit I came so fast. She did it a few times after that and it was easily the sexiest thing I've ever experienced\n",
"rejected": "Sat on my face. Seriously, that takes confidence.\n"
},
{
"query": "I went to a liberal arts college. I majored in Politics. \n\nI can't count how many times I've been looked down on for having a \"fluff\" degree and people telling me I would never get a job. \n\nI work at Google now. It's really satisfying to me, that after college, I land at the #1 company to work for (according to Fortune at least).\nWhat do you feel like bragging about today?",
"chosen": "Just married an amazing woman and am in Iceland on my honeymoon.\n",
"rejected": "Rowed 2km in 7m58sec. A little faster than my personal best. New goal is beat 7.30 mark.\n\nCongratulations on working at Google. Are you working there in engineering or some other department?\n"
},
{
"query": "I've always been reluctant to hit on women just in case her SO comes from nowhere and kicks my ass, but I know that that isn't always the case. So how do you guys really react?\nHow do you feel when a guy flirts with your girlfriend/wife in front of you?",
"chosen": "A few months after my girlfriend and I started dating, we were at a crowded bar down town and I had my back turned to the center of the room. I hear \"Hi, you're so hot... do you want to dance?\" She hesitated for a second until she responded with \"Ahh... You can ask my boyfriend...?\" So I turned around and saw this guy, about a foot shorter than me, with his pants around his ankles. I have no idea why, but my immediate reaction was to drop trou, grab his hand and say \"I'll dance with you.\"\n\n\nHe immediately pulled his pants up and ran off. That was the first time she \"accidentally\" told me she loves me.\n\nTL;DR: It's entertaining more than anything.\n",
"rejected": "This is literally my boyfriend omg\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm going to graduate college this year and I really want to take a solo trip. I've looked at other posts and I've been thinking about places like Puerto Rico or California. Unfortunately I'm not old enough to rent a car, so I'll have to take that in mind. The trip would be at the beginning of August next year, so luckily I won't have to deal with the college crowd at a beach. I think I'll be able to spend somewhere around 4 grand, depending on my savings right now and how much I might get at graduation.\nI've decided I need a solo trip. Suggestions?",
"chosen": "Dude if you have 4 grand don't just go to California. Go somewhere like Dubai or Thailand or something.\n",
"rejected": "I went to Costa Rica and loved it. Getting there is expensive but once you do your money goes a long way. There are plenty of beautiful beaches with lower key resorts where you can really get the local flavor in a safe setting. If you get bored of the beaches there is a massive jingle and plenty of cool flora/fauna (sloths, monkeys, etc). Highly recommended!\n"
},
{
"query": "IMO, it's pretty plain to see, but what blocks people from seeing it?\nWhy are some people surprised to find out that women are often just as sexual as men?",
"chosen": "Because on TV sex is something women do to keep men behaving the way they want them to.\n",
"rejected": "Many of us come from conservative, religious backgrounds where women are shamed for showing their sexuality but men are not. I often tell my girlfriend that I still sometimes feel weird or uncomfortable when I see a girl show me attention or crush on guys or anything of the sort. I know logically that it's dumb, but because of how I was raised I still feel that way emotionally sometimes.\n"
},
{
"query": "I just had sex with my girlfriend for the first time and I could really tell she isn't used to being on top because she almost snapped my dick in half about a dozen times. What are your stories?\n\nDid you throw your back out trying autofellatio, did you use super glue instead of lube, what happened?\nWhat are some of your best or worst sex related injuries?",
"chosen": "My girlfriend was riding me cowgirl one time and I decided to try and heat things even further by spanking her, I reached around too far and ended up smacking myself in the nuts mid coitus.\n",
"rejected": "Indirect, but: last year my boyfriend *broke his leg* eating me out!\n"
},
{
"query": "I've just asked the women this on askwomen and I'd like a male perspective. So which tv character would you have sex with? And why do they ring your bell?. so to speak.\n\nPs thanks for reading and possibly answering.\nWhich tv character would you have sex with and why?",
"chosen": "She's not on tv anymore but Ariana Grande. Now Sarah Hyland.\n",
"rejected": "Bernadette from the Big Bang theory. \nBrilliant. Ambitious. A little shy, but crazy enough to still be lots of fun. \nFreaking gorgeous. Solid career. Body like woa. Smarter than most. \nI want one.\n"
},
{
"query": "Long story short, been dating this girl. She and I both had previous sexual relationships. I suggested we both get tested for STD's. She refuses, saying I don't trust her. This doesn't make sense to me because it's not about trust. It's about us being sure that we are both clean. She has never had STD tests so far. I'm not sure how to convince her. Not sure what to do. Seems to shame to end an otherwise good relationship over something so small. Am I being reasonable?\nBros, what do you think about getting STD tests at the start of every relationship?",
"chosen": "You should be getting std test with every new partner and every month until three months after. Some of those bastards can wait for month before they show up on test.\n\nNow if we talk about it for some reason and she refuses to get tested, I would have alarm bells going off. You shouldn't be defensive if the subject is brought up. \n\nYou aren't being unreasonable here.\n",
"rejected": "DO NOT fuck her until she gets tested. STD's aren't about trust and any shit cunt that says otherwise probably has turbo herpes.\n"
},
{
"query": "I don’t have a girlfriend, have t found the right one yet.\n\nAll my friends are not in the same city I live in for at least the next month. What are somethings I can do alone outside, to just have some fun and also possibly to meet someone.\n\nFor reference, I’m a 22 year old at Uni.\nWhat are something’s to do alone?",
"chosen": "I just want to say how proud I am of this entire sub that nobody's said masturbation.\n",
"rejected": "Hike, camp, kayak, and bike. \n\nVolunteer, work out, paint, and stargaze.\n\nPlay an instrument, garden, rescue a dog, and learn another language. \n\nThe point is be the best YOU can be, people dig confidence that is earned. Explore who you WANT to be (and on that journey your going to meet amazing people doing the same thing).\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm a tutor for my college's athletic department and this summer I've been tutoring some football players in Anatomy and Physiology.\n\nSo the boys I tutor were learning about bones and I was trying to get them to remember that every time you see \"osteo-\" that probably means bone. One of them mentioned osteoporosis because their girlfriend's mom just got diagnosed with it, so I used that as an example. I explained the condition to them, why it's more common in women, how it can have genetic factors, etc. One of them asked if there are ways to prevent it, so I told them I've heard calcium supplements and weight-bearing exercises are good. \n\nOne of them went home and told his girlfriend- with no context- that she really needed to start working out more. I don't think she was amused. What's the dumbest/most insulting thing you've ever accidentally said to a woman?\nWhat is the most accidentally insulting thing you've ever said to a woman?",
"chosen": "\"I had a still birth.\"\n\nMe: \"Congratulations!\"\n",
"rejected": "I have high functional autism (since I guess Aspergers is not official anymore). So I have it hard to know if I'm crossing the line or being straigh up rude to some people, specially women since some friends I had in highschool told me \n \nOne time there was this girl asking for change to go back home in the subway, nothing out of the ordinary in our high school. When she came to me I just say \"no, I have nothing\" to her in what I thought was a polite casual voice. But apparently not, since when she left everyone looked at me and told me I may as well tell her to fuck off. I really don't see it like that but it was the impression everyone had \n \nAnd like that, many other examples up until college and my now workplace, but that's the one I remember the most\n"
}
] | 12
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000010728836059570312,
"logprob2": -6.75,
"signal": 6.749998927116394
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00007534027099609375,
"logprob2": -4.375,
"signal": 4.374924659729004
}
| -2.375074
| 3
|
2339
|
[
{
"query": "I realize people have to have faith, love, and some blind trust when a partner has cheated. There’s always those residual feelings of hurt and anger. Curious as to, do you consciously make sure you don’t smile at someone to much, not talk too much about the new co-worker etc?\nWhat measures do you take to reassure your SO that you won’t cheat again?",
"chosen": "Honestly? The only way it works is if you're honest about why you cheated in the first place, and the two of you take steps to prevent that situation from happening.\n\nIf someone cheated because something in the relationship is making them unsatisfied, they will continue to cheat until that is remedied.\n",
"rejected": "My wife and I don't rely on trust anymore, and we never should have. We don't go around the opposite sex without one another present. No male friends on her part no female friends on my part, at least not any that we hang out with alone.\n\nThere is no opportunity for cheating readily available now. I'd say the trust on that front is mostly rebuilt, but we don't fuck around by making each other RELY on that trust.\n"
},
{
"query": "17 and 5'7\", a little concerned that I stunted my growth through an intense weight loss period that lasted 4 months at least from February to July\nWhen did you stop growing?",
"chosen": "I stopped growing when I was 14/15 at 6'1 (1.85m). Which is about 1 inch above average. I was really early though.\n\nSo my entire teenage years I spent playing as a center instead of forward.\n",
"rejected": "Around your age, tbh. I'm 1,84 (ish) so a bit taller than you, though also a bit below average for a Dutchman, but I wouldn't be too worried about height. You'll be fine, man.\n"
},
{
"query": "Do they like \"jerks\" or nice guys? What gets the most attention? What works best? What will make her call you back?\nFrom your experience, what kind of men do women WANT?",
"chosen": "They are willing to share you? You might be dating women with shit self-esteem.\n",
"rejected": "They want everything in moderation. They want a nice guy, but somebody who will also make them put in effort for affection. They want somebody who will be exciting, but not dangerous. They want somebody who loves and supports them, but not so far as agreeing with everything they say or fighting their battles for them. I feel like a lot of the time men overthink these things and take advice from people who tell them to go to one end of the spectrum. I feel like most of my success with women has been because I'm honest with who I am and put up a slight challenge to make them put in effort to \"us.\"\n"
},
{
"query": "I work in a pastry shop and I recall one time a gentleman ordered some of our product and attached the note “I don’t care if your husband sees this, but you’re the light of my life and I am going to come whisk you away whether he likes it or not. [more commentary about how gorgeous she is, yadda yadda]” \n\nAs an additional note to the bakery, he said “These are for my wife, I just like to try and embarrass her as much as possible.” \n\nHow do you like to make your SO feel special?\nWhat’s the Most Romantic Thing You’ve Done?",
"chosen": "I didn’t do it but my high school boyfriend did. I accidentally got a bowl haircut by a stylist. Went from having luscious long hair to literally a bowl cut. I hated confrontations and just went with it. He saw how upset I was and decided to shave his head until my hair grows back. Nicest thing anyone ever done for me.\n",
"rejected": "Reading this entire thread just made me realise I’ve never had anyone do anything romantic for me. I know it’s all subjective what romance is though. \n\nI think the closest thing that someone did for me was my ex who actually planned our entire first date around the area where I had to take my train home. He went to the area to scout out places in the week leading up to the date - restaurant, activity and then bar. And made sure I was back to the station in time for my last train home. \n\nIs my bar just set really low? A man who plans a date/day out is a big yes for me, which seems like a really basic requirement yet also hard to come across.\n"
},
{
"query": "The two of them are alone together. Nothing happens, just talking.\nWould you mind if your gf started hanging out with a guy she met in class?",
"chosen": "I'm more or less forced to say no as it's how I met one of my best girl friends\n",
"rejected": "How soon? \nI have no problem with her making new male friends, but that usually starts with group activities not being alone with them.\n"
},
{
"query": "Mine is when borrowing a vehicle you are unfamiliar with there is an arrow next to the gas gauge in the dash pointing to which side of the vehicle you are supposed to fill up the fuel ⛽️\nWhat the best life hack that you've stumbled across?",
"chosen": "Quitting alcohol.\n\nLife is so much easier after I quit drinking.\n",
"rejected": "Use a dry erase marker to erase permanent marker.\n"
},
{
"query": "For me it's tattoos, piercings and having promiscuous past (if she used protection and is clean).\nWhat are some things that AskMen in general seems to consider turn-offs/red flags but you don't mind?",
"chosen": "Most of them. Here's a list of things I don't care about:\n\nIf she's overweight. If she's slept with a lot of guys. If she's cheated on someone in the past. If she has tatoos or piercings. If she has a kid. If I wasn't her first choice and the only guy she was interested in from the moment we met. If she has guy friends or is friends with her ex. If she finds other people attractive. If she doesn't have a college education or a real \"career.\" If she wants to get married and have kids. If she's a feminist. If she's smarter than me, better educated then me, or makes more money than me. If she sometimes disagrees with me, even about important things. If she likes horses. If she posts selfies on Facebook.\n\nI'm not saying that those things can't be problems in a relationship, just that I don't think that they're automatically problems or things that I need to worry about without further information.\n",
"rejected": "Clinginess.\n\nJealousy.\n"
},
{
"query": "Thanks guys for the suggestions, really a lot of helpful info. Here's what I'm already doing:\n\n&#x200B;\n\n* I lift 3x per week. I also throw in cardio/core 1-2 times per week as well.\n* Track calories with MyFitnessPal, currently running a target deficit of 500cals/day.\n* Limiting alcohol intake as much as possible. I do still drink, but stick to mostly sparkling water or club soda as mixer. I pretty much never drink beer.\n* On rest days, I try to walk around and stand up as much as possible (I work at a desk). I sometimes do a yoga flow as well.\n* I avoid \"white\" carbs as much as possible (i.e. white bread, white rice). I don't typically eat these anyway. Same with drinking pop, I don't normally go out of my way to have it.\n* Ensure I'm drinking water or green tea throughout the day.\n\nSince the beginning of June I've dropped about 8lbs (I'm approximately 19% body fat). I'm seeing an ab-line starting to form, but there's still a bit of very stubborn fat that's shrinking but seems to be holding on for dear life.\n\nMy goal isn't really to be competition bodybuilder ripped per se, but maybe get down to about 10-12% body fat and maintain that. I have no plans to stop exercising and eating healthy when I get there. At that point I might try switching to \"maintenance\" calories. The idea is to find a balance between the way I look and feel, while still allowing myself to enjoy myself every now and again.\nMen who have six pack abs, what did you do and how long did it take you to get them?",
"chosen": "Abs are extremely fickle, and not worth the effort IMO unless you have really good Ab genetics. I have terrible Ab genetics, I have to get much leaner than the average person to get abs. My roommate however drinks beer every weekend and eats junk food and still has a six pack.\n\nGetting lean is simple; just eat healthy at a slight deficit and work out everyday. Evaluate your body fat percentage by things other than(but not dis including) your abs. If your around 15% body fat and you still don’t have a six pack you probably have bad ab genetics.\n\nYou can look good(and even have nice abs) without a six pack. I have abs, but not a six pack, and girls still think it looks good.\n\nThe one time I did have a six pack was when my boarding school starved me for 2 weeks and I lost 8 pounds and finally had abs, so I guess you can do that.\n",
"rejected": "Intermittent fasting changed my life. I don't eat from 8pm until 2PM the next day. It sounds extreme but your body gets used to it after about a week and the hunger goes away. Coffee and a protein shakes in the morning also helps. \n\nI also workout 4-5 times a week in the morning doing weight training and cardio. \n\nThe final major turning point for me was not buying ANY junk food for my place. If there is nothing at home to tempt me then I can't cheat myself. I only eat out about 1-2 times a week too.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm looking to go into dentistry in the next two years, but I don't really have anyone to ask other than my dentist, but that isn't *that* helpful. \n\nIf there are any dentists/future dentists (in dental school) here, I would appreciate your insight in the field, etc...!\n\nIs it worth it? Do you wish you had done anything else, anything differently? What advice would you give to someone in my position? \n\n(If it matters I'm in Canada). This might not be the correct sub, but I'd like a discussion and some answers with other men/dentists!\nAre any of you dentists/future dentists?",
"chosen": "I'm not a dentist. But I'd quite like to know the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth as well.\n",
"rejected": "I just got your message, I'm in the clinic right now (taking a break) but I'd live to help ya out when I get home!\n"
},
{
"query": "I wan't to know which girls changed your lives, how they changed your lives, for the better? For the worse? Were they amazing, were they horrible? Let's hear it!\nTell me about the girlfriend that taught you a profound lesson about life",
"chosen": "When you love someone, you don't treat them bad. \n\nMy long term ex girlfriend and I were young when we fell in love, however, our love was real. Eventually, she stopped treating me with respect. I was blind in love, therefore, I didn't see how bad things had become. She did, though. She broke up with me and told me this: \"You try to see the best in everyone to the point where you can't recognize when something is bad for you or when someone is hurting you\". Although it hurt at the time, she was right. When you love someone, you don't treat them bad; simple as that.\n",
"rejected": "I got a dear john letter while deployed to Iraq. That's fucked me up.\n"
},
{
"query": "mine would have to be a girl with a soft stomach, makes cuddling a lot better :)\nWhat is one \"flaw\" women seem to dislike that you love?",
"chosen": "Big thighs they are so damn nice. I don't mean like fat thighs like muscly fit thighs. Like you run so much that your legs just develop thighs.\n",
"rejected": "\"My ass is fat.\"\n\nYou're damn right it is. Gimme that thing. Goddamn, girl.\n"
},
{
"query": "Just curious, because I've never experienced the opposite (nervous talking to a man) and I want to understand the opposite perspective. Are you nervous talking to any/all new people, or just women?\nFor those men that get nervous talking to women, why?",
"chosen": "I'm worried they see me as a creep or a loser.\n",
"rejected": "I think that happens mainly when a guy feels attracted to a girl, and becomes concerned with making a good impression. That will make a person self-conscious, and if they're not adept at dealing with it or putting the whole ordeal out of their mind in that moment, they will become nervous. You can't be relaxed when you feel scrutinized and are afraid of making a mistake. It's quite natural.\n"
},
{
"query": "Mine isn’t that hard to explain. We all know those bouncers in nightclubs you see in cartoons or comedies or whatever. You know, big, burly, broad-shouldered black guy that looks *mean*. Then they speak and for whatever reason their voice sounds like a dogs squeaky toy and are sometimes stupidly soft spoken, and happens to be a an emotional hugger with a heart of gold? or something along those lines... \n\nYeah, I’m afraid to say I embody exactly this and my voice never caught the drift that I went through puberty. Definitely a hugger not a fighter. My application to be the baddest guy to step onto the football field was apparently rejected and here I am, a big ass guy who likes cats, writing music, hates violence and prefers to talk it out instead of fighting (black Buddha as a friend once told me in high school) . Gotta say though, I’m fine with this.\nDo you happen to fulfill a stereotype or trope in anyway? If you do, what is it?",
"chosen": "The girl everybody underestimates because she likes pink and wearing skirts and heels on a daily basis. Ugh.\n",
"rejected": "White male engineer who somewhat frequently ends up accidentally, \"man-splaning,\" not because I genuinely think that I know better or that others don't know I just really enjoy sharing the knowledge I have accumulated. I believe knowledge is power and I want others to have that power too. Sometimes I just get too excited to ask if that person already knows or wants to know about that subject.... \n\nI'm usually pretty good with social and body queues too (counter to the stereo type) but when I'm excited I can miss them and go on till just after their eyes glaze in the, \"okay I'm really bored and need to find a way to cut this guy off\" way. \n\nI usually try to make a somewhat smooth but rapid topic change and ask them something that will give them an opportunity to talk instead but it's clearly too late. Nobody seems terribly put off but I feel acutely aware of the stereotype in that moment.\n"
}
] | 2
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000021696090698242188,
"logprob2": -7.25,
"signal": 7.249978303909302
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000010728836059570312,
"logprob2": -6,
"signal": 5.999998927116394
}
| -1.249979
| 10
|
1265
|
[
{
"query": "Tonight i was running full speed from my car in the pouring rain and slipped and fell. Flew full speed down a flight of stairs headin to my place and landed on my lil propane bbq grill. Got a lump on my back, cut my shins, finger was bleedin good and bashed my shoulder and lower back in the tumble down.\nWhat's something dumb you've done recently?",
"chosen": "I ate two KFC sandwiches, followed by a bunch of bread buns that were on sale...then went to bed. Sayonara, fitness goals.\n",
"rejected": "All you can eat buffet. I ate all I could. WTF was the point in going to the gym these past few days. I mean it was one time thing but I really went overboard.\n\nI guess I just have to go twice as hard in the gym.\n"
},
{
"query": "How much a month do you say you spend on \"wasteful\" things? Any excessive food, expensive alcohol, or just plain cool things on Amazon?\n\nDo you think that amount is excessive, and what do you think is a realistic amount? Adjust for income if you want.\nHow are your spending habits?",
"chosen": "All my extra money goes to food. I'm fine with this. But Amazon... Oh dear god someone please stop drunk me from getting on Amazon. I wake up with order confirmations for like packs of 12 combs and other dumb shit. The most recent thing was a *6-pack* box of RainX for my car. What?\n",
"rejected": "For the first time in my life, I currently have savings. \n\nHowever I spend at least $100 a month on cigarettes and whiskey.\n"
},
{
"query": "When I was in high school a handful of girls were convinced that virgins can't have thigh gaps. Any girl with a gap, thus, has had sex.\nWhat's the worst misconception you've ever heard about women's bodies?",
"chosen": "That all women have their period with the cycles of the moon. He has gone on to study medicine and I hope he knows better now.\n",
"rejected": "When I was in middle school I thought the vagina was just a round, always-gaping hole like a tunnel. I also didn't know thrusting was involved in sex.\n"
},
{
"query": "By literary I just mean no financial or self help books. What is the best youve ever read and why?\nWhat is the best literary book you've ever read?",
"chosen": "That's a really difficult question to answer.\n\nPhantoms by Dean Koontz is the book that comes to my mind first. \nThe Silmarilian by Tolkien is up there. \nChildren of Time by Adrian Tchaikovsky was a fantastic read.\n",
"rejected": "Murakami - Kafka on the shore. Hands down my favourite writer. Philosophical pondering and deep metaphors about life tied into a strange story. Also his other books are great. Then there is Gaetan Soucy - Music Hall. Weirdly fucked up story with strange metaphors.\n"
},
{
"query": "So guys (and gals) or r/askmen what books are you reading? How many books did you read this year? Which one did you like the most?\nWhat book are you reading currently?",
"chosen": "Reading through the discworld books. Just finished Guards! Guards! and starting on Eric.\n",
"rejected": "I was going through The Dresden Files, got through book 3. Now I'm reading a bunch of different comics, I just started with them, and I love it.\n"
},
{
"query": "Asking for a \"friend\". \n\nBuying a house in a safe area is damn near impossible even at 100k salary. Rent is doable though, especially with roommates. But being on good terms with family, in a nice cozy house, rent free, in a great area is fantastically comfortable.\n\nI know socially wise we have to move out, especially if we want to start dating again.. But tbh, sometimes I envy the cultures with generations of family in one house. I know a lot of people barf at that thought though\nHow weird is it for a man approaching 30 to be willingly living with parents still in 2023?",
"chosen": "Its same for man as for woman. If it’s not temporary or you are not full time student it’s a little bit weird. At some point in life human needs to be independent and have its own life. Living with parents is not a good sign for both genders.\n",
"rejected": "In some cultures it's perfectly normal. In others it's heavily frowned upon. \n\nMy gf's best friend urged her to dump me when she found out I lived with my parents. We are italian, and it's not super unusual. \n\nFortunately she didn't listen, married a long time now, and best friend and I are very close and laugh about it.\n"
},
{
"query": "I've been researching purchasing a car within the next year. I have no debts, still live at home, and have a job that pays above 60k. I'm still living at home to jump start my retirement savings and to build a large cash balance for a house down payment in the next 4-5 years. \n\nI've been shopping vehicles in the 25-30k range. My gf always seems to have a passive aggressive attitude towards me financing this amount for a vehicle. Meanwhile, she talks about engagement rings in the 10k range, which I think is ridiculous. \n\nWe've been together for a couple years, but we don't have any plans for marriage any time soon. She is planning to travel for work for a years time, so I feel there is no rush to wed. \n\nIs this a relationship/communication issue, or am I not seeing things correctly here?\nHow critical are you of your SO's spending?",
"chosen": "Well honestly it doesn't sound like a good idea to spend that much on a car... Or a ring.\n",
"rejected": "Not at all. My wife is the banker. I haven't paid a bill in almost a decade - she budgets and plans our spending (mostly of bills, but yeah) and takes care of most of that. She is unfailingly conservative. I had to go out and buy one of those pregnancy body pillows behind her back because she thought it was too expensive. It was like $60. \n\nShe has called me before to ask if it was okay if she spend as little has $20-$30. My answer 100% of the time is \"it's your money too hunny.\" We have a joint account and she makes good money. No idea. \n\nOnly downside is I am occasionally eye rolled for getting coffees a few times a week. Not about the cost really, but because she finds it annoying to put a couple bucks on her spreadsheet over and over.\n"
},
{
"query": "A close family member recently got a stroke, he will likely not walk independently again and will need a carer 24/7 for the rest of his life to help him piss, cook for him, etc.\nHe's 50 years old.\n\nIt got me thinking, and I've come to the conclusion that if I didn't have the means to support myself financially using a care home, or if I lost the ability to do basic things like playing video games or browsing the internet without help, then I'd just say fuckit.\n\nI just don't want to be bedridden everyday for the rest of my life, and because of my family history not being great in the living past 60 department (bad blood pressure, strokes everywhere) I don't think I'll prepare for a retirement past maybe 80/85 (accounting for better healthcare), after which I'll blow my money on heroin and then jump off a cliff/OD on morphine etc. Anything like being a vegetable or losing my mental capacity in any way also applies.\n\nSome might say that I'd want to see my grandkids grow up, that may be true in the future, but this is how I feel now. I don't think its worth the depression I'd feel either way.\n\nI have a feeling this sentiment may be pretty common among the early 20s demographic of askmen, is this true? To anyone in their 30s+, did you have these feelings, did they change as you got older?\n\nThanks\nI feel that if I ever become permanently disabled/ill (e.g paralyzed from the neck, dementia, loss of motor function in my hands, losing independence etc) I'd be far more comfortable blowing my brains out than to be a burden, any others relate?",
"chosen": "I've made it very clear to my family that if I somehow end up in a position where I can no longer care for myself, that I would want it to end.\n",
"rejected": "Yes, I have always felt the exact same way. And I'd even go further than you--if I so much as lost the use of my legs or I was horrifically disfigured in some way, nothing would stop me from finding a way to take myself out of this world.\n\nI've never talked about it with another person in my life but I sorta feel like I should, so that I can find someone who would be willing to help me with some sort of assisted suicide if I was ever quadriplegic or unable to accomplish my death on my own.\n\nPeople might call this weak or cowardly, because you always see those people who lead full lives after they suffer debilitating accidents or medical ailments. And really, I do admire them. I just don't think for even a second that I could do the same. The moment my quality of life is reduced like that, put the gun against my head and pull the trigger.\n"
},
{
"query": "I used to work full time at a butchery and we had casual workers come in for busy weekends including this one girl who was not the brightest and never understood any jokes or references I made, fair enough she didn’t understand, I won’t hold that against her, although because she couldn’t understand anything she would assume I was speaking some alien language and one specific time I was holding some eye fillet and turned to my boss and said “do you feel it now mr krabs? because eye fillet (I feel it)” and she went out of her way to come over and tell me how “weird” I was. This really hurt because it wasn’t the only time but I felt like I had done something wrong and made her uncomfortable just because I made a pretty benign joke not even directed at her.\nWhat is the most arbitrary thing you’ve been called “creepy” for?",
"chosen": "Women call guys creepy because of the guy's looks and height. It has absolutely nothing to do with the guy's behavior - at least not in 99.9% of the cases.\n",
"rejected": "I gave a keynote at an industry conference in DC a few years ago where a girl who was out of college and worked with me attended. I described some of the things I do for fun (aviation weather, aerobatic flight, teaching and performing violin, speaking multiple languages, travel, etc) during the opening of my keynote.\n\nThe crowd was engaged and many questions were asked because I was able to build a bridge and make everyone feel welcome and relaxed.\n\nI got off the stage and went to the back to deliver the body mic. This girl from my work? She said I was \"extra\".\n\n\"Oh mai gawd, you are soooooo extra. Like, why do you even do all that? Aren't you married or something?\"\n\n\"You can go away now.\" is what I told her. I still don't understand what she meant fully. Because apparently in her world, people only do things to get laid rather than have actual enjoyment of the things they are doing. It was fun firing her for always coming in late. That was when she called me \"creepy\".\n\nYes, sweetheart. I am creepy because you are shit head and are inept and irresponsible. You can get the fuck out of my office now. Thanks!\n"
},
{
"query": "I won a butler bet against him so tonight we're going out to bars and he's wearing a tuxedo, white gloves etc... he has to do anything I say as long as its legal.\nMy friend is my personal butler tonight for 2 hours, what should I make him do?",
"chosen": "Tell us more about your friend so we can maximize the torture.\n",
"rejected": "A shoeshine while you are seated at a barstool would be nice. Also, he should sample every drink you order, to make sure it's acceptable for your consumption/not poisoned. He should accompany you to the restroom and hold up a cloth as a modesty curtain while you are at the urinal. He should also have paper towels ready for you to dry your hands after washing them.\n"
},
{
"query": "Whats the distance? How long does it take? What about getting home?\nHow long is your morning commute to work?",
"chosen": "About 45 seconds - (I code from home).\n",
"rejected": "6 minute walk in downtown Pittsburgh. Glorious change from what used to be a gridlocked 45 minute drive one way.\n"
},
{
"query": "Having come to uni, I find myself with more worries, and suddenly no-one I feel able to vent to. What other things do you people do to vent?\nMen of reddit, how do you vent? Particularly those who don't have a person to vent to.",
"chosen": "A bit here on Reddit. And maybe once a year to my friend. \nBut I largely just don't. Sometimes I cry instead. In the warmer months I sometimes kill it with cycling (read physical exhaustion and pain).\n\nI have never had anybody to talk to regularly and frequently, so I don't even know how venting is normally done.\n",
"rejected": "I post on reddit and get downvoted.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'll start: she has taught me to look at things from a different perspective. To dream on a little. For example, a thing I got from my mom was to always think about money. Whenever, whatever. When anyone would propose to do something which costs more than a couple bucks she's always be like \"you pay\" , or, \"do you know what that costs?\" Or any other related answer.\n\nMy girlfriend has taught me to look past money and to just imagine what it'd be like if someone says \"let's go to Australia\" or whatever. Regardless of whether it could possible happen or not. \n\nTell me your stories :)\nWhat have you learnt from your girlfriend?",
"chosen": "I learned that I may not be a relationship guy. I like meeting women, and I like the chase, and I like the sex part, but after about a year I lose interest. I have not yet met a woman that holds my interest beyond 18-24 months. That seems to be the hard limit on my relationships.\n",
"rejected": "That money isnt everything. I was always taught that the only thing that mattered was how much money I could make and that is what would make me happy. Well, i lost my very well paying job and now work a shit job that pays crap. I thought my life was over and she would leave me and we would be very unhappy. \n\nWell guess what, we cant go out to eat 5 nights a week anymore and we can't go to those concerts anymore or vacation whenever we want but we are so much happier now. We are barely getting by, and yeah more money would be nice but it's not worth sacrificing what we have now. I could work 80 hours a week and make a killing but have no time to spend all that money i was making. I'm much happier being broke and spending all my free time with her watching netflix\n"
},
{
"query": "Because you always see her naked and it becomes normal. I feel like if a girl wears clothes all the time, then I would be very excited to see her naked when we are about to have sex.\nDo you think you will lose excitement for sex if your gf walks around the house always naked?",
"chosen": "Yes.\n\nIf I always saw my girlfriend naked it would killed the desire to see her naked when she's dressed.\n\nAlso, I like nudity to be associated with something sexy. If you're doing mundane things naked, it's not sexualized at all.\n",
"rejected": "\"Do you think you will stop getting hungry if you watch the Food Network?\"\n"
},
{
"query": "In my 20s I used to think the people in the club who were in their 40's seemed really out of place. I'm now in my 30s now and zero desire to go out partying and drinking and most of my friends feel the same that we all just kind of grew out of that stage and it got old, none of us really drink besides an occasional holiday event or that type of thing, but we're not out getting \"trashed\" 4 nights of the week like we used to lol \n\n\n I noticed my friends and colleagues in SF California are all in their 30s and 40s are still very much into this, nightclubs, getting drunk, and I know that this type of scene can be popular in Europe too, and I've read posts about people getting into clubbing in their 50s. I'm curious if it's a cultural thing? Is it more about relationship/kids and family life commitment?\nAt what age did you stop going to nightclubs?",
"chosen": "16 . Now 32. I'll let you know when I have the desire for overpriced drinks, loud and shitty music, and for waiting in lines.\n",
"rejected": "I am 36 and I still go every so often. I have a family and still go. I am not in there every week (I am in a club 4-6 times a year). I am not in there to pick up women. But I like the music, I like to dance, and I have a good time with my friends.\n"
}
] | 12
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00009775161743164062,
"logprob2": -5.875,
"signal": 5.874902248382568
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000016927719116210938,
"logprob2": -8.75,
"signal": 8.749983072280884
}
| 2.875081
| 2
|
9952
|
[
{
"query": "Dominoes has a $4.99 2 topping deal right now. What's the best combo? I usually get pepperoni and green pepper but I want to change it up.\nWhat is the best 2-topping pizza combo?",
"chosen": "Pepperoni and sausage. None of that pineapple shit for me, still tastes like pineapple even after you pick it off.\n",
"rejected": "For a meaty treat: grilled chicken + bacon.\n\nFor flavor: jalapenos and pineapple. Don't knock it till you get it.\n\nRealistically, for people ordering a pizza and can only afford 2 toppings: extra cheese, self-loathing\n"
},
{
"query": "As of late, my fianceé's and my schedules don't line up very well. Between work and other responsibilities, it's left us with Friday evenings and Saturday (through early afternoon) together. \n\nBecause of that, we decided that Fridays would be \"date nights\" so we can actually spend some time together. We're both coming up with ideas and things to do, but we'd like some more ideas. People of /r/AskMen, what are some date ideas (stay in or go out!). What's worked well for you, and what was a terrible, terrible decision?\nDate night. What are your ideas?",
"chosen": "One of our favorite dates is going to the farmers market, buying fresh food, then going home and cooking with. \n\n\nWe usually bump into a few people we know. There are samples to try. It feels good to stretch our legs downtown.\n\n\nThe cooking brings out our creative side. We can try a new recipe. We have some wine, and play music while we cook together.\n",
"rejected": "Not sure on your location but maybe things like carnivals, festivals. Or hiking on those afternoon sessions.\n"
},
{
"query": "For me - we have 3 bathrooms and I never know which direction the toilet paper is going to face.\nMen, what's the most frustrating part of living with your SO?",
"chosen": "Husband said I clean all the time and that drives him crazy.\n",
"rejected": "She is constantly eating fucking crunchy snacks.\n"
},
{
"query": "We all watch. If you watch, then you've seen some real degrading things. I'm not here to challenge the industry, I'm simply asking if you ever feel bad for them?\nDo you ever feel bad for female porn stars?",
"chosen": "Congratulations! I wouldn't endorse you dating my sister, either.\n",
"rejected": "I do sometimes if she looks pretty druggy or very unengaged from the acts. Or if it's one of those, \"fake casting couch\" style videos. Those always make me uncomfortable. I usually switch to a different video if I start feeling bad.\n"
},
{
"query": "Inspired by that Ryan Reynolds thread.\n\nWhether it be because of their looks, how they act, or their personality, what celebrity do you not understand the popularity of?\nWhat (heavily liked) celebrity just doesn't do it for you?",
"chosen": "Harry Styles.\n",
"rejected": "The titty girl from the Robin Thicke video. She's dead in the face, and not attractive.\n"
},
{
"query": "Based on an earlier post where it seems a lot of people feel pressure to be seen as manly. I was wondering what sort of things you guys do just to appear manly.\nWhat do you do to be seen as 'manly' that you wouldn't do otherwise?",
"chosen": "ITT: A lot of a guys asserting their masculinity by denying they ever assert their masculinity.\n",
"rejected": "I wear flannel and walk around with an axe and attempt to chop down trees.\n"
},
{
"query": "Big or small, what romantic gestures, gifts, even words have you been shown that you still think of today?\nMen, what romantic gestures have you been given that stuck with you?",
"chosen": "I used to be best friends with this girl, it wasn't even a romantic relationship but I would stay over at her house a lot because the college I went to was a 5 min drive from her house but a 30 min drive from mine. But every night I stayed over she would always be in my arms.\n\nBut just the holding and cuddling at night. I feel lonely now, and some nights I have cuddle with a pillow, and that's just depressing.\n",
"rejected": "On a first date with girl, we went to the movies. On the way there, the song \"The Gift\" by Seether was playing in the car. At the time, they were my favorite band. For the 2nd date, she made the plan, which was going to be watching movies at her house. Anyway, I got to her house and she busts out a guitar and plays and sings that song. She was incredibly talented and I was totally blown away by it. I don't think I'll ever forget it.\n"
},
{
"query": "Not to sound like a total douche-canoe, but I'm in a predicament and feeling like an ass. \nSo, just how important is physical attractiveness to you when dating? \nThe last girl I dated was clearly out of my league. That in itself caused my self esteem issues to act up as I always felt she could do better than me. However, the ultimate end of our relationship came about because she just didn't stimulate me mentally. She was hot and all, but so boring.\n\nFast forward 5 months and I'm ready to get back out there. Have a date on Friday with this super smart chick. Biochem major, watches sports, can hold conversation, and has a sense of humor. The only problem? Not super attracted to her sexually. \nDo any of you guys have any advice/similiar experiences? Additionally, anyone experience a unicorn woman (super hot and intelligent)? \n\nTLDR: Have a date with a chick that turns me on mentally, but not so much physically.\nHow important is physical beauty to you in a relationship?",
"chosen": "Usually if I click with them they just appear to be better looking. I’ve had very awkward conversations with very good looking people and was immediately turned off.\n",
"rejected": "Dude. Why are you acting like there are no woman who have both brains and looks. \n\nDo that girl a favor and x the date. You’re being rude and should let a guy who thinks she hot go on a date with her.\n"
},
{
"query": "Right now my wife is my dependent, and our relationship is amazing. I truly feel like I have a purpose and I love taking care of my wife. Not only do I take care of her, but she also takes care of me in other ways. I’m so happy I could die right now (not that I want to). \n\nI’ve wanted a wife since I was 18. I am now 27. It has been my dream to support my family with the fruits of my labor and to be the sole provider. I honestly thought it would never happen until I met my now wife.\n\nI figured that a woman would never agree to be a housewife nowadays, but I got lucky and found a gem. \n\nDo you think that this lifestyle is ideal for you and how so?\nHow do you guys feel about being the sole provider for your household?",
"chosen": "I’ve been the sole provider for my family for 25 years. It works wonderfully for us.\n\nMy wife is the engine for our life. I provide the fuel.\n",
"rejected": "If you don’t have kids she isn’t a gem, she’s a leech. Stay at home mom is a thing. Stay at home wife or girlfriend is just a piss take. And she’s probably fucking someone else while you’re at work.\n"
},
{
"query": "Compliments to MadameRenarde of AW. I just had to see this question here.\n\nI'll open with Saffron from *Firefly*.\nWhat attractive fictional characters would be a nightmare to date in real life?",
"chosen": "[deleted]\n",
"rejected": "Loki from Marvel cinematic universe. Ladies, he would kill you for thinking he would date or fuck a human. He tried to commit genocide on humanity simply because he's tiffed that he was adopted and his older brother will inherit their father's title and his brother likes us. That's the entirety of his motivation in Avengers. \"Wahhh, I failed at usurping my father's throne, patricide, and fratricide. I'm gonna arrange the wholesale slaughter of 6 billion sentient beings to make myself feel better because it will devastate my brother that I tried to kill.\"\n"
}
] | 6
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000035762786865234375,
"logprob2": -4.75,
"signal": 4.749964237213135
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000011920928955078125,
"logprob2": -6.75,
"signal": 6.7499988079071045
}
| 2.000035
| 3
|
742
|
[
{
"query": "I'm on a dating website. Found this guy who I had stuff in common with and thought was cute. Anway, we facebook friended each other and I'm looking at all his recent pics and he doesn't look the same (anymore). He used older ones on the dating site when he was thinner. Now he's probably 40 pounds heavier and not as attractive. Anyway, he asked me if i wanted to go out on a date. I don't really want to anymore and I don't know what to say. I know I sound shallow and I'm sorry for it but I've recently lost some weight (about 10 pounds) i take care of myself and go to the gym. I expect that in a partner. He also listed his body type as athletic and he's not. So, am i being shallow? And how can I let him down without coming off as a total bitch?\nMet a guy through a dating website he doesn't really look the same. Am I being shallow for losing interest? And how can I let him down nicely?",
"chosen": "That isn't shallow. I think its alright to want a good-looking partner. And I say this as someone who is not good looking!\n\nBe polite. He'll get the message. If he doesn't, be a bit more aloof. But try and avoid telling him he's unattractive, that stuff stings for a long time...\n",
"rejected": "Yes, you are being shallow.\n\nYes, that's totally acceptable in the context of dating. It's one of those really pernicious myths I'd wish that we'd get past.\n\nLet him down like you'd let anyone you're not truly interested in down. There's no need for elaborate explanation.\n"
},
{
"query": "To clarify: i live someplace cold, so in wintertime, long sleeves shirts are paramount, even indoors.\nDoes water dripping down your arm, into your shirt sleeve annoy you when you're brushing your teeth? Why or why not?",
"chosen": "I brush my teeth in the shower.\n",
"rejected": "Yes, it happens because the neck of my electric toothbrush has a little hole in it.\n"
},
{
"query": "I was raised LDS (aka Mormon) and only recently escaped from that. I’ve never drank in my life and have absolutely no idea what to order if I do. \n\nI know there are probably a variety of opinions based on taste, but is there any sort of consensus on what would be good to start with?\nI’m 28M and just barely started drinking. What are some good alcoholic drinks that I should try?",
"chosen": "You made it until 28 without alcohol, why do you want to start now? \n\nDrinking isn't manly.\n",
"rejected": "None. Shits degenerate and bad for you.\n"
},
{
"query": "I would say in my *personal* experience it is also true. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy activities like the gym or like going out to dinner. But I don't feel the need to fill my spare days with things to do. I certainly don't want to plan my days off in multi hour blocks of activities trying to jam as much as possible into them. Yet, I find when hanging with girlfriends or even catching up with female friends, they always try and make an event of everything with multiple things to do.\nWhy do you feel the stereotype exists for women wanting to do stuff all the time but men wanting to stay at home?",
"chosen": "In our case it's financial - I'll be up for us going out to dinner and having a few drinks, but a lot of the time her argument is that it'll cost a couple hundred bucks and we're paying off two mortgages.\n\nShe's right, to a point, but on the other hand if all you do is sit around the house you'll go fucking nuts, so there needs to be a balance.\n",
"rejected": "My parents sort of have this dynamic. In their case, it's because my father works full-time and my mother only works two days a week. His idea of a good day off is relaxing at home, because he is tired of going outside and *doing* stuff from his work. Her idea of a good day off is having a road trip or going to a beach or something like that, because she is tired of being stuck at home doing household chores.\n"
},
{
"query": "As a woman I am very comfortable with platonic, friendly affection with my girl friends. We regularly have girls-night-in, watch sweet movies like Anne of Green Gables, snuggle on the floor, hug, play with each others hair, pat/stroke legs, and cry together. In public we hug, pat/ stroke arms, rest heads on each others shoulders, and walk arm-in-arm.\nI feel like straight, western men aren't allowed that level of affection with their friends. I actually feel like the way society limits men's platonic physical affection is what leads to the prevelance of many men \"using\" women for sex, because that is really the only acceptable venue for them to experience sustained affectionate touch.\n(I don't think thats the only thing that makes men want sex, obviously women who get plenty of affectionate touch still like sex too, but I do think its one reason men seem to crave it a little more desperately and continuously than most women do.)\nMen, how comfortable are you with platonic same-sex physical affection? How often do you touch and embrace friends? Do you ever feel like your need for affection is fulfilled enough that it impacts whether or not you feel desperate to connect to another person sexually?\nHow comfortable are you with platonic same-sex physical affection? How often do you touch and embrace friends?",
"chosen": "It's not only with straight western men. It's also with men of the east... Arab and Asian world. We may high five and shit but we generally don't hug or hold hands etc. (my friends taunt women who caress each other on platonic level by calling them lesbos, but then this is just out of context fact that I wanted to share)\n",
"rejected": "Very comfortable with platonic physical affection. I totally bro hug all the time. A handshake doesn't always cut it, especially with a close friend. I definitely don't walk arm in arm with my friends, but don't have a problem with them touching me. A hug, pat on the back or shoulder - no problem for me. It does not fulfill the need to connect sexually with a member of the opposite sex. For me, it's a way to prove to myself, and others around me that you don't need to be some cold hearted manly man all the time to be masculine. Showing emotion/affection for your friends that mean a lot to you is important.\n"
},
{
"query": "Assuming you are both not in a relationship and are just two friends chilling. Neither are looking for anything serious. Is there a reason you'd turn someone down or would you be up for it any time?\nIs there ever a situation where you'd turn down sex?",
"chosen": "There are so many ways sex can go wrong, off the top of my head im thinking if hygeine isnt good, being too drunk, doing it in a house full of people.\n",
"rejected": "There is plenty of times where I *have* turned down sex. \n\nJust because I'm a man doesn't mean I'll fuck anything that moves. \n\nI'll tell about a few instances. \n\nNumber 1. Her name was Crystal. She was just too drunk. I dont have a problem fucking drunk girls, but because I didn't really know her that well, I didn't want to go there. \n\nShe seemed mad when I turned her down. She wasn't going to let me leave the room till we fucked. I ended up bargaining down out of sex. She offered to suck my dick instead of fucking, and I wasn't even cool with that. \n \nSo I told her 'lets just make out and I'll suck on your tits'. And she agreed. So, i made out with her and sucked on her tits. (I'm a huge fan of sucking tits). \n\nShe ended up fucking a few of my friends that night. Girls sometimes do that shit when they drunk. \n\nIn the morning as she left, she kissed me on the forehead and said thank you. I did the right thing and I think she was thankful for it. \n\nNumber 2. Alice. She she kept wanting to suck my dick in a pool hall. I passed. Why? Didn't know her well enough, she could have gave me something. \n\nNumber 3. Kimmy. I was set up on a blind date by her mom. Kimmy's mom was ultra Christan, I worked with Kimmy's mom at the time. So Kimmy and I are on a date and she tells me she wants me to take her back to my apt and fuck her (without a condom). Shes mad because her sister gets all guys and had been dating while Kimmy got left behind. \n\nI wanted to fuck Kimmy, but I really liked and had a lot of respect for her mom. I couldn't do that. \n\nThese are just a few instances of girls I didn't fuck but could have. Of all the times I've passed up sex, Kimmy is the one girl I truly regret not fucking. I regret not going down that road to see what was there. I've done a lot of dirt, but under all that I still try and be a nice guy. That is an instance where the nice guy got the better of me. I should have fucked Kimmy.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm 28 female about to get married, and both doctors I've seen so far about a tubal ligation say I'll have a hard time finding a doctor because \"I may change my mind and want kids eventually.\" Does this pushback happen to guys as well?\nThose of you who have had/wanted a vasectomy at a young age with no kids, did you get pushback from your doctor?",
"chosen": "Had cash in hand at 20 and went to a urologist.\n\nWas denied because I didn't have any kids.\n\nWent to a 2nd doc, was told the same thing at the consult.\n\nI am now 32 and still do not want kids. I never will, and i've known that since I was teenager. I could probably get it done now but no longer have that kind of disposible cash laying around.\n",
"rejected": "Nope, I'm 36 and he gave me no problems. He asked a couple questions but that was it. He told me he wasn't there to judge and people can make their own decisions. 30 minutes later I was good to go.\n\nKeep searching for a doctor, you'll find one eventually, even though it is kind of a pain in the ass.\n\nCheck out /r/childfree , they always talk about this sort of thing, they may have some advice for you.\n"
},
{
"query": "I've seen a few posts asking for desirable qualities in a partner and they were all pretty generic. What if you had to choose a flaw? What is the greatest flaw you could put up with to stay with your otherwise-dream partner?\nIf you met a partner who was your dream woman in all aspects bar one then what is the greatest flaw you could live with?",
"chosen": "No eyebrows? I guess? I don't know...\n",
"rejected": "The greatest flaw I already put up with is her not caring a lot about herself.\n\nMe I couldn't withstand would be her being close minded.\n"
},
{
"query": "Maybe you're in the gym, having a bit of an off day. Then this one song comes on and you feel motivated to pump out the rest of your workout with vigor.\n\nMaybe you're riding around town and this song comes on, and all of a sudden you have the urge to roll down all your windows, throw your aviators on, and vibe.\n\nMaybe you're having a lazy day, but this song shows up out of fucking nowhere and you decide to make this one of the most productive days this week.\n\nWhat's this song for you?\nWhat's your one song that makes you feel invincible?",
"chosen": "Japandroids-House That Heaven Built\n",
"rejected": "Highway to the Danger Zone-Kenny Loggins. \n\nIt was our pregaming song in college, and nothing gets me feeling invincible like slamming shots of Wild Turkey before heading to the bars.\n"
},
{
"query": "For whatever reason, women always tell me how \"drop dead gorgeous\" I look. Or how they wish they looked like me.\n\nHowever, guys don't seem to really say that has much as the girls do. \n\nSo, I'm curious if you think that women and men have a different perception when it comes to attractive females, or if attractiveness is just universal and guys aren't vocal about it\nDo you think men and women have different views on what women they find attractive?",
"chosen": "Yep, and in my opinion women don't know what the fuck they're talking about (no offense).\n\nIf a woman tells me that I need to meet her friend because she's gorgeous, I'd say there's about a 20-25% chance I agree once I meet her.\n\nIf a guy tells me that I need to meet a girl because she's hot, there's a 80-85% chance that I'm going to agree.\n",
"rejected": "A lot of the famous women that I hear other women talking about as being beautiful and what not... aren't very attractive to me at all and often times the women give the weirdest reasons for *why* that person is attractive. \n\n\"Oh I love (insert whoever, let's say Kate Fucking Hudson for the hell of it) her! Her arms are so tiny!\"\n\nHer arms are... tiny? You know what I've *never* said in my life? \"Oh shit, check out that hot girl with the *tiny fucking arms*!\"\n"
},
{
"query": "I just turned 20 and I am worried about starting to lose my hair as my father did, hence the question.\nWhat steps are you taking to prevent hair loss?",
"chosen": "Been taking Propecia for a very long time. I don't think it grew any hair back but it halted the balding.\n",
"rejected": "I just wanna throw out a PSA to my dudes who are going for a bun. Don't tie it into that tiny dipshit thing that's super tight just so you can have a knot. Let it grow a bit before you tie it. I'm mid 20's and some dudes I see around my age already having their hairlines move back cuz they do this shit. And yes, I had a bun but I waited. And it was a curly glorious mess.\n"
},
{
"query": "I would probably go with oregano because its extremely versatile and can be used in many kinds of dishes plus has a really nice lemony aroma.\nWhat's your favorite herb/spice and why?",
"chosen": "Salt, i use it in almost everything and enhances the flavor greatly!\n",
"rejected": "I’d say Cumin. It has a good flavor, and also has anti-inflammatory properties to help with my arthritis.\n"
},
{
"query": "In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.\n\nI know it’s just a stereotype that men constantly want sex and women always turn it down. However, am I doing something wrong?\n\nI’m fine with a 2-3 times a week. We have needs.\nMen, how often do you want to have sex?",
"chosen": "maybe 1 once a month if they want to\n",
"rejected": "*In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.*\n\n*However, am I doing something wrong?*\n\nAre you initiating the sex, or are you just waiting for him to take the lead and when he doesn't you assume he doesn't want to have sex? It's quite possible he did want more sex but thought you didn't, so he didn't bother trying.\n\nLikewise, guys will sometimes avoid it if they're stressed, not feeling great, etc. Not necessarily because they don't want it, but because they're worried they won't be able to perform and it'll be very embarrassing.\n"
}
] | 4
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00012493133544921875,
"logprob2": -5.75,
"signal": 5.749875068664551
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000011920928955078125,
"logprob2": -6.5,
"signal": 6.4999988079071045
}
| 0.750124
| 8
|
4530
|
[
{
"query": "I often watch horror movies and invariably in some of these there are rape scenes. I have fapped to them before, but I don't actively seek them out, and I feel terrible after doing it. I know the entire time that it's just acting, but I still feel bad about fapping to something so horrible. I'm not turned on if it's obviously very violent and yelling and screaming is involved. Is it normal to be turne on by these sorts of things?\nIs it wrong that i get turned on by rape in movies?",
"chosen": "Rape is one of those fantasies that a lot of people are turned on by, both the thought of being the dominant or the submissive, but the important thing is the vast majority of these people turned on by the *fantasy* of rape, *not* the reality of it. Rape in a fantasy is generally very different from the reality, particularly that in the fantasy everyone is safe, no one is actually being harmed, and the fantasy can be ended at any time. The reality of rape of course is a lot uglier, and most of the people attracted to the fantasy of it are very much not attracted to the reality of it. So long as one understands this difference between fantasy and reality, and they don't start fetishizing *real* rape, then it certainly isn't the worst fetish.\n\n*Why* do people fantasize about rape? I think it is largely the power dynamic, of one person taking complete control, even animalistic, while another loses all control, and is submissive to the dom.\n",
"rejected": "Lots of people are incredibly turned on by fantasies of stuff they'd never want to actually do. Don't worry about it.\n"
},
{
"query": "I need present ideas and it got me thinking?\n\nWhat is an expensive version of an everyday product that made you rethink that product?\n\n&#x200B;\n\nFor instance some guys will say that once you buy silk or expensive nice underwear they will never go back to normal cheap underwear. Any other ideas?\nWhat is an expensive version of an everyday product that made you never go back?",
"chosen": "Now that I’ve used a bidet I will always own one.\n",
"rejected": "First class flights.\n"
},
{
"query": "Assume the Fit Fairy visited you and could grant you any body you want: ottermode, wolfmode, bearmode, taller or not, hairier or less, basically custom made from the neck down. \n\n\nWhat would be your ideal? \n\n\nOr to put it another way, like what celeb would you want to look?\nUnfit men, what would you prefer to look like?",
"chosen": "Like a cute anime girl\n",
"rejected": "I can't decide between being buffer or leaner so my work out gets disorganized. Buffer would make more sense because it'll hide the extra skin from my way fat days, but being 6'6 I'm worried about being too big and wide.\n"
},
{
"query": "I saw a post where a young lady was admiring your lovely physiques & after reading some of the responses, I started wondering what things make you feel handsome, beautiful, special, manly, or just plain fabulous. I invite you to brag :)\nMen of AskMen, what makes you feel good about yourself?",
"chosen": "Lifting. Pushing myself beyond my mental and physical limits makes me feel like a minor god. \n\nAnd then I do it all over again.\n",
"rejected": "I'll have you know I'm a pretty big deal. One time I even got 1000 upvotes on a comment I made on Reddit. Do you know how many people read reddit? Me either but it's a lot I think. I'm like famous.\n"
},
{
"query": "So for context I have sleep paralysis issues sometimes and I sleep on the bottom bunk in my dorm.\n\nSo I have a bit of a crush on a girl in my class. Last night I was dreaming about her and in my dream we were laughing and giggling together in the halls. She then came in for a kiss and right when we were about to make contact I woke up while orgasming. However my sleep paralysis kicked in and I was having to lay there with wet boxers while the disembodied head of Zeus was coming out of the top of my bunk with a puckered face like he was trying to kiss me. It was the weirdest 30 seconds of my life and probably the only sleep paralysis I have had that was simply just WTF instead of scary. \n\nTLDR: I think I got fucked by Zeus last night. Anyways what is your guy's story?\nWhat was the most WTF wet dream you ever had?",
"chosen": "I've still never had a wet dream. Older than 30. I thought they were just jokes for the longest time.\n",
"rejected": "ITT: People who don't know the definition of \"wet dream\"\n"
},
{
"query": "Walk me through your average eating day. Is your body a fair reflection of your diet? What are your feelings on what you consume, are you even worried about your health?\nHow is your diet?",
"chosen": "Terrible. \n\nTea. \n\nTea. \n\nA burger or something. \n\nCola fanta cola water \n\nBeer. \n\nBeer.\n\nDisappointment.\n",
"rejected": "Great recently. Had a nice bachelors week filled with steak, greens, delicious delicious lobsters and fish. And a pizza.\n"
},
{
"query": "I like wonen who are somewhat bitchy but also very sweet. So far I've only been able to find the crazy kind... \n\nWhat about you? 2 traits you like in a women that are contradictions\nWhat're 2 things you want in a woman that are contradictions?",
"chosen": "I want her to be so good looking/awesome that she would never have to settle for someone like me. \n \nI want her to settle for me.\n",
"rejected": "I'm the kind of guy that's looking for a chick that's down to kick back and smoke a fat ass bowl and watch some Bloomberg News or This Week in Tech after a long gym session. Finding an aspirational stoner that's into finance, fitness, and tech/science is proving to be a formidable challenge.\n"
},
{
"query": "For example, my dad thinks my brother's pets are unnecessary because \"grown men don't need cats.\"\nWhat's the most ridiculous thing you've been told men don't need or aren't supposed to like?",
"chosen": "I expressed to my wife that I wouldn't mind being a SAHD and she asked 'what self-respecting man with an advanced degree wants to be a SAHD?' so I shrugged and raised my hand. My work is nice and all, but my kids are more fun.\n",
"rejected": "Cars\n\nLook, I don't give a shit about cars. Have a really old one that I use to get from one point to the other and that's all what matters to me. All cars for me are the same and I don't know anything about it - my mechanic does. But I constantly hear \"how don't you know this, you're a man\" anytime someone asks me something about car.\n"
},
{
"query": "My husband is hesitant to consider this new job opportunity because he believes the commute time is too long. I don't understand his rational and think it would be shortsighted to pass up a potentially great career move simply because he doesn't want to be in the car for a few more minutes each day. I'm curious to see how others feel in terms of their threshold for drive time. Just so you have the full picture, his current commute one-way is 17 minutes/10 miles and the prospective one would be 21 minutes/14 miles.\nWhat is your idea of a \"reasonable\" commute time to work?",
"chosen": "He’s turning down a job over a 5 minute longer commute??! Shiiit. Under 30 minutes is definitely reasonable. Between 45 min - an hour, I’d have to really love the job. I’d try to avoid an hour+ commute\n",
"rejected": "As a person who lives in a relatively small city and who recently started to mostly work from home, taking over 10 minutes to get where I need to be sounds like torture.\n\nWith that being said, however, 17 minutes to 21 is nothing. What's 4 more minutes? Just blast Tina Turner full volume and you're there in a heart beat.\n\nHonestly, I don't know your husband and it's far from me to pass any judgement, but looking from the outside, this sounds like an excuse to me.\n"
},
{
"query": "I am 30 yrs old and so is my wife we have been married 3 yrs.\nWe've had our ups and downs but this yr was just bad. We were having a very down time.. i do not think either of us were happy. My wife had a drinking problem that had been getting worse and worse. we were both miserable. Then we found out she was pregnant. she quit drinking.. things were good. about 2 months into it we had a miscarriage. things slowly went back to \"normal\"\n\nOne day out of the blue she told me she wanted a divorce. that she loved me but wasnt in love with me. and that she deserved better. after she told me this i got very sad. the nxt morning i begged her to stay told her we could go to consoling etc. she said no and started packing. i left to go to work i was a mess.\n\nabout 20mins later she called me and said we can work on things. i was always half in it after that. one month later she said she wanted a divorce again i was on board too this time.\n\nlater that night she told me she went to grab a drink with a guy from work that she developed feelings for. all they did was talk for an hr.\n\naftr that it was done deal for me.\n\nthe next day i was a mess and so was she but i told her she had to leave i went to a lawyer and was going through with a divorce. before i left for the lawyer i told her well this is it stop me if you think we can fix this... she did nothing.\n\nAfter i got home she told me she made up the story about the guy. I did check her phone records and there was know random guy numbers on there. and she was drunk when she told me. she told me she just said it to hurt me.\n\nit was a very confusing time after this we both agreed to try and work on things. and we did try to. \n\nit took awhile but She has finally stopped drinking and is being a much nicer happier person.. which is what i always wanted.\n\nthe problem now is its been 2 months and i find myself getting angry at the littlest things and just being grumpy all the time. at work i question things and go back and forth on divorce and staying. its driving me insane.\n\nIt like she broke my heart and now i do not know if i can give it fully back to her.\n\nthroughout our 3 yrs of marriage she had mentioned divorce 4 times which nvr to the extreme of that last time. my therapist said its like a dog that has bitten you 4 times and now is like its ok pet me.\n\nAHHHH\nwife said she was done now she wants to stay...",
"chosen": "Let's see...\n\nYou don't trust her because she's been back and forth about this.\n\nShe probably needs AA, and isn't in there (it sounds like). A white knuckle sobriety is not likely to work.\n\nYou're pretty miserable all around.\n\nI think you're miserable because you don't know what to expect.\n\nDraw up two plans: The happy plan, and the divorce plan.\n\nHappy plan sees your wife getting into some kind of program for alcoholics and you setting up some milestones for both yourself and you two as a couple. And of course, you continue your therapy.\n\nDivorce plan gives you a step by step if she pulls some shit again. There's plenty of places online where you can get a list of things to do. I'm sure there's a divorce Reddit that outlines drawing cash out of your shared accounts (how much you take is up to you) and moving the cash personal accounts. Contacting a lawyer... All that fun stuff.\n",
"rejected": "Dude, get out. Now. Do the whole separate bank accounts, credit cards, etc. Save money for a lawyer. \n \nNow why: \n \n1) She is being emotionally abusive. \n2) She obviously doesn't want to be in the relationship. She's repeatedly said this. Only wants to be there when she's in the mood - which is terrible \n3) She's got a drinking problem. She needs to get to AA or something similar and get her shit together to have a real relationship \n \nListen to your therapist - get the hell out of the marriage.\n"
},
{
"query": "Looking for some cool ideas of what I can do in my free time often, that doesn't involve staying inside my apartment.\nWhat's a hobby that you currently love, but was apprehensive to start at first?",
"chosen": "Fire poi. For a year, friends were pestering me with that weird thing they were doing which I then deigned to try.. Suddenly I found one of the nicest, most creative communities in the world and over the years managed to become one of the most respected jugglers in my country. (Yes it's a very small country:) )\n",
"rejected": "Pooping in a toilet. At first I was like nah the diapers are working fine, why change what ain't broke? But my parents forced me to use the big boy toilet and I've been using it ever since. I've grown to love the damn thing.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm a 19 year old guy and I've never even dated before. I don't think I'm ugly so self-confidence isn't an issue for me. The problem is that I honestly do not understand how to flirt or how it works. Generally when I like a girl I'm just very direct with her and seeing as how that isn't working I would like some advice on how to try to improve my flirting skills.\nMen, how do I flirt?",
"chosen": "My buddies tell me all the time that I'm great at flirting, but terrible at 'closing'. While that's probably true, it is generally because I'm not trying to close, but I AM trying to flirt. Having said that, I don't really TRY to flirt, it just sort of happens. Here's an example.\n\nI see a girl doing something (working usually) and decide to approach her. The first step, I do almost subconsciously, which is to figure out something about her, or her work, that she wouldn't expect a person who is flirting to inquire about. Recently, there was an outdoor concert with a bunch of community outreach tents set up around the perimeter. I saw 2 cute girls working in the tent providing the public with information. Before I approached, I remembered reading an article about the company. When I approached her, I said hello, smiled, and began by mentioning the fact that I had read about their cause. After that I asked her if she would mind if we played a little game to see how much she knew about the topic. She agreed, and I asked her some questions. She was very informed, and after 2 or 3 questions I told her that she passed with flying colours and that her employer should very happy with how well she handled herself. Once again we smiled at each other while my buddies stood there looking perplexed. After we walked away they basically asked me \"how do you take a mundane situation like that and turn it into a chance to flirt?\" Answer, don't try to flirt, let situational awareness give you an opportunity to flirt. I was aware of the cause the girls were providing information about, and used my (albeit limited) knowledge of the cause to give me the opportunity to approach. This is quite different from just walking up and asking for a number.\n",
"rejected": "Use your hands to explore the inside of her mouth but try not to be weird about it.\n"
},
{
"query": "So we're now 2 full months into 2017 and with the coming of the new year many people try new hobbies or activities. However someone conceivably could have started a new hobby right at the end of 2016 so I think a hobby that started in December is still \"new\" enough to be relevant. \n\nSo what new hobby or activity did you start recently, and what motivated you to start it?\nHey r/AskMen, I picked up a new hobby at the beginning of 2017 what's your new hobby, and why did you choose it?",
"chosen": "I learned how to crochet in the latter half of 2016 and made a blanket for my mom as a Christmas present. Now I'm working on a pizza blanket for my boyfriend, gonna try and make toppings for it and everything! I started it because another med student taught me how and it seemed like a really relaxing hobby, something that you can do sort of absentmindedly with your hands and create something both cool and useful.\n",
"rejected": "Skateboarding. Actually a really good way to get out and pretty fun once you learn how to not fall on your ass.\n\nI got motivated to start it after watching some youtube videos about it randomly one night. I said to myself 'that looks fun' and went out to my nearest sporting store and got one. I just wish there was more places to skate, in my town it's not really a big thing and there's no parks/ramps to practice on.\n"
},
{
"query": "I've been on 5 or 6 dates with a girl, and each time so far I've picked up the tab. No issue there as I'm always happy to starting thing off.\n\nUsually after a few dates the girl will offer to pick up drinks after dinner or split a bill. But the girl I'm currently seeing hasn't once offered. She's super thankful every time, so I don't think she's just in it for the free meal, but I know she makes waaaay more than me, and at some point I'd like to not pay the whole thing.\n\nHow have you guys handled a similar situation?\nWhen do you guys stop paying for every meal & drinks and start splitting? Do you?",
"chosen": "I split/alternate from the first date. I'll pay for the first one but if she doesn't pay/split the second one then we're gonna have a conversation about it.\n",
"rejected": "I pick up the check on the first date, and if she wants to split, I just tell her \"you can get the next one\". Sets up the interest for a second date, makes her feel like I care enough to put my money where my mouth is, and also saves a potential argument over who ate what where split checks often venture (plus, I never carry cash, so what am I supposed to do, give her a chunk off my debit card?)\n"
},
{
"query": "I just got married over the weekend, and I'd like to hear some of AskMen's advice and perspective! I know my wife pretty well (we've been together for eight years) but I'm curious to hear some other experiences.\n\nWhat are some of the little things you will do to make it work? What do you do to make her feel special? How do you guys approach the relationship in regards to longevity? Money? Sex? In-laws? What are your experiences?\nMarried men of AskMen, what do you do to be a good husband?",
"chosen": "I wake up at 5:30am with my 2y/o son and play duplo so my wife can sleep for another couple hours\n",
"rejected": "I keep my shit together when things go wrong.\n\nI handle the hard stuff.\n\nI be the unwavering rock in the face of adversity that she wants.\n\nI take care of the house.\n\nI'm a good father to our son.\n\nI keep \"dating\" her, despite being married for 11 years.\n\nI work hard to make things better for our family.\n\nI fuck her right, fuck her often, and I make sure to throw in some spontaneity.\n\nI hit the gym, keep in shape, and maintain my appearance to make sure I *stay* fuckable.\n\nI let her know as often as possible that she's one of the best things that ever happened to me.\n"
}
] | 8
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00023174285888671875,
"logprob2": -5.5,
"signal": 5.499768257141113
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000010371208190917969,
"logprob2": -12.25,
"signal": 12.249989628791809
}
| 6.750221
| 6
|
595
|
[
{
"query": "Saw this on r/askwomen about masculinity, figured I’d test the waters with this over here.\nWhat’s the worst case of fragile femininity you’ve dealt with?",
"chosen": "I have 3 daughters and a wife. It’s daily\n",
"rejected": "I went to a terminal with several classmates few years back, we were looking at workers loading/unloading containers from the big boat. The girl besides me asked if there’s any female workers, the manager said Yes. I’m a girl, so in my head it went like ‘how does a female worker manage herself to get to work, let’s say, if she’s having a painful period; or going through pregnancy.’ I was thinking it from a place of concern, not a place of thinking females are weak. So I asked the girl, “what if the female worker is on her period or pregnant, will it be painful for her to work? Or she gets days off?” Guess what she said? - ‘Oh, sO YoU ArE SaYing FemALEs are wEak? WOmeN cAn Do wHaTevER Men Do.” Bitch shut the fuck up! I wasn’t even talking about females can’t work at the terminals. Wtf?\n"
},
{
"query": "Men in general are so good at giving compliments on physical features - especially in bed where conversation needs to be easy and confident...but my bank of compliments feels empty and useless. I know men often cringe when called \"cute\" or \"adorable\", but I don't sound sexy saying they're \"hot\" and I can only tell them they're gorgeous so many times before it appears disingenuous. Socially I'm a disaster and have trouble with the \"protocol\" of interactions, so I overthink and end up saying nothing. \n\nSo how do we do it?? Should I stick to generalizations of description? Is it distracting for me to comment on individual features I like? Are unconventional compliments weird? (i.e. I like how angular your face is/smooth your voice is, or something) What are the best ways to express genuine attraction and appreciation for a man's appearance in intimate situations that are genuine, specific to him, and doesn't take him out of the moment?\nMen, How Do You Like Women to Compliment Your Appearance...?",
"chosen": "Nice ass\n",
"rejected": "You say what you feel. What you think. You feel like you could eat icecream of his abs, you tell him that.\n"
},
{
"query": "This is in response to the AskWomen topic where it was presented that many women don't get along with their own gender. Apparently it's considered derailing to present that the inverse seems to be seldomly true, so I'd figure I'd ask here.\n\nSo men of AskMen, why do think that some men don't share these sentiments about their gender?\nWhy do you think it's so rare that some men don't get along with \"other men?\"",
"chosen": "Generalizing here, but I find that male acquaintance-ships are generally more... neutral/indifferent?\n\nIts almost as if I don't care enough to make a fuss. I found that to be the case when I lived in the dorms back in college; there were guys who went in \"blind\" (didn't know their roommate before living with them), and ended up having very few issues with eachother. \n\nI also tend to be pretty good at compartmentalizing people. There are coworkers I'd *never* want to hang out with outside of work, but we have no ill-will towards eachother while we're working together. I play sports with other guys. We have a great time while we play, but we have virtually nothing in common other than that, different lifestyles, views, etc. but we're there to play sports and have a good time, so that's what we do. I don't really hang out with them outside of that context.\n\nHopefully that makes some sense.\n",
"rejected": "I actually don't think that's the case. It's just that instead of hating other men, we say we hate \"douche bros\" or single out subcultures with distorted ideas of masculinity.\n\nUnless I'm underestimating the categorical dislike of one's gender these women experience.\n"
},
{
"query": "My one is my ex dropped off a book at my house recently but didn't have the common decency to put it in a mail box or leave it at the door. I think she must have just waited until no one was home and thrown it on the driveway since that's where I discovered it after 3 years. \n\nWeird way to end a night.\nWhat slight inconvenience annoyed you recently?",
"chosen": "Pretty sure my slave cylinder in my clutch is going bad. Having trouble engaging. Changing out the clutch is going to be a pain.\n",
"rejected": "Getting banned from /r/relationships, I guess for \"victim-blaming\", though they didn't explain.\n\nOP's wife would regularly attempt to trigger his PTSD as a joke, knowing that it caused him to punch things instinctively, and one day she jumped out at him and he instinctively punched her and knocked her out. I said she deserved it and, were I given a chance to defend myself, I'd say OP was the victim. His wife was the abuser. Switch the genders and there's no way people would an abusive husband like that was a victim and we shouldn't blame him.\n"
},
{
"query": "For example, do you think European guys approach things like friends with benefits or sex on the first date or one night stands the same way that American guys do?\nEuropean male redditors, do you think you view sex (hooking up, making moves on girls, etc.) the same way that American guys do? Sweeping generalizations aside, what personal anecdotal evidence have you observed?",
"chosen": "As a Brit i'd say the main difference for me is the courtship ceremony. I saw a question yesterday asking \"what if men stopped approaching women?\" i think that wouldn't affect me at all, i almost never approach women as i am regularly approached. There isn't this unspoken rule here that men *have* to be the one to make the first move. \n\nIn regards to sex i'd say i view it a lot more liberally, sex is fun and something to be enjoyed. I feel that a lot of people in US but a huge amount of pressure on themselves about sex, i feel that they do also here but maybe not to the same extent. \n\nApparently in the US girls are happy to make out with a stranger on a night out but not have sex, here if im kissing a girl i just met i would be very very surprised if i wasn't fucking her by the end of the night. In my experience of ONS i find i can just be very open about the whole scenario, \"lets go back to mine and fuck?\" rather than pretending that i want to go get coffee or whatever.\n",
"rejected": "Needing to psyche oneself up before talking to a woman. This entire cultural thing about one-liners. I understand some might not be comfortable just striking a conversation so I don't really care about the psyching-up ritual but all those pick up lines and game tactics just seem so stupid and adolescent. Alpha and Beta dogmas seem like too much energy being wasted on trying to explain failures or accomplishments. I don't understand why guys need to waste their time trying all these tricks. If you want something, you go up and take it with some charm.\n"
},
{
"query": "So, I have the opportunity of getting paid 250€/year, by donating sperm 5x per year. What do you guys feel about this?\n\nAll of my friends think it's really creepy to know that you have a son/daughter somewhere out there, but I feel okay about it, since it's only my DNA that makes him/her my kid. And I wouldn't know the parents nor the kid, so..\n\n\nWhat's your opinion about this?\nWhat do you guys feel about sperm donation?",
"chosen": "You won't have kids out there. You'll be helping other people *who really want kids* to have kids.\n\nSounds like easy money. Go for it.\n",
"rejected": "I'm not a man, but I am a woman and an egg donor. I'm on my sixth and final donation now. As you can imagine, the process is more invasive (and not nearly as pleasant) and the compensation is heftier, but the idea is relatively the same. Someone is going to anonymously receive your genetic information and a child will likely be formed from that. \n \nI'm also a parent, but the child I conceived myself is my only child because he is *mine*. It wouldn't matter how he was born or whether he was genetically mine, but the fact is that I chose him as mine. I am so happy that couples who have struggled with infertility can have a family with my eggs, but those children are not my own. I will never meet them, and that is fine with me. \n \nOthers are saying that there is a chance you will one day be called upon to financially support the child. This is *false*. It is complete bullshit. The law protects you from any obligation whatsoever to children conceived via your sperm/eggs. Don't take misguided advice from people who are not informed! \n \nIn the end, it's your decision. If it makes you uncomfortable to have children out there with your genetic information, don't do it. But if you are able to understand that the most sentimental part of the process is helping someone have a child, and not that the child has your DNA, it can be a wonderful thing to do. \n \nAs an anonymous donor, I am never allowed to meet or interact with my recipients for obvious reasons. Sometimes after a donation, they will send me an anonymous card through the organization thanking me. I'm always warmed to the heart to help a family and I feel happy for them, but their children are their own. All they have from me is my genetic information and nothing more.\n"
},
{
"query": "Could be her eyes, hair, boobs, ass or whatever.\n\nFor me the first thing I notice is a girls smile, closely followed by a woman who shows off her bare stomach.\nWhat is the first thing you notice about a woman?",
"chosen": "How big her tits are, how old she is, and if she's fat or not.\n",
"rejected": "Face. I love me a pretty face.\n"
},
{
"query": "For me personally it is my neck. I've seen post on various sites. Reddit, Facebook, twitter, whatever, saying things like \"If you kiss my neck you're not leaving this room unfucked.\"\n\nOr something along those lines. A lot of people I know agree with that. Personally I hate having my neck touched. If I fucked up as a kid my dad always grabbed my neck or collar to get my attention. So when people do that I just feel out of place or as if I did something wrong.\nWhat's something that seems to be a turn on for most other people that you just don't like?",
"chosen": "Girls playing video games... it's a form of entertainment. I suppose the \"hot\" factor is someone you're attracted to is doing something you enjoy or are interested in, but it doesn't make someone attractive/hot to me.\n",
"rejected": "I grew out of tattoos a couple of years ago. I used to think it was really sexy looking, especially with the right piece but now it just looks kind of trashy and makes me think the girl is a lot more promiscuous(not that there's anything wrong with that if that's what you're into).\n"
},
{
"query": "I don’t have any male friends. I see other girls having male friends or hear them mention them and I wonder why I’m not friends with a guy. It just never really happened. I only have female friends. It almost never happened that a guy wanted to be friends with me. There were a few times I got along with guys well but it never really became a friendship and in two situations the guy wanted more. How do friendships between men and women usually happen and work? Is it a bad sign I don’t have male friends, what does that usually say about a women? Is there a link between relationships and friendships? I appreciate honest opinions and advice!\nI don’t have male friends and I’m worried, what could be the reason?",
"chosen": "it could just be you don't do any mixed or male dominated activities so you never had a chance to really bond\n\n\nOr any bonds escalated with sexual attraction\n",
"rejected": "I'm a guy and i have all female friends. There isn't anything bad about having all friends of one gender or another\n"
},
{
"query": "How do I, a nonathletic lifetime nerd, properly encourage the interests and activities of my son, who is more athletically inclined than I have ever been? He has already played little league soccer, flag football, and is arguably better at baseball than I am, and now he's excelling at basketball. I can't keep up with him - literally. He's fast, and has a natural talent that apparently skipped my generation. The closest I have come to playing sports was halftime on the football field in marching band. I barely know the rules to these games, and I could honestly find anything better to do than watch the college or professional versions with him.\nHow does a Geek Dad raise a son determined to be a Jock?",
"chosen": "The rules!!! You mentioned that you hardly know the rules, bust out those nerd skills and learn every rule to a T and then pivot toward learning strategy! I am not the best athlete but I am often looked to or asked sports questions cause I know the rules and strategy really well. And if you wanna take it to the next level, start looking into the history and peak moments for the sport.\n",
"rejected": "I thought this said Greek Dad and I was like, \"didn't you motherfuckers invent wrestling?\"\n"
},
{
"query": "It's not too often that I dress in a certain way to impress a guy but I find it interesting and sometimes helpful to know what guys aren't into lately and why?\nWhat are some current women's styles/trends that you can't stand?",
"chosen": "Bald heads.\n\nIm just not a fan.\n",
"rejected": "Nose, cheek, eyebrow, tongue, bellybutton, nipple or clit piercings. \n\nTattoos. \n\nLet me be clear. It's your body, you want them you go right ahead and be you. We'll still be friends. \n\nI just find them incredibly off putting and unattractive.\n"
},
{
"query": "As the title implies, how did you find your job that you enjoy? I’m struggling with my current job and I think at the heart of it all is that I really don’t like the work, yet I don’t know where to go to find work I would enjoy. I’m 27 and feel like I haven’t found my “thing” and it’s a paralyzing feeling. I am by no means “stuck” physically. As much as I hate my job, it pays ok, though I haven’t gotten a real raise in the 4 years I’ve been here (64k in 2017 now 70k in 2021). I have an education, though I kinda hated my field of study (industrial engineering) and I feel like maybe I’ve been wasting my time for basically the last 9 years while I pursued this path.\n\nWhat advice do you have for finding work that you enjoy or even love? Any strategies for breaking out of a funk where you feel like the path you were on and committed to isn’t for you?\nHow did you find work that you enjoy doing?",
"chosen": "Enjoy manual labor work I'm doing, not in debt at all and the people rock tbh. \n\nI'd take this over office work where I'm so bored and people gossip 24/7\n",
"rejected": "they pay me\n"
},
{
"query": "Couldn't phrase it without quotation marks.\n\nBasically, what's an issue that is attributed to gender, but is in reality related to the people rather than the gender?\n\nRough Example: \"Men are sexist and don't respect women\" is really just about assholes rather than men in general.\nWhat's a \"gender issue\" that's really just a people issue?",
"chosen": "Abortion is often framed as a \"women's issue\" even to the point that I frequently hear people claim men shouldn't be allowed to have a say on the subject; but if you believe as I do that an unborn child is a person, then it is absolutely a \"people issue\".\n",
"rejected": "People being mean in games. It's not exclusive to women and they don't get more shit than anyone else on average. If the person is giving you shit and calling you names based on being female it just means he's a dick.\n"
},
{
"query": "From your day to day life. Walking the street, supermarket, office, etc\nWhat percentage of women you see are attractive in your eyes?",
"chosen": "Less than 1%\n\nIt's not like I am some elitist snob...that number should be higher but so many people are fat these days, it's really disappointing.\n",
"rejected": "99.999999999999%. \n\nI’m kind of a ho.\n"
},
{
"query": "Whether it's the company picnic, the Christmas party, or just the manager who's decided it'd be a great team-building exercise to all get together for happy hour after work, do you guys have any particularly effective ways of getting out of \"mandatory fun\"? I have two jobs, so I have the built-in excuse that I literally have to be somewhere else and can't get out of it, but I know at some point they're going to expect me to plan my schedule at Job 2 around some event and get mad at me if I don't play ball.\n\nEven if I didn't have a second job, I still wouldn't want to be there unless I was being paid overtime; you cut into my personal time, you're gonna see my motivation go completely into the toilet and eventually wonder why I'm looking for work elsewhere. I'd like to avoid that.\n\nAnyone with experience at this got some good advice? Or just want to threadjack and talk about Weird Al Yankovic's 2014 album of the same name?\nMen whose workplaces have \"mandatory fun\", how do you get out of it without getting canned?",
"chosen": "Mandatory fun was an ok album. Not his best, but good.\n",
"rejected": "My last boss in high-tech called an all-hands meeting to record the entire company doing the 'Harlem Shake.' I noped, snuck in the men's room, and fucked around on Reddit for half an hour.\n"
}
] | 10
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000011920928955078125,
"logprob2": -4.75,
"signal": 4.7499988079071045
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000110626220703125,
"logprob2": -8,
"signal": 7.999889373779297
}
| 3.249891
| 4
|
1777
|
[
{
"query": "Further, is it because you portray yourself to be that way or are they just assuming based off of outside factors?\n\nFor example: a lot of people think of me to be super outgoing. I think part of it comes from me portraying this person who enjoys spending time with others all the time. When in reality I really enjoy doing things on my own.\nDo people ever believe you're a certain type of person when you really aren't?",
"chosen": "I act differently towards everyone and everyone has their own perception of me. I simply act the part to keep relations amicable and friendly so I can obtain what I need from them or provide them what they need. There are people who believe I am a \"hacker\", others who see me as the class clown, and some who see me as the understanding mentor. If you ask each of them what my hobbies were, you would get 15 different answers.\n\nI portray myself in accordance to what they expect of me.\n",
"rejected": "People are always surprised that I like metal-ish music, if that counts.\n"
},
{
"query": "Chewing with your mouth closed, I get. And not leaving a mess around your mouth, I get.\n\nBut today I (20M) had steak w some friends. My bestfriend, an old buddy from highschool, and his girlfriend. \n\nAs I was eating the steak, my buddy’s gf pointed out that I’m “cutting it with the wrong hand.” Apparently it’s supposed to be with your non-dominant hand. \n\nNow, I know this. But honestly, ever since I was a kid, I just didn’t see it as a big deal. Like, at all. Im like potato, potato. I find it easier to cut with my right, so that’s what I do. But she looked so judgemental about it. It made me feel uncomfortable lol. Like I was being watched. \n\nAnd then, she also commented on how I was eating mashed potatoes? Apparently I was digging into it with my fork, when I should have been keeping its entire shape and kind of scooping it from the sides, instead of stabbing everywhere headfirst. \n\nLike that’s just how I prefer to eat? Maybe it’s less “delicate” or “orderly” but it’s not like I make a mess around my face or chew with my mouth open. The only thing I can think of is how it might look on the plate? Like all squished up? Is that it? \n\nI use my right hand because it’s easier to cut and I just naturally eat mashed potatoes like that despite being shown otherwise. I didn’t think it was read into this much.\n\nMy two guy friends didn’t say anything about it ever, nor have they seemed to notice. Or maybe they did and just didn’t bother saying anything? See now I don’t know anymore.\n\nMy dad grew up poor and my mom was middle class but given her culture,\ndidn’t really fine dine with steak and mashed potatoes. I actually learned from a YouTube video but then decided it wasn’t worth the effort to change this habit that I saw nothing wrong with. \n\nIm wondering if this is something I should shift more attention too, or if she was just being uptight and judgemental about something trivial.\nHow important is “eating etiquette”?",
"chosen": "It makes way more sense to cut with your dominant hand since it's stronger. In Eu, like someone else pointed out, we cut with dominant hands and then use the fork in either hand. And there is no fn right way how to eat potatos, unless you're eating them with your hands then yes, please try using a fork.\n\n Rules when eating: don't speak with a full mouth, don't chew loudly, don't slurp loudly, eat with utensils and don't touch other people's food. The gf is uptight and entitled to even comment on that.\n",
"rejected": "She was actually wrong about the cutting hand.\n\nHold the knife with your dominant hand that has most control and accuracy in cutting. The fork in your other hand is used to pin down your prey so that it doesn't move around when you cut it. Just practical common sense. \n\nOther than that, it's not the 1950's any more. As long as you chew with your mouth closed and not splatter food and not stick your face in the plate like a pig, it's all mostly ok.\n"
},
{
"query": "I know some guys wear foundation etc but usually it's viewed as weird or just not right. \n\nSoooo if wearing it was the norm for men, would you guys partake?\nIf it were socially acceptable for men to wear makeup, would you start wearing it?",
"chosen": "I've worn makeup for modeling jobs.\n\nBelieve me, if it was socially acceptable, 99% of men would wear it. It makes you look 1,000,000 times better. Even really average looking guys can look fantastic by using it.\n",
"rejected": "Socially acceptable or not, if I want to wear guyliner I will wear guyliner.\n"
},
{
"query": "What's a hobby you have, or activity/group you're a part of that people don't expect, are surprised about, or discourage you from because you are a man?\nWhat's a hobby you have that people don't expect because you're a man?",
"chosen": "Cooking and baking :3\n",
"rejected": "I like painting flowers, and learning calligraphy so I can write really romantic letters in amazing handwriting.\n"
},
{
"query": "I own a VERY small fitness apparel company that is moderately successful (in the fact that we are self-sustaining and don't need to keep dumping money in).\n\nWomen make up about 99% of our customer base -- our shirts are fitness-themed, and they are VERY high quality at $20 (which compared to our competitors, is a lower price point).\n\nMy problem (and question) is that men don't buy sh*t, and I can't figure out why. They are good shirts, at a good price -- yet sales are almost null in that department.\n\nSo, men, why is this?\n\n\n**After almost 100 comments, I want to say THANK YOU! And I also want to throw in the loop...hats. Do you wear one? Would you buy one? Etc.**\nTried to post this in r/fitness and was told to post here -- What will make you buy ~$20 fitness shirts?",
"chosen": "That doesn't seem unreasonable, if you are providing dri-fit etc. For gym though, I'll wear any t-shirt really, it's in the AC. It's only when I play sports outside that I need to be able to effectively control body temp, how much I sweat etc.\n",
"rejected": "I might consider one for running in the winter, if they were long sleeved and provided some more warmth as well as moisture wicking.\n\nPersonally I don't want words or graphics on my shirt. I also don't want something that has special care instructions.\n\nFor the vast majority of my workouts, an old t-shirt is perfectly good to wear. Hell my running shorts are the same ones I had in high school.\n"
},
{
"query": "Trying to convince my wife that my handjob and blowjob texts with my new bro aren't that gay so lets hear what all you queer boys do.\nStraight guys, what's the gayest thing you've done with your buddies?",
"chosen": "Watch gay porn. See if anybody gets a hardon.\n",
"rejected": "A game of gay chicken once ended with two of us making out. \n\nFor the dignity of everyone involved, nobody mentions it.\n"
},
{
"query": "If your friend had sex with another person while in a relationship would you stop being their friend? Would your decision matter if you knew/were friends of the person who was cheated on too?\nIf your friend cheated on their girlfriend/boyfriend, would you continue being friends with that friend?",
"chosen": "Bro's before ho's. But all joke asides, I would stay friends. They made a mistake with someone else. He may be a cheater but my friends have done shit for me that I know nobody else would have done. Some even saved my life. That shit you can't ignore. I would give them a lecture, about how wrong it is. But bro's stick together.\n",
"rejected": "I don't think I'd end the friendship, but I'd certainly question their morality. I'm *really* opinionated when it comes to cheating/home wrecking, so it definitely changes my view of a person if they do either.\n"
},
{
"query": "I had to stay out really late countless times in college before I \"got lucky\" at a party but I can see why many guys wouldn't go out every Friday and stay out til 2am for the low chance of getting a kiss or number. \n\nI spent almost every Friday of my senior year going out with a friend looking for parties, going to clubs but the pay off wasn't really worth it. We stayed out til at least 11pm and didn't make any true friends with a girl. Looking back at these times several years ago, it was way too much effort and even though I got some numbers, none of these girls I talked to at parties are my friends today and it didn't lead to any relationships\nHow much effort do you have to put in to \"get lucky\" with women?",
"chosen": "The less effort you put, the easier it is. Also when you actually put a lot of effort, you usually tend to be more self conscious, and less confident, because you're not relaxed, your mind is just thinking about getting lucky, and as the clock ticks, the more anxious you get.\n\nIn the end, girls just wanna have fun (not (necessarily) in a sexual way), so if they see that you're fun, they're gonna join in the fun too, which is gonna lead to talking, and will lead to meeting a girl that may like you and you like back. Maybe not, but at least you had fun. The most times I've gotten lucky have been when I was just focus on the party.\n",
"rejected": "The saying goes that 90% of life is just showing up.\n\nDating's a lot like that. Be where women can find you, but don't sweat it beyond that. Women can smell a guy who's trying too hard the way dogs can smell fear.\n"
},
{
"query": "A lot of women complain about men not taking no for an answer when it comes to rejection, if you’ve been one of these men or are one of these men, what has been your reasoning behind your response?\nThis isn’t aimed at all men but if you’ve dealt with rejection negatively, why?",
"chosen": "The one time I handled it negatively, I was being lead on a lot. To the point that this girl was all over me, slept in the same bed as me one night, and woke me up just to passionately kiss me. So I asked her out and she said she wasn't into me. Made zero sense and it short circuited my brain so much that it made me angry that she rejected me, instead of being happy that I got something out of that friendship. It also didn't help that it was shortly after my relationship with a super abusive woman ended.\n",
"rejected": "I'm fairly sure that no one handles rejection \"positively,\" but some people are just a lot better at controlling themselves.\n"
},
{
"query": "Asking as a man who's into that. Actually, it's not just tomboys; it's more so women who are masculine in general. Having traditionally masculine traits such as physical strength, tallness, leadership, protectiveness, provision, stoicism, being more logical, heroism, courage, being willing to engage in violence or hunt, lack of fear of certain pests (mice, spiders, roaches, etc), and so on and so forth. \n\n&#x200B;\n\n By contrast, feminine traits for the most part don't interest me very much. In fact, submissiveness, pacifism, and physical weakness are the worst feminine traits to me--totally unattractive. \n\n&#x200B;\n\nBasically, my ideal woman is kind of strong, capable, and dare I say--manly. Think Vasquez from *Aliens,* the female soldiers from *Gears of War*, Lady Eivor from *Assassins' Creed: Valhalla*, Revy from *Black Lagoon*, or Misty Briarton from *CoD Zombies Mode*.\nGuys who are attracted to tomboys, why?",
"chosen": "Tomboys are all right - but I suspect that a lot of us- regardless of our own height have this either front-and-center, or secret locked up attraction to taller girls. They do f need to be particularly striking but the simple fact that long legs are a prominent feature is going to be a head turner.\n",
"rejected": "I like them because they’re the truest form of feminine, which is a capable partner that can handle difficult situation and work through tough times while still maintaining their femininity\n"
},
{
"query": "Just happened yeaterday: a friend at my job as a joke was pretending to cut my hair (i have long hair) and by reflex i gave her a **punch on the fucking face!** and then it hit me the horrible thing i did. Things turned pretty awkward for the rest of the day. Luckily it didn't leave a bruise but i felt completely broke inside becaise i've never have done this before and i feel awful as a man for ever punching a girl. She understood it was an accident and accepted my apology but i feel like things will mot be the same between me, her and my teamworkers.\nHave you ever punched a girl in the facw by accident? What did you do",
"chosen": "I went to pull start my snowmobile and didn't realize she had walked up behind me. She had bloody nose and a real nice shiner afterwards from where the ripcord handle hit her.\n",
"rejected": "Technically. Had been drinking at a friend's and people were talking about martial arts. I just want to say, maybe don't randomly lunge at people if you don't want to risk spooking them into action. Like when you tickle people and they hit you in the face or nuts, sometimes the impulse is not the proper decision. It wasn't for this one chick. \n\nShe moves towards me suddenly with her fists raised and reaching for me, I retreat a step and raise my hands to deflect her grab. In the process, my hand smacks her in the chin on its way up. She hasn't spoken to me since and refuses any form of apology. I specifically stressed that 'live performances' should be avoided if we talk about martial arts, let's not risk any injury or startle people. Sigh. Some fucking people. You'd think I came at her with a knife sometime, she loathes me *so much*.\n"
},
{
"query": "As in, do you have a complete preference on who you want to date, or do you go for who ever?\nAre you guys picky with your choice of women?",
"chosen": "Sure I do. \n\nThe list goes as follows: \n\n* She's not fat\n\n* She's very attractive.\n",
"rejected": "I'm less picky about who I have sex with.\n\nI'm more picky about who I make my girlfriend.\n"
},
{
"query": "For those reading /r/askmen, do you find you stick to a certain brand or fashion designer when you look at your wardrobe or stuff that catches you eye when out socially? If so, whom?\nDo you have a favourite fashion designer or brand?",
"chosen": "I really like Brooks Brothers clothes. Long lasting, good fit, nice materials and the price isn't too bad. Both their formal wear and casual stuff is pretty solid. Not extremely adventurous and fashion forward, but I'm not a very avant garde dresser either.\n",
"rejected": "Office wear is usually something from Sid Mashburn, but the weekend is all about Saint Laurent\n"
},
{
"query": "So my boyfriend has asked me on multiple occasions to sit on his face, and I'm super not into that idea so I always say no but I really want to understand the appeal of it\n\nWhat's so great about having an ass in your face?? To me that would be really uncomfortable and embarrassing, though I'm already not a very sexual person to begin with so I have a hard time wrapping my head around these things\n\nPls help me understand\nWhy is it such a common thing for guys to want girls to sit on their faces?",
"chosen": "Sometimes we are so horny that we want to experience as much of you as closely as possible, and that is by burying our faces in your treasure chest. I'm not into it personally (yeah, it's not comfy), but I get why he thinks he'd want that.\n\nIf you're not totally opposed to it, why not try it? Maybe it's good after all, or maybe he'll stop asking for it.\n",
"rejected": "Vagina\n"
},
{
"query": "What are some things women and non-men do that make you feel emasculated/insecure? I’m not talking about belittling or active attempts to tear you down, but small actions that, if you don’t know, you wouldn’t necessarily guess\nWhat things do women do that unintentionally make you feel emasculated?",
"chosen": "Never felt emasculated by a woman. It’s 2022, I don’t think they could do anything that would make me feel emasculated because there are zero things one sex can do that the other can’t. Only issue I have is when they start dipping their hand back into the traditional gender role benefits jar when it benefits them.\n",
"rejected": "Men like fixing their own problems. Dont be nagging all the time.\n"
},
{
"query": "In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.\n\nI know it’s just a stereotype that men constantly want sex and women always turn it down. However, am I doing something wrong?\n\nI’m fine with a 2-3 times a week. We have needs.\nMen, how often do you want to have sex?",
"chosen": "maybe 1 once a month if they want to\n",
"rejected": "*In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.*\n\n*However, am I doing something wrong?*\n\nAre you initiating the sex, or are you just waiting for him to take the lead and when he doesn't you assume he doesn't want to have sex? It's quite possible he did want more sex but thought you didn't, so he didn't bother trying.\n\nLikewise, guys will sometimes avoid it if they're stressed, not feeling great, etc. Not necessarily because they don't want it, but because they're worried they won't be able to perform and it'll be very embarrassing.\n"
}
] | 10
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00004601478576660156,
"logprob2": -8,
"signal": 7.999953985214233
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000011920928955078125,
"logprob2": -4.625,
"signal": 4.6249988079071045
}
| -3.374955
| 5
|
913
|
[
{
"query": "Title says it all. I really liked a girl but got rejected for being short (I'm 5'7 at best). The thing that stung tho was that she's 5'3 and hits hard cause ik most tall girls aren't into dating dudes shorter than them, but even girls shorter than me want tall guys. Hit me hard cause I was aware that I'm on the shorter side but worked out and have a really aesthetic physique and grinded to make it into a really good university in a good program as well but it was all nothing to her. Feel like a total loser rn and wondering how to rebuild my self confidence. Also should note that since I got dumped 3 years ago I haven't gotten a yes since but this was the first time they flat out said it was cause of my height. Making me rethink that my height was the reason behind those Ls too.\nHow to get over being rejected for being too short?",
"chosen": "First, you need to go to bagel shop, then proceeded have an emotional breakdown over a random woman in shop being taller than you, then pick a fight a man taller than you.\n",
"rejected": "I've always just got back up on the horse. Honestly this has only happened twice to me, and I'm only 5'3\". I usually only make a move when I've already gotten some serious positive vibes, so in that sense I pre-select and in that way I usually avoid the issue.\n\nWe all have some (or a few/many) characteristic(s) that some population of women see as a deal-breaker, so the key is to focus on those women who don't think that way. I know height is a big thing people talk about, but there is no shortage (no pun intended) of women just fine with a smaller dude.\n"
},
{
"query": "So after a lot of observation of married people and my my own principles of life, I have came to a conclusion that it'd be best for me if I never get married. I might get into serious relationships but I won't compromise for the sake of relationship. Especially because I live in a society where you're expected to.\nI might be thinking extremely here as I am just 24 and have never been in a actual relationship and people already expect me to get married as I have secured a decent career already.\nI am very introverted and never been able to attract attention to me let alone impress a girl. This might become a problem for me to find a girl who might agree with my views about marriage but it's not my worry. I just want to focus on my career and if I would want to commit myself to something I'll commit to a goodwill cause. If I want kids I'll adopt them.\nSo I want to know what might be some psychological or societal problems I might face if never commit a long term relationship.\nWhat are some problems you might face if you decide to never get married ?",
"chosen": "Well, Im just going to throw my 2 cents here, since I am married for a couple of years and have just now become a dad for the first time. When I was about your age, (im 29 now) I couldn't imagine myself getting maried. I didn't see the point of it. Waste of money, waste of time, had to commit to same women for life... The thing is, you are not the same person as the 29 year old you. So for me, this is a question of someone who is craving for love, and really needs to justify his/her lack of social interaction. I got married because it made sense to me. Not because someone told me to. Not because I was born dreaming of getting maried and having kids. I really didnt care about that 5/6 years ago. But then I met my wife, and the first thing I thought when I met her was, and I recall this perfectly, \"If I can land this chick Im settled for life\". So, my opinion/advice for you is, don't worry too much about the matters of love and marriage, whatever happens happens. It may come a time where you meet a super nice and pretty girl that is religious and she has always wanted to get maried through church. At that time, it will make sense for you to get maried, even though you don't believe in god or whatever. Call me hipocrit if you want. Or maybe you meet a wonderful satanic girl... who knows?\n\nSo just mind your own life, and love yourself my friend. Life will guide you wherever.\n\nCheers\n",
"rejected": "So there are two scenarios:\n\n1. You decide to not partner with anyone and remain single or casually date: You lose the option of dual income, having a child and a family. You are obviously financially sheltered from a divorce scenario or potential child support.\n\n2. You opt for common law rather then marriage: There are basically no disadvantages for you here and dependent on your situation there maybe a number of advantages especially from a financial perspective. You could still potentially end up with child support payments but in many jurisdictions you're protected from alimony and division of property and assets if you solely own them. I'd still recommend signing a prenup regardless, especially if you own property. But you are legally in a much better position in this situation if things don't work out.\n\nThe nice thing about not being financially chained to someone long term is you have the option to leave without any serious consequences at any time. If you decide you don't like where things are going or you are unhappy you simply hire some movers and leave (or have your partner leave) and then you're done. The unfortunately reality for a lot of married men is they stay in marriages where they are miserable because attempting to leave would have devastating financial consequences for them.\n"
},
{
"query": "How do you feel about your daughters, whether children or teenagers, wearing them in public and to school? What is your opinion on the trend itself among young girls?\nFathers, how do you feel about your daughters wearing yoga pants or leggings?",
"chosen": "My daughter is only 3 right now. Hopefully when she gets older shell be able to wear yoga pants and STILL be able to say no to people she doesnt want to sleep with. Some of you guys are ridiculous. A lot of girls could wear plain sweatpants and guys would still look at them. Its just a part of life and I'm never gonna teach her that she can't wear what she wants because guys might want her sexually. \n\nObviously I wouldn't want her going out half naked but I wouldn't let my son do that either. Its not a gender issue. Y'all need to lighten up for real. Its fucking yoga pants. Not a thong and bikini.\n",
"rejected": "Daughter is 1 right now, holding out that hopefully this trend dies off and everyone dresses in trash bags by the time she's in middle school.\n"
},
{
"query": "Not talking from experience but I've seen this a lot; not having a girlfriend at all seems to be much better.\nDo you feel having a fat SO vastly lowers your status among your friends?",
"chosen": "If how attractive my friends find my girlfriend matters at all to my friends, well, I think I'd need new friends.\n",
"rejected": "Women are more judged on their partners social status and who they are. Girls want their boyfriend to be somebody, the hot fit guy, the drummer in a band, the suave businessman etc... a guy could look like shit but if he's on the college football team he'll have his choice of girls.\n"
},
{
"query": "**What were the circumstances? Were there any positive/negative repercussions?**\n\nWhen I was younger(20) I thought that if you didn't love someone you shouldn't have sex with them. I was in college residing in a dorm and this sweet girl(21, whom I later found out was a virgin) wanted to lose it to me. I felt very uncomfortable because I didn't particularly like her, she was very uptight and 'proper'. But she was gorgeous so I went to her room and we sat on her bed, both knowing what we were there for yet neither making a move. We started making out and she was so stiff and nervous. I could tell just by the way she didn't know what to do with her hands that she hardly ever had kissed a boy before. I suddenly thought \"I'm about to make love to a little kid\" and suddenly felt like a monster. What was I doing there? I got up and left, at the time I had a lot of trouble explaining myself. She called me pleading \"I just wanted someone to sleep with!\"\n\nA ridiculous chapter in my life. Later when my friends found out about it they were dumbfounded and called me every name in the book. Later during the term when I had a girlfriend she confided in me that when she heard what happened she thought I was gay. I think we can say that she was \"Pleasantly surprised\"\nHave you ever turned down sex?",
"chosen": "I was fooling around with my first girlfriend who had a sex drive cranked to 11. She pinned me (I'm a small guy) and started to grind against me. All was good. Then, off went the clothes and she began flesh ~~on~~ in flesh action.\n\nI immediately dodged. Yeah, I dodged to the left. So then she scowled and tried again, but I dodged to the right. It became this odd game like the carnies have of throw-the-hoop-over-the-moving-pole.\n\nMy reasoning was that we weren't using protection, and I had no desire for accidental children. Shortly after, we broke up. Ah well.\n",
"rejected": "Yes, many many times.\n\n1) A few times when girls were drunk. This generally resulted in me having to fight them off for a while, followed by accusing questions in the morning as to whether we'd had sex or not. Only two girls have actually taken no for an answer before; one was only because she also couldn't find a condom, while the other one turned out to be lesbian and just trying to pretend to be straight. One time I couldn't stop the girl... that was unpleasant.\n\n2) With my girlfriend, it happens. Sometimes I'm just not in the mood. Generally I'll just say I'm sleepy. Not much for consequences there.\n\n3) A girl wanted to sleep with me while my girlfriend and I were monogamous. So, no to that one as well. She ended up distancing herself from me for about two years because she realized she couldn't control herself. We're friends again now.\n"
},
{
"query": "25F here. I asked my group of guy friends a question that had them debating for at least 45 minutes. It went, “Would you rather lose 5 inches off of your height, or 3 inches off of your penis length?” (If you had to choose, basically) \n\nThe girls found it hilarious, to say the least.\nGuys - What’s a question you and your mates got into a heated debate over?",
"chosen": "Was the emperor the bad guy all along?\n",
"rejected": "The term milf applies to those over 30. If you’re 21 and attractive and have a 2 year old that’s not a milf. That’s a young mom. \n\nYes I know technically a milf is a mother. But if someone says hey I hooked up with a milf are you thinking of a 20 something or a 30-40 year old?\n"
},
{
"query": "Feel free to share any examples of this that you've experienced, as well.\nDo you have a kink/fetish/sexual preference that you're ashamed or embarrassed of? If so, what is it?",
"chosen": "The best way I can say this is I love to give orgasms, and I'll do anything to turn her on. I love pegging, to do oral especially when she hasn't showered that day, to lick her butthole, anal, bdsm, forced orgasm, rape, being raped, romance, anything it takes to get her off. I honestly love everything (except poop and vomit because a guy has to keep it classy).\n",
"rejected": "I want a huge mansion, 50 rooms, each filled with a different women chained to the bed or walls to be used as my personal sex slave.\n\nI also always thought it would be hot to run some kind of business where inexperienced women pay me to teach them about sex, hands on instruction of course.\n"
},
{
"query": "I noticed my neighbor trying to hang Christmas lights today without a ladder. He had backed his truck up to his roof line and placed a step-stool into the bed of his truck. I walked over with my 8’ ladder and offered it to him and he says, “Oh! You have a ladder!” It just kind of struck me. I feel like a ladder is something pretty basic for a homeowner. \n\nSo, Men of Reddit, what say you?\nMen of Reddit: What is an essential/basic item you think all homeowners should own?",
"chosen": "We don’t have a ladder either lol.\n\nSnowblower tho\n",
"rejected": "NEVER underestimate having atleast a little canned food and water in your basement and/or storage room\n"
}
] | 5
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000016689300537109375,
"logprob2": -6.125,
"signal": 6.124998331069946
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000013113021850585938,
"logprob2": -9.75,
"signal": 9.749998688697815
}
| 3.625
| 2
|
25403
|
[
{
"query": "Hey coven! This sub is always a place of refuge for me, and I wondered if you had any recommendations for similar feeling subs. Alternately, you could just reply with a sub you love! My “home” page needs sprucing up. Thanks!\nWhat are your favorite subreddits?",
"chosen": "These are the ones I check daily: r/Ohio r/Columbus r/Toledo r/Cincinnati r/Dayton r/AskWomen r/AskFeminists r/Feminism r/NotHowGirlsWork r/WhenWomenRefuse r/SuperMario r/Mario r/DC_Cinematic r/Superman r/Brutalism r/VaporwaveAesthetics r/RetroFuturism r/CassetteFuturism r/Cyberpunk r/ImaginaryCyberpunk\n",
"rejected": "I can’t believe I haven’t seen anyone else mention r/SASSWitches. It’s awesome. \n\nAlso love r/GreenWitch and r/kitchenwitch.\n"
},
{
"query": "TL;DR at the bottom! \n\nSo very recently, my partner and I got into a fight about my uncomfortableness with her going out with other people. When we first started dating, she told me she was polyamorus. So, with that knowledge, combined with her okcupid profile stating that she's in an open relationship, and looking for short/long term dating and CASUAL SEX, was I not justified to assume that anyone she met and went out with from Okcupid was a date? When I got upset, I was accused of not trusting her and thinking she'd cheat. But thats not it at all. She has a bad habit of not telling people her intentions, so when she goes out with someone who saw that her profile says \"casual sex,\" they're going to go into it thinking \"cool, sex will happen\" not \"yay, a friend.\" \n\nBut my girlfriend claims that she is only looking for friends, that the \"casual sex\" thing is just because she had everything checked off before we dated and just didn't bother changing it, but I noticed that she changed her relationship status to open relationship and to say that she was polyamorus- so why couldn't she also change the casual sex thing?\n\nSo to sum it up, my partner is on a dating site, with a profile that says she's looking for casual sex and dating, gets messages from people looking for sex/a sexual relationship (and even considers going out with them), but claims to be looking for just friends (but maybe more if they're considered a possible romantic partner) and accuses me of not wanting her to have friends. But if she met someone (like at a trans meet up or a video game thing or anything of the sort), I wouldn't give any fucks about her going and hanging out with them. Its when she goes out with people she meets on a dating site that bothers me\n\nI just want to know if maybe I'm wrong to be angry? Or do I have a right to be a bit upset? Feel free to ask questions if I wasn't clear enough on something!\nMy mtf partner claims she's on okcupid for friends, but Her profile says otherwise?",
"chosen": "Girl do NOT put up with that shit. Trans or not, that's completely disrespectful. And let's be honest, no one goes on a dating site for just friends...there's many other non dating sites a person could go to for friends, or you know, local meetings for a hobby. If she respects you as a partner, she'll take the profile down.\n",
"rejected": "You just described my life. I have gone through all of this with my partner.\n\nI'm a little confused about one point though. Are you in an open relationship with her? You said her account said so, but your anger suggests you expect monogamy.\n"
},
{
"query": "I 30F met guy 30M online and I've been talking to him on phone with him last two months. We talk about two/ three times a week and meeting in person about two weeks from now. \n\nAside from the first day where we exchanged what we do for a living..I noticed that he really doesn't ask me about what exactly I do. I'm in academia. Granted what we do isn't super easy to always understand and we wear many hats, I just find it a little weird that he doesn't exactly ask. I know that he's not alien to academia because his two cousins have a PhD. I defended my thesis last month, and so I would generally say oh I have a lot of writing. He would just ask ohh how's the writing. The day I defended he asked how it went and said \"That's well deserved\" on text and didn't really congratulate me when he called. \n\nAlthough he's in a completely different field..on multiple occasions I've asked him about his work in the past, his shirt terms goals, long term (like if you had to do anything aside from current job what you would do etc). It bothers me that he isn't bothered to ask me much about it. It's not a test, but he didn't pass either. I'm bummed he doesn't care. I'm hoping he wants to learn more about me when we meet but I also think it's super wierd for me to say \"How come you never ask about my work?\". Just wondering if anyone has been in such a situation before and how you handled\n\"Date\" not interested in my career",
"chosen": "If you want someone who's going to make a big deal about things then this guy isn't for you. He's for someone who wants a low key guy.\n",
"rejected": "The older I get the more I realize some people really truly don’t care much about what they (or others) do, beyond the fact it produces a paycheck. I’ve known a couple people for years casually who never asked my job, to this day they don’t know where I work or what I do. This is IRL! Not online. \n\nI’m not that way, it’s among the first couple things I want to know about a person! But for some reason some people really don’t seem interested. I don’t get it either. \n\nDoes he have a “job”, or does he have a “career”?\n"
},
{
"query": "So... A recent momemnt with a coworker (a week ago now) is still stewing and the fact that is still stuck in my brain made me want to share it here.\n\nLiving in the Bible Belt has made me pretty immune to most conversations around Christianity. Their god is everywhere here. I was raised 7th Day Adventist, so from an early age I grew up defending what made my mother's religion valid or \"more correct\" than other variants. These days I'm soundly in the spiritual and self defined witchcraft category. My beliefs can be boiled down to: *dont be a dick.* Just be good to those around you, be compassionate and kind to others when you can, treat animals & the earth as best you can. Most importantly: if it keeps you safe, keeps you alive, and doesn't cause active harm to another, exist in whatever way you need to. \n\nChristianity to me has always been so performative. Social & moral grandstanding used to create hate and chaos. But on the rare occasions that I meet those of true, genuine faith, I find them facinating. At times I'm envious. (This goes for any religion, I just encounter Christians more often) It's not uncommon for me to ask questions and discuss their faith when I encounter them. \n\nAll this context for a conversation I had with a coworker. She requested time off for a retreat of sorts. So I asked her questions about it. She doesn't go to church and a lot of our opinions on the performative nature of Christian faith lined up. Her retreat was a training course in a sort of spiritual counciling her group does. We discussed a biblical lore for a bit and I mentioned I'd like to read a scholarly translation of the Bible and other Abrahamic texts. Conversation turned to my own feelings on faith. \n\nI said I do my best to live well, to be good to others. I neel to focus on the one truth I have (living this life) and if it the end there is a judge, I'll know I tried my best to uphold those values. She wasn't rude or cruel, but just quietly said \"that won't be enough for you to get in though.\" The conversation petered out after that, but the way she said it stuck with me. Just kind of melancholy but firm. \n\nNothing I do, no matter how genuine and good I am, is ever or was ever good enough for their god. \n\nAs someone raised in their faith, it still stings.\nHealing from Christianity",
"chosen": "Sounds like your belief system equates to the Wiccan - do what thou wilt and harm none.\n",
"rejected": "Well Christianity is not a monolith. I think when Luther first broke of the Catholic church and started the Reform, he introduced the sola fide dogma, which technically meant you get by just by belief faith, which pissed a lot of priests off, since you didn't need their express advice to go to heaven. \nSo yeah, i feel for you, lots of christians are very judgmental , but I still like to imagine the weighting of the heart like in the Egyptian traditions. I'd like to not have a heavy heart and probably the judge(s) if they exist will be ok\n"
},
{
"query": "I really don't even know what to title this so I'm going to write my issue/question and then hopefully come up with a title.\n\n I'm 33f. I'm married 6 years to the love of my life. We are very healthy physically and mentally and have done very very well career wise. The older I get the more I realize how messy my family is and it's really affected me. I have mild panic attacks before seeing them. I once had an uncovered memory that put me into a ptsd episode for 2 weeks. It wasn't even that bad of a memory, but it is mostly that I am realizing how neglectful they were and still are. More and more I feel the need to make up for it. Pay for this cousins tuition, stay super involved in my nieces life, make sure my sister can find a job, figure out my grandparents finances. I want to stop. I know I need therapy but it's just been hard to find someone. Looking for any wise words someone can give. It's like I love them so much it's actually starting to hurt me.\nThe older I get, the more disappointed I become in my own family and the more trauma I uncover. What do I do?",
"chosen": "Start giving yourself permission to be less available and involved in other peoples lives. It gets easier once you do it regularly.\n\nYou don’t have to ask permission or give reasons why you cannot do something.\n\nI also think half the battle is recognizing this side of yourself and taking steps to put yourself first. You don’t necessarily need a therapist to change things once you are aware of them and want to fix them.\n\nMaybe your partner can also help ground you when you are starting to be too enmeshed with other people.\n",
"rejected": "I think families without issues are RARE. Yes, some families have more toxic issues than others, but unfortunately, such is life. When you think of all the generational trauma and problems that come with each family member, it’s no wonder families are so dysfunctional. I’m developing more of an understanding of how deep this is. Doesn’t make it any easier to deal with, but I have a bit more grace toward myself and my family because none of us are perfect. \n\nWith that being said, it’s not up to you to right all the wrongs of your family. Do what you genuinely feel called to do, but don’t force anything. Don’t sacrifice your well-being for the sake of others. There’s a saying… “you can’t light yourself on fire to keep others warm.” \n\nContinue looking for a therapist… it’s a long journey, but it’s worth it. Tend to your needs and desires as if you were a kid. Practice gratitude. And take pride in the fact that despite all that you’ve been through, you managed to mature into a well-adjusted adult who created a healthy relationship with the love of her life.\n"
},
{
"query": "I hope this question is appropriate for this sub. I would like to ask those of you who have children- what is something I could get for a new mummy that is actually useful and practical? My sister in law is about to give birth to my first niece beginning of January. I got them a bunch if baby stuff, but I don't have children myself so if you guys could tell me what gifts you found really useful after you gave birth, that would be great. So far the only idea I have is a nappy bag but I want to get something for her, not just for the baby. Maybe some creams for her tummy or a soothing gel for the nipples? Do they work? Any recommendations for the brand? \nI don't have budget restrictions. \n\nThank you!\nWhat to get for a new mum",
"chosen": "Lansinoh cream is a life saver if she is going to try breast feeding, good nappies (can't go wrong with pampers) and baby wipes always needed and appreciated, tub of sudocrem, she will get loads of clothes etc as gifts but few people buy the really practical things. Also gift cards are handy so she can buy what is needed as there are always unexpected expenses. Also a thermal cup with a lid for tea etc as in early days no time to make hot drinks.\n\nSource - mum of two three year olds :) \n\nGood luck and hope all goes well!\n",
"rejected": "What I could have used the most was a postpartum Doula. But they are extremely expensive. \n\nA postpartum Doula takes care of mom; whereas a nanny or babysitter takes care of baby.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm curious about how prevalent back pain, specifically lower back pain, is as we start aging. I have a chronic pain disorder and have a lot of chronically ill friends and family so my view of pain is a bit skewed, so I'm curious how common back pain is?\nIf you're over 30, do you have back pain?",
"chosen": "Sometimes. I used to have it more frequently but I worked on building up my strength and that helped reduce it a lot. Now I only occasionally get back pain (after pushing it with heavy lifting, a day after doing a ton of yardwork, after sitting in certain chairs for too long, after standing on hard surfaces for too long in not great shoes). Building up my strength in my glutes and correcting my anterior pelvic tilt helped reduce it a bunch. I had much more back pain in my early 30s than I do now in my mid 40s.\n",
"rejected": "Soo, i would have lower back pain because i work front of the computer all day - but if i work out regularly it disappears. So it’s some extra motivation for it\n"
},
{
"query": "I just hate seeing people use my own religion againts me. I hate not being able to find churches that accept me. I hate seeing people use the bible and God as a tool to spread hate even tho it preaches love. klI wish more people understood that i can be both and that religion realy does mean a lot to me as it helped me find hope even during my lowest points. God created me for the same reason he created grapes but not wine, and wheat but not bread. So we can all enjoy the process of discovery, invention and creation.\nBeing both trans and christian feels so isolating.",
"chosen": "That must be tough I am no longer Christian that religion has done nothing but hurt me for much of my life I will never trust Christianity again and I now approach carefully if someone I meet tells me they’re Christian. But if your religion is that central too your life you will find people who are accepting and actually you know follow the teachings of Christianity hang in there friend\n",
"rejected": "christanity has been warped and used as a political tool to harm most marginalized groups. i'd say develop a personal connection with god and interpret the bible yourself.\n"
},
{
"query": "My husband mtf not using pronouns or anything yet. Still just the same person as the day he told. I’m so happy but sad at the same time so sad. Yesterday we went makeup shopping and in the moment I was happy but sad. And I don’t know if that’s a valid feeling. I’m so happy and proud of everything and happy I get to be apart of every minute of it. But does the sad feeling ever fully stop\nSad but happy",
"chosen": "The sad feeling is still here for me over a year after the initial conversation and I’m still trying to get used to the most obvious HRT changes. I honestly don’t like some of the changes and I don’t mind others.\n\nI still struggle a lot but I was also in a very dark place with my own mental health and the transition made it worse, so it’s not surprising. Healing takes time.\n\nBut there are also more good moments now. There are also more calmer days even though the pain is still there. I’m hoping that in the long run the good and the neutral moments will outnumber the bad moments. Allow yourself to feel ❤️\n",
"rejected": "I once read this metaphor for grief. Imagine a box with a button inside. The grief button. And there's this bouncing ball always pinging around in that box. At first, the ball is huge, constantly hitting the button. But in time, the ball shrinks. So it hits the button less and less often.\nI think that can be very apt at times. The sadness lessens in time, but it may still show its head from time to time.\nRemember that feelings are not good or bad, they just happen. They are valid. What matters is what you do with the feelings.\n"
},
{
"query": "My wonderful 11yo sensitive non-binary kiddo has taken to witchy things! They have been struggling with anxiety and loneliness. I suggested learning about being a forest witch because we live in the forest. It's becoming a major interest!\n\nI want to separate this interest from capitalism and not have them out buying a lot of things. Plus money is tight right now.\n\nWhat tips or tricks are there for getting set up for cheap or free? Have you crafted anything for your altar or used found objects? Any ideas appreciated. Thanks all! I've been learning a lot here!\nSetting up a new forest witch on a low income?",
"chosen": "If you reach out to local florists or grocery stores or places they sell plants, you might be able to see if you could get plants that are past the sellable.\n\n\nOn that same thought, maybe those kinds of places might let your kid do some learning there? Or if there are local parks that have a nature center , that's another place that might be able to offer some knowledge, or might have a clue where you could look.\n\n\nLast thought is if there might be local schools or universities, sometimes they will have some suggestions for non-university-aged students. Local librarian if all else fails.\n",
"rejected": "I'm a full poor witch so I barely buy anything (only incense).\n\nPaper. Paper is cheap. Sigils, notes, spells, all in spell. Easy to burn. Careful tho. \n\nKitchen stuffs, you know, pepper, salt, sugar, bay, parsley, rice, kitchen oil, milk, coffee, all you can find in the kitchen is a spell material and pretty cheap.\n\nThe forest can provide of herbs, branches, leaves, flowers (a good time to learn about the trees and plants they find, but since they are not an expert, try to not burn or consume anything you are 1000000% sure) and stones (also a good time to learn about stones, not crystals, but stones). Of course, a good time to teach them to be polite and eco friendly, to ask to the ecosystem first, to wait they agree to take them.\n\nAny pretty cloth is a good altar cloth. \n\nStart slow a low but also have fun!\n"
},
{
"query": "We will have a television in our home but only in our bedroom (the parents). My husband made the suggestion to take it out of the living room because our daughter was always asking to turn it on, and when it was on she would be sucked in. So distracted. Never wanted to play or read if it was on. Of course we played educational cartoons on PBS and silly cartoons like Boss Baby and Princess Sophia. But she wouldn't want to do anything else. Just watch TV. Anyways, after taking it out she actually wants to read! A whole book! She wants to play and interact and she's adding words to her vocabulary. \n\nNow I'm not going to be one of those parents that say, \"no screen time for my little!\" Because let's be honest, she'll get her tablet for long car rides or days where I'm sick and whatnot. She'll snuggle in bed with us on cold winter nights or when she's sick and we'll watch movies. We just didn't want it to be the most important thing in her life.\nNo more TV in our living room.",
"chosen": "Good for you. I didn't have television in my house growing up for this reason. We have a 9 month old and he never watched TV. Not to say he never will down the line but we don't want it to be something he zombies out to.\n",
"rejected": "I am of the mind of limited screen time. My partner sees nothing wrong with unlimited screen time and step son (12) does almost nothing but be on the computer. Now that out daughter is 6 months I'm trying to figure out how this is going to play out when she starts to understand inequality (brother gets screen time more screen time than me!) I (a SAHM) generally do errands, chores and activities all day and don't turn on the TV until after dinner to watch a show or two to relax. I'm hoping that this pattern will be enough to teach limits and balance, but I doubt it. I'm trying not to explicitly say no or limited screens as this may cause contention with my partner, but I intend to practice it. I'm trying to show him that unlimited screen time stunts imagination. I am not raising a mouse potato.\n"
},
{
"query": "My friend and I completely skipped on going to a baby shower. We completely forgot about it and now we feel stupid. So, what would be a good gift?\nWhat's a good \"sorry we forgot your babyshower\" gift?",
"chosen": "If you have the registry info look it up and see whats been purchased already, but one thing a lot of people (especially first time parents) forget is a humidifier. Also getting things for later on is good, lots of people focus on the adorable tiny clothes but not the safety locks.\n",
"rejected": "Ask the parents if there's anything they want that was missed. Gift cards for Amazon or major stores that either deliver or are very close to their home are very useful for all the things they didn't know they'd need and now desperately want at 4 AM. (Haha). Food delivery gift cards can also be useful. And just apologize for missing- it helps and was probably not a big deal if it was a big shower.\n"
},
{
"query": "What services are you offering? What goods are you stocking?\n\nTagged with Marketplace, albeit imaginary :)\nYou wake up tomorrow morning with the desire, will, and means to open your own witchcraft emporium. What are you selling?",
"chosen": "Responsibly sourced incense and herbs.\n\nMost people don't know when you add basil to food, you're casting a prosperity spell.\n",
"rejected": "Books, divination tools, candles, crystals, herbs, and a cafe will offer coffee and tea (with vegan milks and creamers offered at no extra charge and seasonal flavors offered all-year-round) and the usual cafe snacks and treats. Also not for sale but there will also be lots of big comfy couches, chairs and cushions to sit / lay down on and two store cats providing company to anyone who wants it.\n"
},
{
"query": "Hey Mommit! I've got a broken foot (boo!) and so I'm pretty much stuck at home with my 13 month old baby girl. Anyone have any ideas for activities/things I can do at home to keep her stimulated/entertained? We're usually pretty go, go, go...so home is boring for us :) I'm not crazy about the tv/movies...but I'll put them on occasionally for some colors/outside stimulation. Thanks for your help :)\nBroken foot for mama, need ideas for 'at home' activities for a 13 mo old",
"chosen": "Get a 20 pound bag of rice ($10 at the \"W\" store) and put it in a container large enough to sit and shuffle around in. My 11 month old LOVES to sit and play in it. Put in some measuring cups and spoons and what not.\n\nP.S. Yes, she occasionally eats it, but no big deal. Also, put a large sheet down before playing. It will help tame the scatter.\n",
"rejected": "Hi there other injured mom. I'm currently at home with a broken ankle and a 18 month old little boy. Our favorite thing is to build a fort in the living room with blankets and pillows. We play in it, read books in it, cuddle in it then destroy it and start all over.\n"
},
{
"query": "Hi, I'm searching for pagan music. But a friend of mine who is also pagan warned me to be a bit careful about right-wing, transphobic etc. people mixed in different bands. So I thought I ask here:\n\nWhat are your fav pagan bands?\nWhat are bands I should stay away from?\n\nLots of love to all of you out there <3\nPagan music & right-wing",
"chosen": "Most recommendations I hear are usually like folk or artsy sounding bands. I'm curious if there any that actually have the sound of modern mainstream hard rock or [non-screaming] metal bands.\n\nLike for witchy music (or at least music that has witchy themes or lyrics in a lot of their songs) I love In This Moment, Within Temptation and Nightwish. But actual pagan bands like those? Never heard one.\n",
"rejected": "Eluveitie, first band I ever saw live back in 2009.\n\nThey have multiple women members (one plays the hurdy gurdy lol) and are from Switzerland. There's still a special place in my heart for Eluveitie, when I show it to people they think they are listening to evanescence because the songs that Anna Murphy sings (A Rose for Epona) she sounds a little like a Swiss Amy Lee, but then there are also death metal growls from singer Chrigel Glanzmann that throw it off (Inis Mona being a very good example of his vocal range). They pay homage mainly to Roman-era Celts, particularly Gallic deities. Another good song from more recently is Epona (just Epona, not A Rose for Epona) that showcases this more overtly. Their witchiest song is definitely Omnos, you wouldn't know they have death metal songs in their catalogue from hearing that one.\n"
},
{
"query": "My boyfriend has always had some problems with his appearance. He's also mentioned that he doesn't have a strong attachment to his gender, and has always had difficulty understanding people who identify strongly with one gender or another. So when he recently came out to me as a trans woman, I wasn't too surprised. I'm bisexual, so this didn't really phase me. His transition won't effect our sex life or relationship.\n\nHe wants to go for a more androgynous look, so he can have male days and female days. He told me that he's more genderfluid than trans, but since he wants to undergo HRT and top surgery, it's just easier to explain he's trans to people than get into the specifics.\n\nAnyway, he wants to keep his penis. He doesn't really associate his penis with masculinity, and doesn't want surgery to take it away. He basically wants to have the body of a woman, but with a penis. I've read a lot of people talk about how HRT can cause it to shrink and atrophy, and he's scared that will happen to him. I know he wants to undergo HRT really badly, but he's afraid of what it will do with his penis.\n\nIs there any way for him to get the body type he wants? Is there anyone else out there who's gone through something similar? Any help is appreciated.\n\n(Note: I use male pronouns because he hasn't started HRT yet. He doesn't care what pronouns I use to describe him. He feels like he has aspects of both, so either one fits him. I'll probably switch my pronouns when he comes out to everyone)\nLooking for help about my Non-op MtF boyfriend (soon to be girlfriend)",
"chosen": "Just a note that genderqueer people often also id as Trans and are capable of transitioning. Trans isn't a term only binary people get to use.\n\nThat said I am no hormone expert but what I've gleaned from other similar discussions is that regular use of the penis helps prevent atrophy.\n",
"rejected": "HRT definitely makes things shrink a bit, but not all that much. The main thing it does is (1) make sensations feel really different, to the point that some of the things they currently like will... not feel as good, and (2) make it really hard to get an erection. Especially if your partner is going to be taking androgen-blockers like spirolactone.\n\nIf your partner really wants to be able to use it for penetration, they might want to look into Viagra or something similar to help (seriously, I've heard of some trans women doing this!).\n"
}
] | 12
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000013113021850585938,
"logprob2": -7.875,
"signal": 7.874998688697815
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000263214111328125,
"logprob2": -6,
"signal": 5.999736785888672
}
| -1.875262
| 3
|
1001
|
[
{
"query": "I [25F] started approaching guys in a bars. They mostly stand by the bar with a glass in their hands, not dancing, so I figured out, it's OK to approach. \n\nBut I never succed. They act really uninterested, so I usually leave after 3-4 sentences. \n\nI usually start with Hey! and then make a comment or (a innocent joke) about his drink, or maybe his hairstyle (that it looks good), his clothes... something that I noticed about him. But all of the guys gave really short answers, tried to continue conversation and then I leave because I don't want to bother people. \n\nIn the last three months I approached around 13 guys, but nothing succesfull. It all ended the same. \n\n\n*This is a general question, I'm not looking for advice about my story/problem* \n\n**How would you like a girl to approach you and what's a good thing to say, so you will find a woman interesting?**\nWhen approaching a guy in a bar (or at a small party) what are good opening lines/conversation topics?",
"chosen": "there is not hing wrong with my appereance. I understand people have different tastes, but I am quite attractive.\n",
"rejected": "Girls come at this the wrong way. Attraction works differently for the two genders.\n\nGuys usually will not care how you open a conversation; what they care about is *what you bring to the table before even opening your mouth*. As in:\n\n- are you in shape? (This is an important one. Post history shows you made a thread about \"plus size models\" and then got angry/defensive when men said they weren't into fat chicks. I have to wonder why that was such a touchy issue for you...)\n\n- do you have a good sense of fashion? As in, can you find clothing that fits your curves and makes you look nice?\n\n- Do you have an attractive smile? Attractive hairstyle?\n\nAnd so on, so forth. Men's attraction is **highly visual**. If you want to attract guys at a bar, keep that in mind and don't worry so much about what to actually say. If you've got the visual attraction down, you can say \"hi\" and that's honestly enough to hook most guys.\n"
},
{
"query": "Stumbled upon this question on askwomen, and i was interested how /r/askmen would answer.\nGentlemen: if there's a piece of advice you could share with the whole female population, what would it be?",
"chosen": "When we say \"calm down\" or \"you're overreacting\", and you blow up- you're not emphasizing your point or \"winning your respect back\", you're proving us right. \nDon't do that. Talk, with your words.\n",
"rejected": "When we say, \"we don't care\" in reference to going somewhere or making a decision. That really means, \"we don't care\". Not that we hate it, we literally have no care one way or the other. \n\nEspecially with regards to a place to eat.\n"
},
{
"query": "They say that if they approach a girl and she says no, the girl ends up feeling good about herself for being attractive while the guy ends up feeling bad because he wasn't enough\n\nIt actually sort of makes sense\nSome of my male friends say they don't approach women because they don't want to boost their ego... does this make sense?",
"chosen": "This only describes the game theory consequence of a very limited interaction: The Power Vamp vs. The Transactional Man. It loses relevance in other dyads. Seeing every woman as a vamp, and approaching none of them, is a self-destructive mindset. It might be better to approach women with a presumption of authenticity, but have a stake ready to assassinate vamps. They may reveal themselves with a cold shoulder and a knowing smirk to their friends.\n\nThe guy can't do anything about her rejecting him. But he can deny her the benefit, and discourage future shenanigans, with a few choice words.\n",
"rejected": "There are several reasons a woman might say 'No.', when approached. \n\n\nAssuming it's because you're 'not enough' is silly.\n"
},
{
"query": "Say you are making significantly more. Double or more than her. But she is not a fresh grad. \n\nWhat's your spending ratio in the relationship? Is it still 50/50 or you pay significantly more for her? (Food, travelling, entertainment, etc)\nWhat is your spending ratio if you make more than gf?",
"chosen": "Right, so your family may have money but you don't. That's what I'm saying, I need someone who makes similar to what I do. I like expensive travel and hobbies, and I want to do it with someone who can also afford the same things. I don't care if it comes from family money/help, or their own income.\n",
"rejected": "I always plan on paying. Sometimes she jumps in. I don't know the exact ratio, but I feel like it's 60/40.\n"
},
{
"query": "I have an old college friend that I recently ran into while transferring at a train station and it initiated a brief text conversation that got rather flirtatious. She gave me the go ahead to let her know when ever I was in the city so we could hang out, to which I agreed. Although she is physically plain as paper I have a strange sexual attraction to her, and I say strange because I can be vain and my standards for a woman are farther reaching. I have no romantic notions towards this girl but I do want to sleep with her. She led me to believe that she was more into that idea then me through her manner of coquettish syntax. I feel that if I told her prior to intercourse it would come off arrogantly as I would be assuming that sex is already on the table, and to do after it would just be a cop-out to hitting and quitting which out of respect to her I wouldn't want to do. So the recourse I'm looking for is both *when*, and *how* I should tell her if I meet her this weekend. \n\nTL;DR : Wanna bang flirtatious friend I respect, How should I approach telling her I don't want anything more than a FWB relationship w/o being arrogant or disrespectful?\nWhen is the appropriate time to tell a romantic interest that you have no intention of being more than FWB?",
"chosen": "As a woman, I'd want to you to let me know, in plain English, that you are not looking for a relationship. Then I could decide if sex is still something I'm interested in with the guy, knowing that it will be a one time or casual thing.\n",
"rejected": "I feel this is one of the situations where you have to feel out the scenario before saying anything. Who knows if she is on the same page with you or not. Just see where things are going and let her know if it is heading in that direction.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm a 3rd year college student who hasn't been on a lot of dates in general outside of using dating apps. And even in regards to those dating apps, most convo's/dates don't really go anywhere.\n\nSo I've never asked a girl out in the real world, as I've never been in a situation where I have girls I can talk to. My classes are pretty sparse and primarily male. I emailed a bunch of clubs in February asking if they were accepting new members, only a couple replied and I've joined one of those. However, I'm not really into any of the girls that show up to those club meetings. There's a month left in my semester, I feel like I'm just gonna have to wait till September to meet someone, which is not ideal :/\n\nMy friends aren't really the party type, so I don't really know anybody that goes to parties. They're also not the drinking type, and for one I'm not sure how i'd do at bars, and I'd like something serious and not a one night stand kind of thing.\nAny ideas would be much appreciated!\nHow to meet girls in College?",
"chosen": "Jesus, dude, it's college. Just go DO something, anything. I met girls playing hacky sack and foosball. Hell, I got laid via Student Government for fuck's sake.\n\nLiterally, it would be harder to not meet women. I don't \"party\" either. My version of a party is a ton of people crammed in my apartment watching movies and playing games of the board, card and video variety. Yes, plenty of girls showed up.\n",
"rejected": "The first night of freshman orientation, I went to the common room of my dorm. A bunch of people, male and female, were hanging out and I introduced myself.\n\nI wound up playing some cards with a handfull of those people, and then one of them suggested we all watch a movie. I wound up really vibing with one of the girls in that group while playing the game and talking, so during the movie we kind of scootched closer and closer to one another. After it was over, she had her head on my shoulder and I asked her if she wanted to go for a walk around campus. We went for a nice walk, hand in hand and wound up making out for a while. \n\nThat little interaction didn't really go anywhere (as much as I would have liked it to), but it gave me the confidence to keep talking to and making friends with more people in my immediate vicinity, both guys and gals. The next day from the above story I met my first serious, long-term girlfriend, who lived one floor above me, and we were dating about a week or so after that first night at college. All it took was introducing myself and making new friends.\n"
},
{
"query": "Is this something you get really nervous over, or is it easy for you? Is there anything a girl can do to make it easier for you?\nHow stressful/difficult is it for you to ask a girl out on a date?",
"chosen": "Its basically impossible, in the sense that no matter what I'm going to be convinced she'll say no and therefore why bother. As to how she can make it easier, um, maybe ask me.\n",
"rejected": "When I was younger, it was pretty much piss my pants and hope to god she doesn't kill me. Now that I'm older, I don't pee my pants. \n\nI would say if you're declining, be firm and polite. If they don't take that right, *then* get mean if you need to.\n"
},
{
"query": "Yesterday on campus, I noticed a guy wearing a shirt with very prominent writing, saying \"Pussy: The most expensive meat you'll ever eat.\" I found it really off-putting and was surprised he'd wear it to a place like class. What would make a man wear this kind of thing to class?\nCould someone please explain why a man would wear this kind of thing to a college class?",
"chosen": "He's testing the limits of society now that his mom isn't washing his clothes any more.\n",
"rejected": "I find it ironic that your reaction is part of the reason for wearing something like that.\n"
},
{
"query": "In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.\n\nI know it’s just a stereotype that men constantly want sex and women always turn it down. However, am I doing something wrong?\n\nI’m fine with a 2-3 times a week. We have needs.\nMen, how often do you want to have sex?",
"chosen": "maybe 1 once a month if they want to\n",
"rejected": "*In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.*\n\n*However, am I doing something wrong?*\n\nAre you initiating the sex, or are you just waiting for him to take the lead and when he doesn't you assume he doesn't want to have sex? It's quite possible he did want more sex but thought you didn't, so he didn't bother trying.\n\nLikewise, guys will sometimes avoid it if they're stressed, not feeling great, etc. Not necessarily because they don't want it, but because they're worried they won't be able to perform and it'll be very embarrassing.\n"
},
{
"query": "Basically, whenever my friends and I are at a party, out on the town, or just around new people in general, we have a signal for getting each other out of uncomfortable situations. All any of us has to do is put two fingers in the air (peace sign) and then someone will come make up an excuse or something to get us out of the situation. It works great in a club or party since it isn't uncommon for people to have their hands in the air. Are we weird for doing this?\nAre my friends and I wierd for having a safety signal?",
"chosen": "You could just learn to say \"Excuse me, I have to go.\" and remover yourself from speaking with the person. If they persist, a \"Leave me alone. Now.\" should do the trick. Failing that, call for bar security, the host, or the cops, depending on the context.\n\nBut secret signals and such? Really? Whatever happened to just telling people to buzz off?\n",
"rejected": "My wife and I have a whole series of codes. Each one has a gesture or facial expression and a number. This allows us to give each other a look that communicates something, or if we need to be more discrete, to tap/kick under a table to say it. Our most-used examples:\n\n1) \"There is something happening right now that you need to look at.\" This signal is accomplished by opening your eyes a little extra wide and making eye contact. Serious uses are few, normally this is reserved getting my wife to see her sister-in-law doing something incredibly stupid so we can mock her behind her back later.\n\n2) \"I just said something, or am about to say something, that is untrue. Don't believe me, don't call me on it.\" Eye contact, lips pursed, one eyebrow raised, slightly nodding in a serious, \"yep, that's true\" kind of face. Hard to explain. Point is, this allows us to make totally bogus excuses or drop hints to one another. I can say that we need to go because we only have the babysitter until 9, and rather than correct me that it's until 12 she'll agree. Or I can say something sounds like a good idea, and she'll know I'm just being nice. Useful when you're around people you don't like but are obligated to spend time with, like your family.\n"
},
{
"query": "My best friend (female) has been in an abusive relationship for a long time. She needs to get out. For background, everyone involved is 24 years old.\n\nI'll try to keep this short... The guy she is with is manipulative, controlling, and psychologically abusive. For years, it's been nothing but him yelling at her for doing nothing wrong. For example, she isn't \"allowed\" to have pictures of them together. Not on social media, not in print, nowhere. He keeps every picture. If she gets caught with a picture, he'll tear into her about how awful she is and how she doesn't care about his future.\n\nMost recently, he reamed her out because I offered to watch her cat while she was away for a night. I live 5 minutes away and he lives an hour away, it just made sense. He told her to \"leave him the hell alone\" for that weekend. Later that day, he called her. She didn't have her phone on and didn't answer. When she turned it back on, she had voicemails screaming at her for not answering and demanding that she come to his house right away. \n\nThe problem is that she thinks she deserves this. Every time she comes to me with a story about another fight, it ends with \"but I deserved it.\" Nothing I say to her is making a difference. All of her friends and family tell her the same things I tell her. She recently told me that this is just how relationships are supposed to be. She thinks that she \"doesn't deserve any more happiness than this\" because she's \"too awful to have anyone else.\" I think that deep down, she's afraid to leave him and afraid to be alone.\n\nIt genuinely tears me apart to see her treated like this because she's an amazing person. She has her faults, but no worse than you or I. How do I handle this situation?\nBest friend is in an abusive relationship... how do I step in?",
"chosen": "OP, I have three wonderful sisters that were also, for a very long time, stuck in an abusive relationship.\n\nHere's the harsh truth you won't want to hear - there isn't shit you *can* do. She's fucked in the head and idolizes this asshole. If you go against him, she will see you as the \"bad guy\" in the situation. What you have to do is just wait. You wait until she snaps out of it and gets out on her own. And then you try and get her back on track mentally again.\n\nIf you just remove the dude out of the picture, you won't accomplish anything. She'll just go for some other asshole. The problem isn't so much this guy, the problem is that she's attracted to that sort of guy. Let me guess, her father either wasn't around or is a prick? It's a shitty situation. Worst part is, she might be a lost cause OP. You need to accept that now. She may never get out of the mindset that she deserves someone shitty. And there might not be a thing you can do about it.\n\nI had to watch my sisters fuck themselves and their children up for years. It's not easy, assuming you do stick around you're in for some pain as an observer. It's hard watching a train wreck, especially when it takes years to come to a stop so you can survey the damage.\n\nGood luck OP. Here's to hoping that situation gets sorted out soon.\n",
"rejected": "Good luck with that. There is no happy ending to this, even if she leaves him. That's only the beginning.\n"
},
{
"query": "When I meet someone I'm interested in I seem to fluctuate between thinking the person is great and picking apart and over-analysing their flaws. \n\nHow open-minded should you be about someone you're dating? \n\nHow do you know you are genuinely attracted to someone and not just deciding you should give them a chance?\nHow do you know when you're genuinely attracted to someone?",
"chosen": "You just *know*, you know?\n",
"rejected": "I can listen to the shitty music they like and almost convince myself that I enjoy it too.\n"
},
{
"query": "What moment or experience made you gain or develop your self-respect? \n\nI've already talked about this a lot, but for me, when I was 17/18, a girl I was friends with knew I had a crush on her. After confessing my feelings to her, she threw it back in my face, launched into a tirade about how all of her guy friends fall for her, and how I had ulterior motives. After the incident she'd use the feelings I had for her to get anything she wanted-car rides, money, time spent listening to why the latest guy won't date her.\n\n\nOne day she was jerking me around over text on setting up a time for coffee- I had been distancing myself because I wanted to focus more on my studies and less on a person that made me feel like utter crap every time we spoke. I texted that we should reschedule, as I had a meeting to get to, and I needed to finish up an assignment. She replied with the same line she'd spout to get me to do anything she wanted: \"well it seems to me that we shouldn't be friends anymore.\"\n\n\nWell, that really pissed me off. Something in me snapped that day. I had enough of being treated like that, so I sent back a message saying \"well it seems to me that your definition of a friend is synonymous with 'doormat,' have a nice life.\" She then shot back texts saying how could I take our friendship so lightlytc, blowing up my phone with texts and calls trying to get me to pickup. I answered the first few and started ignoring the rest.\n\n\nA few months later she tried to reconnect- I had deleted her number and didn't recognise it. When I sent back a \"who dis\" text, she was SUPER pissed off that I had erased her number. I stopped responding.\n\n\nAbout a year later she roped my friend into trying to get me to see her- he asked to hang out and told me she was coming when I was almost at the meeting spot. At one point she excused herself to visit the bathroom and my friend tried to get me to be friends with her again. Didn't work.\n\nIt took me a while to find it- there are plenty of experiences I had with her in particular where I should have respected myself more, but I'm glad I eventually found it. What. Are your experiences?\nWhat was the defining moment where you found your self-respect?",
"chosen": "I'm 26... still waiting for that moment.\n",
"rejected": "I'm not sure if this fits with this thread.\n\n\nI use to have low self esteem about how I look. I still do to a point, but I'm much better than I was.\n\n\nI use to sleep with any girl who showed some attraction to me. It didn't matter what she looked like really. The fact that she showed interest was enough for me. I didn't think I was good enough for anybody I was actually attracted to.\n\n\nI was invited to a birthday and my friend, the birthday girl told me a friend of hers saw me in the invite list on Facebook and wanted to be set up with me.\n\n\nShe was a nice girl and all. Just not my type. I ended up turning her down. It was a huge moment for me. I know it might sound weird reading this. I actually said no. From then on I gained a huge amount of self respect which continues to this day.\n"
}
] | 8
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000013113021850585938,
"logprob2": -7.125,
"signal": 7.124998688697815
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00003600120544433594,
"logprob2": -6.875,
"signal": 6.874963998794556
}
| -0.250035
| 4
|
29141
|
[
{
"query": "Anyone feel like they’re more interested in explore/ dating women at this point on your life?\n\nI love men, I always knew I was attracted to women too, but the urge to want to date women and see if i might be more compatible in a deeper sense is something that has increased more over the last few years, anyone else have similar thoughts? I’m wondering if this is me just being disappointed with the quality of men I’ve met or something deeper. Some of the women around me confirmed similar feelings\nAnyone feel like they’re more interested in experimenting with the same sex as they got older",
"chosen": "Yes, but by knowing you were always attracted to women it just means you’re bisexual so it’s pretty natural for you to wonder.\n\nI will say that being in a relationship with a woman was so much work than I anticipated. I’ve dated a few, all very different, with the idea that I was going to get my emotional needs met more, I was going to have a deeper connection and more understanding. \nNOPE. Lol\nAgain, all very different women so having the same sort of experience with all of them was surprising. \nAlso sex. \nIf dating a woman is something you’re ready for - be ready to eat pussy. Some women don’t shave, some do, some are bald. All vaginas smell different and some don’t smell great. \nSome vaginas have huge clots and some have dangling lips.\n\nSorry for being graphic but it’s all important when considering the context of dating and how far you’re ready to go.\n",
"rejected": "In the bi community, there is often talk of \"the bi-cycle\" which is how your attraction to different genders can be stronger and weaker throughout your life. Verilybitchie has a good video on it on YouTube. If you are feeling your need to date women deepen, why not do just that? If you know you are attracted to women it isn't even experimenting, it is literally just regular dating!\n"
},
{
"query": "I didn’t grow up with an example of a healthy relationship, and I think my view of what’s acceptable is skewed. \n\nIn a healthy marriage, over the span of 40-50 years… is it ever acceptable/appropriate to yell or scream at your partner? \n\nIn what scenarios does someone deserve to be yelled at?\n\nTLDR: the title question summarizes it. I think my core beliefs are fucked up.\nIs it ever ok to yell/scream at your partner?",
"chosen": "If they're on the curb and about to get flattened by oncoming traffic, you can probably yell at them to snap back to reality.\n\nAny other context? No way.\n",
"rejected": "In anger? No. Last time I yelled at my husband he was backing the car out but didn’t realize the garage door was still down. Panic yelling for emergency situations is ok. Yelling because you’re mad isn’t.\n"
},
{
"query": "Is it normal for a 12 day old to be awake all day? LO woke up at 6 am and it's almost 5 pm here at this point. He was in his bouncer for a while and only slept 10 minutes, and he's been screaming to be held otherwise. I tried leaving him in his bassinet, checking his diaper, feeding, bath, and bouncer again but he's inconsolable. I've walked him around the apartment for a solid half hour, bouncing and burping him and he doesn't seem to be gassy. Any ideas?\n12 day old awake all day",
"chosen": "Read “the happiest baby on the block”. He gives a great rationale about what babies need in -the”fourth trimester” and how to provide that environment. It’s 5 s’s; swaddle, shhh, and I’m sorry I don’t remember the others right now. He’s pretty clear you should start with swaddling because of the hyperactive startle reflex. :) good luck, hang in there!\n",
"rejected": "My son would stay awake all day long. Cutting out all forms of caffeine (including chocolate) helped a little. He's 5 months now and still only takes 2-30 min naps a day and sleeps from 9pm to 7am. He's happy and healthy but doesn't sleep. Your LO could also be clusterfeeding so since you are pumping only it could be his body telling him to stay awake and eat.\n"
},
{
"query": "I’m at a loss with my one year old. He was a champion at sleeping before, a bottle and being held he would go to sleep on his own without issue. It’s like right at age one he’s totally changed. He screams and cries at nap and bed time. We’ve moved his bed time up, put him on a schedule that been suits that new bed time and he still will frequently either completely melt down at nap time or bed time or both. It’s not often I get a day without one power struggle for sleep. \n\nI’ve let him cry it out, I’ve given him a bottle right before being laid down, I’ve “Ferber’d” him, I’ve picked him back up til he calms down and then let him cry it out again and see if he self soothes. I don’t know how to make nap time or bed time not a screaming/crying/traumatic match. \n\nIs this just a normal sleep regression? I will add that when he finally succumbs to sleep he will sleep through the night no issue. I just don’t know how to make his transition to sleep easier for him. We have the room nice and dark, white noise, his favorite lovey. \n\nHelp. I’d love suggestions or even just anyone else to tell me this is totally normal and a phase and he will just grow out of it and that I’m not an awful mom\nToddler fights nap/bedtime",
"chosen": "my daughter is younger than your son so i have no advice but i do know this: you're DEFINITELY NOT an awful mom. i would guess this is a phase, maybe due to separation anxiety/FOMO?\n",
"rejected": "In my experience, totally normal. It'll happen from time to time. He might be getting ready to drop a nap, or is just doing some growing or is stressed about something. \n\nSome thing's that worked for us at different points:\n\nWill he sleep in the stroller or car? Sometimes getting just one good nap in can make other naps/bedtime easier.\n\n Maybe set aside a few books that are just \"naptime\" or \"bedtime\" books. Having a set of rituals really helped. For a while we had a sleep sack that was just for naptimes. \n\nIn the worst days, I would throw my toddler into the Ergo and just go about my day/errands. 9/10 she would fall asleep. \n\nGood luck! Remember, this too shall pass.\n"
},
{
"query": "My husband and I were planning to visit our friends with the baby next month, mainly because the cabin fever is real for me. We did a ton of travel pre-baby and still haven't gone anywhere once pandemic travel restrictions were lifted. So I'm super antsy.\n\nMy husband just got a new job and can't swing the time off anymore, but I still really want to go. It would be a nonstop flight, no connections. I would need to check a carseat and our bag which is fine since it's Southwest. I wanted to get a reality check if I'm nuts and just riding on optimism or if this isn't a good idea until she's a few months older.\n\nAny success stories or otherwise?\nAm I crazy to fly with my 3 month old solo?",
"chosen": "It should be fine. Plan to feed baby on the plane because that clears their ears and helps them sleep through the flight. We always try to borrow things at the destination and plan to do laundry there to reduce the amount of things to bring. Kids can learn to be adaptable, and I think traveling with your kids is a learned skill.\n",
"rejected": "I flew solo with mine at 4 months. Honestly wasn't that big of a deal. Just practice things like baby wearing and peeing at the same time, lol.\n"
},
{
"query": "Anyone have issues with their child having a solid poo followed by a loose poop? This has been going on for a couple weeks now with my 3 year old daughter. She will have diarrhea. Produce a solid poo. Then shortly later more loose poo. We have called the doctor's office multiple times but they just keep saying as long as she's acting normal then they aren't concerned. Looking for thoughts and advice please.\n\nThanks all.\nToddler Poo Issue",
"chosen": "Yes! Our 3 year old will do this too. One solid poop followed by 1-3 looser poops. He seems fine. I haven't been concerned. But he also isn't completely potty trained and that concerns me more. He pees in the toilet but won't poop. Good luck!\n",
"rejected": "My pediatrician suggested we give my 3 yr old a half capful of stool softener everyday. He was having this same issue and it was causing issues with potty training. Within 5 days our household completely changed, for the better! The hard/loose stool issue wasn’t because of food, it was because he was scared of his hard poops hurting, and his holding it in was causing major problems, including a follow up round of diarrhea. Now he goes twice a day, like clockwork, no fighting, no pain.\n"
},
{
"query": "Kings, queens, non-binary fiends and everyone in between....what is something that you do to let off steam? Like I don't want \"take a bath\" or \"cook for myself\". I do that all the time. I mean what do you do to completely let it all out and release all that tension? I want to try them all! I've been built up emotionally my whole life and lately it feels like the whole 'self care' thing is just pushing it farther down. And I honestly want to maybe film the experiences and rate the best one. Maybe if I can do it for myself, I can incourage others to do so.\nmental health",
"chosen": "I box, run, or aggressively attempt to practise ballet. Usually while angrily trying to debate both sides of whatever made me angry to myself out loud. It helps to have to think about both sides, but also to have a physical outlet.\n\nGotta be something physical and singular to expend the violent rage. It's pretty rare these days, but it took me a long time to find healthy outputs.\n",
"rejected": "Physical hobbies, sports, or some form of craft which requires you to work with your hands - pottery is a great one as you can tear and mess the shit out of a ball of clay and then let it dry, look at your child of anger and smash it. Same with painting. A canvas it a wall, and then have an ongoing fuck everything wall. Great talking point lol.\n"
},
{
"query": "I am a first time mom of a girl, born July 21,2014 for reference, so 2.5 yrs old.\n\n\nLately, she has been:\n\n- eating non stop (previously only drank milk by choice, doesn't want to eat etc)\n\n- looks the same but has gotten a big belly ( I'm not worried about her vanity just concerned about this )\n\n\n- she's normal at an average weight and height but I'm concerned about her constant need for milk ( 6-7 180 ml bottles a day mixed with formula) + tiny amounts of frequent food, still a picky eater and requests popcorn 3 times a day, I give her a cup each time\n\n- she has also been crying a lot at every opportunity, I'm a single mom and my mom and I live together to raise her etc, none of us are spoiling her but although I have tried to ignore the crying that's not related to anything serious (she cries when she doesn't want to change her diaper etc), the frequency is making me wonder if this is normal?\n\nI was an only child with zero experience with children and would love other moms advice\nToddler big belly and nonstop crying",
"chosen": "If you are concerned, def go talk to your pediatrician. It never hurts to get a professional option.\n\nMy daughter is 3 and she often gets a belly when she eats a ton. I don't know how she packs in all the food she does, but she gets a significant \"food baby\" when she eats a big meal.\n\nCould the crying and pickiness be related to teething? My daughter's molars started coming in around then and she was a bear to deal with. Smoothies, popsicles and soft foods (bananas) were key on bad days where her teeth really hurt.\n\nIt could also be a growth spurt. The excessive eating coupled with grumpiness (growing pains) sound like a typical growth spurt to me as well.\n",
"rejected": "My daughter is nearly 3.5, but I agree with the other posters here.\n\n1) Cut out the formula. She's old enough to be drinking regular milk and she should be at this point. (Check with your pediatrician if you're still unsure, but my doc was pretty firm on this.)\n\n2) Cut way back on the popcorn, it's probably not helping her move her bowels and causing pain.\n\n3) Milk should be with meals, water otherwise if she's thirsty. This is probably keeping her from eating regular meals because she feels full from the milk.\n\n4) Cut out the \"snacking\" behavior and provide full meals with a small healthy snack mid morning and mid afternoon.\n"
},
{
"query": "Did you make a big move in order to be close to family? How did it go? What was the biggest sacrifice? What tipped the scales in favor of a move for you?\n\nBackground: My husband, myself, and our 18mo live in New England. My mother lives about 2 hours away, but the rest of my extended family are 8-9 hours away. Visits are infrequent, about once a year for the extended family and about every other month for my mom.\n\nOur hope: To move to California to be close to my husbands family. We would move in with his mom (which I have a close relationship with), to get back on our feet, and eventually take over her mortgage as she retires. My husband has a handful of cousins and aunts/uncles within an hour away, and my daughter has 4 cousins around her age in the area......plus the hope that there will be more!\n\nMain Problem: My husband and I are self-employed. I own a wholesale bakery and he has a architectural metal shop. Our businesses are just starting to take off. We've worked really really hard for our client bases, to network, to build up our daily-lives into something that we love. Moving both businesses to CA is a mammoth undertaking. There is certainly fertile ground to re-start, and while I will lose my entire clientele, my husband is already working nationally and will be able to continue working with a portion of his clients. \n\nMy biggest fear if we move, is that we will spend so much money to move, basically re-vert back to start-up phase with the business (which for those of you who have never done-it.....it's like re-doing the newborn thing with your kids......except you don't know how long it will last and if your business will ever grow-up)\n\nMy biggest fear if we stay, is that our daughter grows up without an extended family. AND that I probably won't have another child since having zero family help is really hard. \n\nI know the list of variables is endless, and even what we can quantify is somewhat speculative.....but any advice with this would be most welcome.\nConsidering a cross-country move to be close to family, your perspectives needed.",
"chosen": "I've not experienced this myself, the move part that is. However, as a child I grew up a minimum of 12 hours from any extended family. This meant for me a fun trip one a summer to stay with the grandparents, one each week. We road tripped as a family and I have amazing memories from that. Now that I live closer we go but honestly it doesn't feel as memorable as when it was a week long event. The down side I see to you moving to be closer to his family is packing up two entire businesses and also leaving your mom with a much longer drive to see you all. I think the best thing to do would be to each, separately and without discussing before hand, come up with a pros and cons list. Then discuss your lists with each other to come to a decision together you can both agree on.\n",
"rejected": "We moved from CA to the NC almost two years ago. We had several reasons to make the move - 1)cost of living, 2)good job opportunities though initially my husband worked remotely, and 3)closer, though not super close to family (one side is now only a 2 hr plane ride away and the other is a day's drive). In short, three solid reasons.\n\nObviously moving for you would have some major disadvantages - you would still have family across the country from you and might not be able to rebuild your businesses. I don't know where you are living now, but the cost of living in certain parts of CA is really high and is something you'll need to take into account.\n"
},
{
"query": "**TLDR My mom is in her mid to late 50s. She has a lot of health issues. My dad is emotionally distant from her. My brother is a crackhead and puts her through hell, and I don't do enough for her. I want to be a better son, how do I do that?**\n\nI am a guy in my mid 20s. My mom is in her mid to late 50s. We are from a poor background.\n\nI love my mom so much, and I want--desperatly--to make her life better. She was a cab driver. In the early 2000s she got into a bad accident, and ended up needing surgery to repair her wrist. The doctors put her on vicoden. In her late 40s/early 50s, she got sick with rheumatoid arthritis, but my dad and I didn't know it at the time. We were very poor and did not have health insurance, which caused mom to avoid going to the doctor. She just suffered with the pain. My dad's union finally came through in early 2010 and momma was able to go to the doctor to find out what was wrong with her. It was too late to avoid a lot of the damage from the arthritis. Her feet and hands were mangled, and even though she was put on humira and opiate painkillers, she still lives in constant pain and struggles mightily to walk or even open up a can of Coke. Additionally, in 2012, her teeth started going bad and the doctor removed all of them and fitted her for dentures and as it turned out, they were too big, so she doesn't wear them (she's just kind of adapted to eating without teeth). \n\nIn recent years, because of the pain from the arthritis, she has become severely addicted to her pain medicine. She has taken money from my bank account (this was when I was still a teen, so she had to be on the account), and just to clarify, this was a one time thing that has never been repeated, she never took any of my money again in any way. She doesn't take them like she's supposed to, etc. But between her and dad (who is also addicted to opiates for also legit reasons but who also abuses them) and I, the bills are always paid and food is always on the table.\n\nMy brother is a big source of anxiety for her. He is a crackhead. He lies and schemes and constantly gets kicked out of wherever he lives. Also, he has a pretty severe form of testicular cancer.\n\nMy dad takes her entire disability check from her. He uses it to pay bills, but still, I know she wishes she had a little more say with her own money. He's also pretty emotionally distant from her. He does lover her as evidenced by how he acted when she got pneumonia last year and when her kidneys started failing this year (her doctors fixed her right up and now her kidneys are fine) (he literally cried himself to sleep every, clutching her pillow, every night), but he does not show his love overtly.\n\nNow to me. I am the person she is closest to. She tells me pretty much everything (including stuff I'd rather not know--parents sex life for example). I don't do nearly enough for her (since I'm still living with the parents, I could do more of the chores which she still does--I have been getting better with this, but I know I could still do more). We do tend to argue a lot. it mostly stems from her taking her pain out on me (you know, yelling at me for minor stuff and sometimes insulting my weight [I'm fat]) and the fact that we're always broke. Also, at one point I was studying to be a priest and when I left, I didn't talk to her about it until everything was finalized, and I know that hurt her deeply that I didn't talk to her about it.\n\nLife is not supposed to be like this for a 57 year old woman. My momma is so frail. I love her so much. I want to be a better son. She was always the strongest person that I knew. Most little boys have their father as their hero, but that was my mom for me. She was vibrant, but for the past 7 or so years, I have seen her deteriorate and it tears my heart out. What can I do to be a better son for my momma?\n\nThese are my thoughts: I want to have a life of my own. Despite the fact that I left seminary, I am now thinking about going back (I have talked to her about this). At this point, I feel like the best thing I could do for my mom is to be a better person and be successful (currently that would mean going back to seminary and becoming a priest). Give her something to be proud of in her disappointing life (not saying I am disappointed in her or ashamed of her, just that I feel that she has to be disappointed in the way her life turned out). That is really all I can think of right now, but I know that I can do more than just that, and that is why I want your help\n\n**TLDR My mom is in her mid to late 50s. She has a lot of health issues. My dad is emotionally distant from her. My brother is a crackhead and puts her through hell, and I don't do enough for her. I want to be a better son, how do I do that?**\nHow do I become a better son for my mother?",
"chosen": "The best thing you can do for her is to follow your heart and go where your life takes you - and share your joy with her every step of the way. Take time to let her know when something interesting happens during your day, or when you hear a funny joke or do something successfully and you're proud of it. Ask her about what matters to her, check in with her frequently about little things.\n",
"rejected": "As a mother, nothing makes me happier than to see my children be happy and successful.\n"
},
{
"query": "Could be a product, food dish, show, film, book, activity, music artist, travel destination, etc.\nWhat’s something that seemed overhyped at first, but was surprising good once you tried it?",
"chosen": "Wawa. \n\nWhen it was first being built, every out of town guest told me how lucky I was that I was getting one. My husband and I were like, “It’s a gas station.” Damn if both of us aren’t there everyday and Friday nights aren’t Wawa bowl night in our house.\n",
"rejected": "ADD medication. Life changing. I had no idea how much I was suffering until I tried vyvanse. Suddenly the fog lifted. Life got 1000x easier. Why didnt I try this sooner? \n\nCooking my own meals instead of take out or TV dinners. A bit of a learning curve, but worth it. Now I like my own looking so much, take-out no longer interests me. And by cooking from scratch or almost scratch, my food bill is a fraction of what it was. \n\nThrifting! Buying all my clothes at thrifts or similar sources. I used to dread buying clothes. It took forever to find items. I'd spend a fortune but rarely loved what I brought home. Now Im so good at thrifting I bring home whole bags of almost new clothing for $5 or $10. If I get home and dont love a few items, so what? If I try to modify something and dont like the results, so what. If something develops a hole, i no longer feel bummed out I spent $50 on something that didn't last. If my body changes size or shape,so what. It's so liberating.\n\nBody positivity. I've sworn off dieting & the self negativity forever. None of the diets worked long term anyway, and the stress of dieting made things worse. I accept my body as it is. My body does wonderful things for me. And now that I've stopped hating its imperfections, I feel so relaxed. I stress eat less. I enjoy movement more. I enjoy sensuality and sexuality more. I feel *good*.\n"
}
] | 8
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0003376007080078125,
"logprob2": -6.25,
"signal": 6.249662399291992
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000013113021850585938,
"logprob2": -7.125,
"signal": 7.124998688697815
}
| 0.875336
| 2
|
3353
|
[
{
"query": "So I'm one of those guys who has always gone to the 'chain' barbers (Supercuts, Great Clips, Sport Clips, etc). I get a good haircut maybe 30% of the time. The other 70% are just okay - never awful, but never good. \n\nI'd love to find a barber I can just go to regularly. Someone who will take time to make me look the best I can, rather than just cutting generically. \n\nSo what kinds of things should I tell my barber? I never really know what to say when they ask \"How do you want it cut?\" Uhh... shorter, and uhh... yeah. How do you know what you want? Do you ask them for their opinions? Do you bring in or ask for a photo of a haircut you'd like?\nHow do you get your hair cut, and what do you ask for?",
"chosen": "I show them a picture of Manuel Neuer and tell them to make me look like him. \n\nFind your doppelganger and steal their haircut.\n",
"rejected": "4 on top, 2 on the sides\n"
},
{
"query": "It's been happening for a couple of years now to me and starting to drive me nuts. \n\nI'm a fairly sociable person. Not too much into touching people (not more than accepted, at least for sure), or inquiring/revealing very personal info.\nMy friendliness gets mistaken for wanting the guy. What might I be doing wrong? How do you decide whether the girl's interested in you or only your friendship?",
"chosen": "Humblebrag?\n\nGuys almost always initiate things socially, romantically or otherwise. Someone doing the opposite is intriguing and I personally tend to pay more attention in a situation like that.\n\nIf you're attractive, I guess... get used to it? No real advice here.\n",
"rejected": "Do I want to date the girl? Then I will try to date the girl. \nOh, she's not interested? \nDo I want to be friends with her? No? Carry on.\n"
},
{
"query": "The title makes this question sound very How Do I Human, but let me clarify.\n\nWhen on a first date do you always hug the person upon meeting them? I'll hug a person if I feel like we connected more (usually online) before meeting, but opt for a hand shake if I don't. However I often get the feeling girls think a handshake is weird, based off their reactions I get. \n\nDo you guys stick with a simple wave or go for the handshake as well when you're not hugging?\nOn a first date, how do you physically greet a woman when meeting?",
"chosen": "I have always done a quick hug. Shaking hands is a general gesture of meeting someone for the first time, but a hug from my point of view indicates that I find the person special. Furthermore, if I am hoping to develop a romantic relationship with this girl, I better be able to break the touch barrier with her in a more intimate way than shaking hands.\n",
"rejected": "I like just saying hello. Maybe add an awkward wave. \n\nI don't mind a quick hug if we've met before a couple times or are familiar with each other.\n\nA handshake seems really formal and serious.\n"
},
{
"query": "I am at a major impasse in my career. I've been unemployed for 8 months now. I have a bachelors with a good GPA, but it pretty much has been worth its weight in paper. I'm a little sour on the idea of having to go back to/pay for more education after the first round was worthless, but just looking at my job prospects right now makes me think that I need to seriously consider it.\n\nTo all of the guys who have attended grad school (whether you graduated, dropped out, or are currently attending), was it worth it? How much do you think it helped your career?\nMen who attended grad school: was it worth it?",
"chosen": "I went back to school for a certification program after graduating. I originally got a biology degree that didn't really prepare me for any field or job. going back was a good decision for me because basically I was going to take some menial government job that just required a degree. Now I work in a science field and enjoy it. \n\nThe process sucked, overall it was worth it though.\n",
"rejected": "Grad school can mean a lot of different things.\n\nWhat kind of grad school are you considering?\n\nI was in a PhD program in the humanities. It was not worth it. There are no jobs. \n\nIt's not quite the same thing if you're getting an MA with the goal of teaching high school or an MBA to go into business or a PhD in Chemistry to work in industry.\n"
},
{
"query": "If being strong made you look like a gust of wind would knock you over, and looking like the cover of mens health made your max bench about 45lbs.\nWould you rather -be- or -look- strong?",
"chosen": "Sigh, another person who thinks working out for hypertrophy is useless and that they're all weak and pathetic because they get the girls and I don't.\n",
"rejected": "I'd much rather be strong. It's much more useful.\n"
},
{
"query": "I was having a conversation with my closest guy friend about a guy I'm interested when he asked me why I liked him. I thought about it for a minute and I said: \"I really like his sense of humor and he's honestly one of the nicest guys I've ever met.\" To which my friend's face got super serious and he replied: \"Don't ever tell a guy he's nice... no guy wants to be told he's a *nice guy*.\" \n\nNow, I trust my friend's judgement, however, it's hard for me to imagine a world where being told you're nice is a negative thing. So I come here asking the question: Do the majority of guys *really* not want to be told they are nice? Or is this just my friend's opinion?\n\n* In less than an hour we have reach an almost unanimous conclusion: Nice is **not** a word women should use when wanting to give a compliment to a guy she is interested in. I find this both interesting and super sad at the same time. In my book, nice guys don't finish last. To me, the word \"nice\" encompasses kind, friendly, polite, all in one convent package. However, if it registers in the male mind as being accompanied with a *but* attached or a one way ticket to the friend zone, I'll have to choose a different aspect of his personality to compliment to avoid confusion.\nI was told guys don't like to be told they're nice, is this true?",
"chosen": "Yeah I'm chiming in late, but it doesn't mean what it's supposed to mean anymore. Substitute \"You're a great guy\" instead, maybe. \"Nice\" is basically translated as \"Wimp\" or \"guy who I will friendzone.\"\n\nHowever, from a girl I'm actually dating, if she said, \"I really like that you're a nice guy/you're so nice to me\" it would be great! \n\nProps for going for a none douche!\n",
"rejected": "\"Nice\" just feels like a lazy empty compliment.\n"
},
{
"query": "I found a great deal on a cute necklace. A tiny leather bound book. It was February 2nd. I put the order in on etsy thinking highly of myself. Would get that sucker. Handwrite some quotes from her favorite movie, about her favorite president. A note from me. Give it to her Saturday night. Everybody is happy right? Well I should have paid attention because the artist I bought from lives *very, very* far from me and the package should arrive a few days too late.\n\nWhat is your emergency? Romantic or otherwise?\nMy Valentines Day gift is stuck in a post office in Lithuania. What's your emergency this week?",
"chosen": "Give her the sheets of paper showing the order, shipping details, and all that. I'm serious. Like, think about it, do girls really care what they get on Valentine's because they can't wait for some new jewelry? No, they want to know you care, and you put in an effort. I'm sure she'll be just as appreciative of a detailed manifest saying \"Hey, here's this really, really nice thing you're gonna get in a couple days\".\n",
"rejected": "I had to replace my car battery and now my stereo says it needs a code.... I don't have a fucking code and commuting with no tunes is doing my fucking box in!\n"
},
{
"query": "Mine isn’t that hard to explain. We all know those bouncers in nightclubs you see in cartoons or comedies or whatever. You know, big, burly, broad-shouldered black guy that looks *mean*. Then they speak and for whatever reason their voice sounds like a dogs squeaky toy and are sometimes stupidly soft spoken, and happens to be a an emotional hugger with a heart of gold? or something along those lines... \n\nYeah, I’m afraid to say I embody exactly this and my voice never caught the drift that I went through puberty. Definitely a hugger not a fighter. My application to be the baddest guy to step onto the football field was apparently rejected and here I am, a big ass guy who likes cats, writing music, hates violence and prefers to talk it out instead of fighting (black Buddha as a friend once told me in high school) . Gotta say though, I’m fine with this.\nDo you happen to fulfill a stereotype or trope in anyway? If you do, what is it?",
"chosen": "The girl everybody underestimates because she likes pink and wearing skirts and heels on a daily basis. Ugh.\n",
"rejected": "I wear a lot of plaide shirts, like indie music, play piano/guitar/uke, like hanging out in cafes, do not drink alcohol/do drugs and wear beanies/hats.\n\nHelp! Am I turning Hipster?\n"
},
{
"query": "I think living in New York City makes having a small dresser almost close to impossible. We get really hot dinners and frigid winters. Therefore, I'm packing for temperatures as hot as 80 to 90 degrees and as cold as negatives and everything in between.\n\nSo that's many, many, t-shirts, jeans, activewear, workwear, casual clothes, comfy clothes, sweaters, hoodies, and jackets, multiple of them.\n\nNot to mention socks and boxers.\n\nSo how large is your wardrobe?\nHow large is your wardrobe?",
"chosen": "I'm currently reworking my wardrobe, also in NYC area. Here are the high points:\n\n* Five suits \n* Five blazers\n* About a dozen sweaters\n* Two or three dozen button-up shirts\n* Six pairs of chinos\n* Four pairs of jeans\n* Eight pairs of sweatpants\n* Nineteen pairs of shoes (three dress pair, two pairs of boots, three pair of athletic/fitness shoes, and the remainder casual sneakers)\n* One large winter coat\n* Two overcoats\n* Two leather jackets\n* Casual athletic jacket\n* Miscellaneous (hats, ties, pocket squares, socks, undershirts, underwear, etc)\n\nI'm currently getting rid of some button-up shirts, suits, and shoes while looking to pick up some casual shorts.\n",
"rejected": "3 jackets, 3 tshirts, 2 jeans, 3 socks, 4 underwear, 1 suit, 1 pair of shoes. \n\nI'm a very simple person who wears the same style of clothes no matter the weather.\n"
},
{
"query": "My wife's sister is a sophomore in college and has been sharing some godawful conversations she's had with guys she goes to school with. Many of them are crudely direct and have no game whatsoever. \n\nMy personal favorite is from a guy she just met, \"So you wanna come over and fuck?\"\n\nChrist man, take her out first.\nWhat are some cringe worthy ways young men today try and flirt with girls?",
"chosen": "Snapchatting a ton of selfies at her.\n",
"rejected": "Catcalling, because some guys grew up thinking this is a age old courting technique that is supposed to work\n"
},
{
"query": "Just got gas on the way home from a FWB, make up a mess, hair as put together as possible without a brush, and had a guy make a snide remark. Pretty sure the average guy doesn't think twice, but what are your thoughts?\nWhat are your thoughts seeing a girl's \"walk of shame\" in the morning?",
"chosen": "So I read all the responses and most comment about their feelings being neutral. One time of year I am super amused with the walk of shame. Morning after Halloween.\n",
"rejected": "Who gives a shit. I just want to get where I'm going.\n"
},
{
"query": "Some more info: I liked her for a couple of months now but she has shown signs of considering me to be just a friend. Offers to wing(wo)man me, and has hooked up with other guys while I was around. Thing is, across all those months she has been flirting with me occasionally and my friends who observed the situation told me that she probably likes me. So now the question appears, do I try and go for her while I'm visiting her or should I go for her friends who she has offered to help me get with?\nGirl who I like but who seems to consider me just a friend invited me to visit her in another country. I'm probably gonna go but I need advice on how to approach the situation; should I go for her or for her friends while I'm there?",
"chosen": "I'd avoid it, and let the girl (whichever girl it is) make the first move, unless you want to take the brutal honesty track. If that's your path, talk it out with them. Straight up ask her, and get it out of the way instead of pussyfooting around. Dispense with the mating dance.\n",
"rejected": "Dude, just have a point-blank conversation with her as to her intentions and desires.\n"
},
{
"query": "So, when I was a senior in HS, I started dating a girl who was a sophomore( I was 17/18 and she was 16) and it worked out pretty well. We continued on from HS into college and know I'm a sophomore and she's a senior. I'm going to turn 20 and was wondering, is this relationship considered common/fine? I always hear about creepy guys in their 20's going after HS girls and I don't want to be lumped into that category.\nWhat are your thoughts on continuing a relationship from HS into college?",
"chosen": "It's totally fine. A girl you have been dating for years, and your age gap is not significant. Don't worry about it.\n",
"rejected": "You're less than 2 years older than her, there is nothing creepy about that, when people talk about people in their 20s going after highschool girls, they're thinking about 22+ year olds going after 16-17 year olds.\n"
},
{
"query": "If you had to start again from scratch, at age 40 what career would be viable to make a good living and possibly retire from ?\n\nEducation background, finished high/secondary School, some college\n\nWork history, 15 + years of mainly manufacturing/ production\nWhat career can a moderately ambitious man in America start at the age of 40?",
"chosen": "Healthcare is good. Dental hygienists make about 40 per hour where I am and only need a certificate. \n\nComputer science and coding is something you could look into. It's pretty easy to get a diploma or some sort of certificate and work in IT or do web design. Plus the job market is insatiable.\n",
"rejected": "Educational background?\n\nExperience?\n\nIts once piece of advice for a lawyer looking to switch fields and another for a NEET emerging blinking into the daylight from his mother's basement.\n"
},
{
"query": "I don't drink alcohol and I don't intend to start. This seems to be somewhat of a social problem. People seem to consider it a bit odd.. for not wanting to. My dad is an alcoholic which is the reason why I don't like it. \n\nI don't have a problem with anyone that likes to drink. I'm just not sure if people would consider me strange or boring for not doing so. I know my family thinks i'm crazy for never drinking.\nWould you date a girl who doesn't drink alcohol?",
"chosen": "Personally, I don't drink, but I don't mind either way if a girl I'm dating drinks or not.\n",
"rejected": "All else being equal, I would prefer to date someone who doesn't drink. I don't, and I really hate being around drunk people, and there is a tendency for college aged individuals who drink to be either drunk or around drunk people more.\n"
}
] | 7
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000013113021850585938,
"logprob2": -6.875,
"signal": 6.874998688697815
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00002849102020263672,
"logprob2": -6.75,
"signal": 6.749971508979797
}
| -0.125027
| 7
|
6774
|
[
{
"query": "Currently a student so I don't have too many expensive things except for this nice camera that I got for my birthday a couple years ago\nWhat's the most luxurious/expensive thing you own?",
"chosen": "Sure, lots of people have expensive cars and houses, but luxury items are more interesting to talk about.\n\n- I have about a thousand dollars worth of mechanical keyboards. My work keyboard alone was about $300 (hhkb pro 2 type-s). To put it into perspective, my hands spend more time on keyboards than my feet do in my shoes. I might as well have some damn comfortable keyboards that makes work easier.\n\n- My favorite jacket cost me $700. I spent an entire week searching for a particular fit and style, and it ended up being in the last store I went in. I put it on, and told myself I would buy it no matter the cost. A couple of years later, I still wear it regularly.\n\n- I spend a decent amount of money on skin and hair products. I buy Clinique for Men moisturizer, exfoliant, chacoal face wash, and eye cream. I buy Paul Mitchell Tea Tree shampoo and conditioner. I use all of that stuff every single day, and my skin is pretty healthy and blemish-free.\n\n- My PC is worth about $1500, and I bought an Asus ROG Swift monitor a while back for like $500.\n\n- My Tempur-pedic mattress was pretty damn expensive as well. Yet I've slept better than I have in years, and I can't put a price on that.\n\nI personally believe that life is short, and anything that I'm using on a regular basis should be the absolute best that I can afford.\n",
"rejected": "A pair of custom made ~$2400 boots.\n"
},
{
"query": "~Additionally for people that don't meet the title requirement, what do you often joke with yourself?\nWhat running joke do you have with your friends/SO",
"chosen": "A while ago a bunch of buddies and I got into a conversation about jerking off. To which one of my friends says he can't jerk off in silence, and usually has to have some kind of noise in the background or else it's too weird for him.\n\n\nSo I replied \"So what, do you just got onto Netflix and toss on a random episode of Friends?\". So now we use \"watching an episode of Friends\" as a euphemism for masturbating.\n",
"rejected": "We thought \"lol\" sounded too juvenile, so somehow we came up with \"cheesburger\" as a less juvenile replacement (go figure). So instead of writing out \"cheeseburger\" all the time, it became \"🍔.\" But then she was like \"what if you want to say 'lmfao'l\" so I said \"🍆🍔\" and so now we always text each other \"🍆🍔\" and everyone else thinks I'm retarded.\n"
},
{
"query": "Just saw Sonny Bill Williams (All Blacks) give his World Cup medal to a kid who somehow made it onto the field after they (unfortunately..) beat the Wallabies.\nWho's your favourite athlete and why?",
"chosen": "Dan Biggar or Alastair Cook. Biggar, because he's hard as nails. Cook, because he's a paragon of mental fortitude.\n",
"rejected": "Carey Price of Montreal Canadiens. His skill level is God-tier, unbelievably good as a goalie. When you watch him play he moves in such a calm and collected way that it appears there's no urgency. It's really something else to see.\n"
},
{
"query": "Apparently i'm weird because I turn off the water to lather my body wash, and then I turn it back on to rinse off. I thought this was normal?\nHow do you guys use your body wash in the shower?",
"chosen": "I use soap.\n",
"rejected": "1.) Put body wash on loofah\n\n2.) Step out of shower water\n\n3.) Apply loofah all over body\n\n4.) Step back in shower water to wash suds off\n"
},
{
"query": "Always had a company paid iPhone. New job, need to get my own phone.\n\nNeeds to be a smartphone, but I know literally nothing else about phones. What do you gentlemen suggest?\nThe Phone Wars....what should i get?",
"chosen": "If you need to ask, and you're already experienced with iOS... I would say go ahead and get another iPhone. In my opinion, both the hardware and software are still at the top in terms of quality, reliability, and ease of use. I'm not an Apple guy by any means (I've always used Windows or Linux, hate OSX), but the way things are I wouldn't even consider getting a different phone at this point (I have the 5S).\n",
"rejected": "Get a flip phone. \n\nI'm about that flip phone life!!!\n"
},
{
"query": "Girl I had a massive crush on kept telling me about how she was house-sitting for a family friend, and that she hated being alone in a big empty house. My response every time was, \"that doesn't sound like much fun at all,\" or \"you should do something about that.\" FFS FORMER SELF.\nLooking back; how did a girl make it obvious to you that she was interested, but you were too oblivious to realize?",
"chosen": "Cute barista that I had a huge crush on. Was getting coffee one friday before work. We casually flirted a bit back and forth, I thought she was just being personable, and she asked \"What time do you get off work? I was thinking about hiking [local trail name].\" HURR DURR. \"Whenever I finish my current project, it's actually taking longer than I thought. Thanks for the coffee and have a fun hike!\" /*leaves, realizes is a fucking moron*\n",
"rejected": "I was working at circuit city at the time.\n\nThis chick comes up to me and asks if I can help her find blah blah DVD.\n\nI wasn't a sales associate so normally I'd try to find her someone who worked in that department to help her, but she was cute so I figured I'd do it myself.\n\nSo I walk over to where the DVDs are, unfamiliar with the area but I stumble upon the DVD she was looking for, 1 single copy of it just sitting out right in the middle.\n\nMe: Hah, that was easy.\n\nHer: Yeah...I kind of put it there as an excuse to come talk to you since I find you incredibly attractive.\n\nI think to myself...damn this girl tricked me into helping her! Buuuut, she paid me a compliment so I guess I'll let it slide.\n\nSo in that state of mind I reply\n\nMe: Oh ya? Well, I _guess_ that's a good enough reason.\n\nAs I walk off back to my area I look over my shoulder and see her standing there stupefied.\n\nA little later it hits me, that she was actually coming onto me.\n\nThen I felt bad. Not so much for myself, but that took some courage from her to approach me like that and I definitely would have gone out with her, but she probably thinks I wasn't interested.\n"
},
{
"query": "I used to work a job where I had to be there at 5am sharp, and now I work where if you're a few minutes late, it's no big deal. I find that I'm not nearly as consistent as I used to be as far as waking up as early as I'd like to.\n\nDoes any of the other men have any pro tips on how to wake up early consistently?\nHow to get back in the habit of waking up early more consistently?",
"chosen": "Make sure you go to bed at the same time every night. \nWake up at 5AM on your days off, too.\n",
"rejected": "I set like 4 different alarms and still turn them all off, go back to sleep, and don't remember doing it.\n"
},
{
"query": "Finally made the decision to see the eye Doc about *cringe* bifocals since I can see for shit up close any more.\nGuys and those ladies of AM what makes you feel old?",
"chosen": "People born in 1995 are about to be drafted into the NFL. Makes me feel old and like a failure.\n",
"rejected": "Barely made it to midnight on New Year's Eve and felt good about it. Looking forward to not making it to midnight this year. Same shit happens every year; the year rolls over. Somebody can wake me up if anything different happens.\n"
},
{
"query": "Mine isn’t that hard to explain. We all know those bouncers in nightclubs you see in cartoons or comedies or whatever. You know, big, burly, broad-shouldered black guy that looks *mean*. Then they speak and for whatever reason their voice sounds like a dogs squeaky toy and are sometimes stupidly soft spoken, and happens to be a an emotional hugger with a heart of gold? or something along those lines... \n\nYeah, I’m afraid to say I embody exactly this and my voice never caught the drift that I went through puberty. Definitely a hugger not a fighter. My application to be the baddest guy to step onto the football field was apparently rejected and here I am, a big ass guy who likes cats, writing music, hates violence and prefers to talk it out instead of fighting (black Buddha as a friend once told me in high school) . Gotta say though, I’m fine with this.\nDo you happen to fulfill a stereotype or trope in anyway? If you do, what is it?",
"chosen": "The girl everybody underestimates because she likes pink and wearing skirts and heels on a daily basis. Ugh.\n",
"rejected": "I wear a lot of plaide shirts, like indie music, play piano/guitar/uke, like hanging out in cafes, do not drink alcohol/do drugs and wear beanies/hats.\n\nHelp! Am I turning Hipster?\n"
},
{
"query": "You know when a girl wants to talk to you? Like for sure she wants to talk. She hangs around you at the coffee shop or on the subway platform? What kinds of really folksy, casual stuff would you say to just get talking? I can't think of anything!\nHow do you casually chat up a woman?",
"chosen": "I usually just say something absurdly retarded/obvious. \n\ne.g. The girl has a British accent \"I love your accent, what's it like living in Australia?\"\n\nOr she has an Australian accent \"Did you know that the southern hemisphere has winter when we have summer?\"\n",
"rejected": "Key ingredient of chatting anyone up is that everything is a joke.\n"
},
{
"query": "Some of my friends reasoning for two holes is if you have a sphere and drill into it to which it has another end, that’s two holes. The people who think it’s one hole (including me) says every hole has two ends but it is still a singular hole. They also cite the donut as an example. It has one hole but two ends\nMen of Reddit, do you think a straw has one or two hole and why?",
"chosen": "A straw has zero holes, it *is* a hole.\n",
"rejected": "Straw engineer here with post doc work in slurpology. The correct answer in none. That is because a straw *is * a hole. As in you can’t add more dark to darkness, you can’t add holes to something that inherently is a hole. \n\n\n*not really a slurpologist*\n"
}
] | 8
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000013113021850585938,
"logprob2": -6.75,
"signal": 6.749998688697815
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00003170967102050781,
"logprob2": -5.25,
"signal": 5.2499682903289795
}
| -1.50003
| 2
|
8924
|
[
{
"query": "One for me is, someone who always has to be doing something, always has something planned. I love the non-obligation of time off, and prefer to not have things so regimented. I don't want to 'not' do anything all the time, but I find that when on dating sites, I don't swipe \"yes\" on those with all \"active\" pictures. Man, sometimes chillin is nice!\nWhat personality type(s)/trait(s) doesn't mesh well with you?",
"chosen": "People who are uncomfortable with silence.\n\nDon't misunderstand: Although I'm a quiet person, I don't insist upon silence. I truly enjoy conversation...so long as it stays interesting. \n\nBut when someone will say *any*thing, just to be saying *some*thing, it speaks to a certain insecurity that puts me off pretty fast.\n",
"rejected": "Negativity. Tell me about what you like, not what you hate.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm not looking for romance or relationship so much as one night stands and repeat encounters.\nWhat is the best pick up line a lady has used?",
"chosen": "\"You would turn me straight...\"\n\n-At a lesbian bar.\n",
"rejected": "You're putting way to much thought into it.\n\nIf a guy finds you attractive and you want a one night stand, you could literally say whatever you want.\n"
},
{
"query": "this question was asked on askwomen so i thought id be interesting to know what men think\nmen with high standards, what are the qualities you look for in a partner that make it hard for you to be with anyone?",
"chosen": "I want a woman who’s not on her phone, not on social media, positive attitude, likes to go out and do stuff instead of watching TV and being on the phone.\n",
"rejected": "Physically, my only standard is that the woman stays in shape and takes care of her health. Not even necessarily lean, just don't be sedentary or a heavy user of drugs, tobacco or alcohol. Make the effort.\n\nI don't want kids.\n\nBe open to new experiences. I like going to museums, learning new things, trying new foods etc. I find people who don't share this passion to be a bit boring. But also, don't be superstitious.\n\nBaggage is fine. Personality differences are fine. I don't tolerate abuse though.\n\nReasonable standards I'd say. That being said I just excluded 95% of women my age.\n"
},
{
"query": "Couldn't phrase it without quotation marks.\n\nBasically, what's an issue that is attributed to gender, but is in reality related to the people rather than the gender?\n\nRough Example: \"Men are sexist and don't respect women\" is really just about assholes rather than men in general.\nWhat's a \"gender issue\" that's really just a people issue?",
"chosen": "Abortion is often framed as a \"women's issue\" even to the point that I frequently hear people claim men shouldn't be allowed to have a say on the subject; but if you believe as I do that an unborn child is a person, then it is absolutely a \"people issue\".\n",
"rejected": "\"Mansplaining\" is just something all arrogant people do. I don't think it's attributed to just men.\n"
},
{
"query": "What rushes through your mind when you look each other in the eye and she smiles, what's it like to hug her knowing that your equally attracted to each other.\n\nI'm sad.\nHow does it feel to have a SO that loves you?",
"chosen": "It's nice. They make me a much better person.\n\nYou feeling ok, OP? Want to talk about it?\n",
"rejected": "Why are you sad? What's up man? You ok?\n"
},
{
"query": "My boyfriend has had a lump in one of his testicles for a while now. He said it was small to begin with and he was just waiting for it to go away but it's actually gotten much bigger. He ONLY told me about it this morning and is now freaking out and doesn't know what to do (we have been fighting a lot and it came out after I asked him what else he had been keeping from me). I told him to make an appointment with a urologist (I am setting him up with the doctor). Despite how pissed I am at him currently I can't ignore something like this and want to help him and calm his nerves. Anyone have experience with this or had a cancer scare? Did it end up being nothing or anything serious?\nAny of you have any experience with testicular cancer?",
"chosen": "I had the ole super ball when I was fifteen. If you want to the comfort the fella, just reassure him, it sure as hell isn't the worst cancer in the world to have. Testicular Cancer is really common and is almost always isolated just to the one teste, having to go through chemo isn't very likely. \n\nA keyword people use when talking about Testicular is the word \"Lucky.\" They think they're lucky because the repercussions of it aren't the worst thing cancer could cause. It really is a \"lucky\" cancer to have, granted that cancer is a dirty, piece of shit disease that deserves to have a nail shoved up it's urethra, it's still a chronic disease, 1/3 or us are gonna \"catch\" a cancer at some point. \n\nThe hardest part of it is losing the ball that's got it. There's an initial irkiness to it. Fortunately, one ball can do the same job as two, and apparently this gent's girlfriend is fond enough of his genitals to talk about them with strangers online, so she'll probably still like them even with the curtailing of the situation. And eventually, you'll notice that the symmetry down there kicks ass; me and my Lefty One-Hang have been sportin' for years. \n\nPlus, balls are gross, who wouldn't even want two?\n\nSincerely, just comfort him, it's a shitty ride, it's way better to have someone who gives a shit beside you during it.\n",
"rejected": "I've had multiple \"scares\" but it was never anything this severe. I've had a few lumps form on my skin that I've had checked out and they were both benign. I have another growth forming on my back, that I might have to get checked out just to be safe. My mother's found lumps in her breast that freaked me out a lot, but her mammogram came back negative. I've been lucky so far, I hope I can pass some on to you and your bf.\n"
},
{
"query": "I mainly just want to know what has been the most successful for people here because generally I have no problem approaching women or even occasionally getting a phone number but it really never goes anywhere. Most of the time I feel like human sexuality is communicated in a language that I have no way to decode or use.\nWhat's the best way to let a woman know you're interested up front?",
"chosen": "Step 1: Cut a hole in the box.\n",
"rejected": "present your hindquarters in a mating display.\n"
},
{
"query": "I've been looking, attempting to network with strangers and coworkers alike to see about gaining some tread at a better company. I'm 23 years old, and generally I'm not qualified for *anything* that comes up on my job searches. Maybe this isn't an uncommon problem whatsoever, but I've finally decided to turn to you all for some input- because I sure as sugar need it. \n\nAs of right now I'm subscribed to Snagajob and Indeed to email me about anything entry level within 50 miles, I look at Indeed every day/every other day minimum. Its generally just...depressing, everything requires lengths of experience, education, or skills I just haven't accrued for myself. I'd love to go get a few certifications, attempt to open the job market for myself a bit more, but I'm lost- I don't know what'd be most worth the time or money. What would be valuable to me as a person and potential employee.\n\nI know, at the bare minimum, I'm a guy that can learn things. Its not foreign to me to enjoy picking up new techniques or skills. I love to cook, I held a job as a line cook at a restaurant nearby last year and really enjoyed it- albeit the short shifts and 6-7 day weeks didn't add up to be worth the time spent for the pay. I found a better job, objectively, with 8 hour shifts and a more consistent, less intensive schedule, but considering how boring and empty it is (Fuel station attendant, one of the small ones with a grocery store) I just know I could be doing better things with my time and energy. However, its a paying job- it pays bills, gets me food, so I do it. \n\nI can operate a computer with ease, figure things out regarding tech and electronics without trouble. I type quickly, I've done some data entry/survey type stuff before through Amazon's Mechanical Turk. I've landscaped, did in home remodeling (Tile, drywall, paint, cabinetry, etc), delivered cabinetry and new home furnishings of the sort (Countertops, islands, etc) and as much as I enjoy the outdoors and labor-esque jobs I can't do it anymore with how weak my wrists/hands are due to carpal/ulnar tunnel, and my back being a mess. Yep, 23 years of age and my back feels like its falling apart and in constant pain. So I am hindered physically, but still need to find a good job. Get my back taken care of, as I don't have healthcare insurance right now, and hopefully move on to bigger and better things. Its basically me and my roommate/best friend against the world, as unfortunately my family situation is subpar and living with the parents/pursuing an education has never been a viable avenue. :/\n\nAnyone else been there, or something similar? I could really do with the wisdom, and I'd appreciate any knowledge you all can share. As an aside...as a periodic lurker of this sub, I always appreciate the insight that gets passed around here- and on this topic I thought it'd make a good one for discussion and advice alike.\nMen of reddit, have you ever been under qualified for basically every hiring job out there? I'm in that rut right now, can't seem to find any decent starting position. What'd you do? What would you suggest I do?",
"chosen": "This might go against the grain and i may be downvoted but lie or embellish until you make it would be the easiest way to get your foot in the door.\n",
"rejected": "I've been on both sides of the interviewing table and I can tell you that most job postings are bullshit and full of \"in a perfect scenario we would love this skillet\". \n\nJust apply anyway - worst case scenario you don't get anything back. Best case you get an interview. \n\nIf you are self motivated and get that point across, you will do better than you think.\n"
},
{
"query": "I have a buddy, who is an absolute stud, that said he \"sometimes likes to go home with average or ugly chicks\" just so he \"can be the hottest guy they've ever slept with.\" I won't lie I thought it was pretty funny at the time, and I still chuckle when I think about it because of how ridiculous yet probably true it was.\nWhat's the most douche bag thing you or someone you know has ever said about dating?",
"chosen": "\"I ate her ass after our gym sesh\"\n\nor fucking one girl so he could get a threesome with her blonde twin sister friends\n",
"rejected": "I was working retail, and some slick-back, dyed-blonde douchebag (who spoke with a terrible Australian accent because he was stationed there for 2 years?) casually mentioned at the break table that he wouldn't date anyone who weighed more than 125.\n\nNo words...they should have sent...a stand up comedian...\n"
},
{
"query": "My girlfriend and I are moving to the city because I got a new job. This is my dilemma right now and honestly I'm starting to have second thoughts of spending 2 hours of my life every day in traffic, but I've already basically agreed to share a nice house with a couple(that I've been friends with for years) an hour away from work. My girlfriend and I will get the downstairs, which comes with two bedrooms, big storage room, big living room and bathroom, and a big yard too.\n\nFor the same price we could get a small apartment close to work and I'm starting to think that's what I'd rather have. But I've also never lived in the city so I may be overlooking some issues that come with city living.\n\nAny of you guys lived in both of these housing situations? Which is preferable?\nWhat do you think is better? Living in a nice house with a 1 hour work commute? Or living in a small apartment with a 10 minute commute?",
"chosen": "Shorter commute \n\nTime is invaluable\n",
"rejected": "I only want my house/apt to be as big as it needs to be. More living space = more cleaning and more maintenance, so I'd rather avoid that if I can. I basically just want a decently sized bedroom, living room that can handle 3 or 4 guests, and a kitchen. So I'd probably go with the apartment.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm 23, as is my girlfriend. We both work in the service industry, and go to different nearby colleges. I have a history with being with a lot of women, but I stopped contact with most if not all of them, and the ones I do talk to are strictly plutonic conversations. I can't talk to, or see, any woman she isn't already friends with without her being jealous and angry. Most recently she yelled at me for asking about a long term friend wanting to visit from out of town. Her and I have never been anything but strict friends.\n\nHow do I convince her I'm 100% faithful and only view these people as friends and not women?\nMy girlfriend doesn't trust me to have female friends, what do I do?",
"chosen": "There are two possibilities. The first is that she's the problem, the second is that you are. If she's the problem you need to let her know that you aren't cool being told who you can and can't hang out with and that you aren't interested in a relationship without that baseline level of trust between partners. The other possibility is that you are doing something to make her think you aren't faithful. If this is the problem you should ask your gf what you are doing to make her feel like you aren't truly committed to the relationship and what you can do to change those perceptions.\n",
"rejected": "Get a new girlfriend. You're too old for this shit.\n"
},
{
"query": "Men are usually portrayed as the swines, the slobs, the disorganized... I know women are capable of being one, sometimes even worse!\n\nNasty/Dirty doesn't necessarily mean, \"She had diarrhea in the sink and feeds it to our cat!\" (though if y'all have ***true*** stories on that, feel free to share), but it can be stuff like, \"she bites her toenails and leaves it all over the house.\"\nMen, what is the nastiest/dirtiest thing your SO does?",
"chosen": "Has sex with me.\n",
"rejected": "If she sees a pimple on my ass, she pops it, and expects me to look at what she squeezed out.\n"
},
{
"query": "By realistically I mean not someone like Nikola Tesla who would be 156 this year but someone who could believably still be around.\nWhich famous person do you wish were still alive? (realistically)",
"chosen": "Mac Miller for sure. He’s better than all the Lils or the Bust Down guy. I love his last album and I’m not even his fan, he made good music.\n",
"rejected": "Biggie. Don't know how he would have handled the late 90s and beyond, but it's worth trying the timeline.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm male and 19, and I've noticed that some younger girls I know through the child care program at my church (3rd-5th grade) have begun following me around while I work, and occasionally talking to me while blushing and trying not to giggle. They also spend a lot of time talking to my girlfriend, who also goes to our church but volunteers in a different child care room. What do I do? What have other guys done?\nDo younger girls ever have innocent crushes on you? How do you handle it?",
"chosen": "* Keep being you, its ok if the kids like you.\n\n* When with one of them, never leave the line of sight of another responsible adult. Things get unbelievably dangerous when you are alone with a child *particularly* when you are in a position of authority.\n\n* No physical contact. Yes, that five year old girl wants to give you a hug. Its totally innocent and heart-meltingly adorable, but don't do it. I know it sucks.\n\n* pray for the kids, be the best role model possible in terms of your relationships with others :) \n\n-fellow youth minister\n",
"rejected": "Yeah, my tutoring students. All were high school aged, between 14-18. They would try to take our sessions off track by talking about personal stuff. I was happy to talk about college etc, but only in an academic sense, ie what to expect from classes etc. I never talked about drinking, partying or anything not applicable to our professional relationship. I just made sure I did all my tutoring at their homes ONLY if a parent was present, or in a public space like a library or coffeeshop. That was part of my conditions for tutoring, and it definitely put the parents minds at ease that I took it that seriously. \n\nI never accepted Facebook requests if they asked during our time working together, though I have after the fact, but only after they were 18 and in college. I do like keeping track of my ex-students, they are friends, seeing them grow as people in college is pretty cool. I was 22 when I started and did it for 2 years, so I think they related with me a lot more than if I had been a really old tutor. I'm really proud of them, most have gotten into top schools, and I am happy to have helped them achieve their goals.\n"
},
{
"query": "Assuming you work 9-5, and the wife stays home with the kids. \n\nWhat’s it like in your household?\n\nDo you help your wife out after you come home from work? Or on weekends? If so, what do you do?\nWhat’s a fair division of household labor in your opinion?",
"chosen": "Way too many variables.\n\nWhat age kids, how many? What job does he do? What does the burden of chores look like in your household? What level of cleanliness are you wanting?\n\nI think the labor should be divided in a way that you are both equally exhausted. Or maybe a better way to say it is that I think both should be able to have about the same amount of free time.\n\nI personally would never be with a woman who wanted to be a SAHM. I don't think I could ever find a way to feel that everything was equally distributed.\n\nIn my (35m) house we both work. I do all the cooking all meals/making lunches, vacuuming, dishes, all automotive maintenance, all outdoor work, house maintenance, and probably 60% of the childcare needs. I also organize all the kids extracurricular activities (gymnastics, outdoor club) and take them.\n\nMy wife and I sat down and talked about this a few weeks ago. I probably average twice the work she does everyday at home. But she is an elementary school teacher and that is an exhausting job. She gets \"kidded\" out, hyperly exhausted, and she has anxiety.\n\nNow my job is an environmental biochemist, I make a lot more than her but my job is easy and practically stress-free.\n\nYou do what works and everyone is happy with, not what is fair.\n",
"rejected": "If I’m working 9-5 and my wife isn’t working, then I’d expect her to do most of the housework. \n\nI’d probably do my own laundry, dishes, really anything that I make a mess of myself, and take care of things outdoors.\n"
},
{
"query": "In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.\n\nI know it’s just a stereotype that men constantly want sex and women always turn it down. However, am I doing something wrong?\n\nI’m fine with a 2-3 times a week. We have needs.\nMen, how often do you want to have sex?",
"chosen": "maybe 1 once a month if they want to\n",
"rejected": "*In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.*\n\n*However, am I doing something wrong?*\n\nAre you initiating the sex, or are you just waiting for him to take the lead and when he doesn't you assume he doesn't want to have sex? It's quite possible he did want more sex but thought you didn't, so he didn't bother trying.\n\nLikewise, guys will sometimes avoid it if they're stressed, not feeling great, etc. Not necessarily because they don't want it, but because they're worried they won't be able to perform and it'll be very embarrassing.\n"
}
] | 2
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00008535385131835938,
"logprob2": -5,
"signal": 4.999914646148682
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000013113021850585938,
"logprob2": -6.25,
"signal": 6.249998688697815
}
| 1.250084
| 13
|
4969
|
[
{
"query": "Just moved out for the first time, and I'm struggling to find ways to decorate the place...especially the living room.\n\nI was going to put posters/tapestries on the walls, but that seems kind of too college.\n\nAny stores/ideas that can make my living room look more \"homey\" that aren't super expensive?\nHow can a 20 something decorate his apartment to make it not look like a college apartment?",
"chosen": "Framed art is good. I bought a couple pieces at an auction at a home goods store that was closing. There are a couple street art festivals here that I go to as well. I bought a circular stone mosaic for my fireplace mantle. Estate sales have art too.\n",
"rejected": "Get a girlfriend and you'll just come home one day to a well decorated place\n"
},
{
"query": "When my wife and I met 7 years ago, she was very adamant about eating healthy, exercising, and overall taking care of herself. Over the last year, she has kind of let herself go. \n\nRather than go for a walk, run or do an exercise class, she just comes home and reads or watches TV. I’ve asked her to join me at the gym or to go for a walk with our dog and 95% of the time she says no. \n\nEverything came to a head the other day when she went in for her yearly wellness check and the doctor mentioned it to her and suggested more exercise for her higher BP and weight. She came home pissed off, and when I was honest, it pissed her off even more. \n\nI love her dearly, but I find myself noticing the rather drastic changes in her and I want to help/encourage her to make better health decisions.\nHow do I convince/help my wife get healthy again?",
"chosen": "weight is a hard topic. the people going through it and the people who love them never have an easy time with this. trust me, i've been there myself.\n\nmy wife has been on the gain/lose carousel since about 2006, and even these days if i get a little too happy for her or ask too many questions, she'll say \"why are you so interested in my weight?\".\n\nweight and appearance are very touchy subjects. it's tied up with self-esteem, etc.\n\ni've found that there's very little we can do. we have virtually no control over it.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nit's sort of like addiction. no matter how much we love people, we can't really make them do anything. either they'll go to rehab or they won't; either they'll take the steps to get their weight and health under control or they won't.\n\nwe can only encourage and support people so much. at the end of the day, we have to go along with what they decide to do, regardless of the final outcome.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nmy dad was fond of saying: \"when you love someone, you're always in some kind of trouble.\"\n\nso when we love people who are having these types of issues, we have just two choices: love them a whole lot less and leave them, or love them a whole lot more, come what may.\n\ni wish i could be more helpful, but over my life of being married for 20+ years and being a professional therapist for most of that time, including doing addiction and marriage counseling, this is the only truth that still resonates with me unchanged from then until now.\n\n&#x200B;\n\ntry to remember that when we take vows, we take them \"for better or worse\". marriage is about commitment--not just about being a \"summer soldier\". anyone can be committed and dedicated when life is easy....but when things get hard, that's when our commitment is really tested. \n\nwhen we love people, we don't just cut and run when things get hard. not when we really love each other.\n\ni think a lot of people these days have forgotten that, hence the high divorce rate.\n",
"rejected": "If a doctor can’t convince her by telling her she is physically dying due to her weight then what makes you think you can convince her?\n"
},
{
"query": "I've just asked the women this on askwomen and I'd like a male perspective. So which tv character would you have sex with? And why do they ring your bell?. so to speak.\n\nPs thanks for reading and possibly answering.\nWhich tv character would you have sex with and why?",
"chosen": "She's not on tv anymore but Ariana Grande. Now Sarah Hyland.\n",
"rejected": "Bernadette from the Big Bang theory. \nBrilliant. Ambitious. A little shy, but crazy enough to still be lots of fun. \nFreaking gorgeous. Solid career. Body like woa. Smarter than most. \nI want one.\n"
},
{
"query": "So I'm planning to propose to my girlfriend. I have the ring picked out, it's being made, it's paid for. I've told my best friend, and my father about it, keeping it as quiet as possible. I would like to ask her father for his blessing, but boy-o does it have me nervous. \n\nWe are both 22. I'm just about to graduate college and commission as an officer and go into the military. She graduates in May. We are not in a hurry to actually get married, and have talked about having a long engagement of at least a year. We have been together for about a year and a half so far. No question about it, she's the one. \n\nThings with her father are difficult. He had an affair and her parents split up while she was about 17. He then married the new woman pretty soon after. The new woman has kids, and her dad is very into his new family. My girlfriend feels obviously some anger towards what her dad has done, but also doesn't like his new family. She wants their old family back, not his new one. While she and her father aren't on horrible terms, it is difficult and they may go months without talking. \n\nSo I'm kind of at a crossroads. Do I ask the father out of tradition? Even though his track record isn't great and their relationship isn't great either? I've heard it's acceptable to ask the mother. Finally, her family is from the west coast, and we are in school together on the east coast. So doing it in person wouldn't work. We are going to a wedding in a few weeks on her mom's side, and her mom will be there (not her dad.) I am planning to propose 2 weeks after the wedding. If I ask her mother, I could do it in person at the wedding, but it will be about 2 weeks before the proposal. If I ask her dad, I would have to do it over the phone. \n\nThoughts?\n\nOh, and they aren't a religious family, for what it's worth.\nMarried men, did you ask for father in law for his blessing? Also, I could use some advice.",
"chosen": "I don't think asking either parent for 'permission' to marry an adult who is capable of making their own life-choices has any place in modern culture.\n",
"rejected": "You're 22. You're 22. You're 22. You're 22. You're 22.\n"
},
{
"query": "Personally, I have a grow light arriving in the mail today. So I am excited to start giving my succulents some sunshine in this bleak winter. How about you?\nMen, what are you excited for today?",
"chosen": "The gym.\n\nIt's a place I go to let go.\n",
"rejected": "School ends soon. Get to go home with my gf and toke heavy, then pipe her.\n"
},
{
"query": "Trying to avoid carbs, so I can't just peel it and throw it on some toast, so it's gotta be something else. Can anybody help a brother out please?\nI want to eat avocados, but not on toast/bread. Can anybody point me to some quick recipes for this snack?",
"chosen": "Just make guacamole and either eat it straight or use something like carrot sticks to eat it (or you can even use the guac as a topping for salads and meats).\n",
"rejected": "Go to town on that avocado meat with a spoon. Salt and pepper is all you need.\n"
}
] | 2
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000013113021850585938,
"logprob2": -5.125,
"signal": 5.124998688697815
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0001239776611328125,
"logprob2": -5.25,
"signal": 5.249876022338867
}
| 0.124877
| 3
|
6416
|
[
{
"query": "Yesterday, I applied for a job at the gym I go to. Even though I have my own car, my mom had to use it for the day so she decided to drop me off and told me she would pick me up in an hour (thinking the interview would last that long). The interview itself only lasted about 15 minutes, so I was left with 45 minutes of free-time and no gym clothes on me to even work out.\n\nI began walking around the shopping center nearby and walked passed a new sandwich/deli place. When I passed by, the owner of the place, who seems to be near my age, smiled at me. I decided to go in since there was nowhere else to go and at least I could get a smoothie and hang out for a little bit. Not only did I spend a couple of seconds trying to open the wrong door, but I panicked and got a drink I don't even like, dropping another one in the process. The owner was making small talk about my day and was really nice and cute. There was also no one else there besides him and the workers in the back.\n\nAfter I bought it, for some unknown reason, I walked back outside, knowing I still had a half hour to kill. After a minute or so, I walked back in and told him that my ride still wasn't here so he told me to hang out there.\n\nWe spoke while I waited about school, commuting, the job I had just applied for, and a few other things. I also asked if they were hiring since they're a new place, but he said they weren't at the moment but should be soon. It seemed like we were both flirting with each other but also both super awkward. Since it is a new place my go to pick up line again for some unknown reason was \"I'll be sure to give you a good review on Yelp!\" So my mom pulled up and I told him my ride was here before we exchanged names.\n\nI really thought he was cute and nice so today I went back there to buy a water bottle before I went to the gym. His co-worker nodded in my direction when I walked in and he came right out to help me. He remembered me from yesterday and asked if I got the job and remembered a lot of what we spoke about yesterday. He thanked me for my review on Yelp and I just awkwardly said, \"No problem!\" So in my nervousness, I handed in my water bottle instead of the money and then after that whole exchange, I said, \"Oh yea and I figured I give you this in case you decide you're hiring or whatever\" and handed him a post-it with my name, number, and a smiley face on it. \n\nHe said thanks and that he appreciates it and I walked out, AGAIN FUMBLING WITH THE WRONG DOOR. I also realized when I walked out that my pants were on inside out. \n\nDid giving him my number make me seem desperate? Or did saying in case you ever decide you're hiring make it less obvious that I really just wanted him to call me for a date?\nDid this make me (21F) seem desperate?",
"chosen": "Gotta love the way women tell stories, lol.\n",
"rejected": "It's cute. Something I would do ... I'm just an awkward confusing mess. He probably doesn't know what to do with your number. Wait a week and go back again maybe ... but if your anything like me you will be even more confusing.\n"
},
{
"query": "This is adapted from Chuck Klosterman's Hypertheticals: \n\n\"You have won a prize. The prize has two options, and you can choose either (but not both). The first option is a year in Europe with a monthly stipend of $2,000. The second option is ten minutes on the moon. Which option do you select?\"\n\nI'm curious how answers split between men and women. I posted to /r/askwomen too.\nMen of Reddit: One year in Europe with a $2,000/month stipend or 10 minutes on the moon?",
"chosen": "Have you seen the women on The Moon? Fuck The Moon.\n\nHave you seen the women of Europe?\n\nCase closed.\n",
"rejected": "Moon. Europe ain't going anywhere.\n"
},
{
"query": "Me: I finished a presentation and immediately went to the nearest gelato shop to load up on instant gratification.\n\nSo, I'm walking up the street, and there's this 5 year old walking with two...guardians. Maybe Ma and Grandma?\n\nHe spots me, and immediately goes, \"CAN I HAVE ICE CREAM!?!?!?!?!?!?\"\n\nHis people look at me, I look at them, and I just go \"Sorry for being a bad influence!\"\n\nThen we all cackled. Then I shoveled more gelato down my gullet.\nWhat's the most hilarious interaction you've had in public recently?",
"chosen": "I took my son's to the bathroom and they all wanted to use their own urinals. There were only three available so my son turns to this man and tells him to pee faster because other people needed a turn.\n",
"rejected": "I run and often I run wearing a kilt. I get an occasional sideways glance but most people either don't notice or pretend not to. Kids notice and say things like \"why is he wearing a dress?\" And the parents hush them and get embarassed.\n\nThe other day asked \"are you a superhero?\" I just put my finger to my mouth like \"sssh don't tell anyone.\" He started excitedly telling his parents \"he IS a super hero.\" \n\nNo idea who he thought I was, he was maybr four or five and may simply have added up big guy and weird outfit (running tights and kilt) and got superhero\n\nIf anyone asks of you're a god or a kid asks if you're a superhero you say yes\n"
},
{
"query": "Can you guys share the channels you watch;\n\n1.style\n\n2.general/life advice\n\n3.dating\nWhat are the most useful youtube channels for men?",
"chosen": "Casually Explained specifically their video “Is She Into You?”\n",
"rejected": "BazBattles. How can anyone live without studying the details of 500 year old battles in Japan? Critical information for when you find yourself needing ancient mixed unit tactics.\n"
},
{
"query": "I find East Asian guys the cutest and most handsome men in the world, but I don't know where I can find or date them. All dating websites are full of South Asian or European guys. Really frustrating. Am myself white European, living in London. What website or place would you suggest me to go to?\nWhere can I date East Asian men?",
"chosen": "Come to the Bay Area. My friends and I have a hard time finding dates heh.\n",
"rejected": "Have you tried using dating apps like grindr? I'm not gay myself but I bet you could swipe away everyone but the Asian dudes and go from there. \n\nBesides that... you could always move to East Asia. I don't know about Japan and Korea but when I was in Beijing I knew a gay dude or two, they're just a tad more conservative when it comes to dress and showing off. Although I haven't gone myself you could go to one of several gay bars in Sanlitun and hit it off with a local guy there or simply use grindr in Beijing. I knew a Russian gay guy who used that and there were 100s of Chinese dudes that wanted to try it with a Russian.\n"
},
{
"query": "In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.\n\nI know it’s just a stereotype that men constantly want sex and women always turn it down. However, am I doing something wrong?\n\nI’m fine with a 2-3 times a week. We have needs.\nMen, how often do you want to have sex?",
"chosen": "maybe 1 once a month if they want to\n",
"rejected": "*In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.*\n\n*However, am I doing something wrong?*\n\nAre you initiating the sex, or are you just waiting for him to take the lead and when he doesn't you assume he doesn't want to have sex? It's quite possible he did want more sex but thought you didn't, so he didn't bother trying.\n\nLikewise, guys will sometimes avoid it if they're stressed, not feeling great, etc. Not necessarily because they don't want it, but because they're worried they won't be able to perform and it'll be very embarrassing.\n"
},
{
"query": "Inspired by that Ryan Reynolds thread.\n\nWhether it be because of their looks, how they act, or their personality, what celebrity do you not understand the popularity of?\nWhat (heavily liked) celebrity just doesn't do it for you?",
"chosen": "Harry Styles.\n",
"rejected": "The titty girl from the Robin Thicke video. She's dead in the face, and not attractive.\n"
},
{
"query": "I was recently dating a chick, but we stopped dating cause I found out she was planning on hooking up with someone else (we'd agree not to see anyone else). It was only after I lost the feelings for her/we broke up that I realised that I should've seen that coming long before it happened.\n\nWhat are some red flags you didn't realise until after you were done?\nLove makes you blind. Can you list some 'red flags' about an ex, that you only realised after you broke up?",
"chosen": "The fact that the suicidal ex who threatens to kill himself if she doesn't break up with my is still her \"best friend\". I mean, it was a red flag straight away, but I put up with it for some reason.\n",
"rejected": "Ex of 11 years left me for a dude she worked with. She used to come home from work literally every night bitching about how much she hated him for an hour or two. \n\nHindsight is a motherfucker\n"
},
{
"query": "I don't know if it's just the area where I live, but I would swear people have gotten meaner over the last couple of years. Being polite seems to turn people off now while being snarky is in. People seem to like to tear each other down now for fun. Maybe I'm talking out of my ass here, but what do you guys think?\nIn what ways have you noticed society getting meaner?",
"chosen": "People are the same as always IRL— happy and cheerful. But I’m also very friendly in RL so that probably makes them reciprocate. Only online or in traffic are people assholes IME\n",
"rejected": "People are getting angrier and passing it off as honesty. It really pisses me off, honesty should be constructive and beneficial to people. It's not an excuse to just be outright horrible to people.\n"
},
{
"query": "After reading the misandry thread yesterday I realised that my opinion of men is also slightly skewed. Without going into too many nasty details I've never really had a positive, male role-model in my life.\n\nMy father was an alcoholic. My grand-father was my favourite person in the world until he molested me at age 8. My mother remarried when I was 13 and my step-father was a difficult person for me to warm to. He then developed a brain tumour which caused a lot of personality issues including a lot of hatred and, occasionally, violent outbursts directed towards me. My step-brother drinks too much and has cheated on every girlfriend he's ever had. \n\nI don't hate men at all but I do, often, feel uncomfortable around them. I am fine around men who have girlfriends/wives or are gay. With men I am seeing I tend to become quite flirtatious and sex becomes a conversation topic pretty early on without me even meaning it to. I'm starting to think that subconsciously I feel that all I have to offer straight men is sex. More specifically, I feel that the only reason straight men are interested in me is because of the lure of sex. \n\nI have become disillusioned by shitty men and I know that there are great guys here. So let's have some self-indulgence and tell me what makes you fantastic!\nWhat aspects of your personality are you most proud of?",
"chosen": "I think I do a good job of understanding where other people are coming from and empathizing with them.\n",
"rejected": "I will make a serious effort to objectively evaluate and understand positions in contrast to my own, and can help others do the same. I find this quality to be rare.\n\nI will also hesitate to blame others before accepting some responsibility myself.\n"
},
{
"query": "Do you straight up ask? Do you pay? I recently dated a handful of girls that expected me to pay and wouldn't even offer. Sometimes I ended paying for her friends too, especially if they were girls. Not because I'm showing off, but mainly because I'm kind of expected to. I've become a bit bitter and as a result don't want to date girls who don't have jobs. Is this fair? How do you deal with situations? \n\nI'm a frugal spender on myself but I have a loose hand when it comes to close friends. It always irks me if I spend on someone I don't consider close enough.\nHow do you deal with paying on a date or in a relationship?",
"chosen": "It's never happened to me that a girl expected me to pay. Is this really still common in the US? I've been with two American girls and they wouldn't let me pay more than my share.\n",
"rejected": "In a relationship?\n\nCasual-We pay for ourselves, may trade rounds. \nBoyfriend/girlfriend- we may help each other out in rough spots, but I keep it equal.\nMarriage- never done it, don't understand it, can't help you.\n"
},
{
"query": "people who are into that hobby, what advice would you have for somebody in that position?\nwhat is a hobby you want to get into, and what's stopping you?",
"chosen": "I'd like to get into creative work (music, art, writing). Problem: I have zero plotting skill, zero visualisation skill, and Dota eats all my time (or rather I feed it).\n",
"rejected": "Drawing.\n\nWhat's stopping me? Crippling realization that I will never be able to dedicate nearly enough time to achieve a level of mastery already achieved by so many talented people out there, which straight up kills my competitive spirit stone cold dead.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm having \"one of those nights\". It's the first true day of Spring here. 15 degrees at 11pm, listening to the sound of the city outside and some sweet Nujabes tunes. I'm just feeling emotions more clearly and understanding them easier. It's an odd feeling that I have a hard time describing, but \"sober thoughtfulness\" is pretty accurate. I just feel super chill and I usually learn something about myself.\n\nRight now I've been thinking about my relationship a lot. I'm having lots of doubts, but also lots of hope. My gf is awseome, but lately I've been craving something more and I've been less and less excited to be around her. I'm hopeful for an upswing though as summer approachs. She has been very depressed this term (she is still in school, I am working). It's been putting a lot of strain on the relationship.\n\nAnyways, what are those nights like for you guys? What are you pondering tonight?\nDo you ever have \"one of those nights\"? What is it like for you? What are you pondering right now, fellow melancholy askmen?",
"chosen": "I'm having one of those nights tonight. All I can think about is a girl in my class that I've only spoken to twice but who I'd love to get coffee with. I can only speak to her about once a week and school ends in 3 weeks so I'm terrified I won't find my chance before it's too late.\n",
"rejected": "I had one of those rare moments of personal introspection and clarity when I was pondering the direction of my MA thesis a few weeks ago. I was sitting, looking at a mountain of books I had to read on a subject I really wasn't that into and thought \"why the fuck am I doing this to myself?\" It was a moment later as I was reading about another subject for my own amusement that I really wanted to know more about that subject, rather than the original one. Now I'm glad I switched even though I've had to play catch up for the last few weeks. I have a much clearer picture of what I want the project to be and accomplish within the scholarship. I only wish I had those same moments with women. It would make my life a hell of a lot easier...\n"
}
] | 5
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000013113021850585938,
"logprob2": -5,
"signal": 4.999998688697815
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000015139579772949219,
"logprob2": -7.875,
"signal": 7.874984860420227
}
| 2.874986
| 7
|
7802
|
[
{
"query": "How do you feel about your daughters, whether children or teenagers, wearing them in public and to school? What is your opinion on the trend itself among young girls?\nFathers, how do you feel about your daughters wearing yoga pants or leggings?",
"chosen": "My daughter is only 3 right now. Hopefully when she gets older shell be able to wear yoga pants and STILL be able to say no to people she doesnt want to sleep with. Some of you guys are ridiculous. A lot of girls could wear plain sweatpants and guys would still look at them. Its just a part of life and I'm never gonna teach her that she can't wear what she wants because guys might want her sexually. \n\nObviously I wouldn't want her going out half naked but I wouldn't let my son do that either. Its not a gender issue. Y'all need to lighten up for real. Its fucking yoga pants. Not a thong and bikini.\n",
"rejected": "Daughter is 1 right now, holding out that hopefully this trend dies off and everyone dresses in trash bags by the time she's in middle school.\n"
},
{
"query": "I just had 4 dates lined up in a whole week for the first time ever in my life and two rescheduled/tenatative, one stood me up with the excuse of \"forgot to pay my phone bill\", and the last one was honest about it being a bad time in her life to be seeing people.\n25/M, How are you guys approaching dating these days? If you're not dating, how are you living your life to the fullest?",
"chosen": "I started dancing at age 25. A female friend convinced me to start salsa dancing (Cuban style) and I fell in love with it. After that finding interesting girls who also shared a passion with me was relatively easy. Had 3 or 4 successive gf's until the last one stuck and now we're in it with mortgage, kids, the whole shebang.\n",
"rejected": "I'm also 25 M bro and you seem par for the course. Women have been flaky the past year or so for whatever reason. Amazing girl i was chatting all day for a month with just stopped talking. Anyways i concentrate on bettering my body, my career and my mind. Working out, doing well at my job, all that. I also recommend traveling w some bros - nothing big maybe a few states over. Then when I'm horny i go on tinder and find sluts to bang to satisfy that part of me. if you have 4 dates in a week lined up, you can probably do that too\n"
},
{
"query": "Like the title says. You made a bet with your so and whoever wins can do anything they want to the other. What would you do?\nMake a bet with a so, winner can do whatever they want. What do you do?",
"chosen": "depends, are you going to marry her one day?\n",
"rejected": "Fuck her sister.\n"
},
{
"query": "Not even talking about a sexual context. I shook someone’s hand the other day and realized I haven’t had physical contact in weeks.\nSingle men, when’s the last time you were touched, or you touched someone physically?",
"chosen": "A long time ago. I hate human interaction... But I long for affection 🙃\n",
"rejected": "Every Applebee's has a gloryhole.\n"
},
{
"query": "I said it after I heard my parents come back in from their dinner date, and we we're in the living room having to get dressed really quickly. \n\nI still don't know what to think about this. I got turned off immediately after she \"corrected\" me for saying goddamn. I stopped things there.\n\n\nThe weird thing though: this was in the middle of oral sex. And not the kind that was blessed or ordained by some kind of priest, either. \n\n\nShe's religious, but really only because her mom passed away three years ago; she's told me this. \n\n\nIs this kind of selective morality something I should expect out of a religious girlfriend?\nReligious girlfriend (19) reproaches me (17) for saying \"the GD-word,\" during oral sex?",
"chosen": "She seems kind of hypocritical to me. Not liking it when people say God's name in vain but being ok with oral sex? \n\nDepending how long you've been dating her, you should probably ask her about it.\n",
"rejected": "Alright so it all depends on how religious she is. I have a relatively similar story. I am an atheist who goes to Baylor University(a private baptist university). I met my current SO in a required religion course in which I did a lot of debating about religion (professor was surprisingly cool with it). \n\nAfter class we eventually struck up conversation from in class as she was very religious. Lucky for me she was raised in a much more accepting religious family. Her grandmother (who's an incredibly sweet lady) wants to break us up because I'm an atheist but her whole family is totally ok with science/gays/abortion/ect.\n\nAfter a year of being friends we started to become more. After many conversations she realized bit by bit how silly the notion of religion itself was (no offense to anyone thats religious and reading this). She's a theist now and having read her journals from the last few years I can guarantee I wouldnt be able to be with the person she was. \n\nIf you have significantly different world views then you two just are almost absolutely incompatible IN MY OPINION. It does not mean one of you wont change or morph, both myself and my SO have. \nI live with my SO now and we are super happy.\n\nTl;dr - IN MY OPINION significantly different worldviews will lead to a bad relationship. If she believes in fairies and you don't you are bound to get into an argument over it eventually.\n"
},
{
"query": "It's not her fault and she can't fix it, but it's a deal breaker for you.\nWhat's the biggest physical turn off in a woman that they have absolutely no control over?",
"chosen": "Crippling mental disorders.\n",
"rejected": "Probably a loud obnoxious laugh would do it for me.\n"
},
{
"query": "I was watching porn one time and this guy and girl were getting busy in their backyard by a fence. After a few minutes the neighbor leaned his head over the fence, watched for a few seconds, and then casually sprayed them w a hose. They stopped what they were doing and walked back inside as if it's totally normal to be caught fucking by your neighbor and sprayed with a hose.\nWhat's the weirdest/funniest thing you've seen watching porn?",
"chosen": "Girl goes to see a doctor, complains about an itch in her neck. Doctor moves hair out of the way and finds she has a vagina in her neck. Obviously starts fucking her neck-gina. Camera moves around to her face, she opens her mouth and you can see his tip coming out of her mouth.\n",
"rejected": "Someone shoving their entire head into a woman’s vagina\n"
},
{
"query": "For instance, when you think they're flirting but then they come out with the \"I'm a playful person\" or \"I'm just playing with you\" line, even if they were super physically affectionate and giving you hints they might be very well into you. I know some people mix both together, and that some (a whole lot) do consider that being playful is a part of flirting but what is it that draws the line?\nWhat line is drawn between being playful and flirting?",
"chosen": "This is something where context matters. A friend I've known for some time, we both have a good idea of what our boundary is between playful and flirting. Though on occasion there may be an implicit or explicit conversation that things are going too far. \n\nIn contrast, say someone I work with, behaviour that is much less intimate than that would be considered flirting. Something has simple as going out of their way to spend time around you could be flirtatious.\n",
"rejected": "Usually comes down to your history with them or general setting. \n\nFor me, I don't generally start getting physical or playful around a girl (this being without the intention of flirting) unless I've been friends with her for at least a year. People have boundaries, which I respect; but relationships are about breaking down those boundaries rather quickly. \n\nIf it is flirting (regardless of time knowing them), it's usually in a more fun setting (i.e. not at school, or in a car, or on a friend's couch). Something more like a pool, or a movie theater, or at a party.\n\nBut then again, that comes down to the guy, as well. This is where I draw my lines.\n"
},
{
"query": "Are you happy with it? Are you not happy with it? Why not? What would you change? Just the length? I don't have a penis, so I am endlessly fascinated by them!\nMen, how many of you are satisfied with your penis?",
"chosen": "I'm circumcised which I hate and I have erectile dysfunction at age 21 so not very satisfied at the moment... I have only been able to reach a full erection once or twice in the past 6 months\n",
"rejected": "Fuck you. You think institutionalized gential mutilation is a joke?\n"
},
{
"query": "Whatever sauce you want for dippin. Whatever beverage you want for sippin.\nHow many chicken nuggets do you think you can eat in one sitting?",
"chosen": "I have no idea. I've never felt satisfied eating any number of chicken nuggets, so I'm going to take the safe route and say \"infinite.\"\n",
"rejected": "The most I've done is 24 chick fil a nuggies. I was getting tired of them by that point too. I assume if I was actually trying to max out, I may be able to hit 40. Money would make that go higher.\n"
},
{
"query": "On multiple occasions a friend of mine will see me talking to a girl out at a bar or a party and come over to say hi, then I'll usually politely introduce him to the girl I'm talking to (because he just stands there trying to insert himself in the convo). From here he will make basic small talk with her, then at some point he'll try to dominate the conversation or talk to her when I've gone to get a drink or the to the bathroom and he'll ask for her number. \n\nNow, technically if a girl is single then she is fair game, but bro code would dictate you don't try take a girl from your friend if he is interested in her first, and you should instead be a wingman for him. \n\nThis \"friend\" of mine doesn't see it that way and instead only thinks about himself and will try his luck at her too. \n\nHe tends to see me as an easy way in to meet new girls, as I've done the heavy lifting of meeting new people, now he will just come over as \"my friend\" and talk to me to meet them. \n\nI've also told him on two occasions that I was interested in the girl so he should back off, and he still went ahead and got their numbers when I wasn't around. \n\nAnyway, I know it's petty but I find it disrespectful and a dick move on his part, and I'm curious if you guys have any strategies or advice in straightening out this guy.\nMy guy \"friend\" doesn't respect bro code and goes for the same girl I'm interested in. What's a good way to deal with him?",
"chosen": "That dude is not a friend he's a fox waiting for you to open the door to the hen house. If he doe's this when you are just trying for a number,he's a jerk. Would you be able to trust this guy around your girlfriend?? If you still want him for a friend just don't take him with you to the places you meet woman at.\n",
"rejected": "Next time he tries to do this quietly warn the girl he has herpes.\n"
},
{
"query": "As I was reading comments about men not taking NO for answer when picking up women, I realized that I haven't even tried to charm woman once in last three years (m29).\n\nSo how about you, normal people, how often do you try that? What are some normie numbers?\nHow often do you try pickup women?",
"chosen": "I've never tried. I am not physically attractive, I have difficulty noticing/reading social cues, and I am not an expert conversationalist by any stretch.\n\nCombined, I see no point in trying to approach. I simply lack what is needed to make that work.\n",
"rejected": "i asked out a girl 1 timein the past two years and it went poorly lol\n"
},
{
"query": "I thought it was fair enough to ask this here as it was asked in /askwomen\nWhat is the turning point in your life that made you hate people?",
"chosen": "When I started becoming bilingual. Everyone is an ass everywhere\n",
"rejected": "Got bullied hard in school by the 7th grade i hit a growth spurt and became one of the biggest guys in school and people then attempted to befriend me and at that point the damage was done and i’ve hated people since then.\n"
},
{
"query": "Trying to avoid carbs, so I can't just peel it and throw it on some toast, so it's gotta be something else. Can anybody help a brother out please?\nI want to eat avocados, but not on toast/bread. Can anybody point me to some quick recipes for this snack?",
"chosen": "Just make guacamole and either eat it straight or use something like carrot sticks to eat it (or you can even use the guac as a topping for salads and meats).\n",
"rejected": "I enjoy mixing an avocado with a can of tuna in a bowl and adding a bit of hot sauce to it.\n"
},
{
"query": "Anything specific? And at what point does it become a turnoff/deal breaker?\nIYO, what makes a girl \"high maintenance\"?",
"chosen": "Needs tons of emotional or social attention. Demands money be spent on her (she's not necessarily vocal about this). \n\nA lot of people think it's putting a lot of effort in one's appearance. But, it's not that in particular. I think most men would love a partner like that even if they say otherwise.... The problem comes with sucking too much energy from your partner.\n",
"rejected": "When she demands things I don't want to do or I have to drive her everywhere and buy everything in sight for her often. She often has unreasonable expectations of a relationship as she's watched too many romcoms.\n\nThink I covered all the bases.\n"
},
{
"query": "25F here. I asked my group of guy friends a question that had them debating for at least 45 minutes. It went, “Would you rather lose 5 inches off of your height, or 3 inches off of your penis length?” (If you had to choose, basically) \n\nThe girls found it hilarious, to say the least.\nGuys - What’s a question you and your mates got into a heated debate over?",
"chosen": "Was the emperor the bad guy all along?\n",
"rejected": "How many, if any at all, wolves could you kill with your bare hands. \n\nMy answer is zero. My friend Shawn? Any and all.\n"
}
] | 6
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000013113021850585938,
"logprob2": -4.625,
"signal": 4.624998688697815
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000007152557373046875,
"logprob2": -4.75,
"signal": 4.749992847442627
}
| 0.124994
| 9
|
10965
|
[
{
"query": "How low down your neck do you let it go? I am a heavier guy (losing weight slowly) and have very little in the way of a chin/jaw. I usually leave about .25\"-.5\" below my jaw bone. I have done the trim up to just under the jaw but that looks fucking god awful on anyone who is heavier (self included) IMHO.\nBeard question...",
"chosen": "The general rule that I see on beard style sites is to let your bears grow to about 1-1.5\" above your Adams Apple and then shave everything below there. That's what I do and I think it looks good.\n",
"rejected": "First, congrats on the weight, man!\n\nNext, find the first crease and shave there. Don't let it go over the \"roll\". Next, shave it thinner towards the edge. It eiyll soften the line and look less stupid, in my opinion.\n"
},
{
"query": "Let me elaborate on the title. I was talking with my fiancee about her sister who has recently found herself a twenty year old single mum. I mentioned that I was a bit worried about her in the future having a love life because not many guys are willing to take on a single mum.\n\nApparently according to her and most of my friends this is a strange viewpoint. I don't really see whats wrong with it, I'm 25, I've only recently come round to the idea of having kids myself and if I have them I want my own. I don't want some other guys ditched kids (if the Dad has left) or to not feel like a real parent (if the Dad has joint custody).\n\nI compared it to buying a dog, adopting from a shelter is a lovely thing to do, its giving something a second chance but given the choice most people would opt for the cute little Labrador puppy over the 3 year old angry looking pitbull. Its natural to want something of your own and to shape it.\n\nRight? Or am I just a monster as several of my friends seem to think.\nI would never date a woman with children, is this a strange viewpoint?",
"chosen": "I'm \"some other guys ditched kid.\" I am not an angry-looking pitbull. I am not a charity case waiting to be adopted from a shelter. I'm a person. \n\nThere's nothing wrong with not wanting children, and I opened this thread to say just that. Your language, however, is distracting. Demonizing the child of a single mother with this sort of metaphor because you, at this point in your life, don't feel like being a father is pretty gross to me. \n\nThe thing about reddit is that people get to show the sides of themselves they choose. When someone asks a question like this, there's a ton of social context we could be missing because OP chooses to omit them. The things you've said make me think you've used this sort of language to describe your situation before, potentially to your SO or friends. If I personally knew the child you're inadvertently comparing to an \"angry looking pitbull,\" I'd find you sort of monstrous as well.\n",
"rejected": "Not weird. But comparing it to shelter dogs is weird.\n"
},
{
"query": "I just finished a conversation where I cut out a friend who I deeply cared for but she didn't put in as much effort and I just couldn't take it anymore. \n\nHow about you guys?\nWhen did you have to cut a person you cared for out of your life?",
"chosen": "Ex wife of 23 years, developed a major substance problem, 17yo son & I havent had contact in over 4 years. Like i lost a part of me. shits rough kids\n",
"rejected": "I fell for her, but she didn't. Twice. She knew this, but wanted to stay friends and in contact. I told her no and to stop contacting me. I dropped her completely, blocked her number and social media. She emailed me. Blocked her there, too. Tried to get our mutual friends to ask me about when I'd start talking to her again. Told them never.\n"
},
{
"query": "Holy crap, guys! Front page!!! Thanks so much :D\n\nThis is the funniest thread I've created so far!\nDescribe your job in one line and we have to figure it out.",
"chosen": "Type, reddit, Nerf, meetings.\n",
"rejected": "Guns don't kill people - I kill people.\n"
},
{
"query": "Men currently above the age of 35 who have either wrong or absent father figures/mentors/role models while growing up, how did you know you were making the right life decision? Do you have any regrets for missing out while everyone else got it right?\n\nI'm currently 28 and did not have a strong father figure to look up to as I grew up. I subconsciously constantly looked for one in college professors, friends elder to me or bosses at work and they all turned out wrong. At 28, I've managed to realise I probably might not get that right person to look up to or approach when I need to. While I'm ok with that, I have difficulty in making decisions because of the constant thought if it's the right decision/choice to make. Hence, I'm curious how others went about establishing that confidence of not worrying about their decisions?\nMen 35+ who grew up with missing father figures, how do you know you're doing life right?",
"chosen": "Father died when I was 8. I was the oldest of 4. Very hard young life. I looked at my friends fathers for that hole in my life.\n",
"rejected": "I have a wife, a car, a house, a stable job, and I’m largely in control of my life.\n"
},
{
"query": "In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.\n\nI know it’s just a stereotype that men constantly want sex and women always turn it down. However, am I doing something wrong?\n\nI’m fine with a 2-3 times a week. We have needs.\nMen, how often do you want to have sex?",
"chosen": "maybe 1 once a month if they want to\n",
"rejected": "*In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.*\n\n*However, am I doing something wrong?*\n\nAre you initiating the sex, or are you just waiting for him to take the lead and when he doesn't you assume he doesn't want to have sex? It's quite possible he did want more sex but thought you didn't, so he didn't bother trying.\n\nLikewise, guys will sometimes avoid it if they're stressed, not feeling great, etc. Not necessarily because they don't want it, but because they're worried they won't be able to perform and it'll be very embarrassing.\n"
},
{
"query": "My boyfriend insists on using his towel until it smells and thinks I am being extra since I made him change his towels every week because it's gross.\nHow often do you guys change bath towels?",
"chosen": "Every 2 days. Once a week is still kinda gross to me\n",
"rejected": "Isn't a towel just drying a clean body? \n\nIf your towel is stinking and nasty after one shower you've gotta up your cleaning game.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm 23, as is my girlfriend. We both work in the service industry, and go to different nearby colleges. I have a history with being with a lot of women, but I stopped contact with most if not all of them, and the ones I do talk to are strictly plutonic conversations. I can't talk to, or see, any woman she isn't already friends with without her being jealous and angry. Most recently she yelled at me for asking about a long term friend wanting to visit from out of town. Her and I have never been anything but strict friends.\n\nHow do I convince her I'm 100% faithful and only view these people as friends and not women?\nMy girlfriend doesn't trust me to have female friends, what do I do?",
"chosen": "There are two possibilities. The first is that she's the problem, the second is that you are. If she's the problem you need to let her know that you aren't cool being told who you can and can't hang out with and that you aren't interested in a relationship without that baseline level of trust between partners. The other possibility is that you are doing something to make her think you aren't faithful. If this is the problem you should ask your gf what you are doing to make her feel like you aren't truly committed to the relationship and what you can do to change those perceptions.\n",
"rejected": "Get a new girlfriend. You're too old for this shit.\n"
},
{
"query": "Walk me through your average eating day. Is your body a fair reflection of your diet? What are your feelings on what you consume, are you even worried about your health?\nHow is your diet?",
"chosen": "I live alone and work a lot. My diet tends to be garbage as a result, and as I hit middle age, it's catching up with me.\n",
"rejected": "Breakfast usually a banana with an egg or a muffin.\n\nMorning snack pistachios with cranberries and maybe a rice cake.\n\nLunch is a lettuce wrap with turkey, cheese, veggies, etc.\n\nDinner varies usually some kind of chicken dish and some rice or something.\n\nAnd dessert is a frozen yogurt bar.\n\nI’m a woman and I weigh a lot more than I look like I weigh. That’s always been the case even as a kid. I exercise nearly daily so maybe it’s muscle.\n\nI’m not worried about my diet. I do eat too much sugar sometimes but I’m healthy so I don’t think it’s a problem since it’s not constant.\n"
}
] | 5
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000013113021850585938,
"logprob2": -4.25,
"signal": 4.249998688697815
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00015926361083984375,
"logprob2": -7.5,
"signal": 7.49984073638916
}
| 3.249842
| 3
|
6188
|
[
{
"query": "This men's rights stuff is still a fairly new concept to me, but I'm trying to learn more and am pretty open minded. \n\nAs I understand it, legal abortion would be a termination of parental rights and responsibilities, opted for before the child is born. This idea sseems to have a lot of support on this sub.\n\n I was wondering, how many of you think you would actually use this if it were legal? Is the support for this a matter of principal (\"I wouldn't do it myself but it should exist\") or practicality (\"I might need this someday\")?\nIf it were an option, would you use \"legal abortion\" in the case of unwanted pregnancy?",
"chosen": "Only if she was unwilling to share custody of the child 50/50. If I get someone pregnant and she wants to keep the baby I feel that it is my right and duty to be a part of that child's life.\n\nI'm lucky enough to live in Sweden where 50/50 custody is the norm and you are more likely to *lose* custody if you want sole custody for no good reason.\n",
"rejected": "It feels better without for women as well. It's hard enough bring yourself to use them with both parties needing the protection, I think their use would decline massively if men didn't need to worry about unwanted pregnancy. I admit that I AM dumb enough to risk it because it feels better, and so are a lot of guys I've been with TBH.\n\nWhich is a greater benefit for society? Well obviously men sharing responsibility for unwanted pregnancies is better for society. The only benefit of legal abortion is to men who want to have their cake and eat it, as the great expense of the girl and baby involved.\n"
},
{
"query": "My husband is hesitant to consider this new job opportunity because he believes the commute time is too long. I don't understand his rational and think it would be shortsighted to pass up a potentially great career move simply because he doesn't want to be in the car for a few more minutes each day. I'm curious to see how others feel in terms of their threshold for drive time. Just so you have the full picture, his current commute one-way is 17 minutes/10 miles and the prospective one would be 21 minutes/14 miles.\nWhat is your idea of a \"reasonable\" commute time to work?",
"chosen": "He’s turning down a job over a 5 minute longer commute??! Shiiit. Under 30 minutes is definitely reasonable. Between 45 min - an hour, I’d have to really love the job. I’d try to avoid an hour+ commute\n",
"rejected": "Even though I reverse commuted before, 55 minutes one way killed my poor wallet. I did love the prayer time and blasting remixes at 8 am. I love near the expressway now so it takes about 40 minutes for me to get downtown. And the second you see the skyline never gets old.\n"
},
{
"query": "I enjoy reading through this sub regularly. But it's not a secret that 90% of the questions are on the subject matter of relationships or sex. I'd like to think that there are more layers to us men than what our relationship status is.\n\nIf the mods only allowed non-relationship questions, do you think the sub would die? Or do you think it would yield more creative questions?\nWhat would /r/askmen look like if it banned relationship and sex questions for a week?",
"chosen": "Questions about dinosaurs I hope.\n",
"rejected": "God it'd be amazing.\n"
},
{
"query": "Mostly, the young guys wrap a towel around their waist when going to & from the showers. Mostly, the older guys don't cover up. Why the disparity?\nWhy the generational disparity in covering up in the locker room at the gym?",
"chosen": "I’m only 34 so i’m young but still older than a lot of people at the gym I go to. I lost my shame when I was in the Army. It’s a locker room, you’re gonna see some dicks swinging around.\n",
"rejected": "Pretty simple: the amount of fucks you have to give is inversely proportional to your age. It's why you often hear stories of old folks doing the weirdest, craziest shit.\n"
},
{
"query": "Wore them for the first time in awhile and got an “I like your jeans” from a girl in class, so maybe the Ballcrushers will be re-entering the rotation.\nMy ex used to love one of my pairs of jeans. She called them the Cute Butt Jeans. I called them the Ballcrushers. What are some minor things you put up simply because your significant other likes them?",
"chosen": "My beard. I'm not a fan, it itches and generally annoys me. I grow it in the late fall for her and see if I can make it three months before I shave it.\n",
"rejected": "I let a girl pluck my eyebrows. I teared up a little, but was worth it because she sat on my lap and I got to stare at her boobies the whole time.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm 28 female about to get married, and both doctors I've seen so far about a tubal ligation say I'll have a hard time finding a doctor because \"I may change my mind and want kids eventually.\" Does this pushback happen to guys as well?\nThose of you who have had/wanted a vasectomy at a young age with no kids, did you get pushback from your doctor?",
"chosen": "Had cash in hand at 20 and went to a urologist.\n\nWas denied because I didn't have any kids.\n\nWent to a 2nd doc, was told the same thing at the consult.\n\nI am now 32 and still do not want kids. I never will, and i've known that since I was teenager. I could probably get it done now but no longer have that kind of disposible cash laying around.\n",
"rejected": "I got a tubal at 22. It was mental torture to actually get 'approved' (to do something to my own body. weird). After that, the actual procedure seemed like a picnic. AMA! No mind-changing, never been on hormonal BC, no regrets.\n"
},
{
"query": "In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.\n\nI know it’s just a stereotype that men constantly want sex and women always turn it down. However, am I doing something wrong?\n\nI’m fine with a 2-3 times a week. We have needs.\nMen, how often do you want to have sex?",
"chosen": "maybe 1 once a month if they want to\n",
"rejected": "*In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.*\n\n*However, am I doing something wrong?*\n\nAre you initiating the sex, or are you just waiting for him to take the lead and when he doesn't you assume he doesn't want to have sex? It's quite possible he did want more sex but thought you didn't, so he didn't bother trying.\n\nLikewise, guys will sometimes avoid it if they're stressed, not feeling great, etc. Not necessarily because they don't want it, but because they're worried they won't be able to perform and it'll be very embarrassing.\n"
},
{
"query": "I listen to the soviet national anthem sometimes to get motivated.\nWhat's the most degenerate vice you have? (No masturbating and watching porn, that's too easy)",
"chosen": "I will absolutely sleep / stay in bed until noon on my days off, unless I have something to do.\n",
"rejected": "To be honest I can't think of anything. \n\nMaybe reading erotica?\n"
},
{
"query": "Neck kisses? Bought you a coffee? That thing with her tongue? Forehead kisses? Backrub? Give me lotsa ideas to show my adoration:)\nWhat was that thing a girl did to completely melt you? Physically or emotionally?",
"chosen": "Honestly i just love taking care of a girl.\nI just love when a girl lays her head on my chest or on my lap, and just lays there so i can go through her hair with my hands and talk to her, tell her stories of my childhood if she wants or just listening to music together.\n",
"rejected": "Callously opening the Ark of the Covenant.\n"
},
{
"query": "For today's FAQ Friday, we will be discussing whether or not you think your attractive, what makes you think that way, what could potentially lead to changing the way that you think, and any related tips/advice/stories that people can share in this regard.\n\nSome additional questions: What do you think of people who potentially have a warped sense of their own level of attraction (in either direction)?\n\nDo you have friends or family members who think too highly/little of themselves?\n\nHow has thinking this way impacted you and the people around you?\n\nKeep in mind, we're trying to make these questions useful, so shitposts will be removed.\nFAQ Friday: Do you think you’re attractive/unattractive?",
"chosen": "I think I'm attractive. No major deformities, symmetrical features, nice hair, in decent athletic shape, fashion conscious, and generally pleasant and fun to be around. Never had a problem making friends and people typically like me when I meet them.\n\nThere are certainly hurdles I have to overcome when it comes to dating though. I'm Asian, which in my experience turns a lot of women off. I'm also short, which is another dealbreaker for some. There are still plenty of women who don't care about this stuff; trick is simply to find them.\n",
"rejected": "I'm short. Which I'm not really bothered about. It's my hairline which bugs me. I'm 21 with a receded hairline. And it sucks because I can't style it without it looking bad. And I have a few scars from spots which haven't faded. Body can be fixed at the gym and better dieting. But I feel my hairline is recking my confidence.\n"
},
{
"query": "Men of r/AskMen, what do y'all listen to while working? It can be something to improve concentration or act like a distraction for repetitive work\nWhat do you listen to while working? (Job, studying, etc)",
"chosen": "I choose a song that hasn't been overplayed and that I like enough, and put that ish on repeat for however long I work. It becomes great white noise after the 2nd play and makes it so I don't have to worry about skipping/choosing songs\n",
"rejected": "I’m a huge fan of lofi hip hop and downtempo music. I listen to it all the time, not just during work and study sessions.\n"
}
] | 6
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000001430511474609375,
"logprob2": -10.25,
"signal": 10.249998569488525
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000042438507080078125,
"logprob2": -5.125,
"signal": 5.12495756149292
}
| -5.125041
| 4
|
10981
|
[
{
"query": "22 year old driving a 2004 Accord right now and its perfectly fine, convince me to not drop money on a new Camry or Mustang\nI'm young and dumb, how do I get over the idea that a nice new car is a status symbol?",
"chosen": "It *is* a status symbol. It usually means that you got money and success and it will attract a certain type of woman.\n",
"rejected": "Owning a Camry will never be a status symbol. Ever.\n"
},
{
"query": "It feels like time is racing by and it gets harder to take a moment and appreciate the journey. What would you suggest I do? Or what would you do/have done?\nI feel like I have little life experience and I'm almost 30. What can I do to improve?",
"chosen": "Sky dive.\n\nDo it once. Nothing affirms your sense of mortality as effectively as trying to end it.\n\nI am scared of heights. I was before I went sky diving...which is why I went. I screamed my tonsils out from the moment I tumbled out of the plane to the moment I landed.\n\nIn between, there was a short expanse of complete bliss when I fell to Earth; butt to dirt, tits to air.\n\nAnd in that second...pure bliss. A deep comfort of being...broken by my screaming and I am sure I sprained my butthole twice...which is *still* two sizes smaller than it should be.\n",
"rejected": "Your're 24, how does that make you almost 30?\n"
},
{
"query": "So after a lot of observation of married people and my my own principles of life, I have came to a conclusion that it'd be best for me if I never get married. I might get into serious relationships but I won't compromise for the sake of relationship. Especially because I live in a society where you're expected to.\nI might be thinking extremely here as I am just 24 and have never been in a actual relationship and people already expect me to get married as I have secured a decent career already.\nI am very introverted and never been able to attract attention to me let alone impress a girl. This might become a problem for me to find a girl who might agree with my views about marriage but it's not my worry. I just want to focus on my career and if I would want to commit myself to something I'll commit to a goodwill cause. If I want kids I'll adopt them.\nSo I want to know what might be some psychological or societal problems I might face if never commit a long term relationship.\nWhat are some problems you might face if you decide to never get married ?",
"chosen": "You may suffer from an excess of money and free time, lack of stress and anxiety, too much good sleep, you may also suffer from having hobbies without guilt and doing whatever you want whenever you want it. Pretty severe consequences if you ask me.\n",
"rejected": "Single guy in my mid 30s here.\nOnly thing I actually worry about is that if something incapacitates me at home, then I am fucked. There will be noone to check up on me regularly.\n\nApart from that I see only upsides, unless you enjoy constant companionship.\n\nYou are in full control of your life, you answer to noone...\n"
},
{
"query": "I made some Kraft mac and cheese yesterday for lunch (which I don't normally do), and had the dilemma of which utensil to use. I ended up using a spoon, but I wondered what I would do if the noodle were bigger or a different shape. Fork or spoon? What about cake? Fork or spoon?\n\nLet's settle this...\nAlright men (and women), what utensil do you eat mac and cheese with and why?",
"chosen": "A shovel, like the piece of gluttonous shit I am.\n",
"rejected": "Fork so I can slide a noodle onto each prong tbh\n"
},
{
"query": "Saw this question on askWomen. A lot of women said \"yes\". Something tells me they'll be different answers for men, so have at it.\nDo you repeat to your SO secrets that other people told you in confidence?",
"chosen": "Hell fucking no, unless I feel my SO could somehow magically fix their situation. My friend tells her boyfriend everything she has ever witnessed, heard, imagined, envisioned, whatever and it drives me insane. Just keep your mouth shut! I don't understand why people think it's okay to do that, your SO isn't an extension of yourself. There is a reason someone tells *you* specifically and not your SO.\n",
"rejected": "If I tell someone a secret, I do so with the expectation that they'll tell their SO. Ergo, if I don't think I can trust their SO, I don't tell them.\n"
},
{
"query": "I just moved into my own place, and besides my old college American flag and beer posters, what sort of wall decorations and art would you all recommend?\nMen, what sort of art/decorations do you have in your apartment?",
"chosen": "Woman here, but what my male friends (in their early 20s) have in their apartment which makes them feel cosy are :\n- potted plants\n- framed photographs and movie posters (a frame makes all the difference, choose a narrow black frame to keep things neutral)\n- touches of colours with a few pillows, dishes, carpets\n- nice lamps (makes a lot of difference) with warm light bulbs for the living room and bedroom, and white light bulbs for the other rooms\n\nMake things personal by making sure the things around you relate to your story, passions and travels!\n",
"rejected": "I have a cedar bow rack displaying a dozen arrows, my recurve and longbow. And a magnetic levitating Death Star.\n"
},
{
"query": "We had a similar one a while ago directed at older guys. Wondering what this question would look like directed at younger guys (say, 16-25).\nYoung guys: what is a common statement/belief here that makes you think \"yeah, you're definitely not part of my age demographic\"?",
"chosen": "You're asking this question at the wrong time to get answers from your questions demographic. Schools back in session, right now is the hour of the cubical warriors.\n",
"rejected": "Baggy pants, that sometimes fall off unless held up. And they have no idea just how stupid they look.\n"
},
{
"query": "A close family member recently got a stroke, he will likely not walk independently again and will need a carer 24/7 for the rest of his life to help him piss, cook for him, etc.\nHe's 50 years old.\n\nIt got me thinking, and I've come to the conclusion that if I didn't have the means to support myself financially using a care home, or if I lost the ability to do basic things like playing video games or browsing the internet without help, then I'd just say fuckit.\n\nI just don't want to be bedridden everyday for the rest of my life, and because of my family history not being great in the living past 60 department (bad blood pressure, strokes everywhere) I don't think I'll prepare for a retirement past maybe 80/85 (accounting for better healthcare), after which I'll blow my money on heroin and then jump off a cliff/OD on morphine etc. Anything like being a vegetable or losing my mental capacity in any way also applies.\n\nSome might say that I'd want to see my grandkids grow up, that may be true in the future, but this is how I feel now. I don't think its worth the depression I'd feel either way.\n\nI have a feeling this sentiment may be pretty common among the early 20s demographic of askmen, is this true? To anyone in their 30s+, did you have these feelings, did they change as you got older?\n\nThanks\nI feel that if I ever become permanently disabled/ill (e.g paralyzed from the neck, dementia, loss of motor function in my hands, losing independence etc) I'd be far more comfortable blowing my brains out than to be a burden, any others relate?",
"chosen": "Absolutely. I'll add in blindness as well. I don't mind losing any of the other senses, but that one is non-negotiable for me to want to continue living.\n",
"rejected": "Yes, I have always felt the exact same way. And I'd even go further than you--if I so much as lost the use of my legs or I was horrifically disfigured in some way, nothing would stop me from finding a way to take myself out of this world.\n\nI've never talked about it with another person in my life but I sorta feel like I should, so that I can find someone who would be willing to help me with some sort of assisted suicide if I was ever quadriplegic or unable to accomplish my death on my own.\n\nPeople might call this weak or cowardly, because you always see those people who lead full lives after they suffer debilitating accidents or medical ailments. And really, I do admire them. I just don't think for even a second that I could do the same. The moment my quality of life is reduced like that, put the gun against my head and pull the trigger.\n"
},
{
"query": "Wondering what else you consider bad sex aside from the obvious such as her lying there like a corpse or bad hygiene etc.. What other things make it forgettable?\nWhat makes sex bad other than the obvious?",
"chosen": "When you're doing it, go to open mouth kiss, and bump teeth hard. It's a full stop kind of feeling. \n\nI have flashbacks to doing this once 10 years ago. I swear, it nearly ended my relationship.\n",
"rejected": "Having your dog stick his nose up in your ass.\n"
},
{
"query": "For me it's Nobuo Uematsu, without a doubt. Playing many of the video games he composed the music for as a kid (and even still now) so many of his pieces really evoke some strong nostalgic feelings from me, and his music is so beautifully composed and spectacular in general.\n\nAlso - there are so many! Hundreds! I don't think I'd ever get bored.\nYou can only listen to one band/artist/composer's music for the rest of your life. Who do you choose?",
"chosen": "Probably slipknot. They have a lot of songs I can relate to. If I want a softer song, I can just listen to to snuff or vermilion pt. 2. Then the rest is just to get me pumped.\n",
"rejected": "Miles Davis was had such a diverse career, I can't see why not to put him.\n"
}
] | 6
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00001049041748046875,
"logprob2": -4.5,
"signal": 4.4999895095825195
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000001430511474609375,
"logprob2": -9.25,
"signal": 9.249998569488525
}
| 4.750009
| 3
|
127139
|
[
{
"query": "Personally I’m super hyped for how different they look from past games, and I’m glad I’ve avoided most of the leaks so get to go in pretty much blind!\nAnyone else looking forward to the new pokemon scarlet and violet coming out on Friday?",
"chosen": "Yes! Which did you guys go with? Scarlet or Violet? Why?\n",
"rejected": "Me! I bought and downloaded Violet already. I'm really excited for this one even though I've mostly avoided trailers and leaks about the game\n"
},
{
"query": "...and I got messages from men asking me if I was starting an OnlyFans account. When I explained it was actually for gaming, they said \"uh huh sure\" and doubted I actually played anything. If a dude posted a picture of his gaming station, would people accuse him of starting an OF?? No! Ugh.\nI posted a picture of my gaming setup...",
"chosen": "Well completely unrelated but I said to a guy I work with once that it’s a good thing I like women. When he asked why I said “ because men consistently believe they are better then us so any man I dated would have to be better then me in everything I do.” he looked at me and replied “you would be single for a loooooong time.” Was kinda funny xD\n",
"rejected": "Ah yes proving once again there is a reason it's spelled dissapointMENt. Dear lord what an ass.\n"
},
{
"query": "I couldn't think of any other way to word the title, I just wanted to ask if there is anyone here who is transitioning, but does so without overly trying to meet gender norms? Example being MtF people who don't bother with makeup on a day to day basis. I personally don't see any reason to change myself too much, I want this to be as natural as possible. I already know that I don't look good and won't until I'm on hormones. I just don't care now. I like seeing myself as a woman, and wearing women's clothes reinforces that, makeup is unnecessary for me personally to feel good. Plus I'd look like someone doodled on me if I tried to do it.\n\nSo anyone else like me and transitioning with little consideration for gender norm?\nAnyone else transitioning lazily?",
"chosen": "Firstly Its important to transition at your own pace because if your not comfortable its going to be that much harder.\n\nSecondly is other people's perception this is something you will have no control over this is where blending in and passing take on some importance its not how you feel its its how you want other people to receive you. As long as you are happy in your presentation and the reaction it illicit then its all good.\n\nThirdly, especially in the UK I would say your presentation should be inline with your expectation when transitioning on the NHS.\n\nIs there a balance, yes of course there is, where it is for each person is a different matter.\n\nI knew what I needed so I stepped up and did it. I felt I needed to do certain things which took a lot of work but it was ultimately rewarding. I guess my though process was to make it as easier as possible for everyone else to gender me correctly which would in turn make my life a little bit easier.\n",
"rejected": "Some say lazy, I say integrated. At every step in this game, I want to know that I could stop and still feel authentic. It's led me from being a cis dude who really liked dressing up for Rocky Horror, to a questioning andro kid who traded all their collared shirts for tshirts, to a femme guy with purple hair, to a queer person with long purple hair, earrings, nail polish, and now eyeliner on the daily -- who still rocks dapper menswear. I love who I am, cuz I'm not trying to be anything I could possibly fail at being. Next stop, boobs, and whatever else.\n"
},
{
"query": "Heys,\n\nI follow a good amount of trans women on youtube, namely PrincessJoules, Maya, Stef Sanjati, Brooklyn Beauty, Kat Blaque among others.\n\nWhile I absolutely love them and they inspire me to not be so depressed about being early transition and feeling socially awkward (I used to be a big extrovert), all of them are straight...\n\nWhile that's understandable as many began as 'gay' AMAB people, does anyone know of/follow well known gay/bi/pan trans women? I'm into women myself but I feel like all the channels I follow only talk about men :(\nAny trans women youtubers attracted to women?!?",
"chosen": "Kat is trans!? TIL. \n\nNever mind me, I just wandered in here from a link on Zinnia's Twitter. Hi /u/rmuser !\n",
"rejected": "We do have Zinnia Jones. Sheesh, she even appears on this sub every so often posting with her own account.\n"
},
{
"query": "I wish there was another game as awesome as Skyrim. Every building can be entered, every npc has a name and usually has a storyline, and you can mod the shit out it. I know Skyrim like the back of my hand and I want to experience the feeling of playing a totally new game that has all those great qualities only found in Skyrim.\nWhat game do you wish existed?",
"chosen": "...FPS Animal Crossing. \n\nNO NOOK I WILL NOT BE A COG IN YOUR MACHINE ANYMORE. \n\nRESETTI I AM GOING TO RESET AND YOU ARE GOING TO TELL ME WHAT A GOOD IDEA THAT IS.\n",
"rejected": "I want a crime game, like where you have to plan a heist and perform it, like you have to plan every single detail and try again until it succeeds. \n\nI bought PAYDAY in the hopes it would be what I wanted, but I don't like the mindlessly just shooting everyone. \n\nI want something where you have to have multiple people doing multiple stuff that you've planned out beforehand, like the tv show leverage.\n"
},
{
"query": "Is there a specific item you're looking for and can't find? Want to help fellow FFAers in their search for x? This is the thread to do it in!\n\nIf you're asking for help, please also try and answer others' requests! This only works if we all help out.\nFind Fashion Friday - March 04, 2016",
"chosen": "More jumpsuit talk! I was initially looking for a black jumpsuit for a wedding I'm going to, but most of the black ones I've found are either too sexy or too casual. So I'm widening my search to burgundy/maroon or navy! Skinny/tapered legs, under $100 CAD. Any help is appreciated! (also if you find any great ones that are in a different colour, I'm open to it!)\n",
"rejected": "A while back someone posted a wallet that was very similar to the Everlane square zip around wallet at a slightly lower price point. I would opt for the Everlane one but the colors I want are out of stock and I'm in desperate need of a new wallet. Can anyone tell me what this wallet was or recommend something similar?\n"
},
{
"query": "Pretty self-explanatory. I want your recommendations on the absolute best undies out there. I have been wearing Target or Victoria's Secret briefs for years, and I'm tired of my underwear going up my butt all day. I also want undies that won't show when I wear my dress pants at work. I have tried Hanky Panky thongs, but have found they ride up on me just as much as the cheap thongs. So, while my preference is briefs or boy short, I am open to comfy thongs as well. Thanks in advance!\n\nWow, what a response! Thank you for all the recommendations! I will try some seamless undies, as well as aerie, and some of your other recommendations as well. \n\nAs for actually going commando, well, I'm a lawyer, so I probably don't want to do that under my suits...\nAll right, ladies, help me out. Best undies that don't ride up or give you VPL?",
"chosen": "Vintage Lace from Aerie are divine. \nI love Aerie so so much anything you get there is going to last a long time and be so comfortable. \nTheir girls actually know how to size bras also.\n",
"rejected": "DKNY! You can get them for cheaper if there's a Nordstrom Rack in your area, or try any big department store like Macys.\n"
},
{
"query": "This question was inspired by the other post asking how you Pinterest. I am wondering how others keep track of things they want to buy. I used to save shopping lists in Pinterest so that I can see what I want but what really drove me crazy is that when you add something to Pinterest for the 2nd time it doesn't let you know if its already saved. So I would often have tons of duplicates because my memory sucks and it would just feel overwhelming. I switched over to saving everything in the chrome browser which syncs on cells, when you add something to favorites it shows you if its been saved already. But I wish I had the visual of my shopping list :( do you have any method to make sure you don't have duplicates or is this a problem only I have lol. Do you have any other method of keeping track of your wishlist besides Pinterest or bookmarking it?\nHow do you keep track of things you want to buy",
"chosen": "I use Shoptagr !\n",
"rejected": "I keep links in a google docs spreadsheet, organised by item type (so all t-shirts are in the same column, etc). Those sit for awhile, and every so often I go through each one and delete what I don't like. I like doing this because pictures of the items aren't in my face all the time. \n\nWhen I'm actually thinking of buying things, I'll put like 7 of my favourite things on a pinterest board and look at them all together. I wouldn't do this for my entire list of things I'm interested in, though - that would be way too overwhelming!\n"
},
{
"query": "Hello! I'm student teaching this semester and trying to build a teaching wardrobe! I've realized how much I love wearing skirts, but it's hard to find longer ones that are work appropriate! What are your favorite longer skirts?\nWhat is your favororite knee-length or longer skirt?",
"chosen": "You just missed Boden’s winter season tweed pencil skirts!! 😩\n",
"rejected": "Ann Taylor has a lot of great sales and their clothes last forever! If you need petite sized clothing, it’s the best place to go.\n"
},
{
"query": "Hi guys, trying to gather some of your best laundry tricks. Right now I have a top with what I believe is an oil stain on it - haven't washed or dried yet, any advice on that? \n\nTotally interested in other ideas too, tips on getting wine stains out, or best ways to air dry, etc? What's your routine?\nLaundry techniques?",
"chosen": "I would like to offer hydrogen peroxide to this list. It is the active ingredient in oxy cleaners. It foams on contact with blood, and whoosh! Its gone. Works on yellowing stains too. I would also offer the dryel spray. I have not met a stain that dryel spray has not removed. I save it for use on dry clean only and such, because its expensive.\n",
"rejected": "Pen mark? Use some cheap hairspray, then spot clean with dish soap.\n"
},
{
"query": "By sexual attraction, I mean say bisexual, hetero, pan, a, homo, etc.\n\nI'm 18 and starting to really consider changing, in my head I feel it's right, but I've NEVER been one to trust my emotions (I'm quite logical). I personally identify as asexual, more specifically heteroromantic, because I'd want to live vicariously through a girl if I can't be one myself. Also, in terms of masturbation, I really enjoy anything from a girl masturbating, or teasing (moreso in a \"I wish that was me\" way though) to transexuals/shemales in a \"I find that to be quite attractive\" way and to boys/men masturbating in a \"I want that in me\" way.\n\nNot sure how anyone else feels, I'd love any form of feedback.\nWhat sexual attraction did you identify before the change? What did you (if you did) masturbate to prior to hormone therapy?",
"chosen": "Pre transition I was only attracted to women. Or so I thought. In hindsight I now realize I was also attracted to men. (In fact, I was in love with my male best friend.) During the start of my transition I figured that would remain the same; girls only. Then I became more bisexual, and then more attracted to men.\n\nWhen I started HRT my sexual attraction toward men would only increase. After I had sex with a guy for the first time I knew I was *way* more into guys than I was with girls.\n\nSince HRT I have had my share of guys (and girls), and my libido, which was never low to begin with, has only increased. I realize this doesn't seem to be the norm for a lot of trans women and they are happy that way but I'm very glad mine wasn't affected in that manner.\n\nWhenever people inquire about my sexuality I usually say I'm pansexual. I love a person, regardless of their gender identity. Personality first, gender is secondary. I tried being straight (from both sides) but that just didn't work for me. It felt limiting. I still very much prefer guys though.\n\nI don't think my sexuality actually *changed*. While transitioning and being on hormones I let myself be open to all experiences as they would happen. During this I realized it was more that I was limiting myself when it came to my sexuality and not really dared to think outside of the box. I opened myself up and found out I enjoy a lot of things (and people) that I would not even have considered before.\n\nAs far as masturbatory content goes, I never really watched porn. It did very little for me back then; it does very little for me now. Especially in the later years (pre transition) it was more done for stress relief than anything else. Once I got married I had enough sex to never warrant to have to masturbate, but even that got old (for more reasons than I care to explain right now).\n\nIt's fine to be attracted to (pre op) transsexual women, as long as it doesn't become all creepy. From what you wrote it doesn't sound like you are. :) Transsexual women, in whatever \n",
"rejected": "Pretty much the same, except for 'shemale' porn. I've checked it out but it just makes me really sad. I have no desire to be trans (but rather to be cis female) and it has taken me a long time to come to terms with that compromise. I still can't identify with trans bodies.\n"
},
{
"query": "In this generation lot of trans folks don't like being called transsexual and just wondering if it's still offensive to you\nDoes the word \"Transsexual\" offends you??",
"chosen": "I think it's necessary to keep as a medical term because the word transgender is considered an umbrella term and someone can be transgender but also not medically transition so there needs to be a word for binary trans people who medically transition.\n",
"rejected": "Not a bit. I own all my labels and I define them. I give that Right to no one. I am affectionately know to my friends as 'The Good Tranny of the North'. I love it, I embrace it and I own it. I choose. \n\nWe were all known as 'Transsexuals' when I came out. That was our label. How it became a slur is beyond me. I don't see it as one, it's just us and we are awesome. I know how much courage it takes to do what we are doing. To fly in the face of society and just change. The World should fear such bravery, and does. I'm proud to be a 'Transsexual' or whatever else you might want to call me. I know what it takes, they don't. I just smile. Grow some skin kids.\n"
}
] | 4
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00001728534698486328,
"logprob2": -5.25,
"signal": 5.249982714653015
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000001430511474609375,
"logprob2": -8.875,
"signal": 8.874998569488525
}
| 3.625016
| 7
|
7025
|
[
{
"query": "For me it’s Batman. He’s human, a human billionaire playboy philanthropist that fights crime, extraterrestrial beings and let’s not forget has a contingency plan for the entire JSL.\nWhat’s the greatest superhero of all time?",
"chosen": "Hancock. Full stop. It's not even close.\n",
"rejected": "Your mom OP.\n\nHonestly, (or your father), they fed you, raised you, are actual people and gave you the confidence to ask strangers an objectivly silly question.\n\n(Which I think is a good thing BTW).\n"
},
{
"query": "Eye contact, dirty laundry, hairy nipples, dog licking its balls in the background, etc.\nMen who like receiving nudes, what do you dislike seeing in the shot?",
"chosen": "A nude is hotter when there’s a smiling face in there\n",
"rejected": "Hairy nipples.\n"
},
{
"query": "My dad carried one of me and my brother for all of my childhood, and it's one of the most touching things I can remember. I have one of my daughter in mine. But in the age of smartphones and the internet, do people still do this?\nFathers, do you carry pictures of your children in your wallets?",
"chosen": "Yep. I have a pic of my wife and daughter at the beach. It's years old but it was the perfect day.\n",
"rejected": "We have smartphones now. That's where they are.\n"
},
{
"query": "I am 21 years old and 99% of my shaves are in the shower because i dont make huge mess after im done and i can easily wash my face away. \n\nHow the hell do you people shave at the sink? I cant really find a way to clean my face after done shaving without making a huge mess out of it. \n\nAre you fucking wizards?\nMen how the fuck do you shave at the sink without making a mess?",
"chosen": "I don't, I just clean up after\n",
"rejected": "I use an electric shaver, dry. Not only it's much better for the skin, but I can shave anywhere, or during breakfast, and don't need to wash my face afterwards if I don't want to. As added benefits, it's better for the environment as I'm not using and washing down polluting chemicals and it saves several litres of water every day of my life.\n"
},
{
"query": "I can start. Cancun. Dangerous, can't get an uber because of the Taxi Mafia, and it's just a beach resort town you can do better and safer in Florida, Texas or California.\nWhat's an over hyped tourist destination?",
"chosen": "As someone from the Bay Area, I say San Francisco. It gets hyped up as such a beautiful city, but when you actually walk through it, there are so many parts that are filthy. There's a lot of trash and graffiti, many of the people there are cold and stiff, and there's been a problem with people taking a #1 and a #2 outside. Additionally, it's not as safe as people think it is; for starters, car break-ins have been on the rise. While it does have plenty of things to see and do such as Golden Gate Park, the Ice Cream Museum, and Pier 39, SF isn't all that it's cracked up to be--and it's a super-expensive place to live.\n",
"rejected": "Disney. If you want obnoxious tourists, it's the place to be. Otherwise, your dollar will go a thousand times farther in a large number of other places.\n"
},
{
"query": "In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.\n\nI know it’s just a stereotype that men constantly want sex and women always turn it down. However, am I doing something wrong?\n\nI’m fine with a 2-3 times a week. We have needs.\nMen, how often do you want to have sex?",
"chosen": "maybe 1 once a month if they want to\n",
"rejected": "*In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.*\n\n*However, am I doing something wrong?*\n\nAre you initiating the sex, or are you just waiting for him to take the lead and when he doesn't you assume he doesn't want to have sex? It's quite possible he did want more sex but thought you didn't, so he didn't bother trying.\n\nLikewise, guys will sometimes avoid it if they're stressed, not feeling great, etc. Not necessarily because they don't want it, but because they're worried they won't be able to perform and it'll be very embarrassing.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm a tutor for my college's athletic department and this summer I've been tutoring some football players in Anatomy and Physiology.\n\nSo the boys I tutor were learning about bones and I was trying to get them to remember that every time you see \"osteo-\" that probably means bone. One of them mentioned osteoporosis because their girlfriend's mom just got diagnosed with it, so I used that as an example. I explained the condition to them, why it's more common in women, how it can have genetic factors, etc. One of them asked if there are ways to prevent it, so I told them I've heard calcium supplements and weight-bearing exercises are good. \n\nOne of them went home and told his girlfriend- with no context- that she really needed to start working out more. I don't think she was amused. What's the dumbest/most insulting thing you've ever accidentally said to a woman?\nWhat is the most accidentally insulting thing you've ever said to a woman?",
"chosen": "\"I had a still birth.\"\n\nMe: \"Congratulations!\"\n",
"rejected": "I had a woman come over and start chatting to me at a bar, I just turned 20 (18 legal age) and she wasn’t very attractive but probably double my age.\n\nShe was talking and asked how old I was and I said 20, she said ‘oh wow I’m old enough to be your mother’,\nI said yeah you’re probably right.\n\nWomen apparently don’t like the insinuation that they could have a 20 year old kid.. despite bringing it up first and looking like she was over 40.\n"
},
{
"query": "Some super cougar about 62 yrs old who was kinda hot was giving me the looks and I didn’t know what to do. How would you try to hookup with an older older woman?\nHow to hookup with a hot grandma?",
"chosen": "Buy her some peanut brittle.\n",
"rejected": "Honestly\n\nHit on her like you would any other woman you are interested in. \n\nDon't use cheesy lines or ask her if her pool needs cleaning or some porn plot bullshit.\n\nTell her you'd like to take her out sometime. If she accepts, she's interested in hooking up. Because if you are significantly younger than her...she'll know right away this isn't a relationship thing but simply her chance at getting some younger D.\n\nBe confident and flat out tell her you'd like to take her out sometime.\n\nWorst case scenario is she is super flattered but not into it because of the age.\n"
},
{
"query": "I just wanna know the view males have on a flat stomachs , I've never had a flat stomach and I'm not sure if I ever will so I just wanna know how important it is to a guy. I'm not talking about a little bit of pudge I'm talking about the overweight kind, not obese but overweight.\nhow many of you actually care if a girl has a flat stomach?",
"chosen": "I don't. It's comforting to know my girl can eat a burger, drink a beer, and actually live a little. We both affectionately refer to our bellies as \"Happy Weight.\" Hers is almost non-existant, but she does that cute thing where she pinches it and thinks she is fat.\n",
"rejected": "I agree with what others are saying, but what also matters to me is that a girl wants to get healthier. This is just a personal preference for me, because I want to get healthier too. So if a girl is pudgy and doesn't care to eat better or lose weight, I probably wouldn't like her much. A girl who is pudgy but has goals to lose weight is one I would definitely like.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm a 20/m living in New York so on an average day I see several women I'd be very interested in getting to know when I'm out and about. I've managed to build up the courage to approach a few times and even gotten a handful of numbers/dates, but to be honest it can be quite difficult. \n**I'm just looking for advice from more experienced guys on how to get better at approaching women, getting their info, and setting up dates without getting discouraged**.\n\nTo be clear, I also do online dating and try to meet women through more traditional dating venues as well, so this is just to supplement those venues, not replace them.\n\nIn addition, I'm not looking for PUA style advice about running routines or creeping on women, and since this is /r/askmen I'm also not looking for the introverted ''DON'T EVER TALK TO WOMEN\" style advice either.\n\nThanks guys!\nGuys who are good at meeting women in public (the street, bookstores, parks, cafes, etc) how do you do it?",
"chosen": "But do you talk to random men on the street? Most people don't. Personally, I'd be really uncomfortable just going up to a random guy and having a conversation.\n",
"rejected": "I think it is a mental thing. I have always been able to approach women. The best advice I can give you is change your opinion of women. I view women like I view guys. I often forget they are different. You will be surprised how many hot women are single and want to be treated like a normal person.\n"
},
{
"query": "And do you ever look to that person for inspiration in terms of what to wear?\nIf you had to use a famous person to describe your body type - which famous person would have the most similar to yours?",
"chosen": "Today's Seth Rogen.\n",
"rejected": "Kevin Durant in his early years lol.\n\nTall and lanky lol. Except I'm not as tall as him. I'm 6'2, he's damn near 7'0 iirc.\n"
},
{
"query": "My ex and I have become close again this past month, and our old relationship issues seemed to be almost non existent. This week, though, he doesn't text back, and if he does respond it's a day later with only four or five words. I talked to him about it, he says there's no issue, but no change. What gives?\nMen, what can make you suddenly uninterested in someone?",
"chosen": "This is really late but I'm sharing anyway.\n\nSo I just broke up an LTR and was interested in this girl who works near me. I had a pre existing friendship so I already had an in and set about getting to know her more, and one day she gave me a lift home after work.\n\nAnd she was boring as fuck. Just chatted absolute shite the whole time.\n\nI had been distracted by the pretty face. This is a common problem with me and I'm trying to work on it.\n",
"rejected": "Besides smoking. If she can't seem to remember anything I tell her, I take it as lack of interest.\n"
}
] | 5
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000001430511474609375,
"logprob2": -8.25,
"signal": 8.249998569488525
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00002491474151611328,
"logprob2": -4.5,
"signal": 4.499975085258484
}
| -3.750023
| 6
|
1103
|
[
{
"query": "What are your opinions on shy, soft-spoken, and passive women under 30? Do you like them or do they annoy you? Would you prefer a woman who is more career-oriented, outspoken, strong, and independent?\nMen of Reddit, what do you think of shy, soft-spoken young women?",
"chosen": "Find them annoying. Speak up and stop being so timid.\n",
"rejected": "It depends on the person. I like a woman to be a little shy but I also would hope she has her own ideas, passions, and interests that she wants to follow. I'm looking for a partner, not a slave.\n"
},
{
"query": "I was recently dating a chick, but we stopped dating cause I found out she was planning on hooking up with someone else (we'd agree not to see anyone else). It was only after I lost the feelings for her/we broke up that I realised that I should've seen that coming long before it happened.\n\nWhat are some red flags you didn't realise until after you were done?\nLove makes you blind. Can you list some 'red flags' about an ex, that you only realised after you broke up?",
"chosen": "The fact that the suicidal ex who threatens to kill himself if she doesn't break up with my is still her \"best friend\". I mean, it was a red flag straight away, but I put up with it for some reason.\n",
"rejected": "I am a huge nerd.\n\nShe started playing DND with a group of guys without me.\n"
},
{
"query": "r/AskMen, how did you successfully negotiate a car dealership in giving you a car you wanted for the price you wanted?\nWhat are some tips to successfully negotiate prices when looking at buying a used car?",
"chosen": "First do your research and find out what the actual sale price of that make and model and trim level tends to be in your area. Don't go in blind and try to guess based on the sticker.\n\nThen, be prepared to leave. These people sold more cars yesterday than you'll buy in your life, they can tell when you're already committed to a specific car. They may play hardball on the price if they think you're desperate or in love with the car.\n\nWalk away if they're insisting on a too-high price and you'll be surprised how many \"talk to the boss\" and come back with a better deal.\n\nDon't lowball them though. They'll be even tougher if they're convinced you're not negotiating in good faith.\n",
"rejected": "Know the price you are willing to pay and be happy whether you strike a deal at that price or not.\n\nSo you've got a used Honda you're looking at and you've decided the most you'll pay for it is $10,000 out the door. If they sell it to you for $10,000 out the door, you leave happy because you bought the car at the price you want to pay. If they tell you that their best price is $10,500 out the door, you leave happy because you didn't pay more for a car than you wanted to.\n\nIn other words, **don't negotiate**. Make them an offer and let them either accept or decline it; then leave happy either way.\n"
},
{
"query": "There seems to be lot's of stories about guy's misinterpreting women's advances. Or stories about how guys feel hopeless with the opposite sex. \n\nWhat are some of your stories where everything went perfectly? How did you 'seduce' her? Was it luck, or a carefully orchestrated plan?\n\nPlease feel free to brag a bit, everyone needs to get props for when something goes well :)\nWhat is the smoothest thing you've ever done and had it work?",
"chosen": "Not me, but I watched my brother make this play and it's become a family legend.\n\nAt a bar with my brother, Dana. We finish shooting some pool and head over to the bar for another round. As we're waiting to get served, Dana starts chatting up this girl that was standing next to us. He just smiled at her and said \"Hi my name's Dana, what's your name?\" and immediately she lights up and responds \"Hey, my name is Dana too!\". My brother, without missing a beat and with balls of absolute steel, goes \"No way! I've never made out with another Dana before, want to make out?!\", smiles, and leans in a bit for a kiss. She went for it. He ended up going back to her place and I took a taxi home. Sometimes I really wish I had a girl's name too...\n",
"rejected": "This guy came over to watch Netflix and we were on two different couches and he stole the blanket I had and I tried to take it back. He pulled it back hard and pulled me on top of him. He was like \"fine, we can share.\" and sat up and pulled me next to him and put his arm around me. We ended up making out. \nI had no idea he even had the slightest interest in me.\nSo, as a female, this is the smoothest thing a guy has done.\n"
},
{
"query": "It's been happening for a couple of years now to me and starting to drive me nuts. \n\nI'm a fairly sociable person. Not too much into touching people (not more than accepted, at least for sure), or inquiring/revealing very personal info.\nMy friendliness gets mistaken for wanting the guy. What might I be doing wrong? How do you decide whether the girl's interested in you or only your friendship?",
"chosen": "Humblebrag?\n\nGuys almost always initiate things socially, romantically or otherwise. Someone doing the opposite is intriguing and I personally tend to pay more attention in a situation like that.\n\nIf you're attractive, I guess... get used to it? No real advice here.\n",
"rejected": "Your sociable and cute, right?\n\nWell most guys aren't used to pretty girls being sociable to them, so we accidentally assume.\n\nYou already seem to watch your body language so I'm unsure what other advice to give.\n\nIt's possible, and likely, that a number of guys will just assume you're \"more than just friendly\" regardless, and you'll have to deal with that.\n\nI default to \"she only wants friendship\" until proven otherwise, via physical contact or odd questions that I think only someone interested in me would ask.\n"
},
{
"query": "Bonus points if it's in Latin and sounds impressive but means something mundane\nWhat's your go to philosophical quote?",
"chosen": "No good deed goes unpunished.\n",
"rejected": "\"The reasonable man adapts himself to the conditions that surround him... The unreasonable man adapts surrounding conditions to himself... All progress depends on the unreasonable man.\"\nGeorge Bernard Shaw\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm starting my college career at 26. Almost finished with the first semester with straight A's! But, I'm significantly older than my peers...\n\nHas anyone gone back to get their formal education later on in life and found success? I feel like graduating at 30 will be weird.\nMen who got their degrees later on in life, how much success did you find?",
"chosen": "I went back to school when I was 32 to be a Radiology Technologist. Doing pretty great now. Good paying job in a field I really enjoy. \n\nIt wasn't too bad for me because even though I was in my 30s, I looked ten years younger. Still, people knew and I don't think it was detrimental at all. \n\nIf you need a change, or like me, never finished school in the first place it is never too late to go back.\n",
"rejected": "I am starting college at 27 going on 28 in October so we are in the same boat\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm a 24 year old single man that lived alone. Sometimes I want dome homemade cookies, so I make some! I don't like keeping a bunch of junk food around, so I keep a small amount and take the rest to work. Usually everything is a success and I get compliments. \n\n\nOutside of work is a different story. My friends and dad all make fun of me for baking. I find this odd, I see it as taking care of my own wants. \n\nI'm curious how other oven savvy gentlemen are perceived.\nMen, how often do you bake sweets and how is your baking activity received by others?",
"chosen": "My god, maybe I live in the last bastion of open and accepting society where people are allowed to do whatever they want. Cause I see a lot of posts like this and I wonder if they live in Crazytown or I do.\n\nI bake when I get the inclination (about once a month). I've been practicing pie for years, I would like to be able to make a damn good pie. Anyone can throw together some brownies or cookies, pie is an art form.\n",
"rejected": "I make the fuck out of a good cheesecake. I do little curly things with the chocolate on top too. Don't buy into the whole manliness thing, it's just a tool used by people to make themselves feel better about their cookieless existence. I took my cheesecake with curly things to the office and only one guy got uppity about it, until he tasted it. Have you considered offering cookies as a symbol of paternal peace?\n\nLike /u/petemorley said, there is a simple equation, and if that equation doesn't include getting in the way of others, the decision to act on it is extremely black and white. \n\nWant to do + can do = do.\n"
},
{
"query": "In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.\n\nI know it’s just a stereotype that men constantly want sex and women always turn it down. However, am I doing something wrong?\n\nI’m fine with a 2-3 times a week. We have needs.\nMen, how often do you want to have sex?",
"chosen": "maybe 1 once a month if they want to\n",
"rejected": "*In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.*\n\n*However, am I doing something wrong?*\n\nAre you initiating the sex, or are you just waiting for him to take the lead and when he doesn't you assume he doesn't want to have sex? It's quite possible he did want more sex but thought you didn't, so he didn't bother trying.\n\nLikewise, guys will sometimes avoid it if they're stressed, not feeling great, etc. Not necessarily because they don't want it, but because they're worried they won't be able to perform and it'll be very embarrassing.\n"
}
] | 1
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00008535385131835938,
"logprob2": -4.5,
"signal": 4.499914646148682
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000001430511474609375,
"logprob2": -7.75,
"signal": 7.749998569488525
}
| 3.250084
| 7
|
832
|
[
{
"query": "I'm almost middle aged so I've obviously bought a new car before. But, I have a modest budget now (~$30k) and there is sooooo much information out there that I can't figure out where to start.\n\nI have a few requirements. Good fuel economony. Good reliability. Decent towing capacity. All wheel drive. Prefer a compact SUV/crossover. That's it.\n\nFrick! Help a brother (from Canada) out!\nGuys, seriously... how do you buy a car?!?",
"chosen": "Okay, I would do all of the things here. But something else is to go to your local library and read the consumer reports for reliability info. When I bought my car I was going to get an Altima. Turns out after a couple years they basically turn into molten slag, but certain Kia models, Mazdas from certain years, Subarus, and the like all last until the end of time. So I got a soul.\n",
"rejected": "I see you want a new car, but once you find a make you like, look into ex fleet cars. \n\nA lot of businesses and govt agencies tien over cars every couple years. I bought myself an ex rental car for less than half the price it is new, and it still had 3 years warranty on it. \n\nNo stress motoring and I saved like 15 grand.\n"
},
{
"query": "I just got a gift card from work for that amount and was wondering what would be a good purchase for about that much money.\n\nSomething in the gadget category would be ideal.\n\nDisclaimer: Not a fan of Apple products.\nFellow gents, what would you buy for approximately $450?",
"chosen": "- New graphics card\n\n- New speakers\n\n- New monitor\n\n- Chromebook(s)\n\n- Mechanical keyboard\n\n- New desk\n\n- New chair (herman miller Aeron)\n\n- Tempur-Pedic mattress pad (nothing else compares, changed my life)\n\n*Note that you probably can't buy all the things on this list with $450\n",
"rejected": "You could get a pretty great point and shoot camera for that price.\n"
},
{
"query": "Root beer and wine. \nNo real flavor and no real body. It's like drinking water when you aren't particularly thirsty. Yet still refreshing. \n\nI may or may not be an alcoholic.\nWhat's your favorite non-traditional mixed drink?",
"chosen": "Cheap wine and gin.\n",
"rejected": "Bourbon and apple cider.\n"
},
{
"query": "No unusual circumstances, my girlfriend said I'm going to bed early - about an hour earlier than usual, 9pm instead of 10pm.\n\nI thought to myself - oh she must be tired, I'll be considerate and leave her be for a while to let her get some undisturbed sleep.\n\nUpon coming to bed she was quite angry with me as it turned out she wanted some together time - I didn't pick this up however to which she responded \"how long have we been living together?\" (a year is the answer...).\n\nSo I'm wondering, when did \"I'm going to bed\" become a hidden meaning for, '...and I want you to come too because I feel we need some connection time'?\nWhen your partner says 'I'm going to bed' earlier than usual - what do you think to do?",
"chosen": "My girlfriend goes to bed early? \"Sure babe, I'll keep it down. See you in the morning\"\n\nIf she wants something, she's got a Masters in engineering. She's smart enough to know how to let me know.\n\nI've never seen a healthy relationship where stuff like this happens. Let your girl know this behavior is **not** ok.\n",
"rejected": "Sounds like you have a lazy communicator on your hands. Unless you guys have a nightly ritual when you both go to bed, there is no way to accurately determine that she wanted you to be there.\n\n Having said all that, she brings up a potential problem. She said she feels you both need time together. In your opinion, how much time are you guys spending together where you both get to connect?\n"
},
{
"query": "Like action figures not sex toys. I'm a grown ass man who just spent money on Star Wars action figures. How weird are we talking here?\nIs it weird to play with toys as a man?",
"chosen": "Dude if it makes you happy who cares.\n",
"rejected": "Describe how you play with these toys.\n"
},
{
"query": "I have an interview with a 30 year service Vice-President at an insurance/ health benefit company. Looking for some recommendations on questions to ask of her closer to the end of the interview.\nWhat are some engaging interview questions that an interviewee can ask an Executive?",
"chosen": "\"walk through what I can expect a normal day to look like in this job\"\n",
"rejected": "\"If I were starting today, what is the biggest problem I could help you solve?\"\n"
},
{
"query": "I have a couple of acquaintances (not super close friends) that know a girl that is super cute. I can’t think of a way to meet her outside of an introduction, but I don’t want to seem like a creep. \n\nAny suggestion on how I can meet this person?\nWhat’s the best way to ask a friend to introduce you to an attractive girl they know?",
"chosen": "There's nothing more annoying in the world IMO than guys I know asking me 'Does she have any (single) friends?' about any girl I'm ever seen with, let alone was dating..?\n\nEven if she does, like they're going to instantly want anything to do with any of you slam hounds just because you asked me about her!?\n\nMost dudes are quite lame IME & too timid to do the right thing & find out for themselves.\n",
"rejected": "\"Hey will you introduce me to X?\"\n\nIf you want, add \"she is super cute. I can’t think of a way to meet her outside of an introduction, but I don’t want to seem like a creep.\"\n"
},
{
"query": "one item in particular is this blue short sleeve sweater I love when I go grocery shopping from club Monaco I cant find another one anywhere online anymore!. \n\nI feel like I need to just take her phone for ransom until she returns it\nwhat would you do if a girl keeps taking over your favourite shirts and sweater?",
"chosen": "\"Thats theft. I would never let a girl disrespect me like that. HUGE red flag. Run.\" - some redditor\n",
"rejected": "Just give her something else you own that you care less about.\n\nAll of my boyfriend's tshirts/ sweatshirts/ sweatpants are equally oversized and cozy. I like it because it's his, not because it's a *specific* piece of clothing. \n\nJust say something like \"Hey, I need x-piece-of-clothing back for something. You can take whatever one of these sweaters to wear from my stash.\"\n\nor if she's borrowing way too many things at once \"dude, I need clothes too. I love seeing you wearing my stuff, but can you just take a coupe of things so I can still clothe my body.\"\n"
},
{
"query": "I am too poor to buy a playstation or a gaming laptop. I have a microsoft surface 3. It's summer and I am bored, what are some good games I can play without a console?\nWhat are some good games I can play on my laptop?",
"chosen": "Faster Than Light. It's fantastic and doesn't require a lot of power. Head over to /r/ftlgame if you get frustrated.\n",
"rejected": "What kinds of games are you interested in? Here are some general suggestions:\n\n* Bejeweled 3\n\n* Portal / Portal 2\n\n* Half-Life 2\n\n* Terraria\n\n* Crayon Physics Deluxe (works really well with a stylus)\n\n* Super Hexagon (works with a keyboard, stylus, touchscreen, or controller)\n\n* Bastion\n\n* Braid\n\n* World of Goo\n\nMost or all of these games are extremely inexpensive due to the Steam sale (ends tomorrow). Personally, I recommend Bejeweled 3, Portal, and Portal 2.\n"
},
{
"query": "Not as in self-conscious, as in aware of whether you actually dress well or not.\nMEN. How conscious are you of your standard of personal grooming/how well you dress?",
"chosen": "I try not to look homeless, but I don't care much beyond that.\n",
"rejected": "I sort of follow the same philosophy in regards to getting dressed that I do when eating healthy. It's a lot easier to buy the right thing while shopping than choose the right thing once it's in your house. I make an effort so that I don't have to worry about the clothes I buy not matching then don't think about it again.\n\nGrooming is kind of hit an miss. I work a job in a remote location so I don't interact with people other than coworkers for weeks at a time. I try to do proper upkeep when I'm home but it's hard to get into the habit when it doesn't matter for such significant periods of time.\n"
},
{
"query": "In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.\n\nI know it’s just a stereotype that men constantly want sex and women always turn it down. However, am I doing something wrong?\n\nI’m fine with a 2-3 times a week. We have needs.\nMen, how often do you want to have sex?",
"chosen": "maybe 1 once a month if they want to\n",
"rejected": "*In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.*\n\n*However, am I doing something wrong?*\n\nAre you initiating the sex, or are you just waiting for him to take the lead and when he doesn't you assume he doesn't want to have sex? It's quite possible he did want more sex but thought you didn't, so he didn't bother trying.\n\nLikewise, guys will sometimes avoid it if they're stressed, not feeling great, etc. Not necessarily because they don't want it, but because they're worried they won't be able to perform and it'll be very embarrassing.\n"
}
] | 8
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00007534027099609375,
"logprob2": -7.75,
"signal": 7.749924659729004
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000001430511474609375,
"logprob2": -7.625,
"signal": 7.624998569488525
}
| -0.124926
| 2
|
1921
|
[
{
"query": "Having good conversations are something that's incredibly important to me.\n\nI've had on and off social anxiety for about 8 years, and although there's been many times where I feel like I can socialize and articulate amazingly, a bit of social anxiety is almost always present.\n\nLately I feel a \"blank buzzing\" in my head when I talk to people. I want to say something but I just don't know how to put what I want to say into words. I'm not sure if this is the anxiety or just a lack of social competency - maybe both.\n\nA lot of the times my words just comes out as a jumbled mess littered of \"um\"s and stuttering, or just a short response that doesn't really progress the conversation.\n\nI'm not sure how to improve my conversation and articulacy!\n\nIt sounds crazy but I thought maybe talking to myself in my car, like I'm doing a podcast on a random topic. \n\nI have a girlfriend and I think talking to her on the phone helps?\n\n&#x200B;\n\nPlease give me your suggestions. This is something that is very important to me!\nHow can I become more articulate?",
"chosen": "Read and write more\n",
"rejected": "Read more to develop a vocabulary. Educate yourself on topics that interest you and those that might come up in every day conversation. Then do what I do and stay up until 4am every day, theorizing about every single social interaction that you can possibly have so you can develop and practice what you're going to say in each of those scenarios. Makes people think you're smart.\n"
},
{
"query": "I can afford maybe $1,000 in travel departing from the U.S. on top of that but frugality is a passion! Live outside Boston and have only been to Montreal and England once each before 21. I just renewed my passport after a decade and have a sense of wanderlust if you will. Where would you go and what would you recommend doing there?\nWith only $1,000 in your pocket, where would you recommend a single man visit?",
"chosen": "A bank.\n\nYou'll be homeless before someone would so much as spit on you when you're thirsty. Bank the money, reinvest it in yourself. When you have 10k, you can take out 1k to do stuff.\n",
"rejected": "Washington DC. Everything is free and it’s very historical. You’ll have money to spare. Alternatively you can do a trip to Paris with airfare and hotel for around 650 ; check out travel zoo.\n"
},
{
"query": "I know sooooo many couples and literally none of them met in a way different to those two options. Either they met through similar friends or at work. Rarely through a shared hobby. \n\nBut I wonder how else someone could meet women. \n\nReally I have so many friends but for some reason theyre all either guys, in a relationship or very unattractive.\nMen of reddit, who didnt meet their girlfriend/wife through social circles or work; Where did it happen for you?",
"chosen": "Met through OKCupid.\n",
"rejected": "Valentinesday 2018 there was this profile on Instagram that was like \"Hey send me your bio, I'll upload it in my story which will be seen by 50000 people a day! Find your match!\" And I was just like wth, I did it, and some women send me a DM and one of them was someone who I fell in love with and am now still dating\n"
},
{
"query": "My 17 year old son took his life a week ago. All of his family and friends were shocked. I had been worried about him, though. I didn't think he was depressed, but he seemed much more indifferent to life. He never was a kid who seemed to have much emotion - not unhappy or happy. (He wasn't on the autism spectrum.) He was well-liked, he was ranked #1 in his class of almost 500, he was athletic, and he was attractive (per his peers; I always thought so, too, but I'm biased). He had such a high ACT score that he was able to complete abbreviated college applications, and he already was received early acceptance to some colleges to study engineering. Paying for college was not a concern.\n\nI'm not trying to brag. I'm trying to show that, on paper, he should feel good about himself, and confident about the future. But, he didn't/wasn't. He thought about the world and himself in black and white terms, and I truly think he thought he wasn't good enough. Even though everyone said he was the nicest, happiest kid they knew, I never thought he was comfortable in his own skin. He played a lot of video games in his free time, after school and sports. Video games seemed to be the only thing he truly cared about, and he did share with me that he wasn't looking forward to being an adult. He had his first job this summer, and he said he hated working.\n\nAlso: I did put him in therapy in middle school, because he wasn't eating. He said he thought he was fat; he has never been fat - he had a muscular build. He kept telling the therapist what he thought she wanted to hear, and she didn't see through it, so he stopped. His father was in his daily life, but they weren't close. He was closer to me than anyone, because I did see that he wasn't who everyone else thought. He has a younger sister and brother, and while he wasn't close to them, there were no issues. Friends liked him a lot, but they told me since he died that he never opened up to them. He really kept everything inside.\n\nI am trying to understand better how he might have been feeling inside, which led to him ending his life. Has anyone experienced something similar?\n\n(Sorry, I know this is a heavy, emotional topic, but I am a daily reader of posts here, and I have learned so much wonderful insight here.)\nFor those who felt \"empty\" as teenagers, how did you feel?",
"chosen": "You have no idea the toll of putting on an act like that takes on you. My act wasn't half as good and it just makes you miserable and fills you with hate about everyone and then when you try to open up everyone says that everything was great what changed and when you try to explain to them that everything sucked and you were just putting on an act for their benefit they get real defensive and it's the opposite of help at that point you either put the act back on or distance yourself from everyone and every thing and stop caring about anything, sounds like your son did the former, I did the latter. \n\nAs for why he felt he needed to put on the act in the first place and be perfect I cannot say, for me it was my parents but it's not a universal thing.\n",
"rejected": "I have. It's hard to describe.\n\nI actually very quite strongly to pretty much everything you've said about your son, although I don't think I view the world in black and white. For me, it was almost like a sense of detachment. Emptiness... not lonely, but aloneness, if that makes sense? I'm trying to think of an analogy. Imagine someone stood on the other side of a thick glass wall, trying to talk to you. It's almost like that, only instead of the sound being muffled, it's emotions.\n\nEverything seemed to slide off my shoulders. I wouldn't stress about exams, I wouldn't be terrified of an impending punishment, but neither would I be elated at winning anything. Finding motivation was, and is, pretty tough. I remember thinking a few times that I didn't have any real reason to live... not in a despairing way, though. More of an apathatic way. Kind of \"meh, can't be arsed with this any more\". Hiding feelings ends up coming naturally to teenagers, though. Most of what people show the world is just a front.\n\nI'm not sure that I've helped much, but that's the best I can describe it. I'm very sorry for your loss.\n"
},
{
"query": "You can answer in cup sizes if you want but comparisons to fruit work well too. Also if anybody came on here to get all preachy and tell me to stop worrying about what guys think tHaTs NoT wHy I aSkEd im just curious ok\nWhats your favorite boob size?",
"chosen": "My wife has C-D cups and i think they’re perfect so that’s my answer. Not real picky though, Bs are fine, Es are fine. Most boobs are good boobs\n",
"rejected": "Honeydew size.\n"
},
{
"query": "Recently my girlfriend told me she’s talking to a guy from another school and then proceeded to tell me how there’s nothing to be worried about. The thing is I am a very insecure person and although I trust her, I don’t trust this other guy. I never have met this guy, neither has she, and it just seems sketchy to me. I don’t want to control her but I also don’t want to feel like a fool if there is something going on between them. Any men ever experience something like this?\nHow should a man properly react to hearing that his girlfriend is talking to other men via social media?",
"chosen": "Hmmm. \n\nIt's hard to tell.\n\nI've been with my man 7 years, no other man has ever came close to how badly I still want him.\n\nThat being said, I game, and I encounter dudes on online gaming who I will add and talk to. I don't use social media so I can't say about the culture there.... but I will sometimes add them on twitch or let them follow my tumblr, so they see what I look like and vice versa (display avatars). \n\nIt's 100% platonic, and my man knows this. But I would understand completely if it made him uncomfortable. He's never said so, and never asked me to stop, but I would if he did. Because he is worth more than some guy I can run dungeons with. \n\nHowever, out of respect for my relationship I do have boundaries. I will never give my fb or number to a guy online. I will never talk to them over headset. I actually distance myself quite a lot, and they have to contact me first every time. I also don't hide them from him. I tell him what we talk about, he's welcome to read our exchanges if he's around when they happen, he also sometimes plays on my accounts, so he has full access to them. I get that's different with social media, but I'm just saying he's aware I have nothing to hide. \n\nThen again, I know plenty of people in online gaming cheating on their partners. \n\nThe only one who knows what your girlfriend is most likely to do... is you. (Although sometimes people surprise you..) so we can't really say.\n\nMy gut says it's weird.\nWhen you told her it made you uncomfortable, did she stop? Like I said, I would stop. A guy I'm never gonna meet isn't worth risking my relationship for. And I don't get any validation out of talking to them, so whatever.\n",
"rejected": "Idk man, ive been on all 3 ends of this. \n\nThe guy who finds his gf is talking to someone\n\nThe guy who is talking to someone of another gender online even tho I had a gf\n\nAnd the guy some woman with a boyfriend is talking to \n\nSometimes is escalates to something more, sometimes it doesn't. I wouldn't be too concerned until you see the signs of something sketch.\n"
},
{
"query": "I want to be sexy/flirty/cheeky over text with my new love interest, but I'm new to the world of texting. So I want to hear your stories :)\nWhat is the sexiest text message you have ever received?",
"chosen": "\"I found a sitter\"\n",
"rejected": "Me and a hookup had been talking about how eating mango can make one taste sweet during oral. The day efter I recieved a text saying: \"I'm eating mango hehe\" \n\nThat was pretty hot.\n"
},
{
"query": "Had a Great 3rd date just ONE week ago. But the girl has been \"extremely busy\" and had mid terms due today, short text responses. Well I called her tuesday night and she told me she'll call me tomorrow (yesterday)...never called. Our 4th date is tomorrow and I haven't heard from her.\n\nBy the way...she came up with that date during our 3Rd date.\n\nFour dates in a month. Maybe I'm moving too fast?\n\nDid she found someone new in a week? I have felt really needy but have not acted on it much. \n\nCliffs: - girl I'm dating is cold all of the sudden\n- great we have a movie date tomorrow\n- thinking about flaking and giving her some space\n-OP wouldn't want to meet up while she's cold and not missing him\n\nGirl use to initiate more when I didn't like her that much and even ask me on the first date and first phone call...so she is not shy.\nshould I flake in tomorrow's 4th date? Girl is acting really distant all of the sudden.",
"chosen": "No you shouldn't flake. There are very little reasons for flaking aside from emergencies. \n\nBetter yet call her and talk to her, communicate honestly with her. There is very little point in these games your trying to play. Go with the pace both of you are comfortable with not what false social norms dictate, and communicate with each other.\n",
"rejected": "Flakers gonna flake. Whether you do depends on whether you are. It's got nothing to do with her.\n"
},
{
"query": "I think this question is being misunderstood. I am asking for your own personal opinions...not a general trait that someone is looking to become. In your own personal and individual opinion....what is YOUR favorite trait in a woman that can determine your specific attraction to her. This is strictly for entertainment...I am not trying to change myself or anything like that.\nWhat is the most attractive trait that a woman can have that would trump all other aspects of her personality/looks/habits?",
"chosen": "Kindess. It sounds cheesy but it's true.\n",
"rejected": "I always appreciate a woman who's easy to talk to and keeps a conversation flowing naturally. I'm not a huge talker as is but it's even more dreadful when I have to carry 90% of the weight.\n"
},
{
"query": "My example: I'm 21, my older brother is 24. He's my best friend, without a doubt. I really look forward to and sometimes daydream about giving the toast at his wedding.\nDo any of you have a specific, non sexual thing that you daydream about?",
"chosen": "Holding hands with the girl I like.\n",
"rejected": "Living in Skyrim or Westeros. Not even as anyone important, just to be able to travel around and do cool shit.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm a 21 year old female. I am pretty inexperienced sexually. I have had ample opportunity to hook up with guys, but I've never gone all the way because I was never ready.\n\nI used to think that I wanted to wait for somebody I love, but at this point in my life, I'd prefer to just get it over with since I've heard from all of my friends that losing your virginity isn't really that big of a deal.\n\nI have a couple of guys in mind for this. I haven't hooked up with either of them in the past, but I get the feeling that they could probably have sex with me without puking everywhere.\n\nMy question is, how do I go about getting a guy to rail me? As much as I try, I can be sort of awkward around men because I get nervous. Also, I'm going to tell the guy that I'm a virgin, because I don't want him to have no idea and then get grossed out if I bleed or something. But is that going to make him think that I'll \"get attached\" or expect more of him than I actually do? I know guys don't really care for virgins, and the ones who do usually have some sort of weird fetish.\n\nHonestly I'm just super horny and I want to be able to sing that Lonely Island song without feeling like a liar. How can I make this happen?\nGentlemen, how can I get a guy to take my [21 F] virginity?",
"chosen": "Your question doesn't really sound like, \"how can I get a guy to fuck me\" as much as it is, \"how do I 'get over it' enough to let a guy fuck me\"\n\nWhich... Is tough. Guys will fuck you if you are very open about it (source: is a guy). But when you say you \"get awkward\" it makes me think you may not quite be ready. On short, it's not really the dudes that are your issue.\n\nAlso, If you're good to tell a guy you're a virgin, wait till you're damn near naked and ready to go. He won't turn back then.\n",
"rejected": "Buy condoms. Buy beer/liquor. \n\nInvite guy over to watch a movie.\n\nHave one shot or one beer (not more).\n\nSit close to guy.\n\nUndo pants. Touch dong with hand, pull out condom, hand to guy, climb on dong. \n\nDone.\n"
},
{
"query": "Like if every woman in the world woke up tomorrow and decided fuck it all I want is casual sex without any kind of dating or a relationship, would you be sad or pleased? Or if prostitution was like free and had no consequences.\nIf you could get sex without dating, would you want a relationship?",
"chosen": "Of course. Relationships are where human beings grow the most. \n\nSex without a connection is pretty monotonous. Like eating fast food at 2am while drunk\n",
"rejected": "I can get sex without dating and I want a relationship. \nIt gets boring and tiring. Having someone you actually care about and to cuddle with and stuff is much better.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm at the age (26) where most of my friends are getting engaged or married. However, quite a few are still single, and they seem to just go from one girl to the next without any problems. I'm not trying to have sex with every girl I can, but I do want to mingle, I just usually get rejected. To be completely honest, there's nothing fun about the entire process for me - whenever someone says he loves the \"thrill of the chase\", I'm like, \"You mean anxiety and depression?\" What do you enjoy about dating? What do you hate about it? How can I start to enjoy myself instead of feeling bogged down and discouraged by rejection?\nSingle men: do you find dating/being single fun or frustrating and depressing? How can I change my outlook?",
"chosen": "Rejections happens to all of us. I get rejected, my friends get rejected, you get rejected, your father used to get rejected. It would be weird if you didn't get rejected. Eventually you'll learn to get better with people in general, and that will lead to more dates.\n\nAnd when you're on the date, you shouldn't have a target like \"I'm gonna sleep with this girl\" or \"I'm gonna make her my girlfriend\". That will just make you paranoid and constantly think \"does she like me? What should I do to make her like me?\".\n\nInstead, focus on having fun. And if you have fun on the date, she can see that you're having a good time, and she'll like you even more.\n",
"rejected": "Stop caring so much and you might have some fun. That's the key for me. The less I give a fuck about what some chick at a bar thinks of me, the more fun I have.\n"
},
{
"query": "Compliments to MadameRenarde of AW. I just had to see this question here.\n\nI'll open with Saffron from *Firefly*.\nWhat attractive fictional characters would be a nightmare to date in real life?",
"chosen": "[deleted]\n",
"rejected": "Loki from Marvel cinematic universe. Ladies, he would kill you for thinking he would date or fuck a human. He tried to commit genocide on humanity simply because he's tiffed that he was adopted and his older brother will inherit their father's title and his brother likes us. That's the entirety of his motivation in Avengers. \"Wahhh, I failed at usurping my father's throne, patricide, and fratricide. I'm gonna arrange the wholesale slaughter of 6 billion sentient beings to make myself feel better because it will devastate my brother that I tried to kill.\"\n"
}
] | 6
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00003147125244140625,
"logprob2": -5.375,
"signal": 5.374968528747559
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000001430511474609375,
"logprob2": -6.375,
"signal": 6.374998569488525
}
| 1.00003
| 7
|
8469
|
[
{
"query": "I'm male and 19, and I've noticed that some younger girls I know through the child care program at my church (3rd-5th grade) have begun following me around while I work, and occasionally talking to me while blushing and trying not to giggle. They also spend a lot of time talking to my girlfriend, who also goes to our church but volunteers in a different child care room. What do I do? What have other guys done?\nDo younger girls ever have innocent crushes on you? How do you handle it?",
"chosen": "When I read this, I was thinking of 19 year old girls who crush on me... to whom I flirt back, but leave it there.\n\nWith actual children like that, just be a damn good role model. They will be more likely to emulate a male figure they \"like\" (at their age their infatuation isn't even anything remotely sexual, so chill out). Use this opportunity to model respectful and behavior and personal responsibility.\n",
"rejected": "Yeah, my tutoring students. All were high school aged, between 14-18. They would try to take our sessions off track by talking about personal stuff. I was happy to talk about college etc, but only in an academic sense, ie what to expect from classes etc. I never talked about drinking, partying or anything not applicable to our professional relationship. I just made sure I did all my tutoring at their homes ONLY if a parent was present, or in a public space like a library or coffeeshop. That was part of my conditions for tutoring, and it definitely put the parents minds at ease that I took it that seriously. \n\nI never accepted Facebook requests if they asked during our time working together, though I have after the fact, but only after they were 18 and in college. I do like keeping track of my ex-students, they are friends, seeing them grow as people in college is pretty cool. I was 22 when I started and did it for 2 years, so I think they related with me a lot more than if I had been a really old tutor. I'm really proud of them, most have gotten into top schools, and I am happy to have helped them achieve their goals.\n"
},
{
"query": "One guy from my best friend group told me I'm his go to for all his motorcycle issues and that I surprisingly know a lot a bout it. For some reason, that stuck with me\nWhat is one compliment one of your bro's has said to you that has stuck with you?",
"chosen": "“I know we don’t see each other a lot, but you’re one of the most, if not THE most, important person in my life. I value you more than you’ll ever know”. \n\nRoughly that...it’s not word for word. Blew me away.\n",
"rejected": "A friend told me I have good music taste. I appreciated that since listening to music, going to concerts, and blogging about music has become a pretty big part of my identity.\n"
},
{
"query": "I've never given a shit about my clothes. I want to now. And I have some spending money.\n\n--I'm 22\n--4th year college\n--live in SoCal\n--And I don't know where to buy clothes from besides walmart =<\nWhere to start with and how to grow a wardrobe?",
"chosen": "Def hit the mall or any place besides Walmart. Start with the must have..a nice pair of dark denim skinny jeans,the basic tees,flats as they go with jeans, dress..boots,falls and winter are coming and they are a must have! Remember when shopping to consider what you already have in your wardrobe..(by things you know you can pair with other items) Also clothes are about having fun, wear what you feel good in!! Don't over think it to much.. Google fashion trends and different styles,hope it helps.\n",
"rejected": "I guess they get some flak in the reddit community but fell free to check out /r/malefashionadvice. I think the sub is good enough in helping to build a basic wardrobe and to get some inspiration how to wear things.\n"
},
{
"query": "This is probably a common question so I apologise in advance but I need help. I recently became a bit more social and started hanging out with some old friends (guys). So far I'm getting texts from these \"friends\" that are a little uncomfortable to me. And I've had one \"friend\" touching me trying to get into me. I just said \"what are you doing\" and he stopped. These guys are all good at other times. But I can't help feeling like cutting them off and going back to being a loner just so I don't have to deal with rejecting them. What do I do? How to let these guys down gently without being a bitch? I've already told them I don't want any kind of fling with anyone. Ugh!\nHow do I make it clear that I'm not interested in sex with friends that are guys?",
"chosen": "If you're a girl, you've just discovered the unpleasant truth that even most guys who are just friends with you might just want to fuck you; there are too many guys like that in this world. Tell them to respect your boundaries or GTFO.\n\nIf you're a dude...frankly, I have no bloody clue what to say to this, since the the one gay friend I am close enough with to talk about that shit often jokes that sometimes all it takes to be attracted to a guy sexually is knowing that he's part of that small minority too. Gay dudes, especially in red states (my friend lives in Georgia) have a problem of availability.\n",
"rejected": "All you can do is be straight forward. Either they respect you or they do not.\n\nAs for the one touching you. I'd cut them out entirely.\n\nPlease do not group all guys into the same category and go back to being a loner. People need friends. Plus some of us guys are happy with platonic friendships with women. Nearly all of my close friends fall into this category and I'm not sure what I would do without them.\n"
},
{
"query": "What do you do differently when having sex with a FWB and someone you're in love with? And is there a way someone can tell when things may have shifted in a FWB from sex?\nHow is sex different between a FWB and someone you have romantic feelings for?",
"chosen": "fwb sex is basically masturbation with someones body. Like,.. instead of the hand..\n\nMade sense in my head, not sure if I'm conveying that right.\n",
"rejected": "With a FWB I don't feel bad when I get up immediately after sex, wash off and leave, with or without a word. Try doing that in a romantic relationship and things might go terribly bad. \n\nOh, and high fiving a good cum shot is always a plus, but I guess that *could* happen in either.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm having some trouble with this in my life right now. It's been a year since I graduated college and moved for a job, and I realize I don't have a single close female friend.\n\nI took some friends' advice and went out and made friends and started hobbies. But literally all of them seem to be totally male-dominated, or solitary. I've made a bunch of friends in the last year but they're literally all dudes.\n\nIt's not like I'm socially inept, I get along fine with people of both genders at work, I'm pretty fit, I have a good full-time job, my life is fairly put-together, my fashion sense is decent. I'm not super ugly, though I am a bit short (5'5'') so online dating is a crapshoot. In other words, it's not that I'm having trouble hooking up with girls I meet, it's that I have not yet met any girls in my hobbies.\n\nMy hobbies:\n-D&D\n-Shooting guns\n-Playing jazz piano\n-Playing jazz harmonica\n-Video games\n-Anime\n-Hunting\n-Painting miniatures\n-Coding games\n-Learning foreign languages\n-Camping\n\nI mean a lot of them seem like they'd be alright, like meeting girls at anime conventions, or going camping, but from my experience it's not very easy to \"have camping as a hobby and meet girls that way\", or things like that. I could attempt to meet girls in the shooting/RPGing/video-gaming/etc. communities, but they are scarce and I don't think my chances are good there.\n\nHonestly I'm not even trying to find romance directly, I'm just trying to meet friends with the hope that things will work out with friends of friends maybe (I dunno)\n\nI could try to get into hobbies with more girls. But I have tried this and disliked many of them. I dislike group hiking, I dislike sports, I dislike dancing. I don't particularly want to force myself to do something I hate so I can find a hook-up.\n\nI feel like this is not an uncommon thing. Surely some folks here have gone through this kind of things, where you're interested mostly in \"guy hobbies\" but want to find female friends? Any advice here?\nHow do you find female friends when all your hobbies are male-dominated?",
"chosen": "I'm female and would like to make new friends but have found it challenging. Anyway, I also like anime, painting, music, and languages. So let's chat lol\n",
"rejected": "Go to a language learning website or subreddit. It's supposedly \"just for languages\" but typically people pair off with opposite sex language partners. You can practice languages and make female friends.\n"
},
{
"query": "I've never been very good at receiving compliments. I tend to want to deflect attention away from myself if it involves compliments and never know exactly what to say. So, when a guy calls me beautiful for example all I can think to do is thank him, smile, and unfortunately blush a bit. Then I just try to steer the conversation in another direction.\n\nHow would you like a girl to respond to a compliment? I always feel awkward just saying \"thank you,\" but I don't know what else to say? Sometimes I'll pay the compliment back if it's appropriate, but then I feel like he might think I'm just saying it since he said it first.\nWhenever a guy compliments me all I can do is blush and say thank you. How would you like a girl to respond?",
"chosen": "Blushing and saying thank you is an awesome response.\n",
"rejected": "\"Thank you, that's so sweet! Can I take you to dinner tonight?\"\n"
},
{
"query": "I feel like this question comes up a lot for women (bin in the bathroom anyone?) but as a woman who lives alone, I'm curious as to what a man might notice in our houses that women don't necessarily think about.\nMen of reddit, what are some things you notice when visiting a woman's home for the first time?",
"chosen": "Cleanliness. \n\nIve seen some stomach turning stuff.\n",
"rejected": "How clean is her bathroom/toilet\n"
},
{
"query": "I have a card holder, but cash I just fold up, and sometimes that gets all screwed up in my pocket. I hate the clips on card holders especially when I don't have any cash on me. Just looking for ideas or products. Thanks!\nGuys who don't carry a wallet in their back pocket. How do you carry your cash?",
"chosen": "99.99% of the time i'm outside, i have my schoolbag, i have most of my money in it.\n\nThe 0.01% of the time is when i take out the trash.\n",
"rejected": "A sack with a giant $ sign on it, how else?\n"
},
{
"query": "In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.\n\nI know it’s just a stereotype that men constantly want sex and women always turn it down. However, am I doing something wrong?\n\nI’m fine with a 2-3 times a week. We have needs.\nMen, how often do you want to have sex?",
"chosen": "maybe 1 once a month if they want to\n",
"rejected": "*In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.*\n\n*However, am I doing something wrong?*\n\nAre you initiating the sex, or are you just waiting for him to take the lead and when he doesn't you assume he doesn't want to have sex? It's quite possible he did want more sex but thought you didn't, so he didn't bother trying.\n\nLikewise, guys will sometimes avoid it if they're stressed, not feeling great, etc. Not necessarily because they don't want it, but because they're worried they won't be able to perform and it'll be very embarrassing.\n"
},
{
"query": "I realize people have to have faith, love, and some blind trust when a partner has cheated. There’s always those residual feelings of hurt and anger. Curious as to, do you consciously make sure you don’t smile at someone to much, not talk too much about the new co-worker etc?\nWhat measures do you take to reassure your SO that you won’t cheat again?",
"chosen": "If you cheated once you can/will cheat again. It's that simple. There is no coming back, cheating in a relationship is the worst thing you can do, you ask for a person to close themselves off to all other people except you but you cant do the same?\n",
"rejected": "If one person goes ahead and breaks the trust by cheating, then the other person will be suspicious any time you are both not in the same room.\n\nFull access to phone, social media, being together all spare hours outside of work, no time separate with your own friends. \n\nWithout trust you kinda have to give up your own individual life to prove that you are not cheating again, and even that may not be enough. (not saying this from experience btw)\n"
},
{
"query": "By \"best luck\" I mean a combination of quality and quantity.\n\nI live in a smallish town and I find OKCupid gets me the best results. Tinder seems to work for me better when I travel to larger populated areas. PlentyOfFish I find to be just awful.\n\nWhat are your experiences? Do you find certain apps/cites work better in certain kinds of areas?\nFor those of you who use dating sites, which dating sites do you find you have the best luck with?",
"chosen": "I've always had a decent amount of success with OK Cupid. I met my last serious girlfriend on there and things were great. The only problem was we were doomed from the start do to her job as she was only going to be here for a year. We met six months into her year. Other than that I find it does a great job as long as you're mostly honest on there.\n",
"rejected": "Surprisingly, Tinder has netted me the most dates. I think it's because on other sites like OKCupid, I have to put in my short height... which is instant rejection from 90% of women (yes, literally 90%, I've done little field tests on this). But on Tinder, I can banter with them and meet them without revealing my height till the minute we see each other. Even if it is a turn-off to them, hopefully my personality has a chance to make up for it.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm bi and I live for the moment when you tell a straight guy about your gayness, most of the times they're completely cool about it, but sometimes, you see that mini freakout in their eyes.\n\nWorst case scenario they ask you for a threesome.\nGay men of /r/AskMen, what's the funniest/worst/weirdest reaction a straight guy had when you said you were gay?",
"chosen": "Not a specific incident but if I had a dime for every time a straight guy said something along the lines of \"it's cool, just don't hit on me\" and then a moment later follows with \"but you think I'm hot, right?\"\n\nWell, I'd have quite a few dimes.\n",
"rejected": "Not exactly a response to them being gay but funny/cringey all the same.\n\nWe were out at a gay club with my friend Alan, whos a bit of a social idiot. He was chatting to two chubby camp fat guys when he asked \"i know your gay, but why do you have to talk like that?\".\n The response of \"we are deaf\" was so awkward i felt time stop.\n"
},
{
"query": "The classic *\"asking for a friend\"* kinda deal. All of my past girlfriends had something going which made sex not happen ever for us (I'm 26 at this point). That combined with the constant messages sent by my most immediate environment (men are predators and they way they approach sex is evil), makes me unable to feel like I'm desirable as a sexual being.\n\nApart from an enthusiastic and communicative partner, what are some things one might do/know/notice which may justify to oneself being a heterosexual man?\nHow does a man with no positive sexual experiences ever hope to feel like his sexuality is desired?",
"chosen": "Have you tried asking your ex's why they were reluctant to engage sexually with you? Sex is a two way street, so surely they must have the other half of the answer.\n",
"rejected": "I skimmed all the answers and I didn't see many with my initial advice for you. My answer to your question would to become partners with rejection before you become life partners with anyone. If you can't start with women then do it somewhere else but get rejected everyday (getting a sales job wouldn't hurt.) \n\nBut once you get over the fear of rejection is the same moment your confidence will grow and you will start being more attractive. All the other advice is good too, working on yourself, hobbies other than video games, grooming etc.\n\nI've had many girlfriends, short and long term now. But it was only after facing an ocean of rejection and having that ahha moment that it doesn't matter that it started to be easy to meet people who were interested in me.\n"
}
] | 9
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000001430511474609375,
"logprob2": -6.125,
"signal": 6.124998569488525
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00023174285888671875,
"logprob2": -4.5,
"signal": 4.499768257141113
}
| -1.62523
| 4
|
8160
|
[
{
"query": "Mostly, the young guys wrap a towel around their waist when going to & from the showers. Mostly, the older guys don't cover up. Why the disparity?\nWhy the generational disparity in covering up in the locker room at the gym?",
"chosen": "I’m only 34 so i’m young but still older than a lot of people at the gym I go to. I lost my shame when I was in the Army. It’s a locker room, you’re gonna see some dicks swinging around.\n",
"rejected": "Pretty simple: the amount of fucks you have to give is inversely proportional to your age. It's why you often hear stories of old folks doing the weirdest, craziest shit.\n"
},
{
"query": "I just sneezed while taking a piss and got really fucking upset about it.\nWhat small thing irrationally pisses you off?",
"chosen": "People who do not follow the line marking when turning at intersections, and come into my lane. You don't cross the dotted line on straight roads, why do you have to do it at an intersection?\n",
"rejected": "People that don't clear the timer after taking something out of the microwave. We're in a society.\n"
},
{
"query": "Tonight i was running full speed from my car in the pouring rain and slipped and fell. Flew full speed down a flight of stairs headin to my place and landed on my lil propane bbq grill. Got a lump on my back, cut my shins, finger was bleedin good and bashed my shoulder and lower back in the tumble down.\nWhat's something dumb you've done recently?",
"chosen": "I ate two KFC sandwiches, followed by a bunch of bread buns that were on sale...then went to bed. Sayonara, fitness goals.\n",
"rejected": "All you can eat buffet. I ate all I could. WTF was the point in going to the gym these past few days. I mean it was one time thing but I really went overboard.\n\nI guess I just have to go twice as hard in the gym.\n"
},
{
"query": "As in insomniac I've always wondered this. What's considered a normal bedtime? It's currently 2:30am where i am right now, and I'm struggling to fall asleep. But even sometimes I don't try to go to sleep till 12:30, or 1. How about you guys?\nWhat time do you guys normally go to bed?",
"chosen": "Between 10:30pm to midnight.\n",
"rejected": "I shoot for 10. Usually ends up being 11 or 12 because I get on a roll with my side hustle\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm male and 19, and I've noticed that some younger girls I know through the child care program at my church (3rd-5th grade) have begun following me around while I work, and occasionally talking to me while blushing and trying not to giggle. They also spend a lot of time talking to my girlfriend, who also goes to our church but volunteers in a different child care room. What do I do? What have other guys done?\nDo younger girls ever have innocent crushes on you? How do you handle it?",
"chosen": "I'm curious how they react to your girlfriend, because if they liked you more than they should this would probably be negative.\n\nIn general, I wouldn't do anything beyond the ordinary, unless they went there first. Don't lead them on, but don't be too harsh either (You don't want them to grow fonder, but you also don't want to break their hearts).\n",
"rejected": "Yeah, my tutoring students. All were high school aged, between 14-18. They would try to take our sessions off track by talking about personal stuff. I was happy to talk about college etc, but only in an academic sense, ie what to expect from classes etc. I never talked about drinking, partying or anything not applicable to our professional relationship. I just made sure I did all my tutoring at their homes ONLY if a parent was present, or in a public space like a library or coffeeshop. That was part of my conditions for tutoring, and it definitely put the parents minds at ease that I took it that seriously. \n\nI never accepted Facebook requests if they asked during our time working together, though I have after the fact, but only after they were 18 and in college. I do like keeping track of my ex-students, they are friends, seeing them grow as people in college is pretty cool. I was 22 when I started and did it for 2 years, so I think they related with me a lot more than if I had been a really old tutor. I'm really proud of them, most have gotten into top schools, and I am happy to have helped them achieve their goals.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm taking graphic design as an elective for my business program. The professor formed the groups based on seating arrangement and I got set with 3 girls. \n\nA \"nice guy\" in my class wants to trade groups with me. The professor said its fine if everyone agrees (group members). His entire group agreed, I said I don't care, but the 3 girls in my group said no. He kept trying to convince them saying he was a nice guy and would do all the work, how i looked liked a lazy douchbag. I immediately changed my vote to no just to spite him. The girls still said no.\n\nLater on during our first group meeting I found out one of them had done a group project with him, and he didn't do any work. Just kept hitting on her and the other girl in the group. Then tried to blackmail her by holding the flash drive with the project on it hostage for a date. She said she would go on a date with him but never did. \n\nLast Friday I started getting anonymous e-mails telling me to drop the class or else I would be at the receiving end of an ass whooping.\nMost of us have probably heard stories about girls getting harassed by nice guys, but have YOU ever been harassed by a nice guy (or girl)?",
"chosen": "It's a story on the Internet. Just take it in for what it is...\n",
"rejected": "I've never really encountered that kind of nice guy, the worst I really saw was during college, one of my 'friends' at the time was trying to cosy up with a girl I was dating, she wasn't interested in him but pushed in on the basis of them being 'friends'. I told him we'd been going out a few times and his reply? \"Fuck it, I'm going to try harder now\". He of course failed badly. \n\nActually looking back on it i'm not sure why I was friends with this guy.\n"
},
{
"query": "I won a butler bet against him so tonight we're going out to bars and he's wearing a tuxedo, white gloves etc... he has to do anything I say as long as its legal.\nMy friend is my personal butler tonight for 2 hours, what should I make him do?",
"chosen": "Tell us more about your friend so we can maximize the torture.\n",
"rejected": "A shoeshine while you are seated at a barstool would be nice. Also, he should sample every drink you order, to make sure it's acceptable for your consumption/not poisoned. He should accompany you to the restroom and hold up a cloth as a modesty curtain while you are at the urinal. He should also have paper towels ready for you to dry your hands after washing them.\n"
},
{
"query": "Let's say you start dating this girl, and you're getting closer to one another. You start asking about personal relationships and family after a while, and she discloses to you that she was severely physically (not sexually, I know that would be a hard thing for anyone to swallow) abused growing up. Would you run for the hills, or...what?\nIs a history of abuse a turn-off/make-or-break for you?",
"chosen": "Most all of us have some shit in our past that we don't care for.\n\nI say so long as it's not affecting the person they are today, I wouldn't worry.\n",
"rejected": "It wouldn't make a difference to me. *Her behavior* decides if I want to stay or go, not her history.\n"
},
{
"query": "Apologies if I cross posted incorrectly. The answers on AskWomen had me so intrigued that I really wanted to see what you guys had to say!\n[X-post/askwomen] What's something you probably shouldn't find attractive, but do?",
"chosen": "Kind of ashamed of this, but I'm very turned on by women who drink a lot. I don't even drink alcohol, but a woman who loves getting shitfaced all the time totally does it for me. I find it really sexy, and I have no idea why.\n",
"rejected": "Butts. I mean, people literally shit out of them. But there's just something about them\n"
},
{
"query": "Met an amazing woman at a bar last night and we talked for hours. I got her phone number but am not sure how I hit her up or what I should say to get the conversation started.\nGuys, When and how do I properly text a woman who gave me her number at a bar?",
"chosen": "Don't play games. If you liked her, text her that.\n\n\"Hey I really enjoyed last night! I would really love to grab a cup of coffee or lunch when you are free, let me know what works for you!\"\n",
"rejected": "Hey, it's DamianDaws from last night. How are you doing today?\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm 27 and I noticed that had this familiar feeling toward a friend that is a little older than me. I wasn't sure what it was, but then I realized this is how I felt when I developed a crush on a girl back in middle or high school. \n\nIt isn't the same feeling as when I want to date someone. It's hard to explain, but I just sort of generally like her a lot. The novelty of this is kind of funny to me, since I thought I was too old to have a true crush on someone. So I was wondering if anyone else that thinks their too old has ever had a surprise crush.\nGuys in your late 20's and older, do you ever develop a crush on someone, like when you were in high school?",
"chosen": "Yes, but it's nowhere near as overwhelming. I'm able to recognize it for what it is, and enjoy the positive sensations from seeing her without feeling like I need to do anything about it.\n",
"rejected": "Oh hell ya. I'm 40 and still get crushes on certain people.\n\nOnly difference is, you're (hopefully) mature enough to recognize it as a simple crush and not a sign from God that you and your crush are destined to be together.\n"
},
{
"query": "I have tried the nightclub scene and it simply isn't for me. It's all extremely elitist bullshit there and I don't fit in there.\nWhere is the best place to pick up other than nightclubs?",
"chosen": "Tinder/OK Cupid?\n",
"rejected": "Chili's has it's own To Go entrance and parking spaces. One of the best places to pick up from. I recommend the triple dipper appetizer. It's a meal on its own!\n"
},
{
"query": "My female coworkers - there aren't many - and I have been subject to a number of rumors and gossip about our sex lives, all spread and perpetuated by the young guys (mid-twenties to early-thirties) in the office. Like, if we go to a party on a Friday night, everyone in the office knows what may or may not have happened by Monday afternoon. \n\nWe women, on the other hand, are at a loss: We couldn't care less about our male counterparts' sex lives, let alone talk about it with our coworkers. Women tend to get a bad rap for being gossipers, but this seems to break the mold. Are we in a unique situation, or is this a common trend?\nAt my workplace, contrary to office stereotypes, it's the men who love to spread gossip and rumors about coworkers' sex lives. What gives?",
"chosen": "I never quite believed the \"women love gossip\" thing.\n\nI'm a man and I love gossip as well. That doesn't mean I spread rumors or talk badly about people behind their backs... but you can be sure than when I'm bored at work I love hearing about who got shitfaced last night, or who got laid last weekend.\n\nPeople discussing people is just something everybody does.\n",
"rejected": "I don't understand. You are complaining about men gossiping about women, but how do you know about this if you are not part of the gossip?\n"
},
{
"query": "I few months ago I watched an episode of Family Guy and Lois sent a text saying something like: \"Women leave yoga mats in their cars to look like 'a person who does yoga' even though they rarely ever do\"\n\nI'm thinking maybe a gym membership key chain? But that probably applies to women too\nWhat is the male equivalent to some women leaving yoga mats in their cars to look like they do yoga?",
"chosen": "I keep a Magnum condom in my wallet so I can \"accidentally\" drop it at strategic moments.\n",
"rejected": "Salt life bumper sticker\n"
},
{
"query": "In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.\n\nI know it’s just a stereotype that men constantly want sex and women always turn it down. However, am I doing something wrong?\n\nI’m fine with a 2-3 times a week. We have needs.\nMen, how often do you want to have sex?",
"chosen": "maybe 1 once a month if they want to\n",
"rejected": "*In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.*\n\n*However, am I doing something wrong?*\n\nAre you initiating the sex, or are you just waiting for him to take the lead and when he doesn't you assume he doesn't want to have sex? It's quite possible he did want more sex but thought you didn't, so he didn't bother trying.\n\nLikewise, guys will sometimes avoid it if they're stressed, not feeling great, etc. Not necessarily because they don't want it, but because they're worried they won't be able to perform and it'll be very embarrassing.\n"
}
] | 11
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000006318092346191406,
"logprob2": -5.5,
"signal": 5.499993681907654
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000001430511474609375,
"logprob2": -5.375,
"signal": 5.374998569488525
}
| -0.124995
| 3
|
767
|
[
{
"query": "To specify, the original star wars movies (not the prequels or the new sequel), first three Indiana Jones and LOTR. \n\n**Just the movies, nothing else**\nStar Wars, the Lord of the Rings or Indiana Jones. What's the best trilogy?",
"chosen": "I'm going to rule out Indiana Jones, because it's more \"a set of three movies\" than it is a trilogy that tells an extended story arc. Individually, they are great movies (well...2 of them are), though.\n\nStar Wars has the advantage of being written as a screenplay and not based on really dense source material. If you hadn't read the books, LotR is pretty hard to digest (who the heck is this character and why do I care about them? Oh crap here's another character...what the hell is that character's name?) BUT the visuals in those movies are fantastic. At the end of the day though, there are a lot of side stories of characters you barely know.\n\nI think Star Wars is the most relatable storyline, was the most groundbreaking, and is more a part of the general consciousness than the other 2 choices. \n\nThe answer is Star Wars.\n",
"rejected": "Lord of the Rings, for sure. Absolutely epic in the best way.\n\n(We won't talk about The Hobbit).\n"
},
{
"query": "So, long story short....I have been seeing my gf for a couple of months and things are going well. However, she has some eccentric tastes in the bedroom. One in particular kind of made me feel weird...she cut a hole in a sheet and asked me to hold it while she performed oral. I can't help but think she has done this before in a different context. \n\nShould I be concerned she is into glory holes? I just get creeped out thinking she \"possibly\" has done this in a public place.\nEver Get Creeped Out by A Sexual Request from Partner?",
"chosen": "Lol. Girl has kink, guy worried she's done it with someone else.\n\nYou guys will never cease to make me laugh.\n",
"rejected": "Yeah. \"If you want sex, just take it. Be a man and take what you want.\"\n\nCreepy rapey vibe to that. I want sex with a girl who is really into having sex with me. Not basically forcing myself on her. Not into it, not gonna do it.\n"
},
{
"query": "Got a boy that I can see following a path of being on the permanent receiving end of life’s bullshit when it comes to bullying. I want to put him in something that will no bullshit throw him in the middle of a world of pain but at least give him the confidence and tools to better stand up to life. \n\nPlease no “turn the other cheek rhetoric” as that ship has sailed \n\nI’m leaning towards a mixed martial arts class or straight up boxing club? He needs to learn quickly how to take a punch and give one back when the time comes\nWhat’s the best martial arts to put a teenage boy in so that he learns quickly how to stand up for himself?",
"chosen": "I was exaggerating a little bit. you obviously do, but if you take someone to the floor, it doesn't matter.\n",
"rejected": "Boxing is great but I would first start with Brazilian JJ as he will learn moves faster to defend himself. As he gets stronger throw in boxing as that just has a cool factor to aid in self confidence along with the obvious benefits. My husband and 3 boys have practiced both along with Mauy Thai. They are all kind until it’s time not to be. Then their confidence they exude just makes the aggressors back down before any hands are thrown.\n"
},
{
"query": "Assuming it's the same exact amount of food and they have the same ingredients.\nWould you rather have 2 burritos or 4 tacos?",
"chosen": "Dude, your burrito to taco ratio is off. If this poll is gonna be competitive, it's gotta be at least 1:4.\n",
"rejected": "I'll take one burrito and two tacos.\n"
},
{
"query": "So, when I was a senior in HS, I started dating a girl who was a sophomore( I was 17/18 and she was 16) and it worked out pretty well. We continued on from HS into college and know I'm a sophomore and she's a senior. I'm going to turn 20 and was wondering, is this relationship considered common/fine? I always hear about creepy guys in their 20's going after HS girls and I don't want to be lumped into that category.\nWhat are your thoughts on continuing a relationship from HS into college?",
"chosen": "You were dating her when you were both in HS so it isn’t much of a problem in my eyes, also, you aren’t going after her if she is already yours. You are only 2 years apart and that isn’t that much.\n",
"rejected": "You're less than 2 years older than her, there is nothing creepy about that, when people talk about people in their 20s going after highschool girls, they're thinking about 22+ year olds going after 16-17 year olds.\n"
},
{
"query": "I generally don't seem to have the bubbly cute personality that a lot of people may have. People have told me that I am quite monotone, pretty quiet, always lost in thought and have a more \"intimidating\" (I have no idea what this one means) demenor\n\nOthers say that they find me mysterious and it's sexy or w/e\n\nDo you find yourself drawn to this type of personality? I never imagine I have people being attracted to me when I don't really draw attention\nWhat are your opinions on girls who are not naturally bubbly,super friendly or talkative.",
"chosen": "Super friendly and talkative can be very intimidating to introverts.\n",
"rejected": "I definitely think out-going women have an advantage over quieter women who are more restrained in social situations, although I think it's less of an issue of them being more or less desirable and more of an issue of practicality.\n\nMost guys don't ask out on a date every woman they'd be interested in going on a date with. If you want a guy to ask you out or make moves, you're generally going to have to do something to show that you're interested (how obvious you have to be depends on the guy and how much experience he has, as well as how obvious the women he has experience with were). This is a fact that you as a woman have to deal with in much the same way that we men have to deal with the fact that it's generally on us to make the moves.\n\nBeing quiet, monotone, and aloof (\"lost in thought\") simply makes it harder to communicate your interest. It's not impossible, but it makes it less likely that you're communicating your interest effectively.\n"
},
{
"query": "After going through my LinkedIn profile and seeing a bunch of Harvard, Wharton and Oxford grads running successful startups, I'm just wondering what separates you from guys like me... guys on the middle rung, who went to the state school, smoked pot, drank beer, and half ass most things in life, but don't necessarily have a bad life.\nWildly successful and ambitious men of Reddit, what gave you that drive and what is your secret?",
"chosen": "I went to a state university and bought a house at age 25. It's all about making sure that your degree is an investment in your career and not just a four year waste of time and money.\n\nThe tech startup guys are able to tolerate incredible risk (most startups fail) and work long hours for little pay at the beginning.\n\nYou don't need to do that to be moderately successful, they're just playing a high risk, high reward game.\n",
"rejected": "While you were drinking beer, smoking pot, and half assing things, I was studying, thinking of how to achieve my goals, and being an entire ass at what I was doing.\n"
},
{
"query": "I’m going on my first date tomorrow and I’d like to make sure she has a good time, but I feel like I’ll bore her. What are some conversation starters/things I can do to make this a fun and engaging date?\nHow do I keep a girl interested while on a date?",
"chosen": "Ask her questions and engage thoughtfully on her answers.\n",
"rejected": "Flash lots of money around and talk about yourself nonstop.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm posting this here because I don't want feminist bullshit overreactions. I just want to hear how random men feel about this. I've been with this guy for over 7 years, and our relationship is good..... At first glance.\n\nHe's kind and sweet most of the time, and we aren't that intimate physically. He works late and we see each other every day, and spend weekends together. On weekends he expects sex and there are some things he does that are very concerning. \n\nI don't take birth control. It makes me nauseated and I'd rather not take a hormone pill every day. I prefer to use condoms. He hates condoms and literally tries to make me feel like subhuman garbage if I won't have unprotected sex with him.\n\nI have low self esteem and I guess I'm bad at saying no to people. And let's face it: unprotected sex does feel really good. But I'm really not comfortable with this for every sexual encounter. I really, really don't want an unplanned pregnancy and the prospect terrifies me. But he can't seem to understand why I'm not okay with raw sex every time. He stares at me like I'm from another planet when I say I'm scared of pregnancy and want to be safe.\n\nSometimes in the bedroom we do foreplay and he starts prodding at me, trying to stick it in: it's a huge turn off for me. But it seems like the only thing that turns him on. It's all he wants to do. I say ten times \"will you stop trying to stick your raw dick in me\" (in nicer terms) and he either ignores me or acts like I'm being a dick.\n\nHe gets enraged when I ask to use a condom during a sexual encounter. Tonight I suggested we use one and the mood immediately went sour. He's very, very accusing and says things like \"why would you do this to me\" and \"what's wrong with you, you're crazy\"\n\nAnd tonight (and many nights before) the encounter ended with no sex. He got all pissed off, told me I didn't love him, said a bunch of mean shit, and told me to go home.\n\nI guess the only reason I put up with it is because I have horrible self-esteem. To pull this the night before Easter? My mother was also in a car accident yesterday. I have odd emotional problems and at this .moment I would like to hurt him. I know how wrong this is, but i want to hear the opinion of random strange men.\n\nHe claims \"almost nobody uses condoms\" and that I'm really paranoid and borderline crazy for wanting to use them. He knows how uncomfortable raw sex makes me, but doesn't seem to give a fuck.\n\nI know the obvious solution here, but it's a lot easier said than done after 7 years. And I imagine if you have a fetish for raw sex then it could be frustrating to be denied. But still, he treats me like a subhuman when I refuse and it makes me sick.\n\nIt's odd because he's usually very mild mannered and kind. He doesn't have a harsh personality. But he turns into a complete scumbag about this one thing. I guess that means unprotected sex is really important to him, even if I'm not okay with it.\n\nWhat does this random sample of men think of this? Be crude, be brutally honest, I don't care.\nLong time boyfriend tries to guilt me into unprotected sex. Help?",
"chosen": "The only way that this ends well for you, at all, is if you leave him. Being single does not equal being alone. I'm single and not lonely. Having a boyfriend shouldn't be your big goal in life. There is more to it than that. \n\nAnyways, just like everyone here has said, you're going to be miserable until you leave. I promise.\n",
"rejected": "He's never going to give up. And from what I understand by what you've typed he doesn't like to get refused. Get out of the relationship. It sounds unhealthy, and in my opinion he's going to start getting more aggressive.\n"
},
{
"query": "I lost my 13 year old best friend (cat) whom i would literally sleep with everyday. She passed away a year ago and now i got a Viszla to make up for it. He passed away and now i wanna get another pet but, losing them FEELS like losing a family member or a friend. It fucking torments, but at the same time..\n\nWaking up to animals licking your face and cuddling you, appreciating you when you come home, i miss being loved. Especially in this cold cruel heartless world, my babies ... I don’t know what to do. I can’t live without them, but i also can’t afford losing any more of my babies. 😭\nHow do you deal with the loss of animals? I feel so weak, so naked, loss of words without my best friends.",
"chosen": "Remember, they're not there for all of your life, but you're there for all of theirs. They love you for every minute of it.\n",
"rejected": "Being a pet sitter helped fill the ache when I couldn’t have pets. Is that something that might interest you? You can offer your services to friends, family, and neighbors.\n"
},
{
"query": "If the rationale for your judgement is not self-evident, please explain it then.\nWhat are the most annoying statements/phrases/questions that girls drop during dates?",
"chosen": "talking about \"travelling\" as if its a substitute for a personality.\n\nif you joined the shaolin monks or some remote tribe and have an amazing story im all ears, biut women so often think because they \"travel\" that makes them really exciting and interesting.\n\nit doesn't \"Travelling\" is what dull people do thinking it makes them interesting, interesting people make anything interesting\n",
"rejected": "I really hate the, \"So where do you see yourself in five years?\" question. Bitch, I don't know what I'm having for dinner, don't make me come up with some bullshit homework slop of an answer.\n"
},
{
"query": "Mine is either shutting my thumb in a car door or getting hit in the nuts with a lacrosse ball no cup.\nWhat is the worst pain you ever experienced?",
"chosen": "I once got hit with an illegal spinal lock when i wrestled in high school. I felt a sharp pain through my entire body that made me scream out loud. The ref stopped the match and DQ’d my opponent, as I laid on the ground for a few moments, not daring to move, because the entire right side of my body felt like it had been dipped in ice water. I was completely fine physically only a few seconds later: but for a very brief moment I was sure that I was paralyzed. It was horrifying.\n",
"rejected": "Ice Hockey/Goalie\n\nSlap shot from the circle deflected into my sack. \n\n\nWear your cup\n"
},
{
"query": "Inverse of the current top post because I'm currently abroad and pretty curious now.\nMen of Reddit who travel, what is the best, underrated place to go? Why?",
"chosen": "My GF and I went to Charleston SC last year and had a blast. Going back in a few weeks!\n",
"rejected": "Galicia! Not even close to being the Spain of the stereotypes. Bagpipes and Celtic ruins and delicious octopus meals. Santiago de Compostela is the best.\n"
},
{
"query": "My husband is hesitant to consider this new job opportunity because he believes the commute time is too long. I don't understand his rational and think it would be shortsighted to pass up a potentially great career move simply because he doesn't want to be in the car for a few more minutes each day. I'm curious to see how others feel in terms of their threshold for drive time. Just so you have the full picture, his current commute one-way is 17 minutes/10 miles and the prospective one would be 21 minutes/14 miles.\nWhat is your idea of a \"reasonable\" commute time to work?",
"chosen": "As someone in a big city, under 30 minutes sounds like a dream.\n",
"rejected": "Even though I reverse commuted before, 55 minutes one way killed my poor wallet. I did love the prayer time and blasting remixes at 8 am. I love near the expressway now so it takes about 40 minutes for me to get downtown. And the second you see the skyline never gets old.\n"
},
{
"query": "I've been misunderstanded at the off ice latley, please advice.\nHow to avoid being a crepe around women?",
"chosen": "This is accurate.\n",
"rejected": "Not sure if you're into some of the girls in your office or want to date them, but if so be aware. These days I think you have to formally ask them if it's ok if you can ask them out. If they say no, say ok sorry for bothering you and walk away.\n"
},
{
"query": "In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.\n\nI know it’s just a stereotype that men constantly want sex and women always turn it down. However, am I doing something wrong?\n\nI’m fine with a 2-3 times a week. We have needs.\nMen, how often do you want to have sex?",
"chosen": "maybe 1 once a month if they want to\n",
"rejected": "*In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.*\n\n*However, am I doing something wrong?*\n\nAre you initiating the sex, or are you just waiting for him to take the lead and when he doesn't you assume he doesn't want to have sex? It's quite possible he did want more sex but thought you didn't, so he didn't bother trying.\n\nLikewise, guys will sometimes avoid it if they're stressed, not feeling great, etc. Not necessarily because they don't want it, but because they're worried they won't be able to perform and it'll be very embarrassing.\n"
}
] | 2
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000028133392333984375,
"logprob2": -7.625,
"signal": 7.624971866607666
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000001430511474609375,
"logprob2": -5.25,
"signal": 5.249998569488525
}
| -2.374973
| 13
|
10343
|
[
{
"query": "I've been dating this guy for about a month. Things are going super awesome and he's moving to a new place in a couple weeks. I am the type of person to likes to buy little presents. Any ideas for a cool housewarming gift? (Aside from sex in all the rooms, of course. Already planned.) \n\nOkay, I have no idea how to make a poll. So I'm going to make a list of the possible gifts that I know for sure he would like and just take a poll here (if it's not allowed, I'll remove it!)\n\n-fancy bed sheets \n\n-something for outside (would probably be a nice bench thing for his huge porch)\n\n-griddle\n\n-cast iron skillet\n\n-sex swing \n\n- + add cookies/rhubarb bars \n\n- + add french maid lingerie\nMen, what do you think of housewarming gifts?",
"chosen": "I started a 10 year relationship with a really great girl over an apartment warming gift.\n",
"rejected": "If most men are like me, we're pretty simple in these areas. Show up with a six pack (helps if you remember/know what I like), wearing a cute Tigers tshirt, help me set up my TV, and enjoy the game together.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm 22 years old(m) and I'm wondering what should I try to focus on at this age? I'm working right now but I feel like I should be doing more\nWhat should I be focusing on my life at the age of 22?",
"chosen": "One idea — saving money. Like, save until it hurts and open an IRA or some other retirement plan.\n",
"rejected": "dancing, cocaine and hang gliding.\n"
},
{
"query": "I think the stress of working 8:30AM-5PM is starting to get to me. I wake up around 7-730AM and leave the apartment by 8:15 to get to work. (thankfully i dont have a long commute to work). I get home by 5:30, chill for 30-60min, and then I hit the gym. I'm back by 8:30ish and have to cook dinner along with making extra to take to work the next day. \n\nAfter I'm done cooking, eating, and cleaning up it's around 9:30-10PM. I usually end up in bed by 11-11:30 to get sufficient sleep to repeat this seemingly endless cycle. \n\nSo I'm just wondering how other people are doing it because I feel like this cycle is de-sensitizing me to enjoyment out of life.\nThose of you with a 9-5 job, how do you find time in your day to relax/pursue other hobbies?",
"chosen": "You NEED to make your life as routine as possible.\n\n\nI work 8-5, my total commute is about 1.5 hours, I take an online course for 2 hours, gym for an hour, and I can still find time for romantic and social relationships.\n\n\nBut...\n\n\nI eat the same things, wear almost the same clothes, my place is a mess, and my mornings and nights are strictly routine.\n\nI've made as much of my life routine as I can. We only have a limited amount of brainpower for decision making each day. If I had to think about all of the stuff I've made routine, I'd be exhausted! I can spend my time and energy where I want to spend it during the week. Then, my Sunday is filled with prep work. I clean, do all my laundry, organize my clothes into sets, and prep my lunches and dinners for the week.\n\nI know some people who just cut out food altogether and just eat out every day. If you know anyone in a high stress job, you'll notice they make a lot of their life routine too. The owner of the company I work at has Oreos for lunch, every day. Guy just doesn't have the energy to think about making himself lunch!\n",
"rejected": "Dude, buck up. You work full time and can't possibly find time for hobbies and fun? I work full time Monday through Friday and am also still in college after work. The free time that I have over the summer is absolutely astronomical compared to the insanity that is fall and spring semester. I can't for the life of me figure out how people complain so much about only having full time jobs.\n"
},
{
"query": "So, I haven't had this issue for a while, I have a pretty big crush on this chick I recently met. But, as the title may imply, I can't do anything about it for more than one reason. Partially I'm moving across the country in 3 months, also she's unavailable for reasons unbeknown to me. \n\nI'm not looking for a way to change her mind, I'm looking for a way to not be distracted all the time. \n\nGents, how do you deal with infatuation ?\nWhat to do about crushes you can't do anything about.",
"chosen": "Video games, lots and lots of video games\n",
"rejected": "Find something better to do. I'm guilty of overthinking and pining too, but sometimes you just need to stop wasting your time and get on with your life.\n"
},
{
"query": "I was going to go with something along the lines of \"I know other girls have enjoyed that in the past but I prefer x,y,z\"\nWhat is the best way to tell a guy he's horrible at oral?",
"chosen": "Yeah stop right there. Dont criticize him or you're not gonna get any.\n\nTell him *what you want* not why what hes doing is wrong. Men take directions well. Slower, faster, just like that, higher up, etc.\n",
"rejected": "Give him tips to make him better, it's totally hot when ladies tell you what to do to turn them on.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm approaching the \"ripe\" age of 24 and I still have no idea what to expect from life. I am a NEET with anxiety and no special talents, but I want to break it. \n\nPlease don't try the \"you have time\" shtick. Time is the only resource NOBODY has enough of and I don't want to waste any more of mine.. I am more than 6 years behind the \"normal\" schedule already.\nMen of Reddit, at what age you gained a general idea of what you do want to achieve in life?",
"chosen": "13.\n",
"rejected": "I waited until I was 25 then just picked an achievable career path.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm curious and wanted to do a poll.... Why do you like to ejaculate on a woman? \nWhat do you get from it? \nWhat's your favourite body part to do it on?\nDo you like ejaculating on a woman?",
"chosen": "I much prefer to finish inside them, the level of intimacy is much higher.\n",
"rejected": "I'm not downvoting you, because it's your opinion. But I have to tell you your statement makes me feel gross and icky. I don't want anyone feeling like they own any part of my body. It just creeps me out to no end. \n\nJust me though, I appreciate that people have other ideas about what is exciting in the bedroom. That kinda attitude just scares me and is a total turn off.\n"
},
{
"query": "My boyfriend and I and some of our friends were sharing funny sex stories and apparently during the night while I sleep, I hump his leg (ie rub my clitoris against his leg if I happen to be sort of lying on or against him) untill I orgasm. Yep, like a dog. So embarrassing! My boyfriend says he thinks is adorable and funny but it kind of bothers me. I feel like I am molesting him without his consent kind of. I mean he said he would just wake me up or gently push me of. But it still kind of bothers me. I was raped when i was 17 so consent is big for me and I am worried that he is secretly disturbed by my behavior or something. IDK it just bothers me. Not sure what my question is really, just ranting and looking for different viewpoints.\ntechnically, am I molesting my boyfriend?",
"chosen": "I would say as someone who hasn't been affected by sexual assault, if he has no problem with it, it's fine. Would it make you feel better if he promised you he would wake you up and make you stop if he had a problem with it?\n",
"rejected": "Technically, yes you are. But it's just a word. The dynamic of your relationship is what is important here. It might be unwanted, but what, is every guy who slaps his girlfriend's ass without permission going to be a sexual harasser even if it's okay with the girlfriend? Those aren't even fair comparisons, because this is unconscious and in your sleep. If he has told you that it is okay and he is more than capable of stopping it, you don't need to feel as though you are doing something wrong.\n"
},
{
"query": "My girlfriend got mad at me the other day for using one, she was saying that it \"should be her\". But at the same time shes a virgin and doesn't want to have sex yet.\n\nI just find her argument a little odd and wouldn't mind some insight into it.\nHas your girlfriend ever been mad at you for using a fleshlight? Assuming you use one.",
"chosen": "Out of curiosity: how old are you?\n",
"rejected": "She feels insecure and is taking it out on you, that's all.\n\nPerhaps you shouldn't be discussing your masturbatory habits with her in so much detail, if she gets uncomfortable about it.\n\nTake this as an opportunity. If that \"should be her\", she's putting an offer on the table. At the very least, it's a chance to reassure her and build a closer bond.\n\nIf she really can't get past this, that's her own problem... but I get the feeling she's just inexperienced and being a little silly because of it.\n"
},
{
"query": "In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.\n\nI know it’s just a stereotype that men constantly want sex and women always turn it down. However, am I doing something wrong?\n\nI’m fine with a 2-3 times a week. We have needs.\nMen, how often do you want to have sex?",
"chosen": "maybe 1 once a month if they want to\n",
"rejected": "*In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.*\n\n*However, am I doing something wrong?*\n\nAre you initiating the sex, or are you just waiting for him to take the lead and when he doesn't you assume he doesn't want to have sex? It's quite possible he did want more sex but thought you didn't, so he didn't bother trying.\n\nLikewise, guys will sometimes avoid it if they're stressed, not feeling great, etc. Not necessarily because they don't want it, but because they're worried they won't be able to perform and it'll be very embarrassing.\n"
}
] | 7
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00015926361083984375,
"logprob2": -4.25,
"signal": 4.24984073638916
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000001430511474609375,
"logprob2": -5,
"signal": 4.999998569488525
}
| 0.750158
| 2
|
4557
|
[
{
"query": "Here’s why I asked this question.\n\nMy ex and I have been on and off for almost 5 years. Although we have our issues, I feel one thing he really wants is a girl who is super into fitness and has abs. We get along really well, we’re really compatible and I truly love but I’m no fitness babe. I’m not overweight, within the healthy BMI range but I’m probably more on the curvy side. I workout 3-4 times a week and am pretty flexible with my diet. I try to be more into the whole fitness lifestyle but I struggle with it whereas he is extremely fit and healthy. I feel like this is one the reasons why we keep going hot and cold. \n\nI kept hoping he would love me enough to accept as I am physically but I don’t see that happening anymore... time to move I guess so he can find his fitness babe.\nGuys of reddit who were once really picky about what you wanted in a girlfriend/wife, what changed your perspective?",
"chosen": "woman chiming in... i dated an athlete/8 pack individual for 3 years, his body looks like its sculpted by the gods.. side note: my fit ex told me he likes CURVY women, women i never expected him to date. i am a fit chic/with abs. so i felt what you felt at one point in time, but the opposite.. what if im not curvy enough? but my ex cleared that up for me one drunken night and told me something along the lines of \"theres a bunch of pretty girls out there, but none of them would be YOU\"\n\nyou are you, that is your power. \"a flower doesnt compete with the next flower, it just blooms\"\nyou are a fantastic flower, you could be a rose, or sunflower or orchids... whatever. when you go to a flower shop, arent you impressed with the beauty of all the flowers? each flower is so pretty that its so hard to choose which flowers for the bouqet. in that moment, many things can be beautiful at once. but when it comes to other women, i feel like as women, we want to be the prettiest of them all, prettiest girl in the room, prettiest ex he ever had etc... which is dumb, dangerous, shallow.\n\n\n anyways, first things first\n\n1. all athletes/body builders/\"fit people\" are insecure af. i know, i am one and have dated a bunch. majority of my ex's mood depended on how lean he looked after eating. if he still had a 6 pack after a big meal he was okay, god forbid its only a 4 pack.. because then he would be secretly upset and hungry rest of the day!! i used to give him a bunch of compliments bc i recognized how critical he was of himself. when you work out or are good looking people will constantly point out your body, and it will make you hyper aware of your looks. it is also makes you think after gaining 2 pounds, that people will think you're ugly/fat/undisciplined (even tho nobody else is thinking this); its just too much value on your body. he's probably too obssesed with himself to find faults in your body. i really doubt hes going to date you unless he thinks youre on the same level as him. if he tries to find flaws in your body, leave\n",
"rejected": "In my 20s, if someone wasn't a perfect, 100% match, I would lose interest after a few months. Took me years to realize that nobody fits you like a glove. Never, EVER settle, but find someone you love and those small things don't matter so much.\n"
},
{
"query": "I was scrolling down one question about peeing when someone said \\`\\`there is a point between your balls and your anus where, if you press it, you will empty your bladder (because you always have a little amount of pee there after peeing)\n\nThat dude saved my life, hands down, my underwear smells quite better rn\nWhat is something r/askmen taught you are grateful for?",
"chosen": "you can make an erection go away by flexing every muscle for 30 seconds. first thing I do every day before I pee.\n",
"rejected": "Not to hate/ be afraid of loneliness.\nAll my family is in relationships, but very few are loving I think, I think all are just scared of being alone.\n"
},
{
"query": "I don't feel comfortable at the idea of pouring all my weaknesses at people I know closely. And when I ever did in the past my parents or friends just consoled me and tried to sweap my problems under the rug and tell me to just deal with the situation or escape it. It felt embaressing altogether.\n\nWhere can I find a help-phone or some type of voice willing to hear me and listen to my problems? I'm a senior university student if that matters.\n\nBasically I'm about to crack and slip into a depression since I'm putting so much work on some areas normal people accomplish easily and am getting no results. At some areas in life I am a utter loser and tear up during the night thinking of how easily normal people do what I can't do for months or years on end. I know I don't have any \"real\" problems (poor health or dead family members) but its eating me inside the demons I'm dealing with.\nWhere can a man get free emotional support or find someone to talk to outside of close friends/family?",
"chosen": "see if there is a men's wellness center or clinic in your area. the one in my city has group sessions a couple times a week where dudes can go and chat with each other about emotional/mental health problems.\n",
"rejected": "Depending where you are, something like the Samaritans?\n\nI know my uni had talk lines open all through the night for people to have someone to talked to. They even had an online chat service to talk to if verbally talking was too hard. See if your Student Union offer something similar?\n"
},
{
"query": "I saw something earlier similar to this question. \n\n&#x200B;\n\nCurious\nWhat's something women should know about men to save themselves a lot of stress?",
"chosen": "In general, we don't give a fuck about your fingernails or toenails. That's literally the last thing most guys would look at in assessing their interest in you. We like good, curvy bodies, luscious hair, straight teeth, a sense of humor, a fun personality, etc. I've never, ever, ever heard a guy say, \"Oh my God dude. Her nails fucking rock. I'm so glad she spent 50 bucks getting those done.\"\n",
"rejected": "Most times we need coaxing and encouragement to open up. If you get frustrated at the fact that we don't, it will only make us close up more.\n"
},
{
"query": "I just moved into my own place, and besides my old college American flag and beer posters, what sort of wall decorations and art would you all recommend?\nMen, what sort of art/decorations do you have in your apartment?",
"chosen": "Woman here, but what my male friends (in their early 20s) have in their apartment which makes them feel cosy are :\n- potted plants\n- framed photographs and movie posters (a frame makes all the difference, choose a narrow black frame to keep things neutral)\n- touches of colours with a few pillows, dishes, carpets\n- nice lamps (makes a lot of difference) with warm light bulbs for the living room and bedroom, and white light bulbs for the other rooms\n\nMake things personal by making sure the things around you relate to your story, passions and travels!\n",
"rejected": "I have a cedar bow rack displaying a dozen arrows, my recurve and longbow. And a magnetic levitating Death Star.\n"
},
{
"query": "Put courting in quotations because this exact word has been used.\n\nI'm a 19F college student, and I've been seeing this a lot in guys lately. Yay for dating, boo for relationships. But when I ask or fish for intentions of a guy I'm on a date with, they usually say they just like taking women out and courting them, but aren't interested in a relationship.\n\nSorry to be frank, but isn't that a form of tomfoolery? Obviously if you take the same girls out multiple times until the excitement of the honeymoon stage is gone, she's naturally gonna want more from the guy but he balks and says he just likes courting girls. If you treat her too well, won't she get the wrong idea, or start to hope she becomes more special to you than all the other girls? Seems like an easy out so a guy can get to have fun with the girl until she wants more and he can back out...I thought the purpose of courting was to eventually *get the girl*.\n\nWhat is the logic behind this, and how should I respond (in the future) when a guy tells me this?\n\nFor context: I'm 50/50 with casual dating and friends with benefits, last serious relationship was 7 months and ended in January.\nWhy do some young men only like \"courting\" women?",
"chosen": "This makes no sense to me. I see the \"courting\" process as a means(that is fun at times) to an end.\n",
"rejected": "Dating is fun, but lots of guys now consider many forms of relationship to be a losing proposition.\n"
},
{
"query": "As the title implies, how did you find your job that you enjoy? I’m struggling with my current job and I think at the heart of it all is that I really don’t like the work, yet I don’t know where to go to find work I would enjoy. I’m 27 and feel like I haven’t found my “thing” and it’s a paralyzing feeling. I am by no means “stuck” physically. As much as I hate my job, it pays ok, though I haven’t gotten a real raise in the 4 years I’ve been here (64k in 2017 now 70k in 2021). I have an education, though I kinda hated my field of study (industrial engineering) and I feel like maybe I’ve been wasting my time for basically the last 9 years while I pursued this path.\n\nWhat advice do you have for finding work that you enjoy or even love? Any strategies for breaking out of a funk where you feel like the path you were on and committed to isn’t for you?\nHow did you find work that you enjoy doing?",
"chosen": "Enjoy manual labor work I'm doing, not in debt at all and the people rock tbh. \n\nI'd take this over office work where I'm so bored and people gossip 24/7\n",
"rejected": "they pay me\n"
},
{
"query": "I've noticed that (in my case, women) will go to great lengths to come up with some obtuse reason they're not available to see you or bail or even worse, ghost on you the last minute...instead of just being outright and upfront. Like, damn I would rather hear that you're either not interested or that you suddenly are just flat out not attracted to me any longer instead of me having to \"get the clue\". Like you're doing me a favor by seeing me...mother fucker, I have a life too. Shit's just disrespectful and immature in my opinion...but whatever -- just would like to hear some anecdotes honestly.\nWhat's the most garbage excuse a person of interest has given you that they can't hang out?",
"chosen": "My friends didn't tell me that another friend was coming to town for a day or two. They bailed on me on my birthday. Now looking for new friends.\n",
"rejected": "Most just tell me they are not interested. Maybe they don't care about my feelings, but don't want to hurt yours?\n"
}
] | 4
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000141143798828125,
"logprob2": -6,
"signal": 5.999858856201172
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000021696090698242188,
"logprob2": -5.375,
"signal": 5.374978303909302
}
| -0.624881
| 3
|
7781
|
[
{
"query": "That sounds cruel, I know. Let me explain. \nHere's some context: I'm dating a new guy who I have great sexual chemistry with, and am attracted to. He often gives me compliments about my looks and body, and it leaves me feeling bad when I dont say anything back when he compliments my body. \nHe has an attractive face, so I return the compliment on that one. However, he is too skinny for my liking, so I feel dishonest if I were to compliment his body back. \n\nHe's made a few comments in the past, about how skinny he is, and asking about the size of my previous partners..so I can tell its probably an insecurity of is. I'm not sure how to kindly tell him I'd be more attracted to him if he gained some muscle...\n\nI've had skinny partners before, and suggested we go to the gym together but it never happened. He kept saying that he was going to do it, maybe to please me, but I could tell he wasnt genuinely interested. So I dont want to push my new SO into doing something just to please my tastes.\nHow do I tell my new boyfriend I'm not as attracted to his body as he is to mine?",
"chosen": "Let flip genders, you're the guy talking about a skinny girl or a fat girl. What do you think people would be saying? Ffs you're trying to change him when he's happy with himself.\n\nThis guy deserves better, you should let him find someone who would love him 100%.\n",
"rejected": "You \\*like\\* him, or you wouldn't be asking. \n\nIs it a fitness thing? You mentioned the gym. \n\nDo you have an 'active' activity that you could include him in and have him tone up while sharing something you enjoy?\n"
},
{
"query": "Btw I'm not actually a college dropout if you read my username\nIn my mid 20s, what books do you recommend for me to read?",
"chosen": "Alchemist, Shogun, Enders Game\n",
"rejected": "If you're into video games I'd recommend Ready Player One. Solid read.\n"
},
{
"query": "Hi, I really want to understand men more for my crappy fanfiction. So, if you had to choose, what would be your ideal situation and why:\n\nA) you meet a woman you fall in love with. She falls in love with you too. You get into a relationship and eventually get married. The end.\n\nB) you meet a woman that you fall in love with. She falls in love with you, but she won't admit it. However, you find out about it from someone else and that it doesn't matter what you do, she'll stay in love. You don't admit that you love her back so that her desire for you becomes greater and greater when you are together until eventually it gets publicly known. You reject her a few more times until you grant her to be used by you a few times. She'll stay in love with you anyway. \n\nC) reverse situation: you meet a woman that you fall in love with. She is in love with you too, but doesn't admit it. So she keeps rejecting you and you start loving/desiring her more and more when she is near. Then you are forced to admit that you love her, but she rejects you yet you keep seeing her and she sometimes makes you believe she likes you back but you think you will never stand a chance in reality (even though that isn't true only you'll never find out)\n\nSo what would you choose and why ? Thanks a lot in advance if you answer\n\n**Everyone thanks a lot for replying on this question! it meant a lot to me. THIS!!! I had a girlfriend that literally stopped performing oral sex on me. It became THE issue in our relationship. I tend to be attracted to abusive, manipulative people, to the point where my relationships haven't been healthy. In my time, I've learned it is not wise to tell women you are interested in them, because as soon as you do this, they sprout wings and fly away. All I wanted was a woman who was also my friend. So I replaced the water with vinegar one day. Ruined everything on his desk. It was a good day. Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 14 Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD. 22 He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth**\nMen, which love situation would you choose and why?",
"chosen": "B and C sound like pretty shitty situations, and emotionally negligent to a point. I'm not a fan of the DENNIS system, myself. I'd go with A - but you make it sound so horribly bland. Serious and committed relationships, and developing a life with another person, is much more exciting than how you frame it.\n",
"rejected": "No contest, Situation A. That is clearly the simplest situation with the most desriable outcome (for me, at least).\n"
},
{
"query": "In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.\n\nI know it’s just a stereotype that men constantly want sex and women always turn it down. However, am I doing something wrong?\n\nI’m fine with a 2-3 times a week. We have needs.\nMen, how often do you want to have sex?",
"chosen": "maybe 1 once a month if they want to\n",
"rejected": "*In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.*\n\n*However, am I doing something wrong?*\n\nAre you initiating the sex, or are you just waiting for him to take the lead and when he doesn't you assume he doesn't want to have sex? It's quite possible he did want more sex but thought you didn't, so he didn't bother trying.\n\nLikewise, guys will sometimes avoid it if they're stressed, not feeling great, etc. Not necessarily because they don't want it, but because they're worried they won't be able to perform and it'll be very embarrassing.\n"
},
{
"query": "So, there I am, sitting down with the kids and telling them that downloaded copyright material is kind of okay, so long as you use encryption and seed back one to one and we start watching X Men Apocalypse when the questions start. \n\nWho's this? What's she doing? Why do they look like that? And that is when I realise....they have never seen Days of Future Past!\nAnd that is how I realised that I had failed....\nHow have you failed as a parent?",
"chosen": "I talked her into aborting my kid. Bad parent.\n",
"rejected": "Unable to convince the wife to let me name our son Bracken. Wanted to be in the delivery room saying \"Release the Bracken!\"\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm turning 19 and have been doing this since I was a kid. My fingers look terrible.\nMen who had a nail-biting habit, how did you overcome it?",
"chosen": "One day I got fed up with it and just decided to stop.\n\nTook three weeks before it became natural not to bite them and I had to put quite a bit of effort into forcing myself not to, to be always vigilant, but was worth it.\n\nNow I have the opposite problem, sometimes I have my nails grow so much my female friends comment on it!\n\nBefore that I tried to stop for years. I tried everything and nothing worked because I never put real effort into it. I expected some miracle way to make myself stop, but there's no other way than to make the decision and stick with it despite all temptations.\n",
"rejected": "I'm 29 and I'm the same boat. \n\nWorst habit ever.\n"
},
{
"query": "I’m a recovering alcoholic, and like many men, I thought drinking my problems away was therapy. \n\nI see this as a significant issue facing the population, especially men. Many of my male friends do not even know how to hang out with other guys without drinking. I just do the same things, I just don’t spend as much time in bars.\nHow much do you drink a week?",
"chosen": "Alcohol cravings is on every diagnostic screen for alcohol dependenancy disorder. Please explain how that's a belief or projection.\n",
"rejected": "About 4-6 drinks a week, depending on how bad of a day I have at work lol It also depends on the week because there are times I go weeks without it if I'm not feeling it, depends\n"
},
{
"query": "Just curious. How many sexual partners? How quickly she gives up it? The way she dresses?\nAt what point do you consider a woman a slut?",
"chosen": "After she surpasses the national slut range frequency of 3.9 cocks per week.\n",
"rejected": "None of those are what I consider a slut. Sluts are girls that take advantage of guys to get sex, or use sex to take advantage of guys. Sluts string them along, try to take their money, trap them, etc.\n"
}
] | 3
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000001430511474609375,
"logprob2": -4.75,
"signal": 4.749998569488525
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00005888938903808594,
"logprob2": -9,
"signal": 8.999941110610962
}
| 4.249943
| 4
|
5151
|
[
{
"query": "I'm probably going back to school very soon and I might have a pretty decent career in a couple years so I've been fantasizing about how sweet it will be to have all that extra cash. What was it like for you?\n\nHad to move to a new city? Bought a sweet-ass apartment that you probably paid a little too much for? Re-entered the dating pool as a new man? Your job wasn't that great and life didn't become as good as you expected?\n\nPlease share your experiences.\nUnmarried guys, what was your life like when you first started making enough money to live comfortably?",
"chosen": "To be honest, I don't know. I went from being supported by my parents through university almost straight into a very well paying job. I've never been behind on finances, and to be honest I barely notice the money anymore.\n\nThat's not to say I'm out partying and living it up constantly. I could keep my current lifestyle on half of my current salary because I don't spend money on things that I don't need or won't get significant benefit out of. Actually getting myself to spend money is one of the hardest things that I do.\n",
"rejected": "I'm from a family of poverty... like sub 20k poverty. So when I started making a significant amount of money I told myself I would be responsible with it, that worked for about 2 months. Then I bought my childhood dream car a WRX and dumped 4k in parts into that. Moved out of my dad's place and into my own house. Bought all kinds of shit I didn't need for about a year. Now I'm dumping most of my money into savings and helping my siblings a little financially. As for personal life it's just as boring as it was before I started my career.\n"
},
{
"query": "I go to the gym 4 days a week on average, go for a morning jog most days and play footbal on Fridays.\n\nAlso how old are you? I'm 21.\n\nThanks.\nHow much physical exersise do you do on a regular basis?",
"chosen": "24 lifting 3 times a week and abs/core work on off days other than that I just walk my dog\n",
"rejected": "I do three to five hours of dancing of different sorts on an average week, and walk to get to places.\n"
},
{
"query": "In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.\n\nI know it’s just a stereotype that men constantly want sex and women always turn it down. However, am I doing something wrong?\n\nI’m fine with a 2-3 times a week. We have needs.\nMen, how often do you want to have sex?",
"chosen": "maybe 1 once a month if they want to\n",
"rejected": "*In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.*\n\n*However, am I doing something wrong?*\n\nAre you initiating the sex, or are you just waiting for him to take the lead and when he doesn't you assume he doesn't want to have sex? It's quite possible he did want more sex but thought you didn't, so he didn't bother trying.\n\nLikewise, guys will sometimes avoid it if they're stressed, not feeling great, etc. Not necessarily because they don't want it, but because they're worried they won't be able to perform and it'll be very embarrassing.\n"
},
{
"query": "Well, it's the end of the year and I've been thinking about some goals for the next year. Many of my goals for a new year usually are about learning something new (playing the guitar has been around for a while) or a new habit to acquire that would be beneficial for me (such as exercising and eating healthy food).\n\nSomething I have been thinking about is how we spent hundreds and hundreds of hours doing some activities that are not always THAT worthy, such as playing games or watching TV shows. Yes, this is entertainment and it's a time that's not wasted, since you end up having fun and learning a thing or two in the process. But the thing is, wouldn't you have more fun doing other stuff too?\n\nThe idea is to find stuff that could be made into a New Year's goal. Something that could be practiced a few minutes everyday or a few times a week that would lead to a considerable development by the end of the year.\n\nI'd really like your thoughts on some skills or habits that you spent some time on and, after a while, you realized how well-spent that time was.\nWhat activities and hobbies do you think are worth spending hundreds of hours on?",
"chosen": "cars. cars. cars. I've spent god knows how many hours on my car. I just like the feeling of taking something pretty confusing and making it work. \n\nI'm putting a Chevy engine in a Toyota car the way it was never intended to be.\n",
"rejected": "Playing bass. Its not as easy as guitar players make it out to be, but you can pick up the basics and learn a few simple songs pretty quickly.\n"
},
{
"query": "Just reading through the identical thread on the Women’s side of the house and that got me thinking what were we subjected to?\n\nI’ll go first; My ex would always gas light me by looking at her location on Snapchat. I caught her a couple of times not being where she said she was.\nMen: What did you think was completely normal in the relationship untill you discovered it was abusive behaviour?",
"chosen": "That it was ok for my gf to hit, restrain, grab, hold, slap me because she was mad and that I couldn't do anything about it if I wanted to stay in the relationship\n",
"rejected": "I was going to say the same, the gaslighting. Painted me as being paranoid and delusional despite catching her in so many lies. Even convinced her sisters and our friends that I was nuts. Years later I found out all my suspicions were true, and she did even more than I suspected.\n"
},
{
"query": "Some more info: I liked her for a couple of months now but she has shown signs of considering me to be just a friend. Offers to wing(wo)man me, and has hooked up with other guys while I was around. Thing is, across all those months she has been flirting with me occasionally and my friends who observed the situation told me that she probably likes me. So now the question appears, do I try and go for her while I'm visiting her or should I go for her friends who she has offered to help me get with?\nGirl who I like but who seems to consider me just a friend invited me to visit her in another country. I'm probably gonna go but I need advice on how to approach the situation; should I go for her or for her friends while I'm there?",
"chosen": "I'd avoid it, and let the girl (whichever girl it is) make the first move, unless you want to take the brutal honesty track. If that's your path, talk it out with them. Straight up ask her, and get it out of the way instead of pussyfooting around. Dispense with the mating dance.\n",
"rejected": "If you do go I'd recommend giving it a subtle last chance. Show some signs of interest with flirts and if she reciprocates go for a hook up, if there's no reciprocation THEN go for her friends. Unless you happen to meet someone you'd like more, then just go for her instead. \n\n\nIf you think she would get upset over this do remember that she was given a chance so you can't get pinned for it. Unless you skip your friend for that other someone you may meet.\n"
},
{
"query": "It’s a actual question I don’t know it I think almost nobody know honestly\nWhat do you think girls do in the bathroom when 10 go",
"chosen": "Is it a binary 10 girls?\n",
"rejected": "Sexy lingerie pillow fights. What else could possible be happening?\n"
},
{
"query": "I've seen a few posts asking for desirable qualities in a partner and they were all pretty generic. What if you had to choose a flaw? What is the greatest flaw you could put up with to stay with your otherwise-dream partner?\nIf you met a partner who was your dream woman in all aspects bar one then what is the greatest flaw you could live with?",
"chosen": "No eyebrows? I guess? I don't know...\n",
"rejected": "A vestigial twin. If I really loved her, I could deal with it.\n"
},
{
"query": "Looking for healthy new meal ideas to quickly prepare for meals throughout the week. I absolutely love cooking steak for dinner (NY Strip is my go to), but it's just not financially sensible to cook steak everyday.\n\nI'm pretty good at cooking sides, but the only meat I'm good at cooking is steak.\nBachelors, what is your go to meat you cook often and how do you prepare it?",
"chosen": "Steak's not that expensive, or maybe I'm just getting bad cuts and used to the mediocrity. I typically do that, some broccoli too, maybe an avocado pilfered from the office kitchen.\n",
"rejected": "Chicken! I normally use ginger, garlic and honey. I then bake it for 20 minutes. It sounds strange, but I promise you it tastes like heaven. My roommate said it was the best chicken he ever tasted.\n"
},
{
"query": "Hot weather day, you are at a social occasion, maybe fancy dinner or corporate event, and you don't want to have beer. What is your go to drink? What are some other options.\n\nAt the moment my preference is a wine spritzer.\nBesides beer - what is your go to drink for hot weather?",
"chosen": "Sweet Tea is the correct answer.\n",
"rejected": "Lemonade and/or ice tea.\n"
},
{
"query": "First of all, English is my second language and I want to apologise for any mistakes and weird grammar.\n\nI am 26, and recently realized that I am becoming my own father, thing that I was trying to avoid. Don't get me wrong, my dad is a good person, but he is shitty when it comes to relations with significant people - he and my mom are married for 28 years and for 20 years their marriage was quite shitty. Not shitty enough to get a divorce, but they were barely speaking to each other, arguing and becoming more distant. It tuned out good in the end, now everything seems ok, they are talking again, renovating their flat, going to the movies, walks, even spending vacation together. But for 20 years it was simply bad. I always thought that the way their relationship looked like was my dad's fault - he is stubborn, always knows best, gets annoyed easily, not many things are enjoyable to him. Recently I came to realise, that I share similar traits, despite the fact that I always wanted to avoid behaving like him. Now I am in the 3rd year of relationship with my girlfriend and see that I am behaving in a very similar way. I am aware of that fact, but when it comes to an argument - even in mundane, everyday matters - I always think that I know better, don't want to change my mind and I am raising my voice while talking. I feel like an idiot for being aware of this, but not being able to change it. I don't want my relationship to turn into 20 years of alienation. Neither I want to end it and be single for the rest of my life. Because if I end it, it'll be too hard to start again knowing, that in three years time I may turn into my dad again. How to deal with this?\nHow to prevent becoming your own father?",
"chosen": "Best I can think of is \"think before you speak\".\n\nYou've already identified the problem, now it's up to you alone to be more aware of your behaviour. Like, you're half way there, it's willpower and self-control from here on.\n",
"rejected": "Never time travel Marty , lol\n\nWell I don't know , preemptive relationship therapy perhaps?\n"
},
{
"query": "When you are with a group of gay men or just one, how does it affect you? Whether it be negative or positive? \n\n(This has nothing to do with my opinion on gay men)\nHow comfortable are you around gay men?",
"chosen": "Down boy.\n",
"rejected": "Very. In fact I'm so comfortable, I've been accused of being a cock tease on many occasions. Sorry, I'm an equal opportunity flirt, even if I don't actually want to have sex with you.\n"
},
{
"query": "Never expected so many answers. If you feel like it, don't miss the opportunity to say something nice to someone else, it will help you feel a tiny bit better 💗\nWhat are you struggling with rn?",
"chosen": "Trying to like salad.\n",
"rejected": "So much. My friends and family all think I’m this great success at 22yo but something is gonna snap soon. \n\nI’m 11 days sober which I love but having addict parent means that I want to cry half the time feeling like I’m failing in their footsteps. When I first realised I had addiction issues and fully understood that I was just as bad as my parent, I wanted to die.\n\nDoesn’t help that I work part time at a bar, or that the staff act sexually inappropriately and I’ve even had my ass slapped by a ‘friend of the owner’. I’d quit but I’m drowning in debt from my addiction days. Told the owner and he said ‘you’re not his type’. Fml\n\nSaw my parent for Christmas Day for the first time in a long time, and within 5 minutes was told how much time they spent thinking about killing themselves now that I’ve left. I went home and did drugs until I couldn’t feel the pain anymore. \n\nI could go on with this but what’s the point. I know in my heart I’m a good person with a lot to offer the world, one day I’ll see myself as more then damaged goods masquerading as a success\n"
}
] | 8
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000009179115295410156,
"logprob2": -6.25,
"signal": 6.249990820884705
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000009179115295410156,
"logprob2": -12.75,
"signal": 12.749990820884705
}
| 6.5
| 4
|
6808
|
[
{
"query": "Walking back from class just now, I saw the flash/flashlight on this girls phone was on. Now, I could see this bright light burning from 20 yards away across the street. \n\nShe cross the street ahead to my side and as I approached her, I pointed to her phone, which was in her hand down by her side. I said \"Your flashlight is turned on\" in about the most neutral tone of voice I've ever used.\n\nY'all, I'm pretty sure this poor gal either misheard or misinterpreted EVERYTHING about that statement. She gives me the weirdest look I have ever personally experienced, gives a muffled \"thanks?\" and hustles off down the street about as fast as she could without breaking into a dead sprint. I stood there dumbstruck for about 10 seconds while a guy standing a few feet away about busts his ass laughing, gives me a shrug and says \"you tried, man.\"\nWhat's the creepiest you've ever UNINTENTIONALLY been to a woman?",
"chosen": "I was about to go on a date with a girl that I had met on tinder and decided to stop and get a coffee and a little bite to eat before I went and met her at the restaurant. She texts me and goes, \"How do you know where I live?\" this took me completely off guard and I was confused. Turns out the coffee shop was outside her apartment and that she noticed through snap chats friends locator that I was right outside. \n\nSafe to say we didn't make it to the date...\n",
"rejected": "I was chatting with a girl on snapchat during my Interrail trip. We ended up talking about TV shows, she mentioned some show she liked that I haven't seen, so I said \"Seems like you'll have to invite me on a movie night then\", she said \"Sure!\" and I made the mistake of writing \"I hope you live alone then!\"\n\nWhat I wanted to say: \"I have a roommate and I've spent the last two weeks with people, so I hope there won't be a ton of people\"\n\nWhat she head: ...yeah, you can guess.\n\nShe instantly deleted me off snapchat, I don't even blame her.\n"
},
{
"query": "For example, I'm Canadian and I have immense respect for our men and women in uniform. Not because I'm Canadian but because I truly believe the operations they undertake actually benefit the world and other countries.\nHow do you view the military in your country? (Also what country do you live in?",
"chosen": "Mexico. It's complicated. They have good rescue programs for emergencies. But they are also corrupted, and act with impunity and tyranny. So when people see them they're either glad that they're getting rescued or afraid to be tortured and disappeared.\n",
"rejected": "Bunch of old drunkards who couldn't find their own cocks with two hands and a map and thus failed life as civilians, finding a safe refuge in gobbling tax-payer's money and hazing another, much larger bunch of younger men who aren't there by choice.\n\nOr as the popular adage here runs: \"A million clean-up-women officered by broken brandy bottles\".\n\nIt's a complete tear-down.\n\nI have zero respect for most of our military personnel; I feel *pity* for those conscripted to serve, and nothing but contempt for the alcohol-filled clowns who command them.\n"
},
{
"query": "Not just here, but on any sub. For example, on AskReddit, I once said that AskWomen is a police state and what consequences that has resulted in, and I got rewarded with a score of -30. Doesn't make the statement any less true, though.\nWhat downvoted comment you have written do you stand by 100%?",
"chosen": "I said after a certain age if you say you have a crush on someone it is weird. Also I got downvoted on this sub to oblivion for saying guys should just ask the woman they like out the worst she could do is say no. The lonely basement dwellers had a field day with that one.\n",
"rejected": "That there's nothing wrong with making rape jokes; like around your buddies/people who don't mind them\n"
},
{
"query": "If anyone has had experience with this, whether using a service, providing a service, or knows personally of someone who has done either, could you share your story with me? \n\nThe reason I ask such a specific question is I've heard of such services, I've found some on google, but I don't know how trustworthy the websites stories are or how people's experiences with this sort of thing vary. \n\nAs for why, the short story is I have recently gotten out of a relationship and my ex will also be attending the event with someone she \"met shortly after\" and *definitely* did not meet while were still dating. Needless to say, my reasons may be petty, but I really just want to get through this event and never deal with this again. \n\nTherefore, I have decided that just for this upcoming event I would just like to hire someone to attend the event with me as a date. I live in a large city, and I'm willing to pay for these services, but I wouldn't want to hire a prostitute... The extent of such services would only be to attend the date and stick to a predetermined story, maybe take a few pictures, and then we would be on our seperate ways. \n\nAny help with learning more about something like this would be appreciated.\n(Serious) Has anyone 'rented' a date (NOT prostitution) for a Wedding or Event and How was your experience?",
"chosen": "Your best bet may be to go by yourself. That way if you meet someone amazing at the wedding you will be free to pursue it!\n",
"rejected": "Yeah, it ended in sex.\n\nShe was a very capable \"upseller\".\n"
},
{
"query": "Using a throwaway for obvious reasons. \n\nI've (F22) been seeing a guy (M26) for about 3 weeks. I really like him and he feels the same. Last night we had the \"exclusivity\" talk. But... I'm worried I have fucked up BIG TIME.\n\nWe have not had sex yet (His decision). We have done other things, however they were erm... not great... This week, he open up to me that he doesn't have much experience and wants to know he can trust a girl before he sleeps with her. I have no problem with this except for the fact that I feel like I've already lost his trust. \n\nI come from a VERY sex positive friendship group. We often discuss each others sex lives and it's just not a big deal to us. After the first time we tried anything, his inexperience became apparent. I approached one of my Female friends (we'll call her M) with this and asked for her advice (because I know she went through a similar thing with her current BF). \n\nThe problem is, last weekend, M and I were at a house party with other mutual friends (lots of drinking). The discussion came around that I was seeing somebody new. They knew I was going to stay at his the next day, when all of a sudden M shouts across the room \"so you can have more bad sex?\". So great, now the entire fucking room knows, but we're all good friends so lets just move on right?\n\nMoving into this week, I went to hang out at a friends apartment (We'll call her K) after work (a more sober affair). K was at our house party and heard M say the comment. She has a few other people there too (who wernt at the party), and were playing some board games, when the discussion comes back round to me as they want to hear about this new potential man in my life. I just tell them the truth, that I really like him and that I hope things go further. At this point, K remarks \"So he improved in bed then?\". Fantastic, now another fucking room of people know...\n\nI'm so mad at myself for thinking I could talk to M about this like adults, but the situation is getting out of control. I don't want to tell this guy as all I see that achieving is him feeling humiliated... but I'm aware that this is a major breach of trust on my end (although not in a malicious way). Any advice?!\nHow can I handle this delicate situation?",
"chosen": "Looks like you screwed up big time. He explicitly stated that he wants to trust a girl before things go further.\n\nDo you think your actions display trust? I'm pretty sure you can kiss your chances with this guy goodbye. I would personally be very pissed off at you for doing what you did (in a malicious way or not).\n\nI really don't understand why women have to share intimate details of someone else to their friends. Seems to me that it causes mostly problems. So try to remember this the next time you feel the urge to share this kind of stuff with your friends...\n",
"rejected": "You have shitty friends... sure they're sex positive but at the same time so very insensitive.\n\nI doubt your bf will be able to trust you if you lie to him about it... and really... the dude told you he's inexperienced and you HAD to tell someone about it??? \n\nI feel like this is something you should have kept to yourself. Too late now though.\n"
},
{
"query": "I already moved all pictures of my ex girlfriends to a new folder and made it hidden, but what else is important to remember to do before letting your girlfriend borrow your laptop for a week?\n\nThanks!\nMen, what's important to do with your laptop before letting your girlfriend borrow it for a week?",
"chosen": "Just curious, but why do you keep your ex's pics?\n",
"rejected": "Just make her an account with her own login, it should keep your files separate unless you make her an admin (I wouldn't make anyone else an admin on my machine).....bonus point, she'll appreciate the idea. \n\nIf you value your ex's pictures that much, they should be stored on an external drive or in the cloud somewhere.\n"
},
{
"query": "Something that you want to buy, have been researching, are thinking about buying or just long to get one day?\nWhat are you looking forward to getting?",
"chosen": "Cat. And a dog.\n",
"rejected": "I'm looking forward to getting my first mechanical keyboard, and some nic^er headphones over Easter.\n"
},
{
"query": "I know sooooo many couples and literally none of them met in a way different to those two options. Either they met through similar friends or at work. Rarely through a shared hobby. \n\nBut I wonder how else someone could meet women. \n\nReally I have so many friends but for some reason theyre all either guys, in a relationship or very unattractive.\nMen of reddit, who didnt meet their girlfriend/wife through social circles or work; Where did it happen for you?",
"chosen": "Met through OKCupid.\n",
"rejected": "I work retail and my now-girlfriend came in one day and while helping her, I was just lightly joking around with her, poking fun at her a bit for not knowing what honeydew is. Apparently shed only ever heard them referred to as melons. As i finished ringing her up i said \"hey I dont mean to put you on the spot or anything but I really like your vibe, are you single?\" Got her number. Hung out 2 days later and everyday after that. She thought it was super hot that I had the confidence to just ask her out like that, and said I did it in a natural non creepy way. Tbh shes a bit outta my league but you miss 100% of the shots you dont take.\n"
},
{
"query": "Hi Men :)\n\nMy boyfriend has just taken care of me so well. He insisted I go to the doctor, carried me in as I was very dizzy, listened to my awful symptoms, made sure I got the medication I needed then over the next few days he has helped me bathe, use the bathroom, taken care of my pets and been my absolute saviour. \n\nA very good example- I fainted in the parking lot as he was carrying me to the car and it was terrifying but even as I lost consciousness he was there comforting me.\n\nI'm so in love with him it hurts my heart, and I want to thank him. \n\nHow can I convey how much he means to me and how thankful I am that he was there for me? \n\nWhat would make you feel appreciated and special after helping someone so much? \n\nThank you for your help :)\nMy boyfriend has taken care of me as I was unwell- how do I thank him? Everything I think of seems pathetic after I think of how he helped me.",
"chosen": "Sex.\n",
"rejected": "Make him dinner.\n\nGet him a case of his favorite beer.\n\nTell him you appreciate everything he did for you.\n\nReturn the favour when you are able.\n\n\nDon't feel like you owe him a life debt cause nothing you can do will make up for that feeling. Thank him in a way that's meaningful for him and return the favour when you're able.\n"
},
{
"query": "Mine sucked, filled with depression and anxiety. I spent too much time trying to figure out my life. \nUnlike my friends I never had a girlfriend and didn’t party till the dawn. So I feel like I missed out a lot and wondering If I can have the experience?\nMen of reddit, how was your high school experience like? Was it truly the best time of your life?",
"chosen": "Best time of my life ? Lol, not even close...high school was shit for me. \n\nCollege was much, much better.\n\nAnd young-fully independant-adult life is even better than college. And I believe the best is still to come !\n",
"rejected": "It was OK but not the best. I focused more on studying than partying so I missed out on a lot of social stuff.\n"
},
{
"query": "As I was reading comments about men not taking NO for answer when picking up women, I realized that I haven't even tried to charm woman once in last three years (m29).\n\nSo how about you, normal people, how often do you try that? What are some normie numbers?\nHow often do you try pickup women?",
"chosen": "I've never tried. I am not physically attractive, I have difficulty noticing/reading social cues, and I am not an expert conversationalist by any stretch.\n\nCombined, I see no point in trying to approach. I simply lack what is needed to make that work.\n",
"rejected": "i asked out a girl 1 timein the past two years and it went poorly lol\n"
},
{
"query": "Example: Smoking cigarettes 🚬 \n\nThis was widely accepted in the 40's-50's, only to later prove to be a very unhealthy habit\nWhat is something that people do now that you believe we will find out years, maybe decades, in the future was absolutely terrible for our health?",
"chosen": "OnlyFans. Really sets a precedent for disappointment, loneliness, and internet /porn addiction. You'll be like Quagmire after he discovered internet porn for the first time. Also it's draining your finances and you be lucky to even have them notice you.\n",
"rejected": "Butter, people have avoided it like the plague because of the whole fat=death thing but grass fed butter is quite good for you.\n"
},
{
"query": "For me it’s because I don’t smoke weed. I have been talking to a girl for about a week and she was all about me, until she asked if I smoked and I said no. Ghosted me from that point on. How about the rest of you guys?\nWhat’s the dumbest reason why someone didn’t date you?",
"chosen": "She met another guy whom she liked more because he drove a nicer car.\n",
"rejected": "I've heard a lot of reasons that were probably more to \"let me down gently,\" but it just went full retard. Although one of my favorite stories is about my sister's friend, referred to here as \"Liz.\" My sister asked me if I thought Liz was cute, and yeah she was attractive so I said of course. Then my sister talked to Liz and I got a text from her, which was surprising still because it was still new at this time.\n\nWe talked a little, and she seemed really cool so I asked her if she wanted to go out with me on a date. Liz said yes, which definitely surprised me but I was able to keep it cool over texts a lot more easily. When we go out, things are alright, felt like we're both a little nervous about it but she seemed like she's having a good time.\n\nWell at the end of the date, she was asking about what I liked, what I'm looking for in a girl, all the usual questions you might expect. It's going well until I asked her what she likes, and she said, \"You know, one of my biggest turn ons is black guys.\" Being the fair skinned mofo I am, it was like, \"Oh uh...ok.\"\n\nShe apologized, said that I seemed like her type, but that she wasn't sure if she could date someone not black...and she's a ginger so it's not like I was messing with a black girl. I just remember ending the date with laughter, asking like, \"You know my sister. You know she's not black. I don't know what you were thinking...\"\n"
}
] | 7
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00007534027099609375,
"logprob2": -7.25,
"signal": 7.249924659729004
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000016927719116210938,
"logprob2": -6.625,
"signal": 6.624983072280884
}
| -0.624942
| 5
|
3499
|
[
{
"query": "I'm a 16 year old high school student. Every morning and every night I brush (tongue included), floss, and use mouth wash. About 10 minutes later, I have horrible breath again. I tonsil stones because of the holes in my tonsils, and I've talked to a doctor about getting them removed but he said they couldn't do it because it was not a something that had to be done. I usually have about 2 packs of gum on me at all times. But sometimes I just get tired of chewing gum, and my breath is pretty bad directly after I spit it out. What advice do you have for this?\nHow can I fix my bad breath?",
"chosen": "Big thing is to keep hydrated. Get about a litre of water a day. Also, chewing gum can actually dry your mouth out.\n",
"rejected": "This may not be relevant, but eating foods with high sulfur content like garlic and onions can't be battled with toothbrushes, mouthwash, or gum. The sulfur in these foods is secreted through your lungs rather than coming back up from your stomach, so the standard methods of combating the smell just won't work. As long as you're breathing, the sulfur will keep getting excreted until it's gone. \n\nSounds like this is not likely to be your problem, but just on the off chance it helps...\n"
},
{
"query": "Yo. I'm an 18 year old guy. I just got a new job, and there are mostly guys there as well. There are a couple of guys I know already and I also hang out with them. However, outside of stupid jokes I don't know what to talk aboyt with them.\n\nIf you could help me telling me some of your favorite ice breakers/conversation topics that you use with your male friends, my self esteem will thank you endlessly.\n(I'm a dude) How do I make guy friends?",
"chosen": "Invite them to a beer after work. I had the same issue with my first work till one of them said \"Yo guys let's grab a beer, I'm paying\". And then just hang out with them.\n",
"rejected": "Ask if they are interested in going to a klan rally\n"
},
{
"query": "A lot of times when I hear love stories, I hear guys say, \"She's too good for me, she's out of my league\" or something of that effect. I'm wondering how many of you truly believe that. It might give me more confidence for going for girls that are out of my league.\nHow many of you feel that your partner is out of your league or vice versa?",
"chosen": "I had a boyfriend once that acted like I was out of his league, and he fawned on me constantly. I was not used to this. He so told me he thought that all of my exs were jock-types. That was definitely not the case. The thing was, he could have kept things like that to himself and exuded confidence, which is attractive. Instead he made it appear like he lacked confidence and it was a major turn off :(\n",
"rejected": "Nope. He is good looking, fit, kind, smart and funny, I'm just egotistical and think the same about myself...\n"
},
{
"query": "I just bought a new camera lens and it was pretty expensive. My SO would never understand why anyone would pay so much for a piece of glass so I just told her it was about a third of what I actually paid for it. Makes life so much easier and nobody really loses out. \n\nJust wondering what other white lies you tell your SO to make life easier? I'm not talking about cheating on her with the neighbours horse or stuff like that. Inconsequential half truths to smooth the waters is what I mean.\nWhat are the little white lies you tell your SO to make your life easier?",
"chosen": "My husband is always telling stupid little white lies to his mother, his sister and me. I am continually catching him in these lies and it frustrates the hell out of me. A lot of it is time related like \"I'll be there in 10 min\" or \"it will only take 30 min\" when he damn well knows that isn't true. He does it because he has always lied to his mother to appease her and his mother has always lied to her mother. So frustrating.\n",
"rejected": "\"I like talking to you when you're driving home.\"\n\nHate that shit. Eventually did tell her. She was not happy, but it stopped and we just talk when she *gets* home.\n"
},
{
"query": "Can be with relation to anything like \n\ninvestment ?\nRelationship ?\nJob ?\nHealth ?\n\n\nI really fucked my business up , had everything easy then got involved with bad people affected my mindset and lost track of things\nWhat are some of your biggest missed opportunities in your life ?",
"chosen": "I could have gone to a great University if I didn't screw up my senior year of high school\n",
"rejected": "Staring physical training earlier in life. I really wish I had started weightlifting and stuff like fencing or dancing far earlier than I did.\n"
},
{
"query": "In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.\n\nI know it’s just a stereotype that men constantly want sex and women always turn it down. However, am I doing something wrong?\n\nI’m fine with a 2-3 times a week. We have needs.\nMen, how often do you want to have sex?",
"chosen": "maybe 1 once a month if they want to\n",
"rejected": "*In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.*\n\n*However, am I doing something wrong?*\n\nAre you initiating the sex, or are you just waiting for him to take the lead and when he doesn't you assume he doesn't want to have sex? It's quite possible he did want more sex but thought you didn't, so he didn't bother trying.\n\nLikewise, guys will sometimes avoid it if they're stressed, not feeling great, etc. Not necessarily because they don't want it, but because they're worried they won't be able to perform and it'll be very embarrassing.\n"
},
{
"query": "I am getting married and I have 9 groomsmen. The best guys I know. \n\nI want to get them a gift as tradition. However I am lost on what to get them...\n\nTie? Maybe\nFlasks? Feels odd\nGift Cards to prestigious companies? I could do better\n\nI like uniqueness, I like creativity. \nWhat do you guys think?\nWhat should I get my groomsmen?",
"chosen": "Do you and your friends drink beer? How about a nice beer mug or glass engraved with their name? They can use it for years and think of you, and when you get together as a group they can all bring their glass.\n",
"rejected": "A guy I know got all his groomsman like leatherman's and put them in nice wooden boxes. If it's something they might use, maybe that. You could do nice liquor or beer, something that will actually get used.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm a flirtatious person by nature, and my guy friends and I always have an ongoing flirty relationship, it doesn't mean anything, it's just innocent fun. I've been in a relationship for some time now, and when my boyfriend isn't around (and sometimes he is) my guy friends and I continue this flirty attitude. My guy friends know I have a boyfriend and most of them know him, so they're not dicks about it and they never take it far enough for me to feel like I should stop it. We've just been friends for so long it just feels normal and harmless. I'm just wondering though if that's still inappropriate?\nWould it bother you if your girlfriend accepted innocent flirting from her guy friends when you weren't around?",
"chosen": "There is no 100% innocent flirting. If you guys are ok with that, then fine, but flirting by it's very nature is to build sexual tension and test waters. \n\nOne of the two involved in the flirtations will likely remember it at some time as an invitation to escalate. You may have no intentions to, but I think it's inappropriate.\n\nIf I'm in a relationship with a woman I still have female friends, and we joke and we kid, but I don't flirt.\n",
"rejected": "Guys don't flirt innocently. End of story.\n"
},
{
"query": "We currently rent so I have basic maintenance tools: screwdriver set, hammer, etc. I’m talking about things like:\n\n- Mower, string trimmer, blower \n- Cordless drill/driver \n- CO detector\n- Fire extinguisher\n\n\nWhat do you wish you had gotten for your first house before you truly needed it?\nWhat do you wish you had bought for your first house before you realized you needed it?",
"chosen": "Not house specific but a new place specific a plunger. You need it when you need it friend.\n",
"rejected": "I wish I'd have just said fuck it and gutted the bitch right then and lived with my parents till I got it all done. \n\nRe modelling while living in a place especially with kids, is a motherfucking bitch.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm only 28 and I have a big belly already . I am a programmer and I hear sitting down all the time can cause that to happen but I've been exercising since last year and this thing just won't go down. How did you get rid of yours?\nBros that had bellies and got rid of them how did you do it",
"chosen": "Beyond exercising how’s your diet going? In terms of losing weight, that’s a much more important factor imo\n",
"rejected": "It's just deposited fat - men tend to store fat on their bellies, and in some men this gets more true as they age (and people who abuse steroids often get \"roid gut\" from it).\n\nSome men store fat almost exclusively on their belly and so as they gain weight they remain skinny everywhere except their bellies, which become disproportionately large.\n\nYou have simply gained weight, and you only need to lose weight, which is a simple matter of eating a diet with more nutrition but less food energy.\n"
},
{
"query": "Have you ever dated/been in a relationship with a girl who seemed to be too available? Example: always seemed to be free to see you, would accommodate your needs, and was somewhat over-complimentary? Can a girl be \"too nice\"? \n\nConversely, do you know any guys who are like this? Although I don't think general niceness is a flaw per se, it can translate as desperate and needy, as if a person who acts like this is not confident in themselves and tends to get walked all over. I'm not talking about being a gentleman, because there's a difference between being a gentleman and being over-compensating. \n\nJust want to hear your two cents on the matter. I've been in some crappy relationships in the past and grew up in a household with parents who didn't love each other. I am trying to figure out why sometimes I find nice guys to be a turn off. It makes no sense in my brain, and I'm trying to adjust my thought process to be able to appreciate a nice guy. \n\nAdditionally, would you tell a girl/guy to be more assertive? Should they have to change themselves or alter how they handle things to avoid these perceptions from people and how they get walked all over?\nWhen is \"too nice\" a bad thing?",
"chosen": "My dad has always been self centered and needs constant praise, always talks about himself and never asks about anyone else. He's ten years sober (which is awesome). I didn't have much of a relationship with him because my mother bad mouthed him incessantly for my entire life growing up. Literally every, single, day of my youth. A therapist told me to distance myself from my mother, and it made me realize my moms actually a pretty horrible, judgmental, unconfident, selfish, hateful person. My dad and I are okay but I don't really talk to either of my parents. (I left home at 18, im 27 now)\n",
"rejected": "Nice becomes too nice when she doesn't stand up for what she wants or thinks and she is making too much sacrifices, all the while bottling up frustration. Too nice endangeres a relationship because of the emotional distance of pent-up emotion.\n"
},
{
"query": "If someone you liked a lot told you they have an STD, in a very honest and intimate setting, would you back out?\n\n** One that you cant cure\nAre STDs a deal breaker for you?",
"chosen": "Depends on the kind.\n",
"rejected": "If it's curable (bacterial) no, I'll wait until the antibiotics have run their course to touch her, but no. \n\nHIV: Yes. I know you can live with it, but I'd really rather not fuck with something that absolutely will kill you if untreated. \n\nHerpes: No.\n\nThis one needs some explaining. Herpes gets a bad rep. Yes, it's viral and can never be fully cured, but it does radically diminish in outbreak frequency, severity, and likelihood of transmission over time. If someone has gotten herpes in the last year, I'd be super concerned. But if it was like 5 years ago, and more than a year since an outbreak, then I'm probably ok, as long as I felt like they were responsible enough to know if there was an outbreak, and take their antiviral meds.\n\nThat being said, I'd prefer to not have to deal with it.\n"
}
] | 5
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000015497207641601562,
"logprob2": -14.25,
"signal": 14.249998450279236
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00015926361083984375,
"logprob2": -6,
"signal": 5.99984073638916
}
| -8.250158
| 6
|
2368
|
[
{
"query": "I'm 22 years old. I work as a web dev, I have no degree yet (was in conscription till last year, Israel), this is a job I landed purely on self practice and because it's an interest of mine. I read books, I'm an avid fan of music, I'm learning to play guitar, I have long-term goals in life. I like coming up with ideas, I love movies, I love learning how things work. \n \nBut generally, I'm not a very good conversation. I'm not sure where the barrier is. I meet up with people, and generally I love listening more than talking, unless someone is finally interested in something that I'm passionate about, which is so, so rare, that normally I don't talk much about what I like to do because it bores people. They nod and agree, say \"that's cool\", but I can see the look on their face that say it's their politeness talking. \n \nWhen I ask other people about what they do, they usually tell me about it in a short, uninviting sentence, I try to inquire more and be interested but they mostly shut me out and give me straight, short answers. \n \nWhat am I doing wrong? I can't have a good conversation for the life of me. It's not an anxiety problem, I have no problems talking to people. I look into their eyes, I don't shy around. I'm no better when texting, so it's not that I can't handle the face to face part. Phone calls are usually awkward or straight to the point, I don't like talking on the phone much. I'd prefer face to face. But I suck at it. \n \nWhat do I do?\nGuys, how can I be less boring?",
"chosen": "Nope, not too much. At least I don't think so. My best stuff are usually quotes ):\n",
"rejected": "keeping up on current events helps... read the news, develop your opinions on things so you can speak about them when the subject comes up.\n\nIt also helps to have a sort of off beat hobby or something you are into. Thats not a must, but if you do something out of the ordinary folks will want to know about it, or how you got into. Like bee keeping or something haha. Music is fine, but a lot of people play instruments, not terribly interesting. Now if you collect something interesting thats cool.\n\nJust some ideas.\n"
},
{
"query": "My inner circle of friends is too... let's say sausagy... Too many sports bars, hikes, camping trips, and playing sports have led me to a scenario where me and my guy friends hang out with far more guys than we do ladies.\n\nWhat hobbies, events, or fun things that we'd enjoy can we plan where our female friends will want to show up too?\nWhat are some events/hobbies/things that are usually thought of as \"for women\", but men wouldn't mind doing too?",
"chosen": "Honestly? Spa days, manicures, that sort of thing. I’ve ever done it before but it sounds like a great time\n",
"rejected": "Yoga classes\n"
},
{
"query": "No matter how much I clean after a shave, my sink is still covered in little hairs. Any recommendations for reducing the problem, or cleaning it after?\nWhat's the best way to deal with all the trimmings from when I shave?",
"chosen": "Do it over the toilet. \n\nFlush. Done.\n",
"rejected": "So I don't clean shave I trim with an electric razor every few weeks so there's a lot of hair. I take a trash bag, and I unfold it but I don't open it and I drape it over the bathroom sink and then press down so there's a bit of a divit to collect the hairs. I trim my beard and then carefully wad up the trash bag with the hairs inside and throw it away. Clean and easy.\n"
},
{
"query": "I just got back from the gym and took a shower after a shower because I biked home. Move a heavy box 20 meters? Sweat. Carry a bike two flights of stairs? Sweat. Do you guys also break a sweat easily?\nHow easily do you break a sweat, my dudes?",
"chosen": "My dude, I sweat recreationally. I'm super conscious of the thickness of blanket that I sleep with at night, always know which shirt fabrics feel like what. My body's testy with heat regulation, maybe it lessens with time. I hope haha.\n",
"rejected": "I heard that getting fit can actually make you sweat more as your body gets more efficient at dealing with body heat.\n"
},
{
"query": "I just sneezed suddenly while brushing my teeth and now my bathroom looks like a teenage boy lives here. \n\nWhat dumb happenstance has got you on the ropes today?\nWhat incredibly minor inconvenience has you ready to call it a day today?",
"chosen": "I'm feeling really sick but people at work keep messaging me to do stuff.\n",
"rejected": "The week before christmas is labelled \"no meeting week\"\n\nGuess how many meetings I had today? (Hint: More than 1)\n"
},
{
"query": "My girlfriend turned down my proposal, then a few days later asked if I would buy out her share of the house.\n\nI took this to mean that she was going to break up with me.\n\nHowever, she still hasn't decided if she can be with me long term. I don't want to lose her but at the moment we're in between a relationship and being housemates.\n\nDid anyone here continue living with their SO after a breakup due to joint ownership of the house? How did you handle everything?\n We've been together 9 years so are tied up in some ways.\nHow did you continue living together with an SO after a relationship breakdown due to joint house ownership?",
"chosen": "why the hell did you guys buy a house if you weren't going to get married? this shit fucking baffles me.\n\n&#x200B;\n",
"rejected": "It blows my mind that people are foolish enough to buy a house with someone they’re not married to. To anyone reading this who’s considering doing something similar, don’t do it!\n"
},
{
"query": "I spent this Thanksgiving with family, as is typical. I was sitting in my grandmothers living room next to my eleven-year-old cousin. My aunt then came in to the room to sit down and my cousin shifted over to sit on my lap.\n\nI found myself a bit uncomfortable with this. Certainly she has sat on my lap before, but I found myself questioning if this wasn't inappropriate given her age. She's small for her age and is often treated as if she's younger, and she consequently behaves like a younger child. But, still, she's eleven years old.\n\nI didn't say anything at the time because I didn't want to create a scene, but in the future I'll probably not let her do that. In fact, I shifted her to my leg and she repositioned directly into my lap again. I understand that there's nothing untoward going on there, but I'm concerned how it might appear to others.\n\nAm I being unreasonable?\nHow old is too old for a child to sit on your lap; or when does the physical contact situation change between an adult and child?",
"chosen": "My 12 and 13 year old daughters sit on my lap all the time. I see no problem with this.\n",
"rejected": "If you're uncomfortable with it, you aren't being unreasonable. However, I don't think it's unreasonable for her to act this way, especially, as you said, she's young for her age.\n\nMy (much younger) cousin was also a bit of a late bloomer and used to climb all over me and be very affectionate until he was like 12. Then puberty hit and he stopped doing it altogether.\n"
},
{
"query": "This is a subject that was brought to my attention from a TV show. A lady mentioned something regarding bad pussy or it being broken, which was the reason she say she can't get a man. I was just curious what other men thought on this. Is there such a thing as bad pussy to you, and if so, what factors determine that to you?\nIs there a such thing as \"Bad Pussy\" to you, if so what are some of the factors do you use to determine that?",
"chosen": "There was one girl that felt like my dick needed to be tunacan shaped to fit right.... Loose and shallow. It was odd.\n",
"rejected": "I hooked up with a girl that was way too tight and it was too painful for her so it didn't last long enough to be fun. Another girl didn't have any labia, weirdest shit I've seen, and then she was really scientific about sex...\n"
},
{
"query": "I do admin for my company and sit at the front desk so I always receive our packages. I'd like to receive a different package, if you're picking up what I'm putting down. \n\nI'm all for being forward and not waiting for the guy to make the first move. We always make eyes at each other but he's only ever in for a minute or so. Today he complimented my shoes so I think he wants to bone. \n\nI normally would just ask a guy if he wanted to grab a drink sometime, but it feels weird in this situation being that I'm at work and he's working too. All I can think of are inappropriate, bad jokes about receiving packages that I wouldn't actually say anyway.\nHow do I ask out the FedEx guy at work?",
"chosen": "Bend and snap?\n",
"rejected": "This is how my parents met. Mom was at front desk, dad was UPS man. So I suggest changing delivery services to UPS and then hitting on *that* guy.\n\nBut in all seriousness you could just ask him if he wants to grab a drink sometime. If you sign for packages make some small talk \"any plans for the weekend\" and then say \"if your free and want to grab a drink heres my number\" or something.\n"
},
{
"query": "If you love her personality, and find parts of her body attractive, but she's a little heavier or bonier than you'd prefer.. would you still date her? Why/why not?\nDoes a woman's figure make a big difference to you?",
"chosen": "men are picky women have standards\n\nis something i hear a lot and it always rubs me the wrong way.\n",
"rejected": "Only the top 10% of men can afford to be ultra picky in the woman's body department.\n"
},
{
"query": "During is okay too...and I know “weird” is subjective so I guess what I mean is weird to you, or something that came out unexpectedly that maybe you never said before.\nWhat is the weirdest thing you said during sex, specifically at the end?",
"chosen": "My gf once tried to say fuck me daddy and fumbled the words and came out as \"faddy\". I figured out what happened and just replied \" ya you like this fatty dont ya?\".\n",
"rejected": "I once yelled at my Bf during sex to “stuff me like a turkey”. We died laughing.\n"
},
{
"query": "Hi Men :)\n\nMy boyfriend has just taken care of me so well. He insisted I go to the doctor, carried me in as I was very dizzy, listened to my awful symptoms, made sure I got the medication I needed then over the next few days he has helped me bathe, use the bathroom, taken care of my pets and been my absolute saviour. \n\nA very good example- I fainted in the parking lot as he was carrying me to the car and it was terrifying but even as I lost consciousness he was there comforting me.\n\nI'm so in love with him it hurts my heart, and I want to thank him. \n\nHow can I convey how much he means to me and how thankful I am that he was there for me? \n\nWhat would make you feel appreciated and special after helping someone so much? \n\nThank you for your help :)\nMy boyfriend has taken care of me as I was unwell- how do I thank him? Everything I think of seems pathetic after I think of how he helped me.",
"chosen": "Neither do I. Regardless if I give it or receive it. Blowjobs are the best!\n",
"rejected": "Make him dinner.\n\nGet him a case of his favorite beer.\n\nTell him you appreciate everything he did for you.\n\nReturn the favour when you are able.\n\n\nDon't feel like you owe him a life debt cause nothing you can do will make up for that feeling. Thank him in a way that's meaningful for him and return the favour when you're able.\n"
}
] | 8
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000015497207641601562,
"logprob2": -9.125,
"signal": 9.124998450279236
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000014185905456542969,
"logprob2": -4.375,
"signal": 4.3749858140945435
}
| -4.750013
| 3
|
20393
|
[
{
"query": "I still sometimes get uncomfortable around some men when I’m not wearing a bra. \n\nI don’t like wearing bras 99% or the time, so I don’t. I usually don’t shy away from shirts the clearly show I’m not wearing a bra. I’ll wear skin colored crop tops without a bra and sometimes the shirts even have nipple indentation. \n\nI hate that breasts are sexualized which is why idc to wear a bra but sometimes around certain men I really feel uncomfortable. It’s usually old men. \n\nAny advice on how to not feel this way?\nTrying to be more breast positive but…",
"chosen": "Them, whispering: \"Excuse me, but i can see your nipples\"\n\nYou, loudly: \"WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT MY CHEST, CREEP?!\"\n\nAlmost guaranteed to make them back the fuck up and rethink their life choices when you make them the spectacle.\n",
"rejected": "I think it just takes some getting used to along with a little confidence and a \"I don't give a fuck what you think\" attitude.\n\nI've never had anyone point it out to me, but I also have rather small breasts (thank the gods) I also tend to be quite oblivious too though, like when my husband and I are out he is the one who notices guys checking me out, I never do.\n\nOh wait! I actually just remembered one time where someone did say something, this is going back to high school I was told I had to wear a bra by a teacher and sent to the office, they called my mom in, and she cursed them out for wasting her time. I still never wore a bra either.\n"
},
{
"query": "So I'm a trans woman and I don't really pass. Maybe on a good day with lots of work but certainly not on a day where I'm stressed out and rushing around just to be able to pick my daughter up on time. About a week or so ago I picked her up from pre-school and one of the kids a year or so older than her asked why I had a pony tail. I knew what she was _actually_ asking but I just said to hold my hair back. She then said I looked like a daddy and I just forced a chuckle and said \"well I'm not\" as I rushed my daughter out the door.\n\nSomeday soon we're going to have to talk with the LO about how I'm not like other moms. It just makes me sad to think that she's going to face adversity because of me. About how the other kids at school will treat her because of me. About how the neighbor kids might not have come to her party because they attend a school that won't take her because her \"dad\" dresses like a woman. About how DeSantis may declare trans parents a danger to their kids and send CPS to collect her. (None of which I'm going to tell her but they're definitely things that are on my mind).\n\nAnyway, just a vent. Sure wish we lived in a world where my problems didn't then become her problems.\nSomeday, probably fairly soon, my wife and I are going to have to have a discussion with our LO about how one of her mommies isn't like other mommies and I'm not looking forward to it.",
"chosen": "There’s a lot of great advice already here. But I wanted to add: I’m a cis woman who doesn’t always “pass” as female on a frazzled toddler filled day. There are such unreasonable expectations of what woman looks like sometimes. Questions about why is this mommy big, or why does that mommy have gray hair, or why is that mommy really tall… are all really normal things for kids to point out. Sometimes just a celebratory “ isn’t it great we are all different!” Is a reasonable response to that observation.\n",
"rejected": "I’m sorry you’re going through this. For what it’s worth, I’m a cis mother in a very red state. My daughter is 6. She knows that trans people exist, and that someone is a boy or girl if they say they are, regardless of how they look. She knows sometimes people are born and their parents think they have a son or daughter, but when the kids gets older, they realize that they’re different in their heart. All this to say, even if your child has to deal with kids who don’t understand, or are cruel, there’s also a large possibility she’ll have kids who will support her. It’s hard to see when things are so bleak, but there are people with open minds scattered all throughout these red areas. And we tend to find each other. You’re a good mom. Lots of love to you and your family. ❤️\n"
},
{
"query": "This isn't for people who were in relationships with abusers, first off. This post is for the women who left long\\-term relationships \\(5 years or longer\\) which were at the very least \"OK\", maybe even fairly decent.\n\nI am currently in a stable long term relationship like that where we get along well enough but our relationship is kind of shallow. He's a decent enough guy but emotionally, he just doesn't have the depth. Every now and then he can go deeper but otherwise that's just not how he's built and nothing is probably going to change that. He doesn't really think about thing deeply, he's not overly introspective, and as he's gotten older most of his friendships have fallen away but even those were shallow as well \\(main activities they did were going out to restaurants, bars, and clubs or gaming\\). He's the funny guy, \"Mr. Good Time\", but not the person people confide in with serious issues. It comes across as kind of a lack of maturity.\n\nHe's a simple creature and while that worked for a long time, I fear that if I were to meet a man with the emotional depth to \"speak my language\" that I would end up leaving him. The problem is, I love the guy to death but these needs of mine remain unmet and no amount of communication about it is going to change his fundamental inability to be more emotionally capable. So far I have stayed because of my attachment to him but also because I wonder if I would regret leaving him later in a kind of you\\-don't\\-know\\-what\\-you\\-had\\-until\\-it's\\-gone sort of way.\n\n...So I'm looking to hear the experiences of other 30\\+ women who've done it, left, and what it was like. Thank you in advance!\nTo those who have left an \"OK\" LTR (5+ years) after 30",
"chosen": "I had unmet emotional needs with my ex fiance. He was great on paper -- very handsome, smart, great job, nice, he was the best sex I've ever had, even now -- but I just couldn't connect with him on a deeper emotional level, and we wouldn't have the kind of deeper, more intimate conversations that I craved. For me, it felt like such an on-the-surface relationship, and it was, because he was a simple guy. There were a few other things too, but this was a major reason as to why I broke up with him. I've never regretted my decision one bit, especially because after him, I met the man that truly did fulfill all my needs. If I had not broken up with my fiance, I would have been unhappy, perpetually wondered \"What if there's someone else out there for me?\" and would have eventually gotten a divorce.\n",
"rejected": "Wow, you sound incredibly judgemental. You are blaming this man for not being what you want him to be. You are making yourself out to be the one who is being wronged, but it sounds more like he's a decent, content guy who has an unappreciative partner. \n\nIf you want to leave him, leave him. But don't make out like it's his fault.\n"
},
{
"query": "I was just in town and saw my forensics professor arm in arm with her love, and their teenage daughter or niece was walking with a rainbowbag right next to them, telling them enthusiastically about something and the other two laughed out loud, then kissed and i thought: \"YES you women are SO great! Damn, it makes my heart jump seeing you all so happy!\"\nCan i just ask how fucking cute are lesbian families?!",
"chosen": "As a pregnant lesbian I am happy to see this message :)\n",
"rejected": "👉🏽👈🏽 is it weird that I 29f, never heard of real witches. But I want to find a single female witch to spoil with crystals and build her her own room for an altar. I just want to be the Gomez to a beautiful queen witch Morticia. 🤷🏽♂️ idk if what I typed makes sense 🤣🤣🤣\n"
},
{
"query": "What services are you offering? What goods are you stocking?\n\nTagged with Marketplace, albeit imaginary :)\nYou wake up tomorrow morning with the desire, will, and means to open your own witchcraft emporium. What are you selling?",
"chosen": "Responsibly sourced incense and herbs.\n\nMost people don't know when you add basil to food, you're casting a prosperity spell.\n",
"rejected": "Books, divination tools, candles, crystals, herbs, and a cafe will offer coffee and tea (with vegan milks and creamers offered at no extra charge and seasonal flavors offered all-year-round) and the usual cafe snacks and treats. Also not for sale but there will also be lots of big comfy couches, chairs and cushions to sit / lay down on and two store cats providing company to anyone who wants it.\n"
},
{
"query": "My name is Sasha and I started HRT 2 days ago and just wanted somewhere to share it. Ive been lurking for a while and this sub has always felt like a great and welcoming community and so I thought I would share it here. Anybody got advice for some fuckin gender magic?\nJust started HRT!!!!",
"chosen": "Congratulations! I started a couple of weeks ago, myself.\n\nPerhaps I do have advice: see bureaucracy as magic. Going through legal change of name proceedings and getting your jurisdiction to acknowledge your correct gender can be an involved process, but look at it this way: You're inscribing the correct symbols, saying the correct incantations to the right people, and changing the entire way you are perceived. <3\n\nI hope your username is less correct by the day.\n",
"rejected": "I am envious, I want to start HRT as well but need to get my husband on board first. He is only starting to accept my name as Ursa, it may be a while. Being a \"gay man\" is a huge part of his identity, but when we talk about gender, he relates a lot to being non-binary. I am hoping he can come to see himself as a queer person and that even if I am a woman, we are still a queer couple.\n"
},
{
"query": "A year or so ago my spouse of 10 years did something pretty ugly to me during a moment of intimacy, and when I confronted him about it he broke down and said he was questioning his gender. Needless to say, his coming out ended up being traumatic for both of us. But I felt like we talked through it.\n\nThen things stagnated. He was stressed and needed time so I left it alone. At the time I wasn't too bothered. Mostly I was just relieved to know what was going on. I love him completely so I thought anything would be OK.\n\nYesterday my spouse said he's done some serious thinking and has decided he's gender fluid. Still basically considers himself male but has a strong desire towards femininity and cuteness and wants girl clothes. Also he's uncomfortable being called my husband.\n\nTo my surprise what I felt was the strongest wave of rejection I've ever experienced in my life. My whole mind and body just went \"NO DO NOT WANT THIS\" and I cried myself to sleep.\n\nHe's never been the most masculine person but the things I love about him physically are the masculine bits, I've been proud to have him as my husband, and I feel like I'm not allowed to anymore. I want to be the cute one. I want a big strong man. It hurts so much, I love him but I just can't handle this all of a sudden and I don't know what to do.\nI'm Struggling Way More Than I Thought",
"chosen": "It’s perfectly ok not to stay in this relationship. That is a valid choice. Meanwhile, you should look into counseling for you.\n",
"rejected": "Your feelings are very valid, but you need to tell him about this. When I came out, it was very hard on both of us. Communication is what helped us (and still helps us) through.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nThen, when you are feeling better, remember that you are gaining an even greater bond to him. You can go clothes shopping together and maybe find a way to have your wardrobe and his where they're different but compliment each other.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nMy husband was never big on calling me wife, so this might not help. However, titles we've used since then are partner, mate, and friend.\n\nI'm nonbinary or what I like to call myself, 50% squiggle. I'm not fluid, but I am okay with he/him and they/them pronouns while dressing more masc.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nIt may take your spouse some time to figure out if he leans more one way than another, but this is hard on you as well, so tell him that. Tell him you were upset last night and why. Tell him that you want to support him but in doing so fear you might lose some part of yourself. It isn't negative. It's realistic.\n\nTransition, medical or not, is hard on everyone, especially those closest to the one coming out.\n\nYour feelings are valid. YOU are valid. Sit him down and talk. These will be hard conversations. There will be tears. Though I hope that, in the end, you'll both have a better understanding of each other.\n\nAll the best.\n"
},
{
"query": "Hello! Still asking a lot of questions as I process all of this- and one of the things I realized was...Wait a minute! If I am a cis female who is straight, who is dating a MtF woman (but the first 3 years of our relationship was straight)...then am I a lesbian or something else entirely?\n\nI am a triplet- and one of my triplet sisters is lesbian. She's always been known as that person- and I have always been known to be boy crazy..but since meeting and falling for my partner 3 years ago and coming to the conclusion he may be trans...well, am I a lesbian? and if so, would I be \"fake\" lesbian in a sense that I wouldn't ever consider this with another woman? \n\nI think womens forms are attractive, but a vagina has always been gross to me. I own one and its a pain in the ass. I don't want to deal with another one. My partner is sure that they will NOT be having bottom surgery for a multitude of reasons and stands very firmly on the issue. so...sex wise they still have a penis- which is a male phalic form. \n\nI am just so confused. They are a woman, but with male sex organs, despite their GENDER being a woman. so..if its sexual compatibility- should I been looking at the sex, or the gender, when thinking about what ever the hell my label now might be?\n\nDoes it even really matter..? I am just lost on the topic. help!\nAm I a Lesbian if I am dating a MtF trans woman?",
"chosen": "Well first of all, trans women are real women, so dating one doesn't make anyone a \"fake\" lesbian. \n\nHowever, since you also still have attraction to men, you wouldn't be a lesbian, but either bisexual, pansexual, or something else along those lines, *probably*.\n",
"rejected": "My amab spouse is non binary so I call myself an accidental lesbian. I’ve always been bi-ish so I’m not bothered at all.\n"
},
{
"query": "We are blessed to have family who love to spoil our kids with toys. How do you keep your living room tidy? Our two year olds toys are getting out of control. We are in a two story House with his room on the second floor, so him playing in his room exclusively isn't really an option.\nKeeping your living room tidy - advise needed",
"chosen": "We have an ottoman that doubles as the toy box. In addition I have all the toys separated into 7 big plastic bins and numbered. One fresh bin for every day of the week in theory. So every day, my kids have \"fresh\" toys to play with. The bins fit in the ottoman so I don't have to dump the toys in--- just set the bin inside and take the lid off. And there is never more than 1 bins worth of toys in the living room at a time. Which is quite manageable. Every few months as we get gifts, the bins start to get stuffed and we do a big purge. I have 1 keep-box per kid for toys that have sentimental Value and I want to save for when they're older. That's up in the closet. Toy management is a big deal for me! And I have found the effort to be worth it. It is work to rotate the toys daily (sometimes I skip a day-- no big deal) but the freshness of the toys does seem to stimulate/occupy the kids and give me a little extra breathing room. If you do plan on a system like this, clear bins are key cause sometimes they really want a specific toy and you can find it easily if the bins are clear. The best part is knowing that all the toys will fit into that ottoman if I need to tidy up in a hurry.\n",
"rejected": "We rotate toys, that way her older toys will seem fresh again. Then, big messes during the day that impede walking (like dumped crayons) I make a game to get her to pick them up (\"can you find all the blue crayons?\"). Finally, our routine is as soon as we put her to bed we pick up the rest of the living room\n"
},
{
"query": "My husband wants our 6 year old daughter to “be the best” and is constantly pushing her to learn more. She is very bright and learning comes easy but she’s a kid and she wants to have fun not constantly be doing educational activities. This summer he strictly pushed that she must do 3 “lessons” with him per day in subjects like math, geography, reading, and music (he has her practice her guitar which she takes once-weekly formal lessons for). I thought he would give her a break once actual school started but today was her first day of school and when she got home he was already telling her she needs to do lessons. I told him she just was at school all day where they do 2 hours of math per day and you want her to do more math? Besides the fact that it’s too much, I just don’t see the point in having her learn far ahead of the class? He is so insistent on this and I can’t seem to talk him out of it. Do you think he’s being a jerk about this or is this just “good parenting”? Any advice?\nIs my husband being a jerk? What would you do?",
"chosen": "I strongly recommand \"Free to learn\", written by Peter Gray, on this subject\n",
"rejected": "Sorry, but I think he is absolutely a jerk.\n\nI was a straight A's kid, or at least I did my best in school. I could not get a B otherwise there would be punishments (sometimes physical unfortunately). So I hated that experience and when I started being on my own (when I was in university) I started failing.\n\nI hated my experience as a kid and if there's one thing I will for sure do differently than my parents, is to never pressure my kids about school. I know they will have a hard time if they won't study enough, but I want it to be their choice, not mine so they can't blame me the same I blame my parents.\n"
}
] | 4
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000015497207641601562,
"logprob2": -7,
"signal": 6.999998450279236
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000026345252990722656,
"logprob2": -9.25,
"signal": 9.24997365474701
}
| 2.249975
| 5
|
8777
|
[
{
"query": "I feel like I would work at an oil change place, just to learn the in and outs of an engine and use my hands in being productive.\nIf you were given $5M a year AS LONG AS you work an entry level or min wage job for 20 hours a week, what job would you work?",
"chosen": "Welcome to Walmart. Get your shit and get out.\n",
"rejected": "I would be the worst beer salesman in the history of Yankee stadium, Fenway park, Wrigley, and any other stadium that will tolerate me not selling beer and watching baseball for free. Then in fall/winter I switch to \"selling\" beer at NBA games.\n"
},
{
"query": "Growing up I always wondered what my brother and his friends did when he had someone sleep over. What are guys sleepovers like?\nWhat are guy sleepovers like?",
"chosen": "what are *girl* sleepovers like?\n\n\nguy ones are just video games and shittalking the entire night.\n",
"rejected": "We would always drink a shitload of cough syrup and fucking trip balls.\n"
},
{
"query": "Just for the sake of saving a lot of answers, try not to say stuff like \"that gay people don't deserve rights\" etc. It's safe to say that the vast majority of the people on /r/AskMen agree with you, and I don't really want to create a circlejerk in this thread.\nWhat is a common opinion/viewpoint that you see a lot of that you strongly disagree with?",
"chosen": "Marriage being a good thing or something that ought to be achieved. Getting married in this day and age as a male is nothing short of foolishness.\n",
"rejected": "Nice guy syndrome is inherently malicios.\n\nIts not 'I am being nice to her why isnt she having sex with me??' because he feels entitled to it, its because they believe thats the way things are done.\n\nI know because i was there at one point in my life.\n\n\nAlso that feminism is good or positive. Its a women's empowerment group that lies about being for equality. What they do doesnt bother me, its that they claim to support men's issues, which in practice they never do. Or they display mens issues as actually part of a worse issue for women that happens to hurt men\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm a flirtatious person by nature, and my guy friends and I always have an ongoing flirty relationship, it doesn't mean anything, it's just innocent fun. I've been in a relationship for some time now, and when my boyfriend isn't around (and sometimes he is) my guy friends and I continue this flirty attitude. My guy friends know I have a boyfriend and most of them know him, so they're not dicks about it and they never take it far enough for me to feel like I should stop it. We've just been friends for so long it just feels normal and harmless. I'm just wondering though if that's still inappropriate?\nWould it bother you if your girlfriend accepted innocent flirting from her guy friends when you weren't around?",
"chosen": "There is no 100% innocent flirting. If you guys are ok with that, then fine, but flirting by it's very nature is to build sexual tension and test waters. \n\nOne of the two involved in the flirtations will likely remember it at some time as an invitation to escalate. You may have no intentions to, but I think it's inappropriate.\n\nIf I'm in a relationship with a woman I still have female friends, and we joke and we kid, but I don't flirt.\n",
"rejected": "Guys don't flirt innocently. End of story.\n"
},
{
"query": "Oh, sure, everyone knows the superhero they'd become, but we all know that the *real* movers and shakers are the bad guys. The ones with the plans. The ones who make things happen. Call up the henchmen and dust off the death ray, because it's bad guy o'clock.\nWhat supervillain do you want to be?",
"chosen": "Ozymandias. Because if I'm going to do evil shit, I'm not going to let the good guys even have the slightest possibility of a chance to stop me. So I'm going to initiate all evil plans 35 mins ahead of me boasting to them about it.\n",
"rejected": "The joker. Cause Harley Quinn.\n"
},
{
"query": "Do you like them? Why or why not? If you do, what's your favourite one? What do you think of women who enjoy them?\nHow do you feel about animated movies?",
"chosen": "I think that you enjoy animated movies. \n\nTitan A.E. is still awesome.\n",
"rejected": "I love Miyazaki and his works. Princess Mononoke is my favorite. Trust and Betrayal was incredible as well. \n\nDisney Pixar and Dreamworks is alright as well.\n\nMy opinion of fellow fans of Japanese animation are that we need to connect on more than just animation. It's a cool shared interest but a weak pillar to build a relationship on.\n\nMy opinion of girls who like those cutsey movies for the whole family is that you are basically the norm among Americans. I will accompany you begrudgingly but totally love about half of them.\n"
},
{
"query": "Battlefield 5?\n\nRed Dead Redemption 2? \n\nBlack Ops 4?\n\nPokémon Let’s Go Eevee And Pikachu?\n\nSuper Smash Bros Ultimate?\n\nGod of War\n\nSpider Man PS4\n\nAssassin’s Creed Odyssey\n\nSpyro\n\nFallout 76\n\nMonster Hunter World\n\nAnd if you have any of these games, how do you like them so far?\nWhat 2018 video games are you the most excited for?",
"chosen": "Kingdom hearts 3 in 2019. Also waiting for the western release of The Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel 3.\n",
"rejected": "None. Playing Cities Skylines currently (it's 100x better than any Sim game), and I guess I am looking forward to the next chapter of Life is Strange to go on Steam sale sometime next year.\n"
},
{
"query": "I am getting into dating recently and it is going really well so far. Since I really do not want get infected or infect him I thought of this. I do have access to quick-tests and would even provide them, but I feel this is like \"now that we have a test we need to kiss because in a few days we might have picked it up somewhere else\", enforcing the otherwise unpredictable \"right moment\". Also, of course I would not keep it up everytime we met, only for a period of time where we are unsure if we will meet up more frequently.\n\nHow would you feel about this? Overly careful? Overstepping a line? \n\nI am reluctant to ask him yet since we only met once and am probably thinking far too much ahead.\nHow would you feel about beeing asked for a negative Covid-test/getting shown one before kissing/getting close to each other?",
"chosen": "I think the logic is sound but unrealistic. If you're that worried about covid transmission, I would just wait on dating in person. Honestly, it's not going to be that much longer before the majority of the country is vaccinated.\n",
"rejected": "What about an aids test while we’re at it?\n"
},
{
"query": "The answers should be given with your age. So, \"14, how do I gain confidence?\" would be the question and \"33, by overcoming obstacles in life and appreciating what you have\" is the style of answer given.\nHow old are you, and what 1 question would you like answered?",
"chosen": "30, why are we here? just to suffer?\n",
"rejected": "30 and where can I get a Labrador sized stegosaurus?\n"
},
{
"query": "Does it really get you going? Or not so much? \n\nIt's a staple in porn, but I haven't had many partners want to do it.\nHow do you feel about titty fucking?",
"chosen": "I’m not a fan. Titty *sucking* on the other hand.\n",
"rejected": "I've done it once.\n\nThe physical act of it wasn't very pleasurable to me, but the mental aspect got me hard as diamonds.\n"
},
{
"query": "I mean in the same way we'll never understand what it's like to have a period, I don't think my wife will ever fully understand what it's like to have the pressure of being a provider...\nMen, what is something you think that your SO/wife won't understand?",
"chosen": "How my inclination to watch porn and jack off is in no way an indication of my attraction or desire to be with her.\n",
"rejected": "Starcraft. I tried to explain how great it is. I think she'll never get it.\n"
},
{
"query": "After losing nearly 10lbs this year, I'm just gotten back to the gym on a quest to regain that by summer of 2017. My meals plans includes the usual variety of protein sources, but in particular, I'm going for a lot of eggs (a local shop sells a pack of 30 for like £2.10). \n\nAs such, I'm trying new egg-based recipes - fritata's (ham, bell pepper, diced onion), scrambled with cream and butter (on toast) and my favorite, slow fried in olive oil then covered for a minute with a teaspoon of water added to the pan to set the yolk. Seasoned with salt, cracked pepper, dill, a pinch of pepper and a squeeze of lemon (if you've not had fried eggs with fresh lemon, drop everything and do this right now).\n\nSo yeah! I'm loving eggs right now - how do you guys like your eggs cooked?\nHey guys. How do you like your eggs?",
"chosen": "I love omelettes. Cheese, meat, broccoli, peppers. Salsa on top or on the side.\n\nAlso, tuna/egg salad is pretty good\n",
"rejected": "I'm a lady, but boyfriend makes these all the time\nJapanese scrambled sweet eggs. About 1 tbsp of each: sake, mirin, soy sauce or tamari. Add sliced green onions, ginger, garlic or whatever aromatic you'd like. Add all these to the eggs before you pour into the pan to scramble. Sure to impress like crazy.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'll start that I've found cycling to have an incredibly elitist community, one that's obsessed with spending money on the latest gear and bitching about everything.\n\nImprov is ok, a lot of great people but some really awkward socially unadjusted people.\n\nBrazilian Jiu Jitsu is a great community, I've heard some gyms can be elitist and unfriendly but the ones I've been in everyone is friendly and awesome and are really inspiring in the amount of effort they put into the sport.\nWhich hobbies have great communities and which hobbies have terrible communities?",
"chosen": "I love soccer but too many soccer fans here in the States are gigantic douches. Average fans of mls teams make me want to reconsider my interests.\n",
"rejected": "I've found swing dance communities in various cities to be very friendly and welcoming to newcomers. There can be a certain degree of hero worship, which causes a certain amount of issues, but overall I've had a lot of great experiences and made a lot of great friends.\n"
},
{
"query": "1. I started giving out compliments freely to all the men I meet \n\n2. I started doing the “wow this shirt look good on you” thing and it’s adorable that he always wears that shirt when we go out. (I like the shirt a lot so it it’s a win for me too)\n\n3. Flowers. Started buying & giving flowers instead of being the one receiving it. It’s cute when you watch a guy trying to figure out how to unwrap, realises he doesn’t have a vase, smell the flowers, look so happy. \n\n4. BJ tips here are 10/10 \n\n5. Touching. So much touching and kisses and random hugs\n\n6. I pretty much initiate everything. It feels amazing \n\n7. Interesting conversations\n\n8. Asked him to teach me things that he is good at but I’m not good at. Made him so happy !!!\nHow have askmen helped you?",
"chosen": "I do appreciate the redditors on here providing their perspectives, stories, and opinions on various topics. It allows me to see things from other points of view, and learn new things.\n\nIt is *not*, however, a place where I'd take advice from simply because AskMen is hardly representative of the male community.\n",
"rejected": "I feel less alone having a chance to share my loneliness with so many accepting loners. Like, seriously. It's been a weight off my shoulders, and now when my mind wanders down into the valley, I know I'm not the only man struggling down here.\n\nIt's made me want more for my heart.\n"
},
{
"query": "Women are often besieged with compliments they don't want, men are not given the compliments they ardently desire. \n\nSo guys, what compliment would you love someone to pay you? It can be anything, any aspect of yourself (and stuff like style or clothes), it doesn't matter who the complimenter is.\nMen, what compliment would make your day?",
"chosen": "Fine, i'll pretend to be female to make you happy\n",
"rejected": "I think compliments about my personality are my favorite to receive. I get complimented a couple times a week on my beard or shoes. But never about my character or personality so if someone said they enjoyed my kindness or my humor, or anything else like that it would mean the world to me.\n"
},
{
"query": "I don't really like girls with short hair. I have short hair myself, so I really should't complain. But girls with short have will always be less attractive to me compared to girls with long hair.\n\nThis isen't really something I bring up often because I think it makes me sound like an asshole.\nWhat is something physically you don't like in girls, that you aren't very vocal about?",
"chosen": "Really, any piercing that is not ear, belly button, or the little one in the side of the nose that isn't very noticeable.\n",
"rejected": "I have tattoos and love metal and punk. I don't like girls with tattoos or have the 'style' of someone who's into metal or punk.\n"
}
] | 13
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00012493133544921875,
"logprob2": -5.875,
"signal": 5.874875068664551
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000015497207641601562,
"logprob2": -6.25,
"signal": 6.249998450279236
}
| 0.375123
| 2
|
127501
|
[
{
"query": "This isn't something that I think has just one answer.\n\n Fashion is something that is really more than just clothing to me, and I think to many of the subscribers on this sub. It can be everything from self expression to art to self definition and more. As a designer and artist it is to me also a creative and constructive process. However, as I grow I have become more aligned with the ethics of fashion.\n\nThis is so dependent on what ethical means to the individual, and what is important ethically. Is it avoiding child labor, or avoiding plastics, or avoiding fast fashion? Environmentally ethical or ethical to humans?\n\nA lot of the discussion I see around ethics is centered around expensive, fair trade kind of clothes. But is shopping at thrift stores and only buying second hand just as valid?\n\nI am just really curious as to what other fashion oriented people prioritize when it comes to ethics intersecting with fashion.\nWhat does ethical fashion mean to you?",
"chosen": "Reduce your consumption, buy used wherever possible and then recycle (donate) what you no longer use.\n",
"rejected": "If you're concerned about ethics, but you ask to speak to a manager every time you face a minor issue you're not ethical. \n\nTreat retail employees like humans 2020\n"
},
{
"query": "I am having trouble finding new jeans for fall that are the right length. When shopping online it appears that the inseams are much shorter than they have been in the past (around 27-28 inches?). Has anyone else come across this? (I'd like a 30 inch inseam if anyone has suggestions).\nAre jeans shorter this season or is it me?",
"chosen": "Yuppp I’ve noticed this too. And I HATE it, because I have loooong lanky legs and super bony ankles and it just looks horrible. 😖\n\nLevi’s has a good selection of 30/32” inseam in store and even more online. GAP has online but I havent yet found any in stores. I’d go in though and try them on first then buy the longer one online. I literally bought two pairs of levi’s 711s two weeks apart. The black are a 26 waist and fir PERFECTLY. The “vintage wash” is a 27 and honestly they’re still a little too tight! Go figures. 🙄\n",
"rejected": "Yes, cropped above ankle is the new de facto skinny jean leg length. It started with everyone rolling their jeans to show ankles and I think that look took off in a big way. Showing ankles in general is just considered attractive in fashion right now, it feels.\n"
},
{
"query": "I am built like Jessica Simpson. Same big boobs, broad shoulders, and thick in the hip area. I am 5'6'' and 178lbs.\n\nI need help dressing my body. I'm like a 38DDD and have a giant rear but normal size legs. My stomach is definitely like an egg. I could get away with telling people I'm pregnant! I also have an ample rear which makes finding pants that fit difficult. Size US 10 is perfect for my legs but my bum doesn't even want to fit in 14's!\n\nI desperately want a 'look', but I hate how everything looks on me. I see some plus size girls who look SO cute, why can't I do that? \n\nAny curvy girls with similar features have any suggestions? I like empire waists but I tend to look to busty and looser fitted shirts or maxi dresses make me literally look like a bloated balloon. My bust size and broad shoulders make me look like a football player much of the time. \n\nI'd like some suggestions on cuts, styles, or stores good for some one like me. I really appreciate any help!\nI am built like Jessica Simpson- I am 27 years old and can't dress myself. Help!",
"chosen": "I'm not plus-sized but I AM very curvy, so I feel your pain on the pants. I'm not sure what your style is, but I draw a lot of inspiration from the wardrobe of Christina Hendricks' character on Mad Men. I've always felt that my shape is most complemented by dresses. If pants are more your speed, as a fellow bootylicious woman, I'd suggest at least a bootcut if not flared style. I also like to wear the trendy high-waisted style right now because it accentuates my relatively small waist and downplays the fullness of my lower body. You might also consider having clothes tailored to fit better, that way you can wear what you like.\n",
"rejected": "Sorry, but I don't think \"the more modern, womanly one she is now\" was really necessary. Are slimmer women deemed boyish and outdated? The phrasing struck me as rather rude. \n\nAnyhow, I often see Garcia of Criminal Minds in great outfits. She has a retro fashion style and the use of bold and bright colours makes it seem like she really embraces her body. Modcloth has a great selection of such clothes (even swimsuits!) that you should browse.\n"
},
{
"query": "So, I'm new to this sub, I read the rules, but I'm sorry if I'm doing something wrong! \n\nAnyway, I REALLY need help. I (may) have OCD, no official diagnosis though. But one thing that's common with OCD is having trouble wearing certain types of clothes, specifically tight clothing.\n\nSo for me, I have never worn a pair of jeans or anything super tight (I have worn tights, but only briefly for dress-up events). \n\nI ALWAYS dress in a t-shirt with sweatpants/yoga pants (not tight yoga pants, ones that are loose and hang like sweatpants). Also, I'll wear a sweater if needed.\nI only ever wear tennis shoes or sandals (I hate flip-flops, I have once or twice total worn fancy shoes for fancy occasions and I hated them). \n\nAnyway, I'm going into high school this year, and I want to dress nice. I was always the person who looked crappy, but I can't help it. Jeans and other things like it just feel so uncomfortable, I can't stand it. \n\nI usually don't even wear shorts because they often pull at my private area...Anything uncomfortable, I find it and extenuate it in my mind until I can't stand it. \n\nI know virtually nothing about hair, makeup, or fashion (what looks good). \n\nIs there any clothing that is loose-fitting and comfortable but still looks nice and will fit well?\n\n I dislike female clothing because it's usually made for fashion, not for comfort, but I'm hoping to find a nice medium...It has to be comfortable and school-appropriate, though.\n\n(Meaning no really short shorts, pretty lax on that though, and no showing above belly-button, that's about it.)\nNeed help finding comfortable but fashionable clothing?",
"chosen": "Do you have any issues with shirts as well? There's a woman I work with who often wears palazzo pants and a button down shirt and looks very put together, but also very comfortable. Her shirts are always neutral, and her pants are usually patterned (but not always). For just going into high school the button down may be a bit much, so maybe a nicely fitting shirt or tank top? if you go too baggy it can look like pajamas, so if you can wear maybe a nice necklace too, that can help. \n\nI personally find that nicely done hair makes more of an impact than makeup, so even if someone is wearing no makeup but put effort into their hair I find them more put together than people with a full face of makeup who look like they haven't brushed their hair in a month. That's more of a personal preference though, because I see a lot of girls on campus who do their makeup and walk around in pajamas and I just think it looks sloppy.\n",
"rejected": "Most high street and fast fashion brands now sell linen tees. They are pretty much the epitome of comfort, are generally cut loose, have great drape (so that the looseness looks intentional), and are comparatively durable. \n\nIf you can find a few pairs of pants Or some skirts that are comfy to you, get some linen tees to pair them with.\n"
},
{
"query": "I've recently finished Fire Emblem: Blazing Sword and liked how I was able to have my final endgame team comprise of mostly female characters. I was wondering if there were other rpg games like that? (I have a pc, 3ds, wii u, playstation 2, and an android phone if it's really worth it lmao) Bonus points if the game has a turn-based battle system.\nRPG games with playable female characters?",
"chosen": "FF Tactics on PS1 was great because women could be any class and--to my knowledge--have equal stats to male counterparts.\n",
"rejected": "- Child of light. \n\nNot turn based in the same way as FE, but it has a turn based x real time combat system and a female protagonist.\n"
},
{
"query": "I am a 32-year-old mother of 4. I have a mom body. It's weird and flabby, but it's mine and I just want to dress it properly. I have read the side bar. I understand most of this stuff in theory. However, I look at shirts and shoes, and I think, that looks great! Then I ask for an opinion, and turns out, it usually ugly to the masses. For instance, I saw (what I thought was) a great tunic that has cute bell sleeves with a nice v-neck cut. I thought, damn, I would look great in this! I showed it to my friend, and she said it was ugly and dated because of the sleeves. She's much more fashion forward than I am, so I take her advice to heart. Is fashion a learned thing? Are you ladies just innately equipped with the sense of what looks current and good? Also, I have the damnedest time dressing my body. I am an apple shape, so any pants that fit my stomach (I have almost no defined waist) are baggy in the butt and thighs. If it fits my butt and thighs, it won't even do up around my stomach. I am 5'5\" 215 lbs, and all tits and stomach, with an ass that's so flat, my husband lovingly refers to it as the \"paper cut on my lower back.\" Please FFA, tell me your secrets.\nFashion blindness?",
"chosen": "First of all, if you're aiming to dress your body properly, you should find something that you're gonna feel great in - not just size-wise, but style-wise as well. What makes you *you*? Forget being fashion-forward, fashion and trends change every few years, or even months nowadays. Really study the sidebar: what colors suit you best? What's your size? Have you a Pinterest board or can you otherwise show us what styles you like? Don't just concentrate on your flaws!\n\nFashion is very much a learned thing and it takes a lot of trial and error to get where you're going. What makes it worse is that it's fluid: your style will inevitably change over the years along with your wardrobe. I've been soul-searching and navel-gazing since I was 16ish. Now I'm 23 and I've finally built a cohesive, versatile wardrobe (obviously, those with more disposable income might take less time to find theirs). That's 7 years - a lot of trial, and a lot of error! And I'm still not done.\n\nAs for what looks current, it may not necessarily look good just because it's trendy, or look good *on* you. It's entirely up to you to decide what you like and dislike; don't wear something just because it's trendy and 'looks good on you (according to Aunt Petunia)'. And please don't feel limited by your body shape - remember that seasons and other categories are all man-made concepts and there's no way to say what's universally flattering and unflattering on some or all women, but it doesn't hurt to test it out for yourself and see what season/fruit/whatever you are just as a guideline, if nothing.\n\nSo, for a start, it'd be nice if you could tell us more about your style, what you like, etc. We'll give you some advice. Don't blindly follow it, just consider it. Then think long and hard about yourself as a person. Try a bunch of things on (multiple sizes, colors, cuts), experiment, see what looks the most pleasing to the eye. Think about what you're trying to convey with your clothing and whether the outfit/item you're trying on fits that image. Then, \n",
"rejected": "I have the same body shape as you, and I feel your pain. Finding pants that fit is REALLY hard. I patch and re-patch the ones that do fit until they are totally threadbare. Dresses with tights or leggings seem to work pretty well for me when I get tired of pants. Part of learning about fashion is wearing odd things and making mistakes. It's a process of exploration. I thrift a lot of clothes, to try new styles without spending much.\n"
},
{
"query": "Hey all. Had a quick search and realised there was no list of eBay tips here. We need one, right? Please post your own tips, hacks and tricks! \n\nMine include:\n\n* Setting up an 'under £2' search for my favourite stores - I have a glance at it from time to time, and it also appears on my eBay homepage\n* I search abroad when it helps: USA for 40s, 50s, 60s fashion, and France for French labels/brands I like\n* I use the minus sign to narrow down my searches. E.g. looking for Joseph clothes, I search 'Joseph -Ribkoff' to weed out all the Joseph Ribkoff stuff. It's also helpful if you want a particular item but want to weed out a certain colour, brand or feature, eg. you want a quilted jacket but not a Barbour\n* I set up email alerts for holy-grail items, such as a very niche boutique branded dress in my size. \n* When buying, I save the sellers' pics in case I get it, hate it and want to resell it\nUltimate list of eBay tips for women's fashion-finding",
"chosen": "Use a website that searches for misspellings. I've gotten a good price on a couple of items simply because the seller misspelled the title and it wasn't appearing in correctly-spelled searches. I used TypoHound usually.\n",
"rejected": "If you're able to fit Asian \"free size,\" a XS-S (maybbeeee M but that's stretching it), a bunch of vendors sell dirt cheap clothes, usually with free shipping. A lot of basics can be found, as well as whatever's trending in Korea or China usually. They also sell super cheap, knockoff shoes in European sizes. I got my Doc Marten knockoffs, as well as a pair of creepers from eBay that are excellent. Don't expect them to hold up- I usually only buy \"trendy\" things that I don't forsee myself wearing for a long time- if you want durability I'd look elsewhere.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm in the process of developing my style right now and the lists of fashion inspiration celebrities I've found seem to be mostly white women. The thing is, I'm not fully white, and I find some colours and trends just don't look as good on me as they do on white women.\n\nI have no idea if \"women of colour\" is the politically correct term but I mean pretty much any non-white people (black, Indian, Asian, Hispanic, mixed-race).\n\nAny ideas would be awesome!\nFashion icons who are women of colour?",
"chosen": "Freida Pinto\n\nIman\n\nAlex Wek\n\nZiyi Zhang\n\nLupita Nyong'o\n\nLucy Liu\n\nJessica Alba\n\nAishwarya Rai\n\nPadma Lakshmi\n",
"rejected": "I love Mindy Kaling's style, although it's really different from mine. Her Instagram is awesome; I'd link but I'm on mobile :(\n"
},
{
"query": "Hello! \n\nI know this sub is mostly for video games, but I just got back from Gen Con 22 (big board gaming and table top convention) and am feeling inspired. \n\nIt was my first time attending and I gotta say I am really impressed with the crowd. I've run into some problems with sexism and gatekeeping in the board game community before but I'm happy to report I didn't see any of that here. There were women teaching board game rules, running lots of events, working the booths and I met a lot of really cool female game designers! Overall it was a really refreshing experience and I was never made to feel like I didn't belong. \n\nObviously there are still some really male-dominated circles within board gaming (notably MTG and a lot of tournament based games), so I'm just reaching out on here to see what others' experiences in this community/hobby have been. I'm seriously considering trying to put together some sort of local gaming group in my town to get like minded people together to play games, but part of me is still worried I might have to deal with some... Unsavory types. Also I really need a way to actually play all of the board games I bought over the weekend lol \n\nDoes anyone have experience with a local board gaming group or store? How is the general vibe at events you've been to? I'm trying not to let my very good Gen Con experience cloud my judgement or give me unrealistic expectations. Thanks in advance!!\nWhere my board gaming ladies at?",
"chosen": "not exactly a board game but i’m BIG into tabletop RPGs! i never knew there were tabletop conventions though, wheres Gen Con at?\n",
"rejected": "I love board games and really got into them after college. I’ve mostly played with close friends and family so haven’t run into any issues with jerks or crappy behavior. Everybody has been pretty respectful and open to playing a variety of games.\n\nMost of our gaming friends moved away though so we started looking for local places that boast board game nights. We found a local place on Meetup that has been hosting consistent weekly board game nights for years and it has a really strong, consistent crowd of folks. We just attended our first evening there and met some really nice people and played a few games. It was a lot of fun and we definitely plan to go again. It was a mixed crowed of people, all ages, genders etc. and everybody we came across was friendly and open to meeting new people. I’d definitely consider it a positive experience and I didn’t experience any sexism, mansplaining, or gate keeping. Everyone was really friendly and just looking for new people to play with.\n"
},
{
"query": "**The Rules:**\n\n* Keep your posts as responses to this thread so we don't clutter up the front page of the sub.\n* Use a **SPOILER** tag if it's applicable.\n\nSo... what are **YOU** playing this week?\n'What're You Playing?' Wednesday - April 20, 2016",
"chosen": "I've been playing Life is Strange all week already. Soooo good!\n",
"rejected": "Miitomo (yes, it's a gamified social network) and Neko Atsume!! KITTIES!!!!!\n"
},
{
"query": "This is a long shot... but I wanted to raise awareness in regards to this matter. I always read this online or hear it IRL. It's also making my ability to transition harder... my dad won't support me simply because he thinks black mtf Trans people look really bad. I tried killing myself a couple of months back because of this. I'm trying to remain positive that I'll pass someday but when I keep reading things like:\n\n\"Oh you're Asian ofcourse you pass as a female! I wish I was Asian so I could pass.\" (I see this ALL THE TIME)\n\n\"Oh you're black of course you can pass as a man!\"\n\n\"I wouldn't expect much and you'll probably need FFS. You're black so you have manly features\" (read this the other day when I posted a picture of myself asking if I could pass .__. I'm only 20 years old... am I really that unpassable because of my race that other trans people have to tell me this...)\n\nIt doesn't help... especially people like me who literally could have transitioned YEARS before if their parent didn't care about passing so much... and didn't think that passing was based on race. ._________.' ... atleast this is my case.\nPlease stop stereotyping trans peeps ability to pass based on race! >:/",
"chosen": "Yeah I don't get why people would say this when like two of the most famous trans women: Janet Mock and Laverne Cox are black, beautiful and pass quite easily :\\\n\nPeople are fucking stupid.\n",
"rejected": "I look up to so many trans women of the vogueing ballroom scene and they all happened to be black and insanely beautiful. Have you seen Amiyah Scott, Tamiyah Balenciaga?\n"
},
{
"query": "When I was first writing this post I was calling them \"sheer, skin-colored tights like the ones they sell at Walgreen's\". Then I thought oh shit I'm talking about pantyhose! But yeah, is it cool to wear pantyhose under a dress or skirt? I live in upstate NY and girls here never, ever wear them..even in 0 degree weather. Ive been reading a few Swedish fashion blogs recently and I saw that the girls there dont sacrifice freezing for fashion, so I guess are they ok to wear in the states or will I look like a grandma?\nPantyhose",
"chosen": "I don't get pantyhose hate in North America, no European woman thinks they make her look old, nor would freeze over wearing them.\n",
"rejected": "I love the look of high quality pantyhose with a dress or skirt. I think it makes an outfit look much more put together especially in winter. Bare legs in winter make outfits look unbalanced, especially if you're wearing a heavy brocade or wool dress. When I buy pantyhose I always buy very sheer ones in a color as close to my natural skin color as possible, and I always look for ones with some shimmer in them. The shimmer helps to mask imperfections on your legs.\n"
},
{
"query": "I’m trying to expand my gaming world and finally have some time to do so! I recently finished Life is Strange (pretty good) and I’m working my way through the prequel right now (not as good). I tend to like sims, and games like Don’t Starve and Stardew Valley. I also started playing FPS about two years ago when Overwatch came out. I’ve tried a few others, but there’s nothing I like as much so far. I love it because of the richness of story, cool abilities, and it’s something I can play with my husband. I played WoW for quite awhile, until I got bored with the grinding, and way back in the day, I played Ultima Online so much; school suffered quite a bit.\n\nI’m currently downloading Divinity Original Sin 2, and plan to buy Planet Coaster, Oxenfree, and Potion Explosion (something else to play with my SO). Any other recommendations? What are you planning to buy?\nWhatcha buyin’ from the Steam Summer Sale?",
"chosen": "I am probably gonna go broke, I can't make up my mind whether to get Conan Exiles or something else.\n",
"rejected": "I picked up Hustle Cat, Black Closet (because I loved Long Live the Queen!), Amnesia: Memories, Aviary Attorney, and Hatoful Boyfriend (please do not read into my bird-related purchases). I'm considering Slime Rancher, considering how many good reviews it has, but I really don't know if it's my kind of game.\n"
},
{
"query": "As summer rolls in I'm finding florals are creeping back into my wardrobe, but there's a part of me that's really bored of layering prints with only plain sweaters etc. Since I'm from a cool climate my wardrobe has a lot of flannel which I'm finding I tie around my waist until I need it as a sweater. Mostly I try to colour coordinate it, which has worked well so far.\n\nSo now I'm curious: does anyone else dig mismatched prints? Any favourites or inspo to share?\nThoughts on mixing prints? Favourite combonations?",
"chosen": "I love pairing stripes and leopard print! Like a Breton stripe top and leopard flats\n",
"rejected": "I love mixing prints. I'm like you, in a cold climate with a lot of flannel. I love flannel or gingham shirts over all-over patterned shirts like stripes, stars, or birds (I have an affinity for bird prints.) \n\nI love leopard with anything and would love to find a cute camo jacket to add into my wardrobe. I also love large checks/tweed over stripes.\n"
},
{
"query": "Hi.\n\nI don't see that this topic was discussed and I'm having trouble finding a fun co-op game that isn't Portal 2. I thought about buying A Way Out but it's a bit pricey even though my friends would play for free. Any suggestions?\n\n&#x200B;\n\nThanks!\nFun online multi-player or co-op that isn't heavy FPS?",
"chosen": "Diablo 3 and Helldivers have both been quite popular among my little group in the last couple years. If you like top-down action games, give them a shot maybe?\n",
"rejected": "I highly recommend Battleblock Theater. My partner and I have been having a blast playing through it. It's a funny platform game and is single player or co-op up to four players. I think it's on sale right now on steam.\n"
},
{
"query": "Hi ladies,\n\nLet's talk 2023.\n\nPersonally, I've had a revelation that I need to rediscover a lot about myself this coming year before I feel comfortable making more purchasing decisions— what gives me joy, what am I comfortable in, what do I look at and save and want, want, want for months...\n\nI have really struggled with the paradox of choice and being a \"maximizer,\" and my goal this year is to reevaluate my purchases, how I made them, and why I made them. I buy *thinking* I've made a good purchase... only to regret it the minute I get it in the mail (this is it's own problem. 2023 might end up being a \"no buying without trying on first\" year).\n\nI'm also (probably, hopefully....) going to delete Poshmark (ideally I'll sell some things first); deleting Instagram and logging into Pinterest only on my computer has helped a lot.\n\n\n\nAnyways, tell me about your plan(s): do you have one? Do you feel anxiety about a no buy week/month/quarter/year? Did you do one previously and liked the results?\n2023 No Buy/Low Buy",
"chosen": "I lost weight and had to replace my wardrobe so it was a high buy year for me. Also, I wore black leggings and t shirts for 2 years prior and stayed home. Going out more now and wanting to dress up. So the plan is no purchases in 2024.\n",
"rejected": "I did a low-buy for 2022 and pretty much stuck to it. I'm going into 2023 trying to be very intentional about what I choose to purchase, focusing on what I already have, and only buying what I need or fills gaps or completes outfits. Also want to whittle down my closet a bit more, so I only keep what I love and wear.\n"
}
] | 13
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000015497207641601562,
"logprob2": -5.625,
"signal": 5.624998450279236
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00014019012451171875,
"logprob2": -4.75,
"signal": 4.749859809875488
}
| -0.875139
| 2
|
8371
|
[
{
"query": "I'm currently working a night shift type job and it's just her and I. Things have gotten awkward. I thought it was going to be silent but it surely was not. It happened, we got really quiet, and now we're not talking. Do I address the fart? Do I leave it alone? How do I repair this professional working relationship now? Has anyone else been in a situation like this before?\nGuys what do you do in a situation when you accidentally rip a huge ass fart in front of your female coworker?",
"chosen": "Blame it on her.\n",
"rejected": "Just say hey, remember when I farted earlier in the shift? Feel free to let one rip whenever you please to break this tension between us. It's only right. Eye for an eye.\n"
},
{
"query": "After reading a couple threads in askwomen about this subject, I suddenly began noticing that all my real-life girl friends are the same way; they want an extroverted guy. Someone who can take them out to do exciting things, who can be the life of the party and who can make them feel wanted and full of life. \n\nThis isn't to say that introverted guys can't do that stuff, but as an introverted guy myself I know I rarely have the energy to do that kind of stuff often. Also, I've been rejected often for \"not being exciting enough\". So I just have to wonder, do girls just inherently prefer extroverted guys? Or am I just way over-thinking this?\nDo introverted guys have an inherent disadvantage when it comes to dating?",
"chosen": "I think introverts of both genders are at a disadvantage in the dating world. A woman who can't put herself out there just isn't going to meet as many guys as a woman who's more social, for example. But I do think a man who's an introvert is more severely handicapped due to the fact that he doesn't just have to put himself out there to meet women, he has to put himself out there to meet women and then make the moves and ask them out.\n\nIt's something we have to deal with, though. If not being out-going enough is harming your success with the opposite sex, you should work on being more out-going.\n",
"rejected": "No one has mentioned online dating yet?\n\n\nThis is an introverts dream. \n\n\nIt doesn't matter if your goal is a string of one night stands, or to find the woman of your dreams, online dating is the path.\n"
},
{
"query": "I don't want to be that girl that sends the wrong message. I [23F] am a generally touchy person. To me that is how I communicate friendship. Hugs and touches on the arm mostly. I don't really linger at all. Same treatment for everyone. \n\nEnter guy in same group of friends (let's call him Matt) that I am really into. I don't want him to scramble any signals! To me the touch is different between us, but I have learned (thanks AskMen) that subtlety gets you nowhere.\n\nSo I guess my question is twofold. \n\n1. Should I calm down the physical affection with my guy friends? If so, what can replace it?\n\n2. How can I show this guy that I am into him? NOTE: He is very into making the first move and I like that. But I want to make it clear that I am open to more than friendship.\nShould I stop being so physically affectionate with my guy friends?",
"chosen": "Simple. When you're with him and his friends, don't touch anyone else. It will be obvious enough for him to figure out, and it will be different so he will notice.\n",
"rejected": "If you're touchy with everyone I'm not going to think anything when you give me a hug too. Also, to be perfectly honest, I'm always a little weary around women with a bunch of guy friends when they're constantly touching them.\n"
},
{
"query": "It seems like every thread here recommends exercising. Let's see what you've got.\nWhat fitness achievement are you most proud of?",
"chosen": "315 stiff leg dead lift. Definitely proud of that.\n",
"rejected": "As a 5'8, 150lb guy...\n\nPretty happy I rep 225 on the bench and 295 on squat\n\nI also once was able to run an 11.5 second 100m, fastest (and only) white guy on the track team\n"
},
{
"query": "It doesn't particularly bother me, but I was surprised it didn't bother anyone else, including her. It's not like she's just in the corner working on something, either, she's all over the place - all around the locker room sweeping, cleaning the mirror in the bathroom while guys pee, etc. I'm getting changed and looking around and thinking, \"So...everyone is cool with this? Janitor lady? Naked old dude? Okay then.\"\n\nAnd obviously, there are no male workers going in the ladies locker room any time soon. So what do you think about this? Be interested to hear some female perspectives as well.\nMy gym has a female janitor in the men's locker room all the time now. How do you feel about something like this? And about the double standard?",
"chosen": "Double standards only go one direction, don't you know that?\n",
"rejected": "I was bothered by this once and got in a huff about the double standard. And maybe that is a double standard in the one aspect of women may not find it as acceptable for the inverse to occur (maybe though, I wouldn't know I'm not a woman). But then you have to think who is usually working janitorial jobs at the places you work at? Service and janitorial positions are largely female dominated.\n\nI'm from south Florida so it's majority female minorities (aka Hispanic women). It's a shit job that nobody wants to do and these women who barely speak English work their asses off to provide for themselves because this might be the only job they could land with their skill set in this country. So if I can make her job a little quicker/easier by not having a fit and keeping a towel on walking to the showers if/while she's there, I'll gladly do it. I see it more as an slight inconvenience because of the gender distribution in our workforce.\n"
},
{
"query": "I've been called scary by male friends but never by a guy I've been with. Both groups have told me that I'm beautiful but I need a man that can \"handle a girl like me\"? What does that even mean?\nWhat does it mean when guys say \"you need a man that can handle you\"?",
"chosen": "Either you are crazy, dramatic, high energy or independent.\n",
"rejected": "Handle has a lot of different meanings. Who are you? Are you incredibly feminine, confident, etc. Define yourself and I'll give you a more complete answer.\n"
},
{
"query": "As a woman, there always seems to be the stigma that if you have sex/hook up with a man when you first meet him then you're a [insert derogatory term here]...when in reality, the majority of us enjoy casual sex just as much as you!\n\nHas there ever been a time when you had negative thoughts towards a woman solely because she had sex with you so soon? What are you general thoughts about this (good or bad), if any?\nMen - how many of you have genuinely had negative thoughts about a woman because she hooked up with you the same day you met her?",
"chosen": "I guess you could consider it a \"negative thought\", but I don't consider one-night-stands to be relationship material. That's that. Has nothing to do with judgmentally defining you as a slut. Yay! We had sex - that doesn't mean we're suddenly dating and I have to care about your emotions and what not. Why can't we just say our goodbyes and be done with it? What happened to the \"casual\" aspect of this? Not immediately taking you out to dinner and then introducing you to my parents suddenly means I think you're a slut? I have never and will never understand why women put themselves in these boxes, make up a \"stigma\", and then blame men for either acting or not acting how they want us to.\n\nI feel like some women might interpret an unwillingness to date a one-night-stand as me dismissing them as \"slutty\", but in my mind it is no where in the same ballpark. Casual sex is casual. I couldn't care less about what you do with the other 6 nights of your week. Trust me, guys don't sit around tapping their fingers together a-la-Mr. Burns saying, \"What whores!\"\n",
"rejected": "I find sex to be a part of a healthy relationship (or friendship, to an extent). \nI think the only time a man will think poorly of a woman for having sex on the first date is if he was \"playing her\" from the start. \nActing sleazy, disrespectful, asinine and then she still sleeps with him. He never had any respect for her to begin with and even less afterwards.\n"
},
{
"query": "We're both recently graduated, so I didn't really expect anything fancy, (nor did I desire that.) I just wanted a small thing to acknowledge it: A card, a simple, cheap, homemade dinner, even a free adventure somewhere.\n\nI treated her to dinner, got her a personal gift she had been talking about, and surprised her by dropping off flowers at her apartment while she was at work. This was just three weeks before my birthday.\nHonestly, I really don't expect or like receiving expensive gifts, but I just wanted some sort of acknowledgement or effort to make me feel somewhat special for one day.\n\nShe sent me a text the day of, but that's it. Also, we see each other a few times a week, so distance isn't really an issue.\n\nYeah, I'm gonna bring it up to her, I just wanted an outside perspective into it before I overreact.\n\nThanks y'all.\nGirlfriend of eight months hasn't done anything to recognize my birthday. It was two weeks ago. How would you feel? Is it alright for me to upset?",
"chosen": "Congratulations. You've discovered that your relationship is not only not as strong as you thought, but is likely to end within the next 6 months.\n\nWomen that are into you do not forget your birthday, and they definitely make it a special occasion.\n\nA lot of the sexless rejects that post here will try to woo-woo it away with nonsense, but guess what buddy? You're not the only man in the picture right now. Someone else has caught her eye. She'll give you some kind of bullshit excuse like, \"I've been busy job hunting.\" (You two are recently graduated) or, \"Oh, it just slipped my mind!\" or 1,000 other things that'll put you back at ease.\n\nI'm older than a lot of the guys that post here, creeping up on middle age at 35... and I've never, *not once* had a girlfriend forget my birthday. In my early 30s I dated a CPA who worked 50-60 hour weeks and travelled all over the nation. We dated for 18 months, spanning two of my birthdays, and she never forgot, and it was always a big deal to her.\n\nCome back in 6 months... I guarantee you'll be broken up.\n\nLastly, sorry to be the bearer of bad news. I know it sucks, but this is an enormous red flag.\n",
"rejected": "\"Recent graduate\" suggests you're still fairly young. From a codger: start with the assumption that nobody cares about your birthday other than you. If you want to do something nice, do it for yourself. If someone else decides to recognize it, that's a pleasant surprise.\n\nExpectation breeds disappointment.\n"
},
{
"query": "I always feel super uncomfortable, because I'm in the way, I can't offer any input on selection, I have no idea how sizes work so I can't get some for her to try... Most of the time (especially in VS) I end up on my phone trying not to look at all the photoshopped posters of busty women in underwear. \n \nWhat do you guys usually do?\nGuys, what do you do while your woman is bra shopping/in Victoria's Secret/etc?",
"chosen": "Typically a VS is in the mall, so I go a couple of shops down and check out video games. If she gets something, then I'll get to see it later, if not then I missed out on standing there outside of a dressing room trying not to feel like a creep (even though no one really gives a shit).\n",
"rejected": "There's a Tesla store in the mall so I'd walk over there.\n"
},
{
"query": "You're Still the One by Shania Twain \n\nShe Will be Loved and Sunday Morning by Maroon 5. \n\nPuts me in such a fabulous mood, I don't care if they are considered girly.\nWhat \"girly\" songs do you listen to that you sing aloud to, not caring about being judged?",
"chosen": "I love Lana del Ray. All of her music. I'm not sure why.\n",
"rejected": "I threw a wish in the well\n\ndon't ask me I'll never tell\n\nI looked to you as it fell\n\nand now you're in my way\n\n\n*20 secons later*\n\n\n**SOOO CALLL MEE MAAAYBEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!11!!!1111**\n"
},
{
"query": "For me it's Nobuo Uematsu, without a doubt. Playing many of the video games he composed the music for as a kid (and even still now) so many of his pieces really evoke some strong nostalgic feelings from me, and his music is so beautifully composed and spectacular in general.\n\nAlso - there are so many! Hundreds! I don't think I'd ever get bored.\nYou can only listen to one band/artist/composer's music for the rest of your life. Who do you choose?",
"chosen": "Probably slipknot. They have a lot of songs I can relate to. If I want a softer song, I can just listen to to snuff or vermilion pt. 2. Then the rest is just to get me pumped.\n",
"rejected": "Miles Davis was had such a diverse career, I can't see why not to put him.\n"
}
] | 3
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00005245208740234375,
"logprob2": -4.25,
"signal": 4.249947547912598
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000015497207641601562,
"logprob2": -5.25,
"signal": 5.249998450279236
}
| 1.000051
| 7
|
549
|
[
{
"query": "Women have all sorts of fun and sexy things to wear in the bedroom. Whole stores like Victoria's Secret exist to fill this need. What's the male equivalent? All I see is ridiculous looking banana hammocks. Is that the only option?\nWhat do you men wear in the bedroom?",
"chosen": "Form fitting boxer briefs. I've been told by women I have a 'cute butt' so form fitting underwear shows that off and makes a visible bulge right where my bait and tackle are.\n",
"rejected": "Tightly whities, long white socks, and some sun glasses. Rivers flow from between womens legs when they see this.\n"
},
{
"query": "Side note; what do you like best about your name? Bonus points; help me come up with names for our son who is about to be born because we're super stuck.\n\nSonny mcsonface has been discussed.\nMen of Reddit, if you could go back in time and have a say in the naming of yourself, what would you change if anything?",
"chosen": "I wouldn't want to be named after my father. Don't get me wrong, I love him and all, but it's been an issue growing up because my parent's call me by my middle name but some people like my first name. I don't mind either so it's gotten confusing.\n",
"rejected": "Seriously my name is fricking huge… Mohammed Khaled(my part) abu Kawshar (dads part) abu kashem (granddads part) dacwala (family name) I would rather like either Mohammed or Khaled… Khaled more because everyone calls me Khaled… and keep my dads name and remove the rest.\n"
},
{
"query": "(its gonna be a really long post so get ready)\nIt's been too long. Tbh, I don't really know how exactly I feel, its like it is a mix of feeling regret for my cringy past (its' influence in my daily life was drastically decreased, but I stil get that nasty feeling for being such an idiot in the past), hesitation for whether my struggle to become a better version will be in vain or not and most of all feeling of idleness. I tried everything that came across my mind: from working out and working on my discipline to just letting myself go as I please. Every single day begins with the thought: why the hell do I need to get up, what for? Even though I still get up, the feeling of idleness doesn't get away and instead haunts me throughout the whole day. Whatever I do - its still there, for example I need to do dumbbells: I approach them, grab them and when I'm about to lift them I instantly get a debuff in motivation because I know how much I have to work to get the type of body I want and that there's no guarantees that I will succeed in the end. Thanks to my stubbornity I do it anyway, but it it is given to me with great difficulty than it should be. Another example goes from my relationship experience: lets say once upon a time I met someone that seemed like potential new friend at first, we speak with pleasure with each other and everything goes the way I wanted for a long time. But then some prick who knew the worse version of me (from my cringy past that is) tells the worst things and even sometimes exaggerate something or doesn't tell the whole story. Then a human I was in good relationship with for a solid period of time just lets that disgusting abomination turn his opinion about me 180 degrees. After that he tells that he no longer wants to be friends with me. Things like that destroy the confidence and assurance in building good relationship with anyone. Things are much better now, ofcourse. But sediment still remains (for all curious people who wonder what kind of past I have: lets just say that back then I was too emotionally excited about everything when I finally went to school for my first time, I was too pushy when it came to relationships, etc.).\nThese three sabotage my life every day. It wouldn't be such a problem if there was one problem that bothers me at a time, but its never like it these days.\n\nSo today I have not one problem, but many at one time. And my question is simple: how does one get over things like that?\n\nP.S Also sorry for my english, its not my native language, but I did what I could to express everything, thanks!\nHow to get rid of feeling like shit every day?",
"chosen": "In addition to the basics (get enough sleep, drink enough water, exercise, etc) you sound like you need to talk to a therapist and find some new friends that support you and don't tear you down. Why are you bringing new relationships around people who are sabotaging you like that?\n",
"rejected": "Exercise honestly. Spend time on yourself & making improvements in your life. Get up & go on a walk or jog or cycle at a gym, start at 10 mins and work your way up slowly as you’re comfortable. You will feel much better every day\n"
},
{
"query": "My ex girlfriend taught me that it’s not ok to bottle up your emotions and to just let go sometimes.\nWhat is an important lesson you learned from a previous relationship?",
"chosen": "You're responsible for your own happiness. You can try to accommodate for your SO, but in the end YOU should be happy.\n",
"rejected": "Avoid hopeless romantics.\n"
},
{
"query": "In Tinder, you only communicate after you both approve of each other's pictures. In reverse Tinder, you start chatting right away and then ask for photos if inclined. Some of my peers said no way, they have to know what a woman look like before they put in the effort to get to know her. But for me it is a turn on if I can hit it off in communication with a girl first and then it will be even more of a pleasant surprise if she also happens to be good looking.\nHow interested would you be in using \"reverse Tinder\" where you chat with women first before seeing their pictures?",
"chosen": "With your approach to this it sounds more like you are only focusing on the positive aspects of it and ignoring the potential negatives of it. Sure it would be awesome if you clicked intellectually with someone and you found out later that they are really attractive and they think you're really attractive too. I hate saying this because it sounds so cynical, but the chances of you 1. clicking with someone intellectually 2. finding the person attractive 3. the other person finding you attractive, are very slim. And in the case that one of you isn't attracted to the other, then what? One or both of you are going to feel terrible because you're essentially saying sorry I like your personality and all, but I don't think you're very attractive to me. And that's putting it nicely. Most people are probably going to jump to the conclusion of \"he/she thinks I'm hideous\". Just my take on it. It sounds like it would hurt more feelings than it would grow.\n",
"rejected": "So...90's chatboards and forums?\n"
},
{
"query": "In your own opinion, now good of a SO would you make for the women out there? Why did you rate yourself the way you did? How would others rate you? Higher or lower? What are your qualifications for being the catch that you are?\nOn a scale of 1 to 10 (ten being best), how good of a catch are you? Why so?",
"chosen": "I consider myself a 10/10 only with the caveat that I spent tons of time being a bad SO, so by doing pretty much the opposite of what I used to do I'm 100x better (my biggest problem was I couldn't be intimate, but I've fixed a lot of that). \n\nI dance, play music, sports, cook amazing romantic meals, don't judge, and am interested in enough subjects that whatever you're passionate about, I want to learn it. I can tell when you're stressed and when to step in and help take the load off, even if it's just by small, sweet gestures (breakfast in bed the morning of a big test, for example). I like getting to know families and making your friends my friends. \n\nI'm an A+, 10/10 catch.\n",
"rejected": "We should post a photo of ourselves so other guys can rate us.\n"
},
{
"query": "I don’t particularly hate porn but the women in it make me feel insecure. I understand that this is not a good reason to ask him to stop watching it. Even so I asked him to quit and he agreed he wouldn’t watch it anymore. I didn't realistically expect him to stop completely. I recently found links to some of the sites on my computer. I don’t want him to stop as much as I want him to be honest with me when I try to talk to him about it. Why is it such a shameful subject to him and how do I make it okay for him to talk about? How do I approach him or should I just leave it alone? Does he watch it because I’m inadequate?\nHow do I approach my husband about watching porn?",
"chosen": "It's shameful because you made it shameful, you made it a subject of \"no this is wrong\" and thus it became shameful.\n\nHe does not watch porn because you're inadequate, he watches porn because humans, men in particular, are naturally polygamous and we're driven to want to fuck women, large amounts of women, and instead of doing that, he's watching porn. You could easily say that he's watching porn because he loves you and doesn't want to act in a way that would cause you pain.\n\nHe's watching porn to satisfy an urge which he, nor anyone else, has any real control over.\n\nYou shouldn't feel insecure about it, after all, he's with you, he married you, he's your's and you are his. Just take a breath and remember that.\n",
"rejected": "Thanks OP and all the men in this thread. This is a helpful topic, especially the replies. I now understand that jerking off is more of a physical release with no emotional ties to me, and porn is a visual aid during the process. I myself watch porn, but I am more turned on by romance novels and literotica so I am doing the same thing with a different aid. I will remember this in future relationships. Also, thanks for emphasizing that you are not wishing I was Sasha Grey the next time you are with me. Askmen saving the world one insecurity at a time.\n"
},
{
"query": "I don't wanna list the most common but i can say i do not get what is so wrong with having every sock different, when i'm waking up early in morning i don't give a shit if i have same socks, i just take what is there.\nWhat thing you think people care too much about?",
"chosen": "Previous sex partners of their SO. People get way too hung up on it. As long as there's no long-term effects (kids, STDs), it's not a big deal.\n",
"rejected": "Having the best opinion.\n\nLike shit, I can appreciate that some bands are more complex or that some foods are more nuanced, or that some places to vacation are more cultured.\n\nBut shit sometimed I just wanna eat a double cheeseburger in my backyard listening to Motorhead, don't try to convince me why my preferences are worse than anyone else's\n"
},
{
"query": "Hey, all! \n \nIn about a week, I'm leaving the country for some training at my company's headquarters. \nI'll be gone almost three months in total and my wife and I will be about six time zones apart. \nWe'll definitely be talking every day while I'm gone, but I wanted some more tangible ways to demonstrate that she's special and that she's on my mind. \n \nSo: what are some thoughtful things I can do in the meantime *and* while I'm away to remind her how important she is? \nAny success stories about taking care of a relationship while traveling are definitely welcomed. \nThanks!\nWhat are some thoughtful gestures I can perform for my SO while I'm traveling out of country?",
"chosen": "I love it when my SO sends me postcards and writes little notes on what he was doing when he bought the postcard... or attaches a picture. One time he attached a little baggie with sand from mexico and it arrived!.\n",
"rejected": "Take a bunch of pictures of you being miserable at touristy locations because they aren't there to enjoy them with you.\n"
},
{
"query": "I really want to learn to defend myself for a situation in case I need to. Do you guys feel like a man should at least know the basics of how to fight/defend himself?\nIn your opinion, should a man know how to fight?",
"chosen": "No. We aren't cavemen defending our food and our women anymore.\n",
"rejected": "Yes, but the first lesson should be ''avoid it until doing so puts you or someone else in more danger than facing the fight would''.\n"
},
{
"query": "Of course this doesn’t include infidelity, hiding addictions, etc.\nDear ask men, what is something that seems harmless but actually destroys the trust in a relationship?",
"chosen": "Hanging around with that friend your husband asks you about and you say \"Don't worry, he's just a friend\".\n",
"rejected": "Reading texts, emails etc. Just because we're in a relationship does not mean every single part of my personal life is yours to browse through. I have nothing to hide, so you have no reason to look.. however many women I've dated have assumed that because I am so open (and leave my phone unlocked) that it's perfectly fine to go through my phone.\n"
},
{
"query": "I think for me, I love so many different types of women in porn (milfs, tattooed chicks, ebony or latina girls and even some trans women) but in real life I tend to always date the same attractive, vanilla girls who are boring and safe. Not sure why I haven't expanded my dating pool to more interesting women.\nHow are the girls you pursue in real life different from the girls you lust after in porn?",
"chosen": "The girls I tend to go after are a little more “plain” I’ve noticed. They don’t have 12/10 supermodel bodies, they might have an imperfection or two, and they exhibit a higher degree of modesty in public at least. When we’re alone it’s a different story though.\n",
"rejected": "The women I lust after IRL generally have quite a bit less cosmetic surgery than the women in porn, but that goes with their jobs and I don't \"miss it.\" I have absolutely zero problem with either natural or enhanced lips, boobs, noses etc. It's all good. Other than that, I do appreciate women IRL who can, when the circumstances permit, bring the fantasy of porn to life. My experience has been that it's perfectly possible, it just takes a lot of effort and demands fairly pristine relationship conditions.\n"
},
{
"query": "So the other day I was having a conversation with a family member while watching my younger sister play tennis. She was competing against a boy around the same age as her and despite my younger sister being really good at tennis, she was getting absolutely handled by her male opponent. \n\nMy family member leaned over and began commenting on the athletic difference between men and women. The family member (a male) shared that they found it crazy how vastly different men and women were in terms of athletic ability. I shared that it made sense in some areas because men have more muscle mass and can severely outweigh women in terms of size or strength. I also shared that I was sure there were some sports where women might have a strategic advantage. He challenged me to name one sport where the best woman would beat the best man and I'll admit that I struggled to find an answer. \n\nHe then changed the conversation to how he felt about Women's sports and their coverage. He said he had been watching ESPN the other day and their was a female anchor doing coverage on the Women's College basketball and he noticed the anchor was visibly frustrated. He said that while he is for women's sports getting attention just like men's do, he think that there just isn't the same level of passion, athleticism, skill, or excitement in women's sports and that makes it less interesting for audiences to watch. \n\nSomething felt inherently wrong about the conversation to me, mostly because I think men and women should be put on the same level but I also found myself unable to argue the other side. I know that I would much rather watch a men's basketball game for the reasons my family member spoke on. Maybe that's just bias or exposure but I wanted to see what your thoughts were about women's sports. How do they measure (in your eyes) compared to men's sports? Do you think they should be getting the same exposure? Are there sports where men and women are on an equal playing field as far as talent/athleticism/ability? What are your thoughts?\nHow do you feel about Women's Sports? How do they compare to Men's?",
"chosen": "Honestly, for me sport is about two people competing as hard as they can. I really enjoy watching the best women compete in fields like MMA, although you generally find the tier below the top tier is fairly noncompetitive.\n\nI think there is too much taboo around acknowledging women have physical disadvantages and potentially even neurological ones that make it more difficult to compete strategically with males. There's a lot of interesting research in that area so I'm not completely sure.\n\nI actually believe that women should have their own sports, which could be different (not worse) versions of traditional sports, or entirely new sports. For example, football (English). I watch the women's World Cups. There's some really cool moments but you can just tell it is not at the same level as the men's. I think the pitches should be smaller (women are smaller and less physical on average) and the goals should be smaller (as far as I can tell, female goalkeepers can't actually save shots that go in the top of the goal). They could even look at the player count (11v11) and possibly reduce it because the number of women who play football is massively less than men.\n\ntl,dr; I like competition. I like watching women and men compete. I feel like the current sporting landscape makes it difficult to appreciate what women bring, so men's sport is always more appealing.\n",
"rejected": "I support women in sport but wouldn't pay to watch it really. There really aren't cases where a top female would be able to compete with a top male unless the sport involved a third party (equestrian and motor racing for example).\n"
},
{
"query": "My SO always makes fun of me for buying the same shampoo all the time. I thought I would surprise her with something new.\nAskMen, what shampoo do you use and why?",
"chosen": "Bar of soap. I have a shaved head.\n",
"rejected": "Head and shoulders because dandruff. Fuck that shit. I thought it was only in older men. But nope, I'm 18 and my head is hella dandy. But apparently the head and shoulders works okay, or so I've noticed, so that's cool.\n"
},
{
"query": "Mine's pretty tame, but it's always nice to get a punch in the ego before it gets too big. A reminder of constant self-improvement. My ego bloats up before I know it lol. Would like to listen to yours for more sucker punches.\n\nYesterday when I was having dinner, my crush mentioned how she was going to take a flight back to her hometown and was saying how she's worried she might oversleep. Mutual friend (real nice guy) offered to give her a morning call. My immediate response (in my head) was \"I should have thought of that first\", \"He's so nice\", and \"Omg, I'm so selfish\".\nWhat did you recently realize about yourself that made you feel horrible?",
"chosen": "I realized I learn slower than most people. \n\nIm in trade school right now, and I always seem to only learn something after reading my notes after school, while the other people in my class seem to absorb and apply the lessons in real time. \n\nMakes me sad. Makes me discouraged. But im not going to let it hinder me.\n",
"rejected": "I am selfish. I want my own time, and my friends on my own terms, not theirs.\n"
}
] | 10
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00007534027099609375,
"logprob2": -10.25,
"signal": 10.249924659729004
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00008535385131835938,
"logprob2": -16,
"signal": 15.999914646148682
}
| 5.74999
| 4
|
8602
|
[
{
"query": "Context: My mother read to me when I was young. I don't know how she found the time (she had 8 kids) but it's one of my best chilhood memories. I'm divorced now, but love reading to my kids and they love it too. \n\n I'm just interested in hearing what books you have read to your children (my boys are 6&8) that all of you have enjoyed. Some of my favorites are The Hobbit, Holes, Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness, Lost in the Barrens, and the Little Prince. Recommendations would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!\nFathers of AM, what's the best book you've read to you children?",
"chosen": "The Jungle Book. Not the book adaptation of that pap smear of a movie, the Rudyard Kipling motherfucking classic.\n\nDates back to when we didn't mollycoddle kids with babyfied stories until they were old enough to reproduce. There is terror and brutality as well as honor, friendship, loyalty and bravery. The animals are anthropomorphized, but they're still animals. \n\nThere's a lot of hidden nuggets of deep wisdom in there, like this:\n\n*Now this is the law of the jungle, as old and as true as the sky,\nAnd the wolf that shall keep it may prosper, but the wolf that shall break it must die.*\n\n*As the creeper that girdles the tree trunk, the law runneth forward and back;\nFor the strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack.*\n\nI would stick to the stories about animals while they're too young to understand historical context. It was written by an Englishman, in colonial times. Dig?\n",
"rejected": "My son is a current fan of a mess of old WWII Marines books. We are re-reading Guadalcanal at the moment.\n"
},
{
"query": "As a teen and in my early 20s I used sex and physical closeness with men as a subconscious tool to find/feel closeness amongst other human beings. Shitty household, one parent, no siblings and few friends. I was VERY detached. Do men ever feel this way?\nHow many of you use or have used sex as a method of human connection when you seemingly can't find connection elsewhere?",
"chosen": "Briefly, yes.\n\nI started rather young. Disturbingly so depending on who you ask, though it was fine by me then and still is.\n\nBy the time high school came around, it was no longer possible to have the same partners. Life changes rapidly, and children have no say in moving for better economic opportunities.\n\nThat left me in a place devoid of the warmth and comfort I was used to.\n\nDuring high school, I was not really on the same page as my fellow students, nor with others in my age range. \n\nIn other words, I hit a big dry spell. The young ladies that were available just weren't looking for the kind of relationships I was. Once you move past going steady and into a more complex interaction that includes sex, trying to engage in normative dating at that age feels empty. You either date the standard way and mess up because it's just natural for you to touch and kiss as part of affection, or you find people that are looking for sex. Most of those at that age just aren't capable of having sex in a healthy way. If they're seeking sex specifically, and dating or romance aren't the goal as well, there's a reason. In my area, that reason was never a good one that led to positive interactions.\n\nSo by the time I was out of school, starting adult life, I was a bit hungry for the fullness of intimacy. \n\nThat hunger led me to seek sex with the hope it would lead to more, despite that being incredibly unlikely during a time of life that's hectic and full of changes.\n\nSo more often than not, I would just look for sex to have that feeling of closeness and warmth. It was much easier and simpler than trying to date in the hopes that real intimacy would arise. Sex provides the sensation of intimacy without the reality of it, much like carob and chocolate.\n\nLuckily, I met really good people along the way. I met a lady through a sort of girlfriend (I'd call it an fwb situation now, but at the time such arrangements weren't as common). She was this tiny woman in her early sixties surrounded by people of all ages at a kink party. Very \n",
"rejected": "You think anyone even wants to have sex with me for that to happen?\n"
},
{
"query": "Just curious, because I've never experienced the opposite (nervous talking to a man) and I want to understand the opposite perspective. Are you nervous talking to any/all new people, or just women?\nFor those men that get nervous talking to women, why?",
"chosen": "I was terminally nervous talking to all women 4 years ago, because no woman ever showed an interest of any kind before, so I presumed they think the worst about me. And because a woman can, by saying three words, make me a creep or accuse me of anything, and she will be supported by society no matter if it's true. \nThen I got rid of most of the nervousness (increasing beauty still increases nervousness of course, it's just matter of being out of my reach), just to realize they actually do think the worst about me by default (three words and I was e.g. dragged from the bar by security, because I said hello to a girl who thought I am too ugly to talk to her). So now, after 0/100 success rate in starting a conversation, I am again starting to be generally nervous, this time of what kind of harsh rejection it will be. And this will not change until I have the first polite and nice dialogue with a woman.\n",
"rejected": "I think that happens mainly when a guy feels attracted to a girl, and becomes concerned with making a good impression. That will make a person self-conscious, and if they're not adept at dealing with it or putting the whole ordeal out of their mind in that moment, they will become nervous. You can't be relaxed when you feel scrutinized and are afraid of making a mistake. It's quite natural.\n"
},
{
"query": "Do you worry about your intake or have rest days? Any negative effects?\n\nIt seems there's the \"omg alcohol is bad\" camp and the 3-4 beers no-ill effects camp.\nRegular drinkers of AskMen, just how much do you actually consume?",
"chosen": "Early 40's male here. I've been drinking every day for the past 10+ years. I'll have approximately 12-16 shots of rum every night. I'll put about 3 shots in a large 32oz cup filled with water and a mixer. I guess you could say I'm an alcoholic, but I still get up at 5:30 every morning, still fit, no beer belly. Best of all there's no hangovers because of the water and I drink a gallon of H2O a day. I get a physical and blood work every year and I'm fine otherwise. Worst part is maybe the shits from time to time.\n",
"rejected": "I have 2 glasses of wine a night. Usually with my dinner.\n"
},
{
"query": "For me, it's living near the mountains. Hands down. There's no better way to relax than going into a quiet, cool forest for a couple of hours.\nWhat is the best thing about where you live?",
"chosen": "It's just big enough. There's proper winters. People are generally attractive\n",
"rejected": "NYC is a ten minute drive away and I live in the suburbs. What's not to like?\n"
},
{
"query": "I just was telling me SO about my new coworker and she dropped this one on me, I froze because she isn’t bad on the eyes and I had no idea what to say, didn’t go down well.\nWhat’s the best answer to “is she pretty?”",
"chosen": "I absolutely hate questions like this, so I think you only have 2 options. \n\n1: Immediately hold up a sign with the meme of Admiral Akbar saying \"It's a trap!\" and then run away.\n\n2: Say yes in such an over the top way that she both knows you aren't being serious and no longer wants to ask you stupid questions because the response is too sarcastic.\n\n*Example: Yes, when she walked into the room, it seemed like the lights dimmed and a halo of golden light beamed down upon her. I'd say that all of the men and half of the women in the office immediately started drooling and all the married people started hiding their wedding rings. Later, when she walked outside to enjoy the glorious sunshine, small woodland animals ran up to her to bask in her presence and beautiful songbirds landed on her outstretched fingers and sang to her of joy.*\n",
"rejected": "\"Yes, but to me you are prettier.\"\n\nOR\n\nMe: Yes, but she's not my type.\n\nSO: So... what's your type?\n\nMe: Comic Sans. \n\n&#x200B;\n"
},
{
"query": "Do you feel like you have a pretty solid understanding of your own attractiveness or has something ever happened or someone said something to make you realize damn, maybe I'm more/less attractive than I thought! Just curious because my crush, who I (female) think is very attractive, said he doesn't think he has a good face.\nHow aware are you of your own attractiveness?",
"chosen": "Very. I get about two matches per year over 3 dating apps so I objectively know that I am very ugly.\n",
"rejected": "We overestimate ourselves by 30% or some shit. So if you think you an 8, you a 6.15 nigga.\n"
},
{
"query": "For me it's Patrick Warburton. I would never be able to shut up if I had the sexy deep-ass voice of Kronk. I'd even create my own theme music.\nIf you could trade voices with anyone (besides Morgan Freeman) who would it be and why?",
"chosen": "James Spader. He can make anything sound confident and calculated.\n",
"rejected": "James Earl Jones\n"
},
{
"query": "I have two coworkers who whisper back and forth all day long and it drives me ***crazy*** (for no logical reason, I might add). What are your office pet peeves?\nWhat are your office pet peeves?",
"chosen": "Using nail clippers. Do that at home!\n",
"rejected": "People who \"work from home,\" but don't actually do work. They don't seem to understand you can go in and check to see whose work level hasn't changed at all over the day.\n\nAlso, the bosses who ignore this fact.\n"
},
{
"query": "As in life advice about \nWoman\nDating \nFinance\nMoney \nLife \nOr just anything helpful.\nWhat’s something you wish you knew when you were 21 ?",
"chosen": "Stay in shape and don't get overweight, but also don't worry about women because none of them will ever be interested in you.\n",
"rejected": "That \"Don't worry about getting a girlfriend, just focus on yourself and everything will fall together naturally\" is a recipe for dying alone.\n"
},
{
"query": "So, I have a roommate and recently (last two months) she's been staying here nearly every night and I'm lost here. At what point is it considered her place of living? Should she start paying her way? What's the process with this and how do I go about this?\nAt what point should your roommates girlfriend start paying rent?",
"chosen": "If she's acting more like a resident than a guest. Guests don't use our groceries, or sleep there more than a couple nights once in a while, or store things there. If you leave a curling iron and toothbrush in the bathroom long term, you've stopped being a guest. \n\nThey need to get their own place. Or she should just go ahead and move in and quit paying rent wherever she actually lives. Or she should go the fuck home. \n\nAlso, if you're renting, there's a good chance they're in violation of the lease. \n\nCheck the lease, see what you find, talk to them about it. Consider moving out with someone else as a potential contingency.\n",
"rejected": "I'm sort of in this situation. \n\nI don't use shower, fridge or common areas, I stay over most nights from 8pm until 8am, as i work fulltime. I make sure I don't play music loudly or laugh late at night, pay 15 dollars a week towards toilet paper and electricity and have helped clean the flat for inspection etc. \n\nNo one has complained yet. \n\nThat said i see this as temporary until we have been together long enough to move in. It's been 6 months so maybe another 6 months.\n\nI think contribution is fair.\n"
},
{
"query": "So, say there's a girl in your class who secretly digs you, and that you talk to occasionally (only in class). How would you prefer her to approach you? Which way would be least creepy? Specifically, what if she began chatting you up about classwork and offered her number to \"study sometime\"?\nMen in college: how would you prefer a girl in your class to ask you out?",
"chosen": "STOP WITH THE HINTS! Honestly, just stop.\n\nWalk up to him\n\nGive him a compliment/obvious flirt(you need to grab his full attention, which will throw him off at the same time)\n\nAsk him out\n",
"rejected": "\"Hey, you're #{positive_quality}, let's hang out.\"\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm not talking about who pays on the first date. Sometimes I just want forehead kisses and to be the little spoon. Tell me I have pretty eyes ffs. Hell, I'd be over the moon if my girl surprised me with flowers or some shit.\nWhat things do you secretly wish your SO would do, that are typically done by the man in the relationship?",
"chosen": "Take out the garbage. Rather than trying to stuff oversized items into an already full can.\n",
"rejected": "I talk to my SO about this. She really likes to be the little spoon and didn't know I liked it when she did it and I told her it was really cozy. \n\n\nI've also talked about how rarely she gives me compliments on my looks. I get compliments often, but rarely got any on my looks until I talked about it. Women are not always thinking that way. Men are more prone to compliment women. She just kinda assumed I knew that, but now it's been much better.\n"
}
] | 8
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000016689300537109375,
"logprob2": -13.75,
"signal": 13.749998331069946
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000024557113647460938,
"logprob2": -8.5,
"signal": 8.499975442886353
}
| -5.250023
| 4
|
5280
|
[
{
"query": "When looking for a significant other, what are things you won't budge on?\nWhat are some non-negotiable deal breakers for you?",
"chosen": "Poor communication...\n\nIdentity Politics...\n\nLack of intelligence.\n",
"rejected": "Hitting.\n\nI don't hit people - first - ever. If you hit me, I will hit back, I don't care who you are. I don't want to be hit by or hit my partner.\n"
},
{
"query": "When I was in high school a handful of girls were convinced that virgins can't have thigh gaps. Any girl with a gap, thus, has had sex.\nWhat's the worst misconception you've ever heard about women's bodies?",
"chosen": "That all women have their period with the cycles of the moon. He has gone on to study medicine and I hope he knows better now.\n",
"rejected": "When I was in middle school I thought the vagina was just a round, always-gaping hole like a tunnel. I also didn't know thrusting was involved in sex.\n"
},
{
"query": "When I was younger I wanted the modern \"equal partnership\" type marriage, where we would share everything: money, chores, etc. \n\nNow that I'm older, and honesty quite jaded from dating a string of self-important career women, I find myself dreaming of a Donna Reed type wife, where I pay for everything, but she does all the chores, and supports me 100%.\nFellow Men: Do you want a traditional or modern wife?",
"chosen": "Of course I do, but not as much as give.\n\nMaybe I'm just wording this really poorly, but you don't think the male holding and comforting the female is more traditional than the female holding and comforting the male?\n",
"rejected": "I want a partner, not a servant.\n"
},
{
"query": "So, I'm in a dilemma over here of what to do, hope you guys can give me some input.\n\nThere is a concert next weekend on a club that my girlfriend doesn't like that much that I really want to go. \n\nI've asked her several times to go with me with no luck, however she doesn't wants me to go either. I know it seems somewhat juvenile the situation I'm in, I could just go by myself and deal with the shitstorm later, buy maybe there's something else I can do you can help me with.\nHow to convince my girlfriend to go to an event with me?",
"chosen": "If she doesn't want to go, she doesn't want to go. But she should also realize that she can't tell you not to go. Why doesn't she want you to go?\n",
"rejected": "If she doesn't want to go, ask a friend. She can decide not to go, which is fine, but if you want to go then go.\n\nIf you're worried about getting in trouble for going to a gig, you might want to remind her that she isn't your dad.\n"
},
{
"query": "So, I have the opportunity of getting paid 250€/year, by donating sperm 5x per year. What do you guys feel about this?\n\nAll of my friends think it's really creepy to know that you have a son/daughter somewhere out there, but I feel okay about it, since it's only my DNA that makes him/her my kid. And I wouldn't know the parents nor the kid, so..\n\n\nWhat's your opinion about this?\nWhat do you guys feel about sperm donation?",
"chosen": "You won't have kids out there. You'll be helping other people *who really want kids* to have kids.\n\nSounds like easy money. Go for it.\n",
"rejected": "Actual sperm donor here. I'm happy to answer any questions as people are spewing a lot of misinformation it seems.\n\nI like the fact I'm able to help a couple somewhere. I'm a healthy 6'4\" guy with blue eyes and a master's degree meaning on paper I'm pretty desirable. It takes a very high sperm count to be eligible and there is a height requirement of 5'9\", but that isn't a strict cutoff depending on a donors background.\n\nCurrently 4 women have purchased my donations, I have a maximum cutoff of 10 families and 25 children (many families will go with the same donor if they had good success with the first child). When a child turns 18 they specially are allowed one Skype/phone call to me. If I want to continue contact after that I can if I choose. I actually encouraged them to in my letter to the parents I was required to write.\n\nI make $70 per donation, 48 hours of abstaining is required prior to donation so I usually go twice a week, sometimes three times.\n\nEvery 6 months I get a full panel STD testing and physical and once the blood results come back all samples prior to that 6 months are released for purchasing.\n"
},
{
"query": "Never expected so many answers. If you feel like it, don't miss the opportunity to say something nice to someone else, it will help you feel a tiny bit better 💗\nWhat are you struggling with rn?",
"chosen": "Trying to like salad.\n",
"rejected": "I'm lonely and haven't gotten over some personal events yet\n"
},
{
"query": "I recently moved to a different office, and my mates commented on my lack of stuff. I guess my cube does seem a bit cold due to the lack of family or SO pictures or really anything that links to me. What can I say... I like my privacy. Also, I don't like the idea of people knowing more about me than I've told them. What about your office space?\nAre you a minimalist at work?",
"chosen": "I don't have any decorations at the moment in my deskspace. Maybe I'll bring some later. But my workplace has had a break-in before, so the most I'll add are posters or something.\n\nOther than that, I'm kind of private myself.\n",
"rejected": "My office space is the Housekeeping desk at the property I work at. \n\nThe only thing unique about it is that I change the wallpaper on the computer and no one ever seems to question it... even when I put something like MLP up.\n"
},
{
"query": "My relatives are asking me what I want for graduation gifts and I don't have many particular answers, more I'm just looking for some long lasting, high quality essential items to own. Any advice?\nWhat are some essential items worth spending a lot on?",
"chosen": "A good set of kitchen knives - Japanese or German steel\n",
"rejected": "I'm a CS major so I spend a lot of time coding/networking and I imagine this is true for anyone who uses a computer in their job. I bought a $$120 mechanical keyboard and my god, the difference it makes.\n\nIt's part of that, \"invest in your tools\" thing. If you use something often, it's probably worth it to get a nice one. If I was a handyman, I'd have a nice toolset, you should probably buy a nice bed since you should sleep a decent amount every day. It's not worth it to buy the latest and greatest TV if you hardly ever watch TV. Something that does the job will do.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm trying to commit to getting more fit and working out. For the most part, I don't mind doing cardio exercises and running (I do look forward to running better 10Ks), but I have this huge social fear of any sort of weight training.\n\nI face this sort of mental wall of feeling that I'm \"too weak\" to train. I'm afraid of being \"exposed\" and \"not doing it right\", which I know are ridiculous concerns. I know I need to move past it to actually stop feeling so weak, but as soon as there's someone else in the gym, I chicken out.\n\nNote: I don't really have any buddies who can go to the gym and coach me.\nMen, how can I get past the fear of weight training",
"chosen": "Why not buy two dumbbells and start at home? When you're a little fitter, you can branch out into the gym, or buy a bench for your house (enabling more exercises). To answer your point about proper form, there should be more than enough material online (e.g.: Youtube).\n",
"rejected": "It takes time. Honestly, when I see someone who looks like they haven't worked out a day in their life, I feel a lot of respect for them. Even if it's infrequent, it takes time and effort to get in shape, and if anyone is willing to put in the time good on them. \n\nIf you're not doing it right, someone might come up to you and say \"Hey man, you're not doing it right\" and show you how.\n"
},
{
"query": "Trying to avoid carbs, so I can't just peel it and throw it on some toast, so it's gotta be something else. Can anybody help a brother out please?\nI want to eat avocados, but not on toast/bread. Can anybody point me to some quick recipes for this snack?",
"chosen": "Just make guacamole and either eat it straight or use something like carrot sticks to eat it (or you can even use the guac as a topping for salads and meats).\n",
"rejected": "I enjoy mixing an avocado with a can of tuna in a bowl and adding a bit of hot sauce to it.\n"
},
{
"query": "The biggest one for me would be when people on here say \"Only top 1% of men can get laid... us bottom 99%ers can't find any women at all!!!\"\n\nI saw on /r/Tinder when somebody was talking about looking average and getting 3-5 matches a day. Everybody was yelling at him and exlaiming \"you know you're in the top 1%! You're ripped!!\"\n\nThe dude was pitifully average. It was obvious he went to the gym, but he wasn't like jacked. People on here make it seem like getting women or being attractive is 100% impossible. Like going to the gym 3 days a week is unreasonably hard.\n\nWhat other things do Redditors say that are annoying?\nWhat's one thing that irritates you about men on Reddit?",
"chosen": "Answers to myriad questions about personal improvement amounts to \"go to gym\" \nI don't think simply moving a heavy thing a short distance many times in a row will help someone be a better person.\n",
"rejected": "The 'white knights' of men of reddit.\n\nNothing but pure cringe.\n"
},
{
"query": "I graduated with honors from Boston College in 2011 with a BA in political science. I've always enjoyed my major, but I graduated into adverse economic times and was underemployed for a while. I found a decent paying job eventually - but it was in a field I found intellectually uninteresting, with little prospect of promotions.\n\nI'm going back to school now as a 26 year old and wanted to know what it was like. I anticipate being more focused, directed and maybe less keen on the social dimensions of college - though I'm not going to shun friends if I make them. What was it like for you, if you went back to school later in life?\nGoing back to school as a 26 year old for my second college degree in Computer Science. Any tips?",
"chosen": "Weird, you are basically me. Graduated in Philosophy from Kenyon College in 2010. Puttzed around for a few years working odd jobs and ended up working a job in finance that made me want to tear my dick off. Decided to go back for a second degree at 25, and I've been doing that for a couple of years. My experience has been that, being a bit older, the social dimension doesn't really appeal to me. I've made friends of utility, people I study with, but I'm certainly not partying with the 19 year old kids I take chemistry with. I'm more focused on academics than I was the first time around. It's really my sole purpose now, basically my job, so I treat it like a job. Of course, I commute to school and I have friends my own age in the area, so there's less incentive to make new friends, but depending on where you go there may be other people in your situation you can connect with. I've met a couple good bros. The only thing I've really struggled with is the lack of autonomy and self-suffiency I feel by not working / living the unstructured life of a student again. Hope this helps, good luck!\n",
"rejected": "Don't look at the younger people you are going to meet as if they don't know anything yet. They don't. You have an immense amount of experience working in the professional world and the responsibilities that come with it. That is a tool that most undergrads haven't learned yet. So understand that a certain level of irresponsibility will exist. Just enjoy it.\n\nAlso, CS is a blast. I have a degree in CS and I am currently working at a great job. If you have any questions, concerns, or would like to know more about anything feel free to drop me a PM.\n"
},
{
"query": "Asking for ideas because most of my former hobbies aren't stimulating anymore and I'd like to try something new.\nWhat are your cheap hobbies (that are fun to do alone)?",
"chosen": "Getting into old(er) gaming. You can buy old consoles like a Nintend DS or a Playstation 2 for around £20 second hand and many games are dirt cheap.\n",
"rejected": "Walking/Hiking/Running. Its amazing how after a few months you start to find new trails, shortcuts, places you wouldn't ever have known existed otherwise. I happen to prefer forested areas, and I'm lucky that my areas has lots of small to large wooded parks, stream corridors, etc. If there is a stream nearby, guarantee that there is an official or unofficial footpath somewhere.\n"
},
{
"query": "And how and why? Are you a heat devil? Or do you like a better flavour? I love all hot sauces so feel free to blow my mind. \n\nHere are some basic sauces you might know:\n\nTexas Pete\n\nTabasco\n\nFrank's Red Hot\n\nSriracha Sauce\n\nCholula Hot Sauce\n\nLouisiana\nWhat hot sauce is best?",
"chosen": "Satan's Blood.\n",
"rejected": "Superior to Sriracha is the sambal oelek. \n\nShout out to Lao Gan Ma for more of a chili paste than actual sauce. It's as addictive as crack.\n"
}
] | 7
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000024557113647460938,
"logprob2": -8,
"signal": 7.9999754428863525
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000016689300537109375,
"logprob2": -9.75,
"signal": 9.749998331069946
}
| 1.750023
| 6
|
1635
|
[
{
"query": "I’m 22m and over the past few years or so I’ve been a very boring and basic cycle. Wake up, play games, watch tv, eat, go to work, go to sleep, repeat. \n\nI know I shouldn’t compare, but I look on my friends Snapchat or Instagram and I see them doing SO many different things. It’s like everyday truly is a brand new day. All of this is worsened by the fact that I don’t really have friends. Besides my girlfriend, there’s not a group of people I’m actively talking to or hanging out with. \n\nI wanna be the type of person who LOVES to wake up in the morning because I have something to look forward to. How do I get a life?\nMen of Reddit, how do I “get a life”?",
"chosen": "I'll tell you the same thing I tell everyone who's aimless: Start working out and eating better. Getting fit will improve every aspect of your life, and it's a great kickoff-point to become a more fulfilled person. You don't even need to visit a gym, there are great bodyweight routines that you can do at home.\n\nYou may have to force yourself for the first 3 to 4 weeks, but after that you'll start loving it (when you begin to see and feel changes). Just stick to it and your life will improve, I promise.\n",
"rejected": "Here's a question I have for you: Are you happy with what you're doing now? Like when you get up, do you feel that something's missing? My other question would be, do you think you would feel that way if you didn't look at social media and comparing yourself? Let me tell you a story about me:\n\n&#x200B;\n\nAll I've ever wanted to do was making just enough money to pay bills and have my hobbies and loves in life. Those are grilling, hunting, camping, playing guitar, fishing, reading books (sci-fi/fantasy) and whatever the fuck else I wanted. Some might not call that a life, some might say that nerding most of the year and then getting outdoors for a couple of days just to hunt isn't a life. I disagree. What you need to ask yourself is this: What do I want out of life? I asked myself that a long time ago when everyone else was getting scholarships, making great grades. I hated school, and I hated more the idea that just because I was a little bit intelligent about some things that it meant I was destined for college. Why? I hated school, so why go back? I hated work, but if I had to do it, I'm going to make sure I get the easiest job where I work (in a factory) and make the most amount of money doing it. All I want is to be able to do what I want. You don't have to have what some would call a \"productive life.\" \n\nIf you are perfectly content with your life and you answer yourself honestly, why the fuck bother doing more unless I want to, then there is no reason to feel like your life isn't fulfilled. Barring that, if your life isn't fulfilled, ask yourself what YOU want to do. What sounds like fun to you? Ask yourself, and when you come up with an answer, go do that thing. Do it on YOUR merits, not because someone else finds it fun.\n"
},
{
"query": "The ones that come to mind are Elon Musk and Tom Brady but who are the male equivalents of female Instagram influencers\nWho are common /popular male role models? and why?",
"chosen": "I don’t think instagram influencers make good role models for either sex.\n",
"rejected": "I'd say Anthony Bourdain used to be one. He was successful because he was very relatable. He worked hard. Was very respectful of other cultures. He was critical of himself and humble. And eventually became very successful.\n\nI might say Brian Shaw. I don't ever want to try to get a physic similar to his. But I think he works very hard, has become very successful, and seems genuinely a very kind soul.\n\nI think it's hard to be a famous male role model because I think men are supposed to become successful through hard work and a lot of guys work really really hard. Guys don't become famous because they work hard. They become famous for other reasons usually a combination of luck and looks. I think it might be more common for men to find role models that they know in real life that have what they hope to have one day.\n"
},
{
"query": "I grew up with 80's video games, comics, and so on, so that's one thing I get. But one thing that I don't understand nowadays is why some people buy a row of like 3 computer monitors, like why not just buy one big and wide monitor? \n\nWhat are things you just don't get?\nWhat do you not understand about aspects of geek culture?",
"chosen": "Multiple monitors let you put different things on different screen areas far more easily, plus a monitor the size of 2~3 would be friggin massive.\n",
"rejected": "I can't understand how some people can play *one* game all day non-stop (especially streamers). I get bored pretty easily and need to swap games constantly.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm here at the gym just blasting some Marilyn Manson, who I always used to just write off as some weirdo in tits.\n\nQuickly realizing a lot of his music is *decent*, and the guy has been performing since the 90's.\nWhat's been around for forever that you've just recently realized you're a fan of?",
"chosen": "80s music. Specifically 80s *pop* music.\n\nI was born in 1990. A few years ago I took *great pleasure* in \"discovering\" Soft Cell, Eurythmics, Toto, a-ha, Tears For Fears, Depeche Mode, Bonnie Tyler, Roxette, Wham!...\n\nIt's all so cheesy and synth-y and I love it.\n",
"rejected": "Maroon 5s first album, songs about Jane. Every other album is meh\n"
},
{
"query": "This may not be your situation but it seems to happen more often than the vice versa.\nWhy do married men need to ask permission before going out with friends?",
"chosen": "It's not a case of permission, it's a case of respecting your partner enough to let her know. It might _seem_ like permission because people's partners might have some sort of plan for the same night that they haven't communicated yet, and in general people will put their partners first.\n",
"rejected": "This is not a married men thing, but for either married partner. You should be considerate of the person you're with. You don't necessarily have to ask permission but should still let them know if you have plans.\n"
},
{
"query": "UV Volt:\n\nUV Blue, Mt. Dew Voltage, lemonade, an orange or lemon, optional: blackberries and blueberries. \n\nPut UV Blue in freezer overnight, everything else should be chilled. \n\nOptional: muddle blueberries and blackberries at the bottom of the glass. \n\n2 parts UV Blue, 3 parts Mt. Dew Voltage, 1 part lemonade. \n\nStir. \n\nGarnish with slice of lemon/orange peel, squeeze the oils over the top of the drink. \n\nLazy Aztec:\n\nKahlua (I prefer French Vanilla), Half & Half, cinnamon, optional: allspice, nutmeg, pumpkin spice. \n\nOver a full glass of ice, pour one part H&H, then 2 parts of Kahlua, then one part of H&H. Stir until mixed. Add a small amount of Kahlua after you stir, no further mixing. On top of the ice, sprinkle cinnamon. Other spices can be added if desired.\nWhat's an alcoholic cocktail you invented and want to share?",
"chosen": "I doubt I was the first person to try these combos but:\n\nWhiskey, cloudy apple juice and ginger beer is pretty good.\n\nAlso dark rum, pineapple juice, ginger ale and lime juice, in something like a 2:6:4:1 ratio. Bloody good without the rum too.\n\nWhite Russians with vanilla vodka are great too and have resulted in many a pleasantly messy evening.\n",
"rejected": "Cake batter:\n\n* 1/2 part French Kiss vanilla liqueur\n* 1/2 part vanilla vodka\n* 3 parts ginger ale\n"
},
{
"query": "Did you guys have anxiety to get a better job? I know this will vary depending on degree and experiences, but I’m wondering how you felt and what you did regarding initial shitty jobs.\nWhat was your employment experience just out of school?",
"chosen": "To me, every job was a stepping stone and a way to get experience that I didn't get in my previous job. I have worked continuously since I graduated college, only leaving a job when I had another job lined up. I'm 49 and have owned my company for 7 years, been in this business for 30 years.\n",
"rejected": "I went to straight to grad school after i finished my undergrad stuff. I got an MPH in epidemiology and did a lot of extracurricular work. I was one of the few lucky ones where my extracurricular work lead me to my first job. It was a quality assurance analyst position at a hospital where I would get berated and talked down on by some 80 year old statistician. It sucked major ass but i sucked it up and waited out a year before i found a better position.\n"
},
{
"query": "I found this place on the Web called nuru studio that offers certain services, such as nuru and body rub massages, with the implication that they offer happy endings. On one hand, there are the horror stories of the sex trade and how people are forced into it. Then there are stories of people who willingly work at these parlours to make a little extra money, or they enjoy it, or whatever. My conclusion is that it depends on the place and the people.\n\nWhat do you think about men who visit these places? Should they feel wrong for doing so?\nWhat do you think about \"massage\" parlours?",
"chosen": "I'm not interested in going. I don't have a problem with men that go to these places as long as they are respectful. If you feel they are being forced to give you a handjob, you probably shouldn't participate, but if you think they are willingly do it, then its a consensual act.\n",
"rejected": "imo prostitution should totally be legal. if you wanna sell your body, and you're an adult, then you should be able to. But, as per usual, the laws that govern the land and prohibit \"crime\" actually fuel the industry. Just imagine, no pimps needed to \"protect\" the girls because the fucking law would do that.\n"
},
{
"query": "In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.\n\nI know it’s just a stereotype that men constantly want sex and women always turn it down. However, am I doing something wrong?\n\nI’m fine with a 2-3 times a week. We have needs.\nMen, how often do you want to have sex?",
"chosen": "maybe 1 once a month if they want to\n",
"rejected": "*In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.*\n\n*However, am I doing something wrong?*\n\nAre you initiating the sex, or are you just waiting for him to take the lead and when he doesn't you assume he doesn't want to have sex? It's quite possible he did want more sex but thought you didn't, so he didn't bother trying.\n\nLikewise, guys will sometimes avoid it if they're stressed, not feeling great, etc. Not necessarily because they don't want it, but because they're worried they won't be able to perform and it'll be very embarrassing.\n"
},
{
"query": "I don't want to do anything with my life. I realized early on that I'm just an A. Joe, nothing significant. I'm not talented, not smart etc., well, like 99.9% of the population. *wink*\n\nI'm 37 years old, I got a avg. job, I like to read books (3-4 hours a day), have no dreams about big house/car, holidays at the other side of the world, expensive clothes/mobiles.\n\n Oh, and I don't like to work. I work to pay the bills but I have no desire to work like a horse, my dad/granddad had nothing after 60-70 working hours a week.\n\nMy female \"friends\" (they are buddies rather) tell me constantly that's why I will never ever have a real relationship, because women want a REAL MAN, not a nobody.\n\nWell, I havent seen a REAL MAN in my life (James Bond and his co are not real men); everybody has boring work, terrible relationship but they are MEN except me.\n\nWhy? How? \n\n\n/rant off\nI have no goals in life. Women say: you are not a MAN. Really?",
"chosen": "I don't think it has anything to do with being a \"REAL MAN\" or not. You just sound like a really depressing person, honestly. Why would anyone want to be in a relationship with someone who chooses to be boring? \n\nIt's not all about money. Life is not 100% what you do 9-5. Not everyone has boring work and terrible relationships. I feel like I want to help you but I don't even know what to say. This is just really sad.\n",
"rejected": "As far as whether you are a man: Of course you are.\n\nAs far as whether women are required to be attracted to you: Of course they're not.\n\nWomen have preferences just like men do, and everybody knows that they have a strong preference for men who are successful professionally. Call it gold-digging, call it instinct to provide for future offspring, call it desire to be taken care of, call it whatever you want... it's there, and everybody knows it. So, no surprise when women do not feel attracted to someone who doesn't want to put extra effort into his life.\n\nBasically, by choosing an easy job that just gets you by, you're choosing to forego a chance at a relationship with any and all women who desire a successful man. In return, you get 20 or more hours per week of your personal time back. That decision is 100% yours to make. Other people can do what they want with their own time, but who are they to judge what you do with your time?\n\nThese women are way in the wrong for trying to shame you into being who *they* want you to be. If you told a fat chick that she's not a \"real\" woman because she needs to lose weight, imagine the backlash from that! That's the equivalent of what these women are doing to you, and that's pretty fucked up.\n"
},
{
"query": "Have you mentioned it to them? \n\n(In any situation. (Behaviour/whilst communicating/habits/sexually ect ))\nWhat is something your SO does that you wish they didnt?",
"chosen": "She is really into her fandom. If anything I would just like her not to talk to me about it as my eyes go cross when she starts on a spiel.\n",
"rejected": "She doesn't close cabinets after getting something from the kitchen and then will leave the room. Or even worse, she'll come into a room I'm in to ask me a question, then leave without closing the door. \n\nThey're small things but they irritate the *hell* out of me.\n"
},
{
"query": "I read a lot of relationship books and articles. A lot of them (a LOT) that are geared towards women tell women to stop wanting A, B and C.... to lower their expectations.... to \"settle\" for a nice guy and stop caring about all other requirements.\n\nWhat I've always wondered is.... do guys actually WANT this? Do men actually want women \"settling\" for them? Would you really be happy in a relationship with a woman, where you knew she wanted someone with X income and Y height, but resigned herself with you because she was too afraid of ending up single forever?\n\nI see lots of \"nice guys\" on the Internet complaining how women won't give them a chance, but honestly, why would you want to have to convince a person to date you? Isn't it better if the person actually likes you for who you are?\n\nI say this as a girl who HAS had guys date her because they are desperate (they couldn't get the hot girl, so they settled for the chubby nerd girl.) It sucked, I hated it! It blew giant holes in my self-esteem. I can't wrap my head around why guys would WANT this. \n\nCan anyone explain?\nGuys, do you WANT a woman to settle for you?",
"chosen": "1) Stop reading bullshit and realize nobody can tell you what to do or what to stop doing.\n\n2) Yes we're aware of the stereotype that women are always on their boyfriend's case trying to fix him/change him/improve him. So it would be a nice gesture if you would NOT do that. \n\nWe don't want you to settle, we want you to make an adult choice about the person you want to be with, and treat us as fellow human being rather than your own pet project. \n\nThe problem is not that we want you to settle. The problem is that you eventually get tired and do settle, because your standards are impossible, then decide you can shape-shift the poor dork you just bedded into a sparkling vampire overnight.\n",
"rejected": "\"Stop having ludicrous, impossible standards\" and \"settle for me\" are two different things.\n"
},
{
"query": "I for one would like to give Montana a go; Hunting, fishing, and reading Norman McLean all day. There’s several parts of Canada and on the Iberian peninsula (completely different places, I know) that look amazing if I were thinking outside the US. I’d also like to settle down in Asheville, NC someday. I’m from the Blue Ridge mountains, and can feel them calling me home.\nWhere would you like to live/move to someday?",
"chosen": "Canada, ideally Toronto or Montreal. Currently live in Scandinavia, and am quite content here, but I just want something else, more international. Canada seems like a good bet.\n",
"rejected": "I love where I live (Southern NH), but if it weren't for family my fiance and I would move out of the country either to Montreal or Ireland\n"
},
{
"query": "What do you do for a living? Would you recommend your field to others?\nCareers?",
"chosen": "Chemical Engineer. at an internship right now.\n\nIf you can bust your butt enough to get through it, I would recommend it, yes.\n",
"rejected": "Geologist, and no. I feel sorry for all the young suckers in /r/GeologyCareers who think they are going to have a great career.\n"
},
{
"query": "We have been married nearly 16 years. She is 9 years younger than me. I am approaching 50 VERY quickly. We have serious issues. Last night, she brought it up, tearfully and honestly, that she is unhappy and does not understand why I seem to not be into her. I am not sure either.\n\nThis post was much longer but kept getting deleted for some reason. I can answer questions.\nHow do I deal with no attraction to my wife?",
"chosen": "Look into the 5 love languages (book)\n",
"rejected": "Depression can manifest in many atypical ways. It doesn't always seem like sadness.\n\nHave the two of you considered couples counseling?\n\nWhat if this is something easily rectified? Wouldn't you like to have the hots for your wife again?\n\nA physical isn't a bad idea either. My friend's husband lost his interest when he went type 2 diabetic. It took them a while to figure it out. When he finally begrudgingly went for a physcal, he was able to make the changes which dramatically improved their relationship.\n"
}
] | 8
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000016689300537109375,
"logprob2": -5.375,
"signal": 5.374998331069946
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00010967254638671875,
"logprob2": -7,
"signal": 6.999890327453613
}
| 1.624892
| 6
|
126742
|
[
{
"query": "We sure didn't see this coming. You really hit us hard [my name]. What we wonder is why you would choose a therapist that tells you to give in to your feelings instead of someone who can help you out of this, help heal you. For instance, why not take testosterone instead of a blocker and estrogen? Sounds like you had already made up your mind. Is this what you really want? Have you given up on normal? The path you are choosing may seem to be good right now, but down the road it will certainly lead to greater unhappiness. Think of the kind of people you will have to associate with. There can never be a normal life. \n\n We love you more than you can know, but we can not support you in a life that leads you into darkness. We will do everything we can to help if you want to try to heal yourself, absolutely anything. \n\n As we look back over the years, we see a guy who was a little quirkey, but he was always a happy kid with a great sense of humor. You liked camping and fishing and other outdoors stuff. Nothing strange there. We all have challenges growing up and finding out who we are and where we belong. I know you have been disappointed in your relationships with women, but you are giving up when you need to perservere.\n\n Please step back for a while and let us help you. We love you so much. Dad and Mom\n------------------------------------\nWhere do I start? Like, there's so much they don't understand and I think that's the source of some of their pain, and I know they're pretty transphobic since they're conservative Christians in their late 60's. How do I navigate this? Are there any good Christian (or secular) resources I can show them? I can also post my letter to them if that helps. Thanks in advance, y'all.\nCame out to my parents this weekend, this is their response. I'm not sure how to reply. What should I say?",
"chosen": "That seems like a really tough situation. It sounds like they are in denial of the existence of trans people. It seems like you're dependent on them as well? Perhaps you can bring them into therapy with you to have the therapist on your side to help you out. Take care!\n",
"rejected": "They may listen to science, possibly.\n\nAlso, perhaps state that you don't need support or even understanding, you just need to be able to be honest with them?\n"
},
{
"query": "For those who have the game, what do you think? There was such negativity and I LOVE it so far, so im interested to see what everyone else thinks. Im currently on the Moira asylum chapter, playing in the dark, and im terrified!\nNew Thief game thoughts so far?",
"chosen": "I love everything EXCEPT the map. Maybe its just me bit I have serious issues finding my way to missions.\n",
"rejected": "Fucking hell, I'm in the middle of the Moira chapter and I had to take a reddit break because I'm just too freaked out. Creeeeeeeeeepy ambiance.\n"
},
{
"query": "This thread is for simple style questions that you may have, especially those that don't warrant their own thread. We all want a diversified opinion, so feel free to answer any questions (of which you know the answer).\n\nExample questions: What are your favorite black boots <$250? What should I wear on a date? Are there any good white t-shirts?\nSimple Questions - May 01, 2015",
"chosen": "Button ups that run narrow in the shoulders?\n\nI usually have to size up to a medium for them to fit in the chest and then they're too big everywhere else.\n\nI don't mind needing to take in the waist, but from what I've been reading around here both the bust and shoulders are the hard parts to tailor.\n",
"rejected": "So, guys, besides slides and Birks, what sandals are calling your name this year?\n"
},
{
"query": "This thread is for simple style questions that you may have, especially those that don't warrant their own thread. We all want a diversified opinion, so feel free to answer any questions (of which you know the answer).\r\n\r\nExample questions: What are your favorite black boots <$250? What should I wear on a date? Are there any good white t-shirts?\nSimple Questions - Nov 7",
"chosen": "I could use some new layering shirts. Simple tank tops or short sleeves to wear under cardigans. I've finally noticed that all of mine pull at the boobs and cling to my belly (which I'm working on losing). My current ones are mostly from Target, and sizing up doesn't help, especially because then the arm holes are huge and the over the shoulder area is too big. Suggestions? I'm just looking for plain solid colors.\n",
"rejected": "Where can I find a nice-ish Christmas sweater? My boyfriend got a super cool reindeer/fair isle one at H&M two years ago and I'm jealous. I want to be overly festive too! Under $50 would be great, but I'll go up to $100. Doesn't have to be fantastic quality since I'll only wear it once or twice a year.\n"
},
{
"query": "Doesn't matter if it's for 360 or Atari, and this is definitely not a \"who's been playing the longest\" contest for cred or anything (but I wouldn't expect that here). I just want to know, what game (or games) makes up your earliest, fondest experience with gaming?\nWhat's the first game that essentially got you into gaming?",
"chosen": "Mario 64. It was the first console game I ever had, but I still haven't beat it. I still have my 64 as well as Mario, but I can't find any of the controllers :( one of these days...\n",
"rejected": "I would say either Myst (no, I never finished it) or Donkey Kong Country. I still play DKC sometimes when other games make me rage quit, reminds me that persistence pays off!\n"
},
{
"query": "**The Rules:**\n\n* Keep your posts as responses to this thread so we don't clutter up the front page of the sub.\n* Use a **SPOILER** tag if it's applicable.\n\nSo... what are **YOU** playing this week?\n'What're You Playing?' Wednesday - May 18, 2016",
"chosen": "I'm currently on my 4th play through of Dragon Age: Inquisition.\n\n\nI'm obsessed and unashamed. I love all my Thedas babies <3\n",
"rejected": "Crucible in Destiny is my fulfilling that FPS craving Overwatch left me with. I also rediscovered Diablo 3. I want to play Bloodborne but the Forbidden Forest is full of snakes and I'm a wuss.\n"
},
{
"query": "And I **loved** it.\n\nMy DM and her boy friend have played one other time and the rest of us this was our first time. But we made plans to meet up next week to continue our quest!\n\nI can't believe I waited this long to start playing, this game is SO me.\n\n\n\nAnyways, for you all that play/have played what's been your favorite character to be so far?\n\nI am a Druid Gnome named Leila.\nI played D&D for the first time yesterday",
"chosen": "I play 4.0 with my friends from my BA degree! My character is a Tiefling warlock named Ari. If you wanted a digital game, there's also Neverwinter, a free to play D&D MMO. My friend and I play it and developed our character's backstories a bit from it!\n",
"rejected": "A Drow rogue is always a good time! Sure, everyone hates you, but it makes things much more interesting.\n"
},
{
"query": "This thread is for individual style questions that you may have, especially those that don't warrant their own thread. We all want a diversified opinion, so feel free to answer any questions (of which you know the answer). To get the best responses, please include any relevant details such as your budget, where you live, and what stores are avaliable to you.\n\nExample questions: What are your favorite black boots <$250? What should I wear on a date (or to another specific event)? Are there any good white t-shirts?\nDaily Questions - June 07, 2019",
"chosen": "What kind of flats are in style? Are ballerina flats still ok? Any recommendations for in style flats that have decent support? Bonus if they fit slightly wide feet!\n",
"rejected": "Glasses wearing ladies. How many pairs do you all have? I feel like with today's online glasses coming in at a fraction of the price as traditional in store purchases I want to have a million pairs to suit my many modes. But realistically is it silly to have more than three pairs in rotation?\n"
},
{
"query": "I’ve played the games ever since I was a little kid and have always loved them. Found the shirt this year and I love it ❤️\nDo any of my ladies here play Dynasty Warriors?! I’m so PUMPED about my new Christmas shirt!!!",
"chosen": "I love the empires series!\n",
"rejected": "Dynasty warriors 4 was my favourite, followed by Samurai Warriors 1 and Dynasty Warriors 7 and 8. Kinda fell out love for those kind of games when 9 came out but will always have fond memories of those games.\n"
},
{
"query": "Has anyone else been in a gamestop looking with a game in your hands and had an employee come up to you and say \"Your boyfriend will love that game, it's really good\"? It happens 4 out of 5 times I go in.\n\nMy response is usually, \"My boyfriend doesn't play video games\" (he doesn't) and after that they generally look confused and vaguely aroused. It's 2012! How are people still surprised that there are female gamers? YOU WORK IN A GAMESTOP YOU SEE THIS ALL THE TIME\nI swear Gamestop employees are trained to use the same bad pick up line...",
"chosen": "I worked at GameStop and had the opposite problem. Guys always ignored me to get recommendations from the male employees who didn't even own the system they were looking for.\n\nThe parents loved me though because I made sure to stay up to date with game content and would let them know if there was anything their 6 year old maybe shouldn't see.\n",
"rejected": "I've never had this problem. Maybe they (rightfully) assume that I'm single and a loser. My old Gamestop had some pretty cool people working, who would just talk about whatever I was buying with no assumptions that it wasn't for me. The new one I go to is less friendly, but I haven't had any issues there.\n\nWearing my N7 hoodie everywhere helps I'm sure - with the added bonus of distracting them from asking me if I want to preorder *x*.\n"
},
{
"query": "Hello all,\nMy family (me, husband, toddler and breastfeeding bambino) will be spending eight weeks in Turkey this northern summer and I am stuck on what to pack. I have been to turkey before so across the need to dress relatively modestly (although we will mostly be in Bodrum which i believe to be quite touristy so unsure exactly how modest is required????), but unsure how fo balance that with the heat, breastfeeding and looking somewhat chic. \nIt’s currently summer in Aus and I breastfeed in shorts and t-shirts/singlet (just regular tees, not those nifty breastfeeding ones with a hole) but don’t want to expose my stomach or shoulders in a Muslim country so reckon I’ll need an alternative. \nThere is also endless stuff we’ll need to take for the kids, so I’m keen to go as minimal as possible. So far I’m thinking I will take a white linen button down and loose white linen pants, but that’s it. Love any suggestions, thank you all!\nModest capsule (?) travel wardrobe while breastfeeding",
"chosen": "I've nursed 2 kids. My favorite is to wear a tank that I can pull down, and a shirt I can lift up over it. Stays pretty discrete. Alternatively, You can wear a crop tank you can lift up, and a shirt you can pull down (like a deep v or button down) over it. That way you can wear your normal minimalist wardrobe with a layering piece. For major flexibility/fewer clasps, you can get an \"underbust tank\" (blanqi sells one). So its a tank that goes fully under your bra, so you can just lift up a shirt and nurse and your belly is fully covered. Breastfeeding shirts are almost always overpriced and dumb looking so I typically avoid those.\n",
"rejected": "You don’t have to dress modestly in Bodrum. I was there last summer and the Turkish women had way skimpier bikinis than anything I’d packed.\n\nI visit Turkey nearly every year and have never brought a modest wardrobe, unless you are visiting a mosque or religious family members, or will be in rural areas.\n\nWhen I was BF I took a cover with me.\n"
},
{
"query": "You know the stereotype. Women always main healer, women always bot lane support, etc. This is a subject I've been very curious of over the past couple of days. Why is this? Do we really, as a gender, gravitate towards these roles? Do we perhaps like to play less aggressive roles? Why do the women who DON'T play the support role, play other roles? What do they like about their roles? \n\nObviously, I don't think every single woman wants to play a support-type role. If you aren't one of these women, I want to hear from you too. I'm just curious, so nothing scientific going on here. Just speculation.\n\nWhat I'd like to hear from you all is:\n \n* What role is your favorite to play? (Healer, DPS, Tank for mmos. Support, AD, Jungle, Mid, Solo for stuff like League.) \n\n* And why do you enjoy playing that role more than the others?\n\n* Your thoughts on why we may, as a gender, gravitate towards support roles.\nGame Roles- Do you play Support?",
"chosen": "I think a lot of girls end up that way because they play with friends or significant others, and as a general rule these people in a majority of instances want to be the cool dps'er or whatnot.\n\nPersonally I play almost exclusively tanks and healers because I find DPS less interesting and less important in a group. I like how if I'm a tank or a healer I can make up for the incompetence of others. ( although I hate playing with random people because they tend to be plenty incompetent. )\n",
"rejected": "There has been no game as yet were I liked to play support/healer. I like doing big damage.\n\nExample: in LoL my favorite role is AP carry. Big damage, but not a lot of health. There is one support that I like ad that's Blitzcrank, because it still feels like you are really in the fighting zone.\n\nOther LoL playing women I know: one is AD carry, one plays mostly jungle, AP carry, haven't seen her playing a lot of support. But she is really into bad ass stuff. And fire.\n"
},
{
"query": "I’m struggling here I can’t do the khakis and polos anymore. \n\nFor one job I have to have a uniform. Polo, and the rest is customizable within a limit. I normally opt for black skinny jeans and a black belt and converse because that’s as close as I can get within company policy. Jewelry can’t be over the top to I include a few rings and call it a day. \n\nMy other main gig. I’m in academia. I show up looking like a lumberjack more than anything. So much flannel. I’ll throw on a leather jacket if it gets cold enough but here again my black skinny jeans are my savior. Once again usually with my university polo or some form of button up. Unless I have a normal t shirt and a flannel. I try to spruce it up with some jewelry. Here though my combat boots do make more appearances especially when it is raining. I’ve worn band shirts under flannels and jackets before but I don’t want to test that “professional” line. So spikes and other over the top flair probably isn’t the smartest move.\n\nAs someone who basically works 7 days a week and never goes out, I went to a concert and dressed “normal” and man it felt good. \n\nI don’t wear makeup and nail polish is a no go just because I have very very short nails . At this point though I’d love to hear any suggestions.\n(Subtle) Alternative/punk professional?",
"chosen": "Some great suggestions here already; a blazer would be a great way of smartening up instantly if you feel the need to, also some polished doc martens or something like that. I instantly thought of the designer Yohji Yamamoto - maybe you can find some inspiration there?\n",
"rejected": "Get a blazer, you can pair it with pretty much anything, and it looks great over punk/alt layers and band tees. Band tee, black or plaid skinny jeans, jewelry, blazer. Or maybe try wearing a leather skirt with opaque tights and combat boots\n"
}
] | 7
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000016689300537109375,
"logprob2": -5,
"signal": 4.999998331069946
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00006818771362304688,
"logprob2": -5,
"signal": 4.999931812286377
}
| -0.000067
| 5
|
4209
|
[
{
"query": "I seem to develop feelings for anyone who is reasonably attractive and nice to me. Seriously, I should know better. I have scared off many good friends because I thought there was more going on. How do you draw that line and figure out that they are just being nice?\nHow do you stop yourself from mistaking genuine honesty and kindness for romantic interest?",
"chosen": "...Sorry, know what part?\n",
"rejected": "Here's what I do: \nALWAYS assume they are always just being nice to you and that no-one is or could ever by romantically interested in you. Not until you are actually in their bed and engaged in coitus can you start to believe they have any kind of romantic feelings for you. Even then it's best to maintain a healthy scepticism. I've been married 10 years and part of me still thinks she's just being nice.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm currently working a night shift type job and it's just her and I. Things have gotten awkward. I thought it was going to be silent but it surely was not. It happened, we got really quiet, and now we're not talking. Do I address the fart? Do I leave it alone? How do I repair this professional working relationship now? Has anyone else been in a situation like this before?\nGuys what do you do in a situation when you accidentally rip a huge ass fart in front of your female coworker?",
"chosen": "Blame it on her.\n",
"rejected": "You missed a perfect opportunity to look her dead in the eye and go 'and now your turn'\n"
},
{
"query": "Note: I'm in high school. My date and I have been texting and know a bit about each other but not a crazy amount. We go to different schools. Any good conversation starters/simple topics to bring up?\nMen, what are some good conversation starters for a first date?",
"chosen": "How did you meet? If I meet a girl rock climbing, the easy conversation starter is rock climbing.\n",
"rejected": "Just start a conversation with her the same way you would with one of your guy friends. If you like talking about movies, talk about movies. If you like talking about sports, talk about sports. If you like talking about World War I, talk about World War I.\n\nHopefully she likes talking about some of the same things as you do. If she doesn't, you'll learn that she's probably not someone you want to go on a second date with.\n"
},
{
"query": "So a while back I was swimming at a pool owned by the apartment complex that my friend \"Julie\" lives at. We're both early 20s and have been friends for a few months. It was a weekend and we had just been hanging out swimming like we had a few times before cause of the free pool but kind of lost track of time and we both had things we had to get to pretty soon. So we head out of the pool back into her apartment and tells me since we both have to leave in like twenty minutes, that I could just hop in the shower with her and wash off the chlorine and that way we'd both be clean in time and wouldn't run out of hot water if one of us waited until the other was done. I agree since I don't want to be late and follow her into a bathroom where she has a pretty standard shower-bathtub combo that fits two. \n\nWell I didn't realize when I agreed that she meant shower naked; I just thought she was talking about rinsing the pool chemicals out of our hair while in our swim gear, but she takes off her bathing suit and starts the water running! I don't want to act weird about the thing so I take off my swim trunks and step in the shower with her. Mind you our friendship had been 100% platonic and not even really flirty much at all so this really caught me off guard. I mean she's not a stunner but she's definitely above average in looks and has a fairly athletic body, but I hadn't even seen her in a bikini before since her bathing suit is a one piece, and yet she was standing there with her breasts and vag exposed.\n\nThe shower itself wasn't the greatest because only one of us could really fit one of us at a time under the showerhead, so we kind of took turns standing under it washing our hair while the other stood behind and used the indirect water. We'd stand back to back either way with a little less than a foot of separation, which honestly i'm kind of glad because at times I was rockin' a chub and didn't want her to see it let alone accidentally poke her with it, though when we would switch places we both would see each others front side briefly. There wasn't really anything sexual about it honestly and we didn't touch each other and just kind of had regular conversation, then got out, toweled up and changed.\n\nI'm wondering if even though the whole thing felt 100% platonic if this was a really subtle way of her flirting. Or is this something that you've done with platonic female friends and i'm just naive? She's not even mentioned the incident once since it happened, as if it were no big deal at all. Still, could she have been hoping I made a move? She moved to this country from Sweden though when she was ten so maybe it was a cultural thing, but I dunno...\nHave you ever just showered with a female friend? Was she coming on to me?",
"chosen": "Post of the month.\n\nI think the only way she could've been more direct was if she was touching you.\n",
"rejected": "So, you know how girls are always upset that guys don't get the 'obvious' hints they're dropping?\n\nThis is not one of those times.\n\nLiterally the only thing she could have done that would have been less subtle would have been to grab you by the dick. And given your reaction to her ***stripping naked in front of you*** (in a tiny shower, where contact is virtually guaranteed, no less), I'm not entirely convinced even that would have worked.\n"
},
{
"query": "I’ve been intermittent fasting and going to the gym every other day for about 6 months. Lost like 20-25 pounds maybe, but my midsection seems exactly the same. I’m sure it’ll go away eventually, but how can I get that shit gone quicker?\nHow do I get rid of these love handles and belly fat?",
"chosen": "Calorie deficit\n\nIf your weight loss has plateaued you need to reduce calorie intake and up the exercise. Unfortunately you can’t target where fat is lost from\n\nHIIT, get that heart rate up and eat healthier, try and reduce sugar as much as you can\n",
"rejected": "It's the last bit of fat to go on most people. I have love handles if I'm even at 12% body fat. You need to get really lean sometimes.\n"
},
{
"query": "What's your thought process during sex? Is your head in the game or does your mind just wander?\nWhat do you think about during sex?",
"chosen": "\"Dude this is exactly what I wanted to do tonight. I wonder if she's going to use my toothbrush. Fuck. I'm making a bumrush for the bathroom so she doesn't try anything funny. Fuck did the condom break? Let me feel. Nope, we're good. Sweet, this chick is dirty. I dig this. I wonder what my roommate is doing.\"\n",
"rejected": "anything everything. what to do next/ how am i doing/ are they happy/ holy fuck im thirsty/ damn her ass is huge/ etc etc\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm not sure if anyone has asked this question in the community but I'm curious to know\nHow do you feel when somebody plays with your hair?",
"chosen": "I have a shaved head but I love a good head scritch\n",
"rejected": "For a small number of people in certain situations, it's nice.\n\nAs a general rule, don't fucking touch me.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm a recent grad with an entry-level engineering job doing challenging, fun work. Occasionally I work with a couple folks a few years older than me in another department. They've been more frequently asking me to do \"coffee-fetcher\" tasks. (e.g., at a conference they had me pick up lunch while they chatted with friends but I thought they were preparing for their presentation. They text me periodically asking me to bring supplies to their building when they've forgotten it, even though I have a ton of work of my own to do, etc.)\n\nDon't get me wrong though; I certainly understand that I'm low-man-on-the-totem-pole so don't mind paying my dues and doing the more trivial work. And I don't mind doing favors for coworkers occasionally. But I also don't want to be taken advantage of.\n\nHave you guys ever been in similar situations? How do you assert yourself in an entry-level job and make sure you are given challenging work without coming across entitled?\n\ntl;dr I earned an engineering degree so that I could do challenging work and not fetch coffees and act as courier when my older coworkers don't plan ahead. How do I assert myself so they don't make a habit of this?\n\n*thanks for the suggestions!\nHow do you assert yourself in an entry-level job?",
"chosen": "Talk to your boss and ask for some projects to do or what's going on in the dept that you could get a hand in. Show that you want to be there, don't just go to work and do your work if you really want to get ahead. Talk to your supervisors and tell them that you want some more tasks to do during your work day. Then if someone asks you to go run coffee and they aren't your direct supervisor or connected to him/her in some way then tell them you're busy on a project and you can't right then. Other than that you'll kind of have to suck it up and prove yourself worthy of harder/more responsibility.\n",
"rejected": "Understand that the reason they are giving you tasks of fetching coffee and shit is because you have let them.\n\n\"Sorry, am doing xxx, can't do it.\" \n\nMake up a task if you have to. Don't let yourself get suckered into doing menial tasks just because other people are too lazy.\n"
},
{
"query": "Title says it all, really.\n\nOut of all the bullets you dodged in life, what came the closest to hitting you?\nWhat terrible situation were you able to get out of at the last second?",
"chosen": "I was dangerously dehydrated in the deserts of Kazakhstan once. I didn't identify the sensation as dehydration -- I just felt fatigued and super sick -- so it didn't even occur to me to drink water.\n\nThree Kazakh dudes -- desert-dwellers who know dehydration when they see it -- wandered by, took one look at me, and started pouring water down my throat. I felt better instantly, and completely back to normal within a few minutes.\n\nI don't know what would have happened if those dudes hadn't wandered by. It could have gone very, very badly.\n",
"rejected": "When I was 16 me and two female friends walked one of our friends home from a party through a dodgy estate.\n\nWell on the way back when we are all pretty drunk some guys come from know where shouting and then pull out scalpels and start threatening us, I slowed down so the girls could speed up and when one of the guys threatened me I throw my phone at the ground and shout \"that's all I got\" \n\nTo my relief they grab it and just run off? I feel like a part of me accepted I might get stabbed so my friends could get away.\n"
},
{
"query": "Whats bothering me is that I just spent an entire semester working on a group project and busting my ass only for the project ended up being a piece of shit.\nWhat's bothering you at the moment?",
"chosen": "Body issues. I look like a skinny fat piece of shit. I have a generally good personality, and lately I've been getting a decent number of tinder matches, but I've been too ashamed to ask anybody out, online or otherwise because I don't feel attractive. Now, I know somebody is going to inevitably comment on this and say I'm probably overreacting. Trust me, I'm not. I look like Roger the alien from American Dad with bitch tits. Skinny as a twig but body fat for days. \n\nWhat trips me out is that two years ago I took up fitness and looked great. In less than three months I was getting compliment after compliment, but anxiety and depression made me throw all that progress away and now here I am. Ive been getting in the gym lately, trying to reclaim whatever shred of confidence I once had. I just feel like if I'm not happy with myself I'll never be happy with anyone else. And the longer the progress takes, the lonlier I feel.\n",
"rejected": "That the last academic obligation standing between me and graduation is an English Honors Symposium in which I have to present a thesis I've been working on for a year in 3 minutes. It just makes me not want to do it at all. Well, I mean, I just don't want to do it at all in the first place, really. \n\nOh, that and actually going to the commencement ceremony. I don't wannnaaaaa.\n"
},
{
"query": "Inspired by that Ryan Reynolds thread.\n\nWhether it be because of their looks, how they act, or their personality, what celebrity do you not understand the popularity of?\nWhat (heavily liked) celebrity just doesn't do it for you?",
"chosen": "Harry Styles.\n",
"rejected": "Kim Kardashian - just blows my mind how popular she is.\n"
},
{
"query": "hey guys. I'm 26 and my little brother is 24. He has been dating the same girl since they were 14. This girl just went on vacation with our family in july, she lives in my parents rent house, our whole family loves her. my brothers birthday was 3 days ago and she went all out searching for gifts he would love.\n\nBrother just called me (2 am here) so upset because he found out she has been texting his best friend from high school (a guy obviously) and sending him \"seductive\" pics as he phrased it. My question is how can I help him? what does he need to hear from me right now? Brother and I have a really great relationship and obviously I love him so much and I'd do anything for him. I'm really worried because he has sort of been isolating himself the past few years and his gf is one of his only friends. How can I encourage him and be there for him right now?? We live in separate towns about 2 hours away.\napologize in advance for grammar/etc. its the middle of the night and I'm upset that I can't help.\nhow can i help my little brother",
"chosen": "thanks askmen. this is my first time posting here and you guys did not disappoint\n",
"rejected": "Get em drunk and bad mouth the broad.\n"
},
{
"query": "Hey gents,\n\nThanks for sorting by \"new.\" My best friend, a 32yr old straight male, broke up with his long-term (5 year) girlfriend after she had an affair with another one of his \"friends.\" Recently, he's decided he's mentally and emotionally ready to get back into the dating game and we've decided to start hitting bars with pretty ladies and spit some game. He's very attractive, has a good job and is generally a good catch, so back in the day, he never had challenges, but he's concerned it may be harder to date after 30. \n\nI don't think it's particularly important, but I'm a gay dude, and it has made me pretty effective in this capacity in the past (don't fear women, masculine presenting, open minded enough to jump on a grenade if absolutely necessary, excellent track record on getting results for other straight friends, etc.) That said, it's been a minute since I've played wingman since I've been in a LTR myself (and yes, my SO is cool with this). I wanted to crowdsource additional wisdom so I can be as effective as possible. In your experience, what makes a good wingman?\nWhat makes a good wingman?",
"chosen": "Be the Scottie Pippen to his Jordan. He’s going to need to put the ball in the hoop, but you need to defend their best player and grab rebounds.\n",
"rejected": "Someone who can help him keep conversation going, especially if a girl he's interested is with a small group of friends. Someone who helps him present himself as a normal, decent person and not a caricature of something. You don't need to be the guy who \"falls on the grenade\" or whatever the phrase is. Keep the conversation going with the group and if that allows him to talk one-on-one with the girl he's interested in, perfect.\n\nDon't be his hype man, if he clams up even with you there, that's his problem. I had a friend that I could borderline just *bring* cute girls to, and he would clam up and then get all sour grapes with me. Side note, he was also the worst wingman I ever had, because he would interrupt with dumb jokes instead of letting me talk. One time I told a girl what my hobbies were after she asked, and before she could respond, my buddy goes, \"that's really fratty.\" How is that going to help me with any girl over the age of 19 and not at an SEC school tailgate?\n"
},
{
"query": "Wet BBQ, or Dry BBQ? There's one answer. \n\nAnd what's your ideal BBQ spread?\nIn honor of July 4th AskMen, it's time for the important questions. How do you like your BBQ?",
"chosen": "One answer?!?! You know they give the death penalty for treason, right?\n",
"rejected": "Well done with a side of ketchup.\n"
},
{
"query": "In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.\n\nI know it’s just a stereotype that men constantly want sex and women always turn it down. However, am I doing something wrong?\n\nI’m fine with a 2-3 times a week. We have needs.\nMen, how often do you want to have sex?",
"chosen": "maybe 1 once a month if they want to\n",
"rejected": "*In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.*\n\n*However, am I doing something wrong?*\n\nAre you initiating the sex, or are you just waiting for him to take the lead and when he doesn't you assume he doesn't want to have sex? It's quite possible he did want more sex but thought you didn't, so he didn't bother trying.\n\nLikewise, guys will sometimes avoid it if they're stressed, not feeling great, etc. Not necessarily because they don't want it, but because they're worried they won't be able to perform and it'll be very embarrassing.\n"
}
] | 12
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00023174285888671875,
"logprob2": -8,
"signal": 7.999768257141113
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000016689300537109375,
"logprob2": -4.5,
"signal": 4.499998331069946
}
| -3.49977
| 2
|
5841
|
[
{
"query": "I just had a moment where exactly this happened to me. I figured I'd ask if anyone has stories along the lines.\nRemember when you first rode a bike without training wheels? Remember that feeling of, \"I can do this on my own\"? Have you ever felt that feeling again in something else you were doing in life?",
"chosen": "I learned how to water ski about three years ago. The first time I was able to get up out of the water on my own I experienced that feeling you're describing. That same feeling happened 2 years ago when I learned how to surf. My first time getting up on the board and riding that wave in was like \"Yeah! I can totally do this all by myself!\" It is such a great feeling, isn't it?!?\n",
"rejected": "Riding a bike is a good example because there was a sense of danger and \"I could get fucked up\". I don't really relate when people compare that to do doing laundry and lame things because that was a different feeling. The closest example of having the bike feeling was when I flew a plane for the first time by myself because that def had the factor of if I mess up I will get fucked up.\n"
},
{
"query": "Mostly I’m thinking in regards to romance books but it could be in anything fiction related. We see a lot of criticism of how poorly men write women but how do women write men in ways that are wrong or awkward? How could it be improved?\n\nETA that I’m reading every comment and absorbing what everyone is saying! Thanks for the replies so far!\nWhat is something women who write male characters get wrong?",
"chosen": "Hypersexuality. No, I do not want to put my penis in everything that moves just because I'm a guy.\n",
"rejected": "The writing is so odd. The man is the idiot. Does not know what he lost. Then back together. \n\nHappy ever after. \n\nNo struggles. \n\nThis writing style is so alternative universe its not funny.\n"
},
{
"query": "I've seen many comments from users here stating they enjoy the smell of a woman's vagina - assuming it's of course clean and free of any foul smells.\n\nAs a straight woman , it smells completely different to me but partners have insisted it has its own arousing scent that perhaps only they can smell.\n\nWhat about this smell is attractive to you? And how would you describe it ?\nMen that enjoy the smell of a womans lady parts, why ?",
"chosen": "I think it’s nature and the way you are wired (sexual orientation) because from the very first time the scent was already something amazing. Yes, my brain associates it with a certainty of very pleasurable moments to come, so that plays into it, but the first time I didn’t have memories to fuel that. The memories do reinforce it though; which is cool. \n\nAlso, I think our brains are keeping us safe. My guess is that your question, OP, is inspired by the recent post that revealed that “we’re happy you’re naked and want to have sex with us, the deal breaker is highly unlikely to be what you look like naked, but more so how things smell down there.” And you know what, it makes sense because unclean people are more prone to infections and diseases. I think our brain is sending us signals that we have found a worthy mate or to nope the fuck out to protect ourselves. \n\nMaybe compatibility too since there is a range, for some reason, of who has smelled more like “home” sorta speak. \n\nOh, and to any of you ladies out there being self-conscious about whatever, you should know that we are just so fucking thrilled to be fucking, we are looking for all the reasons to make sure this happens, not reasons to stop. You are giving us too much credit for selectiveness once the stakes have been raised to that degree. We’re too busy basking in the evolutionary bliss of being selected to mate. Now you know, the discerning bit at that point has more to do with scent, so, happy good hygiene.\n",
"rejected": "Dont you kinda like how a clean penis smells like?\n"
},
{
"query": "I once had a girl in college lay her head in my lap (I didn't know her that well, thought she was just touchy-feely, you know) and one of my dormmates was later like \"dude, did you get her number?\" I say no, he laughs at me. How about you guys?\nWhat is your worst/best \"oh shit she was hitting on me\" story?",
"chosen": "A girl flashed her ass ay me in an empty gym. She was wearing a knee length dress and stretched her arms way up over her head until the hem of it was almost around her waist. I was about halfway across the gym floor at the time, I was walking up to her anyway since we had been friends for a while then. When I got to her I said \"You might not want to stretch like that again because your whole butt hangs when you do.\" She hit me in the chest and said \"What were you looking for?\" and kind of walked off. We were always teasing and flirty with each other so I wasn't sure if she was mad I was looking or what. I had been interested in her since I had known her but due to her being a girl who slept around for attention I was going really slow with her. I didn't catch it as a sign, at the time I didn't realize it was probably intentional I just thought I was helping a friend not embarrass herself.\n",
"rejected": "Reading this thread has A) made me feel a little better about the times I've flirted with guys and seemingly got blown off and B) taught me that being forward is a good thing and that I should try it more often. \n\nThanks boys!\n"
}
] | 1
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000012159347534179688,
"logprob2": -4.75,
"signal": 4.749987840652466
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000016689300537109375,
"logprob2": -4.5,
"signal": 4.499998331069946
}
| -0.24999
| 2
|
5898
|
[
{
"query": "All I have so far is dinner... I have some other ideas but I want to here some of your suggestions\nMen I have a date tomorrow with the girl of my dreams! Where should we go? What should we do? I'm so excited! what are some of your favorite things to do on a date?",
"chosen": "Ok, from reading your comments, here are a few possible dos and donts:\n\n* DO make it some place you can talk and have some physical contact while not making it creepy. e.g. Ice Skating, dinner.\n\n* DO make it something where you'll have fun too. A date can go sour fast if you're not also enjoying yourself.\n\n* DO dress to the occasion. I'm not talking full on suit, but understand where you're going and dress for it (e.g. nice but not too nice for dinner, warm for skating, etc...)\n\n* DONT try to force things. If she said yes to this date after that long of knowing you, she's at least willing to give it a shot or likes you as well. But that doesn't mean that you try to force romance or sex if the vibes aren't good.\n\n* DONT break your bank. It's fine spending cash on a date, but you don't want to bankrupt yourself doing it.\n\n* DONT do the movies. It's a bad first date because you two dont get to talk or interact. Maybe for a later date, but by then you can also suggest she should come over to your place for a movie.\n\nNow that that's over, here are some ideas:\n\n* Ice Skating\n\n* Local events (there should be something going on, just do a quick google search)\n\n* Dinner (If you've known her four years, you might have an inside track and know her favorite food).\n\n* Grab coffee and take a walk through a park if there's one that's been lit up for the holidays.\n\n* Museums\n\n* Bowling\n",
"rejected": "What is the weather like where you are? How well do you know each other? Those two things would affect my suggestions.\n"
},
{
"query": "As a woman, there are so many expectations that I face in our society. I fit in the mold sometimes, but a lot of times I don't. \n\nI'm curious which gender roles men find ridiculous. I feel like in this day and age, many men are getting more and more comfortable stepping outside these \"expected\" roles and I'd love to hear guys' perspectives on this.\n\n(You can think that a gender role is ridiculous, yet still fit into the expected role anyway, for example, you may think it's ridiculous that men are not \"supposed to\" cry, yet you may never cry yourself).\n\nFeel free to write about your views on female gender roles as well as male! There is plenty of ridiculousness surrounding both genders.\nWhat is an expected gender norm/role in our society that you think is completely ridiculous? Does it apply to you?",
"chosen": "That women are supposed to be protected and men are supposed to be protectors.\n\nI don't like meakness. In myself or others. I see men who like their women to seem kind of weak or meak, because they enjoy the idea of being their protector or something. I think that's just bad. I see women who want to feel protected and taken care of. I think that's just bad.\n",
"rejected": "The expectation that you should let women go first at things because they're women is pretty ridiculous.\n"
},
{
"query": "I was reading another thread about mistaking friendliness for flirting and that got me thinking about this.\nWhat is your \"just being friendly\" behavior? Something you do with people that you are just being friendly with but NEVER with someone that you are romantically/sexually interested in?",
"chosen": "Around friends, I'm eloquent, witty, and on point. Around someone I'm interested in, my brain turns to sludge and I'm a stammering, blubbering mess.\n",
"rejected": "If I was interested in a girl I wouldn't invite her to a group gathering early on - just solo stuff. Wouldn't want to risk her falling for one of my friends.\n"
},
{
"query": "Just kind of a conversation starter. I'm talking like hobbies, interests, partner preferences, sexual interests, etc.\nWhat's something seemingly every other man likes that you have no interest in?",
"chosen": "Getting head. Idk man I just don't give a fuck about it. I've known so many guys who love getting top and I just don't care about it. Like yeah it feels kind of good but it's just so weird to me. Vagina beats mouth every time.\n",
"rejected": "Casual sex. I never understood it. Only ever had sexual relations within exclusive relationships.\n"
},
{
"query": "It's a weird question, but just want to see if there was anyone in the same position as me.\n\nI work for a small IT company which only have married men employed. They are all 10 years older then me and it's hard to relate to them being the youngest and single one in the group. We never really go out for drinks after work and they're not in a position to be my wingman or help me out.\n\nMy friends which I hang out with are all male and single, but are social awkward mingling with women and dating. We do go to bars and club, but don't really mingle.\n\nI'm trying to get out of this circle and start mingling more with women more. It doesn't have to be just about dating, I'm just bored hanging around with men. I just want a more balance social circle.\n\nFor social, I've tried the website Meet up which helps me find social groups around my area, but it's tough keeping to contact with people who don't go all the time. I go to the gym, but I don't know how to start making conversation without thinking I'm flirting.\n\nFor dating I've tried multiple dating websites, but I'm getting cat fished. When me and my friends go out I do try talking to girls and getting numbers, but we don't keep contact for long. \n\nSo if you have any advice and experiences I'll be grateful.\nMen working in a male based office and only had male friends. How did you start mingling with the opposite sex?",
"chosen": "On group bike rides. Mixed doubles tennis leagues. Through friends. I met my wife at a geek meetup. Waiting in line for coffee.\n\nBeing witty and not creepy it's the key.\n",
"rejected": "The best thing I give advice on?\n\nFind a dancing class. Learn to dance.\n\nCouple different reasons, but - Dancing puts you in close proximity with a lot of different women, so you get used to contact in a non-sexual way ( often an issue )\n\nBe friendly and make friends with people. Dont go out looking for a date, just meet people. Be a decent guy and either one of them will be attracted to you, or they will introduce you to someone.\n"
},
{
"query": "I like having a bit of variation every now and then, but now I'm tired of the \"theme\" I have going on on my phone and I like having something unique-ish to always know that it's my phone that is ringing.\nWhat's your current ring tone/message tone?",
"chosen": "Under the Knife by Rise Against. The starting riff gets me everytime.\n",
"rejected": "Currently the iphone default ringtone. Normally I set it to -- bear with me, this may seem odd -- the sound of a phone ringing.\n\nNone of the built-in free tones on my current phone presented this sound (first time this has happened to me), so I kept the default.\n"
},
{
"query": "So I’ve never been super concerned with my appearance. Decided it’s something I should start putting some effort into and face is a good place. My skin isn’t bad, but it’s got a few blemishes, some noticeable pores, etc. I’ve seen posts on Reddit talking about using moisturizer and exfoliating your face, but I don’t really know what that all means.\nAs a guy what are some basic skincare techniques I should know",
"chosen": "Mid 40's male. My skin has never been better. \n\nRoutine:\n\nAM: cold shower. Use Cerave foaming facial cleanser. Following with CeraVe am lotion spf30. \n\nPM: wash face with CeraVe foaming facial cleanser. Wait 20 mins then use Paula's choice BHA (exfoliating) them CeraVe PM lotion. \n\nDrink water, swap pillowcases and towels often.\n\nThanks r/skincareaddiction. \n\nNo blemishes and even skin tone. Just visited family and received crazy compliments with aunt's asking me what I'm doing. \n\nShaving fix: wash face in hot shower with CeraVe. Use Taylor of bond street shaving cream with badger brush. Straight or double edge razer shave with proper technique (multiple easy passes, with the grain then against the grain). 3-4 passes usually. Final rinse with cold water. Wait till dry then splash with alcohol free witch hanzel. Wait till dry then use a light coat of CeraVe am lotion. Apply again in mid day focusing on dry areas. \n\nThis is the best my skin has ever been. \n\nYMMV and you should experiment and find what works for your skin.\n",
"rejected": "covering your legs in mud will prevent mosquitos biting them.\n"
},
{
"query": "A type of man many women are attracted to is one who is perceptive of the ways others work. Someone who is aware, and verbalizes their observations in a way where you feel a special oh-how-flattering-they-noticed-that-about-me feeling. In addition, some of these men are not likely to give into a lifestyle just because many around them do or they receive pressure to.\n\nTo these men, I ask: Do you think the general expectations society has regarding career, relationships, etc. \"cramp your style?\" How so? If so, how do you deal with it?\nWhat lifestyle preferences do you wish you could fully embrace but, because of outside pressures/expectations, feel unable to?",
"chosen": "I miss dumpster diving. That's pretty much it.\n",
"rejected": "I think becoming a vegetarian is the right thing to do. I want to live in a world with less unnecessary suffering. I don't want to continue to support an industry that thrives on living things with feelings that live terrifying, painful, short, lonely, miserable existences just to be chopped up and served on a plate. But, I really love eating meat, and I would miss it all the time if I gave it up. The positive effect of just me not eating meat is so negligible in comparison to the pleasure I would miss out on by giving up steak, bacon, eggs, etc.\n"
},
{
"query": "Say you're in your early 20's and you've been with your girlfriend for 6 months. She's pretty great and things are going well. There's definitely a connection there. Sex is good and often. You're not sure if you see a future quite yet, but that's more because you're not really thinking about settling down anytime soon than anything to do with her specifically.\n\nBut now you meet another girl who is interested in you. There's also a connection there, but this girl is more attractive than your girlfriend (it's not that your girlfriend isn't attractive, just that this girl is more).\n\nThere's nothing wrong with your current relationship - that is to say, if it weren't for having a lucrative option available, you would happily continue it.\n\nIs it wrong to leave your girlfriend for the other girl? If so, why?\n\n(By the way, I realize that the initial reaction to this question is probably \"of course it's wrong to leave her\". But I'm more approaching this from the angle of \"do you owe it to her to stay\" vs \"do you owe it to yourself to pair up with the best possible partner\")\nWhat are the arguments against leaving your girlfriend for someone who is more attractive?",
"chosen": "\"There's nothing exactly *wrong* with our relationship, I'm just pretty shallow and I saw a chick that's hotter.\"\n\nI don't know what you were expecting from asking this question, this is like standard fuckboy behavior.\n",
"rejected": "Literally everything except \"the new girl is more attractive\"\n\nMore seriously, I'm assuming you have an emotional connection to your current SO; that's why you're dating. What guarantee do you have that you'll have a better or even similar connection with this new girl? What if you break up and go for this girl, and then you find out that she actually kind of sucks?\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm Indian and I go to a mostly all white university. \n\nI never get approached by guys. It's never worked out for me when I've approached other guys. I've only had one boyfriend so far and I'm 23. \n\nI used to think it was because I was hideous, but I don't think I am. People always tell me that I'm breathtakingly beautiful. Complete strangers will stop me in public to tell me that. \n\nI'm not abnormally weird or boring. I'm pretty normal, friendly and optimistic. I don't know what it is at this point, other than I'm Indian. \n\nMost Indian guys I know prefer white girls (their words not mine). Does this apply to a lot of other races as well?\nSerious question, if you guys had to pick a race to date, would you be more likely to say white?",
"chosen": "Yes.\n\nBut your question is looking for an excuse not to be attractive. Men want attractive women; we don't give a fuck what race you are. One of my dream women is Egyptian.\n",
"rejected": "No, to be honest they're on the bottom of the list. Latinas are always top.\n"
},
{
"query": "I used to sleep naked, until my cat licked my nipple in the middle of a dream. I though my nipple was on fire but it turns out my cat thought it was cute to give me a cleaning... Imagine taking sandpaper to your nipple...\nReddit men, whats the most strange / weird sensation you've had?",
"chosen": "Having packing removed from my nose after being packed for a week. \n\nIt felt like I had a gym sock up there and when they removed it it was like….so clear. Wind funnel straight through. Amazing.\n",
"rejected": "It's good that you took your concerns to your doctor.\n\nNo, not easy to talk about, but that shows how important it is to do just that.\n\nYour friends sound like an awesome support network, you will need that.\n\nIs it a complete orchiectomy you are facing? Mine was just the left one, which was my favourite.\n"
},
{
"query": "What I mean is in the extreme case, there are only 24 hours in a day, so why would you waste the non-work/non-sleep stuff on something that isn't building a skill/making yourself better? \"Whenever you're not practising, somebody else is. And when you two meet he will be better than you.\" \n\nNow I imagine the guy meant frivolous stuff like watching netflix, playing video games (which are fun and entertaining, but not so practical unless you plan to be a pro gamer), watching tv. Which are a waste of time if you place it in the hierarchy of using that leisure time instead to start a business, write a book/blog, exercise, build a thing, etc - stuff to generate side income and/or doing dope shit.\n\nThoughts?\nI've heard it said that your leisure time should never be spent at leisure. Thoughts?",
"chosen": "/u/Alooc posted this a while ago and I've saved it because it's so true. I'm just copying and pasting his post.\n\nDoing nothing is the wrong concept. You never do nothing, because even when your body is still your mind is churning and processing information.\n\nI have a strong dislike against \"wasting time.\" I don't like myself when I spend time on nonsense. And so I fill all of my day with \"constructive things.\" My walk to work is filled with podcasts, the time waiting for the food to bake filled with news articles. While eating I entertain myself with shows or Ted talks or whatnot.\n\nThe best decision I made in the last weeks was to stop most of that.\n\nAristotle recommended to take walks - especially while discussing with another person. And now, walking to work with just my mind and the scenery and passing people as company I feel more relaxed. I feel serene. I learn to understand myself better, just the way a meditation clears my mind.\n\nI mentally plan my evening or reflect on the day - conflicts with the boss, troubles, things I achieved, things I learned. I finally notice the food I'm eating.\n\nThe list goes on. I'm not going to stop consuming information and I'm not going to stop using podcasts on some long walks - but I live more consciously, more aware, more relaxed. It's small changes and suddenly I'm happier and can handle stress better.\n\nI think we all tend to drown our minds - emotions, thoughts, worries, little wins, conversations we had or want to have and much more - we drown all of it in manufactured emotions (reddit, games, tv, ...) and interesting, and valuable, but ultimately unnecessary information.\n\nWhen you say \"doing nothing\" you confuse something. You are doing things all the time, your brain never takes a break. But when you \"do nothing\" you finally allow your brain to breathe and process all the things it needs and wants to process. I think all these modern diseases - sleeping problems, stress, depression, distractability, even obesity,... - they have a lot to do with the fact that we don't\n",
"rejected": "Sounds like a fast track to getting burnt out.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm going a little crazier each time I go through the motions of *\"How are you?\" \"Good, you?\" \"Good\"*. Its vapid and meaningless interaction that serves nothing.\n\nWhat are your ways of breaking past the small talk zone and being friendly without getting into a drawn out conversation?\nWhat are Good questions to ask people to avoid small talk at the workplace?",
"chosen": "What does your bath towel smell like ? How many pairs of socks do you have in your car ? Do you think horses hate pandas ? \n\nLet us know how it works out I don't like small talk either\n",
"rejected": "why? Doesn't sound like you have an interest in getting to know them. Why not just carry on with the same? \n \nNot trying to be antagonistic.\n"
},
{
"query": "as a female the concept of balls perplex me. aren't they constantly in the way when wanting to sit on any seat?\nhow often do you sit on your balls?",
"chosen": "Sit on them? Almost never. But Lordy is there a lot of adjusting.\n",
"rejected": "Few times a day. Always had that issue and it's getting worse as I get older.\n\nI always wondered why it is that a lot of guys kind of pull their pants up before they sit down. Now that I'm older, I understand. It's usually older men and they're doing it to inconspicuously get the boys out of the way.\n"
}
] | 7
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000667572021484375,
"logprob2": -5.75,
"signal": 5.749933242797852
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000010967254638671875,
"logprob2": -6.75,
"signal": 6.749989032745361
}
| 1.000056
| 6
|
127053
|
[
{
"query": "They aren't that difficult to make, and there are plenty of tools out there to make them with, so why aren't more women making them? Is it the market? The industry itself? The difficulty that would come from trying to get press for such games?\n\nThis is an honest question, by the way. I mean absolutely no offense. If you check this account's history, we're actually a game studio ourselves, and this question came up as part of an inter-studio discussion over the 4th of July.\nWhy are there so few visual novels geared towards women?",
"chosen": "Oh man, is that a great question we should be asking! As far as I can tell (and I mean really my experiences aren't even close to being normal) all my male friends hate the idea of having to sit and read a story. They're opposed to the idea of visual novels in general. It's kind of sad, since these games have some hilarious plot points!\n\nIf I may, people ought to check out [Analogue: A Hate Story](store.steampowered.com/app/209370/Analogue_A_Hate_Story/) and [Hate Plus](store.steampowered.com/app/239700/Hate_Plus/)! They're pretty text heavy and there are very little action scenes to speak of. The main point of the games is to play detective and read logs left behind by the inhabitants of the Mugunghwa, a space vessel that had been operating for centuries before, well, the plot.\n",
"rejected": "I'm not sure about the percentage of female-geared versus male-geared visual novels out there, since with a few exceptions that's a medium that's not as visible as most.\n\nBut from my limited perception I get the impression that some of the female-leaning titles go in crazier and more interesting directions, if you take into account the likes of Hatoful Boyfriend, or that one where the guys are human-shaped embodiments of curry...\n"
},
{
"query": "I've had bright blue hair for the past 6 months (and for a while had a mohawk), which basically guaranteed that I looked visually interesting and somewhat eccentric. However, I just dyed it brown again, and don't naturally look crazy anymore! I like to dress a little crazy and like people staring at me on the street, which is a bit weird, but that's just me.\n\nI've not had to dress to look interesting for a long time, so I've forgotten what I used to do! I'm okay with days wearing t-shirts and jeans and not looking crazy, but I just want to look very visually interesting.\n\nWhile I do have some interesting items of clothing (a bright purple Hawaiian shirt that's almost blindingly neon), I want to know how to make the more ordinary parts of my wardrobe interesting. I hope someone can help!\nHow to look more eccentric",
"chosen": "For me eccentricity is best shown through individuality - have you tried doing some diy upcycling? Stuff like tie-dye, studs etc could provide you some variation!\n",
"rejected": "My favorite eccentric look in terms of clothes is layering several long, loose/bulky items. So like wide-leg pants + oversized t-shirt tunic + maxi cardigan. Or a floor-length circle skirt (something with volume) plus a tank and a big textured coat/vest/etc. I'd play with crazy textures and unusual silhouettes.\n"
},
{
"query": "Is there a specific item you're looking for and can't find? Want to help fellow FFAers in their search for x? This is the thread to do it in!\n\nIf you're asking for help, please also try and answer others' requests! This only works if we all help out.\nFind Fashion Friday - January 18, 2019",
"chosen": "I'm looking for long torso-d swimsuits that I can purchase online and ship to canada.\n\nOr really cute extremely modest tankini options. Think dress style + shorts. Budget is $50 or less.\n",
"rejected": "I want ridiculously high waisted pants. I can't find any high enough for what I want. I can't find any pants in higher than 10 inch rise, and I'd like something more like a 12 inch rise. I'd prefer to stick around the $100 or less range and ideally they wouldn't be light wash :)\n"
},
{
"query": "The far right has been launching an war on trans people and gender affirming care providers and I'm afraid that within a few years or less than a year, it will no longer be legal for me to access hrt. If the right doesn't ban hrt via legislature, they will at least try to intimidate doctors away from prescribing it via violent threats and intimidate pharmacies away from distributing it. And I don't want to go back to the way I was before, hrt has done so much for my happiness and confidence. But now it's going to be taken away from me again. And it causes me a ton of anxiety and sadness not knowing if I'll be forced to detransition someday soon\nI feel riddled with fear about whether hrt will be illegal within the near future, how can I deal with this?",
"chosen": "Remember, blue states are already passing \"safe haven\" laws for trans youth in red states to receive HRT there. Like many social issues, it's hot button for the red/blue divide. The harder the GOP cracks down, the harder the Dems are going to push for trans rights. So something as severe as banning HRT would have to happen in Congress, and it's not a popular decision nationally, so it's unlikely to pass (republicans in swing districts are generally unwilling to come down harsh on cultural issues).\n\nThe same goes for intimidation. Doctors in New York, California, Massachusetts, etc., face more celebration than intimidation. So really, the solution is to move to a metropolitan area in a blue state. \n\nThis all goes out the window if there is a right wing coup and the US becomes an authoritarian minority rule. So we gotta fight to make sure that doesn't happen. But that's a \"red button\" scenario.\n",
"rejected": "Keep in mind that even if, *somehow*, this happened federally… the blue states would never *ever* enforce it. And look how well they’re doing not enforcing marijuana laws. Seriously, convincing states to police something they don’t want to police is an exercise in either futility or political suicide. \n\nYes, if you’re in a red state you should plan to get out especially if republicans win in 24. But a blue state in the US is the best place to be trans in the world, not even kidding, and it probably will stay that way.\n"
},
{
"query": "So I recently finished Horizon Zero Dawn (on PC), and I can't play Forbidden West because I don't have a PS4/5. It was the most breathtaking world, and I fell in love with it time and time again every time I opened the game to continue playing. I loved that all of the bosses you had to fight were either humans or robots. Not terrifying mythical creatures.\n\nThat being said, does anyone know any RPG/open world games that are similar to HZD that do not have horror/creepy/terrifying monsters or so much blood you fell like you're drowning in it? All of the games I seem to find that are considered \"similar\" include monsters or demons or tons of gore or something in the game trailer that I *know* will give me nightmares if I decide to play them. I have looked at games like Witcher 3, Skyrim/Elder Scrolls, New World, A Plague Tale, Valheim, God of War, etc. I don't mind fantasy, but all of the fantasy games I look at contain creatures and beasts so terrifying I don't want to waste my money.\nNon-creepy RPG/Open World games that won't give me nightmares?",
"chosen": "Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild - open world where an amnesiac Link (who you can’t name) must get strong enough to defeat Calamity Gannon who is being held at bay by Zelda.\n\nImmortals Fenyx Rising - like BotW, but with Greek mythology. And a lot of sarcasm. While it is definitely inspired by BotW, it takes the concepts and expands on them in its own way. Has a demo, although this demo does not take place in the game, but rather, they made an area specific to the demo to show you the combat and a few collectibles.\n",
"rejected": "Spider-Man, Rdr2? There are supernatural Easter eggs in red dead redemption 2 and shooting things but you can avoid the former.\n"
},
{
"query": "Hey guys. I just wanted to thank you all for being such a great community.\n\nI consider myself a newcomer to a lot of geek culture, but have been gaming casually since I was a kid. As such, stepping foot into a culture with so many established and complicated universes can be really overwhelming, and there's a lot I don't know and have yet to learn and discover. Like, there's a *lot* of content out there for newcomers! \n\nI've started to try out reading comic books and am loving it so far. And I've started to expand my gaming horizons as well. There are also a lot of TV series, anime, manga, and movies I want to watch/read, and its honestly very overwhelming sometimes. And the whole backlash against \"fake geek girls\" and the far too common opinion that geek girls are somehow being disingenuous really gets to me sometimes, and discourages me from pursuing it further or discussing it for fear of being though of as fake. Elitism just straight up sucks in any form, ya know?\n\n Before discovering this sub I had no idea that so many people find this concept to be total BS. It's nice to finally find a place free elitism and distrust towards newcomers to this culture, and you guys have really helped me to start feeling comfortable with these new/growing interests. So, thank you guys so much, you're all awesome. :)\n\nHappy gaming!\nI just wanted to thank this sub for it's positive and welcoming attitude.",
"chosen": "What're you reading in comics?\n",
"rejected": "If you like both anime and games, I can recommend watching **Sword Art Online**. The main character is male, but there is also a strong female character in the lead. Without spoiling too much, they basically get \"trapped\" in a VR-MMORPG with no way out but beating the last boss.\n\nI don't know if I should recommend you to only watch the first 14 episodes or finish the whole thing, because you might get disappointed in the second half. Just keep that in mind and it's still worth watching, imo. With Season 2, it gets slightly better again, but I really wish they had continued like the beginning of S1.\n\nThe anime is not that great in terms of plot and character development, but it's pretty fun to watch if you like games. Having a game like SAO is the dream of many gamers (excluding the death part), so it's interesting to watch because it's a cool concept.\n"
},
{
"query": "Just finished Herizon Zero Dawn, so incredible!\n\nLooking for something to take its place!\nFavorite story heavy game?",
"chosen": "Dishonored! My favourite game ever for the story, dishonored 2 has a less fun story I think but the game is much more shiny and polished\n",
"rejected": "I came here to say Horizon Zero Dawn!!\n"
},
{
"query": "**Simple Questions Thread will be posted every Thursday mornings (pacific time)!**\n\n---\n\nThis thread is for simple style questions that you may have, especially those that don't warrant their own thread.\nWe all want a diversified opinion, so feel free to answer any questions (of which you know the answer).\n\nExample questions: What are your favorite black boots <$250? What should I wear on a date? Are there any good white t-shirts?\nSimple Questions Thread - May 30th",
"chosen": "my two main things left to buy for my europe trip are a long-sleeved shirt and a sweater/hoodie. everywhere online says \"don't use cotton, use synthetics!\" but doesn't go into more detail. is polyester okay for travelling?\n\nall i can find right now is cotton, probably thanks to the time of year.\n",
"rejected": "So I've got 2 pairs of old, slightly too big (they sit nice and slouchily on my hips), faded, boot-cut jeans. I'm going to turn them into shorts, one with like a 2\" inseam, and one in a longer length. \n\nShould I sew the bottom of the shorter ones, or just let them unravel, beach-style? I'd probably wear them on low key lake house weekends.\n\nIf I cut the others and cuff them so they're like 3-4 inches above my knee, could a pass them as bermuda shorts and not be hideously unfashionable? I might actually try to \"style\" these.\n"
},
{
"query": "With so many new games being released this year, there's bound to be a game for everyone. Which ones are you most excited to get your hands on?\nWhich 2019 game(s) are you most excited to play?",
"chosen": "Tales of the gaaaaaaaaaaay [er, Vesperia. Tales of Vesperia]\n\nAnd KH3 when I EVENTUALLY get to it [doing a timeline playthrough of the entire series leading into 3]\n\naka I think January set me up for the rest of the year lol\n",
"rejected": "Might manage to nab Anthem by xmas. Bonus DMC5 hype.\n"
},
{
"query": "***Me:*** I'm 5'2\", about 120 pounds, size 4 or size small, 30D bra, size 7 shoe. I *prefer* online shopping, only because I am very busy and usually don't have the time for a shopping trip!\n\nI just got my first fancy office job in a male-dominated office. There is one other woman who works there, she primarily wears cardigans and dress pants. She tends to dress in neutral tones and wear no-makeup makeup, and I want to try to follow in her lead to assure I'll be taken seriously in this office.\n\n***My style:*** I love neutrals and jewel tones, and very feminine & vintage inspired clothing. I love how I look in fit & flare dresses. \n\nI own 2 blazers (one black, one pale tan/pink) and 1 pair of tan \"dress pants\". Other than that, I have a lot of sundresses I've been pairing with blazers/cardigans for the time-being. But I would LOVE to have some true professional clothing.\n\n***My budget:*** I'd like to spend as little as possible and have a variety of outfits I can play with & mix and match. My budget is probably around **$300**, tops. I'm hoping to find comfortable and durable flats, work pants, work shirts, and work dresses/skirts. \n\n**Any advice is welcome! Thank you FFA!**\n21 year old female at her first office job - I need professional clothes on a budget!",
"chosen": "I buy collared button down, or embellished tank tops and wear a cardigan over them. I have identical measurements to you... my favorite fitting dress pants are The Limited Drew fit and everything from the Loft! I buy a lot of tops at Target or at a consignment store nearby.\n",
"rejected": "Target has some cute ankle pants/slacks right now for about ~$30. If you're looking for more formal, I really like the Banana Republic Sloan pants. They retail for $90 but I've always waited for a 40% sale and then buy them. I generally wear black, navy or grey pants with assorted tops from NY&Co, Loft, Gap and Target. Always wait for sales!\n"
},
{
"query": "In this generation lot of trans folks don't like being called transsexual and just wondering if it's still offensive to you\nDoes the word \"Transsexual\" offends you??",
"chosen": "I think it's necessary to keep as a medical term because the word transgender is considered an umbrella term and someone can be transgender but also not medically transition so there needs to be a word for binary trans people who medically transition.\n",
"rejected": "Not a bit. I own all my labels and I define them. I give that Right to no one. I am affectionately know to my friends as 'The Good Tranny of the North'. I love it, I embrace it and I own it. I choose. \n\nWe were all known as 'Transsexuals' when I came out. That was our label. How it became a slur is beyond me. I don't see it as one, it's just us and we are awesome. I know how much courage it takes to do what we are doing. To fly in the face of society and just change. The World should fear such bravery, and does. I'm proud to be a 'Transsexual' or whatever else you might want to call me. I know what it takes, they don't. I just smile. Grow some skin kids.\n"
}
] | 5
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000008344650268554688,
"logprob2": -4.375,
"signal": 4.3749916553497314
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000016689300537109375,
"logprob2": -4.5,
"signal": 4.499998331069946
}
| 0.125007
| 5
|
4815
|
[
{
"query": "All the underwear I can find has a seam right up the center which flosses my balls and is regularly a source of discomfort\nGuys with saggy sacks like me, what underwear doesn't constantly give moose knuckles?",
"chosen": "Shinesty ball hammock underwear. Wife got me 4 pairs, 2 months later she was pregnant. Not sure how it correlates but its the truth.\n",
"rejected": "Balls down one leg, shaft down the other seems to work for me.\n"
},
{
"query": "I see comments and posts about how much men value and appreciate affection and how the smallest compliments can make his day. I have a few guys friends in my life who I have absolutely no interest in, but I want to show them I care and their friendship means the world to me. I’m a girl in college and I struggle with being friendly to guys and not leading them on or making it weird. Some guys aren’t used to it I guess. When I read about how much guys bottle it up it breaks my heart.\nHow can you show love for a male friend in a non-romantic way that shows you care but doesn’t lead him on?",
"chosen": "A simple hug should do it.\n\nI had a female friend way back in high school that would give me hugs on a daily basis.\n\nIt was all platonic and she had a boyfriend that was cool with with it.\n",
"rejected": "Try telling them that they're good dudes and tell them the things you like about them. The weird is in your head. Id appreciate being told that im a good dude. Actually, try yelling that. \"Hey (insert name here), I love you dude. Anybody ever tell you that? You're a great guy and you should keep that up.\"\n"
},
{
"query": "Say you always work out every other day, what will you \"accept\" from yourself as an excuse not to? Sick? Tired? Long day at work? Good date?\n\nI'm sitting here with no symptoms but some sore lymph nodes trying to figure out whether to work out or not...\nGuys who regularly work out, what will make you skip a day?",
"chosen": "If its leg day.\n",
"rejected": "I will skip for social occasions because I know I can make up the day later. I used to be gym first, everything second but I realized that was too imbalanced. I definitely force myself to go even after a long day of work because I know that once you miss that first day because you were \"tired\" you start having more and more days where you're \"tired\". And really: at the end of the day will you be happier or not if you decided to go to the gym? You'll probably be happier if you went to the gym.\n\nIn terms of being sick, as long as I can breathe I'll probably be in the gym. I'll work out with a sore throat or a mild cold, but if I'm dizzy I'll probably skip. At the very least I'll get in to do some stretching, mobility work, and maybe some arms or cardio or something.\n"
},
{
"query": "Have you mentioned it to them? \n\n(In any situation. (Behaviour/whilst communicating/habits/sexually ect ))\nWhat is something your SO does that you wish they didnt?",
"chosen": "She is really into her fandom. If anything I would just like her not to talk to me about it as my eyes go cross when she starts on a spiel.\n",
"rejected": "She doesn't close cabinets after getting something from the kitchen and then will leave the room. Or even worse, she'll come into a room I'm in to ask me a question, then leave without closing the door. \n\nThey're small things but they irritate the *hell* out of me.\n"
},
{
"query": "Ever since I was little I wipe my dick after taking a pee. Of course, not always, though. Sometimes in the public restrooms you can't but when I am at home, I always do it. I hate to just put it back in my pants and let it make my boxers wet. I also don't like to shake it off and splatter piss everywhere.\nDoes anybody else wipe his dick after taking a pee",
"chosen": "When you don't wipe, those drops end up on your boxers. Then when someone goes down on you without taking your boxers off, everything smells like piss. Sometimes it smells even if you do take the boxers off. I'm aware drips happen anyways, but as someone who doesn't like piss smell near their mouth...consider wiping?\n",
"rejected": "I can't believe that you blokes are still shaking. \n\nJust press on the tube under your nutsack where it kinda goes into your body/pelvis. A squirt will come out and no more leakage. \n\nThis also works for jizz.\n"
},
{
"query": "I’m a 15M, sick right now, and just want my mom. My dad was arrested earlier this year for sexually and physically abusing me. I’m in foster care now and they are good foster parents but I just want my real mom. It doesn’t make sense. She died when I was 3 so I don’t even remember her, and all my life my dad told me she didn’t care about me. I miss her especially when I’m sick. I know it’s shameful at my age and I don’t actually need her to take care of me when I’m a 15 year old boy. But I still feel like I need her and don’t want to feel like this anymore.\nHow can I get over wanting my mom? She died when I was young and I’m in foster care. I don’t remember her and my dad told me she never cared about me.",
"chosen": "Had me in the first third, not gonna lie.\n",
"rejected": "It's totally okay to have feelings and miss your parents. I do as an \"adult\", at 21. There is no \"too old\" to miss your mum. Don't allow these negative thoughts to become reality. And talk about your feelings to your foster mum. Talking really helps.\n"
},
{
"query": "I’m a 17 year old guy and I got jumped by 4 guys in ski masks who were around my age today 2 blocks away from my house. I feel like a coward now even though I know there is nothing I could’ve done. I also am slightly fearful for the future because it will probably happen again. Does anyone have any advice for me on how to deal with this?\nHow to cope with being jumped?",
"chosen": "I’ve been jumped twice, once it was like 5 guys with a knife and the other occasion with a small gun, 2 guys riding bikes. Sure, if i did something i would have died, but the best you can possibly do is cooperate, gain their trust because maybe they do look like they have all the confidence in the world but deep inside they’re scared too, they don’t know if you’re trained, or have a bomb or anything, so just cooperate if it ever happens again and get the nearest help possible, call the cops and get home. \n\nWhen it happened to me i just did that as quickly as i could and gave information to the police, eventually they caught 3 guys from the five i told earlier but i couldn’t get my things back because they’ve already sold them.\n\nThe important thing is that you get safely out of there. If you carry valuable stuff like a good phone, you can even put it in your underwear while walking and carry another phone not that good just to pretend is your real phone; in case you get mugged, you won’t lose anything. The same goes for every other thing. I did that until i got more confident about walking alone, plus i changed every day my route home just in case it happened something like i was marked by those guys, and to know every street and escaping ways, most of the time these guys aren’t from the same neighborhood so you can win by just knowing where you’re standing.\n",
"rejected": "Concealed carry permit if possible or needed, concealed carry, legally defend yourself with force. Less bad guys in the world. Good luck, stay safe\n"
},
{
"query": "I went to a liberal arts college. I majored in Politics. \n\nI can't count how many times I've been looked down on for having a \"fluff\" degree and people telling me I would never get a job. \n\nI work at Google now. It's really satisfying to me, that after college, I land at the #1 company to work for (according to Fortune at least).\nWhat do you feel like bragging about today?",
"chosen": "Just married an amazing woman and am in Iceland on my honeymoon.\n",
"rejected": "I'm 19 with my own apartment, a decent full time job with fantastic benefits, and I'm completely self sufficient. Next month I'll be entering a trade school to acquire skills to become an electrician.\n"
},
{
"query": "I’ve been wearing a hoodie nearly every day, but want to change that because it makes me look a bit immature. What are some good alternatives to a hoodie as an outer layer in your outfit? I want to start feeling good about my appearance, and take better care of myself.\n\nIf it matters, I’m 6’ with a thin frame, and still in high school (senior year next year, pretty sure I’m done growing).\nWhat are some good alternatives to a hoodie?",
"chosen": "Flannels. They come in different thickness so you can adjust for temp.\n",
"rejected": "Some decent 1/4 zip pull overs. You can wear them on their own or put a button up underneath.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm objectively attractive, successful, funny, etc. But I still after all these years find it to be improbable that a woman would actively be interested in me (or any guy for that matter, this isn't just a personal feeling... It's more of a gender/culture thing\nDoes anyone else have a hard time reconciling the fact that a woman might actively be interested in you?",
"chosen": "I had a female friend tell me this once and ask why it was. Unfortunately, it took me ***way*** too long to realize that she asked because she was interested in me... long enough that nothing happened.\n",
"rejected": "If a girl is interested in you she will ask you out, of course. I mean they aren't minded as they were still living in the 19th century, are they? :)\n"
},
{
"query": "In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.\n\nI know it’s just a stereotype that men constantly want sex and women always turn it down. However, am I doing something wrong?\n\nI’m fine with a 2-3 times a week. We have needs.\nMen, how often do you want to have sex?",
"chosen": "maybe 1 once a month if they want to\n",
"rejected": "*In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.*\n\n*However, am I doing something wrong?*\n\nAre you initiating the sex, or are you just waiting for him to take the lead and when he doesn't you assume he doesn't want to have sex? It's quite possible he did want more sex but thought you didn't, so he didn't bother trying.\n\nLikewise, guys will sometimes avoid it if they're stressed, not feeling great, etc. Not necessarily because they don't want it, but because they're worried they won't be able to perform and it'll be very embarrassing.\n"
}
] | 5
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000263214111328125,
"logprob2": -6.125,
"signal": 6.124736785888672
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000017881393432617188,
"logprob2": -9.25,
"signal": 9.249998211860657
}
| 3.125261
| 5
|
7817
|
[
{
"query": "How many of you are watching it?\nMy girlfriend loves it, they put it on Netflix so I watched an episode. Turns out the show is pretty good and I like all the characters and now I'm 3 seasons deep! My girlfriend is giving me major points for watching it so that's a huge bonus.\n\nHonestly, give it a shot, if you don't like it no harm done, if you do like it then enjoy all of the brownie points!\nGilmore Girls",
"chosen": "Whoa, I just started watching it last night. Nice coincidence.\n\nThe mom is hot and funny. The daughter is cute and a good foil for her mom. The writing for all the characters is charming and funny. I'm hooked.\n",
"rejected": "The conversational flow really bugs me. What I've seen of it shows everyone responding immediately after the other person is done, and it just feels too unnatural.\n"
},
{
"query": "Let's say you start dating this girl, and you're getting closer to one another. You start asking about personal relationships and family after a while, and she discloses to you that she was severely physically (not sexually, I know that would be a hard thing for anyone to swallow) abused growing up. Would you run for the hills, or...what?\nIs a history of abuse a turn-off/make-or-break for you?",
"chosen": "It depends on how she is handling it. If she's getting help and isn't just trying to hide it deep down, then sure, that's something I can handle. If she's going to use that as an excuse for every time she does something bad to me, then no, that's a dealbreaker.\n\nWe all have problems and issues. What matters is how we deal with them.\n",
"rejected": "Most all of us have some shit in our past that we don't care for.\n\nI say so long as it's not affecting the person they are today, I wouldn't worry.\n"
},
{
"query": "I (25M) am planning on proposing to my girlfriend (23F) in the next 30 days or so. Her family lives 12 hours drive away and 5 hours from the nearest airport. I really want to ask her father for his blessing/permission to marry her. I would feel better about doing it in person but it doesn't seem practical. I was thinking of calling him up and asking over the phone. I have met her family 3 before and I'd like to think I am in good standing with them. My girlfriend and I have talked a fair amount about getting married. We are actually taking a premarital group class at our church.\n\nWhat is your view on asking over the phone?\nIs it appropriate to ask for a father's permission to marry his daughter over the phone?",
"chosen": "Why are you asking for permission? Does her father own her? Can she not make her own decisions? Why not ask for her parents blessing before proposing. Although asking over the phone for permission is kind of weird, asking over the phone for a blessing doesn't seem quite so bad to me.\n",
"rejected": "It's not appropriate to ask him for permission, in general. There is no permission to be granted. He holds no legal right over her.\n"
},
{
"query": "Got asked out to watch a scary movie by a girl I've been talking to, and I want to accept, but I have absolutely no stomach for horror movies. Gorey action flicks are fine for some reason, but the minute you put on the ring I have to close my eyes and cover my ears. I'm guessing that she asked me on this date because it would be a good excuse for me to hold her close or something, but in reality I would probably be on the ground in a fetal position by the end. Have any other cowards had to deal with this situation? I feel like just owning up to it, seeing as that would take less courage than watching the movie, but I also feel like pussying out on a movie wouldn't be the most attractive thing to do early in a relationship.\nFellas, how should a complete coward deal with a \"scary movie date\"",
"chosen": "I don't like horror movies either, but its because they bore me to death.\n\nGore also doesn't bother me. Ichi the Killer and Battle Royale and all those ultra violent Asian movies are awesome.\n",
"rejected": "Lady here. A guy admitting something like this and owning it with no shame i.e. 'I'm sorry I have to be honest and tell you scary movies terrify me' is wayyy more manly and attractive than someone who refuses to admit that. It shows honesty, a willingness to laugh at yourself and not take things too seriously, comfort with who you are, and a total lack of crappy fake machismo / bravado. It's not showing weakness, it's being honest with yourself. And being honest and true to yourself is way more attractive than any outdated macho shit.\n"
},
{
"query": "Hello, kinda ashamed to ask this but I guess no one was born with this knowledge :)\nSo, the story goes this way, I am able to make women orgasm through oral sex, and so on, not going into more details.\nBUT\nWhen it comes to the actual act, I can't understand where I am going wrong honestly :))\nOn average, I am lasting around 30-40 minutes, wich I assume it's ok, but for some reason, when the girl I'm with gets close to that moment, something changes so much in the way it feels for me, that I just can't hold it anymore and there it goes.\nI am frustrated and I'm really getting close but I really don't know what I should improve.\nMen of Reddit, how did you figure out how to make a woman hit orgasm? Any tips for a young lad?",
"chosen": "Honestly, ***and I cannot drill this into people enough***, communication. Just talk to the person that you are with and ask what they like - even if they have to show you, learn. Every woman is different and just talking about what they like and what you can do - it can go a long way. Also, it's important to know that a lot of woman don't actually reach climax through penetrative sex. Honestly, do ask, learn and do.\n",
"rejected": "75% of women don't reach orgasm through penetration alone.\n10-15% are unable to reach orgasm by any means.\n\nThe clitoris, communication and erogenous zones are the keys.\nDon't watch porn for education, it's not real.\n"
},
{
"query": "He was a tight laced disciplinarian growing up who didn’t get social media till last year.\n\nI feel like I don’t know who he is anymore..\nMy dad just made a Christmas meme for his fitness group, how has one of your parents completely shattered your perception of who they are?",
"chosen": "My mom was a single mother since I was one. My dad hit her so she dipped and got a divorce. No child support so he could never have rights to see me. So I lived with my grandparents until I was 17. This way she could work and not have to deal with a kid all the time. She had me when she was 20, so as I grew up I get it. She was a kid and probably just wanted to party and what not. She loves me, I love her. I think she’s great. She would pick me up and we’d hang out on weekends. It’s not your usual growing up experience but it was fine for me. Wasn’t abused or anything, and I was loved and spoiled.\n\nI’m in my late 30s now. My grandparents (her parents) passed about 8 years ago. My mom had been wanting to tell me something for a couple years but never could. Finally she told my wife while she was drinking some wine. My wife had to tell me since we hate keeping secrets from each other. After hearing it, I was a little shocked, but it made some of the family weird interactions seem less weird and more “ohhhhhh....now I get it”. I didn’t tell my mom I knew. I just let her finally tell me (once again she had to be not sober lol). She didn’t want to tell me cause she didn’t want me to hate her... but she finally did.\n\nMy grandfather raped my mom (and he also raped my uncle who is in prison for theft/drugs/other shit for like ever). There were four kids, but the youngest got the attention apparently. When I was around 13 I found out he wasn’t really my grandfather by blood. He was my step grandpa. But he didn’t know I knew. I never even told him I knew. He was my grandpa. He never touched me. He loved me. He wouldn’t even let anyone spank me. I was the golden child. So hearing this about him, was so wild. I believed her though. My grandpa always wanted to help his ‘kids’ except for my mom. I always noticed he treated her as an outcast and I couldn’t understand why. One uncle is dead from getting hit by a semi truck. One uncle in prison. One daughter a coke head who married a rich guy, cheated on him and couldn’t stop \n",
"rejected": "It is amazing how much older people change. My dad is less strict now than when he was before. He would yell at me a lot when I was little and in some weird way I kinda miss it. Idk why.\n"
},
{
"query": "I want to see what our success rate really is! Does our advice seem to do the trick most of the time?\n\nAlternately, have you asked a question on AskMen, decided *not* to take the advice, and wish you had?\nWe've seen lots of lovely successful update threads. But anybody (men and women) take AskMen advice and have it backfire?",
"chosen": "There was an AskMen thread a long time ago. I think it was essentially about trying \"advanced\" sexual techniques. Things to inject some excitement into a vanilla sex life and stuff. Well, I tried a few of the things you guys suggested. \n\nIt didn't go very well. \n\nI won't get into details but I can tell you it resulted in second degree burns on my genitals, pink eye, and the biggest yeast infection since the time raw sewage leaked into the Wonderbread factory. On top of that, the cat still hasn't come home and I'm pretty sure that turkey baster was what got everyone sick last Thanksgiving. \n\nThanks a lot, AskMen.\n",
"rejected": "I got cold feet when it came to serious commitment with my ex, and I ended up thinking that I could probably do better and should date other people just to be sure. I was told by friends and family members to quit being an asshole and appreciate how amazing she was, and go forward with the relationship. Askmen told me to dump her because I wasn't happy.\n\nA year later, I really regret that decision. I haven't been able to find anybody that's even close to as good as she was. I don't hold it against the community. I was a whiny idiot and I've learned from my mistake.\n"
},
{
"query": "First of all, it's way easier to find casual sex partners if you're an attractive guy than if you're average or unattractive. There's no denying that.\n\nDating is only slightly easier though. You still have to deal with ghosts, flakes, girls (or guys) who think you're cute but don't like your personality/lifestyle enough to pursue you, being led on, situations where there's mutual attraction but one of you is too shy to express/reciprocate interest, awkward/shitty first dates, missed connections, unhealthy relationships, being used, etc. The only difference between that and being average/unattractive is the frequency at which all those things happen. Being attractive doesn't automatically give you a fulfilling dating life or a dating life in the first place, it isn't the \"get out of singlehood free\" card some guys think it is.\nWhat are some misconceptions about being an attractive guy?",
"chosen": "For me it's objectifying, it gets tiring after a pretty short while. Would be nice if a girl wasn't pushing herself onto me on a 1st time we hang out (not even a date), I feel like a toy to most of them, a cute puppy they want to OWN so nobody else (other girls) has access to it\n",
"rejected": "I'm attractive and I feel that since I am quiet people assume the worst, like they think I'm too good to talk to them or I'm an uptight snob. I actually suffer from social anxiety and it's hard for me to be comfortable around people so I clam up. The girls at work are attracted to me but I can't even talk to them without one of us falling for the other and it's just a mess. \n\nI won't deny that being attractive makes certain things much easier. I can get away with a lot thanks to my looks. I used to be fat and remember how people wouldn't give me a second look, they just don't care about ugly people the same way. It's fascinating. But life is not perfect, there are always going to be problems you face. I wish people wouldn't assume that my life is amazing because I can assure you it is not.\n"
},
{
"query": "This is in response to the AskWomen topic where it was presented that many women don't get along with their own gender. Apparently it's considered derailing to present that the inverse seems to be seldomly true, so I'd figure I'd ask here.\n\nSo men of AskMen, why do think that some men don't share these sentiments about their gender?\nWhy do you think it's so rare that some men don't get along with \"other men?\"",
"chosen": "Generalizing here, but I find that male acquaintance-ships are generally more... neutral/indifferent?\n\nIts almost as if I don't care enough to make a fuss. I found that to be the case when I lived in the dorms back in college; there were guys who went in \"blind\" (didn't know their roommate before living with them), and ended up having very few issues with eachother. \n\nI also tend to be pretty good at compartmentalizing people. There are coworkers I'd *never* want to hang out with outside of work, but we have no ill-will towards eachother while we're working together. I play sports with other guys. We have a great time while we play, but we have virtually nothing in common other than that, different lifestyles, views, etc. but we're there to play sports and have a good time, so that's what we do. I don't really hang out with them outside of that context.\n\nHopefully that makes some sense.\n",
"rejected": "Personally, I consider it to be a character flaw if someone can't get along with an entire frickin' gender.\n"
},
{
"query": "Are you in love with your car and constantly rev the engine while driving? Do you wear graphic tees with women in bikinis on them? \n\nI specifically pick T-shirts that are snug (not tight, but well fitted) around my biceps because I feel like it makes my arms look good. I told this to my wife admitting that it was a little douchy. She rolled her eyes and made fun of me. Still love my t shirts though.\nWhat is the douchiest thing about you?",
"chosen": "I work out (bodybuilding) and sometimes flex in class or in public, discreetely...\n",
"rejected": "Loud music in the car guy here\n"
}
] | 7
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000335693359375,
"logprob2": -8,
"signal": 7.999664306640625
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000017881393432617188,
"logprob2": -8.75,
"signal": 8.749998211860657
}
| 0.750334
| 2
|
417
|
[
{
"query": "What opinion do you have that will offend people? Please I swear to god if I see some guy with tons of downvotes at the bottom for a different opinion I'm gonna be pissed. It's the point of the thread people. If you disagree with someone's opinion by all means argue them, but don't bury it at the bottom of the page in downvotes.\nWhat Unpopular/Offensive/Strange/Controversial Opinion Do You Have?",
"chosen": "I actually feel that men have issues as well as women. Not the oppression Olympics, but just as much as women have problems so do men. \n\nApparently, that means I'm a misogynist.\n",
"rejected": "People who advocate for doing drugs (of any kind) care more about people knowing how \"cool and progressive\" they are than they do about actually doing the drugs. If you want to do them, just shut the hell up and do them. \n\nThe only difference between people constantly talking about trying to make marijuana legal and Miley Cyrus is that Miley Cyrus makes millions for trying so hard.\n"
},
{
"query": "Tonight i was running full speed from my car in the pouring rain and slipped and fell. Flew full speed down a flight of stairs headin to my place and landed on my lil propane bbq grill. Got a lump on my back, cut my shins, finger was bleedin good and bashed my shoulder and lower back in the tumble down.\nWhat's something dumb you've done recently?",
"chosen": "I ate two KFC sandwiches, followed by a bunch of bread buns that were on sale...then went to bed. Sayonara, fitness goals.\n",
"rejected": "All you can eat buffet. I ate all I could. WTF was the point in going to the gym these past few days. I mean it was one time thing but I really went overboard.\n\nI guess I just have to go twice as hard in the gym.\n"
},
{
"query": "It's been a rough day, week, month for me and many others and it going me thinking; nobody has given me a compliment in a long time! I am 28 years old, three relationships in my life and I can count on one hand the amount of times that I have been told by my significant other that I am one of above adjectives. As men I understand that we're expected to compliment more and don't receive as much as women in my opinion but I want to hear from you! So, when was the last time someone told you that you are sexy?\nWhen was the last time that someone told you that you were sexy/handsome/dapper/beautiful?",
"chosen": "Yesterday.\n\nHey, OP, you're a sexy devil. And don't let anybody tell you otherwise.\n",
"rejected": "Late 40s, was told twice last year I looked like Sylvester Stallone, by complete strangers. Didn't ask what decade, I just took the compliment.\n"
},
{
"query": "Specifically, grooming, exercises, in the kitchen, in the workplace, family, friends. Whats one thing every guy should do every day to maintain or become better? Ex: I use a nasal strip to combat blackheads. Its an uphill battle.\n[SERIOUS] What are some things men should do everyday?",
"chosen": "Cold showers in the morning - feel great and invigorating [optional if you shave hot showers]\n\nHealthy meals - within reason [schedule etc]\n\nSkin care routine - good facial scrub - facial masks - good shaving gear [razor/shaving gel/aftershave] - body wash - hair wash - loofa/cleaning device - clean the crack - nail clippers - lotion - foot care [sprays/deodorizer for shoes/etc] - chap stick - \n\nDental hygeine - tounge scraper/mouth wash/floss/white strips - dental guard if you grind your teeth at night [bruxism]\n\nMaking your bed - should be the first thing you do\n\nA solid gym routine - stay in shape \n\nWater - drink this everyday \n\nWorkplace - neat - organized - professional\n\n\nIf you got time sprinkle in a few texts to friends and family to see whats up\n",
"rejected": "Make your bed every morning. It may not seem important but the routine will set the tone for the rest of your day\n"
},
{
"query": "At work, I am paid to socialise with a group of people for about 4 hours. I don't have a boyfriend, and while I have made one up before, I dislike lying. How can I remove the sting of \"rejection,\" so that at the end of my shift when I go home, the men that want me aren't left disappointed, but ultimately happy with my tour?\n\nI'm in no way feeling guilty about it, but I count on reviews of my work, and I think it is affecting that. TIA for any advice other than \"just sleep with them.\"\nMen of Reddit, how can women in the service industry make it clear that they won't go back to your place, without offending?",
"chosen": "Thankfully there are lots of men who understand that servers' friendliness is part of their professionalism and reliance on tips, and so don't put you in an awkward position because of it, however there will be a number who don't understand that - but you still need those tips. So I can see your dilemma.\n\nI'd agree with guys suggested white lies. Flashing a fake wedding ring and \"thanks I'm flattered but I don't think it'd go down well at home tee hee\" might be a good way to defuse the situation while still maintaining the tippable persona of a fun, cute and friendly server. These probably aren't teachable moments for them, and it's not your job to teach them about boundaries either.\n\nYou can be direct as other are suggestion, but as you say, it runs the risk of offense - which has a financial impact on you. It's a shitty situation, and there's no easy choice here.\n",
"rejected": "I think you should just politely but firmly say it. It's honestly not your job to tip toe around their fragile feelings and it's their problem they aren't keeping a professional setting professional, not yours. Just say \"I like to keep work at work and keep things professional\", you don't owe any more than that. And if that is reflected in your reviews, it should be apparent and you should be able to appeal it pretty easily, and in extreme cases, escalate it to someone in your org who will handle this intrusive behavior. Sorry you're even put in this position, but the desires of random strangers at your job should never impinge on your personal agency.\n"
},
{
"query": "I met someone over the weekend for some casual fun. I had expressed I enjoy oral, had sent pictures that showed me sucking on a dildo. We had phone sex where I described giving a slow, slobbery blow job. We meet in person and I see his erect penis in front of me. At first stroke with my hand and before I take him in my mouth, he tells me that he doesn't care very much for blow jobs.\n\nWho else feels this way?\n[Serious] How many of you men don't care for blow jobs?",
"chosen": "Eye-opening responses in this thread. Obviously, each of us has his/her own preferences, but I always thought a huge majority of guys loved blowjobs. Blowjobs are my favorite, even performed by less talented partners they still excite me visually and feel great. My fiancée is immensely talented and enthusiastic, which makes it even better. We still have penetrative sex more often than oral sex, but I think if some cruel scenario forced me to give up one or the other, I'd have to keep the blowjobs. \n\nI second those who recommend talking about it with him; maybe he's had bad experiences before, or you can learn his preferences. But it's also becoming clear that many guys are lukewarm to fellatio, or even prefer to avoid it. I had no idea!\n",
"rejected": "Nah I'm not a BJ type of guy, I mean it's 'okay' but I've never climaxed of one whether it was down to her or me I will never know but I'd much rather go down on her.\n"
},
{
"query": "Easy ways to break the ice, have fun, and get to know each other. i.e., taking turns saying a word and asking the person you're with to say the first thing they think of.\n\nI'll compile the list as they come in:\n\n1. Would You Rather\n\n2. \"Harambe\"\n\nScrew it, I'm going over to AskWomen.\nWhat are your favorite conversation games when you're out on a date?",
"chosen": "Question game is my favourite game. \nIt's both a chance to get raunchy and get to know someone while keeping it light hearted and fun. \nJust don't fucking over do it and ask a million questions stop the second it gets boring.\n",
"rejected": "Ask her how often she masterbates. \n\nShows that no topic is off limits and that you are comfortable with your sexuality. \n\nMost girls have said they have in the last few days, the longest was about two weeks ago.\n"
},
{
"query": "I (25M) am planning on proposing to my girlfriend (23F) in the next 30 days or so. Her family lives 12 hours drive away and 5 hours from the nearest airport. I really want to ask her father for his blessing/permission to marry her. I would feel better about doing it in person but it doesn't seem practical. I was thinking of calling him up and asking over the phone. I have met her family 3 before and I'd like to think I am in good standing with them. My girlfriend and I have talked a fair amount about getting married. We are actually taking a premarital group class at our church.\n\nWhat is your view on asking over the phone?\nIs it appropriate to ask for a father's permission to marry his daughter over the phone?",
"chosen": "Why are you asking for permission? Does her father own her? Can she not make her own decisions? Why not ask for her parents blessing before proposing. Although asking over the phone for permission is kind of weird, asking over the phone for a blessing doesn't seem quite so bad to me.\n",
"rejected": "What the fuck? If you're gonna go traditional, go all the way.\n"
},
{
"query": "On dates and for trips and days out, if your partner insisted on paying for herself and never lets you pay, would you be happy about it?\nWould you be happy if your partner always insisted on paying for herself? Why or why not?",
"chosen": "TBH I'd feel kind of guilty if the other person always paid, quietly indebted whether the other person feels the same way or not. Also, if it's an every time thing I'd feel guilted into choosing cheaper options rather than what I would actually get if I was paying.\n",
"rejected": "I am different. \n\nI am going out tomorrow with a girl and I am absolutely 100% paying, why? I was my invite. \n\nBut I am totally fine with us hanging out next weekend doing a Netflix and chill weekend and she spends 60 bucks on a grubhub order for both of us, if she wants too I dont care. \n\nI am pretty sure she has more money then I do. But \n\nIt all depends, generally if you invite a girl out you pay, despite. \n\nIf she invites you out she pays. \n\nOnce your actually an item personal and combined finances are more important then chivalry.\n"
},
{
"query": "Or at least, you *perceive* them to be better looking. For example, say you're a single man in a social setting with single men/women.\nHow do you maintain confidence when you're around other guys who are objectively better looking than you?",
"chosen": "Why wouldn't you be able to?\n",
"rejected": "Do you ONLY pay attention the the hottest girl arround? Can't another woman grab your attention if there is ayone more good looking? \n\nOf course the good looking people might grab more attention, but that doesn't mean you can't meet someone and that you're instantly invisible.\n"
},
{
"query": "Not even talking about a sexual context. I shook someone’s hand the other day and realized I haven’t had physical contact in weeks.\nSingle men, when’s the last time you were touched, or you touched someone physically?",
"chosen": "A long time ago. I hate human interaction... But I long for affection 🙃\n",
"rejected": "Every Applebee's has a gloryhole.\n"
},
{
"query": "I've noticed that for a while, male role models have become rather... stupid. It might have started with Al Bundy and Homer Simpson and gone downhill from there.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nIt leaves me wondering, what fictional male role models do you have?\n\n&#x200B;\n\nI don't have any male role models myself but, a friend of mine has Homer Simpson as a role model.\nWhat fictional male role models do you have?",
"chosen": "Well sitcoms are not the best place to find role models, as they're supposed to be stupid and unrespected. For example, every character on The Big Bang Theory.\n\nPersonally I find very few role models that I can actually look up to. But I'll name a few and how they've impacted me;\n\n* Rand Al'thor, reminding me to work hard to achieve my goals.\n* Matrim Cauthon, reminding me to stay humble even when being narcissistic.\n* Iron Man, for making me excited for engineering\n* Ganoes Paran, for showing me how to just take what life throws at me and keep going.\n* Thom Merlin, teaching me that even an old ostracized man can care deeply for others.\n",
"rejected": "Jack O'Neill\n\nJean-Luc Picard\n"
}
] | 8
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00004076957702636719,
"logprob2": -8.75,
"signal": 8.749959230422974
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000017881393432617188,
"logprob2": -7.75,
"signal": 7.749998211860657
}
| -0.999961
| 3
|
2018
|
[
{
"query": "Sometimes when I'm fucking my SO (especially at the beginning of our relationship) it feels like he's working hard instead of getting absorbed by the pleasure of sex like I tend to. He gets this look on his face that's a mixture of concentration/determination. It really fucking turns me on, but at the same time...I don't think have an equivalent expression, even if I'm 'trying', like riding him hard or giving a hj/bj, it never feels like something that requires a lot of mental work and I often get 'lost' in sex, even when I'm the more active partner. I sometimes wonder if my boyfriend doesn't attain the same level of sex-drunkeness that I do because he's so wrapped up in the 'performance' of it. I'm not asking for advice, just trying to elaborate a bit. I'd love to hear other guys' thoughts on this.\nDoes sex feel like a performance to you?",
"chosen": "I don't believe that's what he meant. I think he meant more along the lines of \"How often does a women have to buy a man a drink, take him out to a fancy dinner, get him a new watch, ect ect.\"\n\nIE how often is it the expectation that the woman will woo the man? I know a few girls who are willing to take the initiative and ask guys out or be the first to get physically aggressive. I don't know many who court. But I wouldn't hold my own biased and anecdotal experiences as evidence.\n\nMany of us guys are left feeling like sex and love is very much something we compete over and win from a woman. And then we have to win it again every time we sleep with them.\n",
"rejected": "Sex is for the woman. If you're working hard it's for her, if she's working hard it also tends to be for her. Idk exactly why this is, but i haven't really found an exception yet. \n\nThat's why blowjobs are a great alternative!\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm a recent grad with an entry-level engineering job doing challenging, fun work. Occasionally I work with a couple folks a few years older than me in another department. They've been more frequently asking me to do \"coffee-fetcher\" tasks. (e.g., at a conference they had me pick up lunch while they chatted with friends but I thought they were preparing for their presentation. They text me periodically asking me to bring supplies to their building when they've forgotten it, even though I have a ton of work of my own to do, etc.)\n\nDon't get me wrong though; I certainly understand that I'm low-man-on-the-totem-pole so don't mind paying my dues and doing the more trivial work. And I don't mind doing favors for coworkers occasionally. But I also don't want to be taken advantage of.\n\nHave you guys ever been in similar situations? How do you assert yourself in an entry-level job and make sure you are given challenging work without coming across entitled?\n\ntl;dr I earned an engineering degree so that I could do challenging work and not fetch coffees and act as courier when my older coworkers don't plan ahead. How do I assert myself so they don't make a habit of this?\n\n*thanks for the suggestions!\nHow do you assert yourself in an entry-level job?",
"chosen": "Talk to your boss and ask for some projects to do or what's going on in the dept that you could get a hand in. Show that you want to be there, don't just go to work and do your work if you really want to get ahead. Talk to your supervisors and tell them that you want some more tasks to do during your work day. Then if someone asks you to go run coffee and they aren't your direct supervisor or connected to him/her in some way then tell them you're busy on a project and you can't right then. Other than that you'll kind of have to suck it up and prove yourself worthy of harder/more responsibility.\n",
"rejected": "Understand that the reason they are giving you tasks of fetching coffee and shit is because you have let them.\n\n\"Sorry, am doing xxx, can't do it.\" \n\nMake up a task if you have to. Don't let yourself get suckered into doing menial tasks just because other people are too lazy.\n"
},
{
"query": "We all like to toot our own horn every once in a while, right? Tell me what you did recently to make you proud of yourself.\nMen of AskMen, what did you do recently that you're proud of?",
"chosen": "Today I went on a date. Well, sort of, kinda, maybe a date? 🤷♂️\nI have ASD and blend in rather well. But I don’t get out much and find connect hard. \nBut today I met with a lovely woman for lunch and it was an instant bond. \n\nEven if nothing comes of it, I’m proud of myself for breaking out of my shell.\n",
"rejected": "I lost 30 pounds went from 185 to 155 :)\n"
},
{
"query": "I have a mother with a chronic illness, a father who is extremely overweight, and in-laws who aren’t in much better shape. None of them have adequate retirement savings to sustain themselves or to cover long-term assisted care. All are approaching or have reached the social security retirement age.\n\nI can’t be the only millennial who is overwhelmed by the implications of elders who may need support into their 80s or 90s without proper provisions (beyond meager social security checks) for their own care.\n\nHow are you preparing for this situation? My goals are to protect my family from financial ruin, and to honor my parents and in-laws in their vulnerable late age.\nMen, how do you plan to care for your aging parents and in-laws, particularly elders who have failed to adequately save for retirement?",
"chosen": "I vote for politicians who support increased funding for social security and universal health care\n",
"rejected": "If they haven't saved, you're going to have to choose between the crap-tier care Medicare offers and bankrupting yourself.\n\nTry to get assets passed off ahead of time so that when they're applying for medicare they look as poor as possible.\n"
},
{
"query": "Indulge me with your tales of woe.\n\nAs a bonus, feel free to add the story of how you got through it and what, if anything, you learned.\nMen, what are your stories of failed engagements?",
"chosen": "I met a girl during my first year of university and we dated for a few years before I proposed. We decided on a long engagement since we wanted to finish school (undergraduate & graduate school) and get established in our careers. She was an angry but loveable waif and I tried my best to make her happy (it was my first serious relationship).\n\nOur relationship had its fair share of both good and bad times. I consoled her when she had family problems (her sister is a narcissist and her elderly mother is an enabler), travelled half-way around the world with when her father suddenly passed away, supported her through mental health issues, stood by her after an injury and subsequent physical rehabilitation, was accepting when she decided she was asexual, helped her find a job at my company during a recession (her degree did her no favours), and was totally onboard when she asked to explore polyamory. I'd like to think I was a pretty decent partner and she didn't have too much to complain about (well she would complain but I'd always try to fix it). \n\nThen I had a very poor year where one of my lifelong dreams died a painful death. My depression got the best of me and my professional and academic life suffered. She gave me ~5-6 months to \"fix\" it because it was too much for her to handle with her own ongoing issues. The harder I tried to get better the lower I sunk until she decided to call off the engagement. We had been together for a little over 6 years.\n\nHow do I deal with it? There is some bitterness surrounding the fact that she couldn't support me when I was at my lowest even though I had never stopped supporting her but she was very matter-of-fact about it all so I understand that it wasn't done out of a place of malice. She has always been logical to a fault (I'm the \"bleeding heart, liberal, Arts major) so I suppose I shouldn't have been too surprised when she logic'd me out of her life when I became a burden. We're still friends and I do care for her well-being but I do not and can not love her any more.\n",
"rejected": "Got engaged to my American girlfriend. We needed to be married to be able to live together. We had the downpayment for the venue payed, she had bought the dress. But we couldn't figure out in what country to live. Actually she had a change of mind. She didn't want to move and i never put down me moving as an option. So my job won out over our marriage.\n\nIn hindsight it's all for the best. She would never have been happy here.\n"
},
{
"query": "Other questions include:\n\n* How do you express your feelings?\n* What makes it difficult to express your feelings?\n* What changes could be made that would make it easier to express your feelings?\nFAQ Week: Why do men have problems expressing their feelings?",
"chosen": "It is us women that need to try a hell of a lot harder to LISTEN to our fellow men and to keep an open mind when they do express themselves!\n",
"rejected": "A lot of us don't have any problems expressing them, we just don't want to. It's not about being perceived as weak or feminine or any of that shit, I just don't feel like sharing. I process internally and expressing them serves zero functional benefit.\n"
},
{
"query": "I get a little jealous and paranoid about my girlfriend of 7 months (4 months LDR). This is mainly because of her going out and drinking and having a large amount of male friends which she spends a majority of her time with. I'm afraid that if I don't learn to subdue these negative feelings that I will lose her. Any advice on how to avoid ignore said feelings? Thank you for your time have a happy holidays guys\nMen, how do you deal with your jealousy? If you have any",
"chosen": "As a woman I would just like to say that I LOVE jealousy in a man. It makes me feel secure, needed, desired and desirable by others. I also realize that I may be in a minority of women with this viewpoint.\n\nA man doesn't HAVE to be jealous, but I don't think it's a negative trait unless we never go out because of it or you never let me go anywhere alone because of it.\n",
"rejected": "I punch my walls.\n\nIt helps...temporarily.\n"
},
{
"query": "I've already asked AskWomen and will be posting to AsReddit but I want to try to get a decent view of the gender difference. \n\nIf you haven't used a flair yet, it would be useful for this question, plus they're cute (I like symbols).\n\nI'd like to know what you consider early warning signs and/or, if you didn't catch them, warning signs when you were in the relationship \"proper\"? \n\nAre there any you don't see mentioned in articles?\n\nI might blog about this at a later date but I won't use your username or direct quote - well, unless you ask/let me.\nAskMen, What are some relationship red flags?",
"chosen": "If you feel as if you cannot express your feelings around you partner.\n\nEspecially, if you are afraid that you partner will criticize you or blame you for expressing your feelings\n",
"rejected": "A history of dating men significantly older than she is.\n\nOwning a horse.\n"
},
{
"query": "I was making chocolate chip pancakes this morning. My ex would always add another layer of batter over the chocolate chips so they don't stick/burn to the pan. I realized I still do this and it reminded me of her.\nWhat's a habit that you picked up from your ex that you still do?",
"chosen": "Sleep with the TV on. \n\nShe couldn't sleep without the noise and the light, it made her feel safe. For me the opposite, it brought on bad dreams and flashbacks to my alcoholic father (he slept with TV on as well) it was really really hard but I forced myself to get used to it for her. \n\nNow I can't sleep without it on or I wake up feeling alone and abandoned and lost and not knowing where I am.\n",
"rejected": "They all had a habit of dating men, and now I do too.\n"
},
{
"query": "In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.\n\nI know it’s just a stereotype that men constantly want sex and women always turn it down. However, am I doing something wrong?\n\nI’m fine with a 2-3 times a week. We have needs.\nMen, how often do you want to have sex?",
"chosen": "maybe 1 once a month if they want to\n",
"rejected": "*In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.*\n\n*However, am I doing something wrong?*\n\nAre you initiating the sex, or are you just waiting for him to take the lead and when he doesn't you assume he doesn't want to have sex? It's quite possible he did want more sex but thought you didn't, so he didn't bother trying.\n\nLikewise, guys will sometimes avoid it if they're stressed, not feeling great, etc. Not necessarily because they don't want it, but because they're worried they won't be able to perform and it'll be very embarrassing.\n"
},
{
"query": "Let me elaborate on the title. I was talking with my fiancee about her sister who has recently found herself a twenty year old single mum. I mentioned that I was a bit worried about her in the future having a love life because not many guys are willing to take on a single mum.\n\nApparently according to her and most of my friends this is a strange viewpoint. I don't really see whats wrong with it, I'm 25, I've only recently come round to the idea of having kids myself and if I have them I want my own. I don't want some other guys ditched kids (if the Dad has left) or to not feel like a real parent (if the Dad has joint custody).\n\nI compared it to buying a dog, adopting from a shelter is a lovely thing to do, its giving something a second chance but given the choice most people would opt for the cute little Labrador puppy over the 3 year old angry looking pitbull. Its natural to want something of your own and to shape it.\n\nRight? Or am I just a monster as several of my friends seem to think.\nI would never date a woman with children, is this a strange viewpoint?",
"chosen": "I'm \"some other guys ditched kid.\" I am not an angry-looking pitbull. I am not a charity case waiting to be adopted from a shelter. I'm a person. \n\nThere's nothing wrong with not wanting children, and I opened this thread to say just that. Your language, however, is distracting. Demonizing the child of a single mother with this sort of metaphor because you, at this point in your life, don't feel like being a father is pretty gross to me. \n\nThe thing about reddit is that people get to show the sides of themselves they choose. When someone asks a question like this, there's a ton of social context we could be missing because OP chooses to omit them. The things you've said make me think you've used this sort of language to describe your situation before, potentially to your SO or friends. If I personally knew the child you're inadvertently comparing to an \"angry looking pitbull,\" I'd find you sort of monstrous as well.\n",
"rejected": "I don't want to raise some other guy's kid(s).\n"
},
{
"query": "Looking for some cool ideas of what I can do in my free time often, that doesn't involve staying inside my apartment.\nWhat's a hobby that you currently love, but was apprehensive to start at first?",
"chosen": "Dance. I did it for 7 years. It spawned off of my love for music but its otherwise a good way to get fit and meet women as well. Its a great outlet to escape some tough day-to-day challenges as well.\n",
"rejected": "Pooping in a toilet. At first I was like nah the diapers are working fine, why change what ain't broke? But my parents forced me to use the big boy toilet and I've been using it ever since. I've grown to love the damn thing.\n"
},
{
"query": "25F here. I asked my group of guy friends a question that had them debating for at least 45 minutes. It went, “Would you rather lose 5 inches off of your height, or 3 inches off of your penis length?” (If you had to choose, basically) \n\nThe girls found it hilarious, to say the least.\nGuys - What’s a question you and your mates got into a heated debate over?",
"chosen": "Was the emperor the bad guy all along?\n",
"rejected": "The term milf applies to those over 30. If you’re 21 and attractive and have a 2 year old that’s not a milf. That’s a young mom. \n\nYes I know technically a milf is a mother. But if someone says hey I hooked up with a milf are you thinking of a 20 something or a 30-40 year old?\n"
},
{
"query": "Do you not get in touch with a girl for three days bc that's the code? What other rules are not a myth?\nWhat \"dating rules\" do you follow?",
"chosen": "Just feel it out and do your best to assess situations appropriately.\n\nOne thing being in my later twenties has taught me is that I took dating WAY too seriously in my early twenties. Back then I worried about rules, and how long I should wait for this or that. I thought if I scared off a girl I liked it was the end of the world. When you get older you realize that its not really that big of a deal, and worrying about it just makes everything worse.\n",
"rejected": "Not so much of a rule, but...\n\nIf I contact her or make conversation or ask her out and it doesn't happen, then the ball's in her court. If she isn't going to contact me, then I'm just going to let it die.\n"
}
] | 9
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000017881393432617188,
"logprob2": -7.75,
"signal": 7.749998211860657
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00015926361083984375,
"logprob2": -5,
"signal": 4.99984073638916
}
| -2.750157
| 4
|
3351
|
[
{
"query": "I'm a sensitive guy, so I was pretty hurt when a girl once told me I'm not her type. I've heard some bad stories, though. Do share.\nWhat's the cruelest thing a girl has said to/about you?",
"chosen": "\"I care about you, but I don't love you.\"\n\nBoom, dropped that bitch like a hot potato.\n",
"rejected": "\"I'm breaking up with you because I started sleeping with my ex-boyfriend and it's not fair to him.\"\n"
},
{
"query": "I recently went on a date and the girl showed up in a hoodie. I knew right then she wasn't interested because she made basically no effort in getting ready. Then lo and behold, she wasn't at all engaged in the date.\nWhen on a date, what are signs within the first 5-10 minutes that a girl is interested in you or not?",
"chosen": "If a girl interested in you she: will never use her phone (unless its emergency which will end date), will ask YOU questions, will expand topics you talk about. \n If you impress her good enough, she will ask for next date, but don't expect her. \n\nAlso: You should end the date. Not her, you.\n",
"rejected": "Phone usage\n"
},
{
"query": "Always wondered about the life changing instances for people becoming men from boys\nWhat was the instant you realized you’re a man now",
"chosen": "I ask God for help every day, I’m decisive, I’m responsible to the people who hire me, I’m generous with my own resources and I don’t go through life with a clenched fist.\n",
"rejected": "I didn't. I'm a 36 year old father of 3, a tradesman, I have a mortgage. I still am waiting for some event to make me feel like more than a child trying to keep people from being mad at me.\n"
},
{
"query": "In work today and went into the mens toilet to find that it's covered in piss. Someone must have come in here and made the concious decision not to aim at all and instead windmill it all over the toilet seat and bathroom floor. I need a shit... bad.. and fine myself precariously wiping the dribbles of wee from the toilet seat. Seriously just aim ffs\nWhat is something that other men do that really annoys you?",
"chosen": "Constant fucking whining. I'd be the last one to enforce gender roles, but seriously man the fuck up.\n",
"rejected": "Talk about women like objects (sorry for white knighting) just makes you sound like a dick\n"
},
{
"query": "Got asked out to watch a scary movie by a girl I've been talking to, and I want to accept, but I have absolutely no stomach for horror movies. Gorey action flicks are fine for some reason, but the minute you put on the ring I have to close my eyes and cover my ears. I'm guessing that she asked me on this date because it would be a good excuse for me to hold her close or something, but in reality I would probably be on the ground in a fetal position by the end. Have any other cowards had to deal with this situation? I feel like just owning up to it, seeing as that would take less courage than watching the movie, but I also feel like pussying out on a movie wouldn't be the most attractive thing to do early in a relationship.\nFellas, how should a complete coward deal with a \"scary movie date\"",
"chosen": "I don't like horror movies either, but its because they bore me to death.\n\nGore also doesn't bother me. Ichi the Killer and Battle Royale and all those ultra violent Asian movies are awesome.\n",
"rejected": "Lady here. A guy admitting something like this and owning it with no shame i.e. 'I'm sorry I have to be honest and tell you scary movies terrify me' is wayyy more manly and attractive than someone who refuses to admit that. It shows honesty, a willingness to laugh at yourself and not take things too seriously, comfort with who you are, and a total lack of crappy fake machismo / bravado. It's not showing weakness, it's being honest with yourself. And being honest and true to yourself is way more attractive than any outdated macho shit.\n"
},
{
"query": "I don't have a cat nor a girlfriend. Since the latter is not obtainable for me in the near future I was wondering if it would help for me to get a cat. I really need cuddling and can't seem to function without it. So would getting a cat help?\nIs cuddling with a cat anywhere close to cuddling with a girl?",
"chosen": "Umm...\n\nGet a dog. A big dog. There are no big cats. Well there are. But they might try to eat you.\n",
"rejected": "A cat isn't a bad bridge until you get a girlfriend, especially if you live alone. It's nice to have at least some other living thing in your space to interact with. \n\nAs for cuddling, if you consider having a warm ball of fur asleep in your lap cuddling, then you'll be great. If you're looking for spooning and snuggling, you'll probably be a bit disappointed.\n"
},
{
"query": "And how do you handle the reverse if your SO still has feelings for someone?\nGuys who still aren't over the one who got away, does your current SO know and how do you two handle that reality?",
"chosen": "'/r/AskMen, the guy I've been seeing still fucks other girls on the side sometimes. How can I get him to stop or else become okay with him fucking other girls on the side?'\n",
"rejected": "It sucks always being the girl who is never the one that got away but rather the \"good enough\" to be settled for or temporarily spend time with.\n"
},
{
"query": "I feel like this is an underrated topic that is hardly discussed with close male friends and family who are currently married. The opinions are always more communicated and stronger AFTER marriage. \n\nI am 32 years old and I have NEVER heard a currently married male friend or family member tell me stuff like, “I love being married” or “you should get married”. It’s always, “don’t get married “ or “don’t be in a rush, stay single”.\n\nIMO most men go along with marriage because their spouse wants it. Women are the gatekeepers of reproduction(the man’s desire for a family) and men are the gatekeepers of marriage(a fantasy fulfilled and stability for women). I don’t understand why men get married when they aren’t crazy about it in the first place, AND they have the most to lose if it doesn’t work out.\nMen, how many men in your life have recommended marriage?",
"chosen": "It’s such a Reddit idea that most men are against marriage. Go out in the real world and most dudes are aiming to settle down and get married one day.\n",
"rejected": "I love being married. Marriage is not a transaction though. If you go in with the attitude “what’s in it for me” then ya you are going to be disappointed. Marriage turns me in we, and we is awesome.\n"
},
{
"query": "Context: My mother read to me when I was young. I don't know how she found the time (she had 8 kids) but it's one of my best chilhood memories. I'm divorced now, but love reading to my kids and they love it too. \n\n I'm just interested in hearing what books you have read to your children (my boys are 6&8) that all of you have enjoyed. Some of my favorites are The Hobbit, Holes, Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness, Lost in the Barrens, and the Little Prince. Recommendations would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!\nFathers of AM, what's the best book you've read to you children?",
"chosen": "The Jungle Book. Not the book adaptation of that pap smear of a movie, the Rudyard Kipling motherfucking classic.\n\nDates back to when we didn't mollycoddle kids with babyfied stories until they were old enough to reproduce. There is terror and brutality as well as honor, friendship, loyalty and bravery. The animals are anthropomorphized, but they're still animals. \n\nThere's a lot of hidden nuggets of deep wisdom in there, like this:\n\n*Now this is the law of the jungle, as old and as true as the sky,\nAnd the wolf that shall keep it may prosper, but the wolf that shall break it must die.*\n\n*As the creeper that girdles the tree trunk, the law runneth forward and back;\nFor the strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack.*\n\nI would stick to the stories about animals while they're too young to understand historical context. It was written by an Englishman, in colonial times. Dig?\n",
"rejected": "She's only almost 2, so The Pigeon Needs a Bath\n"
},
{
"query": "For me it's porn. I read recently that the most popular porn sites are all owned by one company who is worth a fuck ton of money. It's just a big game where dudes get hooked on it and fall down the rabbit hole.\nWhat conspiracy theory do you low key believe in?",
"chosen": "Titanic never sunk because she hit an iceberg instead it was RMS Olympic as a insurance fraud\n",
"rejected": "That the US let 9/11 happen, the one that crashed in PA was shot down, and that a plane didn't hit the Pentagon.\n"
},
{
"query": "Maybe there is something that is unique to you that annoys you or you really don't like? Of course usual annoyances are also welcomed, it'd be interesting to know anyhow!\nWhat annoys you in a girl, that is not something typical like too much shopping or talking on the phone?",
"chosen": "chewing with your mouth open. Girls or guys.\n",
"rejected": "Being incredibly too perky to the point you can tell it's an act. So many I see at work are like this.\n"
},
{
"query": "During is okay too...and I know “weird” is subjective so I guess what I mean is weird to you, or something that came out unexpectedly that maybe you never said before.\nWhat is the weirdest thing you said during sex, specifically at the end?",
"chosen": "My gf once tried to say fuck me daddy and fumbled the words and came out as \"faddy\". I figured out what happened and just replied \" ya you like this fatty dont ya?\".\n",
"rejected": "I once yelled at my Bf during sex to “stuff me like a turkey”. We died laughing.\n"
},
{
"query": "What's the meaning behind this? I'm sure it's mixed signals but what is considered a \"mixed signal\"? Etc.\nThanks.\nI'm a girl, curious to know what makes a girl 'complicated/hard to read'?",
"chosen": "Complicated is a change of general direction, insecurity about decisions, ambiguous answers, contradiction in behavior and words, etc. Many women will say one thing, do another, think a third one. And we didn't even touch on feelings yet. As a guy, all I can say is: if you run into a woman like this, just avoid. Not worth the trouble.\n",
"rejected": "sense of commitment, guys hide it in different ways than girls.\n"
},
{
"query": "You know when you watch a movie or tv show and go like “yeah, that’s the kind of girl I want to be with”?\nWhich fictional movie/tv character is the closest to your ideal partner and why?",
"chosen": "The T-Rex from the original Jurassic Park.\n\nHuman women get some credit for having boobs, but they still can't compete with a proper dinosaur.\n",
"rejected": "The Red Alert 2 apocalypse tank. That fucking thing is a huge fucking tank with two huge fucking cannons on it. Any argument someone comes up with is invalid.\n\nWhat man doesn't want that?\n\nOn a side note, I always liked Korra from the Avatar cartoons. She's athletic and likes sports, not a damsel in distress, has an unfiltered mouth and has the same impulsive personality as me.\n"
},
{
"query": "What are your opinions on shy, soft-spoken, and passive women under 30? Do you like them or do they annoy you? Would you prefer a woman who is more career-oriented, outspoken, strong, and independent?\nMen of Reddit, what do you think of shy, soft-spoken young women?",
"chosen": "Find them annoying. Speak up and stop being so timid.\n",
"rejected": "Hard to say.\n\n In both cases, what you're talking about is how they *express* who they are (shy vs outspoken), rather than who they are. I could like her based on who she is, or \"who she is\" could be someone I'd cross the street to avoid.\n"
},
{
"query": "I was scrolling down one question about peeing when someone said \\`\\`there is a point between your balls and your anus where, if you press it, you will empty your bladder (because you always have a little amount of pee there after peeing)\n\nThat dude saved my life, hands down, my underwear smells quite better rn\nWhat is something r/askmen taught you are grateful for?",
"chosen": "you can make an erection go away by flexing every muscle for 30 seconds. first thing I do every day before I pee.\n",
"rejected": "Having a girlfriend who actually lets me share my emotions without judgment or changing her feelings towards me.\n\nShe's clearly a gem, but I already knew that.\n"
}
] | 7
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00005841255187988281,
"logprob2": -6.125,
"signal": 6.12494158744812
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000017881393432617188,
"logprob2": -6.25,
"signal": 6.249998211860657
}
| 0.125057
| 8
|
7655
|
[
{
"query": "I had a dream a couple nights ago that I was having sex with some guy. I don't know him in real life, but I remember thinking that I wasn't really attracted to him in my dream. So anyway, he's on top, pounding away, enjoy the hell out of the sex while I lay there quietly wishing he would finish. He pulls out and cums on my forearm, then I proceed to use the cum to draw a turkey on my arm. Then I woke up. Really, brain?!\nWhat's the most \"WTF\" dream you've had recently? Or ever? (X-Posted from AskWomen)",
"chosen": "Last week, I had a dream where I was working in an army base, and my current wife and I went into the public restroom and proceeded to have sex. She was a hermaphrodite, and I had her upside down against the wall fucking her in a downward position while I stood over her, jacking her off. People would come in and pay to see this, while poking their heads over the stalls. I then woke up to confirm that my wife did not grow a dick overnight.\n",
"rejected": "My dreams are almost always about creepy forests, deep water or skeletons. I have had these dreams for so long I kinda expect skeletons whenever I dream.\n\n\"So I'm on a boat in the middle of lake, a skeleton will totally not drag me under the water Friday the 13th style. Oh there you are, very spooky\"\n"
},
{
"query": "Waxing nose hairs, shaving legs, bleaching teeth? Which is it?\nWhat's a male grooming trend that you don't get and actively avoid?",
"chosen": "Bleaching teeth , dafuq do I wanna look like one of the osmande brothers for.\n",
"rejected": "I hate going to a barber. \nI've been cutting my hair since I was 15 .\n"
},
{
"query": "Happy Men’s Day kings! Since society can’t give a shit about today.\nDid y’all know today is International Men’s Day? If so, how did you find out?",
"chosen": "We get a day?\n",
"rejected": "I mean I don’t pay attention to when it’s international womens day either\n"
},
{
"query": "What do you think about them if they have a limp handshake? I always thought strong handshakes weren't really required for women, but maybe I'm wrong.\nDo you expect women to give firm handshakes?",
"chosen": "I don't give a crap about handshakes at all. It's a greeting. I place zero weight in it.\n",
"rejected": "Limp handshakes are so uncomfortable and awkward. Hate them from anybody.\n"
},
{
"query": "what activity ( apart from masturbation) do you enjoy doing. and would you suggest others try it? \n\nGod damn, you guys are awesome!.\n\ni wanna do 90% of the things i see in here.\n\n2017 budget just got tighter\nHey guys. What is your hobby/ an activity you would suggest trying?",
"chosen": "I open up the tripadvisor listings for my city, see an important historical thing that seems interesting and make a day-trip of it. It works on many levels:\n\na) You can actually know of cool things to see in the city when you have out-of-towners visit. \n\nb) You learn good dating spots and activities.\n",
"rejected": "* Firearms\n\n* Mechanical keyboards\n\n* Collecting gear\n\n* Knives\n\nAs it turns out, everything I'm interested in is expensive as hell.\n"
},
{
"query": "It can be any type of clothing: a specific kind of pants, skirt, dress, shoes, even underwear or bathing suits! I'm asking because I was recently told I should wear yoga pants more often. I'd had no idea how popular a thing that had become! So what else am I missing out on?\nWhat style of clothing do you find particularly attractive on a woman?",
"chosen": "I've always had a weird thing for punk/rock clothes, slashed jeans and hoodie for example. Long as they fit well (i.e. still show the right curves), so damn good.\n",
"rejected": "it's situational, but PVC in public on someone who can wear it properly. wow.\n"
},
{
"query": "I (24m) am meeting a person (24F) for a catch-up and I am unsure how to greet them when we meet.\n\nI'm an overthinker and I am unsure whether to go in for a hug when we meet or to just avoid it and sit down at a coffee shop. \n\nWe haven't actually spoken to each other before but we went to school together (13yrs ago) and I randomly messaged her which to my surprise she said yes too. \n\n\nAny advice is welcome.\nMeeting for a catch-up with a female - how do I greet? (Hug? do nothing?)",
"chosen": "stop saying and/or writing \"female\". This isn't a biology class, you are meeting a woman.\n",
"rejected": "Usually women who are into hugs will initiate going in for a hug.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm really curious and seeking inspiration for my boyfriend. We're in a LDR and I get to see him next on June 22nd. We're going to have a while together, so I'm hoping I can have him lust over me/really knock his socks off for whilst we are. Advice?\nWhat's the sexiest thing a woman has ever done in front of/for/to you?",
"chosen": "We were watching a movie in bed and someone rang the doorbell. I went to get it and said jokingly \"When I'm back, I want you to be naked\". She just said \"yeah you wish\", but when I returned she was laying there, all naked.\n",
"rejected": "Oh man, this one will always stand out to me. I was dating this girl in high school, she was very small and quiet, very shy and nerdy. Like, she was very into anime and cosplaying and stuff like that. Anyway, one day, we were out driving around together, and we saw a pet shop. She got really excited and asked me to stop so we could go in and see the animals. I agreed and we pulled into the parking lot and went inside. \n\nShe spent some time walking around, cooing at the kittens and birds and stuff. There's something about a cute girl being sweet to small animals that is already really adorable, so there's that. Then, we walked down another aisle, and she saw a bunch of dog collars. She saw a little pink faux-leather one with a little pink bow on the front and she got all excited and picked it up off of the shelf and handed it to me. She didn't say anything, she just turned around and backed up really close to me and reached back to hold her hair up so I could fasten it around her neck for her. I was a little surprised, but I put the collar around her neck and buckled it on and gave her a little pat on the head. She turned around and put her hands on my chest and looked up at me with these wide eyes and asked me, \"Yours now?\" Chills, I melted. \"Yes, mine,\" as I wrapped my arms around her. Ooooh... I liked her. I bought the collar for her and she wore it all the time until we stopped dating several months later.\n"
},
{
"query": "Would you say it's all the time, some of the time? If you finish quickly, do you always make an effort to make sure she's satisfied afterwards? Is it a big priority to your partner to orgasm?\nHow big of a priority is it to you to make your SO orgasm?",
"chosen": "All the time. Every single time. Multiple times if it's not done in a hurry. \n\nIt's as much of a priority as me getting off. Sometimes more. \n\nGuess it helps that I love eating pussy too *shrugs*\n",
"rejected": "Most of the time it's the top, even above my own. It's just feels that much better knowing she's taken care of.\n"
},
{
"query": "I used to be a white-knight, rushing to the cry of inequality among people, looking to help society as a whole, but over the years I have become \"disgruntled\" as I find the loudest people in various groups, like women's rights, are not there to see equality but to change the way the world works so they don't have to change.\n\nI am tired of the angry cries of how abusive and pig-like men are and being lumped into the small portion that they seem to detest. It doesn't matter what we do as men, we are always seen as the willful oppressor and having special privileges. I for one have had not such luck. \n\nWhenever rape or abortion are brought up we seem to be able to have no say, even if we are involved. The idea of being falsely accused of being a rapist with no evidence is pushed aside and cries are made that people are \"derailing\" the conversation. It is as if we are simply here to be the evil incarnate they can rise up against.\n\nI understand that this is not all women. I understand that this is a small portion of women, but I for one am sick of being the scapegoat for all they see as evil and being told to \"suck it up\" or bit my tongue because I am infringing on their rights. Personally I never raped a women, I never bailed on a child and I never failed to pay alimony, so quit blaming all men. This attitude is just as sexist what these women claim to be fighting against.\n\nSorry for the rant, I just needed to get it off my chest and I am sure I'm not the only guy who has been holding my tongue as to not seem \"insensitive\". Personally, I Don't care any more.\nHow many of you are ex-white knights?",
"chosen": "I prefer the term \"captain save a ho\"\n",
"rejected": "\"I understand that this is not all women. I understand that this is a small portion of women, but I for one am sick of being the scapegoat for all they see as evil and being told to \"suck it up\" or bit my tongue because I am infringing on their rights.\"\n\nSo you're annoyed that for *some* women, *all men* seem to be guilty, so you blame *all women* for that?\n"
},
{
"query": "As a metalhead, I'd say a potential partner should have a developed taste in music (doesn't really have to be metal, but it would be sweet if it was). \n\nWhen someone tells me that they listen to pop, I die a little bit, because they listen to a couple of top charts songs, and that's pretty much it. And every month they listen to the different charted songs. (so music tastes here) \n\nAlso, listening to entry bands and artists is not a music taste in my book. You've been listening to the same songs from the same artists for years. Aren't you bored? Don't you want to explore something else? \n\nBecause, I get bored from bands pretty easily. I'll spam a certain album for a few days, then find something else, spam that, then back to the first album, then find a different one, and so on.\nHow important to you is someone's taste in music?",
"chosen": "Because I'm into very niche pockets of music, I don't care what you listen to just put your soul into it. Sounds fucking cheesy but if you like the weirdest shit on the planet but your life revolves around that I find it super attractive. \n\nNothing pisses me off more than a tinder chick saying, \"I like everything really\", when I ask her what music she's into. BE SPECIFIC!!!\n",
"rejected": "I can find musical common ground with most people.\n"
},
{
"query": "I love hearing a guy make some noise in bed. But the guys I have been with have generally been quieter and just breathe heavily or moan a little bit when they're turned on or when they cum. On the other hand, I love making noise in bed and almost feel like I need to shut up because he might think I was putting on a show (which I kind of like to do because men are very easily stimulated visually, but I don't pretend to be moaning when I am not turned on). Why don't men make as much noise during sex? Is there something wrong with what I'm doing?\nWhy aren't men too loud in bed?",
"chosen": "All that practice from trying to be stealthy while jerking off growing up\n",
"rejected": "I make a sound like I'm trying to lift something heavy. Is that ok?\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm currently on a nostalgia bender, and as this decade slowly comes to an end, I can't help but think about the past one and how much I enjoyed growing up as a kid then. Anime was becoming mainstream, pop music was surprisingly enjoyable, technology played a role in our lives but wasn't as isolating as it is today, and visiting Blockbuster on the weekends was exciting as hell. It was a much simpler time. \n\nHow many of you feel the same way and why?\nMen of Reddit, how many of you grew up in the 2000's and what do you miss about it?",
"chosen": "I grew up in the 90s and it was the best time for hip hop,\n",
"rejected": "The internet used to be wayyy less toxic. Xbox live, random chatrooms, MSN messenger, Youtube (youtube is a uber-toxic cesspool now but it used to be great), Newgrounds, Albino blacksheep, Naurto, etc.\n\nDefinitely the biggest factor. Going on the Internet as a kid was just so much fun. I used to play neopets & club penguin, OMGPOP or whatever. Everyone was just there to have fun and have a good time, now I just feel like everything is toxic.\n"
}
] | 9
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000017881393432617188,
"logprob2": -5.875,
"signal": 5.874998211860657
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000012755393981933594,
"logprob2": -5.5,
"signal": 5.499987244606018
}
| -0.375011
| 3
|
6519
|
[
{
"query": "Tell me where you want to be; what you want to have accomplished.\nGuys, what's your 5-year plan? (Also posted in AW)",
"chosen": "Finish PhD in space systems engineering, get married, move to a state I like, get a job in the field, and start saving dat money.\n",
"rejected": "I hope to sell my home and move a little further north on some acreage. Other than that, I'm pretty content with life and just want to enjoy it.\n"
},
{
"query": "There's no painless way to do it, but I'm looking for the most gentle option.\nHow would you tell your spouse that it's over and you don't want to try to \"save\" the relationship?",
"chosen": "\"We need to talk... and its not going to be fun. Lets just rip this bandaid off.... I think we need to split up. Its past the point of me wanting to save this and my heart is not in it anymore for __your reasons here__\"\n",
"rejected": "You shouldn't be looking for gentle, you should be looking for dignified. You need to let them keep their dignity and treat them with as much respect as you can. You care about them and still probably love them so show them that even in the end.\n"
},
{
"query": "Apologies in advance for the formatting.\n\nMe[m24] and my gf[f25] have been in a relationship for almost four years. To me, I thought our relationship was pretty good but as of recent, she has been gone for a few weekends hanging out with another guy. She said she met him a year ago and just now started to hang out. One day, i decided to look through her facebook messages because I was concerned(I know, downvote if you will) but she said that they made out a couple of times. I'm not sure whether sex was involved but the deed was done regardless. Knowing this, I told her that I was uncomfortable with her seeing him a lot. At this point, she does not know that I know due to her facebook messages. She said that there was nothing between them. \n\nWe both share an one bed room apartment and we both split the expenses for living where we are. We are both on the lease but the utilities are in my name.\n\nHow can I deal with this mess? Should I full on confront her or just wait until the lease is up? What about having a mutual agreement to just be roommates ?\n\ntl;dr My GF maybe cheating on me and she thinks I'm stupid. What can I do to resolve this?\nMy gf [F25] has been hanging out with another guy and says that nothing is between them.",
"chosen": "So, recently my wife started hanging out with someone. She said there was nothing between the two of them and she thought he was gross. Very similar situation. She said that she was thinking of cheating on me so I ended it quickly. These two are together now. Bam! There is something between them and if you are in a committed relationship there is no room for something like that.... it is completely unacceptable. If she wanted to work things out and be faithful she would end that shit. Also, you shouldn't be spying on your girlfriends facebook although I understand why you would want to.\n",
"rejected": "You're getting played like a fiddle, and she's getting everything she wants. What do you think you should do?\n"
},
{
"query": "I've seen it once or twice, and I've heard a lot about it. Do men always have a certain girl, that no matter what, they would get back together with them (sexually or relationship wise).\nDo you have that one girl?",
"chosen": "I wouldn't say its unhealthy though it has the potential to be, its more likely just extremely dangerous. Its a chemical bond that is extremely strong.\n\nI know, I found a girl and had a connection like that and it was one of the most scary experiences iv had in my life so far. You feel pretty helpless, the trick is to understand that it is just a chemical connection and to recognize if the relationship is healthy and supports both people rather than hindering.\n\nIn my case it was hindering so I ended it, it was extremely painful.\n",
"rejected": "Yes, she dragged me through hell and put me In a deep depression like I had never seen. But I would do it all again for even one day with her.\n"
},
{
"query": "I just sneezed while taking a piss and got really fucking upset about it.\nWhat small thing irrationally pisses you off?",
"chosen": "People who do not follow the line marking when turning at intersections, and come into my lane. You don't cross the dotted line on straight roads, why do you have to do it at an intersection?\n",
"rejected": "Chronic throat clearers. Especially the really heavy nasty loud throat clears. It's fucking disgusting.\n"
},
{
"query": "Mine sucked, filled with depression and anxiety. I spent too much time trying to figure out my life. \nUnlike my friends I never had a girlfriend and didn’t party till the dawn. So I feel like I missed out a lot and wondering If I can have the experience?\nMen of reddit, how was your high school experience like? Was it truly the best time of your life?",
"chosen": "Was okay. I didn't like how little freedom i had. I much prefer life now i have the financial freedom to do whatever i want.\n",
"rejected": "It was the worst 5 years of my life. I don't think it's possible to stoop any lower.\n"
},
{
"query": "For friends and strangers. And pretend this is during **non-covid** times.\nWhen talking to someone, regardless of gender, how often do you make physical contact with them during the conversation?",
"chosen": "Never. I also limit eye contact and stay at least 4 feet away.\n",
"rejected": "I cannot think of a single time I've made physical contact during a conversation.\n"
},
{
"query": "When I was in high school a handful of girls were convinced that virgins can't have thigh gaps. Any girl with a gap, thus, has had sex.\nWhat's the worst misconception you've ever heard about women's bodies?",
"chosen": "That all women have their period with the cycles of the moon. He has gone on to study medicine and I hope he knows better now.\n",
"rejected": "the whole \"breaking hymen\" myth\n"
},
{
"query": "Met a pretty English girl in Copenhagen. Married 6 months later. 21 years, 2 kids, 2 countries. Redditting too much.\nWhat's your story in 20 words?",
"chosen": "Student debt makes me indentured slave. 19 years to go in service. Crying in my grand office. Please send help.\n",
"rejected": "Got bored of the UK. Turned down Mi5 job. Sold didgeridoos in Australia. Learned karate in Japan. Married with kids.\n"
},
{
"query": "What are you trying to learn?\n\nWhat have you learned?\n\nHas any of it helped?\nWomen of r/AskMen, why are you here?",
"chosen": "To take over the world.\n",
"rejected": "My husband is ultra quiet, and I like learning new things about dicks and balls.\n"
},
{
"query": "Inspired by the emotional labor question, many men reported carrying the weight for keeping the romance alive.\nMen, what can a woman do to romance you?",
"chosen": "Plan... the ... dates. Saying \"Oh we should do something fun\" is not a helpful contribution if I am expected to do the rest.\n",
"rejected": "Ask me to come out and do things with you, put some initiative in planning dates and such. I love it when a woman puts the same amount of effort into those things, it makes me feel more important.\n"
}
] | 4
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000017881393432617188,
"logprob2": -5.75,
"signal": 5.749998211860657
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000016927719116210938,
"logprob2": -9.375,
"signal": 9.374983072280884
}
| 3.624985
| 6
|
2735
|
[
{
"query": "My (19f) husband (23m) has recently gotten really into playing this one COD game. He’s never really been a gaming type of guy, but specifically likes this game a lot. His friend recently game shared with him, making it possible for us to do two player. He’s been asking me to play with him. I keep saying yes because I want to, but continue putting it off. I enjoy playing games, but the problem is I’m super bad at them. Like horribly uncoordinated, and very easily confused and distracted. I can barely play Minecraft without constantly dying. I once tried playing a Fallout game, and couldn’t even make it past the very first level on extremely easy. Also, shooty games just aren’t my thing. I don’t find them that fun or entertaining. When he plays I will watch him and he will talk to me explaining what he’s doing. I try really hard to pay attention, but I just can’t get into it. However I really want to. I just don’t know how to go about practicing, or how I can learn more about it. I’m afraid that I’ll just slow him down, or embarrass him if we are playing online, or lose so much it effects his progress. What are some ways I can get better at playing video games? What modes or guns or weapons should i practice with?\nHow can I get better at playing video game for my husband?",
"chosen": "He isn't really a full on gamer yet, if he just plays COD. Or worse, FIFA. I would try to find some co-op games with an actual story like the Halo titles. Master Chief Collection would be a great idea for you guys, it's shooty and co operative split screen so you can do the campaign together.\n\nOnline shooty shooty is just mind numbing, I totally get it.\n",
"rejected": "Practice. There is a lot of muscle memory when it comes to controls.\nBut it just might not be the game for you\n"
},
{
"query": "I am creating a podcast about masculinity in films. I want to cover films that I believe every man should watch in his lifetime. So far, here’s what I have in mind for discussion:\n\n- Rocky\n- The Godfather\n- The Searchers\n- Shane\n- The Princess Bride (yes, that’s right)\n- Braveheart\n- The Patriot\n- True Grit\n- Star Wars (*Episode IV*)\n- No Time For Sergeants\n\nI want to add more comedy films, as well as a variety of genres. What “manly” movies do you enjoy, or do you feel every man should see at least once?\nWhat are some “manly”movies you enjoy?",
"chosen": "Pitch black (2000). \nJust ignore the sequels though, and do us all a favor.\n",
"rejected": "Princess Bride is the manliest movie ever made.\n\nFor the purpose of saving myself some typing I'd like to add to this list anything that stars Arnold, Clint Eastwood, Denzel Washington, Harrison Ford, or John Cena.\n"
},
{
"query": "It's a phenomenon that so many people talk about: that dating got exponentially easier for men in their 30s compared to their 20s. I hear so many guys say things like \"When I was 22 I wasn't getting a date, let alone casual sex. But now that I'm 35 it's like women are falling over themselves to hook up with me!\"\n\nWhat do you think changes so drastically in people's lives around that time, that they start experiencing dating so differently? I've heard optimistic reasons (ie \"people mature and stop playing games\") and pessimistic reasons (ie \"people get desperate and try to settle\"). Your thoughts?\nGuys who have found that dating gets easier in your 30s - why is this?",
"chosen": "Well, personally I lost like 200lbs between 28-31. \n\nAside from that, I have a ton more confidence, I have a better idea what I want, I can realistically date anyone who is over the age of 25, thus expanding the dating pool tremendously and I don't give a shit about getting rejected.\n",
"rejected": "What I've learned on reddit and the internet with dating and being 30 something,\n\nNo dates, no kisses, no hugs, no pussy in your 20s? Don't worry big guy once you hit 30 you'll be making 45K/year plus you're going to be handsome as fuck just do some pushups and drink water. Hang in there bro when 30 hits you might need 3 of you just to keep up with all the pussy. Be careful though women are trying to trap a man like you nothing makes the pussy more wet than monthly payments on the Civic and a once a year 3 day vacation (that you can't afford) to a warm place. Ignore that 29 y/o she's trying to lockdown a beta provider after riding the cock carousel for years and her sexual value shit her value as a fucking person is gone. You're now part of the 20% in the 80/20 club bro welcome aboard and enjoy your stay. If only internet was real life.\n"
},
{
"query": "I work at dick sporting Good and I absolutely hate it. I do not want to work another minute in there but I do not know how to quit? Like I hate the manger and dealing rude ass people at retail. so is it wrong if I just never show up back up at work? Because I'm completely stressed out from working there plus I'm a college engineer student so I don't want to work there anymore Fuck that job.\nHow do I quit my job? 20 year old male",
"chosen": "Whatever you do don’t just not turn up one day, it’s cowardly, puts your colleagues in the shit covering for you and you never know if your next employer won’t call them for a reference.\n",
"rejected": "Eh. Just call em and quit. But you won't be able to use them as a reference. I've worked retail for 10+ years and have seen every form of quitting. You mean nothing to these jobs and will be replaced in two seconds. I've worked with people who literally have just walked off halfway through their shift. I know of some people who walk out after just their orientation. Hell some people don't even show up for the orientation! Retail is a revolving door. Long term employees are used to it and don't care.\n"
},
{
"query": "How life working out for you? I'm 23, never finished college, and pretty satisfied with my life. I'm working at a restaurant and getting a promotion here pretty soon, and even without the raise I'll be getting I'm living comfortably as it is. I have food on the table, good friends, and a good place to live. I really don't have much to complain about, and I'm wondering if other people have had similar experiences.\nMen who dropped out of college, what's your story?",
"chosen": "I was too young and stupid. I dropped out to go to work and live a little after seeing only schools all my life. After little over a year I enrolled again and finished it.\n",
"rejected": "I became a cool drug addict and failed at college. Multiple times. So I tried something else. Then I learned a trade and got sober. I just like working with my hands man, and making stuff. \n\nI can't stand working in an office every day. And college just isn't for everyone. The fact that it is assumed everyone should do it pisses me off a lot\n"
},
{
"query": "Society is defined as much by it's positive values as it is by it's negative values. Conforming to certain principles is the basic glue that holds us all together. Who we shame defines us(in a negative fashion) but there are some who say we shouldn't shame anyone at all. \n\nWhat do you think?\nWho do you think we should shame in society?",
"chosen": "Shaming people for how they treat their children seems like it would be an exception that.\n\nThere's a reason that kids don't get hit in public very much anymore.\n",
"rejected": "If you are riding shotgun and the driver is sitting in the left lane not passing anyone, it's on you. It's your responsibility to correct this behavior and get them to move over and not hold up traffic. True evil is when good men do nothing, so to those who let this slide all I have to say is SHAME! SHAME! SHAME!\n"
},
{
"query": "So I'm a 24 yo guy moving to a new city. I'm slightly worried about making friends and work in a field full of women (97% women). I never have problems talking to women but find that friendships w/ the opposite sex often end in someone (or both) catching feelings. However, I feel like it's a hard for me to start friendships with guys. My 4 closest friends are guys, but they all happened organically without putting in too much effort. So what are your suggestions?\nGuys, how do you make guy friends?",
"chosen": "Network through women you jive with easily at work. Outside that, maybe check out your local subreddit, if they have an active enough one, and join clubs and activities you're into.\n",
"rejected": "If you're into sports, that's the best way to initiate hangouts from my experience. \"Hey the ___ game is on thursday, wanna hit up X bar and have some beers while watching it?\".\n"
},
{
"query": "picture this: one day you show up at the barber for that fresh cut, but your main man Joey ain’t in that day. so you go with mikey, and his haircut is on point. next time you walk in you wanna get that sleek haircut from Mikey again, but your boy Joey says whats up and prepares his chair for you to roll up. \n\nhow do you tell him he ain’t the one?\nHow do you tell your barber he ain’t the one?",
"chosen": "Just find another shop. Ditching a barber is *really* bad idea\n",
"rejected": "I'm afraid it's the only way.\n"
},
{
"query": "Are there emotions that are \"unmanly\" to feel, or display? How are you expected to treat women? Are there any online norms that are gendered?\n\nDo you feel like \"becoming a man\" is an important aspect of your life right now? \n\nWhat are the issues young men are facing currently?\n\nI'm 24 but I don't know anyone in this age group (11-18ish) so I was curious what you guys are currently finding challenging in life.\nGuys in their preteens or teens, what have you been taught about \"how a man should be\"? What's it like being a young man in 2015?",
"chosen": "19 here so just on my way out of that age group. In all honesty the difference I see between my peers who I still consider boys (not saying I'm already a man) and I is emotional maturity, a sense of accountability and responsibility, and a respect for humanity. \n\nEmotions are only unmanly to those who aren't comfortable enough with themselves to hear someone else be that vulnerable. In this day and age I'm expected to treat women as equals, and I do. It only really becomes an issue when girls think that guys don't like a smart, and independent woman because then they dumb themselves down or act needy. I have multiple friends who are girls that do this and it honestly makes it very difficult to treat them as equals.\n\nAt this point in my life I do feel like becoming a man is important. I recognize the fact that I'm not just gonna wake up one day and find out I'm a man then it's over with because becoming a man is a never ending process. I see that it is something I am going to work on for the rest of my life so for right now I'm working towards growing up one step at a time. \n\nAs for issues, it's very difficult living in a world when you can be in the room with 5 friends but still be totally alone. A majority of young adults my age are glued to the screens of their phones indefinitely and is frustrating because there's no conversation or personal interaction. I am finding that the older in getting it's learning but it still upsets me to know that that's how most kids are going to spend their ten years now, living behind a screen.\n",
"rejected": "Hey man I struggled too but then I realized something: Being funny is not about amusing others, but its about amusing yourself. When I am out I am trying to make myself laugh all the time.\n"
},
{
"query": "i was reading this [non-fiction] book & came across the following sentence - \"his favorite bird is the summer tanager.\" which i thought was awesome! do you have a favorite bird? what is it?\nmen of reddit, what is your favorite bird?",
"chosen": "Probably blue grouse. They're beautiful, and gentle. When they're with their babies, they make these beatiful little coo sounds like a dove. The male displays are cool to watch too. Dumb as hell, but lovely animals.\n\nI really like the personalities of california quail though. They have nice little family groups, they have crossing guards to get across roads, scold their babies. Bit playful, very clever. Really awesome birds. Only ones I can really draw competently too.\n\nAs far as colours go, the most brilliantly coloured bird I've ever seen in person is the vermillion flycatcher. I've never seen a color so vivid in nature before.\n\nBirds and birdwatching is just fuckin cool man. I highly recommend giving it a go. Borrow some binoculars and go out to a lake this time of year, and start with learning the breeding ducks. That is if you're in the northern parts of the US/southern canada or europe.\n\nOnce you get comfortable IDing distinctive birds bynsight, get into differentiating songs. 90% of birding is spund based, then you can narrow in and try for a visual.\n\nRavens are interesting. They know things, and they're curious about you, if they don't see people often. If they know you're watching them, they'll study you right back. Same with a lot of owls.\n",
"rejected": "PENGUIN LOOOOOOOOL EVARYONES FAVORETE BIRD IS PENGUIN IF YOU SE SOMEONE SAYEING THEY DONT LOVE PENGUINS THEY ARE SARCKASTICS\n"
},
{
"query": "During is okay too...and I know “weird” is subjective so I guess what I mean is weird to you, or something that came out unexpectedly that maybe you never said before.\nWhat is the weirdest thing you said during sex, specifically at the end?",
"chosen": "My gf once tried to say fuck me daddy and fumbled the words and came out as \"faddy\". I figured out what happened and just replied \" ya you like this fatty dont ya?\".\n",
"rejected": "\"I'm gonna walk around naked for a while because I feel like a Canadian Lumberjack.\" She laughed. She's a keeper.\n"
},
{
"query": "If you have this love language what do you want your partner to do to make you feel loved on a regular basis? Aside from the obvious hugging and handholding…..I feel like I missing something? Are there types of hugs/kisses maybe?\nIf you have Physical touch love language what do you actually want?",
"chosen": "Also taking baths and showers together.\n",
"rejected": "If I'm with a heavier gal, I like to be smothered, but just a bit.\n"
},
{
"query": "Hello guys! \n\nI’m currently looking for help with how you decorate your room without breaking the bank? I’m currently renting a condo with 2 female roomates and have come to realize I’m kinda sick of the ‘dorm room’ set up and loving their ‘Pinteresty’ set up. I had a huge Pulp Fiction poster up, 2 flags and some pop punk posters but I’m about ready to move on from that. I’m open to setting up shelves but am unsure what to put on them. \n\nSo, what do you guys use to decorate your room to make it more ‘adult’? \n\nI appreciate all help you’ll give to me and the other guys trying to exit the ‘Dorm’ phase!\nHow do I make my bedroom more ‘adult’?",
"chosen": "I glued porn pictures all the way around my walls\n",
"rejected": "i suppose the fastest way would be to remove the buzz lightyear wall paper and stop using the spirderman bed sheets, use plain ones instead\n"
},
{
"query": "Walk me through your average eating day. Is your body a fair reflection of your diet? What are your feelings on what you consume, are you even worried about your health?\nHow is your diet?",
"chosen": "Terrible. \n\nTea. \n\nTea. \n\nA burger or something. \n\nCola fanta cola water \n\nBeer. \n\nBeer.\n\nDisappointment.\n",
"rejected": "Great recently. Had a nice bachelors week filled with steak, greens, delicious delicious lobsters and fish. And a pizza.\n"
},
{
"query": "I noticed recently my partner started to say things about how tough and manly he is. I adore him, so I'm proud he's confident in himself. I just wondered if all men feel like that and why?\nMen of Reddit, do you ever feel like you have to prove how manly you are? If so why?",
"chosen": "No because that’s not how it works. But I’m glad that you’re supportive of your partner\n",
"rejected": "I think he's joking with you. Being sarcastic to make you laugh\n"
},
{
"query": "In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.\n\nI know it’s just a stereotype that men constantly want sex and women always turn it down. However, am I doing something wrong?\n\nI’m fine with a 2-3 times a week. We have needs.\nMen, how often do you want to have sex?",
"chosen": "maybe 1 once a month if they want to\n",
"rejected": "*In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.*\n\n*However, am I doing something wrong?*\n\nAre you initiating the sex, or are you just waiting for him to take the lead and when he doesn't you assume he doesn't want to have sex? It's quite possible he did want more sex but thought you didn't, so he didn't bother trying.\n\nLikewise, guys will sometimes avoid it if they're stressed, not feeling great, etc. Not necessarily because they don't want it, but because they're worried they won't be able to perform and it'll be very embarrassing.\n"
}
] | 5
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000019311904907226562,
"logprob2": -9.625,
"signal": 9.624980688095093
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000017881393432617188,
"logprob2": -5.5,
"signal": 5.499998211860657
}
| -4.124982
| 10
|
127248
|
[
{
"query": "I play a lot of Rainbow Six Siege and I get a couple of messages per day asking \"b or g\" or something along those lines, why?\nWhy do I keep getting asked if I'm actually a girl?",
"chosen": "Are you a real feeeeeeeemale, m'lady?\n",
"rejected": "Idk. Happens to me all the time. \nThem \"Are you really a girl?\"\nMy usual reply \"Last I checked\" \nThen they wanna be friends and I gotta tell them that I make it a point to not add those who start out by asking my gender. Some get pissed. Some apologize. 🤷♀️\n"
},
{
"query": "I realise this sub is pushing for inclusivity, but this is by far the most common situation of this kind that is argued about and I didn't want the comments to get diluted about all the other scenarios - feel free to make threads about the other situations if you want.\n\nSo the main problem I found is that pretty much everyone will argue \"You do not have the right to decide what does and what does not constitute the other person's dealbreaker criteria.\" which makes them immune to such counterarguments I've seen over time like \"they're upset over a state that physically no longer exists, and trans women were mentally always women\", \"it's like breast implants, dyed hair, mixed ancestry\", etc.\n\nAnd telling them that people who are upset about it should ask every woman they sleep with if they're trans never gets accepted because clearly no women would sleep with them if they asked such an \"insane\" question, and they also argue the numbers put the burden on the trans women.\n\nAnd one night stands aren't a 100% necessity for living, and just because many trans women would face violence and/or they could be outed if they disclosed, two wrongs don't make a right, and they argue trans women would rationally probably not want to sleep with a bigot either.\n\nSo simply because they consider the majority of men would be really upset (even if irrationally, due to socially ingrained transphobia), therefore everyone I've argued with consider it a very potential dealbreaker criteria that therefore has to be disclosed, otherwise it's a morally grey area.\n\nSurely there has to be a better counterargument than just admitting defeat and saying \"ideally people should examine their hang-ups, deconstruct and over time try to undo the transphobia that society has ingrained into them, and in the meanwhile, well some trans women will continue not disclosing but please don't hate them and other trans people because of it okay?\"\nIs it possible to win an argument with people on the fence regarding post-op trans women not disclosing their trans status for a one night stand?",
"chosen": "Thanks so much for this. Maybe I'm conflating my opinion with yours but I'm absolutely tired of this sub exclaiming that it's okay to prefer not to date/sleep with trans women and that we can't do anything about their biases. Maybe it puts me in danger, but I'm not going to compromise and throw away my pride by stating my trans status as if it was an STD. If someone has an aversion to it, I'll question why. They aren't going to change their minds if we just let them stay in their \"safe space.\"\n",
"rejected": "\"If not sleeping with a trans person is so important to you, you should really disclose before sex, you do not have the right to decide what does and does not constitute someone else's deal breaker\"\n"
},
{
"query": "It is so easy to watch a movie and tell the time period in which it was made by the out of date clothing that the characters wear. I would totally wear any of the outfits that pretty much anybody has on in The Devil Wears Prada - particularly the outfits that Andi wears. Does this say something about high fashion in particular? \n\nFor example, even though lots of high fashion sets trends that influence what the rest of us wear, is high fashion inherently more based on style rather than trend which enables it to have lasting power? Are the outfits so dripping with style and so unique that we haven't seen those styles and clothing combinations enough in the wild to make them feel dated? \n\nAdditionally, how do other \"fashion\" movies stand up to the test of time? I feel like the fashion in Pretty Woman would for the most part feel current today (post-makeover naturally). Then I think of the fashion spree in National Lampoon's European Vacation and I die laughing at the bad 80's looks.\nHow does the fashion in The Devil Wears Prada feel so current?",
"chosen": "If I had to guess, I would say you're right - the staying power of high end fashion exists because it tends not to fall prey to microtrends and even some of the more fleeting regular trends. For example, I couldn't see a high end company suddenly cutting out their shoulders because cold shoulders are \"in\" - part of which may be because I expect clothing at that price point to be higher quality, which would make it more difficult to change something throughout the manufacturing process.\n\nBut I do think a lot of the fashion in The Devil Wears Prada has a very corporate vibe - fashion corporate, but still corporate, which doesn't have a lot of major changes from year to year. Things like silhouettes slowly evolve - wide legged to tapered leg, shoulderpads to more relaxed - but the things that so effortlessly place an outfit as \"so 2006\" don't stick.\n\nHonestly I'm just commenting because I wanted to share an example in another direction: Legally Blonde, my favorite capsule of nineties-into-aughties fashion.\n",
"rejected": "Ngl though that fringe-y outfit still makes me cringe\n"
},
{
"query": "Pretty self explanatory. I was chatting with this girl on tinder and we hit it off pretty well, she asked me what I was looking for in tinder and whether I was Bi or lesbian. Told her I am totally lez and for full disclosure that I am a transwoman. She asked if I used to be a guy and I told her physically male yes although I've been transitioning since the last 6-7 months and she replies with :\"If you always like girls why you wanted to change your gender to be a lesbian?\nThe truth is a guy could be easier to get a girl\" told her it was a choice, just the way I was born and haven't heard back since. Sigh..\n\nNot like I was hiding it, it's on my profile, guess she just saw a pretty face.\nBlurgh, dating as a lesbian is so freaking hard",
"chosen": "It's hard but there are success stories out there - I am one of them.\n",
"rejected": "I've had more dates in the past year than the past 10, and they've all been with women. Frankly I'm finding dating women as a girl is easier, but perhaps it's just how I conduct myself.\n"
},
{
"query": "Is there a specific item you're looking for and can't find? Want to help fellow FFAers in their search for x? This is the thread to do it in!\n\nIf you're asking for help, please also try and answer others' requests! This only works if we all help out.\nFind Fashion Friday - December 13, 2019",
"chosen": "I’m looking for stylish shoes that can withstand a lot of walking that aren’t sneakers. I walk around town a lot and wear out my shoes super fast. Any suggestions are appreciated!\n",
"rejected": "This is probably a common request, but I am looking for a heavyweight basic white t shirt with no extra details. I want something that is as far away from sheer as possible. I also prefer slub/oversized fit as my tummy is kind of big, and I also have a long torso so I need something on the longer side.\n\nI don't mind getting spendy if it mwans I can get my perfect white tee.\n\nI just bought some t-shirts from Everlane and while the design and fit is right, the material is thinner than I like. (They also seem like they might fall apart if I don't treat them delicately.) And, of the more heavyweight/higher quality shirts I can find, they have all this ugly branding, embroidery, details etc. I don't want.\n\nI am in Nevada.\n"
},
{
"query": "FFA how do you feel about high heeled sneakers? I love the causal look of sneakers and the feeling of heels (I know, I know) But I wonder, are they too juvenile (I'm 19 btw) If you like them what are some good brands?\nSneaker Heels?",
"chosen": "I'm a big fan. But I also really like kpop, and that may have influenced my fashion sense. I'm 20 and own one pair. :)\n",
"rejected": "I hate sneaker heals with a burning fiery passion and I'm certainly not alone in this. Ymmv.\n"
},
{
"query": "I don't have a lot of professional clothing, so I think I need to break down and buy a couple of pieces. I will be gone about 3 weeks, but for 10 of those days I will be doing interviews.\nI would like to travel light. \n\nHow do people feel about black jeans for an interview? \nI think I need to pick up a pair of black dress pants, but I would love to have jeans so I can continue to wear them throughout the trip. \n\nDoes anyone have any advice on a professional looking flat that has good support?\n\nApologies if I am breaking the rules by posting on the wrong day - I leave this weekend!\nTravelling to Europe for 10 days of interviews.",
"chosen": "Instead of jeans, can you find non-denim black pants? I just think it reads more professional. Ideally you should get a quick-drying, no-iron fabric, so you can rinse them out and wear them the next day.\n\nWhere are you going? Europe is a diverse place, maybe my advice is too specific (I'm in The Netherlands).\n",
"rejected": "What kind of positions are you interviewing for?\n"
},
{
"query": "Hi all,\n\nI'm starting student teaching in less than a month in high school. Then in September I will be starting full time work as a biology teacher. This is my first real job and I do not have much of a professional wardrobe. Additionally, I've been told I look very young and that kids will not take me seriously. What outfits/hairstyles/makeup can I wear/do to make myself look older? (I'm 5'3', 130 lbs- long hair with red tips) TIA.\nNew biology teacher here- 21 years old. Need urgent fashion advice!",
"chosen": "Hello new teacher! I teach elementary school and while our dress code for the younger grades is much more flexible, it's important to be comfortable throughout the day. I highly suggest nicer pants (no jeans at first) and a blouse. Madewell and J. Crew offer teacher discounts (15% i think) if you can swing their prices. I am also really short and young looking and what has helped me more than clothes is projecting an air of confidence, even if you don't feel it inside.\nmore practically, i would look for dress pants, blouses, and cardigans. no t-shirts (at first), no sneakers, nothing super trendy. I would also suggest wearing super modest shit at first, or at least until you feel comfortable. Shoes are really important. I wear birks, but I can get away with it because I work at a failing title 1 school. Other good shoes with great support are danskos, frye, good quality stuff like that. Toms are also really good too. hit me up if you need more suggestions or want to see my dressed.so or have any other questions! I love teaching, it is the best job in the world!\n",
"rejected": "The guides that you have been linked will help with the basics but here are a few other suggestions:\n\n1. Avoid trendy makeup. You need to wear some (it will help you look older) but keep it simple and polished and avoid any obvious styles that the students will be wearing.\n\n2. Avoid any really 'young' feeling clothes- miniskirts, jeans, graphic t-shirts and also young details- fringing, glitter/rhinestones, overly cutesy patterns etc. \n\n3. Stick to muted colour pallettes- they are going to make you seem more professional\n\n5. Your shoe choice is important, it will say a lot if they are too casual. Avoid sneakers. I assume you need flat, close toed shoes for biology labs so maybe try some oxfords? \n\n6. I would suggest trying out a few hairstyles to see what makes you look older and more professional- for some people that might be sleek buns, and for others that might be something with your hair mostly down. Either way- try to keep it looking sleek (messy braids are for the students)\n\n7. Blazers are your friend. \n\n8. Confidence is key. You could do all of the things I said not to do and provided you act professional and confident you might get away with it. Wear clothing you are comfortable in and make sure you are conveying confidence in your body language (if you need to- fake it until you make it). \n\nGood luck! I am sure you will do great!\n"
},
{
"query": "Hi all!\n\nSo I just picked up Destiny 2 and I'm loving it so far. But there are some parts which are on the creepier side (specifically in the second area when you're wandering the pipes and thralls pop out). I've never been good with horror movies or scary games or whatnot but I would hate to stop playing it because of just that.\n\nHow do you guys deal with those moments?\n\nAnd on a side note, does the game get better or worse in terms of the scary aspect?\nhard time playing scarier parts of games?",
"chosen": "You can also look up some let’s play videos before you play yourself. That way you know what to expect and you become desensitized.\n",
"rejected": "I usually have some music playing in the background, helps you with the scary sounds. \n\nIn terms of the game, IMO only Titan is the scary one because of the Hive. Taken might be a little scary, but not as creepy as the Hive enemies.\n\nIf you're on PS4 we could also play together.\n"
},
{
"query": "Even though online shopping has made things easier, some of FFA's favorite stores - Everlane, J.Crew, Madewell, GAP and Uniqlo among others - aren't as accessible in other parts of the world as they are in the US.\n\nSo, to my fellow non-American FFAers: where do you guys like to shop? Do you still shop at the same stores mentioned above, or are there other brands you prefer?\n\nPersonally, I've been wanting to buy some items from J.Crew but I'm not a fan of online shopping, especially at a higher price range. I'm hoping they'll open up some stores in Europe soon, even though I don't see it happening, what with their declining sales and all.\nNon-American FFAers, where do you shop?",
"chosen": "Another Canadian here. I'd say about 60% of my clothing is thrift/consignment, 10% is Costco (legit, they have some nice stuff), and the rest is other clothing stores.\n\nI actually get all my work pants from Reitmans, since they're one of the only stores that carries 34'' inseams in store. I like Eddie Bauer, too, and Banana Republic for the odd basic. But if I'm looking to augment my work wardrobe, I'll go consignment first. I've picked up the most interesting things from there.\n",
"rejected": "I quite like Mango, COS and Weekday. & other stories is nice as well but I tend to find more stuff at COS. I like Zara's designs but I find the stuff mostly overpriced for its quality. \n\nBut I hate the hassle of actually going into the city to go shopping and buy most of my stuff online from Zalando and sometimes Asos. I also have anxiety issues about going into stores I don't know so I have a hard time finding out about new stores. Maybe there's a lot I've been missing out on.\n\nI do really wish they'd open a second German Uniqlo in Hamburg though.\n"
},
{
"query": "Hey everyone <3\n\nI bought elden ring a few days ago (following the hype I’ve seen here and everywhere else for the game) and I am struggling hard :(\n\nI don’t seem to “get” into the game and I can’t really understand the hype? I feel so lost in the vast open world and every enemy (even the ones at the ruins in the beginning) feels so difficult to play against, makes me feel really self conscious as a gamer …\n\nI also really miss companions and npcs - the world is so beautiful but also so hollow and lonely \n\nSorry to rant I am just a little sad because I really want to like the game but I feel it’s giving me nothing 🙆🏼♀️\n\n\nPs sorry for the weird language, I am not a native English speaker ✌️\nI can’t get into elden ring and it makes me sad :(",
"chosen": "What archetype did you choose when you made your character?\n\nI only ask because your description of how you feel about Elden Ring exactly matches how I felt when I started playing Bloodborne;\n\nIn Bloodborne, I restarted my character to get another starting weapon, and ended up doing much better. The same could be true for you!\n",
"rejected": "I am just sliding in to say that OP’s username is amazing.\n"
},
{
"query": "This thread is for simple style questions that you may have, especially those that don't warrant their own thread. We all want a diversified opinion, so feel free to answer any questions (of which you know the answer).\n\nExample questions: What are your favorite black boots <$250? What should I wear on a date? Are there any good white t-shirts?\nSimple Questions - April 12, 2016",
"chosen": "Can drawstring/elastic waists look fashionable on? I've seen a few pants I really like but the waistband puts me off. Especially when it will be visible.\n",
"rejected": "Do any of you all wear crocs flats? Looking for supportive (and easy to clean) shoes for a temporary job where I'll be on my feet all the time. thanks!\n"
}
] | 4
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0001239776611328125,
"logprob2": -7.25,
"signal": 7.249876022338867
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000017881393432617188,
"logprob2": -5.5,
"signal": 5.499998211860657
}
| -1.749878
| 7
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8502
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[
{
"query": "Interested to see what men think when it comes to the term \"slut shaming\" - how would you define it and do you think it exists? How have you seen it in action?\n\nIf you think it exists, do you think men are shamed for their sexuality in a similar or different way then women?\nWhat are your thoughts on slut shaming?",
"chosen": "Some people are downright hateful towards women who are promiscuous, or even just women who are perceived to be promiscuous, and I think it's fair to be critical of that.\n\nAt the same time, it's pretty common to get accused of slut-shaming just for having a preference against dating promiscuous women, even if you don't express any particular hatred for them or shame them. I think this overuse of the word is wrong and it doesn't get talked about as much as it should on the discussions of slut-shaming.\n",
"rejected": "Slut shaming is just another way to be mad at men who don't want you in my opinion. When I was dating I made it known right away that I don't date whores. There's varying levels of what's normal in terms of promiscuity. A woman in her 30's who's had 20 partners is understandable where as a woman who just turned 21 having 20 partners is a slut.\n\nI don't think slug shaming really exists outside of someone Already having a vendetta against a specific woman.\n"
},
{
"query": "Based on an earlier post where it seems a lot of people feel pressure to be seen as manly. I was wondering what sort of things you guys do just to appear manly.\nWhat do you do to be seen as 'manly' that you wouldn't do otherwise?",
"chosen": "I try not to be touchy with my friends. I show my love through physical contact so I hug my friends but I don't hug them as much as I would like cause I don't wanna creep them out.\n",
"rejected": "I sold my Mazda Miata.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm almost middle aged so I've obviously bought a new car before. But, I have a modest budget now (~$30k) and there is sooooo much information out there that I can't figure out where to start.\n\nI have a few requirements. Good fuel economony. Good reliability. Decent towing capacity. All wheel drive. Prefer a compact SUV/crossover. That's it.\n\nFrick! Help a brother (from Canada) out!\nGuys, seriously... how do you buy a car?!?",
"chosen": "A Subaru Forester XT would be a great fit for you. Fuel economy is a little low at 23/27 but it checks all your boxes right near your budget of 30k. \n\nAlso, Subarus *have* to be maintained to the suggestions of the manual, but if you do then you'll easily get 200k miles from one. \n\nAnd, if for whatever reason you're not fond of Subarus the GT CX-5 AWD from Mazda is also great. You'd add 500lbs of towing capacity and a couple extra MPG butttt Mazdas are prone to rusting, doubly so if your roads are salted which is why I would recommend the Subaru over it.\n",
"rejected": "buy a used car. why spend 30k on a depreciating asset?\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm 19 and would rather just go to a bar but that's not possible legally. I'm not on campus until the end of this month either. Are there any places I'm more likely to meet single girls? Ive had bad luck and always seem to meet girls involved with someone or in a relationship\nAre there places where I am more likely to meet single girls outside of college or a bar?",
"chosen": "Dancing classes. It's a great way to have fun. You learn to dance, which always impresses girls (well a lot of them). You get used to touching them and being comfortable with their bodies without making it sexual or weird. And most of all, it's a great way to meet and socialize with people. Everyone's out there to have fun and learn to dance. Which creates good opportunities to flirt and practice interacting with women. I was surprised by how many women come to dance classes alone, sometimes ~~their~~ they're single, sometimes their boyfriend's lame and won't join her. Don't always target the pretty girls either. Go for whoever. The other night, I danced with a much older woman and she was really good and fun. This also creates a \"high\" feeling, where you feel good. Plus, other people may notice you just being cool and loving to dance, which makes gives people a better impression of you.\n\nAlso, don't get discouraged if you can't meet the girl that you would like to turn into a gf. Don't go out with the intention of finding a gf. Go out with the intention of having fun and socializing. When you meet a girl you find interesting, make a move.\n",
"rejected": "Tinder.\n"
},
{
"query": "you know how girls care a lot about a guy they like to be treating their friends well and getting along well with their girlfriends, and they get excited when their friends tell them they like the guy.\n\ndo guys care about this? if a girl you like gets along with your buddies and they like the girl, is this necessarily a plus for you? Do you care about the opinions that your friends have about the girl?\nguys do you value when a girl gets along with your buddies?",
"chosen": "Well of course. I'd have a very hard time being with someone that couldn't stand being around my friends and vice-versa.\n",
"rejected": "To a point...\n\nThey can get along *too* well.\n"
},
{
"query": "Easy ways to break the ice, have fun, and get to know each other. i.e., taking turns saying a word and asking the person you're with to say the first thing they think of.\n\nI'll compile the list as they come in:\n\n1. Would You Rather\n\n2. \"Harambe\"\n\nScrew it, I'm going over to AskWomen.\nWhat are your favorite conversation games when you're out on a date?",
"chosen": "Two I learned from friends taking Improv:\n\nThe Wrong Answer game: You ask them a question and they have to give you the wrong answer. Sounds dumb, but rapid fire question like \"What brand is your shirt\" can bring out some hilarious creativity if they're the right type of girl.\n\nMindMeld: Both count to three, then both of you blurt out a word (example: you say Hat, she says Army). You read each others nonverbals and do it again with the goal to converge on the same word. So next time you might both say \"Helmet\". Yay! Again, not for all women.\n",
"rejected": "Harambe, if they don't understand you dump em\n"
},
{
"query": "Hey AskMen,\n\nI could use some help with my sex life. I'm in my mid 30's and have had issues in the last year or so going from caressing/cuddling to initiating sex. I consider myself more of a quiet, reserved type. I don't have issues carrying on with conversation, making eye contact, and communicating interest... but consent is important to me and i feel like i need to ask directly if what i am doing to my partner is okay/acceptable. I must have a problem in the delivery because the last few times I've had a girl in my bed and have asked if she wanted to take it any further, the rhythm of the encounter changes... its like the women I'm attracting/going for want to be taken control of, or want to feel some kind of ?pressure/domination?. I don't know how to show that more dominant side of me. I just want to have fun, and know that both of us are equally enjoying ourselves. What can i do to be more dominant in the bedroom while still being sensitive to consent and understanding her needs? I'm open to all opinions. \n\nThanks guys/gals.\nHow can I be more dominant when initiating sex?",
"chosen": "Breathe heavy through your nostrils and let her know you're not fucking around.\n",
"rejected": "The guy I’m seeing is heavy into kink but I found it interesting how he’s the first partner that’s ever really directly asked my consent with stuff. We hadn’t been physical other than a goodnight kiss and were hanging out on the couch. He put his arm around me, rubbed my low back for a sec, then pulled back and asked “is it okay if I do this?” Consent and boundaries are really important to him and he has continued to check in with me.\n\nI actually find it really endearing, in a way.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm trying to ask this is a non offensive way and when I say time into their appearance I do not mean anything drastic but just small things. I know a lot of guys who could benefit from working out more, eating healthy, washing their face, getting a decent haircut, whitening their teeth or something along those lines. I want to tell my guy friends this but not in a mean way.\nWhy do so many guys talk to me about not being able to get a girl yet never think to put any time into their appearance?",
"chosen": "Guys are usually pretty good with constructive criticism. I have pushed my guy friends' hair back many a times only to have them start wearing it like that.\n",
"rejected": "Misogynistic mid-30's male with poor hygiene seeks rich, 18 year old, bisexual pornstar that can suck a golf ball through a water hose.\n"
},
{
"query": "Pretty much what the title says. He’s 51 and seeing a psychologist. There are times when he’s actively responding and now he seems to have dropped off the grid. \n\nI want to understand and I really want to be there for him but I’m unsure of how to do it and at the same\ntime, keep my own insecurities at bay. Love this man a lot.\nHow can I show support to someone who has depression?",
"chosen": "So as a man that suffered situational depression for a few years I really hated it when my dad (my best friend in the world) would just show up unannounced at my door to spend 30 minutes to chat. \n\nLooking back. That's exactly what you do with a depressed person. It actually lifts their day up a bit. Even if on the surface they seem to know or think they hate it because \"your just doing this because I'm depressed\" yes I am... because it fucking works.\n",
"rejected": "I'd like a hug and a sympathetic ear sometimes. It may be irrational ramblings but it helps to get it out in the open.\n"
},
{
"query": "Asking for ideas because most of my former hobbies aren't stimulating anymore and I'd like to try something new.\nWhat are your cheap hobbies (that are fun to do alone)?",
"chosen": "Getting into old(er) gaming. You can buy old consoles like a Nintend DS or a Playstation 2 for around £20 second hand and many games are dirt cheap.\n",
"rejected": "Jump rope! I love exercising so on the days I don't feel like going to the gym I'll just throw on an album or podcast in the backyard and jump rope for an hour or so\n"
},
{
"query": "Well, it's the end of the year and I've been thinking about some goals for the next year. Many of my goals for a new year usually are about learning something new (playing the guitar has been around for a while) or a new habit to acquire that would be beneficial for me (such as exercising and eating healthy food).\n\nSomething I have been thinking about is how we spent hundreds and hundreds of hours doing some activities that are not always THAT worthy, such as playing games or watching TV shows. Yes, this is entertainment and it's a time that's not wasted, since you end up having fun and learning a thing or two in the process. But the thing is, wouldn't you have more fun doing other stuff too?\n\nThe idea is to find stuff that could be made into a New Year's goal. Something that could be practiced a few minutes everyday or a few times a week that would lead to a considerable development by the end of the year.\n\nI'd really like your thoughts on some skills or habits that you spent some time on and, after a while, you realized how well-spent that time was.\nWhat activities and hobbies do you think are worth spending hundreds of hours on?",
"chosen": "cars. cars. cars. I've spent god knows how many hours on my car. I just like the feeling of taking something pretty confusing and making it work. \n\nI'm putting a Chevy engine in a Toyota car the way it was never intended to be.\n",
"rejected": "Playing guitar\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm feeling like that now, like all odds are against me. I've pulled through before, but I'd love to hear some of your stories. A little extra motivation for us all.\nAskmen of Reddit: I would love to read some uplifting stuff, when was the last time the odds were completely against you but you still somehow succeeded?",
"chosen": "2 years ago, I was extremely sad all the time, I cried every day and felt worthless and undeserving of love. I even considered ending my life.\n\nNow, I got my degree, I'm working two jobs that I love and several of my students told me they want me to give them their diploma at the end-of-school ceremony. I still cry sometimes, tears of joy.\n",
"rejected": "In everything I do. I just like to prove people wrong. That drives me through life\n"
},
{
"query": "In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.\n\nI know it’s just a stereotype that men constantly want sex and women always turn it down. However, am I doing something wrong?\n\nI’m fine with a 2-3 times a week. We have needs.\nMen, how often do you want to have sex?",
"chosen": "maybe 1 once a month if they want to\n",
"rejected": "*In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.*\n\n*However, am I doing something wrong?*\n\nAre you initiating the sex, or are you just waiting for him to take the lead and when he doesn't you assume he doesn't want to have sex? It's quite possible he did want more sex but thought you didn't, so he didn't bother trying.\n\nLikewise, guys will sometimes avoid it if they're stressed, not feeling great, etc. Not necessarily because they don't want it, but because they're worried they won't be able to perform and it'll be very embarrassing.\n"
}
] | 8
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00029754638671875,
"logprob2": -6,
"signal": 5.999702453613281
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000017881393432617188,
"logprob2": -5,
"signal": 4.999998211860657
}
| -0.999704
| 4
|
127562
|
[
{
"query": "It’s so easy dressing as a man. Tshirt of any solid color, graphic tee maybe and blue jeans or shorts. Dressed it up with a button up in plaid. \n\nIt’s so much harder with women’s clothes! Do I want to be sexy, pretty, comfortable, casual, super feminine, dress, pants, skirt...? There are tube tops, spaghetti straps, thick straps, sleeveless, halter, turtleneck, cap sleeves, short sleeve, and a new sleeve length every 2”. While a full sleeve length even has many different ends to it. So many different combinations of bottoms, tops, shoe styles, ahhh!! \n\nIt’s a bit overwhelming sometimes. I haven’t found my style I like and simply can’t buy enough clothes to figure it out. I sometimes don’t know where to start and buy nothing at all. \n\nI frequently buy things and then later realize it goes with nothing else I wear and don’t know what else to match it with. \n\nI guess it’s hard because I didn’t have my youth and peers to guide me. But still, it’s rather difficult to buy and dress in women’s clothing, and props to all you women out there. You make it look so effortless. 👏\nCrossdressing has given me a new appreciation for what women have to deal with.",
"chosen": "Pro tip that my former fashion buyer mom taught me: never buy a single piece of clothing, only ever buy an outfit. That doesn’t necessarily mean buy a whole new outfit on your shopping trip but if you find a single piece you love, don’t buy it unless you already own something to pair it with or can buy something in the store to match it with. This minimizes clothing waste and ensures that you will actually utilize all of your clothing.\n\nIt definitely helps keep me from impulse buying just because a particular piece looks fun; there’s no point in buying it if there’s nothing to pair it with/I don’t actually end up wearing it.\n",
"rejected": "This is how you become a fashionista 😃 my friends & family never know what to expect from me...but they know it'll be interesting. My looks fluctuate between homeless & going to Jimi Hendrix's funeral 😉 I dress a little goth, rockabilly, hippie, classy, comfy, etc. I like to make fashion statements depending on how I feel. I like Poshmark, I buy tons of clothes at a cheaper price & if it doesn't work, I resell it & try again. ❤\n"
},
{
"query": "How can I get that beautiful, floaty, eternally-spring aesthetic without it looking like cosplay?\nLike the Starks thread, how can I dress like the Tyrells of Highgarden?",
"chosen": "I thought of Florence Welch when i read your post.\n",
"rejected": "Which one? Lady Oleanna and Margery have very different looks and wear very different amounts of fabric lol.\n"
},
{
"query": "I mean, who doesn't love the 90's? Show off some nostalgic looks. Either how you actually dressed in the 90's or some very 90's trends and themes.\n\n---\n\nThis is the announcement thread. Submissions thread will be posted on Tuesday.\nTheme WAYWT - I love the 90's!",
"chosen": "This makes me wish I owned a pair of jelly sandals....\n",
"rejected": "brb, let me find my magenta leggings and matching sweatshirt.\n"
},
{
"query": "What struck me was the lore, the direness of the world, and your role within it. It was like Bioshock, Deus Ex, and Vermintide all got together to wreak havoc!\nI just started Dishonored yesterday and was immediately obsessed with the universe. What games had a universe that sucked you in right off the bat and why?",
"chosen": "Dragon Age and The Elder Scrolls Online. The lore in these games is so in-depth and interesting, plus I’m a sucker for fantasy\n",
"rejected": "Ah I’m so happy for you discovering Dishonored! That series definitely sucked me in like it has you! As someone else said, wait until the second one, gets even better!\n\nOtherwise, the best game I remember for this was Fable 2, was enchanted straight away. In more recent years, fell in love with the Last Guardian. I know for some, the latter is really slow to start, but I was quite quickly captivated by the story and the scenery.\n"
},
{
"query": "Hi everyone!\n\nI plan on re organizing my closet this weekend and I am looking for tips outside of the capsule closet trend for organizing a closet. \n\nI tend to organize via colors but what tricks/tips have helped you out majorly when it comes to organizing your closet/keeping it organized?\nCloset Organizing Tips",
"chosen": "I dont organize by colour, but by item. All sweaters together, all tees together, etc. because my thought process starts with items, not colours: It's cold outside, so i should get a sweater, then once i have a sweater, i go see which shirt would go well with it, then which pants. I don't think \" I want something blue, let's see which blue thing I want\".\n",
"rejected": "I organize by item and then color. My basic wardrobe is black, gray, white or Ivory and all blues. I like by item, because I can easily see the choices when I want something; I like by color because... aesthetics. So...the obsessive part is that the first section is light to dark and the next is dark to light and so on. It makes the color runs longer and distracts me less. \nIt sounds crazy now that I am trying to explain! Lol\n"
},
{
"query": "To me transsexual is a stupid word. It suggests sexuality when it has nothing to do with it. My brother just used it and I feel so ugh.\nDoes hearing transsexual disturb you?",
"chosen": "Facepalm. Transitioning brings thousands of issues with it. I transition, because I feel like a woman since I was 5. Nothing else. I also want to be treated like Sarah and no one else. Period.\n",
"rejected": "No, not at all. First of all, \"transsexual\" does not have anything to do with sex or sexuality, it refers to *biological* sex! To that end, quite literally what I am doing is changing my biological sex. Second, \"transsexual\" was the preferred terminology until ten years ago or so. Growing up in the 90s, it was how I thought about myself.\n"
},
{
"query": "Welcome to FFA Group Therapy. In this thread you can talk about whatever you want: life, style, work, relationships, etc. Feel free to vent, share pet photos, or just generally scream into the void.\n\nIf you're new to the community, please don't be shy! Say hello and introduce yourself. And if you've been here for a while, welcome our newer subscribers into the fold. =)\n\n# Note: Comment rules still apply, don't be a dick.\nGeneral Discussion - October 18, 2022",
"chosen": "My boyfriend is planning to take a snowboarding trip in late winter and I’m trying to decide what store to buy him a gift certificate to (in Canada). I know he has all of the actual snowboarding necessities, but I figured he hasn’t been in a while and might enjoy new accessories, etc. so I was trying to find a store that had stuff for being out in the winter but also maybe just stuff he could buy for the general outdoors(if that makes sense??) anyways, I’m torn between MEC, Atmosphere and Cabela’s lol.\n",
"rejected": "I want to buy a pair of knee high boots so bad, but I have thick calves! Nothing fits me! I needed to rant somewhere.....\n\nBTW, what's a no Brainer Halloween costume? I skip costumes every office party, but this year we have to dress up. I'm losing weight now (down almost 5kg, yay) so don't exactly want to buy clothes.\n"
},
{
"query": "Welcome to FFA Group Therapy. In this thread you can talk about whatever you want: life, style, work, relationships, etc. Feel free to vent, share pet photos, or just generally scream into the void.\n\nIf you're new to the community, please don't be shy! Say hello and introduce yourself. And if you've been here for a while, welcome our newer subscribers into the fold. =)\n\nNote: Comment rules still apply, don't be a dick.\n---\nGeneral Discussion - March 22, 2019",
"chosen": "So my husband and I started doing our own version of low carb in January (fruit, lentils, beans and chickpeas are fine in moderation) and I'm lacking a little inspiration for recipes. We cook the majority of our food at home and I'm feeling a bit burned out. I steal recipes from Blue Apron sometimes but a lot of their stuff starts to have the same flavor profile after a while. Does anyone have ideas? \n\nWe're going to Japan for a few weeks and that'll probably reset me on cooking, but I gotta get through the next 2 weeks!\n",
"rejected": "Who is watching the new Queer Eye? Wasn't loving episode one but by episode three I was hooked by those BBQ sisters!! Tears at the dentist part.\n\nI've also been watching Derry Girls and Fleabag which are both killer comedies.\n"
},
{
"query": "This thread is for simple style questions that you may have, especially those that don't warrant their own thread. We all want a diversified opinion, so feel free to answer any questions (of which you know the answer).\n\nExample questions: What are your favorite black boots <$250? What should I wear on a date? Are there any good white t-shirts?\nSimple Questions - November 24, 2015",
"chosen": "I'm struggling to find cute tailored blouses and tops. Preferably higher quality fabrics like silks, lace etc. Tailored, as in, not box-shaped which seems to be everywhere right now, something with darts at the waist. In an ideal world with sleeves and a low neck/V. Any suggestions?\n",
"rejected": "I don't even know where to start.\n\nI've been trying to revamp my wardrobe for the past 6 months and I feel like I'm always stuck in the same rut; I but clothes, don't like them a few wears later, get bored, then buy more clothes. Especially with winter coming (like, now), I have no idea what I need/don't need/want. I'm not even sure what my style goals are ): \n\nI need help.\n"
}
] | 6
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0002613067626953125,
"logprob2": -6.375,
"signal": 6.374738693237305
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000019073486328125,
"logprob2": -7.25,
"signal": 7.249998092651367
}
| 0.875259
| 2
|
7387
|
[
{
"query": "I'm 6'1 and I'm sometimes jealous how jacked short dudes get at much lighter weights and how much easier advanced gymnastics/calisthenics moves are for them. Also, they fill out shirts/clothing nicer. Also, they can lift more cuz their arms/legs have to go shorter distances.\nTall dudes (>6'0), what are advantages short dudes have that they don't realize?",
"chosen": "I hit my head on everything. I have glued a tennis ball to a particularly sharp corner of my basement ceiling. \n\nPublic seating anywhere is horrible. I will only do the VIP thing in theaters where I can reserve a loveseat. Otherwise my knees are grinding against the chair in front of me. Also the train to work ... no room. People always get mad at me but it's not like I can make my legs shorter. And of course airlines, but who needs to rehash that. \n\nLastly ... pants. Motherfucking pants. Evidently I'm an odd size.\n",
"rejected": "Honestly, if it weren't for women not liking short guys, being short is the shit.\n"
},
{
"query": "I've noticed that for a while, male role models have become rather... stupid. It might have started with Al Bundy and Homer Simpson and gone downhill from there.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nIt leaves me wondering, what fictional male role models do you have?\n\n&#x200B;\n\nI don't have any male role models myself but, a friend of mine has Homer Simpson as a role model.\nWhat fictional male role models do you have?",
"chosen": "Well sitcoms are not the best place to find role models, as they're supposed to be stupid and unrespected. For example, every character on The Big Bang Theory.\n\nPersonally I find very few role models that I can actually look up to. But I'll name a few and how they've impacted me;\n\n* Rand Al'thor, reminding me to work hard to achieve my goals.\n* Matrim Cauthon, reminding me to stay humble even when being narcissistic.\n* Iron Man, for making me excited for engineering\n* Ganoes Paran, for showing me how to just take what life throws at me and keep going.\n* Thom Merlin, teaching me that even an old ostracized man can care deeply for others.\n",
"rejected": "Jack O'Neill\n\nJean-Luc Picard\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm 26M. And I have a lot of insecurities in both my personal and professional life. I do not feel like I'm in the right place for a relationship, but that doesn't stop me from craving companionship. I think having a meaningful relationship with a woman is the most fulfilling thing you can experience as a man. I don't believe men can truly go their own way and feel happy. I haven't done much meeting anyone new. That's my fault. And I'm also getting tired of waiting for the right person to just show up. I'm worried I might still be alone at age 30, 35. I look at my own parents and they got married at age 28. That is only 2 years away. Being 30 is only 4 years away. Considering the last 4 years went by in a blink of an eye, it's a very real possibility. And it scares me. How do you stop craving companionship or stop worrying about being single well into your 30s and 40s?\nMen, how do you deal with the possibility you might be single forever?",
"chosen": "I'm 35 and I have little hope for a LTR. Been single for 7 years and don't put myself out there much. Developed a drinking problem and put on some weight, which doesn't really help. I need a spark to motivate me to get back into shape and be more positive. I'm okay with being single because I do enjoy the freedom. I miss sex and a woman's perspective though.\n\nWith all that said, I feel like living life as it plays out is the best thing for anyone. Stick with the hand you're dealt.\n",
"rejected": "Dunno if this helps, but I may have a slightly different perspective. My boyfriend met me when we were 28, and he was almost 29. He was a pretty introverted guy and had never gone on a date or kissed anyone. He took a long look at his life and decided that he would prioritize dating. For a year, he combed over online dating profiles an hour a day, carefully looked for people he felt he had things in common with, and crafted well thought-out messages. I really liked his message, and soon after we went on one of those laughter filled dates where the restaurant had to ask us to leave 5 hours later because they wanted to close up. I tried to kiss him goodbye, but he winked and made me wait til the next date! Two years later, and we are moving in together and we are completely in love. \n\nI think what changed for him was that he made dating a priority. For me, too, I was taking online dating seriously, and going on dud dates with various people, to force myself not to judge too quickly just from a profile. From this, my advice would be, first, make dating a priority. It's not the most romantic, but who you end up with will influence the rest of your life just as much as your career will. So put time and energy into it - go on \"interviews\" even for places you think might not be a fit at first, work on your \"resume\", make sure you \"network\" or at least spend time on those job hunting sites, etc. I do not believe at all that \"it will happen when you're not looking.\"\n\nMy second advice is to try to take an objective perspective to the process. As I went on dates, I took notes on what sorts of people liked me, and who I was drawn to, to make sure I had realistic expectations and healthy desires. Don't let rejections get you down about yourself or become bitter about women - realize this is all important to finding your niche. Neither my boyfriend nor I changed ourselves, went to the gym, became more outgoing, etc to find each other. You have to assess what sort of people you can draw, and then you can adjust accordingly if \n"
},
{
"query": "No unusual circumstances, my girlfriend said I'm going to bed early - about an hour earlier than usual, 9pm instead of 10pm.\n\nI thought to myself - oh she must be tired, I'll be considerate and leave her be for a while to let her get some undisturbed sleep.\n\nUpon coming to bed she was quite angry with me as it turned out she wanted some together time - I didn't pick this up however to which she responded \"how long have we been living together?\" (a year is the answer...).\n\nSo I'm wondering, when did \"I'm going to bed\" become a hidden meaning for, '...and I want you to come too because I feel we need some connection time'?\nWhen your partner says 'I'm going to bed' earlier than usual - what do you think to do?",
"chosen": "My girlfriend goes to bed early? \"Sure babe, I'll keep it down. See you in the morning\"\n\nIf she wants something, she's got a Masters in engineering. She's smart enough to know how to let me know.\n\nI've never seen a healthy relationship where stuff like this happens. Let your girl know this behavior is **not** ok.\n",
"rejected": "As a female, I am as baffled by women who do this as men are. \n\nI have always been a big proponent of communicating what I'm feeling, even if it's difficult or unpleasant, because I am adult and know that unless I do so, my SO won't know.\n\nSorry this happened to you OP but hopefully you can have a conversation with your gf and ask her why she didn't just flat out let you know she wanted some time together.\n"
},
{
"query": "Some people have really strange ideas about what is important when choosing a bf/gf.\n\nSeveral women I was on a date with were surprised I didn't care what kind of beer they drank or if they drank at all. How is this in any way important? Could these other guys only afford one case of beer at home and had to make sure a potential mate would drink the same stuff they liked?\n\nAnother guy said he stopped talking to a someone because she had never heard of a certain musician.\n\nWhat is the most trivial thing you have heard of for not wanting to date someone?\nWhat is the silliest reason you have heard for not dating someone?",
"chosen": "Women refusing to date men under 6'0. It's not a \"height preference\", it's shallow. It's also hypocritical since women shame men for being shallow about height\n",
"rejected": "My friend once rejected a guy because he “smelled like hay” 🤷🏻♀️\n"
},
{
"query": "I was thinking flowers or something like that. Do men enjoy receiving flowers?\nMy boyfriend's birthday is this weekend and I'd like to send him a surprise at work. Any ideas?",
"chosen": "I deliver flowers for a living. I've done it for about a year now, and I can count on one hand the amount of times that I've delivered flowers to a male that wasn't a sympathy arrangement (death in the family), or they were in the hospital. The ones that weren't sympathy or a get well arangment were very awkward, and the guy usually seemed like \"uhhh *really*?\". \n\n\nI have delivered gift baskets to guys before, and they were much happier getting that than flowers.\n\nBesides I can just imagine the kind of crap that would be said in some work environments for getting flowers.\n",
"rejected": "Personally, I love to get flowers. (Well, at least in theory, it's never happened in real life...) If I got flowers at work, I'd put them on my desk and brag to everyone who stuck their head in my office that they were a birthday present from my girlfriend, I don't care how \"unmanly\" it is.\n"
},
{
"query": "For example, do you think European guys approach things like friends with benefits or sex on the first date or one night stands the same way that American guys do?\nEuropean male redditors, do you think you view sex (hooking up, making moves on girls, etc.) the same way that American guys do? Sweeping generalizations aside, what personal anecdotal evidence have you observed?",
"chosen": "As far as I can tell, here in the UK the dating world doesn't exist. I've asked everyone I know and not one has said they've gone out on a date with someone they didn't already know and would find it really weird to do so. Relationships start from mutual friends hanging around each other, at least in my age group.\n",
"rejected": "Needing to psyche oneself up before talking to a woman. This entire cultural thing about one-liners. I understand some might not be comfortable just striking a conversation so I don't really care about the psyching-up ritual but all those pick up lines and game tactics just seem so stupid and adolescent. Alpha and Beta dogmas seem like too much energy being wasted on trying to explain failures or accomplishments. I don't understand why guys need to waste their time trying all these tricks. If you want something, you go up and take it with some charm.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm quite concerned, as I don't know what the standard way to handle this is. Do I wait for her to reach out about returning those? Or do I ask myself? Or are they lost forever and I need to invest in new ones?\nI just had my first serious break-up, what happens to my hoodies?",
"chosen": "Depends on entirely how much of a bitch she is. My ex burnt half my stuff at a park 5 minutes away where she knew I'd find it. She set my socks on fire man. My fluffy socks!\n",
"rejected": "You can ask her to return it (the sooner, the better. If she's hurt, she might throw it away), or leave it with her as something to remember you by.\n\nUp to you, OP.\n\nI'm sorry about your break up. I hope you're holding up okay.\n"
},
{
"query": "I am about to renew my contract with Verizon. I am torn between what phone to buy, so I thought I would see what you guys have to say about your phones and their features.\nWhat do you like about your smartphone?",
"chosen": "Phone: Lumia 930\n\nLike: OneDrive, battery, processing power, robust build, camera and OLED screen. \n\nDislike: Cortana isn't smart enough. Apps lack in specific things and lack of apps for specific things.\n",
"rejected": "My galaxy s6 edge has a huge screen which makes watching porn a much greater experience\n"
},
{
"query": "I mean she's never asked me that before, is this a normal thing for boyfriends to do? I'm scared.\nMy girlfriend has asked me to wax her asshole, what do I do men?",
"chosen": "How about waxing her asshole?\n",
"rejected": "What is it with people here expecting anal just because someone wants to wax their butthole? \n\nWhat if she just doesn't want her ass to be hairy and would like someone she trusts enough to be intimate with to help her out? Have you tried waxing or shaving your butthole? It's tedious as hell. \n\nGrow the fuck up people.\n"
}
] | 6
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0001239776611328125,
"logprob2": -7,
"signal": 6.999876022338867
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00010919570922851562,
"logprob2": -7.25,
"signal": 7.2498908042907715
}
| 0.250015
| 3
|
6045
|
[
{
"query": "I have two coworkers who whisper back and forth all day long and it drives me ***crazy*** (for no logical reason, I might add). What are your office pet peeves?\nWhat are your office pet peeves?",
"chosen": "Using nail clippers. Do that at home!\n",
"rejected": "People who don't clean up the blood from the floor and you step in it. Don't they know how to use a mop?\n"
},
{
"query": "Obviously, this is a very complex subject that can't be answered by a simple hot-take but I'm interested in what you guys have to say.\nWhat is your view on how to stop all these mass shootings in the US?",
"chosen": "Its a statistically insignificant problem but it displays well on TV. \n\nI have a concealed weapons permit and wear a handgun every day. If more people did that a mass shooting attempt would be more like kicking a bees nest.\n\nI wonder what this latest one is. Multiple shooters...\n",
"rejected": "I'm on Joe Rogan's side on this. \n\nThe US doesn't have a gun problem. Though easy access to firearms undoubtedly contributes to the body count (and I don't think that can be argued by any rational person), the problem isn't guns or gun owners.\n\nThe US has a mental health problem. There's a rot at the heart of the society and the economy that's causing people an *incredible* amount of stress. It's causing an uptick in suicides, an uptick in depression, an uptick in mental health issues, and an uptick in these sorts of mass shootings (what is it, about one a week?) and a whole host of other problems. And the usual perpetrators are men. And instead of preventing or fixing the cause, they'd rather treat the symptoms with drugs or they misdiagnose the cause completely. I guaran-damn-tee you that right now there are people figuring out how to leverage this to fit their own personal agenda, whether it's the 'men are the problem' narrative or the 'gun control' narrative or the '#Missou' narrative. \n\nWhat I haven't yet figured out is what the problem *is.* Like most things, there is no one cause and it is likely an accumulation of a host of different and likely unrelated things. Is it a couple of generations of people unequipped to handle the normal, 'shit happens' challenges that life throws at them? Is it an increasing marginalization of at-risk people? Is it an abdication of personal responsibility over raising children and expecting the state to step it? Or is it something more insidious at the heart of this consumer keep-up-with-the-joneses #yolo mentality where if you don't document it and show it off to your friends, it didn't happen? Is it jobs? Is it the police/surveilance state? Or is it that people are stacked on top of each other like rats in a cage? In California, you have the population of CANADA crammed into 425,000 square Kilometres. \n\nOr it could be as innocuous as statistics. The US has 300 MILLION people. In any population that size, you're going to have a subset who's brains don't \n"
},
{
"query": "No serious answers here, just the most ridiculous stuff you can think of, regardless if it's impossible or not.\n(Cross post from askwomen) People who don't have anyone for valentines day, what are you gonna be spending the day doing?",
"chosen": "I'm going fishing on my new boat!\n",
"rejected": "I'm not dating anyone, but 2 of my best friends are dating, and we're seeing Deadpool. I'll be a bit of a third wheel but I'm not phased\n"
},
{
"query": "Actually this is a 2 part question. \n\n1. Do you use the same towel on your face and hair as you do on your body. Or use 2 separate towels?\n\n2. How many times/showers do you use a bath towel dry off with before you wash it/grab a new one? \n\n&#x200B;\n\n&#x200B;\n\nIs there a correct answer to often you should wash your bath towel? When I was younger I would use a new towel every time. I am still not concerned about the cost of my water bill or anything.. but rather it just feels like a wast of water to wash them that much. **I now use one small towel for my face and hair. And one towel for my body**. I use them each for two days and I shower twice a day because of my workout routine .. **Therefore I use each towel 4 times before washing it or grabbing a fresh towel**\n\nI could be way off and be gross. Or I could be washing them more than others.. I don't know. That's why I want your honest answer!\nHow many times/showers do you use a bath towel dry off with before you wash it/grab a new one?",
"chosen": "A week or more. Out of the shower I'm clean, the water it is taking off my body is clean, so exuberant washing is a waste of time and energy.\n",
"rejected": "For #1, I dry my face off, then hair, then the rest of my body. Order is important. I don't want ass cooties on my face. I hang it to dry and in about 24 hours all the ass cooties dissipate so it's okay to use to on my face after the shower the next day.\n\nFor questions #2, I use it until it smell musty. I live in a warm humid climate, so that's less than a week.\n"
},
{
"query": "So. This is going to be weird, but whatever. I met a guy in my DUI class. He sat next to me in our two-person desks, and we just hit it off. He is smart, funny, and absolutely gorgeous. We had sort of the \"funny people\" thing going on in the class. Whenever we had to partner up, he pretended to hit on me all the time and I always adamantly turned him down, but we were always sitting together and talking when we had smoke breaks.\n\nAfter the class, I was so happy to get out I didn't even talk to him. Now I'm worried if I decide to message him, it will seem weird. I know his last name because we had to state our last names during every class. I don't want to just be like \"Oh, hey, I'm stalking you.\"\n\nWhat should I do?!\nI met a dude in a weird place. Is it weird to msg him on FB?",
"chosen": "What do you want from him? To hang out? Then ask him out. It's that simple.\n",
"rejected": "Why would it seem weird? You're a girl. Just add him and strike up conversation online. Absolutely nothing weird about that.\n"
},
{
"query": "For some reason, my wife unplugs the toaster all the time. I'm also thankful for her doing my laundry sometimes, but she hangs some of my shirts up \"backwards\" (I hang them up with the front of the shirt facing me when I step in the closet). What you got?\nMarried men/men who live with their lady- what are some things she does that irks you, but are not worth trying to correct?",
"chosen": "She never put things back where she got them. They are left in the location she used them.\n\nShe will use the last of the toilet paper and not replace it.\n",
"rejected": "My wife does not put things away when she's done with them. Example: she gets things out of the fridge/cabinets/pantry and leaves them on the counter cluttering up my counter space. I hate things cluttering my counters. We've talked and talked and talked about it but she's absent minded about doing it.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm not talking about things that would warn you off, but things they might actually want to put there.\n\nBack when I was online dating I would have loved to see \"If you just message 'hey' I won't respond\" replaced with a short list of suggested conversation topics. It would take some pressure off me and provide me with additional selection data.\nWhat do you wish women would put in their online dating profiles?",
"chosen": "some degree of effort, it seems that majority of women's profiles I saw when I used OKC were either short lists that told me nothing: \"I like music and movies and books\" or else they were generic one line statements that meant nothing \"I love to travel. My kids are my life\"\n",
"rejected": "Positive, open, benign, encouraging statements. \n\nUsually as I'm swiping through the *ultra homogenous* set of pics showing women on horses, or rock climbing, or doing yoga, or at a bar with a sports jersey on ... there's a strange consistency to the words in their profile. It all boils down to, \n\n\"Here's a list of dealbreakers to cull the lot of you ... dirty rabble ... most of you aren't worth my time. Don't message me. I don't want you.\"\n\nIt's very disheartening.\n"
},
{
"query": "This question is of course directed at those who won't date fat women. I'm aware that this does not apply to ALL men. \n\nI get that people are attracted to all different shapes/sizes but it never occurred to me until recently that someone might be instantly repelled by how someone *used* to look.\n\nThere is a tiny scene on the show How I Met Your Mother where one of the characters (Barney) is desperately trying to \"score\" with different women only to *finally* find a hot girl who is interested in him. But she passingly mentions she used to be 300lbs and that's enough to put him off.\n\nI'm nowhere near 300lbs but I did put on weight due to illness last year. Been working my arse off trying to lose it all. Thinking of this scene kind of made me feel like shit.\n\nThen yesterday I saw a thread on a fitness site with a girl asking advice on how to \"break it\" to her boyfriend that she used to be fat.\n\nI want to be clear that I'm not trying to lose weight to look desirable to men. It's for health and the GREAT feeling of going to a clothing shop and being able to wear whatever you want. \n\nBut if the answer to the title question is a resounding \"no\" I'd be interested in the rationale. Fear of loose skin? Fear they'll put the weight back on?\n\ntl;dr If you went on a date with a hot girl and found out she used to be 300lbs, would it put you off? And your reasoning?\nWould you date someone that USED to be fat?",
"chosen": "Barney, the guy who's for comedic purposes a disordered sexist pig of a human being?\n",
"rejected": "Definitely yes. I lost 130 lbs, and being with someone that lost weight as well would be pretty cool because she would understand the struggle.\n"
},
{
"query": "Asking as a man who's into that. Actually, it's not just tomboys; it's more so women who are masculine in general. Having traditionally masculine traits such as physical strength, tallness, leadership, protectiveness, provision, stoicism, being more logical, heroism, courage, being willing to engage in violence or hunt, lack of fear of certain pests (mice, spiders, roaches, etc), and so on and so forth. \n\n&#x200B;\n\n By contrast, feminine traits for the most part don't interest me very much. In fact, submissiveness, pacifism, and physical weakness are the worst feminine traits to me--totally unattractive. \n\n&#x200B;\n\nBasically, my ideal woman is kind of strong, capable, and dare I say--manly. Think Vasquez from *Aliens,* the female soldiers from *Gears of War*, Lady Eivor from *Assassins' Creed: Valhalla*, Revy from *Black Lagoon*, or Misty Briarton from *CoD Zombies Mode*.\nGuys who are attracted to tomboys, why?",
"chosen": "Tomboys tend to be more athletic than the average woman. They also seem to have a a tough outgoing spirit. I like both of these traits.\n",
"rejected": "I was attracted to some tomboys as a child and in my teens. I tend to think of \"Tomboy\" as more of a stage in development some girls go through. Most of the girls who were tomboys in my experience grew up to be physically very feminine/attractive. \n\nI think you will find that most men like women who have masculine traits psychologically, but not physically and being attracted to physically more masculine is more just how some people are wired than a specific set of reasons.\n\nThere is a minority of women who are more masculine, and there is a minority of men who are into that, so it kind of works out nice.\n"
},
{
"query": "How did it happen, what triggered it, what was the aftermath, etc.\nWhat is the most violent thing you've done?",
"chosen": "First things first: I used to do MMA competitively when I was younger. \n\nMost violent thing I've done: I pummeled a man into a coma. \n\nWhy: he was drunk and punched my mother when she told him he was being an annoyance to everyone there. I saw red and beat him bloody. \n\nJust left him lying there and went home with my mom. Later we heard on the news that a man was admitted into the hospital because he was beaten so badly he was in a coma. The police weren't looking for the responsible because witnesses told them it had been in self defense.\n",
"rejected": "It was about 10 pm a few years ago and sitting in the office workspace working overtime. It's a common-area work space with 8 people working on computers in the same room. I'm pissed for a number of reasons but mostly because I'm tired, my team was understaffed, and the report I was typing is not worth the pressure IMO. I also had these noise-cancelling headphones that help me focus when the other ppl in the room (who aren't on my team) feel like doing anything but work. I just want to go home and finish this up as fast as possible.\n\nSuddenly, something hits me in the back of head. I rip off my earphones and whirl around. One of the guys in the office is making a \"whoops\" face and saying he was just trying to get my attention by trying to throw a cliff bar on my desk since my headphones were on, since he was too lazy to stand up and walk the 8 feet to tap me on the shoulder. I snap. I grab the first thing I see (an apple) and throw it full force at this guy. And I just clock him cold right in the temple. I mean just perfect. He cursed up a storm dripping with apple bits.\n\nThe aftermath was that no one tried to bother me impolitely again. And I tried to consistently keep apples on my desk.\n"
},
{
"query": "I feel like this question comes up a lot for women (bin in the bathroom anyone?) but as a woman who lives alone, I'm curious as to what a man might notice in our houses that women don't necessarily think about.\nMen of reddit, what are some things you notice when visiting a woman's home for the first time?",
"chosen": "Cleanliness. \n\nIve seen some stomach turning stuff.\n",
"rejected": "How clean is her bathroom/toilet\n"
},
{
"query": "I love Inside the Fire by Disturbed cause of the intro and guitar riff near the end. System of a Down's Toxicity is wicked; vocals and riffs blow me away.\n\n\nJust looking to expand my music library a bit.\nWhat are your favourite rock or heavy metal songs? Why are they your favourite?",
"chosen": "Rammstein-Sonne. One of the many songs that got me through some tough times.\n",
"rejected": "**\"Stricken\"** - Disturbed - My favorite song of all time. I just love everything about it. The tone, vocals, lyrics, guitar solo, everything.\n\n**\"Unknown Soldier\"** - Breaking Benjamin - I *looove* the main riff, and I'm an absolute sucker for Ben's vocals in the chorus.\n\n**\"Bodom Beach Terror\"** - Children of Bodom - First heard this beauty of a song when I was just 13. The intro is amazing, the roughness is outstanding, the riff in the chorus is phenomenal, and I love the outro.\n\nI could go on, but I'd be here all day. XD Those are just ones that stand out to me.\n"
},
{
"query": "Me: I finished a presentation and immediately went to the nearest gelato shop to load up on instant gratification.\n\nSo, I'm walking up the street, and there's this 5 year old walking with two...guardians. Maybe Ma and Grandma?\n\nHe spots me, and immediately goes, \"CAN I HAVE ICE CREAM!?!?!?!?!?!?\"\n\nHis people look at me, I look at them, and I just go \"Sorry for being a bad influence!\"\n\nThen we all cackled. Then I shoveled more gelato down my gullet.\nWhat's the most hilarious interaction you've had in public recently?",
"chosen": "I run and often I run wearing a kilt. I get an occasional sideways glance but most people either don't notice or pretend not to. Kids notice and say things like \"why is he wearing a dress?\" And the parents hush them and get embarassed.\n\nThe other day asked \"are you a superhero?\" I just put my finger to my mouth like \"sssh don't tell anyone.\" He started excitedly telling his parents \"he IS a super hero.\" \n\nNo idea who he thought I was, he was maybr four or five and may simply have added up big guy and weird outfit (running tights and kilt) and got superhero\n\nIf anyone asks of you're a god or a kid asks if you're a superhero you say yes\n",
"rejected": "I took my son's to the bathroom and they all wanted to use their own urinals. There were only three available so my son turns to this man and tells him to pee faster because other people needed a turn.\n"
},
{
"query": "Lets say you like dancing instead of football, did someone tell you that you were less of a man because you were not into to sports? Do you feel certain pressures that females are unaware of?\nWhat sexist stereotypes or discrimination have you felt because you are a male?",
"chosen": "I'm not homosexual because I don't like one night stands/casual sex...\n",
"rejected": "Worked at a place where I was the only guy, boss lady comes up to me and starts criticising my work, says she doesn't know if I'm bad at multitasking because I'm a guy, yadda yadda. I still can't decide between whether or not she was being sincere or trying to do the whole rise to the challenge shit, but either way I was being paid below minimum wage and didn't give a fuck. That's about the worst direct sexism I've experienced.\n"
}
] | 11
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0002613067626953125,
"logprob2": -8.75,
"signal": 8.749738693237305
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000008225440979003906,
"logprob2": -4.5,
"signal": 4.499991774559021
}
| -4.249747
| 2
|
9646
|
[
{
"query": "We all know ladies look for trash cans in the bathrooms and sheets that aren’t indicative of a 10-year-old, but what are some things you’d like to see in HER house or apartment?\nWhat kinds of green flags would you like to see in a woman’s place?",
"chosen": "If I see a figurine or Lego set I'm instantly turned on.\n",
"rejected": "Honestly, any stuffed animals in the bedroom (as in soft squishy toys, not dead stuffed animals.)\n\nNow that might sound weird but hear me out, I don't care if it's in the bed or on the nightstand or on a shelf, I just feel that an adult that has zero stuffies is either a psycopath or very stuck up about appearing mature. Having a fluffy litte giraffe or rabbit on display for anyone who enters your room at least to me shows that you aren't ashamed of your inner child and is okay with doing silly stuff sometimes.\n"
},
{
"query": "ETA: I previously tried online dating a few years ago, but I had a bad experience. That's why I don't want to try it now.\nHow do find a girlfriend when you work in a male-dominated field, work ridiculous hours, and don't want to try online dating?",
"chosen": "Change one of those things about your situation. Change fields, get better hours, or embrace online dating.\n",
"rejected": "Dude…those are literally all your options. Work, social life or online dating.\n"
},
{
"query": "The prospect of being accused of a sex crime. Whether it's someone of age, or a minor. Every time someone ask me what is something that terrifies, that's my answer. \n\n____\n\n\"I am terrified about being falsely accused of a sex crime.\"\n\n____\nWhat is something that as a man, terrifies you?",
"chosen": "Having a surprise child, rape accusations, wife wanting a divorce out of the blue, a crab will climb into my swim suit at the beach.\n",
"rejected": "Being a bad father.\n"
},
{
"query": "I've been on 5 or 6 dates with a girl, and each time so far I've picked up the tab. No issue there as I'm always happy to starting thing off.\n\nUsually after a few dates the girl will offer to pick up drinks after dinner or split a bill. But the girl I'm currently seeing hasn't once offered. She's super thankful every time, so I don't think she's just in it for the free meal, but I know she makes waaaay more than me, and at some point I'd like to not pay the whole thing.\n\nHow have you guys handled a similar situation?\nWhen do you guys stop paying for every meal & drinks and start splitting? Do you?",
"chosen": "I split/alternate from the first date. I'll pay for the first one but if she doesn't pay/split the second one then we're gonna have a conversation about it.\n",
"rejected": "I pick up the check on the first date, and if she wants to split, I just tell her \"you can get the next one\". Sets up the interest for a second date, makes her feel like I care enough to put my money where my mouth is, and also saves a potential argument over who ate what where split checks often venture (plus, I never carry cash, so what am I supposed to do, give her a chunk off my debit card?)\n"
},
{
"query": "I don't mean the really explicit red flags but things like having different values or being in a different place in your life.\nWhat were reasons for you to stop dating someone?",
"chosen": "If you’re too shy or introverted to not tell me how you feel. I’m not a mind reader and can’t be blamed if I misread your subtle hints. Pro tip:\nIf you like someone, text frequently and offer him a date.\n",
"rejected": "She drank too much, too often. She’d say but we’re young, we’re supposed to - but there’s other fun things to do, and I don’t see the point in drinking at 2pm on a Wednesday. Main reason I broke up with her is because I noticed I started drinking more often too and just thought nah, I don’t want this.\n"
},
{
"query": "First of all, I need an opinion. I have been extremely flirty with a guy at work, and when we are both on break there is a lot of touching and verbal flirtation. He has joked about sex, but also been serious about it. We have been doing this for almost 5 months, but he has made no move to do anything about it aside from admitting to liking me. What the hell is going on?\n\nSecondly, I have been dating another guy this past month because I have gotten sick of fucking waiting on the guy in the first question (leaving out names). But, he is 18. Opinions?\n\nThird, I have a bowel movement problem. Will this cause issues in my relationships? I often spend upwards of 20 minutes a day just shitting. This is usually when I'm on Reddit (but not right now). If I were to handle this issue while my SO was at work or away, would this cause problems?\n3 questions from a 17 year old girl.",
"chosen": "1. He admitted he liked you and I'm guessing you haven't responded in a way that makes him feel like you're reciprocating. Nothing may be going on, just you may need to make the first move. Also how old is the guy?\n\n2. No opinion on it. Enjoy.\n\n3. That's a non issue. Long, laptop shits are awesome. If someone makes an issue of it, don't date them.\n",
"rejected": "I've had girls flirt with me then I would make a move i would get shut down and they would be like \"omg i like you just as a friend\" So the guy is probably afraid of being rejected and you should have just made the first move. Also maybe he doesn't want to make a move while working?\n\nYou are 17 and he is 18? Who cares?\n\nIf someone dumps you because you shit \"too much\" he is a fucking loser that needs to grow up.\n"
},
{
"query": "I was having this discussion with my friends and we came to conclusion that paternity leave should be equal to maternity leave (on the assumption that the couple are married / co-habiting). It would encourage a deeper bond between fathers and their children, it would allow fathers to fully support mothers after birth and in those crucial first weeks/ months. It could help level the playing field in terms of career prospects - i.e. there may be less inclination for women to be overlooked for promotions etc. due to child-bearing age and the possibility of them taking maternity leave. \n\nAs men whats your stance on this? Would you like equal paternity leave?\nI believe paternity leave should be equal to maternity leave in terms of time, pay and rights. What do you think?",
"chosen": "As a male, I strongly disagree. Males do not have the physical burden of carrying a child for 9 months. Males do not have their genitalia split open. Males do not experience post-partum depression. Some time off would be nice but equal time off for unequal work (pregnancy) does not seem fair to me.\n",
"rejected": "Yes. Although the strain on the mother who bears the child is clearly higher, for the social reasons you mentioned above, the leave for both parents should be equal.\n\nAlso, I'm talking about paid leave of at the very least three months. If it's a small company and they can't afford full payment, the government should pay the rest.\n\nBut then, if you live in the US, that's a lot to ask of a country that doesn't even have a public healthcare system. Seriously, you're the highest GDP country in the world, don't you think there's something a bit off?\n"
}
] | 3
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000019073486328125,
"logprob2": -5.75,
"signal": 5.749998092651367
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00023174285888671875,
"logprob2": -5.875,
"signal": 5.874768257141113
}
| 0.12477
| 3
|
3184
|
[
{
"query": "I don't want to be that girl that sends the wrong message. I [23F] am a generally touchy person. To me that is how I communicate friendship. Hugs and touches on the arm mostly. I don't really linger at all. Same treatment for everyone. \n\nEnter guy in same group of friends (let's call him Matt) that I am really into. I don't want him to scramble any signals! To me the touch is different between us, but I have learned (thanks AskMen) that subtlety gets you nowhere.\n\nSo I guess my question is twofold. \n\n1. Should I calm down the physical affection with my guy friends? If so, what can replace it?\n\n2. How can I show this guy that I am into him? NOTE: He is very into making the first move and I like that. But I want to make it clear that I am open to more than friendship.\nShould I stop being so physically affectionate with my guy friends?",
"chosen": "Simple. When you're with him and his friends, don't touch anyone else. It will be obvious enough for him to figure out, and it will be different so he will notice.\n",
"rejected": "If he's that into making the first move, just wait for him to do it. You should be careful about how much you touch people--especially men--though. Sometimes we get the wrong idea.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm starting my college career at 26. Almost finished with the first semester with straight A's! But, I'm significantly older than my peers...\n\nHas anyone gone back to get their formal education later on in life and found success? I feel like graduating at 30 will be weird.\nMen who got their degrees later on in life, how much success did you find?",
"chosen": "I went back to school when I was 32 to be a Radiology Technologist. Doing pretty great now. Good paying job in a field I really enjoy. \n\nIt wasn't too bad for me because even though I was in my 30s, I looked ten years younger. Still, people knew and I don't think it was detrimental at all. \n\nIf you need a change, or like me, never finished school in the first place it is never too late to go back.\n",
"rejected": "I am starting college at 27 going on 28 in October so we are in the same boat\n"
},
{
"query": "How did you clear your name and what was the fallout from false allegations?\nMen that were accused of SA and were innocent, what happened next?",
"chosen": "I lost about half of my childhood friends, almost deferred my college acceptance, and attempted suicide. It was a good time. Fond memories 😕\n",
"rejected": "I don't know, I've never been to South Africa.\n"
},
{
"query": "My bf changes his underwear once a week, and I am disturbed about it. I asked this to be open minded regarding on the situation. How can I address to him that he should change underwear at least once a day without being rude?\nHow often should a man change his underwear?",
"chosen": "Just tell him you won't touch down there unless he's clean an in order to be clean he needs to be like a normal adult an shower or bath often an change underwear daily.\n",
"rejected": "Change your underwear every day.\n"
},
{
"query": "I just sneezed while taking a piss and got really fucking upset about it.\nWhat small thing irrationally pisses you off?",
"chosen": "People who do not follow the line marking when turning at intersections, and come into my lane. You don't cross the dotted line on straight roads, why do you have to do it at an intersection?\n",
"rejected": "Chronic throat clearers. Especially the really heavy nasty loud throat clears. It's fucking disgusting.\n"
},
{
"query": "I noticed my neighbor trying to hang Christmas lights today without a ladder. He had backed his truck up to his roof line and placed a step-stool into the bed of his truck. I walked over with my 8’ ladder and offered it to him and he says, “Oh! You have a ladder!” It just kind of struck me. I feel like a ladder is something pretty basic for a homeowner. \n\nSo, Men of Reddit, what say you?\nMen of Reddit: What is an essential/basic item you think all homeowners should own?",
"chosen": "We don’t have a ladder either lol.\n\nSnowblower tho\n",
"rejected": "Carbon monoxide detector.\n"
},
{
"query": "Have you ever let a friendship fizzle out? What happened, and what are some signs it’s time to let go?\nWhen is it time to let a friendship die?",
"chosen": "Helped a friend get a job, fight his demons, escape the tyranny of his grandfather. This guy was a friend for about 3 years (I knew him for about 10, I reached out and reconnected (out of sheer loneliness, admittedly)), everyday phone calls and all that, then one day I just had to end it. I got in some legal kerfuffle, stupid marijuana stuff really, and it was a turning point in my life. Thought he was a friend but actually he was only friendly. He was there for most of the three years before this last one, I thought things would get better once he settled into his new job. But conversations would revolve around how benevolent and indifferent he was to the women in his workplace when I actually needed the help and attention. I never asked for it. My therapist says I have problems with some deep, deep self-hatred, I don't even know what that means. He was a decent guy. But things needed to change. Last I spoke to him was in August, its the end of December now. The last phone call I wished him a happy birthday. I told him things were not going to stay the same no more. So far I think its a mistake, a good one.\n",
"rejected": "Unless they’ve done something specifically wrong, which hasn’t happened in forever, I just let nature take its course. Some ppl, we just stop talking simply because...life. Some I reach out to once a year, simply because...life\n"
},
{
"query": "Let's say you start dating this girl, and you're getting closer to one another. You start asking about personal relationships and family after a while, and she discloses to you that she was severely physically (not sexually, I know that would be a hard thing for anyone to swallow) abused growing up. Would you run for the hills, or...what?\nIs a history of abuse a turn-off/make-or-break for you?",
"chosen": "It depends on how she is handling it. If she's getting help and isn't just trying to hide it deep down, then sure, that's something I can handle. If she's going to use that as an excuse for every time she does something bad to me, then no, that's a dealbreaker.\n\nWe all have problems and issues. What matters is how we deal with them.\n",
"rejected": "It wouldn't make a difference to me. *Her behavior* decides if I want to stay or go, not her history.\n"
},
{
"query": "Curious as I just answered a couple vaguely related questions on AskWomen about this.\nThose of you who watch Game of Thrones, what have you taken from the series, and who is your favourite character(s)?",
"chosen": "My favorite part of the series is that the stereotypically \"good\" characters keep losing to the underhanded cheaters. Just seems more realistic to me, as far as fantasy goes. I've never been a fan of the trite stories where the arbitrarily good win against the evil-for-no-reason-but-evil. I like that there's a depth to the characters in GoT and no one is evil for the sake of being evil. Except maybe the White Walkers, but to be fair, we haven't gotten their side of the story yet.\n",
"rejected": "I think one of the best lessons you can learn is that there are times where you must be kind and soft-hearted, and there are times where you must be stern and hard...sometimes brutally so. The show does a good job of punishing characters that air on either side of the spectrum. \n\nI think John Snow and Daenerys are the best examples of this, given that they are both wholesomely \"good\" characters, yet they often are forced into showing that they must be unforgiving at times, and that it is inevitable that we as humans must make certain decisions and/or act a certain way. \n\nThat being said, I think Tyrion is my favorite character. Another great lesson in the series is how unfair life can be, and Tyrion's struggle in this regard is unrivaled at times. Although, Given his many shortcomings (lololol) and disadvantages and through all his trial and tribulation, he perseveres and triumphs through struggle - which is another common theme among many story arcs and characters throughout the series.\n"
},
{
"query": "Where do I begin? He lies a lot, but not about major things, just small lies here and there. Today, I found out he has snapchat and instagram, two of them he denied having...snapchat worries me the most.\n\n I add him and see that he has been snapchatting mostly with one girl, and on his top list were three girls. I know of these girls, they are his supposed friends but i have never met them? But let's say it was just friendly snaps, nothing sexual, then why did he hide the truth from me? However, he has only had snap chat for 5 days.\n\n I might be exaggerating but I hate lies... I remember asking him 4 days ago, if he had it, as I saw the app on his phone. He blatantly lied to my face, but tonight I found out. \n\nI have sent him a couple of texts about it, but he is asleep.\n\nI have been with him for 2 and a half years, we have had our ups and downs, but I hate liars.\n\nWhat do you guys think, do I have right to be mad over this? Should I not trust him?\nDo I have a right to distrust him?",
"chosen": "This sounds like a job for /r/askteenagers\n",
"rejected": "What other sorts of lies has he told? Is there a pattern to it?\n"
},
{
"query": "Ok, before I begin! She's not overweight at all. But she has a rounder face and always complains about it. She also always talks about her lack of an ass and how clothes don't always fit correctly. \n\nI recommended that she workout, and she pretty much thought I was calling her fat. \n\nHow would you guys talk about this?\nHow can I politely ask my girlfriend to exercise?",
"chosen": "Female perspective here. YES! YES YOU CAN DO THIS!! \nWe aren't as emotionally fragile as you all think we are. First of all, the round face really isn't going to go away. Face shape is genetics. If she doesn't have that much fat on her to begin with working out really isn't going to do much. She's just going to have to come to terms with that. But honestly the key is putting it in her terms and saying it bluntly. \"if you want to change the way you look go head and do it.\" Always remind her that these are HER opinions, not yours.\n",
"rejected": "Yeah, you can't do that.\n\nOnly thing you can do is nonchalantly ask if she wants to go for a run/walk with you or to the gym. On top of that, if you guys spend a lot of time together start cooking healthier meals.\n\nMy ex gained a decent amount of weight and it really bothered me. She was gaining weight and I was actively losing a bunch via diet/exercise. She got mad at me because I gained a lot of self confidence and then she complained that she was fat. Like an idiot, I said \"Well what did you think would happen? You eat pizza all week and drink like a fish?\"\n\nDidn't end well.\n"
},
{
"query": "I grew up lower middle class and ran into a few brick walls when I started making upper middle class money. Maybe it’s just my office, but I’ve noticed is upper class people view money and relationships differently. Have any of you had a similar experience?\nGuys that grew up poor and have made it to the upper echelons of society. What are some things that you have had to adjust to professionally?",
"chosen": "They don't really understand value as most people do... They're more on a material level than achieving level.\nEg. I wanna get a new mobile so I need to work this much...\nEg. On the other people... I just got the new iPhone xs while driving my Ferrari by pressing the accelerator with my Balenciaga shoes.\n\nI live in Dubai mercedes and BMW are just normal cars here.\n",
"rejected": "The biggest one is how I speak. It took a lot of effort to change my speaking style to an accepted professional one. When I get mad or upset about something that all goes away and people say (to HR) it can be quite intimidating. The other adjustments were easy, this one is the hardest to shake.\n"
}
] | 4
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000019073486328125,
"logprob2": -5.5,
"signal": 5.499998092651367
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00003600120544433594,
"logprob2": -4.375,
"signal": 4.374963998794556
}
| -1.125034
| 7
|
3998
|
[
{
"query": "A bit of background: I'm 18 and just moved to NYC for school, so since then I've been going out/sleeping with guys mainly in their mid-twenties. The question I have is whether it's generally expected that I leave his place after, or expected that I stay over, or does it depend on the guy? If we've been drinking I kind of expect that I'll stay over but if not or if only a little bit, I'm kind of not sure. Maybe some guys in their mid-twenties (or older since I'm generally attracted to older guys) can give me some insight into what's expected or what you prefer. Thanks, much appreciated! Sorry if this is a dumb question!\nGirl here: Standard of sleeping over after sex?",
"chosen": "I always bail out once they've fallen asleep. I don't want to overstay my welcome. Maybe if we drank a lot I'll stick around until 6 or 7 the next day, but unless explicitly told it's cool, I'm out of there by 3 am.\n",
"rejected": "27 M here. New Yorker as well. Girls can obviously stay the night. I don't want their safety (or lack there of) weighing on my conscience. Not cool.\n"
},
{
"query": "also, why do I seem to like it? Its a weird thing.\n\n\none time i was in a hardware store and some guy came up to me from behind and slapped my ass. I turned around and he looked surprised - I think I wasnt the person he thought I was. He said \"sorry, your ass looked familiar!\" lol\nWhy do men like butt slapping? I have never dated a man who didn't either try to slap it during sex, or at least in daily life. Often my boyfriend will politely open the door for me, then slap my ass as I walk though.",
"chosen": "I like giving my GF a nice pat on the butt. It's a flirty way of showing I find her attractive and acknowledging she's sexy. It's somewhat similar to how a woman likes to rest her head on her SO's shoulder or chest.\n",
"rejected": "It's not just guys who like butt slapping. Nor is it just women who like having their butt slapped for that matter.\n"
},
{
"query": "What rushes through your mind when you look each other in the eye and she smiles, what's it like to hug her knowing that your equally attracted to each other.\n\nI'm sad.\nHow does it feel to have a SO that loves you?",
"chosen": "Why are you sad? What's up man? You ok?\n",
"rejected": "Fucking awful, because I want to break up with her, but I can't break her heart in doing so. Haven't slept the past two weeks because of it. I told her how I felt a few weeks ago and agreed to try counselling. It hasn't worked for me, it has helped her, and I'm just waiting until her big week and exams are done on Friday before I tell her.\n\nThis feels more lonely than being alone.\n"
},
{
"query": "Background info:\nThey are all larger than you in height, weight, and age. It's 12:00 at night in the street. There's four people beating your friend up but a total of at least ten people on their side.\nWhat would you do if your friend was getting jumped?",
"chosen": "What kind of a question is this?\n",
"rejected": "I mean, I have a gun so I could escalate the situation. Does that help in your hypothetical scenario?\n"
},
{
"query": "My butthole is very clean, shaven, and delightfully fragrant; but it is, of course, brown. I worry because some women, although mostly just porn stars, have their buttholes lightened to a pretty shade of pink. I get so nervous during doggy style or just generally showing my boyfriend my butt because I don't want to expose my BROWN butthole. Do guys care? Does it affect how much you enjoy looking at or licking a girls behind? I really don't want to bleach my anus :(\nDo you care if a woman's butthole is brown? How does the color affect her butthole's level of attractiveness?",
"chosen": "Hahahaha everyone's asshole is brown unless they bleach it.\n",
"rejected": "Oh it matters BIGTIME. I have probably broken up with at least 4-5 girls because they did not meet my extraordinarily high standards when it comes to butthole hue.\n\nJust kidding, I am certain it wouldn't matter to 99.9% of guys. Hell, 99.9% of people.\n"
},
{
"query": "I hate beeing told that something is \"only for girls/women\".\nWhat unmanly things do you like?",
"chosen": "Ballroom dancing, classical music, and attending the opera. \nI am 6'2,\" 250lbs, bearded, and run a large(ish) working farm.\n",
"rejected": "I make soap. All sorts of colors and fragrances.\n"
},
{
"query": "How much time out of each day do you spend trying to hone your craft?\nGuys (and gals) of Askmen, what are your non-job related passions?",
"chosen": "Cooking for one, finding and listening to music, and most recently learning how to play the guitar. Cooking is mostly a weekend thing. Music is basically everyday. Guitar about a couple of hours a few days a week though I should up the days.\n",
"rejected": "Language learning, French and Russian specifically. They are windows into another way of life. I spend a few hours a week building my ability, and that will go up now that winter break is imminent.\n"
},
{
"query": "For me it's Patrick Warburton. I would never be able to shut up if I had the sexy deep-ass voice of Kronk. I'd even create my own theme music.\nIf you could trade voices with anyone (besides Morgan Freeman) who would it be and why?",
"chosen": "James Spader. He can make anything sound confident and calculated.\n",
"rejected": "James Earl Jones\n"
},
{
"query": "Talking to the male nurses, primary teachers, psychologists, social workers etc etc out there.\n\nI've worked in the steel industry and IT so I've not been exposed to women at work at all..\n\n\n What's it like on the other side?\nMen who work in female dominated fields. Do you experience sexual harassment at work and how do you deal with it?",
"chosen": "I work at a hotel as a night audit. This allows me to go to school during the day for computer networking. \n\nI have mostly female co-workers. All the housekeepers are females. The front desk people are females. I'm one of three males in our team of 20 staff members. The two other males are managers and we have a female sales manager. \n\nI don't experience sexual harassment with my co-workers, but occasionally with the female guests, usually older women, they'll spend extra time talking to me, call the front desk for favors a lot (more than usual guests), and I've even had a few women just call down to talk. I don't really consider it sexual harassment because I honestly don't care. Nothing ever comes of it because I'm married and have no interest in these women. I just want good tips from them.\n",
"rejected": "I work in a predominantly female department (although we've evened out lately). I've had one tell me I had a nice ass when I was bending over to grab something. Doesn't bother me but I guess it counts?\n\nThen the other guy in the department once said he had a kilt and would wear it to work one day, and all the women instantly asked if he'd wear anything under. I pointed out it was inappropriate, but they said it wasn't and they were curious. When I said it would be sexual harassment if I asked them when they wear skirts, they said it wasn't the same, so I guess this is not sexual harassment. ¯\\\\_(ツ)_/¯\n"
},
{
"query": "As the title asks. Basically asking in hindsight what would've like to have known to avoid your first serious heartache?\nFellow men of reddit; What experience or, bit of knowledge, from your first serious relationship do you wish you knew now that could've saved your relationship?",
"chosen": "Nada. \nThat first heartbreak is a necessary evil.\n",
"rejected": "I would have liked to realize sooner that the relationship wasn't going to work out because we weren't interested enough in each other. I would not have wanted to save the relationship -- it would never have worked out and ending it was for the best.\n"
},
{
"query": "This may not be your situation but it seems to happen more often than the vice versa.\nWhy do married men need to ask permission before going out with friends?",
"chosen": "This is not a married men thing, but for either married partner. You should be considerate of the person you're with. You don't necessarily have to ask permission but should still let them know if you have plans.\n",
"rejected": "It's not a case of permission, it's a case of respecting your partner enough to let her know. It might _seem_ like permission because people's partners might have some sort of plan for the same night that they haven't communicated yet, and in general people will put their partners first.\n"
},
{
"query": "Not talking about 18 wheelers or about trucks that are clearly used for work or a hobby. I'm talking about guys with lifted trucks, nice paint jobs, fancy equipment, and just simply use it as a commuter vehicle.\nWhat is the mindset of men who drive big trucks?",
"chosen": "You noticed. In fact, a lot of women seem to notice.\n",
"rejected": "Check my post history.\n\nI have hobbies. I camp, hunt, hike, and shoot. I have gone camping, hiking, and shooting in:\n\nCompact cars\n\nSedans\n\nMinivans\n\nSUVs (midsize and full size)\n\nMidsize trucks\n\nFull size trucks\n\nA full size truck just works best for me.\n\n Big point is keeping my cargo separate from my passengers. Premix gas for a chainsaw does *not* smell good in a car. Ever tried packing a bloodstained deer carcass out of the woods in a Camry?\n\nI'm 6' with size 15 feet. I'm not very comfortable in a midsize truck. I spent 5 minutes getting out of a Chevy Colorado yesterday because my shoelace got stuck on the damn parking brake.\n\nMy truck is 4x4. I go places with dirt roads or no roads. I need that capability.\n\nMy truck is lifted. I bought Ford's 4x4 Offroad package, which means the truck has an upgraded suspension from the FX4 with about a 2\" lift on it from the factory. Again with the undeveloped roads. I need ground clearance.\n\nMy truck has fancy headlights. Ford OEM halogens suck ass. Getting Ford OEM HID lights would have been $1k+. Instead, I bought Spyder Halo projection housings for $320.\n\nMy truck has a bigass brush guard hanging off the front. I live where there's a lot of deer that go dashing across the road and just love meeting your bumper. I want to protect my front end from high speed quadrupeds and brush on those undeveloped roads.\n\nMy truck is a crew cab, short box, which many say makes it a shitty truck. I haul more people than shit. I could get by with a 4x4 SUV, but again, I want cargo separate from passengers.\n\nI plan to level my truck and add some 34\" all terrains. Again, I want ground clearance. To do that, I need to fix the approach angle and pick up the front end to match the tail. Once I do that, I can fit 34s and pick up 2 more inches of clearance. It came stock with 32.6s. I hate street tires. They're shit in rain, shit on gravel, and shit on dirt. And don't even get me started on how shit they are on grass. Again with the undeveloped terrain, I need capability.\n\nSo there you have \n"
}
] | 7
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000019073486328125,
"logprob2": -5.125,
"signal": 5.124998092651367
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000040531158447265625,
"logprob2": -10.125,
"signal": 10.124995946884155
}
| 4.999998
| 4
|
7011
|
[
{
"query": "A type of man many women are attracted to is one who is perceptive of the ways others work. Someone who is aware, and verbalizes their observations in a way where you feel a special oh-how-flattering-they-noticed-that-about-me feeling. In addition, some of these men are not likely to give into a lifestyle just because many around them do or they receive pressure to.\n\nTo these men, I ask: Do you think the general expectations society has regarding career, relationships, etc. \"cramp your style?\" How so? If so, how do you deal with it?\nWhat lifestyle preferences do you wish you could fully embrace but, because of outside pressures/expectations, feel unable to?",
"chosen": "Career expectations don't cramp my style at all. Actually, I far exceed the expectations most people had for me. I come from a family with very little money and if I don't want my parents to die alone in a shitty nursing home, I need to bring home the bacon. Career expectations *are* my style.\n\nWith relationships, yeah, expectations are huge. I've had big, big problems with the expectation that I'll get married someday, both from society as a whole and from individual women. Family has criticized me, peers have questioned me, women have left me, but I just don't understand why I would sign a business arrangement (aka marriage) with a woman who didn't help me in the business department. There's a lot more to marriage than just loving each other, and when I've brought up that simple fact I've been universally criticized for it.\n\nHow do I deal with it? What's to deal with, really? I just do my thing and that's that.\n",
"rejected": "I miss dumpster diving. That's pretty much it.\n"
},
{
"query": "So we're now 2 full months into 2017 and with the coming of the new year many people try new hobbies or activities. However someone conceivably could have started a new hobby right at the end of 2016 so I think a hobby that started in December is still \"new\" enough to be relevant. \n\nSo what new hobby or activity did you start recently, and what motivated you to start it?\nHey r/AskMen, I picked up a new hobby at the beginning of 2017 what's your new hobby, and why did you choose it?",
"chosen": "I learned how to crochet in the latter half of 2016 and made a blanket for my mom as a Christmas present. Now I'm working on a pizza blanket for my boyfriend, gonna try and make toppings for it and everything! I started it because another med student taught me how and it seemed like a really relaxing hobby, something that you can do sort of absentmindedly with your hands and create something both cool and useful.\n",
"rejected": "Skateboarding. Actually a really good way to get out and pretty fun once you learn how to not fall on your ass.\n\nI got motivated to start it after watching some youtube videos about it randomly one night. I said to myself 'that looks fun' and went out to my nearest sporting store and got one. I just wish there was more places to skate, in my town it's not really a big thing and there's no parks/ramps to practice on.\n"
},
{
"query": "So recently in a relationship thread, this guy found out about his girlfriends number and he kept disrespecting her. However, he seemed to be able to have meaningless sexual experiences. For those of you that think like him, what about it actually bothers you? Do you recognize that you are hypocritical? Is it a social construct you have to mentally fight?\nGuys of AskMen, what is it about female promiscuity that bothers you, if it does?",
"chosen": "I'm with you if the guy actually *is* being hypocritical. My issue would be if the number was \"off\" with your partner. If one person has had 2 sexual partners and the other has had 52, I think that's a problem. It is indicative that the two people have differing views on sex and the meaning of sex. It isn't necessarily an insurmountable problem, but it is definitely an issue that is worthy of discussion.\n",
"rejected": "The only behavior I was ever bothered by was a girl who cheated on every partner she had. I don't give a shit how many people you sleep with (I like sleeping with people, why would I begrudge it?) and the experienced gained can be fun, but lying? Not happy with that one.\n\nShe even managed to cheat on me, which is tough, since I'm polyamorous and had no problem with her sleeping with other people.\n"
},
{
"query": "I think the topic of heels and how it relates to power structures\nWhat's one thing you think ladies way overcomplicate?",
"chosen": "Conversation. Just get to the point, I asked you for the time, not where you got your watch.\n",
"rejected": "Diet. I'm not talking about weight loss in particular, but I find it extremely rare to find a woman who does not have four or five major 'allergies', and four or five things that 'their doctor says they shouldn't eat'.\n\nBut they never went to a medical dietician. They never got any ultimatum from their doctor. Half of their allergies are not allergies at all. \n\nIt's very frustrating and difficult to have a good time with a lady on a consistent basis, when you can't treat them to any food due to them freaking out over it's contents.\n"
},
{
"query": "I've realized that as I talk to my girl I don't try to talk all this long winded shit in sporadic bursts like I do usually, I am content to just lay down with her and have idle chatter for a while and just relax, I also think a little bit more about how I'm eating, not that much but a little bit more. How have you guys in your habits and how you go about your day changed since meeting your love?\nFellas, how have you changed since you met your girl/boyfriend/spouse?",
"chosen": "I open up a lot more.\n\nI hide my snacks.\n\nI ask what I'm cooking tonight rather than what I feel like, which is usually an unhealthy choice.\n",
"rejected": "i recently met a guy who wasn't really my type but won me over by keeping in contact with me unprompted and without expectation. he's initiated every single date. i've never felt more respected or listened to by a guy. he actually recalls things i've said before. he didn't throw me away after having sex once. in fact, the day after he texted me telling me how much fun he had and saying he hoped the interviews (i mentioned the night before) went awesome. it was the most pleasant surprise ever. that's never happened to me before.\n\ni didn't think a guy would ever want to spend time with me or talk to me outside of sex. i've never been more jaded than i was prior to meeting him because of all my experiences with guys from apps. i was and still am destroyed. whatever happens, he's made me realize my worth in some ways. i really felt like shit before. he cares about making me cum. he wanted to eat me out before anything else, and he does it without even being asked.\n\nthe second time we had sex, he invited me over during the daytime, and i had to pick my jaw up off the floor. i seriously asked him if it was because he was busy at night or something (and just wanted to get a fuck in before he had real plans). nope. we hung out for like five hours before we even had any sexual contact, and after that we went out to eat before he took me home. i know the bar is on the floor, but this is really new behavior to me.\n\nso yeah someone who wasn't really my type won me over by treating me like an actual human being\n"
},
{
"query": "After lurking for a while and complaining about it in random comments I decided to give this a thread of its own. \n\nDated a girl for a year, then I got a new job 4 hours away. Things weren't really that bad, but between the distance and a few small things I decided to break things off. \n\nA few weeks later I visit the town and naturally hit up my best buddy and chill at his place. He says 'i guess I should tell you I'm kinda banging your ex'. At first I'm like oh shit, wow man. I guess that's cool. As the hours and days go on it starts to hit me that it really hurts me to see them together. I really looked up to this friend, and for some reason now that they are together it feels like I made the wrong decision.\n\n2 days after he told me I had a real talk with him about it. I was pretty broken up and tearing when I talked to him. Pretty much along the lines of me saying 'this really hurts me man. Don't do this to me, there's plenty of other girls out there don't go after the only one I have an emotional connection with.' He just says sorry man I didn't want this to happen and I still consider you a best friend. 2 weeks later they're officially dating. \n\nSo I tried staying friends and hit him up here and there, but every time I'd talk to him it would just bring up bad feelings. We have had many epic times together (literally the best times of my life) so I didn't want to let a girl get between us. But, after a while of this I told him I can't shake these feelings, and our friendship is ruined. It feels like betrayal but I know it isn't, just more along the lines of I lost his respect. We may have had different ideas of respect, but I would never have done something like that to him, especially if he cried about it in front of me. I understand that because I broke things off with her I really have no say in it. \n\nTl;dr best buddy starts dating recent ex without talking to me about it. I tell him it upsets me and 2 weeks later they're officially dating. Try to patch things up and stay friends with him, or cut them both out and move on? \n\nAs of now I told him I just need time to gather myself, so we're not on great terms. For context, I'm 24, she's 23, and he's 27. Ask questions if anything is unclear, and you can play devils advocate so I can see the other side of the story.\nBest buddy starts dating recent ex. Stay friends with him?",
"chosen": "No offense, but all this makes you sound pretty fickle and immature. You threw her to the side for no particularly good reason, and then when you saw her with someone else you got jealous? This is basically what my kids do with toys. They don't want a toy until the other one is playing with it, then it's their favorite toy in the whole world and they can't imagine not playing with it RIGHT NOW. \n\nThis isn't just about you not having a say in it. It's about you having really shitty motivations. You weren't even thinking about this girl until you saw her with your friend. I'm sure she'd be thrilled to know she's your forbidden fruit of the moment. \n\nAll that being said, there is the \"guy code\" aspect of all this, and yeah he's kinda lame for fishing in such a small pond of your cirlcle of friends. So there's that. It's up to you to decide if that's worth ending a friendship, but for me it wouldn't unless me and the girl were very serious, which it clearly doesn't sound like you were.\n",
"rejected": "He didn't even respect you enough to approach you about it? You spilled your heart out and this asshole still choose her over you. I say fuck it, he's not a real friend.\n"
},
{
"query": "What are your opinions of men who are more comfortable with women than their own gender when it comes to social interactions? Particularly in the workplace?\n\nI’m not talking about preference on who to hang out with. I’m talking about the level of VISIBLE comfort a man has in small talk, meetings, giving and receiving authority with women vs. men. \n\nGay? Intimidated by other men?\nWhat are your opinions on men who are more comfortable socializing with women than men?",
"chosen": "I find it a bit off honestly. I mean, you get along with who you get along with. But it just seems that if you are gravitating solely toward women, it just seems a bit weird. \n \nLike people tend to gravitate toward their own. I remember a study once I read about where they did it multiple times, and people found people like \"them\". Now what \"them\" was could changed. It could be gender. It could be race. It could be weight (fat people tended to congregate). It could be sexual orientation. \n\nSo I'm all about hanging out with who you like, but it seems to go against normal human psychology.\n",
"rejected": "My honest thought every time i encounter one is \"This guy is going to be really weird\". And 100% of the times, they are more sensitive, in need of constant compliments. It most of the time screams insecurity. Now I'm not saying its weird having female friends, i have plenty. But ONLY wanting to be around women says a lot in my opinion. \n\nAnd like mentioned of others, they are prone not to like dick measuring contests, the type of male banter etc. I mean Hey, whatever floats your boat, but I tend to judge the person and dislike them even before I get to know them just by observing that. But thats a fault I have personally.\n"
},
{
"query": "I know myself and a lot of my female friends get baby fever now and then, where we really want to have kids! \n\nDo men have the same thing? What’s it like for you? Do you watch cute pregnancy vlogs or is that just us gals?\nWhat’s “baby fever” like for men?",
"chosen": "Men don't really get that, and we think it's weird that women do. Not that it's bad, it's just weird to see such a naked expression of hormones and biological clock.\n\nAt most, we'll go \"I want a kid now.\"\n\n\nActually, the closest we get is apparantly after we've already had one kid- men are much more enthusiastic about having a second kid, compared to having the first.\n",
"rejected": "I work in a supermarket. I see the absolute worst of kids, that job is the best contraceptive of all time.\n"
},
{
"query": "20F here. \n\nI was told the other day that I have the ugly duckling syndrome. I was a late bloomer and still insecure, but I'm a rather confident person in how I socialize.\n\nI've been told I'm beautiful and good looking and that I'm 8-9 on the scale. The other night I had a comment that I'm \"something to brag about\" and that \"I'm built like a goddess\". \n\nNow this might be unnecessary to tell but I'm not building up an ego - I am actually more hurt and confused by these comments than I'm flattered.\n\nBecause regardless if I get a lot of male attention, I seem to be little more than a piece of meat. I go out a lot, I get hit on, I flirt and I socialize. I just can't seem to find interest beyond sex. Some guys frankly behave really disrespectful to me, like they're entitled to have me when THEY feel like it. \n\nI'm feeling really disheartened and sort of generally heartbroken/lonely and I don't know how to take control of the situation. I'm more than just a \"hot chick would bang then throw\" but I seem to have no ability to let them get to know me - and when I suggest it, they don't seem interested. \n\nI just need some guidance to lift my spirits. Thanks, men.\nWhy am I so unsuccessful with men?",
"chosen": "A. Why would you want to hang around people like that?\n\nB. What makes you interesting and someone I want to get to know? Beauty is common. I lived in a top 10 college town for a while, I had to take a change of undies into Walmart the girls were so gorgeous. Personality matters.\n",
"rejected": "I don't think this has been mentioned here, but I would suggest that you get a winglady. Seriously. Some women are really good at smelling out the guys who want sex only. They can watch your back, and probably know the signs of your typical PUA (pick-up artist).\n\nAnother thing to consider is asking someone to set you up. Usually your friends and family will be protective of you and try to find a guy for you that will be good for you. I know in this day and age a woman should be able to do what she likes, but it doesn't hurt to get help. It's crazy out there, and any help you can get is worth it.\n\nSomeone mentioned finding someone who has hobbies and interests like yours. Do not make up interests just because you heard guys like it. DO NOT adjust yourself too much just to meet a man. The WORST thing you can do is to make yourself seem needy for/to a man. A PUA will use this VERY effectively to get in your pants.\n\nYour hobbies and likes are what they are. If you are a Star Trek fan, Harry Potter fan, or you like Twilight, say so, don't be afraid to talk about it openly. These are parts of you, the parts that help you enjoy life If the guy walks because of Twilight, then he can take a piss. If you find someone who is genuinely interested in the same things you are, it means that he will more likely be interested in you as a person and not just something to fuck.\n\nNow, I was crude on purpose, to stick in your head. Your body is yours for YOU to enjoy. NEVER use sex as a way to get company and attention, it will only get you depression and anger. IT IS NOT a man's right to have sex with you. (this does not apply if you are confident, self assured, comfortable and want casual sex.)\n\nBe aware of guys who are too willing to be nice, a wingwoman will help with this. They can tell when the guy is just being nice to get in the pants.\n\nBe MORE aware of guys who try to insult you, even when you know you are good looking. They are trying to make you feel insecure. This will make you feel needy, and when feel \n"
},
{
"query": "I've never actually purchased condoms before, as usually it's the man who gets them. I figure it would be responsible of me to have some (just in case), but I can't anticipate the size of any future partner(s).\n\nI'm guessing latex-free ones would be preferable since latex is a somewhat common allergy.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n...and no, I'm not running around trying to get laid during a pandemic I've just always wondered this.\nIf I (24F) want to carry condoms on me, what size do I get?",
"chosen": "They don’t really come in sizes unless you are at an adult store. Anything off the shelf at Target will be fine. Latex-free are harder to find so Amazon might be a good choice.\n",
"rejected": "I'm a lady and regular carrier of condoms. Just get your regular ol' trojan ultra thin or bareskin... Should be a hit for all!\n\nDon't worry about non latex, I've never had that issue... Also the non-latex (think fancier, \"organic\" ones with no chemicals) tend to be too thick and really reduce sensation.\n\nIf anything, worry about getting non-spermicide. I've heard it can be irritating to a dude's pee hole.\n"
},
{
"query": "I am 30 yrs old and so is my wife we have been married 3 yrs.\nWe've had our ups and downs but this yr was just bad. We were having a very down time.. i do not think either of us were happy. My wife had a drinking problem that had been getting worse and worse. we were both miserable. Then we found out she was pregnant. she quit drinking.. things were good. about 2 months into it we had a miscarriage. things slowly went back to \"normal\"\n\nOne day out of the blue she told me she wanted a divorce. that she loved me but wasnt in love with me. and that she deserved better. after she told me this i got very sad. the nxt morning i begged her to stay told her we could go to consoling etc. she said no and started packing. i left to go to work i was a mess.\n\nabout 20mins later she called me and said we can work on things. i was always half in it after that. one month later she said she wanted a divorce again i was on board too this time.\n\nlater that night she told me she went to grab a drink with a guy from work that she developed feelings for. all they did was talk for an hr.\n\naftr that it was done deal for me.\n\nthe next day i was a mess and so was she but i told her she had to leave i went to a lawyer and was going through with a divorce. before i left for the lawyer i told her well this is it stop me if you think we can fix this... she did nothing.\n\nAfter i got home she told me she made up the story about the guy. I did check her phone records and there was know random guy numbers on there. and she was drunk when she told me. she told me she just said it to hurt me.\n\nit was a very confusing time after this we both agreed to try and work on things. and we did try to. \n\nit took awhile but She has finally stopped drinking and is being a much nicer happier person.. which is what i always wanted.\n\nthe problem now is its been 2 months and i find myself getting angry at the littlest things and just being grumpy all the time. at work i question things and go back and forth on divorce and staying. its driving me insane.\n\nIt like she broke my heart and now i do not know if i can give it fully back to her.\n\nthroughout our 3 yrs of marriage she had mentioned divorce 4 times which nvr to the extreme of that last time. my therapist said its like a dog that has bitten you 4 times and now is like its ok pet me.\n\nAHHHH\nwife said she was done now she wants to stay...",
"chosen": "Hive mind says divorce. I will be the counter argument and say that if you want to make this work, or if you just want to assure yourself that you've done everything in your power to make it work, seek couples counseling.\n\nMake it a requirement of your continued participation in the union. If she doesn't want to, you have your answer. If she goes but doesn't really participate, you have your answer. If she goes and really, really tries, you may still end up divorced. There are no guarantees. But at this point you will hopefully know a bit more about yourself and her to make that life changing decision.\n",
"rejected": "Dude, get out. Now. Do the whole separate bank accounts, credit cards, etc. Save money for a lawyer. \n \nNow why: \n \n1) She is being emotionally abusive. \n2) She obviously doesn't want to be in the relationship. She's repeatedly said this. Only wants to be there when she's in the mood - which is terrible \n3) She's got a drinking problem. She needs to get to AA or something similar and get her shit together to have a real relationship \n \nListen to your therapist - get the hell out of the marriage.\n"
},
{
"query": "I've always encountered a disconnect when I talk to guys about the various things women need to consider on nights out in order to get home safely. Most can sympathise, but none can really empathise. Which is understandable.\n\nI was just wondering how many men have actually felt a need to alter their behaviour out of intimidation or fear of their safety on their way home at night.\nMen of Askmen: Have you ever felt genuinely intimidated/unsafe walking home alone at night?",
"chosen": "Yeah, there have been times. My university was actually in one of the most economically depressed neighborhoods of it's city and while overall the university had a good relationship with its neighbors, crime was always an underlying possibility, so walking alone at night on a dark street known for muggings gets you a little on edge.\n",
"rejected": "Nope. Never. I live in rural England. After 1am streets are abandoned and you can almost hear a pin drop, yet it never feels unsafe. It might be different if I lived in a city where there are more drunk people to account for.\n\nI once missed the last taxi home and had to walk 9 miles through the countryside to my house at 2am.\n\nThat is not to say I am never alert, however. I'm always cautious of others.\n"
},
{
"query": "Based on the other thread asking Black men the same question.\n\nAlso, when I say Asian, I'm including other \"Asians\" like Indian/Pakistani/Bengali/Iranian/Afghan/you get it.\nAsian guys of AskMen what is something about you that your white friends won't really understand or relate to?",
"chosen": "*\"Yeah, my parents were really strict with me too.\"*\n\nNo. You have no idea. Had to be home before 10pm when you were a kid? Oh you poor thing. That must have been so difficult for you. And you got yelled at for not cleaning your room? Wow.\n",
"rejected": "It feels like social engagement isn't a priority at all to Indians. Hanging out with friends after school is a normal thing to most people I know, but it was like a rare and special occasion, limited mostly to friends birthday parties that I'd have to leave early anyway. Any time I wanted to see my friends instead of going to my relatives' place for dinner (as we did ALL THE TIME) I'd get guilt-tripped for not caring about my family. \n\nI also wasn't \"allowed\" to have a job in high school and early college, and I feel like I missed a lot of social opportunity/experience because of that. \n\nFriends, dating, parties and recreation were seen as distractions from education. My friends would try to tell me that it was nice that my parents cared, and while I appreciate that, I didn't like what came along with it. Even when I visit my parents now and stay with them, I feel a little guilt going out to meet my old friends late at night (as in after 9:00 PM). When I let them know I'm stepping out, my dad *still* gets onto me about \"roaming around late at night\" and asking \"when I'll outgrow this nonsense.\"\n"
},
{
"query": "Quick anecdote. I was just in a supermarket and was queueing for cigarettes. The counter I was waiting at does both cigarettes and lottery. Another cashier came along and opened up his till and just called over to ask if anyone just wants cigarettes and no lottery. Being next in the queue I headed over. There was a girl in the queue too, very cute, who started over as well. As she was down in the queue, she realised she was pushing but laughed it off (no big deal). So I'm waiting for the guy to ring me up and she walks over. Exchange a couple of pleasantries and she's all smiles and we're chatty ish. I leave, get in my car drive home. I did happen to look back as I left and thought I saw a bit of an expectant sort of surprised look and I think it's only just dawned on me she wanted me to chat. Ooops.\n\nSo how useless are you? What are your missed opportunities? Entertain me while I'm on my own eating my salmon salad and coffee.\nHow useless are you at telling a girl likes you?",
"chosen": "I've always been spectacularly clueless about that.\n\nAt my 10 year class reunion, I was sitting at a table with 7 of my fellow female classmates, all hot. After some light chat, one of them says, \"Hey how come you never asked me out back then? I had such a crush on you.\" Then every single one of the other girls chimed in and said, \"Yeah, me too.\" One then added, \"I thought you were really stuck-up.\" \n\nI wasn't stuck-up, just shy. Even worse, I had found all of them hot back in school, but didn't have the courage to ask them out.\n\nThe girls I *did* ask out all hit me with \"I just like you for a friend.\"\n\nSo apparently I asked out the girls who had no interest, and didn't think I had a chance with those who did. \n\nThe woman I eventually married had to take the step of just writing down her number and handing it to me. (This was before you traded cell phone numbers.)\n",
"rejected": "If you want to improve your percentage, just be so repulsive that no girls would ever like you.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm 34, she's 31. She's had her dumb, poorly trained, and disobedient dog for 5 years. She got it with her ex and they broke up almost a year ago. She 100% has treated this dog like a human toddler since day one. The dog controls her life, she spoons the dog to sleep, and she constantly worries about the dog like a helicopter parent. I'm not jealous of the attention, she and I are great, but her attachment to the dog seems almost unhealthy. She will legit cuddle the dog like a baby on the couch and talk to it in baby voice. It just weirds me out, and I've had dogs my whole life and love them as dogs, not furry children.\nMen who dated women who's dog was the love of their live, how did it go?",
"chosen": "Unfortunately this seems to be very common trend in Gen Y women in their 30's. I know a LOT of women like this, does not matter if they are single, in relationship or heck even married. One thing they all have in common is, that they are childless. Well obviously since dog is their baby. My sister(34), married for 3 years treats her dog like a baby, my cousin(32 married for 2 years) is the same, another single woman(33) I know have bunch of big male dogs and refuses any kind of relationship(yes she is straight) and I can go on. \n\nDog mom in profile = red flag.\n",
"rejected": "This is a mental disease. Get away from her.\n"
},
{
"query": "In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.\n\nI know it’s just a stereotype that men constantly want sex and women always turn it down. However, am I doing something wrong?\n\nI’m fine with a 2-3 times a week. We have needs.\nMen, how often do you want to have sex?",
"chosen": "maybe 1 once a month if they want to\n",
"rejected": "*In the two relationships I’ve ever had, I have always wanted to have sex more than my partner.*\n\n*However, am I doing something wrong?*\n\nAre you initiating the sex, or are you just waiting for him to take the lead and when he doesn't you assume he doesn't want to have sex? It's quite possible he did want more sex but thought you didn't, so he didn't bother trying.\n\nLikewise, guys will sometimes avoid it if they're stressed, not feeling great, etc. Not necessarily because they don't want it, but because they're worried they won't be able to perform and it'll be very embarrassing.\n"
}
] | 12
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00005888938903808594,
"logprob2": -7.75,
"signal": 7.749941110610962
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000019073486328125,
"logprob2": -5.125,
"signal": 5.124998092651367
}
| -2.624943
| 3
|
9092
|
[
{
"query": "I’m a 15M, sick right now, and just want my mom. My dad was arrested earlier this year for sexually and physically abusing me. I’m in foster care now and they are good foster parents but I just want my real mom. It doesn’t make sense. She died when I was 3 so I don’t even remember her, and all my life my dad told me she didn’t care about me. I miss her especially when I’m sick. I know it’s shameful at my age and I don’t actually need her to take care of me when I’m a 15 year old boy. But I still feel like I need her and don’t want to feel like this anymore.\nHow can I get over wanting my mom? She died when I was young and I’m in foster care. I don’t remember her and my dad told me she never cared about me.",
"chosen": "Had me in the first third, not gonna lie.\n",
"rejected": "Everybody wants parents. Everybody. It’s totally normal. I can’t imagine a more normal thing than missing your mom.\n\nYour dad sounds like a shitbag. I would not assume what he said about your mom is accurate, at all.\n\nYou’re not supposed to be completely independent at 15. Wanting love and affection is normal and healthy throughout your life.\n\nDo you have a therapist to talk to?\n"
},
{
"query": "Asked the reverse of this to r/askwomen, so I figured I should post here too\nIs toxic femininity a thing? If so, at what point does femininity become toxic?",
"chosen": "You wouldn't come to the defense of people shooting off the fireworks just because you are from that neighborhood unless you were also okay with the fact that they were shooting off the fireworks.\n",
"rejected": "it's the flipside of toxic masculinity, all the pressures and expectations society puts on women\n\nlet's see examples\n\nThe expectation of women to wear make up\n\nThe expectation that they are non confrontational even when it makes sense to be confrontational. The shock when a woman is confrontational or even assertive in some cases\n\nThe assumption of and bias towards maternal custody of children in divorce cases\n\nThe pussy pass effect where women get lower sentences for crime\n\nThe assumption that women will and want to do the housework, still happens today and even can happen when the woman is in full time work\n"
},
{
"query": "What do you think about them if they have a limp handshake? I always thought strong handshakes weren't really required for women, but maybe I'm wrong.\nDo you expect women to give firm handshakes?",
"chosen": "I'm a woman with a firm handshake that gets met with eyes of surprise from men. Fuck that limp shit.\n",
"rejected": "I don't give a crap about handshakes at all. It's a greeting. I place zero weight in it.\n"
},
{
"query": "No, I don't mean nudes. I'm talking about pictures of you and her in a social setting, or things you may have done together. I just found a bunch and I can't decide if I should delete them or not.\nAlright men, is it weird to still have pictures of your ex?",
"chosen": "There are a load on my facebook, and on my computer as well. I don't look at them but I don't see the point in deleting them. Deleting them is not going to make the past have not happened.\n",
"rejected": "Keep them and put them away deep somewhere for 6 months. Then pull them out and see how you still feel about them. You might feel these, or you might be so totally over it that you decide to toss them\n"
},
{
"query": "I was chatting with my neighbor whose husband of 11 years just up and abandoned her and their kids. Like 8 months ago they were \"fine,\" but then all of a sudden he was on his phone all the time (even during things like trick or treating), sending/receiving 3000 texts to this one number. And then one day he just packed up and split. He kept going back and forth like oh I wanna work this out, no I can't be a dad and a husband sorry. Poor woman - he got a full std panel too, and it showed up in the mail at their home... After he moved out.\n\nAnyway what the hell? They got married young (mid 20s), but it's not like their kids (oldest is 7) came along when they were still crazy young. However, work was a point of contention because she hates it and didn't want to work after the first kid. Has also gained ~100 lbs since kid 1.\n\nMy dad left my mom for another woman he met through work. My husband *tried* to get with another woman at work a while back when we were just dating (long story)... It's like, why do married men with kids do this? I know women do this too, and this problem is probably beating a dead horse here... Just wondering. I feel bad for my neighbor but part of me wants to smack her and tell her to cut his trifling ass loose.\nWhat makes a married man leave?",
"chosen": "Might help to add to the OP that the wife gained 100-200lbs and stopped working. Those are both pretty important details.\n",
"rejected": "Because marriage usually means monogamy, and monogamy means you've promised not to have sex with anyone else in the world, forever.\n\nNot having sex with anyone else ever, is for most people a bad situation to be in. Beyond the limited sex itself, the dynamic often leads partners into having an unhealthy relationship with each other. Both are the only outlet for the sexual desires of the other, and so each gets powerful leverage that can be and is often misused.\n"
},
{
"query": "Examples: Water and Electricity should never be mixed, if you become lost in the woods stay put, don't try to pull a small piece of timber through a circular saw, when mixing water and acid always add the acid to the water and never the other way around, etc. Just general things to prepare any kid or teenager for adulthood.\nWhat are some important safety lessons all fathers should pass on to their kids?",
"chosen": "Teach them how to handle a gun safely.\n",
"rejected": "wear a condom during intercourse\n"
},
{
"query": "I've realized that as I talk to my girl I don't try to talk all this long winded shit in sporadic bursts like I do usually, I am content to just lay down with her and have idle chatter for a while and just relax, I also think a little bit more about how I'm eating, not that much but a little bit more. How have you guys in your habits and how you go about your day changed since meeting your love?\nFellas, how have you changed since you met your girl/boyfriend/spouse?",
"chosen": "I open up a lot more.\n\nI hide my snacks.\n\nI ask what I'm cooking tonight rather than what I feel like, which is usually an unhealthy choice.\n",
"rejected": "i recently met a guy who wasn't really my type but won me over by keeping in contact with me unprompted and without expectation. he's initiated every single date. i've never felt more respected or listened to by a guy. he actually recalls things i've said before. he didn't throw me away after having sex once. in fact, the day after he texted me telling me how much fun he had and saying he hoped the interviews (i mentioned the night before) went awesome. it was the most pleasant surprise ever. that's never happened to me before.\n\ni didn't think a guy would ever want to spend time with me or talk to me outside of sex. i've never been more jaded than i was prior to meeting him because of all my experiences with guys from apps. i was and still am destroyed. whatever happens, he's made me realize my worth in some ways. i really felt like shit before. he cares about making me cum. he wanted to eat me out before anything else, and he does it without even being asked.\n\nthe second time we had sex, he invited me over during the daytime, and i had to pick my jaw up off the floor. i seriously asked him if it was because he was busy at night or something (and just wanted to get a fuck in before he had real plans). nope. we hung out for like five hours before we even had any sexual contact, and after that we went out to eat before he took me home. i know the bar is on the floor, but this is really new behavior to me.\n\nso yeah someone who wasn't really my type won me over by treating me like an actual human being\n"
},
{
"query": "I do admin for my company and sit at the front desk so I always receive our packages. I'd like to receive a different package, if you're picking up what I'm putting down. \n\nI'm all for being forward and not waiting for the guy to make the first move. We always make eyes at each other but he's only ever in for a minute or so. Today he complimented my shoes so I think he wants to bone. \n\nI normally would just ask a guy if he wanted to grab a drink sometime, but it feels weird in this situation being that I'm at work and he's working too. All I can think of are inappropriate, bad jokes about receiving packages that I wouldn't actually say anyway.\nHow do I ask out the FedEx guy at work?",
"chosen": "Bend and snap?\n",
"rejected": "This is how my parents met. Mom was at front desk, dad was UPS man. So I suggest changing delivery services to UPS and then hitting on *that* guy.\n\nBut in all seriousness you could just ask him if he wants to grab a drink sometime. If you sign for packages make some small talk \"any plans for the weekend\" and then say \"if your free and want to grab a drink heres my number\" or something.\n"
},
{
"query": "My girlfriend and I have been together for 8 months. When we initially met, we ended up going on dates and she told me, she isn't the type of girl that will have sex with guys until after the 5th date or she is exclusive with them. After a while we ended up getting exclusive, however recently I found out through a friend that she was seeing other people casually while we were dating (and having sex with them). \n\nI feel like a chump from all this, that while I had to take her on dates she was getting fucked by other guys by just being invited over to their apartment. I confronted her about this and she was upset, but she says a lot of girls do this when it comes to a guy they want long term.\n\nI feel really sick about all of this. I was happy with our relationship prior to all of this, but right now I don't see her the same. Is this a valid reason to break up?\nGirlfriend dated guys while we were seeing each other and lied about some parts, does this dishonesty make her a bad girlfriend?",
"chosen": "You've been played, son.\n\nShe sees you as a safe provider, not the guy she wants to fuck. The fact that she lied about it should make it abundantly clear to you that she will have no problem lying to you again when she inevitably starts fucking other dudes behind your back. That should be more than clear to you at this point. \n\nTake it as a life lesson and move one. Don't be a goddamn chump, and do not let her tell you how you should feel about this. If I were you, I'd drop her without looking back.\n",
"rejected": "Women are always told that guys lose interest after having sex too soon. She was probably also afraid he wouldn't respect her if she slept with him too early. Her actions may seem dumb to a lot of people but I completely understand the reasoning behind it.\n"
},
{
"query": "(I mean online dating, forgot that part)\n\nI always hear women tell theirs, I'm curious about the crazies you guys meet up with\nWhat are some of your worst online experiences?",
"chosen": "I always have fun or an adventure while browsing online, but just that damn dating crap. You try to engage some people asking them simple things about what else they like but just get completely ignored. Then in anger you sit there wondering, \"Why do you people even make an account when you don't even bother to talk to others who are willing to make an effort to talk to you? I mean you are on this site for that kind of reason right?\" Eff you online dating!\n",
"rejected": "My craziest cost $2000, and the only thing that got fucked was my mind. Do I get some kind of crazy hunter prize?\n"
},
{
"query": "What do you do for a living? Would you recommend your field to others?\nCareers?",
"chosen": "Chemical Engineer. at an internship right now.\n\nIf you can bust your butt enough to get through it, I would recommend it, yes.\n",
"rejected": "Geologist, and no. I feel sorry for all the young suckers in /r/GeologyCareers who think they are going to have a great career.\n"
},
{
"query": "I thought it was fair enough to ask this here as it was asked in /askwomen\nWhat is the turning point in your life that made you hate people?",
"chosen": "When I started becoming bilingual. Everyone is an ass everywhere\n",
"rejected": "No matter how many times ive made friends in my entire life they have all betrayed me and ive come to realise that no one i meet irl wants to be friends with me and not use me or betray me. \n\n\nI hate it so much being alone and when i open up to ppl i just get used and betrayed. Sometimes i just wish i wasnt here anymore.\n"
}
] | 7
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000019073486328125,
"logprob2": -5.125,
"signal": 5.124998092651367
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00010967254638671875,
"logprob2": -6.125,
"signal": 6.124890327453613
}
| 0.999892
| 4
|
1078
|
[
{
"query": "So guys (and gals) or r/askmen what books are you reading? How many books did you read this year? Which one did you like the most?\nWhat book are you reading currently?",
"chosen": "Reading through the discworld books. Just finished Guards! Guards! and starting on Eric.\n",
"rejected": "I was going through The Dresden Files, got through book 3. Now I'm reading a bunch of different comics, I just started with them, and I love it.\n"
},
{
"query": "Hi, I'm currently in my 1st year of University and I decided to move from my tiny studio to a really great flat. For money reasons, I asked a friend that I met at my University (we've been friends for around 5 months now). \n I'm not attracted by her but we're going to be room-mates in 3 weeks (we already took the flat, pay for everything and stuff) and I was wondering how it could be like to live with a girl everyday. \n If you have any advice or experience to share, go ahead ! \n\nPS : Sorry for the spelling, i'm french.\nHaving a girl for room-mate : good or bad ?",
"chosen": "I'm a woman and I lived with another guy and a girl. The guy was cleaner than my girl roommate, but I was cleaner than both. So don't think she will be cleaner than you just because she is a woman. It sounds like you have already gone over stuff with her in terms of cleaning, so here is what I will add:\n\nHair. We tend to have a lot. It WILL get everywhere...sorry...\n\nYou will find bobby pins in sporadic places. It's how us females mark our territory.\n\nBathroom. Again, sorry if you share one...makeup and hair will be everywhere most likely.\n\nCommunication. We can be weird about communicating what bothers us. Make sure you guys are great communicators. I know this isn't a relationship, but you guys are roomies and it's still important.\n",
"rejected": "I think that wheter your roommate is male or female matters less then whether they are a reasonable, honest and civilized person, but all things being equal, I would go with a guy because I could have trouble accepting her boyfriend(s) on my territory.\n"
},
{
"query": "Men and women of askmen. What's something you've done recently that left you feeling proud of yourself? Was it at home, work, school, with friends? Was it something really small or something huge to you?\n\nI recently had a really bad break up about 2 months ago with a girl who was my first love and dated for 2.5 years. The break up left me feeling like a worthless hollow shell of my former self and I had a big struggle with depression so severe I nearly gave up on myself. Quitting my morning job, getting fired from my night job and almost losing my apartment. \n\nWell today I finally got to do something I've wanted to do since I was 18 but kept letting people talk me out of it. Now 23 years old and today I enlisted in the Army. For the first time in these last couple months and even years I'm truly happy and feel extremely proud of myself.\nWhat is something you've done recently that makes you feel proud?",
"chosen": "Finally got my driver's licence 4 years late to the party. Can't believe I put it off for so long.\n",
"rejected": "I've taken my first few steps into getting into my life long dream of becoming a police officer. I am testing for several departments and have an oral interview coming up!\n"
},
{
"query": "could be anything from moving across country to a job offer\nWhat is the biggest leap of faith you've taken and how did it turn out?",
"chosen": "When moving from California to Texas for work, I invited my gf of 8 months to come live with me. \n\nMake or break situation... 2 years later now and we are engaged to be married next summer!\n",
"rejected": "I invested a really big chunk of my savings (as an 18 y/o) into buying a DSLR and some lenses along the way. Been at it for half a year and keep seeing improvements in all areas! (Mainly composition and post-processing, technique has stalled a bit.) \n\nI've been asked to be the official photographer of the surf trip I went on this summer (where I got to shoot some great stuff) by a few people. The application is still open for next year, but I'm still thinking about it. By the way, this trip was the other half of my savings, so now there is none. \n\nI did a small job for a relative. Got asked for another bigger job by another one, but had to let it slide because of work that day. Bummer. Anyway, things are going great and I'm enjoying it a lot!\n"
},
{
"query": "I enjoy reading through this sub regularly. But it's not a secret that 90% of the questions are on the subject matter of relationships or sex. I'd like to think that there are more layers to us men than what our relationship status is.\n\nIf the mods only allowed non-relationship questions, do you think the sub would die? Or do you think it would yield more creative questions?\nWhat would /r/askmen look like if it banned relationship and sex questions for a week?",
"chosen": "Questions about dinosaurs I hope.\n",
"rejected": "God it'd be amazing.\n"
},
{
"query": "Been single for years. Want to get back into dating scene, but am really embarrassed of the smell of my bedroom. I wash the sheets regularly, but think its coming from the pillows and or mattress cover. Maybe mattress itself? I work out a lot and its not uncommon for me to sweat in my sleep. If the smell is noticable to me then I imagine it's got to be overpowered. I've heard it smells like other men's bedrooms, so I ask the floor. What do you do about this?\nMy bedroom smells like a locker room. How do I get rid it?",
"chosen": "Wash your curtains and carpet. They're the biggest filters in your house that often get overlooked. You could always sprinkle some baking soda on your mattress or your mattress pad and then vacuum it off. It'll absorb the oils and smell from them. If you feel like needs more you could go into some Febreze or OdorBan afterwards\n",
"rejected": "Buy a new bed and pillows and blanket. If you have carpeting, rip it out\n"
},
{
"query": "I keep reading about some women getting pissed at their men for watching porn. I imagine it has to do with the actresses looking so beautiful. The guys in porn don't always look great, but there are some stunners for sure. However, you never see guys complaining about their women watching porn. What gives? Do guys get insecure about their wives/girlfriends watching hot guys in porn?\nHow do you feel about your SO watching porn?",
"chosen": "I've never really considered the women in porn to be the epitome of beauty by any means. They often look quite washed up. Depends on the porn though I suppose.\n\nI'm a woman who doesn't care if her SO watches porn. I've made it apparent I watch porn to my SO, but I don't really discuss specifics with him. He's never expressed distaste for the fact I watch porn.\n",
"rejected": "I love the answers in this thread. It couldn't be more opposite from the thread on askwomen.\n"
},
{
"query": "I have noticed that it's extremely common for men to refer to their ex-girlfriends or ex-wives as \"crazy\". I hear it all the time.\n\nI'm not pointing the finger at men for talking trash about their exes or for oversimplifying the relationship problems by proclaiming \"She was crazy!\" (Women are just as guilty. The go-to adjective for a woman's ex seems to be \"jerk.\") But why isn't the most common negative adjective for female exes something else, like \"selfish\", \"mean\", \"shallow\", etc.?\n\nTL;DR: What do so many women do in relationships that make their exes call them \"crazy\"?\nWhy do men so often call their ex-girlfriends \"crazy\"? (27/F)",
"chosen": "There are several unrelated reasons.\n\nI think first and foremost, it's societally conditioned that men repress or at least carefully regulate their emotions. Whereas it is okay for women to express their emotions freely. As emotions are, by their very nature, irrational, men who are conditioned to cold logic are going to use the catch-all word \"crazy.\" This might also explain why women's go-to is \"jerk,\" as the coldness can be seen as jerkish.\n\n\nSecond, the phrase \"don't stick your dick in crazy\" needs to be uttered because crazy is pretty good in bed. A lot of men are going to have an ex with some sort of stability issues because, let's face it, unstable partners mean novelty and excitement and great stories for your friends.\n\nThird, men seek attractive women. Attractive people, in general, don't have to work as hard as plain or ugly people, don't face as many negative consequences and are generally less beholden to deliver or comport themselves in a certain way. I'd posit that since attractive people are less compelled to develop a personality, some of them just don't bother and remain in a vapid, nascent, childlike/impulsive state. Since men tend to disproportionately select for physical attractiveness over personality in their 20s, and since the physically attractive have a disproportionately high number of snotty brats, men are going to see that effect multiplied and wonder why they're dealing with such an irrational (= \"crazy\") mentality.\n\nAs a corollary to this, I think if you asked /r/AskMenOver30 you will find a different view than /r/AskMen, since some of us wise up and realize that there's more to life than JUST good looks and if we had snotty exes, it's our fault for not having more balanced selection criteria.\n",
"rejected": "Throwing a cell phone at someones head is crazy\n"
},
{
"query": "As a 34-year-old, I'm still pretty young. But something that held me back in life for a long time that I struggled with was **seeking validation outside of myself**. I had to change the way my mind processed emotions and feelings to take back control of my life. Lots of gym time, and 80+ books later I'm in a better place. My 20s would have been a lot different knowing this info and pushing myself to learn it earlier.\n\n Let's see if we can help some of these younger men with some pro tips on growth! - And No, telling yourself to buy Bitcoin or winning lottery tickets doesn't count. Think self-improvement, not money.\nOlder men of Reddit with some life experience, what do you wish you could go back and teach your younger self, that would have helped improve your life sooner than later?",
"chosen": "I’m 14 so I probably shouldn’t be posting, but keep your hopes up and don’t take criticism from someone you would take advice from. If I had learned that sooner I would’ve been better off\n",
"rejected": "Stop wasting time pursuing women who aren’t interested in you. Reality is not a fairytale or Hollywood movie. By being nice, devoted, and loving towards her, she will not suddenly realize one day that you were the right guy for her all along. You will only end up wasting months/years pining over someone who doesn’t care about you in that way. Stop wasting your life away and give your energy and emotions to the women who are actually interested in you.\n"
},
{
"query": "I know where I'd ideally live if I only had to worry about myself, but I never considered if that choice would be the same if I had kids.\nParents of /r/askmen, if you had the funds to move your immediate family anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?",
"chosen": "I'd stay right where I am. I'm too tied down with my job, extended family, and friends. If Trump wins the election, I'll reconsider.\n",
"rejected": "Canada.\n"
},
{
"query": "My (28M) girlfriend (26F) is very curious about my phone. Whenever I am not there she picks it up. Other than the usual pw protected pron folder, I do not have any incriminating on it. She knows I use it to wank off when we don't have sex. But, how worried should I be that she constantly goes through my shit?\nWhat are your thoughts about giving your wife/gf access to your cell phone?",
"chosen": "My wife has access to my phone and email, and I to hers. We don't go rifling through them looking for incriminating nonsense - it's so we can mange medical bills, renewals, etc.\n\nWe've been married long since before the advent of cell phones, and eventually one of us is going to die.\n\nWe have a friend who recently was widowed - and she's having a heck of a time because her husband did not leave her critical information, like bank account passwords or his phone password - so when confirmations are sent to his phone, she can't get them.\n",
"rejected": "Nope. Tell her to get her hands off your phone. It's just disrespectful. Even if you don't have anything to hide is a matter of personal space and privacy\n\nBeing in a couple doesn't mean that you have to share every little detail. \n\nMy husband knows my passcode and I know his, doesn't mean I have any idea of what's on his phone, if he wants to share something he just shows me\n"
},
{
"query": "I find it very difficult to mention it explicitly that I would like her to pay for what she ordered, and in such cases I end up paying it all. Fortunately though, about half of my dates have offered to split on their own. Still, how to go about the other half who don't.\nWhen going on a date, how do you convey to the the girl that you would like to split the bill?",
"chosen": "Ah, that’s kinda tricky. In my experience women appreciate chivalry and guys that just take care of the check. Not saying there aren’t those that prefer to pay their half. Just not sure there’s a polite way to split it without seeming cheap. What about doing things that don’t cost a lot? Picnic?\n",
"rejected": "\"Hey, you cool if we split the bill?\"\n"
},
{
"query": "I’ll start:\n\nr/antiMLM = r/stay at home moms who got duped into selling Mary Kay for a month\n\nr/ExpectationVsReality = r/wow I can’t believe frozen dinners don’t look exactly how they do on the box \n\nr/politics = r/liberals\nMen, how would you more accurately rename certain subreddits if you had the chance?",
"chosen": "r/uncensorednews = r/heavilycensoredrumors\n",
"rejected": "r/overwatch should be renamed r/saltwatch\n"
},
{
"query": "For when girls say it while you're just trying to strike up a casual conversation. Doesn't even have to be flirting.\nWhat's your comeback to \"I have a boyfriend\"?",
"chosen": "\"He's a lucky man\" continue conversation, or bow out if she didn't want to talk.\n",
"rejected": "Her: \"I have a boyfriend\"\n\nYou: \"I have a math test tomorrow\"\n\nHer: ???\n\n\nYou: \"Oh sorry, I thought we were talking about things we're both cheating on\". With a cheeky wink. \n\n&nbsp;\n\n Boom.\n"
},
{
"query": "Preferably in a romantic context, what made you go \"oh fuck\" and realise it wasn't going to work\nMen, what's the first thing a girl said/did in their first conversation with you that immediately made you go \"oh no\"?",
"chosen": "To me it's signs of ignorance. I don't mean not knowing things; I mean being proud of it.\n",
"rejected": "*\"I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.\"*\n\nAnnnnd we're done. \n\nIn college, for some reason, I only attracted these kinds of women. Not sure what it was, maybe because I was a relative loner who looked kinda sad all the time and they thought I'd be an easy target to bring into their ~~cult~~ church group? I dunno.\n"
},
{
"query": "A coworker asked me what \"that\" smell was today, and given her height, I'd guesstimate she was smelling my rank feet from roughly five and a half feet away. Y'know, given the distance between her nostrils and my terrible, awful smelling feet - which, by the way, are covered by shoes coupled with socks washed in good smelling Gain detergent. \n\nI've tried \"tough-actin\" Tinactin. \nI've tried Odor Eaters.\nI've tried smell-good balls in my shoes overnight.\n\nI mean, I need my feet. I'm a clean guy. I sweat a lot in general, but I shower daily, too - with soap and everything. \n\nWhat else can I do?\nBrothers, My Foot Odor is Something Serious, What Can I Do?",
"chosen": "Start with your shoes - are they new or have you been wearing them a while? Shoes can grow smelly bacteria in them just like feet. If they're getting rank, I would replace them and use odor-x powder in them every few days. The powder absorbs moisture to keep them dry so they don't culture bacteria. Then figure out what's up with your feet. If it is athlete's foot, hit your feet hard with an antifungal every day. Use one with a different active ingredient than the one you usually use, the fungus may have become resistant. Follow the instructions on the tube to the letter, they want you to use it for a while to ensure you totally kill the fungus. Make sure you don't have toenail fungus, that requires special treatment other than a cream. Once you have the fungus whipped, turn your attention to the bacteria (source of the smell, usually.) Bacteria love dark, warm, moist environments. You can't do anything about the first two, but you can fix the third. Keeping your feet dry should be priority. Get breathable socks, and breathable shoes. Use powder in your socks to keep your feet dry. Obviously, wash your feet every day with soap and water. Antibacterial soap can be hard on your skin, so only use it if the odor is getting away from you.\n",
"rejected": "Would you take the experiences of a girl who is obsessed with her feet who has dated guys with stinky feet? If so, maybe you can make it through this--It will be long.\n\nThe number one problem with most guys is that they wear the same shoes very frequently and the shoes themselves are absolute vile petri dishes of bacteria, fungus, and viruses. I am aware that we girls often own TOO MANY shoes. Most of your girlfriends will seem like versions of Imelda Marcos. But you guys usually don't own enough shoes. There is a happy medium. You need a couple more pairs of shoes and you need to start tossing out your stinkiest pairs. If you aren't sure if they smell, just ask a girl.\n\nThere is fungus/bacteria growing in your socks and it is still there after you have washed them. That is a big problem for all your new shoes, which will be also petri dishes within one day. I hope you have your own washer because the cure will be easier if you do. Don't bother with clorox. It eats up your socks, you can't use it on colored dress socks, and it doesn't work. \n\nGo buy a few of those large gallon or more containers of white vinegar. Bottom shelf in the salad dressing aisle. $2 plus change for a huge container. Start using it with your socks, underwear, and towels. You don't think those are infected because you are a dude. As a girl, let me tell you, I have hardly dated a guy who didn't have problems with all three of those. They just didn't realize it. \n\nI wash these groups of things separately from other, each type by themselves. Only towels. Only socks. Only underwear. \n\nWash with detergent and rinse as usual. Then fill washer with water enough to cover the clothes (if you are using a pay washing machine then take the totally washed and spun laundry home (don't bother to dry it) and soak at home in water/white vinegar then bring back the next day. Sorry, do you want to get rid of the fungus or not?) and add lots of vinegar. How much depends on the amount of water but basically if you stick your hands in the water-vinegar, they \n"
}
] | 1
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000141143798828125,
"logprob2": -4.625,
"signal": 4.624858856201172
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00005269050598144531,
"logprob2": -9,
"signal": 8.999947309494019
}
| 4.375088
| 14
|
2837
|
[
{
"query": "I'm a male. I'm 21. I've been told by multiple people my entire life that I'm too nice. They say things like, \"You're too nice. I like you, but you're too nice. You're way too nice.\" I'm told by multiple people that I'm extremely polite and that I'm the sweetest person they ever met. But people also tell me, you shouldn't be too nice.\n\nI'm honestly just being myself.\n\nWhy is being too nice a bad thing?\nPeople say I'm too nice like it's a bad thing. How can I change that?",
"chosen": "Here comes the entirety of the manosphere. \n\nIgnore anyone who uses the term “nice guy” “alpha” or “beta”— don’t turn your rejection into a hatred of women. Rise above the scorned third wave feminist and the enraged sexless young male.\n\nA woman who doesn’t want you to be kind to her is not a woman who likes you. Find a woman who likes you and never allow these comments to change you. You’re fine how you are. There is no such thing as too nice.\n\nA woman who cared about you would tailor their critique.\n\nInstead of ignoring these comments, a lot of guys internalize the idea that they are weak. Any radical group comes from feelings is inadequacy. Seek to feel good enough and dismiss those who seek to lessen you or tear you down.\n",
"rejected": "Too nice for what? What an odd comment. Be nice. It's nice.\n"
},
{
"query": "Merlin Bird ID, every bird in North America in just a few questions, or by photo or sound.\n\n PlantNet, identify a plant from a photo of bark, leaf, or flower.\n\nI also keep topo maps of my area in jpg format. I got them direct from the US Geological Survey website. They have free downloads in a variety of formats.\nBrothers, what are some awesome or useful apps on your phone?",
"chosen": "I like Flightradar24. It’s cool to see what airplanes are flying right over you, their altitude, when/ where they took off from, where they’re headed etc.\n",
"rejected": "Radio Garden. \n\nInstant access to thousands of radio stations around the world.\n"
},
{
"query": "I just got married over the weekend, and I'd like to hear some of AskMen's advice and perspective! I know my wife pretty well (we've been together for eight years) but I'm curious to hear some other experiences.\n\nWhat are some of the little things you will do to make it work? What do you do to make her feel special? How do you guys approach the relationship in regards to longevity? Money? Sex? In-laws? What are your experiences?\nMarried men of AskMen, what do you do to be a good husband?",
"chosen": "I wake up at 5:30am with my 2y/o son and play duplo so my wife can sleep for another couple hours\n",
"rejected": "I keep my shit together when things go wrong.\n\nI handle the hard stuff.\n\nI be the unwavering rock in the face of adversity that she wants.\n\nI take care of the house.\n\nI'm a good father to our son.\n\nI keep \"dating\" her, despite being married for 11 years.\n\nI work hard to make things better for our family.\n\nI fuck her right, fuck her often, and I make sure to throw in some spontaneity.\n\nI hit the gym, keep in shape, and maintain my appearance to make sure I *stay* fuckable.\n\nI let her know as often as possible that she's one of the best things that ever happened to me.\n"
},
{
"query": "This is adapted from Chuck Klosterman's Hypertheticals: \n\n\"You have won a prize. The prize has two options, and you can choose either (but not both). The first option is a year in Europe with a monthly stipend of $2,000. The second option is ten minutes on the moon. Which option do you select?\"\n\nI'm curious how answers split between men and women. I posted to /r/askwomen too.\nMen of Reddit: One year in Europe with a $2,000/month stipend or 10 minutes on the moon?",
"chosen": "Have you seen the women on The Moon? Fuck The Moon.\n\nHave you seen the women of Europe?\n\nCase closed.\n",
"rejected": "The moon. I'm pretty sure that two minutes spent gather moon-rock, or taking pictures, or writing someone's name in the dust, or appearing afterward on a talkshow, would be worth more than $24,000. \n\nPlus, it's the moon.\n"
},
{
"query": "(Seen on r/askwomen, thought it might be fun to see how the responses might be different)\nSatan opens \"Heck,\" the less severe circles of Hell. What goes on there my dudes, aside from the obvious unadulterated thermostat tampering?",
"chosen": "Try as you might, your shoes are never tied at equal tightness.\n",
"rejected": "You have to sit next to the most beautiful demoness in Heck for 2 hours. All the while you have to fart.\n"
},
{
"query": "I think living in New York City makes having a small dresser almost close to impossible. We get really hot dinners and frigid winters. Therefore, I'm packing for temperatures as hot as 80 to 90 degrees and as cold as negatives and everything in between.\n\nSo that's many, many, t-shirts, jeans, activewear, workwear, casual clothes, comfy clothes, sweaters, hoodies, and jackets, multiple of them.\n\nNot to mention socks and boxers.\n\nSo how large is your wardrobe?\nHow large is your wardrobe?",
"chosen": "I'm currently reworking my wardrobe, also in NYC area. Here are the high points:\n\n* Five suits \n* Five blazers\n* About a dozen sweaters\n* Two or three dozen button-up shirts\n* Six pairs of chinos\n* Four pairs of jeans\n* Eight pairs of sweatpants\n* Nineteen pairs of shoes (three dress pair, two pairs of boots, three pair of athletic/fitness shoes, and the remainder casual sneakers)\n* One large winter coat\n* Two overcoats\n* Two leather jackets\n* Casual athletic jacket\n* Miscellaneous (hats, ties, pocket squares, socks, undershirts, underwear, etc)\n\nI'm currently getting rid of some button-up shirts, suits, and shoes while looking to pick up some casual shorts.\n",
"rejected": "3 jackets, 3 tshirts, 2 jeans, 3 socks, 4 underwear, 1 suit, 1 pair of shoes. \n\nI'm a very simple person who wears the same style of clothes no matter the weather.\n"
},
{
"query": "In the past couple years I've met a lot of newly-single women and newly-transplanted women whose go-to for meeting new people and making friends is yoga. \n\nFellas, what do we have that correlates to \"yoga\" to meet new people and friends in a new area. I'm new(ish)ly single, in my late 30's, living in a city where I have few friends (St Louis). I desperately want to be social and meet people.\n\nWhat's worked for you? What ideas do you have?\nSingle women have yoga. Men, what do we have to make friends when we're single and in a new city?",
"chosen": "Yoga is not only great for your body but also your overall mental health. It isn't just exclusive for women. If anything it is a great place to meet new people, male and female, and make friends who share similar interests to you. (Health, fitness, etc.)\n",
"rejected": "What hobbies are you involved in? Find the local source of those hobbies.\n"
},
{
"query": "Just curious to hear from a man's perspective. What is something that can ruin a girl for you, even if everything else is otherwise great. Smoker, nose picker, serial killer, puts the TP on backwards, whatever.\nWhat is something that can ruin a woman for you. Otherwise you're interested, but this one trait kills it.",
"chosen": "Drug use aside from (limited) drinking, willful or prideful ignorance (and yes, that would include something like believing in astrology), being needlessly cruel, and not being able to properly communicate their feelings or wants.\n",
"rejected": "Shitty driver, too many sex partners.\n"
},
{
"query": "Im 20, I'm single by choice, I been single since August and I personally like it. I can talk to whoever I want, and do whatever I want. I am still looking for another relationship, but I'm not going crazy about it. Just enjoying life, meeting new people, and see what happens from that.\nWhy are you single?",
"chosen": "I'm 5'7, picky as fuck, extremely averse to attachment, don't drink alcohol anymore and thus not too fond of parties, busy with med school and prone to frequent periods of self-imposed isolation. Honestly, it's a miracle I can still remember what a pussy smells like.\n",
"rejected": "Because I make zero efforts towards pursuing girls\n"
},
{
"query": "You're Still the One by Shania Twain \n\nShe Will be Loved and Sunday Morning by Maroon 5. \n\nPuts me in such a fabulous mood, I don't care if they are considered girly.\nWhat \"girly\" songs do you listen to that you sing aloud to, not caring about being judged?",
"chosen": "Any Pitch Perfect song. (covers of real songs)\n\nA lot of Katy Perry\n\nA thousand miles by ~~what's her name~~ Vanessa Carlton (thanks /u/robocop12). Idk the one that's like \"makin my way downtown, walking fast, faces past and I'm homebound.\" *piano shreds*\n",
"rejected": "I threw a wish in the well\n\ndon't ask me I'll never tell\n\nI looked to you as it fell\n\nand now you're in my way\n\n\n*20 secons later*\n\n\n**SOOO CALLL MEE MAAAYBEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!11!!!1111**\n"
}
] | 2
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000015020370483398438,
"logprob2": -8,
"signal": 7.999984979629517
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000031948089599609375,
"logprob2": -7.25,
"signal": 7.2499680519104
}
| -0.750017
| 7
|
34380
|
[
{
"query": "So I’m a woman and I saw someone’s bio listing what he wants in a woman, and he’s trying to match with me. He can’t even spell very well , I just have to correct his English when I’m typing what he said . \nIt goes like this :\n\n‘I’m a straight single uncle, 41 years old, son, brother , no kids.\n\nI’m looking for women that are willing to put in the work in herself to be bride worthy and wife material. I need a wife that loves/lives for/believes in Christ and put him first. Her dress size must be fit (3-10), no single mothers, no 304s (meaning no Hoes), not in debt , very submissive , very generous with money and SHE MUST BE A VIRGIN!!!\n\n\nIs this crazy or there are actually men like this ? Forgive me but he looks like a frog !!\nA man’s Bio on a dating site..",
"chosen": "I like how he has to state no single moms on TOP of the virgin requirement.\n",
"rejected": "I think this is a joke. Cannot be real, LOL\n"
},
{
"query": "The 9m old baby is crying, I’ve had him all day. We’ve done everything we can possibly do. The anti-depressants make me feel so numb. My husband is taking the baby out for a walk. I feel like if he wasn’t here I’d smash my head into a wall. How do you get through this??\nWhy do I feel this way😫",
"chosen": "Besides what everyone else mentioned about speaking with a doctor, it’s really good your husband is taking the baby out. Today at my daughters 1 month appointment I scored a little low on the postpartum test and the doctor said I need to spend more time without the baby, especially during her “witching hour” she literally screams her head off from 5pm-10pm and nothing helps. The doctor said there’s no point for my husband and I to both be there the whole time while she cries. So now I don’t feel guilty taking a long shower, going for a walk, or closing the door in my room and watching the for a bit. If your husband can keep giving you a break throughout the day so you can do something that brings you a little joy keep doing that! Also make sure you’re getting enough rest 💙\n",
"rejected": "I really liked head phones and a solid playlist. Exercise, time alone to recharge.. \n\nIt’s hard. It really is. Some days I just refuse to zoom out and see it all from afar because if I do that I’ll go crazy so I just zoom in and focus on just the next right thing to do. It’s like one long double shift at the worst restaurant in town 😅. You’ll get through it\n"
},
{
"query": "My personal thoughts, up for agreement/ disagreement and anything in between:\n\n1. I'm not a cow\n2. Even if I was a cow, that would be rude\n\nI'm currently working on a list of my thoughts but those are the first two that came to mind. Would appreciate any further thoughts.\nThoughts on the saying, \"why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?\" when used in a dating context",
"chosen": "I don't like it. It's the statement of someone inconsiderate, selfish and cowardly. You think it's ok to keep someone hanging on for your own convenience and that's disrespectful.\n",
"rejected": "Why buy the bull when you can get the bullshit for free?\n"
},
{
"query": "I have 6 and keep a written list when I change them out so I don’t use some of them too often and others too sparingly.\nHow many sheet sets do you own?",
"chosen": "2 sheet sets and ~10 pillowcases bc I change them more frequently. I live alone in a studio with one closet—not wasting space on bed linens.\n",
"rejected": "I have 2 summer sets, 2 spring/fall sets and 2 winter sets.\n\nSummer is bamboo \n\nSpring/Fall is high thread count cotton.\n\nWinter is flannel.\n"
},
{
"query": "Hello everyone! Long time lurker here. I'm coming out of the shadows to ask for some advice. My husband and I have been together for 11 years and married for 8 years and ever since we got married, we've had an ongoing issue between us. He tells me that I don't compliment him enough. I thank him for doing things around the house and when he goes out of his way to do little things for me. He says I never thank him for going to work or telling him he's smart or telling him he's good at anything. I know he has some insecurities especially about his career(s) and he's told me that he's felt like a failure in life because he hasn't accomplished anything - his words, not mine. We've had our share of disagreements over this issue because we just don't see eye to eye on this. I don't feel like I should thank him for going to work because it's just something we have to do to pay bills and survive. As far as telling him he's smart and he's good at things, of course I have told him this many times but he says I need to do it more often. For as often as he feels like he needs to hear it, I feel like it would become routine and artificial from my perspective just to keep him from bringing it up and prevent us from fighting about it. He's told me I need to tell him multiple times a week that he's smart and that I need to thank him for working. I'm not a kiss-ass at work or in general and I don't want to be one at home either. At work and in social situations, I compliment and thank people appropriately. I'm aware that I'm probably being stubborn about this issue but I really feel like it goes against my character. I'm not a person that requires a lot of compliments or positive reinforcement. I don't expect to be thanked for being a productive member of society. And frankly, when someone compliments me, especially if it's in front of a large group of people, it makes me incredibly uncomfortable because I don't like being the center of attention. It's gotten to the point that I am resentful and spiteful about it and that's not helping the situation either. Has anyone had similar experiences with their SO? Am I being unreasonable? Should I just get over it and tell him the things he needs to hear?\nHow often do you compliment your SO?",
"chosen": "I have recently started complimenting my husband a lot more than I used to. He's super smart, super hot and a great dad so it's easy to find things to compliment him on. He had a 9 month affair that started almost 2 years ago and a huge part of why he had so much trouble ending things with her was how she made him feel. She stroked his ego in a way I wasn't doing and he craved that external validation. I was purposely holding back the compliments because at times I felt he was cocky and I didn't want to feed the ego and make his head bigger. I now realize he is more insecure than I thought he was and he does need that external validation at times. It's easy for me to do and our relationship during this time where we are rebuilding our marriage after an affair is much more loving than it has been in many years. I have to believe that my attitude, compliments and appreciation towards him have contributed to that.\n",
"rejected": "This is a tricky one, because as an outsider it is tough to be able to tell whether your husband is seeking more verbal affirmation in general, or if he's trying to use your compliments to prop himself up in areas where he feels particularly insecure. The latter is an issue, because nothing you can say will ever be enough-if he doesn't believe he is smart, he'll never believe it when you say it, even if it does make him feel temporarily better, which may be why he wants you to tell him so often. I can see why you'd worry about insincerity and resentment in that scenario. But, as someone else commented, verbal affirmation is a love language, and perhaps he is just trying to fill this need. Could you start out by trying to come up with a sincere compliment every day? It doesn't have to be on his intelligence or work ethic - find something you truly appreciate and convey it. Over time, his requests may lessen. If they don't, it's probably a good indication that it's a personal thing, and you can then gently work to help him realize he needs to work on his own self esteem.\n"
},
{
"query": "Over the last year, my wife (26/mtf/\"M\") has been slowly coming out to the closer family members. I posted months ago her coming out to her Mom and it went well...did not go well with her stepfather but that's another story... \nTime finally came to tell the wild card.\n\nHer Dad was coming to visit from across country for Thanksgiving which we were excited and nervous about. Excited because we don't see him often. Nervous because of having to tell him on top of M having been on hormones for almost 6 months and we don't think she's going to be able to hide her transition much longer... The original plan was to send it to him in the mail, but he was in a serious motorcycle accident the day before M was going to send it out.. so it got forced delayed a few months.\n\nTime comes, he shows up, kids were ecstatic, he finally met some of my family, it was all nice really. He was still a mess from the accident so he wasn't too lively. Saturday morning, when he was about to head back home, M shakely slipped him the letter and said don't open it until you get home. Said okay and went on his way.\n\n*\n\nHeard nothing from him until today. He messages me and asks if we can set up a time to talk alone, not with M... \n\n\n\n...I have no idea what I'm in for. I'm in over my head. Not only am I nervous cause phonecalls fluster me and I am not a well spoken person verbally but because I can't predict or plan for what he might say or what kind of things he might ask or hell, even what the tone of the conversation might be.\n\nM and I have been together 6 years and I don't know her father all that well on a personal level. I had to build a mental profile on him based off of stories from M, like the teenage years and how he's a control freak and every little thing M tried to do to express herself, he wouldn't let happen or would raise hell about it. Granted, that was 10+ years ago and he's seemed to calm down a bit over the years but he will still make comments to M about certain things. (Ex. We went to a wedding with him over the summer and he had to make known to her that her grey button up and dark wash jeans were not appropriate. And get a haircut cause her hair is getting too long.. [I have bright pink hair and was wearing a pine green HP themed dress and I think combat boots.... If anything, I was the inappropriately dressed one]).\n\n\nB U T\n\n\nI'm going to call him tomorrow night... I'm nervous... I keep fearing I'm going to get eaten alive. Like I'm not going to represent M or her life properly or I'm not going to convay what I really need to properly or he's going to 'make a comment' or say something a certain way and I wont know how to respond effectively... Yeah, I can send him to M for any clarifications but I feel like he's coming to me first for a reason.... I'm just worried y'all.\n\n\n\nTL;DR wife came out to her father through letter, he wants to have a one on one with me about it; no idea how this is going to pan out\nHer dad finally got the coming out letter... And wants to talk",
"chosen": "When I've had really tough phone calls in the past, I've asked my partner to sit beside me as support. I didn't ask them to speak up or say anything at all; The simple act of having them close by in case I had a panic attack or needed to vent while the call was muted made a huge difference.\n\nIs there any way you could have the same? Assuming your wife knows about the phone call anyway, she'll want to know how it went after the fact. This would allow her to hear everything for herself and give you some amount of support through this.\n\nIf that's not an option, my suggestion is to figure out ahead of time (on your own and with your wife) what your boundaries are in the conversation. What topics are off limits? What questions/answers will get an instant \"I'm sorry you feel that way, but I'm not having this conversation\" from you? Knowing these ahead of time can make any situation easier to handle.\n\nI wish you much luck with this. Take care of yourself and I hope the conversation goes smoothly. <3\n",
"rejected": "How about this. Let him talk, if it gets uncomfortable. Cut him short, let him know you heard him and will get back to him on it. Then you can think about how you want to respond and write him back. ?\n"
},
{
"query": "Or is it just me?\nLong before I took the witch path, I always felt very very tired, taking naps or sleeping very early and it turns out it's the full moon. I would also feel very horny about 2 days before (or super energetic but that ends up in big naps as well?).\n\nHow come?\nDoes anyone else feel extremely tired/excited/horny on full moons?",
"chosen": "If you have a 28 day menstrual cycle, it could also have to do with that. I ovulate around the full moon, and that usually comes with an elevated state of arousal.\n",
"rejected": "I've been feeling hyper sexual for the last few months and really haven't figured out why.\n"
},
{
"query": "I am single, no kids. No fancy career, just an office job that pays the rent. I have some hobbies I like to do and I exercise. I tried to join a Universal Unitarian group because I liked their mission, but they were... church-ier than I expected (seriously, why adhere to such a traditional Christian structure? Blew my mind). I wasn't comfortable with it. All the other places I've tried to volunteer for just want me to run their social media accounts (bleh).\n\nI don't know. I just feel like I'm not doing anything significant with my life. I believe life is this amazing thing, like the universe gave us this amazing one-time chance... and I'm wasting it. But I don't know what to do with it besides continue to dither around with my hobbies.\n\nWhich is... fine, I guess. I don't really want to be lying on my deathbed thinking \"that was fine, I guess\" though.\nI feel like I'm not really doing anything with my life",
"chosen": "What are your hobbies? Are any of them useful skills that would be worth teaching to children in a mentoring type program?\n",
"rejected": "Think about what would make another person interesting to you. If you met an amazing guy tomorrow, what qualities would you find intriguing and fascinating about him and his life? Once you thought of a few things, go out and actually DO those yourself. Become the interesting person you want to date.\n\nI used to get into relationships with men because I loved their passion about their interests and hobbies. I loved how devoted they were to certain things. But over time, I realized I used them as surrogates to escape my own bland world. I wanted to BE them. And once I understood that, I took steps to become an interesting person myself. I read up on stuff online that captured me in some way, I took classes, I worked on being a person who enjoys certain things. I took note of what I respected in others - men AND women. I started saying to myself \"I want to be someone who makes excellent salads\", or \"I want to be the type of person who sits by a river for hours and reads a good book\", or \"I want to be the type of friend that people can trust to get an honest and direct opinion from\"...and then I just started taking measures to become that person I wanted to be and hoped to date one day. This really worked for me. Give it a try!\n"
},
{
"query": "Hi everyone, I got permission from the mods to do a quick promo for my new project. I'm a 39/m and I still like chat rooms sometimes. I like the Discord app, which if you don't know, is a new popular way to create and join chat rooms and keep them themed to certain topics or groups of people.\n\nSo my problem was, every room I joined was full of kids, talking about school or spamming gifs and memes. I couldn't relate to any of it. I wanted a chat server for grownup people to have grownup conversations, so I made one. It's a place to chat about things like TV or food or everyday work and family life. \n\nIf this sounds interesting to you, go to r/discordforgrownups where you will find an invite link to the Discord server. Discord is available as an app on your phone or as a website on your computer, so there's lots of ways to join in. Hope to see some of you there, thanks!\nWomen over 30, would you be interested in joining a Discord server for grownups?",
"chosen": "Clicking on your link takes me to a couple of other threads before I finally hit the Discord.\n\nIt's the same one I've checked out a couple of times. It's sparsely populated since it's so new and you're lucky if a single comment is made during a 20 minute interval. This makes it too difficult to have conversations, unfortunately. \n\nIt's a nice idea though.\n",
"rejected": "Nah, I don’t have time for chat rooms anymore. I’m just on Reddit to fill the idle minutes between work projects or on a commute. I don’t really have time or head space for actual back and forth conversations.\n"
},
{
"query": "Good discussions today about the climate and our environment on world stage. \n\nI'd like to hear your thoughts on what you doing on a small personal level? :) Maybe get some ideas and encouragement for each other\n\n🌸💐🌺🌻🌼🌷🏵🌹💮🌱🌲🌳🌷🍁🍀☘🌿🌾🌵🌴🍂🍃\nWhat are you doing about climate change?",
"chosen": "I've committed to not use pesticides and herbicides in my garden. I believe this is a very small thing, but it helps a little: \n\n* in early Spring, I leave the dandelions until other flowers appear, to give the first pollinators a chance\n\n* I plant milkweed. I haven't seen any monarch butterflies last year at all, but there's the hope for this year\n\n* yes the critters are eating up my cherry tree and lettuce, but there are wasps helping out, and I'm 'okay with a bit of loss\n",
"rejected": "Ok, i'll just put it out there since this is a women's sub and it's something i feel has a huge environmental impact for landfill, I use reusable feminine hygiene products. More comfortable, less dubious chemicals and much less plastic going into landfill. In addition to reusable lunch boxes, recycling, not using a clothes dryer, taking public transport, reducing food packaging, eating less beef etc. I live in a unit so can't really compost but we have been trying to grow some veggies in pots.\n"
}
] | 6
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000019073486328125,
"logprob2": -4.25,
"signal": 4.249998092651367
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000028252601623535156,
"logprob2": -4.375,
"signal": 4.3749717473983765
}
| 0.124974
| 3
|
2479
|
[
{
"query": "I’ve been intermittent fasting and going to the gym every other day for about 6 months. Lost like 20-25 pounds maybe, but my midsection seems exactly the same. I’m sure it’ll go away eventually, but how can I get that shit gone quicker?\nHow do I get rid of these love handles and belly fat?",
"chosen": "Calorie deficit\n\nIf your weight loss has plateaued you need to reduce calorie intake and up the exercise. Unfortunately you can’t target where fat is lost from\n\nHIIT, get that heart rate up and eat healthier, try and reduce sugar as much as you can\n",
"rejected": "It's the last bit of fat to go on most people. I have love handles if I'm even at 12% body fat. You need to get really lean sometimes.\n"
},
{
"query": "My wife's sister is a sophomore in college and has been sharing some godawful conversations she's had with guys she goes to school with. Many of them are crudely direct and have no game whatsoever. \n\nMy personal favorite is from a guy she just met, \"So you wanna come over and fuck?\"\n\nChrist man, take her out first.\nWhat are some cringe worthy ways young men today try and flirt with girls?",
"chosen": "Snapchatting a ton of selfies at her.\n",
"rejected": "sending dick pics. I don't get it. Does this actually work on some women? Is it just a numbers game at that point?\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm male and 19, and I've noticed that some younger girls I know through the child care program at my church (3rd-5th grade) have begun following me around while I work, and occasionally talking to me while blushing and trying not to giggle. They also spend a lot of time talking to my girlfriend, who also goes to our church but volunteers in a different child care room. What do I do? What have other guys done?\nDo younger girls ever have innocent crushes on you? How do you handle it?",
"chosen": "* Keep being you, its ok if the kids like you.\n\n* When with one of them, never leave the line of sight of another responsible adult. Things get unbelievably dangerous when you are alone with a child *particularly* when you are in a position of authority.\n\n* No physical contact. Yes, that five year old girl wants to give you a hug. Its totally innocent and heart-meltingly adorable, but don't do it. I know it sucks.\n\n* pray for the kids, be the best role model possible in terms of your relationships with others :) \n\n-fellow youth minister\n",
"rejected": "Yeah, my tutoring students. All were high school aged, between 14-18. They would try to take our sessions off track by talking about personal stuff. I was happy to talk about college etc, but only in an academic sense, ie what to expect from classes etc. I never talked about drinking, partying or anything not applicable to our professional relationship. I just made sure I did all my tutoring at their homes ONLY if a parent was present, or in a public space like a library or coffeeshop. That was part of my conditions for tutoring, and it definitely put the parents minds at ease that I took it that seriously. \n\nI never accepted Facebook requests if they asked during our time working together, though I have after the fact, but only after they were 18 and in college. I do like keeping track of my ex-students, they are friends, seeing them grow as people in college is pretty cool. I was 22 when I started and did it for 2 years, so I think they related with me a lot more than if I had been a really old tutor. I'm really proud of them, most have gotten into top schools, and I am happy to have helped them achieve their goals.\n"
},
{
"query": "I feel like this is an underrated topic that is hardly discussed with close male friends and family who are currently married. The opinions are always more communicated and stronger AFTER marriage. \n\nI am 32 years old and I have NEVER heard a currently married male friend or family member tell me stuff like, “I love being married” or “you should get married”. It’s always, “don’t get married “ or “don’t be in a rush, stay single”.\n\nIMO most men go along with marriage because their spouse wants it. Women are the gatekeepers of reproduction(the man’s desire for a family) and men are the gatekeepers of marriage(a fantasy fulfilled and stability for women). I don’t understand why men get married when they aren’t crazy about it in the first place, AND they have the most to lose if it doesn’t work out.\nMen, how many men in your life have recommended marriage?",
"chosen": "It’s such a Reddit idea that most men are against marriage. Go out in the real world and most dudes are aiming to settle down and get married one day.\n",
"rejected": "As a 34 year old who has been married for 13 years, I will say that marriage is awesome. I absolutely love being married (and I’m on Reddit so I’m not just saying it to make myself look good or make my wife believe that I’m happy). I wouldn’t have it any other way.\n\nWith that said, I think that a ton of people aren’t ready for marriage and I believe they shouldn’t get married. It all just depends on the person\n"
},
{
"query": "What are your opinions on shy, soft-spoken, and passive women under 30? Do you like them or do they annoy you? Would you prefer a woman who is more career-oriented, outspoken, strong, and independent?\nMen of Reddit, what do you think of shy, soft-spoken young women?",
"chosen": "Find them annoying. Speak up and stop being so timid.\n",
"rejected": "They're...human beings? \n\nPeople are just as capable of being career-oriented and strong and independent without yelling it from the rooftops. Hell, just because someone is soft spoken doesn't mean they're shy, say, it just means they speak quietly.\n"
},
{
"query": "I know sooooo many couples and literally none of them met in a way different to those two options. Either they met through similar friends or at work. Rarely through a shared hobby. \n\nBut I wonder how else someone could meet women. \n\nReally I have so many friends but for some reason theyre all either guys, in a relationship or very unattractive.\nMen of reddit, who didnt meet their girlfriend/wife through social circles or work; Where did it happen for you?",
"chosen": "Met through OKCupid.\n",
"rejected": "I work retail and my now-girlfriend came in one day and while helping her, I was just lightly joking around with her, poking fun at her a bit for not knowing what honeydew is. Apparently shed only ever heard them referred to as melons. As i finished ringing her up i said \"hey I dont mean to put you on the spot or anything but I really like your vibe, are you single?\" Got her number. Hung out 2 days later and everyday after that. She thought it was super hot that I had the confidence to just ask her out like that, and said I did it in a natural non creepy way. Tbh shes a bit outta my league but you miss 100% of the shots you dont take.\n"
},
{
"query": "My best friend (female) has been in an abusive relationship for a long time. She needs to get out. For background, everyone involved is 24 years old.\n\nI'll try to keep this short... The guy she is with is manipulative, controlling, and psychologically abusive. For years, it's been nothing but him yelling at her for doing nothing wrong. For example, she isn't \"allowed\" to have pictures of them together. Not on social media, not in print, nowhere. He keeps every picture. If she gets caught with a picture, he'll tear into her about how awful she is and how she doesn't care about his future.\n\nMost recently, he reamed her out because I offered to watch her cat while she was away for a night. I live 5 minutes away and he lives an hour away, it just made sense. He told her to \"leave him the hell alone\" for that weekend. Later that day, he called her. She didn't have her phone on and didn't answer. When she turned it back on, she had voicemails screaming at her for not answering and demanding that she come to his house right away. \n\nThe problem is that she thinks she deserves this. Every time she comes to me with a story about another fight, it ends with \"but I deserved it.\" Nothing I say to her is making a difference. All of her friends and family tell her the same things I tell her. She recently told me that this is just how relationships are supposed to be. She thinks that she \"doesn't deserve any more happiness than this\" because she's \"too awful to have anyone else.\" I think that deep down, she's afraid to leave him and afraid to be alone.\n\nIt genuinely tears me apart to see her treated like this because she's an amazing person. She has her faults, but no worse than you or I. How do I handle this situation?\nBest friend is in an abusive relationship... how do I step in?",
"chosen": "OP, I have three wonderful sisters that were also, for a very long time, stuck in an abusive relationship.\n\nHere's the harsh truth you won't want to hear - there isn't shit you *can* do. She's fucked in the head and idolizes this asshole. If you go against him, she will see you as the \"bad guy\" in the situation. What you have to do is just wait. You wait until she snaps out of it and gets out on her own. And then you try and get her back on track mentally again.\n\nIf you just remove the dude out of the picture, you won't accomplish anything. She'll just go for some other asshole. The problem isn't so much this guy, the problem is that she's attracted to that sort of guy. Let me guess, her father either wasn't around or is a prick? It's a shitty situation. Worst part is, she might be a lost cause OP. You need to accept that now. She may never get out of the mindset that she deserves someone shitty. And there might not be a thing you can do about it.\n\nI had to watch my sisters fuck themselves and their children up for years. It's not easy, assuming you do stick around you're in for some pain as an observer. It's hard watching a train wreck, especially when it takes years to come to a stop so you can survey the damage.\n\nGood luck OP. Here's to hoping that situation gets sorted out soon.\n",
"rejected": "Good luck with that. There is no happy ending to this, even if she leaves him. That's only the beginning.\n"
},
{
"query": "As clarification: Who would, in your opinion, give the best advice about dating boys?\nI often read on AM, \"Don't take advice from girls about girls\" Do you think the same is accurate about boys?",
"chosen": "I often say, men should never take dating advice from women, only take it from men who are successful with women. I believe the exact same thing is true from women. Only take advice from women who are successful with men.\n",
"rejected": "Women tend to give advice based on the assumption that attraction works the same way for men as it does for women. It also requires a certain first-person experience that simply isn't available to them. As such, I don't put much stock in it.\n\nAs for women taking dating advice from men, I tend to believe that men are likely to give you a blunt and direct answer to whatever you ask. However, you have to keep in mind that what you'll be getting is little more than reflection of that particular guy's personal preferences. You may or may not be able to apply that to your situation.\n\nTaking advice from people who are successful in dating can also be hit or miss, though. Some people are simply successful because they won the genetic lottery, and their entire experience is colored by an unrealistic worldview due to this. \n\nThat being said, I'd probably be a virgin at 37 if I had ever followed any of the dating advice women have given me.\n"
},
{
"query": "My family is Polish, and naturally my last name is hard to pronounce - let alone spell. I’m also assimilation complete as I identify as an American since I was born and raised here. I don’t even speak Polish. \n\nNormally this wouldn’t be much of an issue, but in my career (medical doctor), I’m going to be referred to by my last name by my patients almost exclusively. Some people in my life have mentioned that name recognition is actually pretty important in medicine, which makes me wonder if changing my name ( or at least truncating it) would be worth it. \n\nThoughts?\nMen with long, confusing ”ethnic” last names, what is your opinion on changing your name?",
"chosen": "Come up with something like Kal Penn or Kaling.\n\nSim Po. Shortened from simple pole, like Kal Penn.\n",
"rejected": "“If they can learn to say Tchaikovsky and Michelangelo and Dostoyevsky, they can learn to say Uzoamaka.”\n\nDon't change your name, teach people how to pronounce it. It's a great ice-breaker.\n"
},
{
"query": "Wondering what else you consider bad sex aside from the obvious such as her lying there like a corpse or bad hygiene etc.. What other things make it forgettable?\nWhat makes sex bad other than the obvious?",
"chosen": "When you're doing it, go to open mouth kiss, and bump teeth hard. It's a full stop kind of feeling. \n\nI have flashbacks to doing this once 10 years ago. I swear, it nearly ended my relationship.\n",
"rejected": "Having your dog stick his nose up in your ass.\n"
},
{
"query": "I just had sex with my girlfriend for the first time and I could really tell she isn't used to being on top because she almost snapped my dick in half about a dozen times. What are your stories?\n\nDid you throw your back out trying autofellatio, did you use super glue instead of lube, what happened?\nWhat are some of your best or worst sex related injuries?",
"chosen": "My girlfriend was riding me cowgirl one time and I decided to try and heat things even further by spanking her, I reached around too far and ended up smacking myself in the nuts mid coitus.\n",
"rejected": "Indirect, but: last year my boyfriend *broke his leg* eating me out!\n"
},
{
"query": "Btw I'm not actually a college dropout if you read my username\nIn my mid 20s, what books do you recommend for me to read?",
"chosen": "Alchemist, Shogun, Enders Game\n",
"rejected": "If you like fantasy, pretty much everything by Brandon Sanderson. \n\n(Start with Mistborn)\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm dating one of them, the other is his best friend.\n\nWhat should I know? How can I make them comfortable? They are smart/clean guys but I understand bro-time. How can I give them that but also feel at home?\n\nWhat would you like a girl living in your space to know/do?\nMoving in with 2 men as a female. What should I know?",
"chosen": "Pitch in on toilet paper or in some other way to cover the expense for toilet paper (cleaning, cooking, whatever). I know it seems small but I use like 1/5th the amount of toilet paper compared to any female roommate I've ever had.\n",
"rejected": "Here's my advice as a guy:\n\n* Don't try to redecorate their space. You can request the nudes get taken down, but don't try to change the Looney Tunes shower curtain to a flower design. \n* Don't have sex with his best friend. Don't even kiss him. Unless, of course, your boyfriend says it's okay. \n* Only be loud during sex if the roommate is out or occupied himself. He doesn't need to be reminded he isn't getting any.\n* Accept that cleaning will come AFTER gaming/tv/masturbation. It isn't a priority that needs attended to now.\n* Have a plan in place for if things get serious and you and your boyfriend decide on marriage. ie: Who gets the apartment or how will the lease be paid. The solo guy will need to have time to find a new home.\n"
},
{
"query": "A friend asked the other day what I was up to that evening. \n\nI told him I was going to read a book, he laughed. Blokes don’t read books he said. \n\nSo do you read books, if so what are you reading right now?\nWhat book are you reading right now ?",
"chosen": "How To Build a Car - Autobiography of Adrian Newey. It deals with his career as a designer in Formula 1. \n \nThe Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad \n \nThe Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya - Nagaru Tanigawa \n \nNormally I have a few books in rotation at the same time. One usually pretty serious, one a bit lighter, and one where I don't have to think about much.\n",
"rejected": "‘Blood Meridian’\n\nSuper brutal Cormac McCarthy book.\n"
},
{
"query": "So me and my girl love to watch scary/horror/thrillers. What are your favorites, let’s hear em\nWhat are some good scary/horror movies?",
"chosen": "The Exorcist\n\nCarrie (1976)\n\nThe Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)\n\nThe Changeling (1983)\n\nLet the Right One In\n",
"rejected": "Event Horizon……sci-fi horror\n"
},
{
"query": "I do admin for my company and sit at the front desk so I always receive our packages. I'd like to receive a different package, if you're picking up what I'm putting down. \n\nI'm all for being forward and not waiting for the guy to make the first move. We always make eyes at each other but he's only ever in for a minute or so. Today he complimented my shoes so I think he wants to bone. \n\nI normally would just ask a guy if he wanted to grab a drink sometime, but it feels weird in this situation being that I'm at work and he's working too. All I can think of are inappropriate, bad jokes about receiving packages that I wouldn't actually say anyway.\nHow do I ask out the FedEx guy at work?",
"chosen": "Bend and snap?\n",
"rejected": "This is how my parents met. Mom was at front desk, dad was UPS man. So I suggest changing delivery services to UPS and then hitting on *that* guy.\n\nBut in all seriousness you could just ask him if he wants to grab a drink sometime. If you sign for packages make some small talk \"any plans for the weekend\" and then say \"if your free and want to grab a drink heres my number\" or something.\n"
}
] | 3
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0001239776611328125,
"logprob2": -5.125,
"signal": 5.124876022338867
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000020265579223632812,
"logprob2": -8.125,
"signal": 8.124997973442078
}
| 3.000122
| 12
|
5400
|
[
{
"query": "My (28M) girlfriend (26F) is very curious about my phone. Whenever I am not there she picks it up. Other than the usual pw protected pron folder, I do not have any incriminating on it. She knows I use it to wank off when we don't have sex. But, how worried should I be that she constantly goes through my shit?\nWhat are your thoughts about giving your wife/gf access to your cell phone?",
"chosen": "My wife has access to my phone and email, and I to hers. We don't go rifling through them looking for incriminating nonsense - it's so we can mange medical bills, renewals, etc.\n\nWe've been married long since before the advent of cell phones, and eventually one of us is going to die.\n\nWe have a friend who recently was widowed - and she's having a heck of a time because her husband did not leave her critical information, like bank account passwords or his phone password - so when confirmations are sent to his phone, she can't get them.\n",
"rejected": "If she needs it I have no problem giving her access… I’m not hiding anything\n\nBut what isn’t ok is if she is going to snoop through my phone to see if I’m hiding anything. That’s not cool\n"
},
{
"query": "I just realized yesterday that I start getting my junk out *on the way* to the bathroom because it saves time. Jesus Christ.\nMen - What kind of weird bachelor shit have you started to do after living alone for awhile?",
"chosen": "Childless couples do 90% of this shit ITT.\n",
"rejected": "I just leave toilet paper at my computer desk for wacking off. It feels weird as fuck, as if I've lost any standard of living whatsoever, but it's just so convenient. \n\nLeaving dirty dishes in my bedroom is probably another bachelor thing, although I doubt it's that weird or uncommon. Currently there is a plate on the floor with a couple half eaten pizza crusts from a 4 cheese brick oven I cooked last night.\n"
},
{
"query": "If anyone has had experience with this, whether using a service, providing a service, or knows personally of someone who has done either, could you share your story with me? \n\nThe reason I ask such a specific question is I've heard of such services, I've found some on google, but I don't know how trustworthy the websites stories are or how people's experiences with this sort of thing vary. \n\nAs for why, the short story is I have recently gotten out of a relationship and my ex will also be attending the event with someone she \"met shortly after\" and *definitely* did not meet while were still dating. Needless to say, my reasons may be petty, but I really just want to get through this event and never deal with this again. \n\nTherefore, I have decided that just for this upcoming event I would just like to hire someone to attend the event with me as a date. I live in a large city, and I'm willing to pay for these services, but I wouldn't want to hire a prostitute... The extent of such services would only be to attend the date and stick to a predetermined story, maybe take a few pictures, and then we would be on our seperate ways. \n\nAny help with learning more about something like this would be appreciated.\n(Serious) Has anyone 'rented' a date (NOT prostitution) for a Wedding or Event and How was your experience?",
"chosen": "Your best bet may be to go by yourself. That way if you meet someone amazing at the wedding you will be free to pursue it!\n",
"rejected": "This is literally what an escort is. She escorts you around, it doesn’t need to include sex, you would want a girlfriend service. Good luck I’m sure this won’t backfire\n"
},
{
"query": "I recently had to make a decision that I know is right for multiple reasons, but I still feel shitty. Has this happened to you? What did you do about it?\nMen, when was a time you made a decision you knew was right but felt wrong?",
"chosen": "Breaking up with my SO because I can't give her the life she wants, and I love her too much to ask her to give up her goals.\n",
"rejected": "I was at a very toxic business as a young adult. I poured my heart and soul into this place, the reason that I stayed so long was because of the money. \n\nAbout a year ago my boss decided to just flat out piss me off. I quit him that day and grabbed my ball and work for a competitive company that pays even more. \n\nFuck that dude.\n"
},
{
"query": "Is there any job, position, company or industry you avoided because it seemed like it was for women only?\n\nDid you try anyway? Was it a good or bad experience?\nIf you didn't try, do you regret it?\nWhat industry did you avoid going into because it was dominated by women?",
"chosen": "I'm actually a nurse and one of the reasons I wanted to become one was because there would be many females. I actually look forward to being around many women. Better than being in a sausage fest.\n",
"rejected": "I love flying and want to be a flight attendant. Every time a mention it people assume Im gay, but they couldn’t be more wrong.\n"
},
{
"query": "Imagine if there is no afterlife or something like heaven. An eternity could pass by an we wouldn’t feel a thing \n\nI was just thinking that maybe we die and instantly are alive again (could be as the same person or as a totally different thing) after the universe ends and starts again a million times (maybe universe is cyclical, or some civilization invents a technology to bring back consciousness) , or whatever created existence itself gets to decide we live again. (god?, an alien?)\n\nThe point being that no matter what happens; Either there is an alter life and death is not the end. Or the event that made us conscious in the first place will happen again. It may take an eternity, but for us it would be an instant\nWhat do you think it happens after we die?",
"chosen": "Nothing, it’s like falling asleep, everything fades to black then just ends.\n",
"rejected": "We reach a pearly gate and then we all discover that the Westboro Baptist Church was right all along.\n"
},
{
"query": "Shamelessly inspired by AskWomen.\n\nBig or small, doesn't matter, as long as it is something that rubs you the wrong way.\nWhat is a societal norm you vehemently protest?",
"chosen": "I really hate small talk at work...annoys me to death.\n",
"rejected": "Lying. It's become not just acceptable, but expected. You're expected to lie to strangers when the ask about your well being. You're expected to lie for a friend or family member to cover up for their misdeeds. You're expected to lie to loved ones if the truth will hurt them. It's just everywhere in our society, and I feel like we'd all be better off without it.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm feeling fine and want to hear some other good stories. \n\nOne of my gifts to gf this year was a pair of high heels, gave them to her on Friday. V-Day morning, she tells me to meet her at the mall downtown, and let her know when I'm close. Now, she had been telling me that the plan was to have dinner at a nice place and then go home and have a lot of sex. Word, but not much different than any other weekend. I get off the freeway and text her, she texts back an address, that turns out to be a hotel. I park in the garage, tell her I'm in the lobby. She texts a room number, tells me the door is open. I open the door to find her on the bed scattered with rose petals, wearing nothing but one of my ties, and the heels I bought her. The instant change in mood from dealing with downtown traffic to seeing my gf's curves on full display in a hotel bed was just about the biggest FUCK YEAH surprise I could imagine. \n\nI'd like to hear about some of your fun V-Day stories.\nWhat was your best Valentine's Day surprise/date this year?",
"chosen": "My mother sent me a card with $20 in it with a note that said to \"spoil myself.\" When I was growing up, she would get all of her children a card and a relatively inexpensive gift: a $5 movie, a huge Hershey kiss, etc. But since I moved out, I was not expecting her to do anything. \n\nSo there's that. And I spent in on ice-cream because I'm worth it, goddammit.\n",
"rejected": "I had a blind date with a fellow redditor! We started chatting about being single on V Day, then pm'ing, then snap chatting (which he was horrible at ha ha) so then texting. We decided to go out instead of being alone. It was a total blast! I got all dressed up in a little black dress and heels. He picked me up and brought beautiful flowers. We had a great dinner, then back to his place for Cards Against Humanity with his friends. We have plans for next weekend. Was a really fun night, I have NO complaints at all!!!! I'm 31, & that's probably the best V Day I've ever had!\n"
},
{
"query": "I asked \"Do you ever feel as if you're seen as a perpetual predator?\" a couple of days ago, and got lots of interesting answers. Now it's got me wondering, what do you feel men and women can do to make you feel more comfortable? I don't want anybody feeling bad about themselves, at the same time, if I feel I'm at risk, I'm going to trust my gut and do my best to get out of the situation, hurt feelings or not. Any thoughts?\nMen that sometimes feel they're being seen as a predator, what can we do to solve this?",
"chosen": "Nothing to be done really. As sick as it sounds, the media loves it when bad things happen to women. They might produce a bunch of articles condemning it and calling for more to be done, but what they really want are those precious page views. So the narrative will continue, and the comments both on their sites and on places like reddit, facebook and tumblr will continue to be an echo chamber and anecdotal repository for evidence that men are one step away from being monsters.\n",
"rejected": "I have no problem with people who get paranoid and worried about me. They have good reason. I know I'm a good guy, but I can't expect anyone else to assume that.\n\nThe only thing I can really think of, is to not accuse me of anything when nothing happens. Understand that you *feeling* threatened doesn't mean I threatened you. A feeling is just a feeling. They don't represent reality.\n\nI've occasionally overheard a girl catching up to her friends say \"this really creepy guy was following me\", and I think that's a really shitty way to think about these things.\n"
},
{
"query": "Doesn't necessarily have to be a serious political or philosophical opinion. \n\nWhat is an opinion that you've seen or heard that no matter what you can't take seriously?\nWhat is one opinion that you can't take seriously?",
"chosen": "Any argument against gay people getting married, I've not seen a reason which isn't just silly.\n",
"rejected": "I can't take either side of the \"rights\" spectrum seriously. Be it extreme MRAs or feminists, as soon as they start talking, my eyes glaze over and I start thinking of donuts instead of listening to them.\n"
}
] | 6
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000020265579223632812,
"logprob2": -8.125,
"signal": 8.124997973442078
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000035762786865234375,
"logprob2": -6.125,
"signal": 6.124964237213135
}
| -2.000034
| 3
|
27488
|
[
{
"query": "Could be a product, food dish, show, film, book, activity, music artist, travel destination, etc.\nWhat’s something that seemed overhyped at first, but was surprising good once you tried it?",
"chosen": "Wawa. \n\nWhen it was first being built, every out of town guest told me how lucky I was that I was getting one. My husband and I were like, “It’s a gas station.” Damn if both of us aren’t there everyday and Friday nights aren’t Wawa bowl night in our house.\n",
"rejected": "ADD medication. Life changing. I had no idea how much I was suffering until I tried vyvanse. Suddenly the fog lifted. Life got 1000x easier. Why didnt I try this sooner? \n\nCooking my own meals instead of take out or TV dinners. A bit of a learning curve, but worth it. Now I like my own looking so much, take-out no longer interests me. And by cooking from scratch or almost scratch, my food bill is a fraction of what it was. \n\nThrifting! Buying all my clothes at thrifts or similar sources. I used to dread buying clothes. It took forever to find items. I'd spend a fortune but rarely loved what I brought home. Now Im so good at thrifting I bring home whole bags of almost new clothing for $5 or $10. If I get home and dont love a few items, so what? If I try to modify something and dont like the results, so what. If something develops a hole, i no longer feel bummed out I spent $50 on something that didn't last. If my body changes size or shape,so what. It's so liberating.\n\nBody positivity. I've sworn off dieting & the self negativity forever. None of the diets worked long term anyway, and the stress of dieting made things worse. I accept my body as it is. My body does wonderful things for me. And now that I've stopped hating its imperfections, I feel so relaxed. I stress eat less. I enjoy movement more. I enjoy sensuality and sexuality more. I feel *good*.\n"
},
{
"query": "So I have never been a big lover of big parties or an ordeal for your birthday. I do like spending it with family and friends... And my boyfriend.\n\nMy boyfriend told me about two months ago there was a chance he was going to be away on a business trip for my birthday. I suggested maybe I could go with him and make it a trip where we could do things in the evening. There is a huge time difference to where he is travelling and so I find it tough when he's away as we live together and it's odd not being able to chat to him. His trips usually involve parties and socialising every night so I don't get calls or messages when he gets in from nights out. He seemed on board at first.. A bit... But I understand it is a work trip and maybe it would be too awkward. \n\nAbout a week ago he told me the dates had been confirmed and it wasn't going to work out me going with him as there will be work parties every night. I was very disappointed as I had believed for two months I was going to get to see a new city.\n\nToday he told me he has to confirm the date he's flying. He has an option of flying Friday and heading off with work friends of his that are planning on doing some surfing first, Saturday (my birthday) or Sunday or monday... His work kicks off Tuesday and he needs to get over the jetlag to be working on that day. \n\nHe decided to go with flying out Saturday and so will have to be in the airport at 7am on my bday.\n\nI just don't know why if flying out Sunday was an option... Why wouldn't he do that and spend his girlfriends 30th birthday with her. He said he's a quiet guy in the office and would like to bond with his colleagues. He's going for a week with events and parties every night, they usually stay out very late and do I just don't get how that's not enough bonding and you would want to spend your girlfriends 30th birthday weekend with her. \n\nIt's a very crappy situation timing wise... I also don't love the idea that an ex of his lives in the city he's travelling to and he lied to me about messaging her about 2years ago. I don't think that is a factor here... Its just annoying on top of everything else. \n\nAm I being too much of a princess for being irritated by this? \n\nWe had a big argument on my bday last year and I ended up doing nothing for my bday.. Not even meeting friends so I guess I'm feeling a bit let down by him... I know its not his fault he has a work trip.. But he could fly Sunday and obviously doesn't care too.\n\nFeel like I may need some tough love if I am being a princess about this.\n\nHis 30th was in September and it was a big deal for him and spent months planning it with my help.\nBoyfriend is flying out on a work trip on my 30th Birthday",
"chosen": "Is it an option that this is all a ruse to surprise you for your thirtieth? Maybe there is/was a big party planned and he wanted you to think he was going out it town and not planning anything. \n\nA girl can dream.\n",
"rejected": "You’re not being a princess. If it was me I would tell him that it was hurtful and why. Give him the chance to show he cares. I see his side of it, but he should be looking for ways to compromise instead of just doing what’s best for him. If he continues to be a dick about it, that might be a bigger indicator of his character. I’m not saying he needs to bend over backwards and plan everything around you, but he needs to acknowledge that this is important to you and be considerate of your feelings.\n"
},
{
"query": "Opinions and experiences with these two? My OB recommends Essure... But I haven't decided yet. These are the pros and cons I'm weighing right now. Is there anything else I should consider?\n\nEssure pros ~ non-surgical, no general anesthesia, no incisions... Cons ~ possibly painful and I would be *awake* for the procedure, will have a foreign object inside me :/, it's a newer procedure so less research on it, I'll have to go back after 3 months for a confirmation test and will have to pay for that because my medicaid will have expired by then\n\nTubal Ligation pros ~ would be asleep for the procedure, I already have 2 previous laparoscopic incisions so I'm not concerned about scars, older procedure and proven to be pretty reliable, no foreign object left inside me.... Cons ~ would have to leave the newborn, will have incisions (though they were hardly even painful after my laparoscopy earlier during this pregnancy), limited pain medication choices since I'll be breastfeeding (probably not that big of a deal because tylenol always kill pain for me pretty well - and that's all I took after my last laparscopy)\n\nI'll be having this done within a few weeks after I give birth next month. So I'll be recovering from my birth, too.\nEssure VS Tubal Ligation?",
"chosen": "Please do not get Essure. My cousin just had to have a partial hysterectomy because of Essure complications. She's part of a lawsuit against them.\n",
"rejected": "For Essure, my OBGYN told me it's made out of nickel. If you have any metal sensitivities, it might not be a good option for you.\n"
},
{
"query": "My husband wants to move to Wyoming from our backwards southern state, and I'm concerned that would just be out of the frying pan and into the fire. \nWhat are your experiences where you live? How friendly is your state to women? I'm trying to get some idea of where I could be ok moving to. Or at least some improvement from the Gulf Coast.\nWhat states aren't conservative hellholes right now?",
"chosen": "New England is blue. Boston/Cape Cod are UBER expensive, but Western MA, Northampton area, is gorgeous and woman-friendly. VT and ME as well. NH is a bit more red.\n",
"rejected": "Based on places I have lived or currently live:\n\nOklahoma: hard pass. Not terribly friendly to women or minorities. There is a decent Native American population, but all the old white men who live there are super bitter about native hospitals, scholarships, statues, you name it, if they’re excluded they’ll bitch about it. It’s hot as fuck for 8 months of the year, tornadoes for 2 months, and ice storms for the other 2. Pretty sunsets though. 1/10 do not recommend.\n\nIllinois: Chicago is a great place if you like the urban environment, but the rest of the state is pretty red. We lived in a suburb of Chicago and it was pretty nice. My sister currently lives downtown and loves it, although she did have to shop around for a doctor who would replace her IUD (not just remove it, and not replace it due to religious reasons). The Great Lake is pretty great, the weather is nice. 7/10 for chicago, but I wouldn’t give that rating to the rest of the state.\n\nTennessee: Memphis has a lot of really rough areas. Nashville is pretty cool, but I hope you like country music and mega churches. Knoxville has the Great Smoky Mountains nearby, and the Smokies are pretty much my heart land. The whole state, though, is so red it’s practically sunburnt. Towards the bottom of rankings for education, womens rights, and is actively regressive. 4/10, but 3 of those stars are for the Smokies.\n\nColorado: Denver is really the only true blue area in the state, but the whole state feels much more progressive than anywhere else on the list. Colorado Springs is home to a lot of mega churches and there’s a pretty hefty evangelical presence there, but it’s a different (and more tolerable) flavor of religious weird than TN is. I’m guessing the legal weed chills everyone out a bit. They do automatic mail-in voting, which is far and away the best voting system I’ve ever been a part of. You get your ballot like a month before Election Day, so you have time to research the issues and candidates and truly make an informed choice. And holy shit, the mountains\n"
}
] | 1
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000031948089599609375,
"logprob2": -7.5,
"signal": 7.4999680519104
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000667572021484375,
"logprob2": -7.75,
"signal": 7.749933242797852
}
| 0.249965
| 2
|
277
|
[
{
"query": "I've been dating this guy for about a month. Things are going super awesome and he's moving to a new place in a couple weeks. I am the type of person to likes to buy little presents. Any ideas for a cool housewarming gift? (Aside from sex in all the rooms, of course. Already planned.) \n\nOkay, I have no idea how to make a poll. So I'm going to make a list of the possible gifts that I know for sure he would like and just take a poll here (if it's not allowed, I'll remove it!)\n\n-fancy bed sheets \n\n-something for outside (would probably be a nice bench thing for his huge porch)\n\n-griddle\n\n-cast iron skillet\n\n-sex swing \n\n- + add cookies/rhubarb bars \n\n- + add french maid lingerie\nMen, what do you think of housewarming gifts?",
"chosen": "I started a 10 year relationship with a really great girl over an apartment warming gift.\n",
"rejected": "Well a small bottle of good bourbon would be much appreciated, some thing like cookies would be awesome too.\n"
},
{
"query": "Let's say you're on a date and end up at the girl's place. What are the things that instantly kill the mood for you? \n\nAre there things that have the opposite effect?\nGuys what would be the top deal breakers when coming over to a girl's place? (xpost r/askwomen)",
"chosen": "used condoms nailed to the wall, a picture and a rating next to them.\n",
"rejected": "Well, from least to most:\n\n1. Bad smells\n\n2. Crap all over the floor\n\n3. Blood stained walls\n\n4. Severed limbs\n\n5. Rotting coprses\n"
},
{
"query": "It's easy to see why many relationships with serious problems or incompatibilities end. But why do seemingly \"good\" relationships end? Do people just slowly fall out of love once the excitement wears off? \n\nCurrently I'm with a girl for ~1 year and things are good. For whatever reason, I just feel that things could be better. Nothing is really bad, we don't argue much, communicate calmly when we do disagree, have similar interests etc. Sometimes I just feel a lack of a deeper connection despite her being a good person and us getting along just fine. My previous relationship experiences are few and mostly unhealthy, so this colors my thoughts at times.\nWhy/how do normal/good relationships end?",
"chosen": "Incompatibility. I ended a 6+ year relationship with a great guy because I was moving and he was dragging his heels. We'd really outgrown each other and did not want the same things any longer. Plus, we were very different people as adults and while we could have been happy enough together, there would have been a lot of tension between the various things we respectively wanted. \n\nWe broke up, it was sad, I look back on that relationship positively.\n\nNext one was a year long whirlwind - we were *almost* perfect together, but unfortunately, like two only slightly mismatched puzzle pieces, there was a lot of conflict at those edges. We weren't love/hate, but we were probably only happy together about half the time. It was \"very happy\" vs \"disappointed\", for me. Not hate or anger or fighting, just actively a bit unhappy. \n\nWe loved each other a lot but it wasn't working and I ended it. We're still friends and I think his current girlfriend provides some things that I couldn't, which I'm happy about. He's a great guy, but not my guy.\n\nGood relationships can end for all sorts of reasons but incompatibility seems like the most common.\n\nI personally think you need more than being vaguely happy and having few bad points. The 6+ year relationship I mentioned was quite happy, for the most part, and we worked hard to keep the excitement and so on there. But, we didn't really *get* each other as people. We didn't click on that mental level I've come to require in any relationship. I do think people give up good things too easily, but at the same time, when I was younger, I didn't have the experience to know what I really needed to nurture my soul in a relationship.\n",
"rejected": "In my experience, people sort of realize that they are content, but not really happy and are missing some deeper connection. This could be for several reasons, such as they (or their partner) changed, the excitement wore off, or the little things in the relationship started adding up to the point of bugging them. \n\nFor me, I've ended a very nice relationship (seriously would recommend this guy to most people, he's awesome) since after a while I realized that he and I just didn't really click even though we liked each other and enjoyed each other's company. I've also had an ex end a relationship after about a year since he realized that he thought of me more of a friend (yeah, I got friendzoned by a boyfriend, though we are a lot better as friends than as dating) and there were some things about me that he couldn't really get over.\n"
},
{
"query": "I just started seeing this guy a few weeks ago and he's great. We get along really well and I enjoy being around him. But he doesn't keep his pubic area groomed. I don't need it to be completely shaved but he doesn't even trim. It makes it really unpleasant to go down on him. What's the best way to go about asking him to trim things up without offending him?\nHow do I ask a guy I just started dating to trim his pubes?",
"chosen": "Tell him. Most men aren't babies. \"Could you trim those back a bit. Would rather not get a hair stuck in my teeth.\"\n\nBoom, done.\n",
"rejected": "If you trim your pubs I'll give you more blowjobs.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'll celebrate your big, little, or unnoticed victories with you.\n\nLet's do this.\nMen, what’s something you’ve accomplished in your life that you wish someone else was as stoked for you as you were for you?",
"chosen": "I love geography and world flags. A few months back I finished Sporcle's flags of the world quiz in under six minutes, all 193 flags. I was hyped. My wife was totally ho-hum about it. I've now gotten the time under 5:30.\n",
"rejected": "Stayed away from milk chocolate and ice cream for 6 weeks and counting, been struggling with binge eating the last year, so this have been a major progression and confidence boost for me. Also lost around 10 pounds, so really proud of that too.\n"
},
{
"query": "Actually this is a 2 part question. \n\n1. Do you use the same towel on your face and hair as you do on your body. Or use 2 separate towels?\n\n2. How many times/showers do you use a bath towel dry off with before you wash it/grab a new one? \n\n&#x200B;\n\n&#x200B;\n\nIs there a correct answer to often you should wash your bath towel? When I was younger I would use a new towel every time. I am still not concerned about the cost of my water bill or anything.. but rather it just feels like a wast of water to wash them that much. **I now use one small towel for my face and hair. And one towel for my body**. I use them each for two days and I shower twice a day because of my workout routine .. **Therefore I use each towel 4 times before washing it or grabbing a fresh towel**\n\nI could be way off and be gross. Or I could be washing them more than others.. I don't know. That's why I want your honest answer!\nHow many times/showers do you use a bath towel dry off with before you wash it/grab a new one?",
"chosen": "A week or more. Out of the shower I'm clean, the water it is taking off my body is clean, so exuberant washing is a waste of time and energy.\n",
"rejected": "Holy fuck, one towel a week, guys?? I use the same towel twice and I make sure to only use 1 side then fold that side in on itself so that I don't use the same side.\n"
},
{
"query": "Mine was way back in middle school. I was in a after school program that liked to meet up in the park and do outdoor activities. There was a girl in it who had a crush on me. She would hang around me all the time and would randomly flash me a lot. Anyways one day when we were chilling by the trees she randomly ran up to me, pressed her butt up to me, and ripped a loud one. She then giggled, said \"I just farted on you\", kissed me on the check, and then ran away. I was so stunned by the whole ordeal that I just stood there with a da fuck look on my face. I tried to avoid the weird girl after that. 12 years later and I still get random da fuck moments when the memory pops into my head.\nWhat's the weirdest way a girl hit on you?",
"chosen": "Got told \"I could suck her clit\" if I wore some skimpy piece of underwear she showed me.\n\nSo apparently I had to wear some stupid thing then pleasure her. Wonder what I was supposed to get out of it\n",
"rejected": "She patted me on the head and said \"dibs\"\n"
},
{
"query": "Preferably in a romantic context, what made you go \"oh fuck\" and realise it wasn't going to work\nMen, what's the first thing a girl said/did in their first conversation with you that immediately made you go \"oh no\"?",
"chosen": "To me it's signs of ignorance. I don't mean not knowing things; I mean being proud of it.\n",
"rejected": "*\"I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.\"*\n\nAnnnnd we're done. \n\nIn college, for some reason, I only attracted these kinds of women. Not sure what it was, maybe because I was a relative loner who looked kinda sad all the time and they thought I'd be an easy target to bring into their ~~cult~~ church group? I dunno.\n"
},
{
"query": "Just curious if any of you fellows have made something impressive without the prerequisites provided by a higher education.\nMen who didn't attend college/university, how have you created a functional career since missing that opportunity?",
"chosen": "Joined the Navy, ran nuclear plants, got out, ran hydro plants, left that, ran another nuclear plant, left that, now I run the power grid. I'm doing fine and I've been on the clock getting paid for every scrap of education I've received after high school.\n",
"rejected": "Haven't really created a functional career for me but I've just been working since I was 16 and I liked it so after graduating high school I kept at it. Went to college for about a semester but I didn't like it so it was back to working. There's times where I feel I should've done better at college and seeing everyone I graduated hs with graduate college I feel like a bit of a failure but at the same time I'm told I'm still young (22 y.o) and I got a lot ahead of me. I'm just trying to do what I can to survive, currently at my first job where there's growth so I'm hoping for the best on that\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm not talking fetishes that are necessarily gross or illegal, but fetishes you feel weird for having an interest in?\nWhat fetishes are you ashamed of having?",
"chosen": "Nursing a grown man. I'm not lactating, but always wanted to induce for this purpose.\n",
"rejected": "It's not quite at a fetish level of requirement, but I find wearing protection to be hot.\n"
},
{
"query": "This has been something that’s tickled the brain for a while now as more and more cams allow for more and more “supplemental incomes”, I ask myself:\n\na) what would I do...I mean if they’re hot, not in my life anymore and *especially* if I fantasized about them before-then game on?\n\nb) if it was someone currently IN my life-would I mention it?\n\nc) if related to the performer-back to “b”\n\nd) if a GF or SO, would it bother you? If so, how to broach the subject?\n\nEver happened to you, if so-spill. I’ll grab the popcorn!\nTo my boyos: while surfing “entertainment” sites, ever find anyone you know/knew? How’d you handle it (no pun intended)",
"chosen": "I live across the street from a house they use to shoot porn. I have spent a LOT of time looking at videos to find one that was shot in that house. For some reason, I just need to know. One day, I was deep in the hunt, and I was looking at a counter top in the kitchen, zooming in and everything, and realized I had stopped looking at the human beings several videos ago. I was treating porn hub like hgtv.\n",
"rejected": "I didn’t find them one of my mates did. \n\nThere was a video of a girl I went to highschool with on pornhub. She would have been 18/19 at the time of upload and was sucking dick for crack. It was depressing and really hard to watch. \n\nThe dude in the video was an absolutely disgusting guy too. I don’t think a single one of us managed to finish the video because we all felt sick :(\n"
},
{
"query": "Ever since I was little I wipe my dick after taking a pee. Of course, not always, though. Sometimes in the public restrooms you can't but when I am at home, I always do it. I hate to just put it back in my pants and let it make my boxers wet. I also don't like to shake it off and splatter piss everywhere.\nDoes anybody else wipe his dick after taking a pee",
"chosen": "When you don't wipe, those drops end up on your boxers. Then when someone goes down on you without taking your boxers off, everything smells like piss. Sometimes it smells even if you do take the boxers off. I'm aware drips happen anyways, but as someone who doesn't like piss smell near their mouth...consider wiping?\n",
"rejected": "I can't believe that you blokes are still shaking. \n\nJust press on the tube under your nutsack where it kinda goes into your body/pelvis. A squirt will come out and no more leakage. \n\nThis also works for jizz.\n"
},
{
"query": "So, aside from the normal signs I get like an unquenchable thirst, a dry mouth / throat, and heavy achy head, I also use my testicals as a guage that I am coming down with an illness. They just don't feel normal. I don't know how to explain it, but its definiately an indicator that I am ill.\n\nDoes anyone else use the feel of their testicals as a guage of whether or not they are ill?\nDo your balls feel differently when you are sick?",
"chosen": "Yes.. if Im sick.. not like hungover sick. Its hard to describe. Its almost like they are weak, they just dont feel right.\n",
"rejected": "My balls only seem to react to temperature and trauma, I'm afraid.\n"
},
{
"query": "My 14 year old brother is really perverted and frequently talks about inappropriate things. I've tried telling him that he needs to stop being gross, but he either doesn't get it or doesn't care. I know 14 year olds are pretty perverted anyway, but he seems waaayy over the top. My boyfriend has also tried talking to him, but it didn't do anything. We also always call him out on being gross. \n\nHere are some examples of things he's done. \n\n1. Told me he masturbated to porn while using my mom's iPad and got cum all over the screen. Proceeded to show me the cum after I said \"That's gross dude, dont tell people that.\"\n\n2. Frequently informs me of porn he's watched. Tells me stories about what's happened in the porn. \n\n3. I was showing him how to bathe my five month old and told him to make sure he didn't get soap in her pee hole. He responded with \"Oh yeah I know that burns. One time I was masturbating in the bath tub and got soap in my pee hole.\" \n\n4. Asked me if I had any rated R movies with nudity in them that he could watch. Said he was going to jack off on my couch after I went to bed. \n\n5. I was bathing at my parents' house one day. He opened the bathroom door and just stood there giggling until I started yelling at him to fuck off. \n\nAnd that's just a few examples. He is like that 24/7. He's always telling me about masturbating and how hairy his balls are and how big his dick is. It's really creepy. \n\nAny thoughts on what to do? He's becoming very unenjoyable to be around.\nMy 14 year old brother is really perverted and inappropriate. Any advice on how I can let him know certain things are not okay to say?",
"chosen": "Fuck him in the ass to establish dominance.\n",
"rejected": "Everyone here freaking out like this kid's a predator or something. He's a 14 year old who likes being edgy and who found a reliable way to annoy his older sister at the same time. Every time she rises to the bait, he wins another small victory.\n\nIgnore him until he grows the fuck up.\n"
}
] | 7
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000020265579223632812,
"logprob2": -7.5,
"signal": 7.499997973442078
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00005221366882324219,
"logprob2": -12.25,
"signal": 12.249947786331177
}
| 4.74995
| 6
|
9956
|
[
{
"query": "Let me start the ball rolling. When I am bored of my usual playlist, I listen to... (gulp) MLP songs\nWhat is one minor secret about you which your colleagues can never know?",
"chosen": "They all think I have an evening class that starts 30 minutes after I am supposed to be off work. This was the only way I could get them to show up on time consistently without saying \"oh god come on just stay for awhile you have nothing else to do\" or asking me to cover their next shifts. Apparently being the youngest and not having kids or a husband = you're wildly willing to work whenever they want regardless of the fact you've been there 12 hours it's fine.\n",
"rejected": "My coworkers all find me so sweet and innocent.If only they knew what a raging perv I am when it comes to men. I have some of the dirtiest thoughts sometimes.\n"
},
{
"query": "A group of my friends are in a band and last night I went to one of their shows at a bar. I'm in a local band as well and this college-town bar happens to be \"home turf\" for both of our bands. So every once in awhile one of us will get recognized as \"hey you're BrianAndThings from Sexual Dinosaur\" (not our real band name but I wish it was).\nAnyway, I went up and did vocals on a few songs for my friends' band and when I came down this clearly drunk girl started throwing herself at me. It should also be noted that I quit drinking due to a DUI I got a couple months back. This girl was pretty attractive and, had I been drinking, I would've definitely reciprocated. But instead I turned down her offer to buy me a drink and she got visibly pissed. She grabbed my neck, pulled me close and whispered in my ear, \"You need a drink. I don't want to fuck you this sober.\" I told her that I don't drink and she got even more flustered. After she gave me a pouty \"Fine!\" I went back to my group of friends and watched the rest of the show.\nAbout 15 minutes later I look over and see her making out/eating the face of some other guy by the bar. Another 15 minutes later she's going to leave (with her friends;without the guy) and she stumbles over to me, gives my crotch a squeeze and says \"You don't know what you're missing out on.\" I politely decline again. She gets this odd look on her face which looks like a combination of anger and nausea, and stomps off. On her way to the door she stops at a trash can, grabs her friend's arm, lets out a quick puke into the trash can and exits the bar. Bullet dodged. \n\nSo, AskMen, what's your story?\nHave you ever turned down sex from a person who was clearly throwing themselves at you? What happened?",
"chosen": "Yeah a few times. Mostly when playing with my band. Had to turn it down as we had to get back in the van after the show and continue with the tour or get home, or simply because I didn't fancy her.\n",
"rejected": "Visited her for new years (she lived a 3hour train travel away+ 1hour with tramps/busses, we talked a lot online, lost contact, caught up again, she invited me for new years)she told me before that she gets really horny when drunk. Since it is in the middle of winter she didn't shave her legs (which I didn't mind that much) but I knew that she would feel very uncomfortable about it and the fact that she didn't shave them made me realize that she didn't plan to have sex that night. She didn't tell me obviously but I could guess it pretty easily she was also always wearing long sweatpants all the time at home and whenever the pants slipped up from her ankle she immediately tried to pull them down and hide her unshaved legs. Later when she was really drunk she constantly kept hugging me and I'm a very cuddly person so I was fine with that. Then she started to press my head on her boobs the whole time. Her sister and the sister's SO and the best (female) friend of that girl were with us at the living room and they all assumed that we were going to bang that night.\n\nLong story short we slept in the same bed. Just had some very long and deep conversations and just slept because I didn't see a point in it and she might would feel uncomfortable the day after.\n\nTL;DR Men aren't animals who jump at every chance for sex that they get into.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm a 24 year old single man that lived alone. Sometimes I want dome homemade cookies, so I make some! I don't like keeping a bunch of junk food around, so I keep a small amount and take the rest to work. Usually everything is a success and I get compliments. \n\n\nOutside of work is a different story. My friends and dad all make fun of me for baking. I find this odd, I see it as taking care of my own wants. \n\nI'm curious how other oven savvy gentlemen are perceived.\nMen, how often do you bake sweets and how is your baking activity received by others?",
"chosen": "My god, maybe I live in the last bastion of open and accepting society where people are allowed to do whatever they want. Cause I see a lot of posts like this and I wonder if they live in Crazytown or I do.\n\nI bake when I get the inclination (about once a month). I've been practicing pie for years, I would like to be able to make a damn good pie. Anyone can throw together some brownies or cookies, pie is an art form.\n",
"rejected": "When I'd been married ten years, I decided I wanted to make my childhood favorite butter toffee recipe one year for the holidays. My wife stood by in open-mouthed shock as I expertly set up a double boiler and candy thermometer, then dropped in butter and sugar to melt.\n\nAs the shaved dark chocolate and roasted almond slivers cooled on top of the soft crack toffee, my wife said, \"Who are you and what have you done with my husband?\"\n\nI smiled back at her and said, \"It's important to keep surprising each other in our relationship. I really can't wait until next year.\"\n\nIt's been seven years now and she's still waiting for the next thing. That's the surprise; *There is no next thing.*\n"
},
{
"query": "I was thinking that male aggression is probably down to the fact they have limited outlet for these things.\nIf you were to make a theme park called manworld allowing men to do manly things they can't do in their normal lives what would you want there? (E.g kicking down a door or cutting down a tree with an axe)",
"chosen": "Plan and execute a heist. Seriously... someone make a business of this please. I want to (legally) plan and execute a heist.\n",
"rejected": "There is a place in the UK called \"digger land\". You het to drive massive JCBs and dig holes in a huge field.\n"
},
{
"query": "So recently in a relationship thread, this guy found out about his girlfriends number and he kept disrespecting her. However, he seemed to be able to have meaningless sexual experiences. For those of you that think like him, what about it actually bothers you? Do you recognize that you are hypocritical? Is it a social construct you have to mentally fight?\nGuys of AskMen, what is it about female promiscuity that bothers you, if it does?",
"chosen": "I'm with you if the guy actually *is* being hypocritical. My issue would be if the number was \"off\" with your partner. If one person has had 2 sexual partners and the other has had 52, I think that's a problem. It is indicative that the two people have differing views on sex and the meaning of sex. It isn't necessarily an insurmountable problem, but it is definitely an issue that is worthy of discussion.\n",
"rejected": "ITT: Women with high partner counts arguing with guys who aren't interested in women with high partner counts.\n\nWhy do you care? If the guy isn't interested, who cares? He's allowed to have his preference of who he dates just as you are.\n"
},
{
"query": "I am 33 and have never really used lotion in my life. This year, the weather changing has made my skin particularly dry/itchy and a lot of people have told me I should try lotion. Problem is, I am kinda lost when it comes to knowing what a good lotion is for this issue due to never using lotion before. What are some of your favorite brands to use? I figured I would ask here rather than just try a bunch of different ones until I find one I like. I'd rather take targeted suggestions and start from there. Any input is appreciated, thank you in advance for your guidance.\nGents, what lotions do you use/recommend for someone dealing with dry skin in this cold weather?",
"chosen": "CeraVe in the tub. Expensive, but worth it and lasts forever.\n",
"rejected": "I cut the chemicals and just use coconut oil while my skin is still moist after I shower.\nDon't use it on your face though.\n"
},
{
"query": "As mentioned in past threads, it's been taking a long time for me to achieve discharge while shaking hands with the unemployed. Now I'm having a problem where Stephen Junior decides he's had enough about 20-30 minutes and won't wake up again...\n\nI do wear a condom while self-pleasuring to contain the mess - I've found tissues are uncomfortable.\n[Serious] How do I stop my penis from falling asleep while masturbating?",
"chosen": "This shouldn't be happening to you - it sounds like you may have desensitised yourself. I would recommend refraining from masturbation for as long as you can (maybe a fortnight?) and trying again. Guys can sometimes get into a self-reinforcing cycle of gripping harder to get off, but also requiring a harder grip in order to get up.\n\nIf that doesn't solve the issue, you should go and chat to your GP.\n",
"rejected": "You could just be gripping to hard.. literally choking your chicken to death.\n"
},
{
"query": "And how and why? Are you a heat devil? Or do you like a better flavour? I love all hot sauces so feel free to blow my mind. \n\nHere are some basic sauces you might know:\n\nTexas Pete\n\nTabasco\n\nFrank's Red Hot\n\nSriracha Sauce\n\nCholula Hot Sauce\n\nLouisiana\nWhat hot sauce is best?",
"chosen": "Satan's Blood.\n",
"rejected": "Superior to Sriracha is the sambal oelek. \n\nShout out to Lao Gan Ma for more of a chili paste than actual sauce. It's as addictive as crack.\n"
},
{
"query": "Would this be a dealbreaker? Is it a situation where trust is impossible or would there be a thought pattern that they broke up for a reason, and if they didn't patch things up before I came along they are unlikely to now? Would it depend how long ago their relationship was, if it was years ago would it matter less than if it was more recent?\nHow would you feel about dating a woman who is still friends with an ex?",
"chosen": "Let's try from another perspective. How would you feel if your boyfriend keeps sending messages to his ex gf? How would you feel if your ex bf, still friend with his ex goes to her place to hung out or watch Netflix? Is it ok? Do you think nothing else is going to happen? Even if nothing happens, do you like it?\n",
"rejected": "Really all depends on the situation.\n"
},
{
"query": "The facts could be untrue, misleading, true but not useful or relevant, or a combination of the above. What do some people say as if it is a fact that annoys you when you hear it?\nWhat \"facts\" do you often hear that annoy you when someone repeats it?",
"chosen": "Don't hear it very often I'll say that, but\n\n\"The Taliban were created by the CIA\"\n\nGets on my nerves a little. It's much more complex than that, and they weren't created by the CIA in any reasonable sense of the word.\n",
"rejected": "\"You're most likely to get into an accident within 10 miles of your house.\"\n\nYeah, you also spend much more time driving within 10 miles of your house... So that stat is kind of meaningless. It's one of the more tame facts that I have a problem with.\n"
},
{
"query": "How do I continue with this relationship if I spent the time to find and cook a PERFECT, I mean fucking top tier bone-in rib-eye steak with salt and pepper rub only to watch in horror as she slathers Trader Joe's steak sauce on it. I've seen her do it with pork chops, steak tips, a shitty t-bone cut but I honestly thought she didn't have it in her to forsake me like this. \n\nGood god what monster have I married?! I fear my only option is seppuku.\nWife put steak sauce on a nice rib-eye last night, what do I do?",
"chosen": "What kind of monster uses Trader Joe's steak sauce? She should have used A-1.\n",
"rejected": "Eat yours without and move on with your life.\n"
},
{
"query": "If you cry in front of someone (friend/family/SO) how would you like to be treated? Hugs? Alone time? Food?\n\n\nMy bf of almost 4 months cried for the first time in front of me the other night while in bed. He's going through a tough time health wise so I understand why he did but I honestly had no clue what to do about it apart from hug him and soothe him to sleep.\n\n\nObviously I'm not looking for a blanket solution on how to treat him in this situation but I would like to hear some different perspectives\nHow do want to be treated while you're crying?",
"chosen": "Shut the fuck up and give me a hug. Don't say anything, don't worry it. Just shut up, and be close by.\n\nApplies to guys/girls/SO/family/friends/whatever. I understand you're trying to help and whatever. But give me my moment, then we can go from there.\n",
"rejected": "A hug bro. Maybe hand me a napkin with a dickbutt on it.\n"
},
{
"query": "Not asking for complete details but I've seen a fair share of men who women fawn over but they seem oblivious to their advances. Maybe its cause their taken or self-esteem (which I can relate to as well) something.\nGood-looking men who lack of confidence, what event/has happened to you / why that is the case and what are you doing to change that?",
"chosen": "Obliviousness =! Lack of Confidence.\n\nIf you're seeing a man not notice women fawning over them, isn't it also likely that he's just not interested in them? Or maybe the women need to be more clear about their advances.\n",
"rejected": "Haha i think i fit into this category. I've been told my whole life how good looking i am but i totally lack confidence. I've also had pretty extreme social anxiety most of my life and now as a result suffer depression. I've been this way since i was young so I'm not sure why I'm like this. Maybe it was my overly critical, distant dad or over bearing mum idk but it sux! Looks aren't everything that's for sure\n"
},
{
"query": "Obviously neither relationship is great, but if you had to pick\nWould you rather be in a relationship where the sex is awful but everything else is incredible, or one where the sex is incredible but everything else is awful? Why?",
"chosen": "Been in both. Would not recommend. \n\nIf I had to pick? I wouldn't. I'd break up with the person in either situation.\n",
"rejected": "Awful sex is something I've had to deal with in many failed relationships..\n\nHowever I wouldn't say that the sex was awful, it was just that THEY were awful at it tbh..\n\nThey'd usually just lie there expecting me to do all the work, I am a young guy who's in shape, so I don't mid as much..\n\nI would most definitely choose the good relationship bad sex (so long as there is sex)\n"
}
] | 7
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0000020265579223632812,
"logprob2": -7.25,
"signal": 7.249997973442078
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00004601478576660156,
"logprob2": -7.875,
"signal": 7.874953985214233
}
| 0.624956
| 6
|
3121
|
[
{
"query": "Looking for some cool ideas of what I can do in my free time often, that doesn't involve staying inside my apartment.\nWhat's a hobby that you currently love, but was apprehensive to start at first?",
"chosen": "Fire poi. For a year, friends were pestering me with that weird thing they were doing which I then deigned to try.. Suddenly I found one of the nicest, most creative communities in the world and over the years managed to become one of the most respected jugglers in my country. (Yes it's a very small country:) )\n",
"rejected": "Pooping in a toilet. At first I was like nah the diapers are working fine, why change what ain't broke? But my parents forced me to use the big boy toilet and I've been using it ever since. I've grown to love the damn thing.\n"
},
{
"query": "Tell us about a time when, if you could do it over again, you'd tell a lie instead.\nGuys, when did you tell the truth but live to regret it?",
"chosen": "Had an awesome job, got into an argument with a coworker, was proactive and talked to my manager about it to tell my side in case the coworker did the same. Got fired and coworker got my position but here is the ringer I wasn't told for two weeks and was training said coworker as I was told he was getting a promotion, they forgot to mention it was my job he was promoted to, once training was complete got fired and he got my job. Needless to say I'll keep my mouth shut next time.\n",
"rejected": "Broke it off with a girl,a little older than me. She asked why and asked her how blunt she wanted me to be. She said just be straight, she's an adult and I don't need to patronize.\n\nSo I fessed up and told her I thought she was incredibly boring and a really narrow and shallow range of interest (all she ever talked about was the personal lives of her coworkers and facebook posts). She seemed to take it rather well so I put it from my mind.\n\nWent in for a job interview the next week and guess who was sitting behind the desk.\n"
},
{
"query": "How did the behavior of people around you change? Everyday interactions etc. People checking you out. Treating you differently?\nAttractive men, how did you find out you were attractive?",
"chosen": "I still don't FEEL attractive but women seem to want to get naked for me so there's that.\n\nWouldn't know if it CHANGED, just some women seem really friendly and inquisitive right when I first meet them and try finding excuses to talk to me.\n",
"rejected": "I changed a few things regarding my appearance. Shaved my head two years ago, and noticed a little more attention coming my way. Grew a beard earlier this year, and noticed a lot more attention coming my way : Compliments, women being a lot more touchy, way more success with online dating, that sort of thing.\n\nNone of this did anything to ease my crippling insecurity though.\n"
},
{
"query": "What are common turn ons? Like spanking, hair pulling, shoving her face in a pillow while making her call you daddy? Or are these things uncommon and most hook ups are actually pretty vanilla?\nWhat type of sex are most women you hook up with into?",
"chosen": "Every single one has wanted me to dominate them. What's with all these women who want me to aggressively fuck and choke them.\n",
"rejected": "Most women I've been with refuse/hate giving BJs so that's been pretty frustrating\n"
},
{
"query": "Obviously the way I phrased this question implies that a majority of men see their emotions as an \"obstacle\" or a \"problem\". Something they need to overcome, ignore or crush so that they can do \"real things\". Oftentimes we will hear stories where men \"get burned\" for being too open about their feelings. \n\nThis may seem like an unfair characterization for the more neutral crowd but I want to draw attention to this trope. I think the best way of doing this is to create a thread where men can elaborate upon how understanding and respecting their emotions actually made them better men.\n\n**Focus**: Towards a positively defined masculinity\nWhen has being in touch with your emotions been a positive?",
"chosen": "...all the time? Ever since I became clearer about my emotions my success in everything has skyrocketed. I don't understand why so many guys falsely try to be stoic because \"it's what society says\" when by and large society really doesn't want that at all; it just ends up making everyone ridiculously unhappy.\n",
"rejected": "There are times when I try to have deep serious conversations with people and my emotions help me portray my honest feelings. This helps our relationship grow. Admittedly, you'll have to ask them whether or not they appreciate me opening up to them.\n"
},
{
"query": "So after a lot of observation of married people and my my own principles of life, I have came to a conclusion that it'd be best for me if I never get married. I might get into serious relationships but I won't compromise for the sake of relationship. Especially because I live in a society where you're expected to.\nI might be thinking extremely here as I am just 24 and have never been in a actual relationship and people already expect me to get married as I have secured a decent career already.\nI am very introverted and never been able to attract attention to me let alone impress a girl. This might become a problem for me to find a girl who might agree with my views about marriage but it's not my worry. I just want to focus on my career and if I would want to commit myself to something I'll commit to a goodwill cause. If I want kids I'll adopt them.\nSo I want to know what might be some psychological or societal problems I might face if never commit a long term relationship.\nWhat are some problems you might face if you decide to never get married ?",
"chosen": "Well, Im just going to throw my 2 cents here, since I am married for a couple of years and have just now become a dad for the first time. When I was about your age, (im 29 now) I couldn't imagine myself getting maried. I didn't see the point of it. Waste of money, waste of time, had to commit to same women for life... The thing is, you are not the same person as the 29 year old you. So for me, this is a question of someone who is craving for love, and really needs to justify his/her lack of social interaction. I got married because it made sense to me. Not because someone told me to. Not because I was born dreaming of getting maried and having kids. I really didnt care about that 5/6 years ago. But then I met my wife, and the first thing I thought when I met her was, and I recall this perfectly, \"If I can land this chick Im settled for life\". So, my opinion/advice for you is, don't worry too much about the matters of love and marriage, whatever happens happens. It may come a time where you meet a super nice and pretty girl that is religious and she has always wanted to get maried through church. At that time, it will make sense for you to get maried, even though you don't believe in god or whatever. Call me hipocrit if you want. Or maybe you meet a wonderful satanic girl... who knows?\n\nSo just mind your own life, and love yourself my friend. Life will guide you wherever.\n\nCheers\n",
"rejected": "So there are two scenarios:\n\n1. You decide to not partner with anyone and remain single or casually date: You lose the option of dual income, having a child and a family. You are obviously financially sheltered from a divorce scenario or potential child support.\n\n2. You opt for common law rather then marriage: There are basically no disadvantages for you here and dependent on your situation there maybe a number of advantages especially from a financial perspective. You could still potentially end up with child support payments but in many jurisdictions you're protected from alimony and division of property and assets if you solely own them. I'd still recommend signing a prenup regardless, especially if you own property. But you are legally in a much better position in this situation if things don't work out.\n\nThe nice thing about not being financially chained to someone long term is you have the option to leave without any serious consequences at any time. If you decide you don't like where things are going or you are unhappy you simply hire some movers and leave (or have your partner leave) and then you're done. The unfortunately reality for a lot of married men is they stay in marriages where they are miserable because attempting to leave would have devastating financial consequences for them.\n"
},
{
"query": "I am 25 years old and when my gf broke up with me i found i have too much free time, got into running to lose some weight, and lost 25 kg. I am now 180cm/90kg and i would like to find new hobby to learn something and still lose some weight, can you recommedn anything ?\nCan you recommend any good hobby ?",
"chosen": "Motorcycles. Photography.\n\nThe two have taken me far and wide. The combination of the two is bliss.\n",
"rejected": "Learn to work on and tune your car.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm a male and I kinda feel that being sucks in some way. Like we were thought to be tough as nail, never showing emotion, be like a fucking warrior who will be disposable. Be a man, be fucking dominant and all. And the competition between men kinda sucks, because irl when I ask for advice some men will call me a sissy or something like that. And for a long period of time I became a toxic piece of shit who were very frustrated by not being a \"real man\". \n\nNow I don't give a shit about \"being a man\" I'd rather being me and live my life. Forgetting the idea of being the alpha and all. Some men probably gonna call me a beta male or a cuck but whatever. Right now my life is great, and well balanced. \n\nBut maybe it's just me, it's just my personal opinion. But what about you, what do you feel about this idea that men should be strong all the time? I genuinely want to know\nMen of reddit, Warren Farrel in the Myth of Male Power said \"Men's greatness weakness is their facade of strength\". What do you think about it?",
"chosen": "Wanna become a typical legit man? Dont give a fuck about such things. It works.\n",
"rejected": "Mate, u need to be strong if u are a man or a woman if u want to go somewhere in life. U cant have a bad day at work and cry in your office. \n\nBut u can at home\n\nu can be week and show emotions with the ones u trust. A good friend a long time gf and wife or husband. Or you mon and dad.\n\nAs a man,\" a real man\" with kids and wife u have people that depends on you and u need to be strong cause u cant fail.\n"
},
{
"query": "What are the general rules when going out? Do I just give them my card for the night? Any do's and don'ts or ANY heads up that I should know about? I'm pretty excited, I just don't want to make a fool of myself when going out!\nI turn 21 soon. How exactly do bars work and what are the general rules?",
"chosen": "Try to get a feel for what a bar specializes in. Yes, technically you can get whatever you want at any bar, but you’ll save yourself embarrassment and bad drinks if you ‘read the room’ so to speak. Eg, if a bar has 20 taps and their menu says ‘white and red’ under the wine section, take advantage of the opportunity to explore beer (and possibly avoid drinking some bad wine). \n\nAt the same time, just don’t overthink it, you’re paying so that you can have a good time after all!\n",
"rejected": "You have to kiss the big burly bouncer on the lips when you enter.\n"
},
{
"query": "I've had this come up with multiple women on multiple occasions. They aren't even asking if I've ever been in a relationship. Just asking why I don't currently have a girlfriend? What's a good way to answer this?\nWhat's a good way to respond to someone who asks you why don't you have a girlfriend?",
"chosen": "Why don’t you have a girlfriend? Why can’t you answer with the truth?\n\nI’ve always interpreted this question as a passive come-on. She thinks you’re a catch for either herself or maybe a single friend. I’ve never felt the need to be clever about responding.\n",
"rejected": "it depends, are you trying to lie?\n"
},
{
"query": "My ex and I broke up about two months ago. Recently, I've met with the young woman who used to date my ex's brother. Meeting with her brought up some old memories. One of them was that my ex used to tell me that while he doesn't resent me NOW, he could see himself possibly resenting the fact that i'm disabled in the future. \n\nI'm pretty severely physically disabled. I have something called Brittle Bone Disease (Samuel L Jackson's character in Unbreakable had this, just less severe). I use an electric wheelchair, and am considered a Little Person (a gorgeous one lol ;P). This slightly affects my sex life. Basically, I just can't do Girl on Top. Or, like standing sex.\n\nOther than that I'm pretty self sufficient. I'm finishing up my double bachelor's and applying for PHd school next fall. I definitely won't rely on a partner to support me financially. \n\nWhen my ex brought up resenting me, he referenced the cost of medical bills getting in the way, the restrictions of being in a motorized chair while traveling and the sex getting boring as getting to him. \n\nThese are all valid concerns, but still I feel like my partner should never feel like he could resent me for being disabled. Is this too high of a standard?\nIs it to high of a standard to think that my future partners should not resent me for being disabled?",
"chosen": "At least he was honest with you and didn't wait until you had a long history together before breaking up. You'll do fine, gorgeous Little People are extremely difficult to resist.\n",
"rejected": "I think this depends on what you mean by resentment. Will it be a bummer when he has to dismiss his idea of taking you skydiving or whatever other fun plans your condition might disrupt? Sure. And unless you find someone with a similar disability, that will come up. We can't help what we feel. Does that count as resentment for you? Did your ex have a different definition in mind when he used that word?\n\nI think I'd be out of line for judging people based on feelings they MIGHT have some day, regardless of the source of those feelings.\n"
},
{
"query": "So I’ve never been super concerned with my appearance. Decided it’s something I should start putting some effort into and face is a good place. My skin isn’t bad, but it’s got a few blemishes, some noticeable pores, etc. I’ve seen posts on Reddit talking about using moisturizer and exfoliating your face, but I don’t really know what that all means.\nAs a guy what are some basic skincare techniques I should know",
"chosen": "Mid 40's male. My skin has never been better. \n\nRoutine:\n\nAM: cold shower. Use Cerave foaming facial cleanser. Following with CeraVe am lotion spf30. \n\nPM: wash face with CeraVe foaming facial cleanser. Wait 20 mins then use Paula's choice BHA (exfoliating) them CeraVe PM lotion. \n\nDrink water, swap pillowcases and towels often.\n\nThanks r/skincareaddiction. \n\nNo blemishes and even skin tone. Just visited family and received crazy compliments with aunt's asking me what I'm doing. \n\nShaving fix: wash face in hot shower with CeraVe. Use Taylor of bond street shaving cream with badger brush. Straight or double edge razer shave with proper technique (multiple easy passes, with the grain then against the grain). 3-4 passes usually. Final rinse with cold water. Wait till dry then splash with alcohol free witch hanzel. Wait till dry then use a light coat of CeraVe am lotion. Apply again in mid day focusing on dry areas. \n\nThis is the best my skin has ever been. \n\nYMMV and you should experiment and find what works for your skin.\n",
"rejected": "covering your legs in mud will prevent mosquitos biting them.\n"
},
{
"query": "No, I don't mean nudes. I'm talking about pictures of you and her in a social setting, or things you may have done together. I just found a bunch and I can't decide if I should delete them or not.\nAlright men, is it weird to still have pictures of your ex?",
"chosen": "There are a load on my facebook, and on my computer as well. I don't look at them but I don't see the point in deleting them. Deleting them is not going to make the past have not happened.\n",
"rejected": "Personally I deleted them because it helped me move on, but honestly keeping is fine too. Do what ever works best for you. If you can see them leave them up, some like to look back on them later.\n"
},
{
"query": "Me and my girlfriend have been together for 2 years I'm 23 she's 21 the topic of marriage and children came up the other day and it got me to thinking how personally I am more a Centrist in my political views and shes far left, a progressive. She's also going into Political Science so politics is a big thing between us, I'm pretty level-headed/understanding of everyone's views so they don't bother me that much right now but it's concerning looking into the future with kids, do you think I would be difficult raising them with parents with two very different political view, and would you do it or not?\nWhat are your thoughts on staying with someone who shares the complete opposite political views as you?",
"chosen": "Isn't life a lot more than political views?\n",
"rejected": "I wouldn't do it. Different opinions on some things are fine. But completely opposite views often includes different opinions on kids and family. \n\nLike if you have a gay kid is one parent going to try to throw them into conversion therapy or disown them or while the other is cool with it? Is one going to rant a lot about how white men are the devil and shame your kids for what they are?\n\nSo it depends on what the how extreme the opinions vary and how willing the two are to discuss and compromise. Personally I'd want someone who I can agree with on most things. Most big things at least. \n\nSounds like you should discuss this with your SO. She may have had the same concerns but not voiced them.\n"
}
] | 5
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00005984306335449219,
"logprob2": -5.125,
"signal": 5.1249401569366455
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00004029273986816406,
"logprob2": -4.5,
"signal": 4.499959707260132
}
| -0.62498
| 8
|
8158
|
[
{
"query": "Looking for some cool ideas of what I can do in my free time often, that doesn't involve staying inside my apartment.\nWhat's a hobby that you currently love, but was apprehensive to start at first?",
"chosen": "Fire poi. For a year, friends were pestering me with that weird thing they were doing which I then deigned to try.. Suddenly I found one of the nicest, most creative communities in the world and over the years managed to become one of the most respected jugglers in my country. (Yes it's a very small country:) )\n",
"rejected": "Pooping in a toilet. At first I was like nah the diapers are working fine, why change what ain't broke? But my parents forced me to use the big boy toilet and I've been using it ever since. I've grown to love the damn thing.\n"
},
{
"query": "In honour of the OP in the valentine's TIFU who I'm pretty sure will be single at some point over the weekend, what do you think you've done recently that was thoughtless and probably upset your SO, even if they didn't say anything?\n\nI've got a good one; my fiancee sat writing wedding invites while I played games a few nights ago. Even though I asked if she needed help and whether it was ok for me to do something else, I'm pretty sure she would have appreciated it if I had volunteered and was simply avoiding conflict by saying everything was fine. I think I fucked up. Not badly enough for her to be really upset with me, but these things add up, and then we dudes wonder where it all went wrong. I'm going to do a couple more things on the wedding list this week before she asks for help with them, both because I feel very ashamed for dropping the ball on that one, but also because it's the right thing to do because this is *our* wedding.\n\nSo what thoughtless shit have you done lately, and how could you do better?\nMen, if you're being brutally honest - what thoughtless things have you done that probably upset your SO lately?",
"chosen": "Am I the only one here that thinks that if OPs fiancee won't explicitly state things like she would appreciate some help that it's at least partially on her to communicate if something is bothering her instead of passively building up resentment? Don't get me wrong, the end result of OP picking up some extra responsibility is respectable but so far everyone is like \"GOOD JOB FOR CHANGING YOUR WAYS BY UNDERSTANDING HER SUBTLE AND NOT IN ANYWAY EXPLICIT AND TOTALLY KIND OF PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE HINTS\"? \n\nI understand the importance of reading a room and understanding body language but this particular example as I understand it is promoting poor communication.\n",
"rejected": "she's a very caring person (one of those people who feels like she has to help everyone, not a bad thing but certainly not the best trait to have) and sometimes i just have no feelings or empathy for someone in a story she tells me, i don't think i'm an asshole but i don't know the person\n"
},
{
"query": "I think I'm being too nice with my guy and it's turning him off. I'm going to have to stop showing that I care so much, because evidently he doesn't know how to appreciate that. Pretty much every guy I've been with has eventually walked all over me because I was \"too nice\", so I know it's me and not them.\nCan a girl be \"too nice\" in a relationship? Examples of this behavior?",
"chosen": "Yes, but the cause generally isn't her niceness. The problem is low self-esteem on her part. \nStuff like her not having an opinion on anything (aka hiding it to conform to mine), never wanting anything from me at all, doing literally anything to keep me around, etc. is a sign of that.\n",
"rejected": "Behave like a doormat, get treated like one.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm currently working a night shift type job and it's just her and I. Things have gotten awkward. I thought it was going to be silent but it surely was not. It happened, we got really quiet, and now we're not talking. Do I address the fart? Do I leave it alone? How do I repair this professional working relationship now? Has anyone else been in a situation like this before?\nGuys what do you do in a situation when you accidentally rip a huge ass fart in front of your female coworker?",
"chosen": "Blame it on her.\n",
"rejected": "Just say hey, remember when I farted earlier in the shift? Feel free to let one rip whenever you please to break this tension between us. It's only right. Eye for an eye.\n"
},
{
"query": "Hi guys. I'm a woman currently in an awesome relationship with the man I love. For years I struggled with relationships and finding the right guy, until I decided to take a friend's advice and just be straight up with guys from the get go. \n\nNo more casual dating or \"not wanting to scare him off with commitment talk.\" I started going out with guys and telling them in a calm, succinct, polite way on the first date that I was looking to settle down and that I wouldn't be having sex without a relationship. \n\nOf course most of them weren't into that, but it was okay. They weren't what I was looking for, I wasn't what they were looking for, everyone could move on without drama or hurt feelings. \n\nOf course my boyfriend happened to be the one who agreed with me completely, who a relationship actually worked out with. We dated for two months before he finally asked me to be his girlfriend and we started having sex. It's gotten exponentially better since then. \n\nI try to tell other girls (who want a relationship) this strategy. There's no point in trying to make a man \"want\" a relationship with you. Be the best person you can be, let him know your intentions from the start, go from there. Yes, there will be rejection, but there will be less heartache. \n\nAnyway, just curious if you guys think this is a good dating strategy for women. What would you think if a girl brought this up on a first date? Would it scare you away even if you were looking for a LTR (not just on the fence)?\n\nThanks for reading.\nHow would you feel if a girl told you on the first date that she is looking for a relationship and won't have sex without commitment?",
"chosen": "I'd probably thank you for your honesty, and then return the favor by telling you that I'm not looking to settle right now (although I'm looking for an LTR, which in my opinion does not necesarily include \"settling\"). \nApart from that, holding off sex for some arbitrary time would also be a big problem for me, especially with the reason that I should have to fulfill some sort of \"committed\" requirement before we can do something that both of us would enjoy if we started a relationship. \n\nHow do you define committed? You probably should be ready to define this. \n\nAll in all I think it's really good to be upfront about what you want, though.\n",
"rejected": "I think it's great, preferable even. However, this is only true if she hasn't had sex casually with other guys before. I'm not interested in feeling like a chump who's told, \"I'm not that kind of girl... starting with you. \"\n"
},
{
"query": "Where would you start and where would you go?\n\nBest scenery?\n\nFantasy vehicle?\n\nWho gets to join you?\nWhat's your ideal road trip?",
"chosen": "Had one that was just about perfect.\n\n3 weeks, mid-winter, with a cute girl who'd been at my university for study abroad and was heading back to Europe after.\n\nStart point Vegas, end point Denver, hitting basically every national park/sight in the Southwest and having them basically all to ourselves (Zion, Bryce, Antelope Canyon, Horseshoe Bend, Grand Canyon, Monument Valley, Canyonlands, Arches, probably something I'm forgetting), and then top it off with a couple days of Colorado skiing. Got lucky with ideal weather throughout.\n\nBudget was tight (although hotels go for about nothing on the deadest weeks of the year) and the vehicle was nothing special, but still, hard to top.\n",
"rejected": "I would start at New York City's Red Ball Garage and end up at the Portofino Hotel in Los Angeles. Hopefully, the trip could be completed in less than 25 hours 39 minutes. Dream car would be a 2021 Shelby GT500 Mustang, and I would probably invite my best friend from high school to join me.\n"
},
{
"query": "I get called cute most of the time and I absolutely hate it! I don't want to be cute! How can I be more gorgeous/stunning/pretty/etc...anything but *cute*? I really hate that word. It feels like I'm just an average girl, kind of like describing a guy as \"nice\" (*shudder*). It also makes me feel like I'm not taken seriously, or that guys don't see me as being on that level.\n\nUnfortunately for me, that's the first (positive) impression most guys have of me. Its feels like if an average girl forced a guy to compliment here, \"cute\" would be the go-to word.\n\nGod I hate it!\nWhats the difference between cute and every other compliment (gorgeous, beautiful, hot etc)?",
"chosen": "Speaking as a man, I consider cute to be a higher compliment than gorgeous/stunning/pretty/etc. It may seem more trite, I suppose, but when I think of gorgeous or stunning women, I imagine them with tons of makeup and expensive designer clothing. When I think of hot, I imagine a bleach blonde with tan lines. Pretty is kind of what you think cute is--good looking, but in a boring way. A woman who is cute is the kind whose beauty just radiates without her doing much to make it happen. She's down to earth and doesn't make you uncomfortable talking to her. Cute is different than those other words, but it's better.\n\nThat said, while reddit has really ruined nice, I'd love it if a woman's impression of me was that I'm kind.\n",
"rejected": "I will explain via a quote from a 1997 TV show that explained it better than anyone in the subsequent 16 years: News Radio.\n\nLisa: Alright, look I did not ask for the stupid award.\n\nBeth: If I were you I'd be upset too. I mean you? Cute? Come on.\n\nLisa: I am not entirely uncute. I... I... Why are you being nasty about this?\n\nBeth: I'm not being nasty. You're pretty. You're very pretty in fact. But cute, I don't \nthink so.\n\nLisa: Well I wasn't aware there was a difference.\n\nBeth: Well of course there is a difference. Pretty means pretty. Cute means pretty but \nshort and/or hyperactive - like me.\n\nLisa: Uh huh. What is beautiful?\n\nBeth: Beautiful means pretty and tall.\n\nLisa: Gorgeous?\n\nBeth: Pretty with great hair.\n\nLisa: Striking?\n\nBeth: Pretty with a big nose.\n\nLisa: OK, you're making this up.\n\nBeth: That's ridiculous, why would I make it up?\n\nLisa: Voluptuous?\n\nBeth: Pretty and fat.\n\nLisa: Sexy?\n\nBeth: Pretty and easy.\n\nLisa: Exotic?\n\nBeth: Ugly\n"
},
{
"query": "The term drug is used very loosely. Mostly things like marijuana, mushrooms, the occasional tab of acid. \n\nThoughts. Go.\nRecreational Drug users of AskMen, would you mind if your girlfriend is also your dealer?",
"chosen": "It'd be a dealbreaker. Risk of being arrested aside, I wouldn't want to deal with the 24/7 schedule that dealers have.\n",
"rejected": "I'm not gonna mix business and pleasure. I'd have to find a new guy.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm male and 19, and I've noticed that some younger girls I know through the child care program at my church (3rd-5th grade) have begun following me around while I work, and occasionally talking to me while blushing and trying not to giggle. They also spend a lot of time talking to my girlfriend, who also goes to our church but volunteers in a different child care room. What do I do? What have other guys done?\nDo younger girls ever have innocent crushes on you? How do you handle it?",
"chosen": "When I read this, I was thinking of 19 year old girls who crush on me... to whom I flirt back, but leave it there.\n\nWith actual children like that, just be a damn good role model. They will be more likely to emulate a male figure they \"like\" (at their age their infatuation isn't even anything remotely sexual, so chill out). Use this opportunity to model respectful and behavior and personal responsibility.\n",
"rejected": "Yeah, my tutoring students. All were high school aged, between 14-18. They would try to take our sessions off track by talking about personal stuff. I was happy to talk about college etc, but only in an academic sense, ie what to expect from classes etc. I never talked about drinking, partying or anything not applicable to our professional relationship. I just made sure I did all my tutoring at their homes ONLY if a parent was present, or in a public space like a library or coffeeshop. That was part of my conditions for tutoring, and it definitely put the parents minds at ease that I took it that seriously. \n\nI never accepted Facebook requests if they asked during our time working together, though I have after the fact, but only after they were 18 and in college. I do like keeping track of my ex-students, they are friends, seeing them grow as people in college is pretty cool. I was 22 when I started and did it for 2 years, so I think they related with me a lot more than if I had been a really old tutor. I'm really proud of them, most have gotten into top schools, and I am happy to have helped them achieve their goals.\n"
},
{
"query": "I have a friend who cries from just about any disney movie. Yes he's a guy. Clearly he cries more than the norm.\n\nBut how many times have you guys cried from watching a movie?\nI know there have been a lot of \"how often do you cry?\" questions. But what about from movies?",
"chosen": "Only once. \"50/50\" right when he awkwardly tries to say \"goodbye\" to his Dad. Holy crap that hit hard. I don't think I can ever watch that movie again.\n",
"rejected": "I cried at the end of Futurama's Jurassic Bark episode, and I won't ever try to deny it.\nThe last movie that did it was Bicentennial man. Something about the existentialism and finding your place in life was just right.\n"
},
{
"query": "They say that if they approach a girl and she says no, the girl ends up feeling good about herself for being attractive while the guy ends up feeling bad because he wasn't enough\n\nIt actually sort of makes sense\nSome of my male friends say they don't approach women because they don't want to boost their ego... does this make sense?",
"chosen": "It sounds more like your male friends are afraid of rejection, and are trying to justify it externally so they don't have to own their problem.\n",
"rejected": "There are several reasons a woman might say 'No.', when approached. \n\n\nAssuming it's because you're 'not enough' is silly.\n"
},
{
"query": "Things that don't seem that creepy to you, but you would never tell them.\n\nI probably think about them too often and most likely wouldn't like her to know because she would probably think it's creepy. Anyone else?\nWhat are some \"strange\" things you do when you like a girl, that you wouldn't want her to know?",
"chosen": "I used to imagine going on vacations/dates with them and how i would impress them.\n\nBeen married awhile so not an issue anymore :)\n",
"rejected": "I always bite my bottom lip. No idea why. I'm trying to train myself out of it. Especially when I see a hot girl pass in the street. I really hope I don't look creepy when I do it!\n"
},
{
"query": "For example, the guy with the super ability to smell what kind of illness someone has would make a hell of a doctor. \n\nor the dude with the super ability to balance things would be an amazing stock boy. \n\nWhatcha got?\nWhat's a super power that would land you a job. . .but not make you powerful enough to be a superhero?",
"chosen": "Cold war Russia.\n",
"rejected": "I can program in every language and get it right on the first try with no errors and my code always works correctly.\n"
}
] | 10
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000335693359375,
"logprob2": -6.375,
"signal": 6.374664306640625
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00008535385131835938,
"logprob2": -7,
"signal": 6.999914646148682
}
| 0.62525
| 2
|
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