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{
"query": "Anyone planning a no-buy for next year? Or Anything simliar? \n\nI am thinking of trying one out after 2 years of a ‘buy nothing new’ streak. My fashion budget is usually only $300 a year, but just for the sake of cutting down on waste and on possessions I am thinking of doing a 6 month no-buy. I just want to learn to stop hunting for new things and be happy with what I have.\n\n\n**Review of my two years of buy nothing new:**\n\n\nWhen I first started, I was working part time and going to school part-time. I had a lots of time and was able to find a lot of cool stuff. The thrift store near me does half-priced Mondays, and I happened to have time to shop on that day. Also, I was working high-level retail sales the previous year so I had lots of cool stuff(75% discount with 1 free item per month). Once my cohort started, I had like zero time/energy to shop and stuck with poshmark since I was so focused on academic achievement. First year, since I had more time I spent more(around $330/20 items), but all of those were low cost buys. With poshmark, I spent more per piece, but less over all($173/6 items) Now that I am working, I have the time but I also wear a uniform to work so its not like I really need to have any new stuff. So I thought I would try to level up challenge wise and try a buy-no period out.\nNo-Buy/Low-Buy/Buy-Nothing new 2020",
"chosen": "I will try!!! I have spent far too much money on clothing in 2019 in hopes of getting my wardrobe to a more adult place. Only thing I plan on buying in 2020 is a cuyana leather tote. In 2019 I cut out Amazon/ASOS (+ all fast fashion), and buying makeup I don't wear/need, so I feel like I can do it!\n",
"rejected": "I tried a few months of no-buy in 2019, and when I \"fell off\" I ended up going a bit wild and figured since I'd messed up already, there was no point in not going all out and spending hundreds! So clearly, that didn't work out. 😕\n\nI think I'm going to try a low-buy/no-buy-new for a few months in 2020, and extend the goal as I go. Committing to a year didn't work, but a month or two at a time is a little more doable. I hope. My closet is packed and I need to save money for some trips I have planned...\n"
},
{
"query": "I mean in all ways from thieves to spills that stain and everything in between. I recently brought a Prada Vela backpack and I'm in the process of finding a local store to buy a long wallet in person (the retail selection online seems limited, mostly sold out). These are my first *designer* pieces and I want to make sure I treat them right and beyond that keep them for many years to come. Not just because they're expensive but because I bought/am buying them to commemorate a sizable step in my professional life that I want to look back on for many years to come :) I am a college student but atm I'm hired by a company and plan to alternate between this and a different (brown) bag.\n\nThis is the first... anything really I've owned more expensive than my TI-84+ and I spazz out over losing even that.\n\nSooo, how do you care for and maintain the integrity of your more expensive items? What steps do I take to prevent or strongly discourage theft? Any tips appreciated!\nWhat do you ladies do to protect your investment pieces?",
"chosen": "I'm not sure exactly how this works, but in my industry (makeup artistry) many women are able to take out insurance on their kits. If you have designer pieces, I'm pretty sure you can insure those as well.\n\nIf I remember correctly, most are insured under your home insurance (fire/ flooding). That's something that you can possibly look into through your own insurance company :)\n",
"rejected": "THEFT - I live in a pretty bad/high theft area - my main thing is I don't buy anything that can be readily identified as designer brand/expensive. Walk down the street with an LV tote, everyone's going to know. Walk down the street with a Kate Spade/Prada bag where the label can be easily hidden (by turning label inwards, or literally just positioning your arm over it). I wouldn't take anything expensive anywhere where I constantly do not have a hold on it - I would never put it down even for just a second. Which sounds very paranoid I know, but that's just how I am.\n\nStore in dust bag, away from direct sunlight. I keep mine safely in a box in the back of my cupboard.\n"
},
{
"query": "I have only met one girl who plays games, so I'm interested in finding out what other girls play. \n\nPersonally I've played paladins, fallout, skyrim, black ops zombies, COD, Zelda and etc. \n\nIm just all over the place. What are you guys?\nWhat do all you girls on here play?",
"chosen": "Botw, stardew valley, Guild wars 2, fallout 3, the Witcher 3, dragon age inquisition(2nd run). Are currently what I have installed/playing. \n\nI don't know if this counts as all over the place? I try to play what's good/worth the time. I made the mistake of being a little brand loyal with the last mass effect and it really screwed me over, so lesson learned.\n",
"rejected": "Right now I’m stuck in a never-ending loop of various Assassins Creed games (can you tell by my URL?) but I love multiplayer Diablo whenever my buddies are in town and kicking their butts in Mario Kart if they ever dare challenge me. 😈\n"
},
{
"query": "Hi FFA, \n\nI am excited to be starting a new job soon and I am doing the dreadful interpretation of the organization's dress code. When I visited for the interview, clothing ranged from business professional to jeans and sandals. Needless to say, I'm at a loss. \n\nOf course, I reached out to HR and I am getting the actual guidelines, but in the meantime, what are your experiences starting a job and interpreting the dress code? Any missteps?\nParsing your company's dress code:Share your lessons learned",
"chosen": "Err on the side of too formal, even if it feels boring. Dress pants and button ups are hard to fail. \n\nDon't wear anything that would appropriate in a gym or a club. \n\nNo visible underwear (bra straps, etc)\n\nNo stains, tears, or holes.\n",
"rejected": "I started a at company yesterday that is “dress for your day.” What is that?! I am in a position that interacts with the exec staff often and look a little younger than I am, so I am going with business casual and then jeans on Fridays. Otherwise I would probably dress smart casual. I know how you are feeling—I saw several people wearing Tevas and in my last company any kind of flip flops would have been a definite no!\n"
},
{
"query": "Curious to know what you feel really defines your style! Let's have a share party.\nLadies of the Alt/Punk/Goth/Emo/Dark Colors Style Persuasion: What are your favorite pieces?",
"chosen": "Sounds boring but black pantyhose. I keep the ripped ones in a separate drawer as the undamaged ones so I can coordinate my outfit depending on the occasion.\n",
"rejected": "I have a public facing job, so here's my corporate dark list:\n\n* Almost all items in black, navy, burgundy, or olive, or a few light neutrals.\n* Cuts for basic wardrobe workhorses are fairly typical corporate - pencil skirts, button downs, trousers, sheath dresses.\n* Shoes are subtly alt - boots, pointy oxfords and the like. No ballet slippers or heels, though I do have some simple loafers that I love.\n* Some funky cardigans and scarves - drapey waterfall elements for the swoosh factor\n* The details are spot on - edgy jewelry (amber in simple settings, a big wooden cuff ring, a simple but pointy cuff bracelet and the like), winged eyeliner with dark eyeshadow, nails in odd colors (I'm sporting a dark purple at the moment, I've done gold, olive, teal, and blue without raising any boss eyebrows - but I think it's important that the nails are never chipped, I keep them perfect).\n\nThe details, colors, and drapey elements keep my inner dark goddess happy. The cuts keep my boss happy. The overall vibe really works well.\n"
},
{
"query": "Personally, I think it's going to bomb. I mean, I liked Dragon Age: Origins, but it just seems like every sequel since then is aiming for a different/smaller/(more)niche audience and that the sales are going to show for that. It definitely did for Dragon Age II.\n\nTheir PR team isn't really anything to write home about either. But like I said before, that's just my expectation. I want to hear everyone's; good, bad, optimistic, indifferent, etc.\nWhat are everyone's expectations for Dragon Age: Inquisition?",
"chosen": "I'm pumped! I'm going to Gamescom next week and hope to sneak a peek. But unfortunately it'll come out around the time I have to write my Bachelor's thesis, there is gonna be some conflict of interest...\n",
"rejected": "Aren't you just a ray of s sunshine. :p\n\nFrom what I've seen, I'm expecting an absolutely gorgeous game. From what I've heard, I'm expecting an intriguing story. From experience with BioWare, I am expecting wonderfully written and believable characters. \n\nMost of all I'm expecting to live and breathe this game for at least two months. :) It's going to be engaging and *fun*.\n"
},
{
"query": "PIPER! I love it so much! I was looking up girl names and this one just *spoke* to me. It was a brilliant moment. It's got the perfect amount of spunk for my personality ;). What'd y'all think?\nI decided my new name!!!",
"chosen": "That's Agent Scully's daughter's name!\n",
"rejected": "I like it!\n\nDid you try to keep initials or just whatever name you loved?\n"
},
{
"query": "Hi, so I’m finally out of a very bad depressive phase and I wanna start gaming again, I’m very limited right now only having a switch and a pc (I’m super bad at pc games so if you recommend something pc please make it something simple) I just really wanna get back into being a gamer girl I once was! C: \n\nIf it helps I really like RPGs, Hack n slash, adventure/puzzle games, tell tale games, and any kinda fun relaxing game.\n\nThe only games I cannot play are FPS, I get really bad motion sickness to the point where I puke from them (some other games too but it’s more tolerable) no clue why this happens but yea lol.\nNeed Game Recommendations",
"chosen": "Not a girl, but my favorite title on the switch has been Stonefly. It was something nice to look forward to during a dark time for me last year. You play as a girl who is trying to find her dad's stolen project, which is a mech designed to fight bugs and traverse the forest. BTW you're tiny. It's very fun and flowy and the music is great. Neat story, and you feel yourself getting more in tune with the controls as you play. Worth the spend.\n",
"rejected": "Final fantasy 14 is really great! But has a bit of a learning curve. But there are TONS of nice people in game that can help you dip your toes. Some servers are more geared towards told play, others areore raid/PvP oriented.. Some are just chill casual\n"
},
{
"query": "For example, estrogen is also important for bone synthesis. So, do bones ache more, trans men? Or do your bones ache less, trans women? This type of things which are like not directly observable unless told.\n\nNSFW effects are also welcome\nHi, everyone talks about growing books when taking E or growing beard when taking T but what are passive effects you faced after HRT?",
"chosen": "I have not experienced bones aching ever in my life, before or after hormones.\n\nThe effect of testosterone no one seems to talk about until someone asks (and the everyone says \"oh, yeah, that totally happened to me\") is thicker fingernails and sometimes nails growing faster. Most other things I can think of get talked about if you spend time in transmasculine spaces.\n",
"rejected": "common misconception, estrogen doesn't grow books it merely grows pages which can later be bound as books but can also be used for smaller works like pamphlets or magazines \n\ngenerally sufficient levels of either primary sex hormone prevents worse bone density, so usually thats not an issue.\n\nI guess my sense of smell and taste have changed a fair but on estrogen, its not radical or anything but Ive gone from preferring the darkest possible roast to a lighter roast with coffee, i'm less fond or licorice, etc. \n\ni get colder easier and all the time\n"
},
{
"query": "I saw a segment on “Good Morning America” (maybe the “Today Show?”) that featured UV protective clothing and they conducted a test that measured the temperature of the clothes after 10 mins of sun. They found that different brands provided different levels of heat protection in addition to UV protection. For example, one shirt was at 92F, another was at 83F, and her cotton shorts was at 100F (rough temperature estimates based on my memory). All this is to say that it got me thinking. \n\nSo my questions to FFA are:\n\n(1) What UV protective clothing keeps you cool while out and about doing active things like hiking?\n\n(2) What UV protective clothing would you wear out for a summer brunch?\nWhat UV protective clothing do you recommend?",
"chosen": "Uniqlo makes some of their basic cardigans, pullovers, and tees with UV protection. The line is called UV Cut. It’s really nice if you want something that has protection but doesn’t look like athletic wear.\n",
"rejected": "I think Athleta has UV protective clothing that you can wear in nicer settings \n\nI haven’t personally shopped there though\n"
},
{
"query": "This thread is for simple style questions that you may have, especially those that don't warrant their own thread. We all want a diversified opinion, so feel free to answer any questions (of which you know the answer).\n\nExample questions: What are your favorite black boots <$250? What should I wear on a date? Are there any good white t-shirts?\nSimple Questions - September 05, 2016",
"chosen": "Ladies who walk to work, how do you arrive without looking like a sweaty mess? I just took a walked to find my workplace for tomorrow and my back was completely soaked from my sweat. Do you usually go to a nearby washroom and change?\n",
"rejected": "Since I try to create my own style by building first on the basics I have encountered a huge obstacle in the last months. I literally can't find to buy anything that is neither 70s or 90s fashion, or anything that is trendy right now.\n\nI have searched online, in stores both in Western and Eastern Europe, I am close to having a breakdown. My problem is that those trends or those pieces do not represent me in any ways and I'm in serious need of basic and timely articles.\n\nThe colors seem to be also non existent or just a few shades, I have no idea what to do anymore. I'm really willing to invest money in good pieces if I could find some! Please, any piece of advice is highly appreciated! thank you!\nI'm also 23 so I wish to dress appropriately for my age\n"
}
] | 4
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3895
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[
{
"query": "Hello men of Reddit :) \n\nI have a very high libido, and I think this is a problem in my relationships. \n\nMy last relationship ended after 2.5 years in part because I wasn't sexually satisfied by him, and he preferred masturbating/porn watching to having sex with me. It hadn't always been like that; in the beginning, we had sex a few times a week, but it dwindled down to a couple of times a month, which was extremely difficult for me, as I felt undesired.\n\nI have been dating my current boyfriend for about 3 months, and while sex with him is great, it's not as frequent as I'd like. I have communicated to him that if I could, I'd have sex at least once a day (multiple times a day on days off/weekends etc), and that I want a guy who is as into me as I am into him, sexually.\n\nHe actually just told me this morning, \"when it feels like a chore, I don't feel like doing it.\" \n\nHelp!! I don't want sex to feel like a chore - I feel like I'm creating the exact environment I want to avoid! How can I fix this? What am I doing wrong/what can I do to change my behavior and make it more fun/natural than chore-like? Has anyone else been in this situation?\nSex as a chore?",
"chosen": "Just wondering, as you've said this happened before, is it your libido that makes you want to have sex daily, or does sex mean something else to you? Like do you think if you don't have sex daily, you are unloved/undesirable?\n",
"rejected": "maybe you need to find a lover. if you love someone you naturally want to please them. also helps to talk which is much easier when love is involved. sounds like you just want to fuck. much more in life than that.\n"
},
{
"query": "A coworker once told me I do a lot of things with \"style\" and and that I always look really cool when I do it. What about you guys?\nWhat's an unusual compliment you received that you really liked",
"chosen": "This is something I told someone else that I didn't mean as a compliment, but their response was \"That's the best compliment I've ever received.\"\n\nI told him I had gone to a conference about how our lives are like a story, and we develop our own character by who we spend the most time with. So I told him I wanted to hang out with him more.\n",
"rejected": "Not sure if it is particularly unusual, but I was told I’m a “renaissance man” because I have a variety of hobbies/interests/skills.\n\nI’m not a handyman or artist, but I do beekeeping, some gardening (mostly growing native milkweeds), wildlife photography, and freediving to name the most prominent.\n\nI suppose I really liked it because I don’t have typical “masculine” skills and it was nice that someone at least recognized that I have a skill set regardless.\n"
},
{
"query": "As I was reading comments about men not taking NO for answer when picking up women, I realized that I haven't even tried to charm woman once in last three years (m29).\n\nSo how about you, normal people, how often do you try that? What are some normie numbers?\nHow often do you try pickup women?",
"chosen": "I've never tried. I am not physically attractive, I have difficulty noticing/reading social cues, and I am not an expert conversationalist by any stretch.\n\nCombined, I see no point in trying to approach. I simply lack what is needed to make that work.\n",
"rejected": "i asked out a girl 1 timein the past two years and it went poorly lol\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm just wondering if it's an aim thing or something. Seems like if men could pee with the seat down it would save either of us from having to touch the seat to either lift it or put it down.\nWhy can't men pee with the seat down?",
"chosen": "Take a garden hose turn it on full blast and then slowly shut off the water. Same general idea. I suppose we could sit down to pee but there's some stigma attached to that and frankly it's easier not to.\n",
"rejected": "Why don't we pee with the seat down? because we don't need to. I ain't wasting my time dropping trow just to pee.\n"
},
{
"query": "My girlfriend and I are studying abroad in different places, and a couple of days ago she jokingly mentioned how much Denmark (where she's studying) sucks because its harder to get guys to buy her drinks. I told her I was uncomfortable with this, because 1. Its unfair to the guy and 2. Because accepting a drink sometimes comes with expectations that could turn into a bad situation. She eventually agreed to only accepting drinks from guys if she told them that she had a boyfriend and they still wanted to buy her one (if they want to waste their money it's fine by me), but she made it seem like I was being incredibly irrational. Am I being irrational, or is this a reasonable concern?\nUncomfortable with my girlfriend accepting drinks from guys at the bar: am I being irrational?",
"chosen": "She shouldn't be accepting drinks period, and should be immediately shutting them down. Sure sounds like that's not what she's doing. (This is part of why I never dated women who went to bars or clubs.)\n\nShe honestly probably enjoys the attention, which is another thing I find shady.\n\nAnd this doesn't even address the possibility that the drink someone gets her is drugged.\n",
"rejected": "Girls that try to get guys to buy them drinks make me glad I'm an asshole.\n"
},
{
"query": "I personally hate guys asking ..Tell me about yourself or what you wearing ...🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️\nSO guys ..what's a question you hate/dislike the ladies asking and why ?",
"chosen": "Okay guys look as a lady I’m sorry okay?\n\nI think we’re curious creatures that have to many thoughts in a day and we like to pick your brain to understand you.\n\nMy poor boyfriend comes home from work and when I ask him what he wants to eat tomorrow he’s I don’t care \n\nIt’s hard to adjust too \nBut I’m my own experience it’s us just trying to know you and take care of you.\n",
"rejected": "How tall are you?\n"
},
{
"query": "I've just asked the women this on askwomen and I'd like a male perspective. So which tv character would you have sex with? And why do they ring your bell?. so to speak.\n\nPs thanks for reading and possibly answering.\nWhich tv character would you have sex with and why?",
"chosen": "She's not on tv anymore but Ariana Grande. Now Sarah Hyland.\n",
"rejected": "Bernadette from the Big Bang theory. \nBrilliant. Ambitious. A little shy, but crazy enough to still be lots of fun. \nFreaking gorgeous. Solid career. Body like woa. Smarter than most. \nI want one.\n"
},
{
"query": "I have three, the first one is maintaining eye contact for a long time, never got that one. All girls who did it didnt like me apparently. Second would be touching you for no reason, had a girl touching my elbow with her face randomly in a social situation. Add to that the puppy eyes and approaching me out of the blue, it was embarrasing to see her acting so rudely with me later (even though the fault was mine, too pushy).\n\n\n\n\nNone of these were indicators of the woman liking me as the belief goes, what are yours?\nMen, what hints/reactions from women do you absolutely not get?",
"chosen": "Honestly, a lot of the \"flirting cues\" that I see in Askmen(touching her hair, touching you, or laughing at what you say) I don't find to be true. Most of the time, when I do that, its just because I'm comfortable with you, not necessarily attracted. This applies to other girls too.\n",
"rejected": "Basically, all of them. Every woman is different. What one woman considers hinting, another woman considers \"just being friendly\", or \"casual innocent flirting\" with no end goal to it. You can't win.\n\nThat's why I no longer respond to hints.\n"
},
{
"query": "What you do when your parents tease you about not having a girlfriend considering your age and that you should have a girlfriend long time ago and you are still single ?\nWhat you do when your parents tease you about not having a girlfriend ?",
"chosen": "Double down and tell them you're gay.\n",
"rejected": "Date a bunch of bitches to get back at them. Protip: start doing drugs to assert dominance. ^(Don't actually do this stuff...)\n"
},
{
"query": "So I was watching the republican debates with someone yesterday and they were talking about immigration. My republican friend started talking about how it was not fair that they become legal citizens so on and so forth. Perfectly reasonable points. But then he said \"If they were allowed to vote the republican party as it is now would completely disappear and that scares me\". I was like \"But isn't that what is supposed to happen, when the views of the nation change so to should the elected officials?\". He got kind of quiet after that and I realized \"Holy shit, he is against it because he is afraid of other peoples views having the level of power his have now\".\n\nI know I have had these issues when it comes to Women's issues, mainly because I was angry I was not getting laid and I now recognize that was most of it. \n\nSo men, when have you held a view that you thought was reasonable, but was actually just justifying racism, sexism, etc.\nMen of reddit when have you held a view that seemed reasonable but eventually realized that it was based in racism/sexism/etc?",
"chosen": "I used to be a libertarian.\n\n*shudders*\n",
"rejected": "A view doesn't have to be unreasonable just because it's sexist/racist.\n\nIt's perfectly logical for women to be more afraid of men than other women when walking home at night. That doesn't mean it isn't sexist.\n\nStatistically, it makes sense for a person to be more afraid of blacks than whites. It's still racism.\n\nOptimally, sexism and racism shouldn't exist, but as the world works right now it's not unreasonable to hold racist/sexist thoughts. I think what matters the most is that you don't let them control you, and realize the inherent moral wrongs and negatives in having them.\n"
}
] | 6
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[
{
"query": "For me it’s not caring about social connections or work experience during my college years - silly of me, but it just keeps coming to me.\nWhat is something you really regret?",
"chosen": "Nothing really I just live my life.\n",
"rejected": "Not participating in offline events to meet new people and friends. Now I'm lonely\n"
},
{
"query": "Title pretty much says it. I thought it would be interesting to get the perspective of the opposite sex.\nWhat are some things women do with GOOD intentions that drive you nuts/turn you off? [x-post/AskWomen]",
"chosen": "trying to not 'emasculate' me when I actually need help.\n",
"rejected": "When they go out of their way to be \"one of the guys\".\n\nYou love strip clubs? Oh really? Most guys don't even \"love\" strip clubs. It's usually a male bonding thing where you're trying to cheer or a buddy up or send him off to marriage. I never brag or talk about going to strip clubs, so why do you?\n\nOh you're a big football fan? I notice you never chime in when we're talking about the offenses or defenses or a players performance from this week-to-last, but you talk about everything else throughout the entire game.\n\nIt doesn't make her a lame person or make me want to end a friendship (I know they're just trying to seem cool, or easy-going), but it's always something that makes me cringe a little and turns me off.\n"
},
{
"query": "We're having a small baby boom in my extended family and my cousin was complaining the other day about all her favourite names being taken by our older cousins one-by-one. I haven't really given it too much thought, but it would be interesting to hear what you have to say.\nGuys, do you have any names picked out already for your future children?",
"chosen": "I do. My last name is Cole and I want to have a boy and name him Keli (Kelly) - Think girl names for boys sound pretty cool.\n",
"rejected": "I've always liked the name Jazz for some reason, could be my son's name, or if I have a daughter name her Jasmine and call her Jazz\n"
},
{
"query": "(Seen on r/askwomen, thought it might be fun to see how the responses might be different)\nSatan opens \"Heck,\" the less severe circles of Hell. What goes on there my dudes, aside from the obvious unadulterated thermostat tampering?",
"chosen": "This time there's nothing but 10mm sockets.\n",
"rejected": "You have to sit next to the most beautiful demoness in Heck for 2 hours. All the while you have to fart.\n"
},
{
"query": "let me preface this by saying no this is not a joke.\n\nI should start with the basics and some disclaimers. I was born female. I am romantically and sexually attracted to men. I am not a tumblr socialjustice type. still, while honesty is welcome, please don't be rude. to any trans people reading if anything I say offends you I'm sorry I really am, I just want some answers to my question.\n\nnow then. I'm what is known as a person with transgender history. for years I identified as male and had gender dysphoria (discomfort or disgust with the female aspects of my body and existence, basically). that's how I saw myself, as a guy. I considered myself transgender and socially transitioned. this means that I started presenting as male - I ticked male on forms, dressed in men's clothes, used men's bathrooms, bound my chest, cut my hair short, changed my name to a man's name, all the people in my life referred to me using male pronouns, the works. I was my brother's brother. my father's other son. the funny thing is I actually am very feminine looking and quite attractive (just being honest). it was a huge irony at the time and I constantly got told that I made a \"hot girl so why would you do this to yourself\".\n\nwhile I sought a referral to things like counselling and psych, I never actually did any medical transitioning for fear of something called \"trans regret\", which is when someone \"de-transitions\" - they medically transition (surgery and/or hormones etc) but then change back because they feel they made a mistake. I never took any hormones. I never had any surgery. My female body is one hundred percent untouched and intact.\n\njust as well I was so cautious and didn't jump into anything like that because here we are today years later. I identify fully as a girl. I wear feminine clothing and makeup and have female pronouns and a girl's name. guys hit on me in bars. I no longer feel trans or male or masculine and I no longer feel dysphoria with my body. why this is I cannot say I just know that this is where I am now and that I'm happy, and fully comfortable about being a girl. if I didn't tell you about my history you would never know from looking at me.\n\nso that is my strange journey (if you have any questions feel free to ask, just don't be a dick). now on to my issue. I don't tell guys I see casually or have one night stands with my history. I don't want to lie to them or be dishonest but if you're just a fuck then why bother, it's not like you disclose your full medical history to one night stands or friends with benefits.\n\nbut I feel like for anyone I would start seeing on a serious level, it would be the honest thing to do to tell them. it's a part of my past, I'm different today but not ashamed of it, and I'd feel like they'd have a right to know. my question to you is this: if a girl you'd been dating for a while, who you thought things might go somewhere with and you quite liked her, if she turned around one day and was like hey we need to talk there's something I have to tell you, and told you what I just said up there, what would you do? would that completely freak you out and you'd run outta there without a backwards glance? I get it, it's a hell of a thing to be told and the average joe would be like WHAT THE FUCK. I'm just wondering are there any guys out there that WOULDN'T think I'm a total freak and would still consider seeing me romantically? this is something I stew over quite a lot.\n\nthanks for your time.\nI used to want to be a guy and identified as trans --dealbreaker?",
"chosen": "I'd have a ton of questions, specifically about what made you change your mind. I'd fear it was indicative of an insecure/indecisive personality.\n",
"rejected": "If you're anatomically a girl now, always have been, and have no plans to change that, then it's no dealbreaker to me.\n"
},
{
"query": "How do you feel about others using them? Are they annoying, or do they evoke another kind of emotion? Are you more or less likely to talk to someone who uses emojis?\nHow do you feel about emojis in online dating profiles?",
"chosen": "It's the 21st century. We're not communicating with Hieroglyphics. \n\nIf I were to send you a message, you better use at least some words in your response.\n",
"rejected": "As long as it doesn't reach \"SIGN ME THE FUCK UP, GOOD SHIT! 👀👀👀💯💯💯💯👌👌👌👌👌\" levels, I won't think much of it. If there's an emoji after every line of information... just why?\n"
},
{
"query": "It's not too often that I dress in a certain way to impress a guy but I find it interesting and sometimes helpful to know what guys aren't into lately and why?\nWhat are some current women's styles/trends that you can't stand?",
"chosen": "Bald heads.\n\nIm just not a fan.\n",
"rejected": "Nose, cheek, eyebrow, tongue, bellybutton, nipple or clit piercings. \n\nTattoos. \n\nLet me be clear. It's your body, you want them you go right ahead and be you. We'll still be friends. \n\nI just find them incredibly off putting and unattractive.\n"
},
{
"query": "Please state where you live too! Ideas to talk about: People, Culture, Sites, Landscape! Whatever comes to mind! Thanks\nPeople who have travelled to the UK but are from abroad, What differs and similarities do you see between your country and the UK?",
"chosen": "My home country is Palestine.\n\n- The fact that everyone speaks English and all the signs are only in English and shit was weird but expected. \n\n- The sweet sweet equality in the UK. Palestine has patriarchal bullshit like most Arab countries\n\n- People in the UK seem much more cold and unfriendly\n\n- I went to London and the sidewalks were very clean. It was odd but nice\n",
"rejected": "I'm from Melbourne (Aus), and spent the first 3 days of my 6 week Europe trip in London. \n\nThe cities are basically the same - relatively clean, concrete, steel and glass everywhere. Seemed to be a lot more trees around London though, and it's not set out as nicely as Melbourne (which is fair, Melbourne's only a couple hundred years old and the CBD is built in a grid). \n\nFound it adorable catching the train and hearing the announcements every 10 minutes about the heat and to stay hydrated (I think? It was a few years back) when it was only about 30-35 degrees.\n"
},
{
"query": "could be anything from moving across country to a job offer\nWhat is the biggest leap of faith you've taken and how did it turn out?",
"chosen": "I quit my job, broke up with my GF, and moved halfway across the country for school. Its going.\n",
"rejected": "I just got out of a messy relationship, so I was kind of down. I had a good job at a machine shop in the chrome department. It had health insurance, dental, lots of over time and vacation, I also fucking hated it. So the combination of the break up, working a third shift job I hated, very little sleep for months, so I realized something had to change and it was going to happen on its own. I always wanted to work out west, I was a snowboard instructor for 8 years at that point, and I had some certs. So with some help of my friend I got a great instructor job at his resort. Im getting up to three times what i made at the chrome shop, i get to board everyday, i work with a lot of great people, my bosses are awesome, ive met some very impressive people. Im glad i took the chance, i was very afraid that i would be getting into a job that wouldn't pay me enough to make it, but i did. After all that ive done at the ski school i even have an award named after me. Feels awesome\n"
}
] | 6
|
{
"logprob1": -7.152557373046875e-7,
"logprob2": -6.375,
"signal": 6.374999284744263
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00015926361083984375,
"logprob2": -10.75,
"signal": 10.74984073638916
}
| 4.374841
| 2
|
2257
|
[
{
"query": "Thought it would be interesting to get some feedback on what you guys consider to be red flags or more normal behaviour. I'm having some issues in my relationship where i have found myself stopping and thinking, would the other majority of other men put up with this?\n\nSome examples\n\n\nShe accepts free drinks or even food from guys when out at bars with her friends and I'm not there\n\nFlirting with guys at bars, e.g going up to them and playfully taking their hats etc.\n\nLogs onto her ex boyfriends facebook account to look through his stuff\n\nGets very annoyed if any girl was to come up to me to talk to me when we're out at a bar\n\nIf we have an arguement she will talk trash about me to her friends, I feel like this is bad as it just makes them look at me in a poor light\n\nWill reply to messages from guys who were trying to fuck her just before we got together. Like they will onviously message her drunk or something saying 'hey whats up' and she will still bother to reply.\n\n\nWhat of these would you guys see as no-no's in your relationship? And out of interest what are some other subtle red flags you have come to notice over the years.\nMen of reddit, what are some of your relationship red flags?",
"chosen": "If she's rude to wait staff or service people \n\nIf she talks shit about all her exes\n",
"rejected": "constantly going from relationship to relationship with little to no personal growth time being single in between is a massive massive red flag for me.\n"
},
{
"query": "There seems to be lot's of stories about guy's misinterpreting women's advances. Or stories about how guys feel hopeless with the opposite sex. \n\nWhat are some of your stories where everything went perfectly? How did you 'seduce' her? Was it luck, or a carefully orchestrated plan?\n\nPlease feel free to brag a bit, everyone needs to get props for when something goes well :)\nWhat is the smoothest thing you've ever done and had it work?",
"chosen": "Not me, but I watched my brother make this play and it's become a family legend.\n\nAt a bar with my brother, Dana. We finish shooting some pool and head over to the bar for another round. As we're waiting to get served, Dana starts chatting up this girl that was standing next to us. He just smiled at her and said \"Hi my name's Dana, what's your name?\" and immediately she lights up and responds \"Hey, my name is Dana too!\". My brother, without missing a beat and with balls of absolute steel, goes \"No way! I've never made out with another Dana before, want to make out?!\", smiles, and leans in a bit for a kiss. She went for it. He ended up going back to her place and I took a taxi home. Sometimes I really wish I had a girl's name too...\n",
"rejected": "This guy came over to watch Netflix and we were on two different couches and he stole the blanket I had and I tried to take it back. He pulled it back hard and pulled me on top of him. He was like \"fine, we can share.\" and sat up and pulled me next to him and put his arm around me. We ended up making out. \nI had no idea he even had the slightest interest in me.\nSo, as a female, this is the smoothest thing a guy has done.\n"
},
{
"query": "Recently ended things with a great (28yr old) guy I was seeing due to his stagnant lifestyle. He works only on weekends, lives in the basement of his dads house, plays video games and watches movies all week. He does this til about 7am and then wakes up at 1 or 2pm.\n\nWhen I ended things, he agreed with me that he's become too complacent with his life, and was disappointed that I decided to end things instead of addressing it to him first. We got on well, and he said he would've been happy knowing a person he has feelings for wants to help. Moreover,that you'd think a person who really cares about you, would stick it out and try to be a motivator instead of jumping the gun and leaving (as I did). \n\nI've been in a couple of relationships before where I took on a nurturing/rehabilitating girlfriend role, and frankly, I wouldn't mind meeting a guy who just has his shit together. Am I wrong? Should I have stuck it out to be a 'motivator'? He made me feel a little guilty about it. What're your thoughts?\nHave you ever changed your lifestyle because of a woman?",
"chosen": "I don't think it's possible to change a man who doesn't want to , but it is possible to be the one who lights the fire under a man who does.\n",
"rejected": "Becoming the \"motivator\" just makes you the target, and puts you into an ugly mommy role that you don't want to be in. Ultimately it will be counterproductive.\n\nIf he, any he in the world, gets his shit together on his own time, and in his own way, he'll own that activity for himself. That's very important.\n"
},
{
"query": "Or maybe you realized it really WAS correct. Please share whatever you think is pertinent. Thanks guys!\nWhat misconception did you have about women that you realized was incorrect as you got older?",
"chosen": "I did not realize how close the vagina was to the butthole.\n",
"rejected": "That women didn't care about looks. I think there would be less \"nice guys\" if people stopped peddling that bullshit and told dudes to change their appearance instead of \"be themselves\" when it came to advice for attracting women.\n"
},
{
"query": "Depending on the movement of course. If it's a normal movement, I just take off my shirt. However, if it's one where I'm going to be there a while and I'm going to have shoot something out, I'll get fully naked. Take my socks off too.\nHow naked do you get when you poop?",
"chosen": "I never understood people who get naked to poop. I just pull my pants/shorts down mid thigh and go. Sometimes I might already have my shirt off, so that's about as naked as it gets.\n",
"rejected": "What the fuck?\n\nI just pull my pants down. You're only going to be in there for five minutes, what the fuck are you getting naked for?\n"
},
{
"query": "We all know ladies look for trash cans in the bathrooms and sheets that aren’t indicative of a 10-year-old, but what are some things you’d like to see in HER house or apartment?\nWhat kinds of green flags would you like to see in a woman’s place?",
"chosen": "A pool table.\n",
"rejected": "A little bit of a mess at least. A sterile extremely organized neat place would probably mean we wouldn't do well in the long run. \nAny signs of a hobby especially sports. \nA dog or dogs. \nKinda realized that I'm just describing what I saw when I came over my SO's apartment for the first time.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm asking this question because I'm straight and don't really get it why it's so popular since I don't share this sentiment.\nStraight guys, why is lesbian porn so popular among heterosexual men?",
"chosen": "There’s really no mystery: women are attractive.\n",
"rejected": "Why are two slices of pizza better than one? Why are two scoops of ice cream better than one? Why does posi-traction on a plymouth work? It just does\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm an American living in Europe and have been somewhat taken aback by the cultural differences when dating. In the US, I often spend time wondering whether the guy likes me or not, if we're exclusive, if we're \"official\" or not, and so on. Whereas here, once you hook up with a friend, they're your SO.\nHave you ever had to deal with cultural differences when dating and what was it like?",
"chosen": "I moved from the UK to Northern Europe and dating here has been much more pleasurable. Mainly because there seems to be no stigma about women doing the asking here, and no arbitrary rules about how many dates you have to wait before you sleep with someone or how many \"proper dates\" you have to go on before you get to the fun part of lying around watching movies and having sex. (Definitely not implying that everybody has these rules or follows them in the UK, they just seem to be a bit more prevalent).\n\nI would agree that people here are far more upfront in letting you know how they feel about a relationship. Not really something I've had to \"deal with\", because I much prefer it this way. The upfrontoness does mean that there is a less \"softly softly\" approach to telling someone what you don't like about them, which was a bit jarring until I got used to it.\n",
"rejected": "Briefly dated a Mexican girl. Her family was pretty great, but the get-togethers were overwhelming. A small gathering with just the nuclear family and cousins could easily be 100+ people. But it was nice how they could be friends with their family - my cousins were always just strangers I saw at Christmas.\n"
},
{
"query": "I FIRMLY believe that cake is inferior to cupcakes. I can and will fight about this.\nDudes, what arbitrary thing do you have an extremely strong opinion on?",
"chosen": "My hatred of Chocolate Chip, Cinnamon Sugar, Rainbow, and Funfetti Bagels. Bagels should be savory, that's what sets them apart.\n\nWHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE; Bagels are meant to be savory! Chocolate chip bagels, rainbow bagels, even blueberry bagels are pushing it. Go eat a fucking donut you lunatic. It's probably less calories anyway. FUCK!\n",
"rejected": "THEY WERE ON A BREAK!\n"
},
{
"query": "It's not too often that I dress in a certain way to impress a guy but I find it interesting and sometimes helpful to know what guys aren't into lately and why?\nWhat are some current women's styles/trends that you can't stand?",
"chosen": "Bald heads.\n\nIm just not a fan.\n",
"rejected": "Nose, cheek, eyebrow, tongue, bellybutton, nipple or clit piercings. \n\nTattoos. \n\nLet me be clear. It's your body, you want them you go right ahead and be you. We'll still be friends. \n\nI just find them incredibly off putting and unattractive.\n"
},
{
"query": "Hello all! I consider myself a feminist and a MRA (ally? I don't know what you call it if your a girl who is a MRA) and I have always wondered why these two groups have such distaste for each other. If you do dislike feminism, please explain why.\nAre you a MRA? If so, do you dislike feminism?",
"chosen": "Not an MRA but I do agree with several of their points, the issues I have with feminism aren't with the egalitarian principles but with the cultish culture that it has developed.\n\nSeveral aspects as seen as beyond questioning (patriarchy, that women are always the oppressed class, etc.) and to even question these tenets is considered an act of misogyny in the eyes of the collectives.\n\nI also dislike it's expansionary and colonial behaviour, feminist groups attempt to take control of other non gender issues and then reframe them from a feminist perspective while I fell that it is gender issues that should be taken and reframed from a egalitarian/humanist perspective.\n\nTL;DR: Feminist groups were a useful but imperfect tool in dealing with a social issue but are sorely outdated and need to concede all ground to more soundly developed egalitarian groups.\n",
"rejected": "MRAs and 3rd wave feminists are two sides of the same coin, in my opinion.\n\nBoth have some valid arguments, but the ones that speak the loudest are radical, and very whiny.\n"
},
{
"query": "I had two and another half of a chipotle burrito to see if i could do it. I did it but felt like crud for like two days. I would not recommend.\nMen: Whats the most you have eaten in one sitting, what did you eat, and how did you feel afterwards?",
"chosen": "I ate 77 wings at an all you can eat night at a local restaurant. I went with some football teammates. What started out as a regular bash night turned into an impromptu offense vs defense competition. We called it a draw at 77. He went outside and threw up. I considered myself victorious.\n",
"rejected": "Like...on an lazy boy? Or a restaurant booth?\n"
},
{
"query": "I feel like everyone in my life kind of forgets about me unless I reach out to them. If I don’t reach out to them it could be weeks, or months before i’d even hear from them. Some people I just gave up on because it is exhausting. What would you do in my position?\nHow do you deal with people not talking to you unless you contact them first?",
"chosen": "This is just part of finding your true social circle. Honestly, 3-4 good friends is all most people can realistically entertain deeply intimate relationships with, at least in my mind. I am very extroverted in person, but I couldn't keep up that with a plethora.\n",
"rejected": "I recognize that life gets more complicated as you get older. We all end up with more responsibilities and have less time for friends. It's not so much if they don't reach out to me, it's what happens when I reach out or vice versa. Do we end up talking or getting together right away? Do we say we want to make plans that never materialize? \n\nAs you get older I've made it more about the quality and depth of interactions versus the quantity and try not to keep a scorecard of who's reaching out, because I know for a fact I'm bad about it too.\n"
}
] | 9
|
{
"logprob1": -7.152557373046875e-7,
"logprob2": -6.25,
"signal": 6.249999284744263
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00014019012451171875,
"logprob2": -9.75,
"signal": 9.749859809875488
}
| 3.499861
| 3
|
10809
|
[
{
"query": "Starting second year of uni soon and I am living with 6 other girls with me being the only guy. Feeling a bit worried that I'm going to end up feeling isolated and excluded and really miss male company. Any advice?\nMen of reddit who've been the only guy in an all girls house, how did you cope?",
"chosen": "Oof. This sounds so amazing on paper but it's the complete opposite irl. Gl using your dirty af bathroom. Hope you have your shots.\n",
"rejected": "I hid my own toilet paper in my room.\n\nI used the shower and bathroom at the gym... seen way too many horror shows in the bathroom after a gal decides to have period shits.. shower for an hour then \"forget\" to flush and leave for work.\n\nLived with 3 girls in university. Never again. Horror show after horror show and then there's all the \"she said.. like he said..like she said.. like he said.. like she said.. like she said..like omg.. then she like said\"\n"
},
{
"query": "Fiancee and I got into a little conversation about our sex life and whether we do it more or less than the average couple in a year. We estimate to have had sex at least 100 times in the past year. We have been together for 11 years. We're just wondering what the average is to have something to compare to out of sheer curiosity. Any insights?\nThose in long term relationships, how often do you have sex?",
"chosen": "no idea about years but we have sex about 3 times a week due to her being in university and not having much time.\n",
"rejected": "Been with her for 13 years, married 4. I'm lucky if I get laid once every couple months. A blowjob is but a distant memory. \n\nYearly numbers.....maybe 10 times a year, but if the planets align properly throughout the year and my advances aren't shot down.\n\n😕\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm turning 19 and have been doing this since I was a kid. My fingers look terrible.\nMen who had a nail-biting habit, how did you overcome it?",
"chosen": "One day I got fed up with it and just decided to stop.\n\nTook three weeks before it became natural not to bite them and I had to put quite a bit of effort into forcing myself not to, to be always vigilant, but was worth it.\n\nNow I have the opposite problem, sometimes I have my nails grow so much my female friends comment on it!\n\nBefore that I tried to stop for years. I tried everything and nothing worked because I never put real effort into it. I expected some miracle way to make myself stop, but there's no other way than to make the decision and stick with it despite all temptations.\n",
"rejected": "I was eating ice cream and chipped a tooth. Once i realized how it happened the fear has kept me from doing it ever since.\n"
},
{
"query": "you know how girls care a lot about a guy they like to be treating their friends well and getting along well with their girlfriends, and they get excited when their friends tell them they like the guy.\n\ndo guys care about this? if a girl you like gets along with your buddies and they like the girl, is this necessarily a plus for you? Do you care about the opinions that your friends have about the girl?\nguys do you value when a girl gets along with your buddies?",
"chosen": "Well of course. I'd have a very hard time being with someone that couldn't stand being around my friends and vice-versa.\n",
"rejected": "No! I hate it when they get along, because then I have to worry about her sleeping with them.\n\n/s\n"
},
{
"query": "It's a whole different world. I have been out of the dating game for a long time, the bar scene is not really me so I decided to join online dating. I have been on for a week and have zero clue on what I am doing.\n\nI have surprisingly had three women ask to go meet up, I have only asked one and I don't think she is ready.\n\nI am taking my damn sweet time, but the only females that want to go out are honestly not my body type. They are *cute* and all and maybe I am being a bit shallow - but being a 130 pound dude, I am just not attracted to the larger ladies. Am I wrong to be a little picky? I am here to meet someone to get romantic with, not to meet nice friends...\nMen who have tried online dating...",
"chosen": "I met my girlfriend on OKCupid. We've been dating for a little under two years now. What I liked about online dating is that it allowed me to be as picky as I wanted.\n",
"rejected": "I actually set up an okcupid account a few days ago. I sent out about 15 messages, got two responses, they didn't go anywhere; it's been uneventful. \n\nYes, I sent the messages to attractive girls, but I'm a pretty attractive dude. I'm 6'4\" ~210lbs. muscular, and decent enough looking. I've gone on dates with girls both more and less attractive than the girls I messaged, yet it's not gone anywhere. I think it's a mixture of 1) not having any real decent pictures of me (I've been steadily loosing weight and getting more muscular over a few years), and partially because they can simply go find some more attractive guy with the click of a mouse. Kind of frustrating, but not the end of the world. Guess I'll just go back to trying to get numbers at bars.\n\nI'm going to leave my profile up for a few more days and see if I get any more responses, but I'll probably end up deleting the thing by the end of the week.\n"
},
{
"query": "No judgement here. I'm just curious how well sex ed and/or life has taught men from different walks of life about this aspect of female biology.\nWithout Wiki'ing it, what do the men of reddit know/think is true about the menstrual cycle?",
"chosen": "Follice stimulating hormone (which I believe is secreted by the pituitary gland) causes the maturation of an egg as well as causing the ovaries to start secreting Oestrogen. The release of Oestrogen causes FSH production to halt, whilst increasing the production of Lutenising Hormone (Also in the pituitary gland). Lutenising Hormone causes the mature egg to be released from the follicle, leaving behind a remnant, which develops into the yellow body, which begins to secrete Progesterone. Progesterone is responsible for maintaing the lining of the uterine wall, whilst reducing the production of LH and FSH. If the egg isn't fertilised then the yellow body eventually decays and Progesterone production ceases. Causing the uterine wall to break down, resulting in a period. \n\nI wasn't taught this in any kind of lesson, just natural curiosity on my part (which may result in some bits being wrong).\n",
"rejected": "I don't really know that much. I know it is the body letting eggs go and something about linings. I'm pretty happy to stay ignorant on this subject until maybe I have a daughter. I just know that when I have a gf, I usually install an app so that I know when to be careful. Also, my last gf was fine with me mentioning that she was being so emotional, but I think that is fairly rare.\n"
},
{
"query": "Mine isn’t that hard to explain. We all know those bouncers in nightclubs you see in cartoons or comedies or whatever. You know, big, burly, broad-shouldered black guy that looks *mean*. Then they speak and for whatever reason their voice sounds like a dogs squeaky toy and are sometimes stupidly soft spoken, and happens to be a an emotional hugger with a heart of gold? or something along those lines... \n\nYeah, I’m afraid to say I embody exactly this and my voice never caught the drift that I went through puberty. Definitely a hugger not a fighter. My application to be the baddest guy to step onto the football field was apparently rejected and here I am, a big ass guy who likes cats, writing music, hates violence and prefers to talk it out instead of fighting (black Buddha as a friend once told me in high school) . Gotta say though, I’m fine with this.\nDo you happen to fulfill a stereotype or trope in anyway? If you do, what is it?",
"chosen": "The girl everybody underestimates because she likes pink and wearing skirts and heels on a daily basis. Ugh.\n",
"rejected": "I wear a lot of plaide shirts, like indie music, play piano/guitar/uke, like hanging out in cafes, do not drink alcohol/do drugs and wear beanies/hats.\n\nHelp! Am I turning Hipster?\n"
},
{
"query": "What are some of your biggest sexual fantasies? Do all guys have the \"dirty school girl\" fantasy? Or the girl on girl?\nGuys what are some of your biggest fantasies?",
"chosen": "Carefully hidden public stuff- to do things in plain sight and not be noticed.\n\nSadly this is something my SO is totally not OK with.\n",
"rejected": "Never working in a cubicle again... ever.\n\nAnd then going on a series of adventure like Indiana Jones or if we can swing the space travel by then, Han Solo.\n\nI also always wanted to be a bounty hunter or contract killer for the mob. That would be sweet.\n\nBut mostly never working in a cubicle.\n"
},
{
"query": "Just curious because my boyfriend is rather keen to get it on and, I (female, by the way), have a rather low libido. I usually give in once or twice a week but he seems to want to have sex every day.\nHow often do you want/have sex and how old are you?",
"chosen": "19, single, virgin.\n\nI WANT to have sex every day - but not in a \"God I just want to get my rocks off right now\" way (well, that happens but) in a \"I want to have someone who likes me enough to let me inside them\" sort of quasi-emotional way. I want a monogamous partner who is crazy about me and wants to jump my bones all day.\n\nIn the meantime, I can satisfy my own sex drive.\n",
"rejected": "32 year old male. Good health, good diet, I regularly hike 8 to 15 miles a weekend or cycle 3 to 4 times that if I'm not hiking. \n\nI have an extremely low, virtually nonexistent sex drive. I'll have an actual desire to have sex maybe once or twice a year. I have not had sex in maybe 10 or 11 years. My life is happy and I'm very content.\n"
},
{
"query": "When i was growing up, I was told to have a firm handshake. I really tried, But it seemed like older men knew this also, and they would squeeze my hand in a way where i had no chance to get a proper grip. After years of limp wristed handshakes, I decided \"From this point on, Ima really get in there and get that first squeeze in and not allow them to incapacitate my hand\"\n\nSo, Nowadays when im going in for a handshake, i make sure to make the first squeeze, So my handshake wont be ruined.\n\nAny stories you guys would like to share?\nTell me about your handshake experiences.",
"chosen": "I was at a concert once and this guy was hitting on my girlfriend pretty aggressively while I was at the bar. I'm not a confrontational guy at all so when I got our drinks I handed hers to her and then introduced myself to the guy, looked him in the eye, and gave him a really firm handshake. He got the idea, and I got one of the very few badass moments in my life.\n",
"rejected": "Who even thinks about this stuff?! It's just a fucking handshake, I do it and 5 seconds later it's forgotten about.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm about to start a graduate job soon and it will be a considerable jump in pay compared to what I am used to... It's making me nervous about if I am really worth the salary. Is there anyone out there who feels they get paid more than they should? And to graduates, do you think most people could do your job? Thanks\nHow much do you earn and do you think you deserve that amount?",
"chosen": "I make 50k a year and my company covers all my living expenses. 99.9% of the world wouldn't do what I do though so I feel I deserve it\n",
"rejected": "I make 40,000 USD before tax. Take home about 27,000 USD.\n\nI am a frontline response Constable in New Zealand.\n\nI should earn far more. Like.... Double.\n"
},
{
"query": "A little background:\n\nMy Girlfriend is out of town, and my buddy offered to go with me. It is a work party at a fancy restaurant, banquet style, probably 8 to a table. No dancing required. Would it look weird to show up with another guy, as a guy myself, or would it be better to go solo?\nWhat are your thoughts of bringing a male friend to a work Christmas Party?",
"chosen": "the +1 is for dates. most would find it odd to bring a friend, some might find it an abuse of the invitation.\n",
"rejected": "I never bring friends/SO to work parties. They don't know anyone there and they are usually bored/uncomfortable.\n"
},
{
"query": "I own a VERY small fitness apparel company that is moderately successful (in the fact that we are self-sustaining and don't need to keep dumping money in).\n\nWomen make up about 99% of our customer base -- our shirts are fitness-themed, and they are VERY high quality at $20 (which compared to our competitors, is a lower price point).\n\nMy problem (and question) is that men don't buy sh*t, and I can't figure out why. They are good shirts, at a good price -- yet sales are almost null in that department.\n\nSo, men, why is this?\n\n\n**After almost 100 comments, I want to say THANK YOU! And I also want to throw in the loop...hats. Do you wear one? Would you buy one? Etc.**\nTried to post this in r/fitness and was told to post here -- What will make you buy ~$20 fitness shirts?",
"chosen": "That doesn't seem unreasonable, if you are providing dri-fit etc. For gym though, I'll wear any t-shirt really, it's in the AC. It's only when I play sports outside that I need to be able to effectively control body temp, how much I sweat etc.\n",
"rejected": "I do like wearing fitness shirts because I like the way performance fabric reacts to getting sweaty better, and I like sleeveless shirts for exercise. However, my collection of them is pretty much from stumbling across them at target on sale or clearance. I really don't care what they look like, as long as they don't look dumb or have a big logo on them (I hate paying to advertise for people), but aside from that, it's just functional for me.\n"
}
] | 7
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000009059906005859375,
"logprob2": -9.25,
"signal": 9.249990940093994
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000335693359375,
"logprob2": -4.25,
"signal": 4.249664306640625
}
| -5.000327
| 5
|
126847
|
[
{
"query": "Is there a specific item you're looking for and can't find? Want to help fellow FFAers in their search for x? This is the thread to do it in!\n\nIf you're asking for help, please also try and answer others' requests! This only works if we all help out.\nFind Fashion Friday - November 04, 2016",
"chosen": "Lord, all I want for Christmas this year is a pair of high waisted VELVET trousers in my size (UK16) that won´t look like something my mother worn in mid 80s. Help???\n",
"rejected": "Headed to Paris for Christmas and would like to get a warm, classic coat in a neutral color for the trip. Does anyone have recommendations < $150?\n"
},
{
"query": "Just a thought I had while I was reading a post today about some offline sexist encounter: do other Asian girl gamers experience much sexism while gaming or in game stores? Reason I bring this up is 'cause I haven't (minus some eye-rolling but infrequent and harmless flirting in old Guild Wars). I always figured I was on the lucky end of encounters and felt bad for other chicas who weren't, but now I'm wondering if it may be because I got some other stereotype slapped on me (\"Oh, she's Asian? Well yeah she can totally play video games\"), though one I'm not sure is even popular or ever relevant to be honest.\nQuestion to other Asian girl gamers",
"chosen": "I'm half japanese so usually people just come up to me and say \"what are you?\" and then I tell i'm I'm happa. I live in the mid west so they don't understand this shit. \n\nThey ask me about japanese culture and I'm like \"I don't fucking speak japanese and I've only been there 3 times\". They then try to say anime phrases to me after I say I don't speak japanese. I then respond by asking if they want to ask me if I speak celtic too because I'm half scottish. And it's always guys. Women never do this. And asian women just are like \"oh she's happa\" and move on.\n\nThe only people who are condescending about my lack of trivial knowledge in japanese culture are non asian men. I've even been told to \"stop calling yourself japanese\" and this just pisses me off. \n\nI have a\"double eyes\" which is actually a common trait for Japanese women. I have the exact same facial features as my mother, I just avoid getting tan because of skin cancer worries so my skin is very light. But because a bunch of anime watching assholes have an idea in their head that all asian women have a certain type of eyes, I don't look asian at all. But when other asian people see me, they always can tell that I'm happa. \n\nThe whole thing just gives me an identity crisis every fucking time because a bunch of non asian assholes try to tell me they know more about japanese culture than me. Congratulations you watch too much anime and have no appreciation for your own heritage, so you steal mine. \n\nI came out of a japanese vagina, there is no plane of existence where knowing a lot about japan will make a non japanese person more japanese than me. My family didn't get stuck in camps and have their only relatives in japan die in Hiroshima so a few generations later a bunch of non japanese people could steal the heritage that they were afraid to embrace. \n\n\n\n**Sorry for the rant. I just hate anime bros.**\n",
"rejected": "My best friend is Korean and even though she likes Starcraft, she gets a bit self-conscious about her skills because people seem to assume that all Koreans are born with a high APM. :\\\n\nShe already encounters a lot of people commenting that her English is good (yeah, maybe because she grew up in Oregon?). But then we started going to cons and suddenly she had to deal with strangers calling her \"kawaii\" as well. The things people are willing to say to complete strangers, geez... *shakes head*\n"
},
{
"query": "I’m a guy and I’ve been seeing this Transguy for about a month now and he’s been getting more and more sexually aggressive towards me because I don’t want to have any sex until I get to know someone a lot better, my days of cruising and Grindr hookups are long past and left me not wanting sex. \n\nBut he’s been agitating more and more to have sex and has started forcibly kissing me and grabbing my crotch, I tell him no and he stops so he hasn’t done anything rapey. But it just keeps escalating and I don’t know how to tell him I just don’t want to have sex with him, not because he’s trans but just because I don’t want to with anyone right now. How do I tell him?\n\nTL;DR My FTM bf really wants sex but I don’t\n(Throwaway Account) An FTM guy I’ve been seeing has started to get really sexually aggressive and I don’t know how to tell him no.",
"chosen": "\"Hey! It seems like we both have different kind of views on this relationship, but no is no. This isn't going to work out if you wont care about my boundaries.\"\n\nRe; basically you would treat him as any other person who would attack your boundaries.\n",
"rejected": "Sorry if this seems like an obvious question, but does he know any of this? Like have you guys talked about how you feel about sex, or that you're wanting to wait? Because if not, it's probably worth sitting down to talk and telling him. Otherwise he may not know (not that it's ok to push anyway, but).\n"
},
{
"query": "Anyone else having this problem? Doing my best not to panic. I'm not having much luck finding info online.\nMy pharmacist just told me that my injectable Estradiol valerate has been discontinued by the manufacturer",
"chosen": "try switching to a different concentration. I've had no problem getting the perrigo 40mg/ml generic.\n",
"rejected": "I've been reading about shortages of injectable estradiol valerate for a couple of years now. One thing said to ask about switching to estradiol cypionate, as it does the same thing (dosage may be a bit different tho) and is more readily available.\n"
},
{
"query": "This thread is for simple style questions that you may have, especially those that don't warrant their own thread. We all want a diversified opinion, so feel free to answer any questions (of which you know the answer).\n\nExample questions: What are your favorite black boots <$250? What should I wear on a date? Are there any good white t-shirts?\nSimple Questions - May 18, 2017",
"chosen": "Has anyone purchased Outdoor Voices leggings? What do you think about the fit and length? Are they very true to their measurement sizes? Comfortable?\n",
"rejected": "I'm going to a wedding in Texas in mid-June and am a bit confused by the dress code and invite. The wedding is at 3pm in a Catholic church, but the reception isn't until 7pm and the dress code is formal. Would it be appropriate to wear 2 different dresses then? Formal to a church seems...odd.\n\nAlso, the bride is of Mexican descent and I'm not sure how that may/may not affect the ceremony. I'm used to Irish Catholic or nondenominational weddings.\n"
},
{
"query": "I think that we'll hold them twice a month for now. If there's a lot of participation, we'll increase them to once a week. \n\nThe old rules still apply:\n\n\nRules\n---\n\nThe “winner” will be selected by committee based on the following criteria:\n\n1. How closely it caters to our personal interests. Anything J. Crew will, of course, instantly capture the password/faux vote.\n1. Inventiveness\n1. Something else totally subjective\n1. A random die roll\n1. Phase of moon\n\nThose 5 will be combined into a composite score and then thrown away. As with “Whose Line Is it Anyway?” the rules are made up and the points don’t matter. Go out and have fun!\n\nIf you have a theme you'd like to see featured in a contest, feel free to post them below!\nTheme contests are back!",
"chosen": "I think it would be fun to do challenges based on common questions we get here (like the wedding challenge last time?). We could do a meet the boyfriend/girlfriend/SO's parent's for dinner, New Year's Party Outfit (I know I won't be going out..but it'd be fun to pretend!), Christmas present opening outfit, outfits that would be related to a specific profession (like working in a lab, working at a daycare, working as a CEO, working at a fashion magazine...). I'm really excited for these to come back! I hope I can participate this time!\n",
"rejected": "Ooh also- is the voting committee mods or just whoever's on IRC at the time? Or... can I apply :D\n"
},
{
"query": "Guys, it’s so fun. I’m a giant ball of clinical anxiety and even I enjoyed it. I only ever had 1 view at a time but dude, I’m so happy and proud of myself. 😭\nI just streamed for the first time!",
"chosen": "Awesome! I’m so happy for you. I want to stream also but I’m a bad gamer. I don’t think people want to watch me die all the time lol\n",
"rejected": "I started streaming a few nights a week a couple months ago and so far, it's been ok. I've gotten a couple of comments that I felt went too far, but otherwise no issues. It honestly is so much easier to interact with people in chat than to just fill any silence with talking. I do a gaming channel that is 100% just for fun; my gaming skills are mediocre at best :) . Point of all this: Keep going, have fun and don't stress if you aren't the next big thing!\n"
},
{
"query": "My psych professor gave me this beautiful gem last week. \n\n\"It's not my business what you do with your personal life.\"\n\nI'm not trying to make it his personal business in asking him to respect my pronouns, what the actual fuck?\n\nAnyway, what are some of the more creative reasons that you've been given for not having your pronouns respected?\nWhat are some bullshit reasons people have given for not respecting your pronouns?",
"chosen": "Had an english professor tell me she has never once even heard of the word 'they' in modern times and that it is archaic and old-fashioned. Surprisingly she wasn't that good of a teacher, either, who woulda guessed\n",
"rejected": "On my using they/them:\n\"I speak English, not tumblrish\".\nWhat a beautiful human being that was. Luckily the threat of head office intervening on my behalf stopped that quickly.\n"
},
{
"query": "And I could CRY it's so beautiful and amazing. I've barely scratched the surface on this game and I'm obsessed. Ocarina of Time was my favorite forever, it couldn't be touched. But this... O\\_O \n\n\nI'm just shocked by the game and I can't believe I haven't played it until now. I'm playing it AS SLOWLY as possible to savor it all lol. \n\n\nAlso , this is one of my first posts, I think?? I can't remember. It's been so long since I signed up and/or looked at this thing. I hope I'm doing all this right. \n\n\nSo... HI!!!\nI finally got a Switch... AND BOTW...",
"chosen": "Literally the only reason why I want a switch. But I wanna play it so bad\n",
"rejected": "It's so good!! I have about 150 hrs in it and no where close to being finished. There is so much to explore and do! I love just running around the map and doing whatever. Enjoy!!\n"
}
] | 4
|
{
"logprob1": -8.344650268554688e-7,
"logprob2": -6,
"signal": 5.999999165534973
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.0002040863037109375,
"logprob2": -8.25,
"signal": 8.249795913696289
}
| 2.249797
| 4
|
5713
|
[
{
"query": "Do we men have any other interests? Are we good for anything else that make us \"men\"? C'mon guys.....I'm scrolling down the posts and it seems everyone here is ruled by that little guy in our pants.\nWhy are all the AskMen questions about women and sex?",
"chosen": "lol that’s funny this is the first one I’ve seen that’s referencing sex today, that said an interest in sex doesn’t make someone a man, it’s make someone human. This is just a place for people to ask men questions so if they wanna ask about sex cool if they wanna ask about something else even more cool, we can’t really tell people what they wanna talk about imo.\n",
"rejected": "Agree it seems that many of the questions are about women, dating or sex. But IMO those are topics that all men struggle with regardless of age. And the “ask women” subs seem like it’s women talking to women...guys questions are deleted by mods of not replied to. There are a lot of men trying to figure out the opposite sex, and this is an anonymous platform where they can seek advice. Again, Just my two cents.\n"
},
{
"query": "Thanks for the upvotes but it would be more awesome if you guys leave a comment. :)\nWhat sexy surprises did your significant other absolutely love? [copied from AskWomen]",
"chosen": "Touching his taint/the backside of his balls. Full body shivers, aww yiss. Surprise, motherfucker!\n",
"rejected": "Vaginal orgasms. They were apparently really really rare for her.\n"
},
{
"query": "I am 30 now and find myself thinking that there has to be more to life than this daily repetition and the societal treadmill. I feel so dang stuck.\n\nI am currently a nurse and live in an apartment in the city. 5 days a week I go to work, get a workout in at the gym afterwards, go home and eat dinner, then sit on the couch and wonder what else to do. I have a girlfriend. Hang with friends every couple weeks. Try to travel every couple months. \n\nBut yet, every day feels the same. This process of work, gym, sleep, repeat until the day I die just seems so incredibly mundane and depressing. Especially after cutting back on drinking alcohol. I’m not finding meaning in any of it. Wondering what those of you who have experienced this have done to find meaning and/or happiness? I want to be a happy and vibrant person that is happy with life, but I am struggling to get there.\nMen, what has helped you to find meaning/happiness in life?",
"chosen": "I was raised to be religious and I thought I “found God.” When I was 14, I licked pussy for the first time. I realized that god isn’t in Heaven - she’s between a lady’s thighs. I committed to kneeling to “god” ever since then. Whatever happens, pussy will always taste amazing.\n",
"rejected": "Build something. Find purpose. Create. Do more things you love\n"
},
{
"query": "These days it seems like the topic of discussing tv shows is pretty much unavoidable. I feel a bit left out when this happens in social situations, but not interested enough to be bothered with actually watching something. I usually just keep quiet when/if it comes up, and don't volunteer the information unless pressed.\nMen in your 20s, do any of you not follow a single show? How does it go for you in social settings?",
"chosen": "32, and yeah, it's a problem. I kind of fell out of the habit of watching TV when I was in college and didn't have one.\n\nI watch some sporting events and movies and Netflix, but if you ask me about the latest episode of The Big Bang Theory or Game of Thrones or Mad Men or something, I haven't seen it. And, for those shows, I haven't seen the old ones either.\n\nI'm not pretentious about it, or I try not to be. But it's hard to say \"Oh, I don't watch television\" without sounding like \"Television is for common people.\" I mean, I don't think I'm better than anyone for not playing television. I mostly play video games instead. That's hardly high brow entertainment.\n",
"rejected": "I watch a lot of TV, but don't particularly like talking about it with others (unless we're watching together, though I prefer to watch alone- when you have company there are better things to do).\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm 31F, recently ended a 2.5 year relationship. \n\nI know that if I want to do the husband and kids thing, I should probably stop messing around. But at the same time, really I just want a healthy relationship with someone I connect with to do cool things with. \n\nI've gotten some good advice from friends, but I'd love to hear what Reddit has to say about it.\nWhat can a woman in her 30s do to be marriage material?",
"chosen": "I'm sure I'll get down-voted, but here goes... Start paying more attention to the not-so-good-looking guys you see. If they're still single in their 30s, they are probably a lot more interested in a real relationship. Women are almost as bad as men at tending to judge potential dates by their looks, so good-looking men don't have to worry much about it.\n",
"rejected": "Don't have kids, weigh less than 150 pounds, and don't look borderline disfigured. That'll put you in the top 10% of 30 year old women.\n"
},
{
"query": "I mean she's never asked me that before, is this a normal thing for boyfriends to do? I'm scared.\nMy girlfriend has asked me to wax her asshole, what do I do men?",
"chosen": "How about waxing her asshole?\n",
"rejected": "If it was me, I'd book her an appointment wherever they take care of that kind of thing.. Leave that shit to the professionals, I would probably fuck it up somehow\n"
},
{
"query": "Mine: I dress casually - t-shirts and gym shorts when I'm out in public, and pajamas at home. I despise being formal and will only do so when necessary for work. Idgaf if that makes me less datable, it's important for me to be comfortable with what I wear.\nWhat's an unattractive personality trait you have that you refuse to change to become more dateable?",
"chosen": "I have a dry sense of humor that few can really get on board with without knowing me for a bit, and women seem to have a particularly hard time with this. It confuses a lot of people and can sometimes make me seem like an idiot or an asshole, but I think it is a big part of who I am and don't want to change it.\n",
"rejected": "Generally I don't leave my house unless its to go to school or the gym.\n\nIts not really that I don't want to change it, its more that I don't know how to change it.\n"
},
{
"query": "Like in your eyes she's the most beautiful thing in the world, and other guys are just like \"meh\"\nYou ever been super attracted to a girl that , not that many other guys also found attractive?",
"chosen": "I often find myself attracted to girls that are a bit quirky in appearance, I suppose I like 'cute' girls more than what's popular. I like girls with a 'look' as it were. For instance, I don't think Megan Fox is hot. I mean she is, technically, but I can't picture her in my head. I just see an average Maxim Magazine girl, they're interchangeable. Another example, I liked the mechanic girl from Firefly way more than the companion/escort girl who was \"supposed\" to be hot. Also really attracted to Amy Poehler. I don't have a type per se, but a lot of times a friend will see a girl and be all \"she's so hot\", and I'm thinking she looks like a bitch face stripper.\n",
"rejected": "There's a girl at my gym who can really pump iron. She's in what looks like her late twenties, but looks like she has been bodybuilding her whole life. She's always there everyday, lifting and getting bigger and bigger, and she's always wearing tight shorts and a sports bra that looks like it can tear off her massive chest at any moment. I think she's so beautiful and her incredible strength and muscles drive me crazy. And when she flexes in the mirror! Oh LAWD! But my friends think she is very intimidating and scary.\n"
},
{
"query": "I have a friend who cries from just about any disney movie. Yes he's a guy. Clearly he cries more than the norm.\n\nBut how many times have you guys cried from watching a movie?\nI know there have been a lot of \"how often do you cry?\" questions. But what about from movies?",
"chosen": "Pretty often. Never outright sobbing but tears and being choked up. \n\nLast night I was watching a movie where the protagonist dies from a drug overdose, his friend finds him on the ground and he chokes up, he says \"only posers die, you're not a poser\". \n\nCouldn't stop how I felt, didn't try to.\n",
"rejected": "I cried at the end of Futurama's Jurassic Bark episode, and I won't ever try to deny it.\nThe last movie that did it was Bicentennial man. Something about the existentialism and finding your place in life was just right.\n"
},
{
"query": "So we're watching Californication last night, and Charlie Runkle at some point says he's getting a \"shame boner\", and my wife asks me if that's really a thing. So I say yeah, guys can get boners for all sorts of reasons. Then this morning over on r/sex there's a thread about a guy who gets \"love boners\".\n\nSo it's got me thinking, what are the various kinds of boners that guys experience?\nMen, let's talk about varieties of boners",
"chosen": "\"I just had sex\" boner: You've already splooged and he's like \"Go again?\" and you're like \"Fuck you, boner. You're going to slip away just as I get inside her. Stop trying to trick me.\"\n\nConsoling Boner: Gf's sobbing uncontrollably, maybe she wants to fuck...\n",
"rejected": "Fear boner!!!!!\n"
},
{
"query": "I was scrolling down one question about peeing when someone said \\`\\`there is a point between your balls and your anus where, if you press it, you will empty your bladder (because you always have a little amount of pee there after peeing)\n\nThat dude saved my life, hands down, my underwear smells quite better rn\nWhat is something r/askmen taught you are grateful for?",
"chosen": "you can make an erection go away by flexing every muscle for 30 seconds. first thing I do every day before I pee.\n",
"rejected": "it taught me to be grateful that my friends are mature, reasonable people, because there are a lot of men who aren't.\n"
},
{
"query": "I've been researching purchasing a car within the next year. I have no debts, still live at home, and have a job that pays above 60k. I'm still living at home to jump start my retirement savings and to build a large cash balance for a house down payment in the next 4-5 years. \n\nI've been shopping vehicles in the 25-30k range. My gf always seems to have a passive aggressive attitude towards me financing this amount for a vehicle. Meanwhile, she talks about engagement rings in the 10k range, which I think is ridiculous. \n\nWe've been together for a couple years, but we don't have any plans for marriage any time soon. She is planning to travel for work for a years time, so I feel there is no rush to wed. \n\nIs this a relationship/communication issue, or am I not seeing things correctly here?\nHow critical are you of your SO's spending?",
"chosen": "Unfortunately I can be pretty critical of her spending. But we are pretty early on, do not live together, do not share finances.\n\nWhat kind of car does she think you should buy? Why? Why are you looking in the 25-30k range? I make a bit less than you and got a great car for ~18k.\n\nYes, 10k for a ring seems a bit crazy but if your car is approaching luxury, then it seems you have some compromising to do.\n",
"rejected": "Not at all. My wife is the banker. I haven't paid a bill in almost a decade - she budgets and plans our spending (mostly of bills, but yeah) and takes care of most of that. She is unfailingly conservative. I had to go out and buy one of those pregnancy body pillows behind her back because she thought it was too expensive. It was like $60. \n\nShe has called me before to ask if it was okay if she spend as little has $20-$30. My answer 100% of the time is \"it's your money too hunny.\" We have a joint account and she makes good money. No idea. \n\nOnly downside is I am occasionally eye rolled for getting coffees a few times a week. Not about the cost really, but because she finds it annoying to put a couple bucks on her spreadsheet over and over.\n"
},
{
"query": "I've noticed that when it comes to dating and getting around, opposites seem to attract. My latino friends tend to do better with white women than with the typical latina while my white friends tend to have it much easier with latin women than white women. \n\nI even see it among whites for example, Mediterranean/swarthy women prefer blonde and lighter featured men (they go crazy for blue eyes) while blondes love a John Stamos lookalike or a darker featured white male like Jon Hamm. \n\nWhat has your experience been?\nMen who have dated or been around a bit, how do the types of girls that generally take a lot of interest in you look like compared to how you look like?",
"chosen": "I'm Arab and I tend to attract Russian, Serbian, Polish and Ukrainian women for some reason, also I'm white and don't look Arab at all, but they seem to like the fact that I'm Arab for some reason. Do I care? Nope.\n",
"rejected": "Who do I attract? No one especially, unless I really am missing all the signs.\n"
},
{
"query": "For me it's Nobuo Uematsu, without a doubt. Playing many of the video games he composed the music for as a kid (and even still now) so many of his pieces really evoke some strong nostalgic feelings from me, and his music is so beautifully composed and spectacular in general.\n\nAlso - there are so many! Hundreds! I don't think I'd ever get bored.\nYou can only listen to one band/artist/composer's music for the rest of your life. Who do you choose?",
"chosen": "Probably slipknot. They have a lot of songs I can relate to. If I want a softer song, I can just listen to to snuff or vermilion pt. 2. Then the rest is just to get me pumped.\n",
"rejected": "Miles Davis was had such a diverse career, I can't see why not to put him.\n"
}
] | 9
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000025153160095214844,
"logprob2": -8.75,
"signal": 8.749974846839905
}
|
{
"logprob1": -8.344650268554688e-7,
"logprob2": -5.875,
"signal": 5.874999165534973
}
| -2.874976
| 4
|
4229
|
[
{
"query": "Some background on me:\n\n I am 21 years old, going into my 7th semester of college, where I have not done that well in the past (1/2 the way done so far). I am going part time to school now and taking up a part time job because of this, but I have my tuition subsidized by my parents and some loans. I have received counseling on anxiety and executive functioning, but to no real avail.\n\nDespite this, I have had women in my life who were, somehow, attracted to me (I'm not awful looking and people enjoy my company enough). I always end up kind of just leaving it be because I don't feel like I am accomplished enough to date someone.\n\nShould I try to get over these feelings or am I being too harsh on myself?\nShould I not date until I have my shit together?",
"chosen": "Ok, bear in mind I'm speaking from the perspective of a 45 year-old, so this might not necessarily apply.\n\nSeems to me that everyone deserves love and/or companionship just because they are human. You don't have to be perfectly settled with all your life's complexity completely resolved in order to have a healthy relationship or to just casually date, for that matter.\n\nJust be honest with yourself about what you want and need and communicate that to whomever you choose to turn your attentions (if you opt to date at all).\n\nIf you have limited time because you need to study, let them know up front. They may have limited time as well, or perhaps be ok with only seeing you a couple of times a week. Just be honest and communicate openly.\n\nTL;DR - figure out what you want and need and communicate that honestly and openly if you choose to date.\n",
"rejected": "There was a thread a few weeks ago on who knows which sub where someone asked a similar question. Should you wait until your done with college, have a good stable job, are moved out, etcetera, to start dating?\n\nMotherfucker no. Dating is sort of a skill. Not in the way a PUA sees it, but it requires practice. At least I'd like to think so. If you wait too long you might have trouble putting yourself out there. It's just my opinion but I wouldn't do it.\n"
},
{
"query": "I've been seeing this guy for about ten months. It fizzled out because for me, it wasn't any fun - no common interests whatsoever. So I said \"I don't think we should see each other anymore.\" At first he said \"Okay.\" I thought it was done. Then he called and I didn't answer. He called several times and left messages. I finally answered and he started talking as if I never broke up with him. He started with \"I miss talking to you\" and then started chatting as if everything was the same as before. I felt annoyed and told him I don't think it's a good idea to continue spending time on the phone together. He asked me if I'd agree to see him if he wanted to give me a hundred dollars. I asked him if he was soliciting prostitution, and he said \"No.\" As a friend knowing that I'm having a little financial trouble, he just wanted to help out. I told him I didn't think it was fair to him. I appreciate the kindness, but I cannot accept his offer.\n\nSo, men ... got any ideas about this? I know it's all just supposition because nobody is in another person's head, but I'm wondering if you men can tell me what you think he was thinking? I felt kind of sorry for him, and realized that I can't continue spending time on the phone & in person out of pity. I think a clean break is the best scenario, considering that I've determined we have absolutely nothing in common. I ultimately felt like he was pestering me and I needed to shoo him away ... like an annoying fly. That's when I broke it off.\nWhen I said \"I don't think we should see each other anymore,\" he asked me if $100 would entice me to seeing him. WTF?!",
"chosen": "Possibility one is he's a creeper, possibility two is he's hoping that spending more time with him will change your mind and is just doing anything he can think of to make that happen. possibility three is that he's super awkward and doesn't really understand social interactions between people.\n",
"rejected": "I'm knid of hoping a post shows up in /r/askwomen from a guy asking how much money it would take to get them back together with an ex\n"
},
{
"query": "Assume you met through online dating and this is your first time meeting in person.\n\nI run into a lot of problems with awkwardness when dating, both on my side and on men's. I read that giving the guy a platonic hug at the start of the date can help reduce awkwardness by establishing (at least on my side) that touch and closeness are okay. My first thought after reading that was \"That makes a lot of sense, but it sure sounds creepy.\" Right now my thinking is that if it was the guy who asked for the date, I can feel safe assuming he likes me enough that he'd be happy if I hugged him, but I wouldn't feel safe assuming that if I was the one who initiated the date.\n\nSo, guys of /r/AskMen, what would you think of a girl who hugged you to introduce herself at the start of a first date? Would she seem creepy or desperate? Or might it make you think she was \"easy\" (please be honest on this one.)\n\nAlso, if you're from Toronto, could you please say so in your answer? I live in Toronto, and I've been told the dating culture here is unusually cold, so I'm especially interested in the opinions of guys from here. But definitely still interested in the opinions of guys from anywhere.\nHow would you feel if a girl opened a first date with a hug?",
"chosen": "I am not a huggy type person and would not initiate one but i wouldn't have an issue of a woman i just met did\n\nsome people just really like to hug and it never really bothered me\n",
"rejected": "I'd hug her back so I can feel her boobs against me.\n"
},
{
"query": "I've always wondered what the average is with most guys. I definitely know that I am in the extreme minority, as I'm 23 and I've only been with one women (my soon to be wife). So how many people have you been with?\nMen of Reddit, how many sexual partners have you had?",
"chosen": "0 so far and I'm 24.\n",
"rejected": "One. My wife. Zero regrets.\n"
},
{
"query": "Some people have really strange ideas about what is important when choosing a bf/gf.\n\nSeveral women I was on a date with were surprised I didn't care what kind of beer they drank or if they drank at all. How is this in any way important? Could these other guys only afford one case of beer at home and had to make sure a potential mate would drink the same stuff they liked?\n\nAnother guy said he stopped talking to a someone because she had never heard of a certain musician.\n\nWhat is the most trivial thing you have heard of for not wanting to date someone?\nWhat is the silliest reason you have heard for not dating someone?",
"chosen": "Women refusing to date men under 6'0. It's not a \"height preference\", it's shallow. It's also hypocritical since women shame men for being shallow about height\n",
"rejected": "I won't date any woman who gets seasick.\n"
},
{
"query": "I accidentally spilt some hot tea on a friend once. It was horrible, and he jumped up immediately, and rushed to get cold water. I felt really bad and apologized. :/ What about you?\nWhat is the worst thing you have done to another person?",
"chosen": "I broke my brother's arm and a leg. Two separate incidents.\n\nThe first time we were bouncing on a trampoline and he thought it would be a fun game to get underneath, push up with his feet on the bottom of the trampoline popping up in different places (who could see this going wrong?!?).\n\nAnyway after a while of my sister and I bouncing and trying to land on the humps, I finally managed to jump on a hump with all my weight. Sure enough my brother's leg snapped and he got carted off to a hospital.\n\nSecond time was when we were much order and were wrestling in our parent's bedroom. I pushed him and he landed on the bed and broke his wrist.\n\nI am a bad older brother :/\n",
"rejected": "Attempted murder. Luckily I failed, and he was pretty forgiving.\n"
},
{
"query": "Right now my wife is my dependent, and our relationship is amazing. I truly feel like I have a purpose and I love taking care of my wife. Not only do I take care of her, but she also takes care of me in other ways. I’m so happy I could die right now (not that I want to). \n\nI’ve wanted a wife since I was 18. I am now 27. It has been my dream to support my family with the fruits of my labor and to be the sole provider. I honestly thought it would never happen until I met my now wife.\n\nI figured that a woman would never agree to be a housewife nowadays, but I got lucky and found a gem. \n\nDo you think that this lifestyle is ideal for you and how so?\nHow do you guys feel about being the sole provider for your household?",
"chosen": "I’ve been the sole provider for my family for 25 years. It works wonderfully for us.\n\nMy wife is the engine for our life. I provide the fuel.\n",
"rejected": "If you don’t have kids she isn’t a gem, she’s a leech. Stay at home mom is a thing. Stay at home wife or girlfriend is just a piss take. And she’s probably fucking someone else while you’re at work.\n"
},
{
"query": "If you believe this saying, how do you visualize this working? Inquiring minds want to know!\nThere's the common idea that women can get laid whenever they want. Um, how? No really... how?",
"chosen": "I think it's better stated in a relative way than as an absolute: a woman at a certain level of attractiveness will almost always have an easier time finding casual sex than a man at a similar level of attractiveness. This means comparing an average man with an average woman, a below average woman with a below average man, or an above average man with an above average woman.\n\nAs for how you physically do it? Dating websites, bars/pubs/clubs, hookup apps like Tinder. In all of these places, women are more likely to be offered casual sex, and if they approach strangers for casual sex, they're more likely to succeed.\n\nWomen can make points about how their ability to find casual sex doesn't mean much if what they really want is a relationship, and that's very true. If you don't want causal sex for that (or another) reason then that's entirely fair. But I don't think that anyone can reasonably deny that women have an easier time finding sex.\n",
"rejected": "Shy awkward single women have mediocre options.\n\nShy awkward single men have no options.\n\nYou can't find someone you like for casual sex? I can't even find someone I don't like for casual sex!\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm 22 years old(m) and I'm wondering what should I try to focus on at this age? I'm working right now but I feel like I should be doing more\nWhat should I be focusing on my life at the age of 22?",
"chosen": "One idea — saving money. Like, save until it hurts and open an IRA or some other retirement plan.\n",
"rejected": "dancing, cocaine and hang gliding.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm curious and wanted to do a poll.... Why do you like to ejaculate on a woman? \nWhat do you get from it? \nWhat's your favourite body part to do it on?\nDo you like ejaculating on a woman?",
"chosen": "I much prefer to finish inside them, the level of intimacy is much higher.\n",
"rejected": "The last time I shot on a girl's face my ex looked like she had been beaten. Her eye was all blood shot and she could barely open it. I must have some salty-ass jizz.\n"
},
{
"query": "Currently I use Adidas Moves but i am looking to switch to something different, any suggestions?\nWhat does everyone use for cologne?",
"chosen": "Soap and unscented deodorant. Sharing this because it is a \"scent choice\" and not STFU to cologne wearers. \n\nI've had constant positive feedback from several women who got close enough to tell me how much they liked my \"clean\" smell. My partner will get close daily just to smell me. It makes her very happy.\n\nWhy this helps you OP: If you make sure you smell like clean OP after a shower you can then shop for many colognes and get great effect out of applying a tiny bit.\n\nCologne isn't mandatory but if you start with a clean base you can use it to add a flourish and reward for anyone you let close. Don't broadcast at a great range, reward those who are drawn in. \n\n...and you can have more than one to use sparingly for events as whim decides.\n",
"rejected": "Prada - Luna Rossa Sport\n\nAventus - Creed\n\nBleu De Chanel\n"
},
{
"query": "I had my last relationship 6 years back and have only been on one date since. I find it hard to believe that a man would want me (gay guy here). And I had a late start with sex too. It's all unfortunate. Hit me up with what y'all have gone through.\nMen who got a late start dating, how's that going for you?",
"chosen": "Not sure what you call a late start or not. I had my first kiss at 17. Girlfriend broke up with me at 18. Was still single and a virgin. After that I dated here and there but never got laid. Summer after freshman year of college I had a drunken one night stand with a friend and lost my virginity at 20. But then I went straight into not getting any. After that I would go out and occasionally fool around with women but they'd never want to go all the way. These were often women who were just drunk and having fun and not really interested in dating me. Which is ultimately what I wanted.\n\nDidn't have sex again for another year and a half at the age of 21. Since then I have had sex regularly. My confidence with women has improved a ton. Although having confidence around women doesn't really matter now because I am engaged.\n\nI have no idea if this is helpful. Probably not. I'm certainly not the worst case but there were certainly times where it seemed everyone else was dating/getting laid and I was certainly not. But it got better for me, and it has gotten better for others. I hope it gets better for you.\n",
"rejected": "Surprisingly well, actually. Background; fucked up childhood, emotional issues. Then therapy. Now 38 and catching up to everyone else, experience-wise.\n\nMore first dates in any month of the last year than my entire life before that point. Less second dates than I'd like but more than I'd ever hoped for before. More fooling around, too. I'd *prefer* to have dated 25 years ago instead of suffering abuse and buying the bullshit religious line my crazy parents fed me, but I am doing pretty well all things considered.\n\nAs a bonus, plenty of younger chicks still think fit older dudes are hot. So that's nice. Pretty sure that works for gay dudes too.\n"
},
{
"query": "I have (at least in my opinion) an awesome life. I am a professional skydiver (tandem instructor, video guy, teacher, etc.) and live a life according to that. I travel a lot, I have awesome friends, I see a lot of stuff that other people will never see in their whole life and alltogether it could not be more awesome. I think my life is pretty close to perfect. Except that one thing...\n\n\nI noticed that about 2 or 3 years ago (when I made some decisions that brought me where I am today) I started to attract women. Lots of them. Not that I want to complain about that, but the point is that I do not feel like they want to spent time with me for who I am but for the lifestyle I have. They want to get their part of my adventure, they want to tell their friends about the amazing stuff their \"boyfriend\" (this is normally a one sided view of the situation - I did never ever consider one of the girls I have been dating my SO) is doing and I usually start to feel like a trophy after some time which will ultimately result in me getting bored of and dumping or at least showing disinterest in them. I simply have problems with respecting somebody that does not contribute anything to a \"relationship\" except good looks and the lust for excitement.\n\n\nHas anybody ever experienced the same? Does this ever change or are you totally OK with that?\n\n\nP.S.: What \"lifestyle\" is for men, might be \"good looks\" for women... Correct me if you think I am wrong.\nDo you mind if women date you just for your lifestyle?",
"chosen": "As long as they don't mind if I bang 'em just for their body.\n",
"rejected": "I've played in bands for the past fifteen years or so. I can totally identify with what you're saying about being a \"trophy\" and kind of wanting in on your lifestyle - for me that would be turning up to gigs and being \"the singer's girlfriend\" and being able to tell other girls that. There's definitely a certain kind of girl that goes after band boys too.\n"
},
{
"query": "I know how there is a multitude of things to do to care for you face and other body parts. There are all the facial cleansers and creams, but are there stuff for penis? Does anyone buy creams for penis care? What your dick routine?\nGeneral Dick Care?",
"chosen": "Soap + Water = Clean dick.\n\nElectric razor to trim the bush.\n\nDone.\n",
"rejected": "I'm a female, but my partner applies coconut oil at least once per day, usually post shower. It helps keep things smooth and happy - he's prone to a bit of dry skin, and this has really helped. I've also noticed that jerking dry makes it worse, so if I'm giving him a hand job (and know that that's ALL we are doing), I use lotion with it. It feels nice and gives some extra moisturization.\n"
},
{
"query": "It's not too often that I dress in a certain way to impress a guy but I find it interesting and sometimes helpful to know what guys aren't into lately and why?\nWhat are some current women's styles/trends that you can't stand?",
"chosen": "Bald heads.\n\nIm just not a fan.\n",
"rejected": "Nose, cheek, eyebrow, tongue, bellybutton, nipple or clit piercings. \n\nTattoos. \n\nLet me be clear. It's your body, you want them you go right ahead and be you. We'll still be friends. \n\nI just find them incredibly off putting and unattractive.\n"
}
] | 12
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00015926361083984375,
"logprob2": -5.25,
"signal": 5.24984073638916
}
|
{
"logprob1": -8.344650268554688e-7,
"logprob2": -5,
"signal": 4.999999165534973
}
| -0.249842
| 2
|
10581
|
[
{
"query": "I need present ideas and it got me thinking?\n\nWhat is an expensive version of an everyday product that made you rethink that product?\n\n&#x200B;\n\nFor instance some guys will say that once you buy silk or expensive nice underwear they will never go back to normal cheap underwear. Any other ideas?\nWhat is an expensive version of an everyday product that made you never go back?",
"chosen": "Now that I’ve used a bidet I will always own one.\n",
"rejected": "Toilet paper.\n"
},
{
"query": "hey guys. I'm 26 and my little brother is 24. He has been dating the same girl since they were 14. This girl just went on vacation with our family in july, she lives in my parents rent house, our whole family loves her. my brothers birthday was 3 days ago and she went all out searching for gifts he would love.\n\nBrother just called me (2 am here) so upset because he found out she has been texting his best friend from high school (a guy obviously) and sending him \"seductive\" pics as he phrased it. My question is how can I help him? what does he need to hear from me right now? Brother and I have a really great relationship and obviously I love him so much and I'd do anything for him. I'm really worried because he has sort of been isolating himself the past few years and his gf is one of his only friends. How can I encourage him and be there for him right now?? We live in separate towns about 2 hours away.\napologize in advance for grammar/etc. its the middle of the night and I'm upset that I can't help.\nhow can i help my little brother",
"chosen": "thanks askmen. this is my first time posting here and you guys did not disappoint\n",
"rejected": "Get em drunk and bad mouth the broad.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm just wondering if it's an aim thing or something. Seems like if men could pee with the seat down it would save either of us from having to touch the seat to either lift it or put it down.\nWhy can't men pee with the seat down?",
"chosen": "Take a garden hose turn it on full blast and then slowly shut off the water. Same general idea. I suppose we could sit down to pee but there's some stigma attached to that and frankly it's easier not to.\n",
"rejected": "The stream is not always reliable. We can make adjustments, but that first shot out of the gate is a bit unpredictable. Plus, we've got the shake at the end, and that just tends to send piss all over the place.\n"
},
{
"query": "Ok, I'm an Asian girl lives in England but not from China and don't speak a word in Chinese but some guys just assume that I'm Chinese and say Ni-hao to me on streets. I just want to know why they do this. Do they find it funny or trying to be a racist or what? I won't be offended whatever you tell me so please tell me what you guys think. Thanks.\nI'm Asian girl and I'm fed up with some random non-Asian guys randomly say Ni-hao (Hello in Chinese)to me on streets. Why do they do this?",
"chosen": "Can I ask where in England? I'm English and went to a university with a large amount of Chinese women students and didn't encounter that phenomena (maybe I wouldn't look for it).\n\nFrom a guess I'd say they find it funny and believe because it's funny they get to ignore the fact it's racist. \n\nSo from a little corner of the UK... erm sorry, and I hope otherwise people are making you welcome!\n",
"rejected": "I own a little store in Canada, and I've travelled a bit, so I've picked up a few words in a few different languages. I've also got a pretty good ear for accents. Not always 100%, but if someone has a strong accent and I'm in doubt, I usually ask them where they're from.\n\nWhen they leave, I try to say something in their language. Whether it's \"auf wiedersein\" for the Germans \"sayonara\" for Japanese, or \"adieu\" for the French speaking folks...most if not all people seem to like it, and I only do it if I'm certain I know where they're from.\n\nI certainly hope I'm not offending anyone, just making a little extra effort to make them feel welcome.\n"
},
{
"query": "Mine isn’t that hard to explain. We all know those bouncers in nightclubs you see in cartoons or comedies or whatever. You know, big, burly, broad-shouldered black guy that looks *mean*. Then they speak and for whatever reason their voice sounds like a dogs squeaky toy and are sometimes stupidly soft spoken, and happens to be a an emotional hugger with a heart of gold? or something along those lines... \n\nYeah, I’m afraid to say I embody exactly this and my voice never caught the drift that I went through puberty. Definitely a hugger not a fighter. My application to be the baddest guy to step onto the football field was apparently rejected and here I am, a big ass guy who likes cats, writing music, hates violence and prefers to talk it out instead of fighting (black Buddha as a friend once told me in high school) . Gotta say though, I’m fine with this.\nDo you happen to fulfill a stereotype or trope in anyway? If you do, what is it?",
"chosen": "The girl everybody underestimates because she likes pink and wearing skirts and heels on a daily basis. Ugh.\n",
"rejected": "White male engineer who somewhat frequently ends up accidentally, \"man-splaning,\" not because I genuinely think that I know better or that others don't know I just really enjoy sharing the knowledge I have accumulated. I believe knowledge is power and I want others to have that power too. Sometimes I just get too excited to ask if that person already knows or wants to know about that subject.... \n\nI'm usually pretty good with social and body queues too (counter to the stereo type) but when I'm excited I can miss them and go on till just after their eyes glaze in the, \"okay I'm really bored and need to find a way to cut this guy off\" way. \n\nI usually try to make a somewhat smooth but rapid topic change and ask them something that will give them an opportunity to talk instead but it's clearly too late. Nobody seems terribly put off but I feel acutely aware of the stereotype in that moment.\n"
},
{
"query": "Mine, \n \nI started a new job in construction from working in a comfy desk job. I gained a ton of weight while working at the desk job and have since starting losing weight to the point you can see it. Ive been feelin pretty dope. \n \nWelp, was in the kitchen with the missus and she waa complimenting me. Telling me how she can see ive lost weight, most recently in my legs but not so much in the stomacn area. \n \nI said \"i dont know i used to be pretty fuckin fat\" \n \nShe replied immediately \"oh i know\". \n \nSo, yeah, thats where im at.\nWhat blow to your ego/confidence have you taken most recently?",
"chosen": "i sent a meme to a group chat and got silence ^^fucking ^^normies\n",
"rejected": "Monday, for some reason I was real horny all day at work and was craving my girlfriend. We spent all work day sending naughty things to each other, keeping things hot. She comes over and I'm ready to make her eyes roll back. We get to my room and start to get into each other. Now, my SO has eczema and for some reason, when we took off her pants, her legs started itching out of nowhere. On top of that, since we're getting a bit of a heatwave this week, it was pretty hot in my room, even with the fan on (AC, for some reason, doesn't vent well into my room). Anyways, after that scratching session, we start up. Since I've been raging all day, after about a few minutes, I feel myself already about to bust. When I pull out, she gets irritated because she's sweaty and itchy and she was about to cum but I pulled out. \n\nThat sucked. We ended up just laying there afterwards, a bit awkward. Sucked that I built up all day into that shitshow and I couldn't perform to get mind off being sweaty and itchy.\n"
},
{
"query": "I saw this post over on AskWomen and I saw a lot of people mentioning the women's side of roles in relationships and how dumb they were\nI.e. Women clean the table after holidays while men watch games. Women are expected to remember birthdays/holidays and send the cards and gifts. The woman's jobs aren't as important as the man's thus if he has to move for work, the woman has to quit her job. Etc. etc. \n\nWhile I almost entirely agree that all the things they mentioned are idiotic traditions in relationships, there was a strong bias toward what the *woman* has to go through. I was curious then, to see what men had to offer on the same subject. \n\nWhat are some traditional roles that men receive in relationships that you think are dumb/wrong?\nWhat are the worst traditions in relationships that you wish didn't exist? (X-post from r/AskWomen)",
"chosen": "Men always have to initiate the relationship and are the ones to have to take the risk of rejection. \n\nMen are expected to be the deciders and come up with ideas. The whole \"do you want to get dinner?\" thing comes to mind, but I see this all the time in other aspects. \n\nWe're expected to pay for more things and in somes cases all of the things.\n",
"rejected": "I wish men would take women's hoodies.\n"
},
{
"query": "Thank you for all your responses. \n\n23.\nCherish every moment you have with your loved ones, because it will end one day, and that day may be filled with regret.\n\nSadly I'm heading towards regret.\nHow old are you and what is the most important thing that you've learned so far about life?",
"chosen": "27 - Live life for you. Forget all the bullshit and do what makes you happy.\n",
"rejected": "33.\n\n* Anger is a poison you drink expecting the other person to die.\n\nOther things I've learned:\n\n* Figure out if you're an introvert or an extrovert. Knowing this about yourself can highly influence how you organize your life.\n* Create systems for yourself to remember everything.\n* Mistakes and problems aren't bad. They just mean you're moving forward. You can't stress about the 'bad' decisions you made in the past- you would have made other mistakes if you did it differently.\n* People who don't keep learning get left behind.\n* Above all else- don't lose your sanity.\n"
},
{
"query": "Are there cases when this isn't true?\n\nETA: Is there a difference in the answer when considering emotional v physical cheating? \n\nI find this fascinating, I'm not actually looking for advice applicable to my life at the moment.\nIf he cheats with you, he will cheat on you?",
"chosen": "If he cheats with you, he's showing that he doesn't object to cheating. So what reason would he have NOT to cheat on you? He approves of cheating, he thinks cheating is fun, why wouldn't he do something he approves of which is fun?\n\nI suppose there might be cases where it works out, but they probably post over in r/chastity.\n",
"rejected": "If you stay together long enough, he will eventually cheat on you whether he cheated with you or not. \n\nIf you stay together long enough, you will eventually cheat on him. \n\nThat's not as important as you think it is. What important is whether you will be be good to and for each other.\n"
},
{
"query": "A lot of guys I know have basically given up trying to get women. I can't count how many times I've heard guys say they're going to throw in the towel with dating: disregard females, acquire currency, and wait until the female peers hit 30 and get desperate as their looks (99% of their overall market value) take a sharp decline.\n\n The following are common complaints I hear. They don't necessarily represent my views. I think many of them are just lame excuses for guys who can't admit that they're not attractive to women.\n\n* **Women are too choosy**. Lots of women give off the impression that they'll settle for nothing less than Mr. Perfect. Guys learn this by getting repeatedly rejected despite their best efforts at self-improvement, and by listening to women describe their ridiculously high standards. \n\n* **Women aren't approachable.** I agree with this one. The average lady I see during my daily routine is staring at her phone screen and/or has headphones in her ears. It's rare that I see a woman who gives off the vibe that she'll be receptive to a rando striking up a conversation with her.\n\n* **Women have a self-entitled attitude.** They want to be our equals yet they want special treatment from us. They want relationships to be a one-way street where they control us.\n\n* **Women want \"jerks\", \"bad boys\", etc.** This seems to be true. Timid and passive men need apply. The problem is that timid and passive men don't want to change the way they are.\n\n* **The laws are skewed in favor of women.** Obviously this is true and a good reason to eschew marriage. We have a gyno-judicial system that royally fucks men over.\n\n* **Feminists have told us that women are happy being strong, independent individuals, that men are evil, that marriage is slavery, etc.** Really no point in pursuing women if this is true.\n\n* **Women are willing to fuck us outside of a relationship.** Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?\nAre men giving up on women nowadays?",
"chosen": "I know 2 guys who act like this about women, and both of them happen to have had really bad relationships in the past, both being cheated on and were hurt deeply. Ever since, both have started seeing women as inferiors, to be used only for sex. I think it's a defense mechanism and a sign of weakness and immaturity.\n",
"rejected": "Maybe you and your friends are having trouble finding women who want to date and/or fuck you because you view women as a monolithic group of herd animals that should behave predictably when cornered with flowers and a steak dinner. You have to take people one at a time -- you can't expect all women to like or want the same things, just like you can't expect all black people to act a certain way, or all Jewish people, or all disabled people, or all people who seem to fall under any other social category.\n\nPeople don't like to be judged based on external characteristics that they can't control (sex, gender, race, ability, religion, sexuality, etc), and judging from your post, it sounds like you are trying to make sweeping generalizations about what people want based on these superficial categories.\n\nMaybe you and your friends have trouble building happy & healthy relationships with women because they are put off by your reductive worldview or sense of entitlement to female companionship. Maybe you're not attractive. Maybe you're awkward. Maybe you're annoying or needy. There are a lot of reasons why you could be spurned by those you desire -- if you and I were on a first date, for example, and you started dropping these points, I would be incredibly put off by the extent to which you were stereotyping me.\n\nIt's true that women don't need men anymore. We can get the same jobs and earn the same money and support ourselves -- but that's a good thing. No romantic relationship should be built on financial necessity. Happy relationships are built on a mutual desire to spend time together, and I'm guessing no women want to spend time with you and your friends because you make them feel flawed or like inferior human beings. Try treating your lady friends as your equals -- as individuals with valid feelings and motives worthy of your respect, just like those of your male friends -- and see if you don't have more luck.\n"
},
{
"query": "This is probably a common question so I apologise in advance but I need help. I recently became a bit more social and started hanging out with some old friends (guys). So far I'm getting texts from these \"friends\" that are a little uncomfortable to me. And I've had one \"friend\" touching me trying to get into me. I just said \"what are you doing\" and he stopped. These guys are all good at other times. But I can't help feeling like cutting them off and going back to being a loner just so I don't have to deal with rejecting them. What do I do? How to let these guys down gently without being a bitch? I've already told them I don't want any kind of fling with anyone. Ugh!\nHow do I make it clear that I'm not interested in sex with friends that are guys?",
"chosen": "If you're a girl, you've just discovered the unpleasant truth that even most guys who are just friends with you might just want to fuck you; there are too many guys like that in this world. Tell them to respect your boundaries or GTFO.\n\nIf you're a dude...frankly, I have no bloody clue what to say to this, since the the one gay friend I am close enough with to talk about that shit often jokes that sometimes all it takes to be attracted to a guy sexually is knowing that he's part of that small minority too. Gay dudes, especially in red states (my friend lives in Georgia) have a problem of availability.\n",
"rejected": "Tell them straight. Leave literally nothing to guess-work.\n"
},
{
"query": "When youre dating, sleeping and/or in a relationship in her 30s how does it differ to women in their 20s?\n\n&#x200B;\n\ndetailed and thoughtful answers are appreciated\nWhat are the differences in dating women in their 20s vs 30s?",
"chosen": "A very substantial amount have 2 - 3 kids and are looking for a cash cow for said kids you being the cash cow. Those that don’t have kids are desperately looking for someone to marry and have kids with quickly, but there is a small portion who are like neither of the 2 I just described who are very smart, wonderful women to be around ! That’s who you should go for!\n",
"rejected": "This is something I've been thinking about for awhile now to be honest because it's super relevant to me. \n \nI'm 32 and I was single the past 3.5 years. In my 20s I was in 3 relationships all of them being over 2 years in length. I didn't \"give up\" these 3.5 years of being single, but I was definitely over searching for love for awhile; I just focused on myself. Slept around a lot, started loving myself, thought for sure I would never get involved with anybody under 30. But here I am, dating a 22 year old who completes me in every single way *especially* sexually an shared interests. The 30+ girls I've hooked up with the past year are nothing like me at all. I am incredibly active in the music/events/arts scene, going out until the weekend hours of the morning while my younger 20 somethings friends would be long asleep and the 30+ year olds would for sure be sleeping. I simply don't vibe with the older crowd as I feel like I'm very young at heart. I truly believe age is just a number. Sure, statistically speaking it would be hard to find a girl like this one at her age, but they exist if you're looking for very specific things and never settle for anything less.\n \nSide note: we can't really generalize age groups like we once used to. I personally feel that the younger crowds these days, while lacking in some life experience, are still very evolved humans; much much more evolved than I can say I was at 22. A lot of them have an incredible wisdom that I can't quite fathom, maybe social media and being raised around such exposure at a younger age has crafted them much differently.\n"
},
{
"query": "I want him to feel special, included and to know how much I appreciate him.\nI'm having a baby in 10 days. What can I do for my husband to show how much I love him?",
"chosen": "Be a loving person to him and the baby.\n",
"rejected": "You are probably feeling a lot of emotions right now seeing how you are 10 days from labour so that is probably the cause of this. \n\nBut if you really want him to feel special and show that you love him, let him be your hero. Ask him to comfort you when you're in pain and such. Don't abuse his loyalty but make him feel like he is helping.\n\nThat is what I would want at least.\n"
},
{
"query": "When I say a lot I mean so many hobbies that you have no way of juggling them all properly. I realized recently that I have so many interests that there is no way I could give the proper amount of time to each of them in order to be really good at any. Jack of all trades. Master of none sort of thing. \n\nSo for those renaissance men of AskMen: how do you do it? How do you keep all your hobbies and skills sharp while having so many?\nDo you guys have a lot of hobbies/interests?",
"chosen": "Nope. I'm a pretty simple guy in the most difficult way.\n",
"rejected": "By staying off the computer as much as possible.\n\nThe thing is that you don't need to spend shitloads of time every day to become decent at something. To become great, you need a lot of time. But \"Pretty good\" just needs like 30 minutes per day, and then stick to it every day.\n\nFor example, fun things i do in a regular day:\n\n* Piano ~30 mins\n* DuoLingo ~20 mins\n* Working out ~2 hours\n* Cleaning ~10 mins per day (Makes a HUGE difference at home)\n* Checking sales on local supermarkets and figuring out what new things i can cook ~30 mins\n* Practicing drawing ~10 mins\n* Studying\n\nAnd i still have too much time to waste in this godforsaken place. I'm trying to make it less and less every day because i know that every minute i waste here, is a minute i could be using to learn something i want to learn. \n\nThere is always time, you just need to get your priorities straight. We waste hours upon hours every day. Just imagine where we could be if we didn't.\n"
}
] | 11
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00016021728515625,
"logprob2": -6.625,
"signal": 6.624839782714844
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00005221366882324219,
"logprob2": -7.75,
"signal": 7.749947786331177
}
| 1.125108
| 2
|
3632
|
[
{
"query": "For a young guy, say 16 to early 20's, what are some not so obvious tips you can give them to improve their overall hygiene?\nWhat are some hygiene tips you can give someone young that might not be obvious?",
"chosen": "\\-Wash your towels! I shower twice a day (I live in a tropical climate and move around all day) and never use the same towel twice. Also, buy good towels. I have had the same 7 in rotation for 12 years now.\n\n\\-Get a 'skin thing' going for the overnights. I use a charcoal scrub on my hands and a mix of face stuff (not like a mask or anything...not that those don't work) that keeps me hydrated. I've never been greasy and am more prone to drying out than to packing in too much moisture. Don't be afraid to go to ULTA (they are a cosmetics store in the USA) and just ask one of the people who sells makeup. It's not the most comfortable thing to do, but it works.\n\nI use Dermalogica products every night. A little costly, but they work and I have horrible skin.\n",
"rejected": "Change your sheets and pillowcases once a week, so you’re not rolling around in your own oils and dirt\n"
},
{
"query": "i am a full time college student and i work on saturday and sunday. i am devoting MY time, energy and money to buy new clothes and to work out at the gym. so when a girl drops the boyfriend bomb on me, i will excuse myself from the conversation, go home for the day and try again when I have free time.\n\nso why do girls think i owe them friendship? they text me saying they thought we could be friends, but i am not looking for friendship. i just want a girlfriend\nwhy do girls get so upset after I drop all contact with them after they say they have boyfriends",
"chosen": "You're indicating that this person is interesting, worth talking to, and then immediately leaving when it's apparent you're not getting your dick wet and this person has no other value to you.\n\nI realize you're not necessarily just trying to get laid, but this is essentially what it looks like.\n",
"rejected": "How long do you play the faux friend game? 5 min or 5 weeks?\n"
},
{
"query": "As heterosexual guys, have you ever seen a girl naked and thought her breasts were ugly? Can breasts be ugly or are you basically universally attracted to them?\n\nI don't know if this is a dumb question, just legitimately want to know!\nOn the Topic of Breasts...",
"chosen": "If there's a problem, it's usually the nipples.\n",
"rejected": "Yay, more insecurities!!!! Thanks, AskMen!\n"
},
{
"query": "My boyfriend says he spends a lot of his time during sex focusing on not cummimg rather than enjoying the moment. A second immediate round is out of the picture because he gets depleted. If anyone else has had similar experiences, how do you manage to have enjoyable sex without focusing on not cumming the whole time?\nMen of Reddit who focus on not cumming quickly quickly sex, how do you \"let go\" and enjoy the moment?",
"chosen": "Encourage him to do other none-penetrative stuff that you enjoy. A lot of guys don't get that penis in vagina isn't the entirity of sex, and what people call foreplay isn't just a warm up for the main act.\n",
"rejected": "I get my girl off with foreplay. Once I know she's had at least one, I can relax enough to enjoy it.\n"
},
{
"query": "I have raised my son on my own since he was an infant and we have a great relationship. He has just gotten his first girlfriend and I’ve noticed captions on his social media are quite sad. For example “she’s too good for me, I hope I don’t lose her”, “I really want a long relationship, I hope she doesn’t leave me”, “I can’t believe she wants to be with me”. I don’t want him to feel like he has to be a sad guy to get girls to like him. I want him to understand that she is with him because clearly she thinks he’s great and interesting and that she wants to be with him as much as he wants to be with her, but I know he will think that I’m just being classic mum, and I think everything he does is awesome and that he’s the most handsome boy in the world (which I do). How do I broach this subject with him and give him confidence in a dad way?\nAs a single mother, how do I teach my teenage son to confidently date and interact with girls?!",
"chosen": "There are two books called No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover and Models by Robert Manson. He can listen to them both on audible. \n\nThey are not about pick up artist stuff or women hating stuff... it’s about how having a sense of self, direct honesty along with a lack of neediness and clingy ness will allow you have more success with women and more successful relationships. That clingy stuff won’t work. It’s like repellent to women and a recipe for misery.\n",
"rejected": "This might hit a sensitive place but you have to take into account that he never experienced the love of another paternal figure (in this case a father), so him seeing someone else give him affection other than you will be huge thing to unpack and he will think that he doesn't deserve it. I'm 16 and my father was/is barely present for me on an emotional level and as a kid, on physical levels. I'm struggling with the same thing your son is going through but I keep on reminding myself that this person loves me because they saw me as an amazing, interesting and smart human being, while in fact I'm not.\n"
},
{
"query": "I've just asked the women this on askwomen and I'd like a male perspective. So which tv character would you have sex with? And why do they ring your bell?. so to speak.\n\nPs thanks for reading and possibly answering.\nWhich tv character would you have sex with and why?",
"chosen": "She's not on tv anymore but Ariana Grande. Now Sarah Hyland.\n",
"rejected": "Bernadette from the Big Bang theory. \nBrilliant. Ambitious. A little shy, but crazy enough to still be lots of fun. \nFreaking gorgeous. Solid career. Body like woa. Smarter than most. \nI want one.\n"
},
{
"query": "A little backstory: I’m a Mid 20s F here, who is pretty inexperienced when it comes to all things dating. Doesn’t mean I haven’t gone out and spoken to men, am awkward, can’t hold a conversation, or anything like that. I’ve just been more about my career and setting up my future, so while I’ve done that I’ve neglected other parts of my life such as romance. I’m currently opened to dating and don’t mind meeting people, but with that also comes with the questions of how many people you’ve been with or what happened with your last relationship. I’m honest and just say that I was never really focused on chasing a relationship or a quick fuck for that matter (which there is nothing wrong with that, it’s just not what I’m after currently) so there’s not a lot of experience on my part in that realm. My inexperience usually isn’t a problem with the men I’ve met but there are some men that completely steer clear of me after hearing that, or think I’m lying or joking considering my age and the time we live in. I don’t take offense to it, since they have voiced that they don’t want to be a teacher. I completely understand and respect that they were honest with me. So my question I guess is what’s your guys’ opinion and take on inexperienced women?\nMen who’ve been with the “inexperienced girl” how was that like for you?",
"chosen": "I'll tell you what, spending an evening making an inexperienced girl into a somewhat more experienced girl beats the hell out of spending it on reddit.\n",
"rejected": "I prefer it, honestly. I realize I'm in the minority for saying so, but I wouldn't date someone unless she was inexperienced simply because I don't really have any experience either and am not interested in being with someone more experienced whose expectations and past partners I'm going to be compared to.\n"
},
{
"query": "I know it's hard to listen to, but I feel like I can get critical clues and red flags about them. For example, why they dumped a person could tell you what their priorities are.\nDoes anyone else find a girl's relationship past actually helpful in determining what type of person they are?",
"chosen": "It can give you an idea of what to keep an eye out for but in the end you are better putting your focus and energy into what that person is doing now. People make mistakes, people's perspectives change and people grow up. If you are going into a relationship and gauging that person by their past and not their current actions and the interactions they have had with you then I think things have a pretty short life span. \n\nI feel like this is even more important for the people who have those red flags in their history. If you never give people the chance to be somebody different how are they supposed to grow. I know it drives me absolutely insane when people judge me based on my past decisions because well I've made a lot of crappy shitty ones. \n\nIf you are curious about something like what their priorities are, just ask and you will get a more accurate. Basically your critical clues and red flags are just your own assumptions until you have talked and asked the other person about them.\n",
"rejected": "Does your credit score matter?\n"
},
{
"query": "Hi ! \nI keep seeing here that there are a lot more men on dating apps than women. Technically, as there should be as many single men and women, this does not make sense.\nIs it that women are raised to be emotionally sufficient while men often only confide in their SO?\nBit dating apps are a lot about sex and hookups so that for me has to play a big part into this.\nAlso, I do not buy into the \"women have THOUSAND \" of men to talk to, if so, most of these men are pretty much talking to any available woman, which says more about the men than the women...\n\nWhat is your perspectives on that?\nwhy is it that men are so-called \"desperate\" to be dating (see dating aps for instance)",
"chosen": "i had a Girlfriend she was single and how i see her a Average Girl. We talked about why I'm single and i tell why I'm Single and that online Dating doesn't work for me. She don't believe it so i tell her that she can see it, that we both making a Tinder account and she sees that it doesn't work for me. After a Month we look at our Accounts and she sees that i only had 3 Matches, she had over 60 matches.\n\nWoman on Dating apps get really flooded with Matches, that's true.\n",
"rejected": "A point of pride for a man is to court a beautiful woman.\n\nA point of pride for a woman is to not need a man.\n\nThere ya go.\n"
},
{
"query": "I don't know if it's just the area where I live, but I would swear people have gotten meaner over the last couple of years. Being polite seems to turn people off now while being snarky is in. People seem to like to tear each other down now for fun. Maybe I'm talking out of my ass here, but what do you guys think?\nIn what ways have you noticed society getting meaner?",
"chosen": "People are the same as always IRL— happy and cheerful. But I’m also very friendly in RL so that probably makes them reciprocate. Only online or in traffic are people assholes IME\n",
"rejected": "With younger people it’s like “if you don’t think exactly how I think you’re a horrible person and everything that’s wrong with this world “ you can’t have a differing view or opinion without being the bad guy.\n"
},
{
"query": "\"Do you like that?\" \n\"Mmm yeah\" \n\"What do you like about it?\" \nThis is when my brain empties and every response comes out like a question... \n\"It's deep?\" OR \"Ummm....everything?\" \n\n\nMy boyfriend and I have been together a few years now and one of the things I have found I struggle with is dirty talk. I don't know what I should be saying because every time I say something, I feel like a complete idiot. Please men, help a sister out! What do y'all wanna hear? Does it depend what position you're in or will anything press your buttons?\nMen, what do you want to hear in bed?",
"chosen": "\"Shut the fuck up and fuck me\" would be an appropriate response\n",
"rejected": "Silence, I have problems sleeping without it\n"
},
{
"query": "Instead of bullet dodged, the bullet hits you right in the face.\nWhat's your \"I did NOT dodge the bullet\" story?",
"chosen": "This is very embarassing but when i was young, for some stupid reason i thought \" maybe playing the drums isnt that hard \" and signed up to a child band even though i had never touched a drumkit ever before\n\nNeedless to say, the first day of rehearsals was some of the most cringe-y moments of my life, turns out playing the drums is very hard and i was very stupid\n",
"rejected": "'Sure I'll go for a walk with you' to a friend of a friend kinda late at night. \n\nGot raped.\n"
},
{
"query": "I have a thing with this girl and I'm not to sure about some stuff so I'm just trying to see if there are some red flags I'm missing. And your welcome to share stories:)\nWhat are the BIGGEST red flags to look for when interested in a girl or dating a girl?",
"chosen": "* She talks about her ex, especially in a bad light constantly: watch out.\n",
"rejected": "Easiest way to spot flags is to have 6-8 drinks with her and remain amicable and as pleasant as possible. If she starts raging out, throwing her toys or generally losing her shit, she has some underlying shit thats shes covering but which wont be fae hiddwn once youre going steady.\n\nSource: frequent firsthand experience\n"
}
] | 5
|
{
"logprob1": -8.344650268554688e-7,
"logprob2": -4.375,
"signal": 4.374999165534973
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00018024444580078125,
"logprob2": -4.75,
"signal": 4.749819755554199
}
| 0.374821
| 7
|
86
|
[
{
"query": "I'm back home for the holidays, and I have noticed that all of the older men in my family all piss very loudly. My dad's (50ish) generation and up. The violent displacement of the water is heard several yards away. \n\nFour of the six people that do this are veterans, so that might be connected...\n\nI talked to my cousins and \"cool uncle\" about it and we decided that they probably don't aim at the water and not the porcelain when peeing. \n\nWhere do you aim when peeing, and how old are you?\nHow do you pee? Do you actively try to bounce your pee off of the porcelain instead of aiming directly into the water?",
"chosen": "I pee as loudly as possible in public. It's a matter of establishing dominance. I want to out-pee anybody within earshot. \n\nAt home, I actually sit down. I had my appendix removed when I was a teen and couldn't pee while standing up for a good while. After that I realized that I'm too lazy to pee standing up at home.\n",
"rejected": "I try to angle the steam at the side walls towards the back of the bowl. This allows the pee to disperse along the bowl and flow into the water. I rarely ever have any splash back or drips along the rim. \n\nI did the same at urinals, it's a pretty good universal strategy.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm 31F, recently ended a 2.5 year relationship. \n\nI know that if I want to do the husband and kids thing, I should probably stop messing around. But at the same time, really I just want a healthy relationship with someone I connect with to do cool things with. \n\nI've gotten some good advice from friends, but I'd love to hear what Reddit has to say about it.\nWhat can a woman in her 30s do to be marriage material?",
"chosen": "I'm sure I'll get down-voted, but here goes... Start paying more attention to the not-so-good-looking guys you see. If they're still single in their 30s, they are probably a lot more interested in a real relationship. Women are almost as bad as men at tending to judge potential dates by their looks, so good-looking men don't have to worry much about it.\n",
"rejected": "Don't have kids, weigh less than 150 pounds, and don't look borderline disfigured. That'll put you in the top 10% of 30 year old women.\n"
},
{
"query": "I have seen many a married man say that they dont like kids but never heard the \"afferwards\" if they had them.\nMen who dont like kids/babies but ended up having them... what are your thoughts now?",
"chosen": "I never saw myself as a father. I hated kids. Had an oopsie (well being horny and stupid is more like it) and had a daughter, something in me changed. Then had a son. I don't want any more kids, but I do enjoy kids. My daughter is now a teenager and all her friends call me dad, which I find kind of funny and cool. \n\nMy favorite age of kids is 2-6, they're just so fun at that age.\n",
"rejected": "I was ambivalent about kids, I knew I wanted to continue the family name but I just really didn't *like* kids. \n\nSo when the g/f said she was pregnant, it was a shock to say the least, but it focused the mind to say the least and we decided to do things properly. Six months later we were married and had bought a house ready for the new arrival. \n\nThe next two years were hard, it was a one bedroom house so the boy was sleeping in the same room and it paid havoc with my sleep. I averaged around 4 1/2 hours broken sleep per night. \n\nDespite the sleeplessness and the financial ruin, I can confirm it IS worth it. We've moved house and the boy has his own room and is a really good sleeper. \n\nHe's 3 1/2 now and much more interactive now, we play, laugh, build blanket forts, watch thunderbirds and mythbusters together. Don't get me wrong, it's hard work to say the least (it's like hostage negotiation with a highly unstable terrorist) but worth every minute of the hard times when he tells me he loves me or tells me he missed me when I get back home. \n\nTl;dr, if you think you're a not a natural dad, you'll be surprised what you're capable of when you're exhausted, skint and a father.\n"
},
{
"query": "For my friend, it was some stranger at a redlight calling him a pussy and saying his girlfriend was a slut who cheats behind his back.\n\nHe said he was pissed that the guy had said that in front of his girlfriend and me and that he felt like he would have fought that guy if it had been face-to-face. He said he felt emasculated in particular by the stranger catcalling his girlfriend while he was right there with his hand on her shoulder.\n\nPersonally, I feel like he shouldn't have let any of that total stranger's words get to him, and that he definitely shouldn't have felt riled up to the point of wanting to fight.\n\nThoughts?\nHow would you react if a stranger insulted you and your girlfriend in public?",
"chosen": "Point and laugh.\n\nThe one time this happened with me (it really doesn't happen often) it was really funny. Drunk dude said something to me about the girl I was with (don't remember, probably called her a slut or something). I chuckled, 'cause I don't care about the opinions of others, but my girl... Whooo boy. Did she care. If this drunk dude was trying to pick a fight with me, he missed. He picked a fight with the girl, and it was glorious.\n\nShe stormed up to him, starting jamming her finger into his chest and kept pushing him back. All the while yelling and screaming and calling him names, belittling his manhood, the whole nine yards. Within seconds the entire bar patronage (closing time outside bar) was enjoying the show.\n\nAt one point, one of the girls friends asked me if I was going to step in and protect the girl I was with. I simply asked why. She seemed to be doing fine on her own, and I was enjoying the show.\n\nEventually, dudebro's friends dragged him away to the laughter of the crowd. And then the girl and I went home and had glorious angry sex.\n\nLong story short (too late), point and laugh, then sick my girl friend on them.\n",
"rejected": "Its a total stranger. Who cares.\n\n\nAt the same time I understand being offended by it. Ive had 'nigger' yelled at me before by a passing car on the street. I'm half black and barely even dark, thouhh I did have a wicked fro. That moment has left a lasting mark on my brain. I know its just idiots yelling stuff from the sàfety of a moving car, but if that light turned red I know I wouldve started smashing windows and painting their car a new colour... at the same time if that light turned red im not sure what wouldve happened to me alone at 2 am.\n"
},
{
"query": "i never feel sexy and it's no fun. i feel like the world has decided that i'm some kinda monk with celibacy or something, or worse sometimes i feel like some kinda creep or whatever. kinda hurts my self esteem. \n\ni see lotsa empowerment stuff online that's woman focused and it's great and i like it, but not sure how to apply that to me as a male. \n\nwhat do you do when you wanna feel sexy?\nwhat can i, a man who hasn't had an intimate experience for three years, do to feel sexy?",
"chosen": "You need a make over. This is more involved than just a shower and brushing your hair. You need a hot steamy shower and to exfoliate, try a nice sugar scrub. Then some expensive lotion to moisturize your skin. Go to the hairdresser and get a trim and request a head massage. Get your eyebrows down and a shave where they put those warm white towels on your face. \n\nFigure out what your best asset is and show it off. Is it your calves? Do you have nice biceps? Buy an outfit that shows it off and make sure the color of the shirt accentuates your skin tone. Make sure your shoes are new and new socks too. \n\nNow you have to go somewhere , where you can flaunt yourself. Depending on your age, this could be a bar, nightclub or the mall. Look people in the eye and smile at them knowing you look like a million bucks.\n",
"rejected": "Get a good suit, I was surprised how good I felt when I put it on.\n"
},
{
"query": "I love hearing people's stories on the beauty of life. Be it young, old, male or female. Everyone has their own. My parents for example were robbed of their money during hitchhiking to Germany and were left stranded on a gas station. They got picked up by a friendly German grandpa who offered to sleep them over in his house. He introduced them to his family, they went hiking in the mountains, explored a city and had a lot of fun. In the end he gave them some euros because he felt bad he couldn't drive them back home but wanted to make sure their honeymoon will be a one to remember. What's yours?\nWhat's one memory that you have that is so positive it keeps you going even in the worst times?",
"chosen": "When I brung my mom back from a dark time in her life without knowing it, I was only 9 I think.\n\nShe had gone through a divorce with that I know now is her soulmate (they are once again toghether) and she still kinda lived at his house to take care of my half siblings and other stuff. My stepdad then was seeing another woman who was also kinda living there sometimes. Most of the time it was all 3 of them.\nThen my mom moved in with a man she met close where I love with my dad and the man she was with wasen’t really the best, his house was a mess, etc. \n\nThink at that point she was sleeping less, seeing her children less, including me. She might have also turned to drinking but only alone and in small portions.\n\nI apperently said that I knew she and her ex would get toghether once again but that might just have been to be niece to her idk. She keeps asking me sometimes how I knew and I still dont know why so I just say that I knew, that’s all.\n\nThe thing that made her brake through her darkness was when I suddently called her in the middle of the week and asked her if I could come stay with her for the weekend( I rarely saw her at that point) even though the place she was living at sucked, it was a mess and there wasent anything to do. That’s what she tells me atleast what happened and I love younger me for that.\n\nSorry for the lenght but you asked😊\n",
"rejected": "One time I went to my Mom's house and our yorkie had just had a litter of pups a few weeks earlier. I go in and lay on the living room floor. The only light in the room is the christmas tree and all these little fur balls scrambled from under the tree and started crawling all over me. Lots of little puppy smooches and laughter. It's my happiest memory.\n"
},
{
"query": "I'm 22 years old. I work as a web dev, I have no degree yet (was in conscription till last year, Israel), this is a job I landed purely on self practice and because it's an interest of mine. I read books, I'm an avid fan of music, I'm learning to play guitar, I have long-term goals in life. I like coming up with ideas, I love movies, I love learning how things work. \n \nBut generally, I'm not a very good conversation. I'm not sure where the barrier is. I meet up with people, and generally I love listening more than talking, unless someone is finally interested in something that I'm passionate about, which is so, so rare, that normally I don't talk much about what I like to do because it bores people. They nod and agree, say \"that's cool\", but I can see the look on their face that say it's their politeness talking. \n \nWhen I ask other people about what they do, they usually tell me about it in a short, uninviting sentence, I try to inquire more and be interested but they mostly shut me out and give me straight, short answers. \n \nWhat am I doing wrong? I can't have a good conversation for the life of me. It's not an anxiety problem, I have no problems talking to people. I look into their eyes, I don't shy around. I'm no better when texting, so it's not that I can't handle the face to face part. Phone calls are usually awkward or straight to the point, I don't like talking on the phone much. I'd prefer face to face. But I suck at it. \n \nWhat do I do?\nGuys, how can I be less boring?",
"chosen": "Nope, not too much. At least I don't think so. My best stuff are usually quotes ):\n",
"rejected": "keeping up on current events helps... read the news, develop your opinions on things so you can speak about them when the subject comes up.\n\nIt also helps to have a sort of off beat hobby or something you are into. Thats not a must, but if you do something out of the ordinary folks will want to know about it, or how you got into. Like bee keeping or something haha. Music is fine, but a lot of people play instruments, not terribly interesting. Now if you collect something interesting thats cool.\n\nJust some ideas.\n"
},
{
"query": "Wet BBQ, or Dry BBQ? There's one answer. \n\nAnd what's your ideal BBQ spread?\nIn honor of July 4th AskMen, it's time for the important questions. How do you like your BBQ?",
"chosen": "One answer?!?! You know they give the death penalty for treason, right?\n",
"rejected": "Like so many things, it's so much better when wet.\n"
},
{
"query": "I've just asked the women this on askwomen and I'd like a male perspective. So which tv character would you have sex with? And why do they ring your bell?. so to speak.\n\nPs thanks for reading and possibly answering.\nWhich tv character would you have sex with and why?",
"chosen": "She's not on tv anymore but Ariana Grande. Now Sarah Hyland.\n",
"rejected": "Bernadette from the Big Bang theory. \nBrilliant. Ambitious. A little shy, but crazy enough to still be lots of fun. \nFreaking gorgeous. Solid career. Body like woa. Smarter than most. \nI want one.\n"
},
{
"query": "Just turned 20 and want to make the next few years some years to remember, any advice?\nHow can I make the most of my twenties?",
"chosen": "Sleep around with different women\n\nTry drugs\n\nTravel\n",
"rejected": "Take care of your body, not just working out (but you should do that too), but don't rat it out with alcohol or smoking and such. You'll thank yourself later. Start eating the right way now so that it's a habit by the time you're in your 30s. \n\nDate more, or at least approach more, so you don't regret not getting experience sooner.\n\nTry and finish college now while you can function on zero sleep for days. That will also come back to bite you if you do it later in life.\n"
},
{
"query": "language* \n\n@#$%!\n\nI love language stuff, thanks for all the responses! I read all of them (almost) :D\nThose of you who speak 2+ languages, how does your personality change between languages, and do you feel that a particular languages highlights a part of your personality more?",
"chosen": "I speak English and Dutch fluently, and I must say I'm a lot more suave in English. Flirting in Dutch just sounds corny and I get self-conscious about how lame my own language is.\n",
"rejected": "I speak English, French and Greek fluently and there isn't really a big difference in my personality when I switch between languages. I am a little better at wordplay in French but that's pretty much it I think\n"
},
{
"query": "Back in highschool I became friends with my neighbor who was a girl scout and on the softball team. One of my favorite memories with her is when she showed me how to make a tampon bomb in a similar vein to a Molotov cocktail. Evidently she learned it at a girl scout camp out and the softball girls played with them for fun. 10/10 made many flaming hand grenades with her and had a blast literally.\nWhat's the most interesting \"girl secret\" a female friend or SO has enlightened you on?",
"chosen": "You can use your tiddies to launch soap in the shower. I had read it on tumblr or something and when I brought it up she was all too happy to show me.\n",
"rejected": "Girls poop too\n"
},
{
"query": "Was it by choice or no? Did you find that there were still viable women out there to date/have sex with? Did you ever end up settling down?\nMen who were/are still single at 30. How was it?",
"chosen": "Can confirm. Am 24 and am trying to pick up someone who's over 30.\n",
"rejected": "31 and single. Not by choice. Plenty of viable women out there to date. Plenty to have sex with I’m sure, but I don’t follow rules #1 and #2 to have that option.\n\nI’m jealous of those that are 30+ and single and OK with it. I’m officially the last of all my friends that is not married. I hate that most nights I have to entertain myself. I am doing my very best to not be desperate, but it’s hard with these nights be stuck home alone\n"
},
{
"query": "what advice would you give a 22 year old woman who wants to wait until marriage for sex and is starting to get into the dating world? Thank-you.\nWhat dating advice would you give someone who has never dated?",
"chosen": "Its supposed to be fun, to many people make a big deal out of it and forget to just enjoy getting to know someone.\n\nAlso the majority of your dates will never lead anywhere, don't take it personally, that's just how things go.\n",
"rejected": "I'd say you should be very upfront about your feelings regarding marriage and sex. This will be a deal breaker for a lot of people, so it makes sense to filter these people out so you can find what you're looking for. Some people are likely to say they're okay with this arrangement but not really be. They should absolutely believe you when you tell them what the ground rules are, but some of them won't, so it may pay to make this clear early and often. Are you religious? If so, it may help to start looking in that setting. It may also make sense to sign up for some dating websites so you can look for people with similar life goals and interests. Always a good idea to meet up somewhere in public when you're first meeting with someone. Good luck!\n"
}
] | 2
|
{
"logprob1": -0.000141143798828125,
"logprob2": -4.5,
"signal": 4.499858856201172
}
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00018024444580078125,
"logprob2": -6.375,
"signal": 6.374819755554199
}
| 1.874961
| 11
|
6387
|
[
{
"query": "I (24/f) am going on a date/meet up with a guy I met online very soon and I honestly just wanna know how the heck do I conduct myself, what do I talk about etc. he's 8 years older than yours truly and I'm honestly not well versed in older guy talk lol. Now, I realize it's not that big an age gap, but being a generally awkward, shy, reserved person, this might prove to be quite difficult for me to navigate. Some pointers would help a great deal. This may sound like a really pathetic thing to ask, but this is the first time I'll be going on a date in all of my 24 years. So, some advice/tips could really come in handy. Maybe some of your turn ons and turn offs, dos and don'ts etc. \n\nThanks! \n\nFollow up question: would you even consider being with someone who doesn't necessarily have their shit together? Because I feel I'm at that stage right now, and maybe someone in their 30s just doesn't have time to deal with that and wants someone more stable. May be over thinking things but it's kind of an insecurity of mine.\nOlder men of reddit, what topics of conversation typically interest you on a first date? And I know it'll obviously differ from man to man, but I'd be interested just in some examples. And by older guys, I mean 30 and above.",
"chosen": "(46 here) Be yourself, relax. Keep it light, mention your job, but don’t go into a huge amount of detail unless he asks. Talk about your interests, what you do for hobbies, your life philosophy.\n",
"rejected": "I tend to push women away by doing it but I typically want to know interesting shit that I probably shouldn't talk about. My go to example was asking a girl what happened between her and her former fiancé. \n\nBasically, I want you to show me why I should spend time with you. If you put on a likeable façade by not trying to show realness, it probably is not going to work out. \n\nYou would have to define what having your shit together means to you for me to answer that question.\n"
},
{
"query": "Whether it's the company picnic, the Christmas party, or just the manager who's decided it'd be a great team-building exercise to all get together for happy hour after work, do you guys have any particularly effective ways of getting out of \"mandatory fun\"? I have two jobs, so I have the built-in excuse that I literally have to be somewhere else and can't get out of it, but I know at some point they're going to expect me to plan my schedule at Job 2 around some event and get mad at me if I don't play ball.\n\nEven if I didn't have a second job, I still wouldn't want to be there unless I was being paid overtime; you cut into my personal time, you're gonna see my motivation go completely into the toilet and eventually wonder why I'm looking for work elsewhere. I'd like to avoid that.\n\nAnyone with experience at this got some good advice? Or just want to threadjack and talk about Weird Al Yankovic's 2014 album of the same name?\nMen whose workplaces have \"mandatory fun\", how do you get out of it without getting canned?",
"chosen": "Mandatory fun was an ok album. Not his best, but good.\n",
"rejected": "My last boss in high-tech called an all-hands meeting to record the entire company doing the 'Harlem Shake.' I noped, snuck in the men's room, and fucked around on Reddit for half an hour.\n"
},
{
"query": "My morning commute is littered with reasonably well dressed men wearing tattered backpacks, some which look like they came straight out of dumpsters. Surely white collar guys can afford something nice, so why cart around your son's dirty gym bag? Is it a code? Do they not give a single heck? Help me out here, I must know WHY.\nbusinessmen wearing sh*tty backpacks, WHY?",
"chosen": "I personally would never wear one going into the office, but I don't care what anyone else does. Now I stand out because I have a smart looking leather bag/briefcase that I wear across my chest while traveling and then carry as a briefcase when walking into the office.\n",
"rejected": "Because that bag comes off first thing in the office, and first thing at home. It doesn't matter what it looks like.\n"
},
{
"query": "i decided i'm going to start stepping out of my comfort zone and trying to approach guys at bars first (for reference i'm a 25 year old female). i'm sometimes shy with men at bars due to some general confidence issues i'm still trying to get better with. however, tomorrow is my birthday and i'm trying to change up little things in my life such as things like this, because i've never actually approached a man first before. so, what's something attractive a woman could do if she took the initiative to talk to you first at a bar?\nmen, what is the most attractive thing a woman can do if she approaches you at a bar first?",
"chosen": "Eye contact and smiling is enough to get a mans attention.\n",
"rejected": "happy birthday.\n\nstir my drink with her finger, then taste her finger, while maintaining eye contact.\n\nyeah, that would do it.\n"
},
{
"query": "How did you become boring? Were you always boring? Are you capable of NOT being boring? Are you OK with being boring? What disadvantages are there to being boring?\nAre you a boring person? If so, why?",
"chosen": "I'm pretty boring from an outside perspective. I wasn't always boring, but then I went to med school and 95% of my time went into studying. The remaining 5% goes into working out and running, both of which I tend to do alone as there's nobody around at my level of either. I don't really watch much TV or Netflix, haven't seen movies in a year or so, and most of my social interaction is with medical field people so I have nothing much else to relate to people. It's ok I guess.\n",
"rejected": "I don't feel boring just disconnected because my interests are not the same as many of the people around me.\n"
},
{
"query": "I am 33 and have never really used lotion in my life. This year, the weather changing has made my skin particularly dry/itchy and a lot of people have told me I should try lotion. Problem is, I am kinda lost when it comes to knowing what a good lotion is for this issue due to never using lotion before. What are some of your favorite brands to use? I figured I would ask here rather than just try a bunch of different ones until I find one I like. I'd rather take targeted suggestions and start from there. Any input is appreciated, thank you in advance for your guidance.\nGents, what lotions do you use/recommend for someone dealing with dry skin in this cold weather?",
"chosen": "I use a body lotion by Bath and Body Works. It's from their men's line of products called Noir. It's a great scent and it works for me.\n",
"rejected": "Raw shea butter. I've seen it work miracles, from vanishing scars to pulling imbedded coral out of skin. Amazing stuff.\n"
},
{
"query": "Possibly nearing the end of my current career and have many interest but most of them don't really have much of a demand anymore. Would like some ideas a what's out there and worth it.\nWhat are some high demand college degrees that have a future?",
"chosen": "Trade Schools \nLook at machinists, they're in high demand, and as others have said, plumbers, electricians, etc. are pretty recession proof\n",
"rejected": "Anything you excel at, seriously. Even if engineers are in high demand, if you barely scrape through school and aren't very good it doesn't matter about the job market. If you're a wizkid Art student you can find a really great job even though the 'market' seems bleak\n"
},
{
"query": "Let's say she came onto you but you weren't attracted sexually or preferred to stay friends. How did it go? \n\nI had to do it once, many years ago. I handled it awkwardly, she had a good cry but in the end, we stayed friends and she found someone else.\nAnyone ever had to reject a female friend romantically?",
"chosen": "On a several occasions. None of them handled it well. Got slapped by one. Had one key my car. Had one try to get me fired. I don't believe women handle rejection well especially if they are above average physically. If I had handled any of these situations like them I'd be labeled creepy douchebag that needed therapy.\n",
"rejected": "Also in high school. I had a crush on this hot girl in one of my classes. I would hang out with her and this other girl and we would do assignments together and stuff. The other girl was quite overweight and not too attractive. \n\nSo one day the hot girl I had a crush on approaches me with a letter that she wrote. I was like \"Ooh, she feels the same way about me!\" It turned out to be a letter about how the unattractive girl has a crush on me. That girl was there as I read the letter and I had to tell her I wasn't interested and she burst into tears.\n"
},
{
"query": "My boyfriend and I and some of our friends were sharing funny sex stories and apparently during the night while I sleep, I hump his leg (ie rub my clitoris against his leg if I happen to be sort of lying on or against him) untill I orgasm. Yep, like a dog. So embarrassing! My boyfriend says he thinks is adorable and funny but it kind of bothers me. I feel like I am molesting him without his consent kind of. I mean he said he would just wake me up or gently push me of. But it still kind of bothers me. I was raped when i was 17 so consent is big for me and I am worried that he is secretly disturbed by my behavior or something. IDK it just bothers me. Not sure what my question is really, just ranting and looking for different viewpoints.\ntechnically, am I molesting my boyfriend?",
"chosen": "I would say as someone who hasn't been affected by sexual assault, if he has no problem with it, it's fine. Would it make you feel better if he promised you he would wake you up and make you stop if he had a problem with it?\n",
"rejected": "If it makes you uncomfortable how he stands on the issue, then ask him. He has already said that he's okay with it. If you aren't sure, then clarify it. If you want to do something like it, get in close and whisper in his ear and ask if it's okay. Seriously, you can probably turn him on quite a bit by doing so. \n\nAsk him, if he says no, then don't. If he says yes, then go ahead. Watch for him freezing up or hesitating. If you see those, ask him if you should continue. If he does then stop. \n\nYou've raised an issue of consent, and as a man I thank you for it. Keep the lines of communication open.\n"
},
{
"query": "So I (32m) started a new job where I met this older woman 46, whose been showing me the ropes of the job.\n\nWe get along really well despite the age gap. We share a lot of the same life philosophies and have had many similar experiences and really click on a personal level. I ended up looking up to her more than just in a work way.\n\nI found her attractive the first time I saw her and found her admirable considering the things she's been through. But my feelings were that of how you would crush on a teacher. Didn't really think much of it aside from checking her out on the sly occasionally and knew nothing would come of it.\n\nAnyway, she asked me to get a drink after work one time. Didn't think anything of it, we were purely platonic and I get drinks with men and woman all the time and it never feels like anything other than platonic.\n\nWhile we were out, we talked a lot about our personal lives and shared a lot of deep feelings on life. Still, didn't think anything of it. I have these talks with a lot of people.\n\nBut it wasn't until we were talking about interests and laughing that I realized this felt like a date. And realized I actually liked her more than just a crush. I actually started to have feelings for her.\n\nI figured it was just one sided and me just being stupid. But the next time we got a drink she actually brought up that she sensed there was a mutual attraction between us.\n\nI was pretty floored and bumbled around like an idiot. But she said she's not in the position to have anything right now at the moment because of her recent divorce and didn't want to scandalize her kids with a new person in their lives. So I don't think anything more will happen.\n\nI feel pretty upset with myself for developing feelings and getting myself in this situation.\n\nI'm definitely not lonely or desperate and jumping on the first thing I see. I've actually had a pretty healthy dating life the past year, but never really clicked with any of the girls.\n\nNow I meet this woman and all of a sudden I like her. I feel like an idiot. I dated all these woman before her and never clicked with any of them like I do with her. In fact, I never gave a shit about any of them. Not in a I wouldn't care if they got hurt way, more in a I wouldn't care if we broke up way.\n\nIf any of my friends were in my position I would tell them to get over themselves and don't get caught up in anything.\n\nBut sense I'm in it, I feel like it's more complicated than that.\n\nGive it to me straight Reddit. Call me a moron and bring me to my senses and move on from this.\nHave you ever dated a significantly older woman? How did it go?",
"chosen": "You never said how old you are. You need to think about what you want in life. Which head are you thinking with, here? I'm not saying either way, just put more thought into this.\n",
"rejected": "Sounds like an opportunity for FWB or casual relationship for both of you. The age gap is an issue only if you make it one. \n\nShe is being honest about her current situation and not looking for a relationship, but someone she trusts to spend time with.\n\nGive it a shot, just don’t expect a full relationship with her.\n"
},
{
"query": "To clarify - I meant for example pictures of family or a bird or the sky.\n\nBut since we're heading that way - why don't you like having your picture taken\nApparently I'm not the only man who never takes photos - Askmen, why don't you take photos?",
"chosen": "Cause I dont have crippling narcissism and often photos of oneself is the first step in getting validation via said photos. Personally I take a photo for two reasons, generally: 1) I'm in a cool place, in which case look at this cool place around me, or 2) I've met/am with someone famous or notable, in which case look here at this notable person I am with. Other than that.....I just don't understand what non narcissistic reasons you could have, other than the occasional \"one for the family/memories\" which is a lot more understandable. But a selfie or a picture EVERY friday you go out? Pathetic\n",
"rejected": "i have a living in the moment thing. i dont have an issue taking pics of cool shit i see but i have to purposely remind myself to take photos of me.\n"
},
{
"query": "I think this is kind of a running joke in pop culture, that men would \"love\" to get the kind of objectification that women complain about. I'm just wondering if there's truth to that joke/stereotype, or if men feel more similarly to the way women seem to often feel.\n\n\"Objectification\" can be kind of abstract so I hope it is okay if I provide a few examples just to help the discussion, although if you want to ignore the examples and just talk about your experiences/thoughts on objectification that's great too.\n\nExamples: \n\n* You overhear two female friends talking about your body in a sexual way, like, \"I hope we see [you] at that party and he's wearing tight pants!\" or \"I hope his outfit shows off his amazing sexy arms.\"\n\n* Your boss implies that you you got an office near theirs because she (or he? does it make a difference?) likes to look at you\n\nWhat is your reaction? Do you feel flattered or uncomfortable or something else?\nMen, what are your thoughts and feelings about being objectified/sexualized?",
"chosen": "If I experienced objectification as often as attractive enough girls do, I'd probably love it for the first few months. Right now I'd actually love to have comments made about my body, as I've been working hard at the gym for a while now. But I do think it would get old.\n\nI don't think girls mind having their bodies admired. After all, most of them spend considerable amounts of time on hair, skin care, make up, and time at the gym. I can see why many girls are jaded to it though - catcalling and lewd comments can get old and people want to be valued as something more than eye candy.\n",
"rejected": "I've never been sexualized or objectified in any way, ever, so it would be a nice thing to experience.\n"
},
{
"query": "Example:\n\n(IT/CS/Soft)- Diversity Requirements and H1B limitations are a joke. The candidate with the most skill should be hired, not one who fills in the \"diversity requirements\". If that candidate is foreign or local, white or asian it doesn't matter\nMen, what is the strongest or most controversial opinion you hold in your field?",
"chosen": "Advertising / Digital Experience Design\n\nBanner ads are stupid and not necessary.\n",
"rejected": "PHILOSOPHY IS VERY FUCKING IMPORTANT!!! \n\nIt's not directly my field, but I'm not very far and I like it. I'm still what you can call a n00b, but I'm really passionate about it, and my blood boils whenever I hear someone saying that philosophy might be fun but not useful, or something along those lines.\n"
}
] | 9
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00005888938903808594,
"logprob2": -5.125,
"signal": 5.124941110610962
}
|
{
"logprob1": -9.5367431640625e-7,
"logprob2": -8.375,
"signal": 8.374999046325684
}
| 3.250058
| 3
|
7043
|
[
{
"query": "Please help. We've only been on two dates. He hosted and had activities in mind for us and stuff. What have been your favorites!?\nWhat has been your favorite date?",
"chosen": "01/30/2021 - that was the day my little angel was born\n",
"rejected": "Axe throwing is always fun, see if any bars/breweries have axe throwing.\n"
},
{
"query": "I had a dream last night where the vet we usually take my beagle to told me that she wasn't going to make it (for reasons unknown) and she had to be put down. Problem was, *I* was the one who had to kill her, and with a *hunting knife*.\n\nThe following dream was bloody and depressing and when I finally woke up I grabbed her from the foot of my bed and hugged the shit out of her. I've been with her all day now.\n\nThe point is, I feel super uneasy and sick to my stomach now, and have all day. Tell me a story about when this has happened to you, or just you're worst nightmare.\nHave any of you ever had a nightmare that was so bad you were shaken up for all of the following day?",
"chosen": "Yep. Typing on mobile so forgive typos. \n\nI was at the movie theater watching some movie. I heard the shower running behind the theater's emergency exit door. I get out of my seat and walk down to the door. I open it to find myself in my bathroom with the shower on. I know my wife was showering but I don't see her shadow. I pull back the curtain to see my wife floating face up in the water. Her lips are blue. Her eyes are wide open. I wake up screaming with tears in my eyes. I couldn't go back to sleep that night.\n",
"rejected": "Yes, I've had that happen lots of times. I dream nightmares too often, and I don't know why. The pillow is the only thing that accepts my huggage. Though I don't kill people in my dreams, I almost always dream that I get stabbed by poles and knives, also being humiliated by the people closest to me. \n\nDreams are sooo spaced out it makes me wonder if I am mentally stable or if my brain is playing games with me. Perhaps I really am crazy, but my brain lets all the steam out while I sleep so I can be normal the morning after!\n"
},
{
"query": "My singing voice is garbage, i cant write lyrics, i cant play an instrument, and I can't read music, but for as long as i can remember i loved music and wanted to tell stories with music. Except im bad at it, and thats making me frustrated and depressed. Any tips for an aspiring songwriter?\nMusicians of askmen, what are your tips for an aspiring songwriter who is bad at music?",
"chosen": "Practice. They say it takes about 10,000 hours to become expert in something, everyone sucks to begin with - hard work is often mistaken for natural born talent.\n",
"rejected": "Start writing crappy songs.\n\nKeep practicing and getting feedback.\n\nEventually start to improve.\n"
},
{
"query": "In shows there are 3 guys and 1 girl. At parties there like 4 guys for every girl. It seems like there would be a 50-50...\nWhy do there always seem to be more guys than girls?",
"chosen": "In tv, I think it's like that because when there is a majority of women, people consider it a girl show. Same with race, when the majority of the characters are black, people call it a black show. I think it sort of broadens the potential audience in a way when the majority of main characters are white males.\n",
"rejected": "Best guess: Because the attractive girls might be home with their boyfriends, and the unattractive girls might be too shy to attend?\n\nMore likely: Confirmation bias and/or tunnel vision on your part. You're likely acutely aware of how many guys are there and remembering them more. Back in my day I went to tons of parties and the split was generally pretty even. \n\nHowever I will say that \"huge group of girls\" type outings typically land at a club instead of a house party because often when women get gussied up they wanna shake their groove thangs and drink fancy drinks. I found it much more common for women to show up to house parties as a group of two or three, and for guys to show up in larger groups.\n"
},
{
"query": "By this, I'm talking advice that makes you sound crazy, but has solid reasoning behind it. It could be about anything, as long as it matches that criteria. I don't have advice like this to give out myself, but was randomly curious as to what you guys had.\nWhat's your one \"you laugh, but I'm serious\" piece of advice?",
"chosen": "Some of the best food you will ever eat will be random shit you pull out of the fridge and throw together on a whim.\n\nLearn to cook, learn how flavors work together, and start experimenting.\n",
"rejected": "to get laid easily do one of 2 things. Treat a princess like a whore or treat whore like a princess\n"
},
{
"query": "I am curious, I've read several posts from men wondering what they are doing wrong in regards to relationships and they analyze what they are told during the breakup. I know when ending a relationship I tend to place the blame on myself to soften the blow, but is this the best approach? Would it be more beneficial to be blunt and tell you the real reason even if it might be hurtful? I would never say anything just to hurt someone's feelings, but if the reason I am breaking up with you is that you are too clingy, or you don't make time for me or your lack of common sense is super annoying or whatever the case may be, would that be better than \"we just want different things\" or \"I just need some space right now\"?\nMen of Reddit, how do you want to be dumped?",
"chosen": "I would prefer to know the reasons behind the state of our relationship. Don't worry about hurting my feelings, you(probably) already did that by breaking up with me. Just give me your honest opinions and be firm.\n",
"rejected": "I prefer the \"death with a bang, not a whimper\" approach.\n"
},
{
"query": "UV Volt:\n\nUV Blue, Mt. Dew Voltage, lemonade, an orange or lemon, optional: blackberries and blueberries. \n\nPut UV Blue in freezer overnight, everything else should be chilled. \n\nOptional: muddle blueberries and blackberries at the bottom of the glass. \n\n2 parts UV Blue, 3 parts Mt. Dew Voltage, 1 part lemonade. \n\nStir. \n\nGarnish with slice of lemon/orange peel, squeeze the oils over the top of the drink. \n\nLazy Aztec:\n\nKahlua (I prefer French Vanilla), Half & Half, cinnamon, optional: allspice, nutmeg, pumpkin spice. \n\nOver a full glass of ice, pour one part H&H, then 2 parts of Kahlua, then one part of H&H. Stir until mixed. Add a small amount of Kahlua after you stir, no further mixing. On top of the ice, sprinkle cinnamon. Other spices can be added if desired.\nWhat's an alcoholic cocktail you invented and want to share?",
"chosen": "Cake batter:\n\n* 1/2 part French Kiss vanilla liqueur\n* 1/2 part vanilla vodka\n* 3 parts ginger ale\n",
"rejected": "I doubt I was the first person to try these combos but:\n\nWhiskey, cloudy apple juice and ginger beer is pretty good.\n\nAlso dark rum, pineapple juice, ginger ale and lime juice, in something like a 2:6:4:1 ratio. Bloody good without the rum too.\n\nWhite Russians with vanilla vodka are great too and have resulted in many a pleasantly messy evening.\n"
},
{
"query": "Yes, this is a x-post from the one thread in AskWomen.\n\nI'll answer here, there isn't anything I can think of that's sexier that would require her doing something with me or for me soooo ladies please tell me. (And yes if I'm not attracted to her I'll get a momentary eh feeling but after that passes it'll be really hot)\nWould you like to know a female friend of yours masturbates to you?",
"chosen": "I'd be flattered as long as it's like \"I think about you while masturbating.\" \n\nNot \"You remember that little orange light you saw outside of you window last night at 3 AM? That was the end of my post-spank it cigarette.. I really like your curtains, by the way.\"\n",
"rejected": "I would like it so much that I would probably masturbate to the thought of her masturbating to me. Hell, just thinking about the chance that any of my female friends might be masturbating to me makes me want to masturbate.\n\n Fuck, I need to get out more...\n"
},
{
"query": "Curious to learn more about everyone's hobbies, how they were introduced to them, how it has impacted their life, etc!\nMen - what are your hobbies?",
"chosen": "Weight lifting, I'd love to be able to get back into woodworking but I don't have the time.\n",
"rejected": "World building.\n\nI eventually want to write my own fantasy novel, but I just don't have time right now.\nSo I have been slowly developing the world that I want my novel to take place in. Developing the cities with their own history and developing the races that I want to be living in my world.\n\nit's not the most conventional hobby, but it is still a lot of fun.\n"
}
] | 1
|
{
"logprob1": -0.00023174285888671875,
"logprob2": -7.875,
"signal": 7.874768257141113
}
|
{
"logprob1": -9.5367431640625e-7,
"logprob2": -8,
"signal": 7.999999046325684
}
| 0.125231
| 7
|
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